Their True Source Of FEAR
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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Can you make a video on separation anxiety and overcoming it? And do you do counseling over the phone? @alexander grace
@@erickbenjaminperez3131 crying, booze, working, or a dog..
Or all of the above..
m8 you completely ignore the main reason why guys fear relationships these days. The issue isnt the break up its the risk of getting falsely accused of things( especially thx to the metoo campaign) and than get thrown in jail with literally 0 evidence besides that you slept together months before the break up and her word.
The problem is the law and the government not some kind of being scared of getting rejected lol. Men arent scared of applying for a job even tho you can get rejected there too...
Remember kids: attention is their crack, and accountability is their kryptonite
I would pin you to the top if I could.
A.k.a entitlement.
So, give them both? Whatever is applicable? xD
Haha
Spot on! I'll remember that one.
I ended 4 of 5 of my relationships officially.
Thing is: She checked out before that by cheating in at least 3 of those cases. So in reality she ended it, which changes the statistic drastically.
I am pretty confident that this is true for many, if not most men.
Same. I actually ended all of my relationships. But only in one was because I just couldn't take her (emotionally) abusive behavior and dumped her. The other ones was because they cheated and they had checked out of the RL way before that time.
OP, how did you find out she cheated? Did she tell you? I don't imagine most women would be that honest.
@@selohcin I'd say most do: emotionally, physically, or both.
Same i only been in two serious ones and i ended both.
If a women. seem to always find something to nag you and you have to walk on eggshell, and you try your best, she 100% cheated and is trying to find a reason to dump you.
Dont wait.
Dont waste your time.
When your first relationship is with a narcissist, you absolutely fear of getting together with a second one.
Facts
i feel you bro
This was me, but I found someone who thinks exactly like myself. Not getting married.
They're all narcissists. It's just a question of which sort and how much.
All women are narcissist.
I'm one of those guys, who's given up on women completely. I really don't see why I should waste time and resources on them, when they are so reluctant to give anything back - or constantly looking for greener pastures.
people don't ask themselves what do women contribute to the relationship. do they work and get money for the household? do they support the family via being a stay-at-home mom? Do they contribute personality-wise by being sweet, kind, loving, supportive and optimistic?
Most of the housecleaning is now automated
Most women now have 1.5 kids compared to the 7 kids they had in the past (to be fair, half of those kids died from disease and our healthcare is superior now)
Men now can choose to work from home, so they can handle the kids and house-chores
Many women are negative-value:
-no intention to have kids or already have kids from another man she divorced
-negative, fat, bitter, jaded. complains, and nags.
-make little money but wants you to make double or pushes you to work more hours to deal with her expenses.
Women can recover after a divorce, men have to start over
They can recover because they have *OPTIONS* especially in the social media era. They can very easily slip into another relationship like it's nothing.
Nope... if she's over 35 and has custody of her kids I don't think most men will date her.
@@liyaziiii3026yes they will because Simpson are legion , for they are many.
Its easy to recover when you have stolen half his hard earned cash and assets .
Reminds me of a scene from rick and morty "Morty, you aren't a hot girl, you can't give up on your life and set up shop in someone elses" said by his mother
Alexander is so right about trusting yourself and judgement. I'm an intelligent guy and thought I had things pretty well figured out. It rocked me to my core when I got totally played by a woman with a personality disorder. I didnt see the signs, and got blindsided with the manipulation. Its very humbling to learn just how much you DONT know. There is always someone out there better and more experienced at the game.
Thank you, Alex. I just ended a toxic relationship, because of creators like you. I needed this video so much to point me in the right direction.
Does this graph take into consideration how many of those relationships ended by men were because she cheated?
underrated comment
Women cheat at the same or even higher rates tho so that basically evens out right there. Like that stat alone offsets your whole basis for argument
@@Splatterpunk_OldNewYork a man disguised as a qoman for clout..i see.
@@Therevolution7 wow just wow.
@@Splatterpunk_OldNewYork nope; wont be silent because i can take a challenge physially or intellectully and am not a keyboard warrior.
My comment wasn't meant at you- it was more a suggestion that the poster can be a man disguised as a woman as have been proven many times.
Great content, Alexander.
I had an ex with a PD. My failures included not holding firm to insisting on a psych evaluation and my adopting an appeasement strategy.
As for men blaming others, many of us already take enough blame that many men are now refusing to be punching bags anymore. We’d like to see women accept an iota of responsibility and pick up their end of the couch for once.
That has always been my biggest fear. Stallone’s 35 year old relationship just went down the drain.
Yep. You can be a living legend and your wife will be all “meh, I can do better. Dump this loser.”
Stallone would be in the 1% for his age for physique, wealth and status. Still not enough to keep a woman happy. What's the point?
Tom Brady too
Bill Gates, Amazon etc.
Imagine putting all those years, effort and resources into building a relationship just to have her leave half a life later! Happened to me! After a 10 year relationship she just left in the most horrible way! Ive been single ever since (4 years now)! I don’t see that changing! Im 34 now!
enjoy your freedom and money
My feelings exactly, being dumped also shortly before our 10th anniversary. Only difference is that the time I got left to rebuild my life is way shorter, as I'm 45. All those years, special moments and kind gestures, trust and hope for a good future together - everything wasted, gone down the drain.
I know I should take this as a lesson and use what I learned for a better next relationship, but man... if each lesson lasts this long, I'll be as old as Yoda by the time I get it right.
You've never been alone for long, as I understand, your relationship lasted from 20 to 30yo. I've been completely alone and virgin till 29, when I met my future wife, who taught me another lesson - a 6 years long one this time.
So, to speak from my own experience of 29 years of loneliness, I can tell that it's not fun and definitely something that I'd rather not do again. But, at the same time, I cannot find the resources to even meet women, let alone trust them and try to build a long term relationship - which is what I always wanted.
I hope I'll get myself together and find a better life before I turn 50. Which is what I wish to you also :)
@@raduanghel5105 You go by way better if You do not trust 'em. Not. For. A. Minute.
I agree with Alex to an extent. The problem is that it's wayyyy harder to meet people these days. So warm approach is challenging. If you slip up, you're on social media as a creep, or you lose your job. These are real-life NEW challenges that can't be ignored and told "Just get out there!" I know that's not what you fully mean. At the same time, most guys aren't even that scared of rejection or getting dumped. They're terrified that there is no literal zero legal or social burden of performance on the vvomen.
After learning all about this stuff I have no interest in wasting time with cold approaches. And now I work from home and am also pretty introverted so it's like where can I even try warm approaches? Lots of work needed to expand circles and make an effort to go be more extroverted for unfortunately nowadays, a rather small chance of finding anyone actually worthwhile even if you do those things.
Go out and join groups that do things you like. Easiest way to naturally meet people and potentially a good partner.
@@robinmiller871 That only works to some degree. Men and women rarely have the same interests and hobbies, and when they do, most times they are not compatible in the other areas.
For example: average guys who are into anime and comics were lead to believe that going to anime conventions and comic cons, would eventually meet someone there, but in reality, it rarely happens, as they are not attracted to most of the females in the same sphere, and most females that are attractive and into anime and comics, are rarely ever into geeks, unless they're attractive and got something going. Gamers have roughly the same issues. It's probably the same with every geekish hobby or interest.
I met my first ever GF while roleplaying on the now defunct UGO forums. The forums were heavily male dominated, and she was one of the three females that were active there. And she was hot AF, and I was lucky enough that she was in the same city as me, and into some of the things that I was into, although we were incompatible in some other areas (which eventually led to us separating).
The point is that the chances of finding someone that is highly attuned to you are incredibly high, even in your own circles (which let's be realistic, they can only be so large), to the degree that you start wondering if it's ever gonna happen.
@@DavidSmith-mt7tb Yes I understand that I too am so introverted that Im glad I met my husband at work..
Heard a lot about pre nups being violated and invaludated in divorce courts by the judge itself.
It's important that, first of all, you guys are sure you did not commit to the wrong woman.
Brazil has a clause in marriage law that states that you have to decide if you're going to share your stuff or complete what is yours is yours, what's hers is hers, before matriage. So you'll walk off a failed marriage keeping all the stuff you bought in your name and there's nothing a sleazy divorce lawyer can do about it.
Modern women and men are now talking about their 'partner'. If you have a partner rather than a husband or wife, legal or common-law, then you should have a partnership agreement-like all partnerships do. This should stipulate the terms of partnership dissolution and family court should be unnecessary.
It's easy to say that one should pick a better woman. The woman that you marry is not the woman the you divorce. Check your state's laws in the USA regarding marriage. If you get a pre-nup, get it well in advance of a wedding and make sure that she has her own lawyer. This is not foolproof, but it may help.
Pois é Joe , mais conhecido aqui como comunhão universal de bens e separação total de bens 😂👍
Invalidated how? Can you share more? This is an important issue
20 Minutes of gold my guy. I have 2 very close friends who I've gotten to know and later gotten married in the past 10 years. Both I inquired about their thoughts on a prenup and both times I got laughed at. One of the marriages is still going strong which is beautiful to see, but the other one, he got burned really hard and it was such an emotional toll on him legit had to have taken off like a year of his life. There is no excuse or argument against a prenup gents, if she isn't mature enough to agree to one with a lawyer present, then think twice about the marriage.
Marriage contracts have been extremely important & often very detailed for millennia. It’s an atrocity that they’re no longer given their due.
If she cant sign a prenup then theres no reason to marry her imo. If she says "so youre planning to leave me," just tell her that not getting a prenup basically implies that shes planning to leave you.
Alex I should probably clarify. I've been with my girlfriend for 5 yrs. At some point she wants to get married, something I never see myself doing. I told her at the very beginning of our relationship that I never wanted to get married. I don't want to become a bitter and hateful guy if the marriage doesn't workout.
i could love a girl with all my heart but i wont ever get married either - its unnecessary risk with no upside for a man
Women always, and that’s every time, believe if they stick around that you will change your mind because of her. Once she hits that point she will leave you once you reject the idea after so many years. A woman who wants to get married will accept the fact you don’t want to get married at the start because they truly believe you will change. Women are not honest with themselves. Their eventual hurt is self-inflicted.
@@terrydactylspontaneous2596 Very true!
Do you want children? Does she?
Dont marry you idiot and stand your ground. Marriage is not needed in this day and age
I have trust issues. I used to be morbidly obese, and as a baseline, I was rarely given the time of day by anyone who didn't just need something from me. When I lost 200-lbs, it was like I stepped into a whole new world where I was no longer invisible, but that identity of "I'm just a means to the ends of others" remained. And I know I've missed a lot of dating opportunities because I thought the woman was just being nice to me where in retrospect she was exhibiting a lot of choosing signals. When you've gone nearly your whole life and don't know what it's like for a woman to throw you such signals or one who openly flirts with you in a cold environment... you're going to assume they're just being nice. It's incredibly hard to get over that complex where you don't see yourself as a sexual being, but it's possible.
Problem is if you have had a rough child hood and a relationship triggers some trauma left over I have found there is not much compassion or understanding and most people simply don't wanna deal with it.
More often then not women will ignore the underlying condition and then make the behavior worse to use that against you and as justification for further emotional abuse.
The sense of betrayal that left in me has kind of made me unwilling to take a chance again.
Because I still have this anger inside of me, I can not move past it or forgive because what happened is not even acknowledged.
Your video "Watch out for these 5 things women do" is an amazing example of how that went down with me.
Its compounded if those things are compounded by 'social camoflage'. So many people had so many reasons for how wonderful these abusive or game playing types were, to them. Often over the very things needed.
The result; good signals are proof of inner badness.
Bad enough and that stuff aint just fleeting thoughts. It wires to survival stuff. Adds tohead screwing.
Nobody owes you understanding re: trauma.
I had terrible trauma and ptsd - but I've healed it, let go of codrpendency, learned to communicate (NVC), and can set and enforce boundaries. I still get some intense emotions but I'll deal with them on my own and don't bring them to my relationships.
Don't go sailing with a broken boat and complain you can't survive the storms of your life. You have to dedicate yourself to the inner work even if you were traumatized by others.
@@edheldude i think the guy just wants some compassion and understanding don't be so harsh lmao You are the same type of person to dunk on him for opening up to people
@@checkthisout7616 Your right...I go that vibe too.
Get therapy son.... for the rough childhood part... I had alcoholic parents, which had me messed up and twisted inside for a decade or two, and I got therapy to help straighten out the trauma's... it works son, it will take some time, but its worth it.
I have to say that it was a truely inspirational video Alexander. I've been dealing with a bit of self-doubt these days but, thanks to friends, therapy, stoicism and videos like this, i feel like I'll slowly but surely manage to get these shitty, useless thoughts out of my head once and for all. Hope y'all have a great day ✌🏽✌🏽
Good for you!!
Start eating healthy, get in shape and follow a passion that requires physical exertion. Strive to excel at it. This will be all the therapy you need to remove self doubt in your life. Prove to yourself that you are capable in something that you love to do. Your confidence will change and your self doubts will simply fade away.
Really needed this, never been in a relationship but seeing friends go in and out of relationships and the divorces that have happens with uncles and aunt (or prolong toxic marriages) really started doubting having a connection with any girl but. If you never believe a healthy relationship exist you will fail to see the signs of hope that could allow that to happen. I remember 2 girls from my high school who were amazing women and they have strong relationships going for 8-10 years. Seeing and having a healthy relationship with individuals teaches you what to look for in a relationship.
I've dated dozens of girls and I've been the one to break up with them almost every time. I actually can't think of a serious relationship where they've broken up w me. There have been a couple of mutual breakups but even then, I was the one to initiate the conversation. I'm pretty sure I have a problem. I will say though, that I've been turned down by girls or theyve been disinterested at the onset, but I was quick to discover this right away and things didn't last more than a couple of weeks in those instances.
I have too much anger in me as an hyper sensitive man, to date, i know how badly it could end.
I never had any help so i just reacted to bullying by beating down people, i don't believe that i can restrain from violence if she disrespect me.
Become less sensitive.
@hail berseker Don't try to become less sensitive, that's such bad advice. You can't tell a dog not to bark. Embrace and accept your sensitivity and you'll naturally bring forth and encorage assertiveness. As you are experiencing, repressing your sensitivity is only bringing out an aggressive side that you don't want to become. By accepting your sensitivity you'll naturally bring forth and encourage assertiveness as you'll adopt this compementary side. And you won't feel the need to hold on to your anger.
Why does anyone owe you any Help?! Get the Help, and Help yourself. Stop playing the Victim card, like a WEAK Snowflake.
You are like the dude whos car is busted... and blames the car, the world, etc... for it not running properly.
Everyone else, gets the car repaired, and or... repairs it themselves.
@@maidende8280 how
@@PUNishment777 Exposure therapy/cognitive behavioural therapy. It’s how I overcame my own similar issues.
Even a good woman in a good relationship is still likely to be unfaithful.
The problem with prenuptial agreements in the US is that judges do whatever they want in family courts. The prenup may be written very clear and a judge will order whatever he/she feels like ordering. It’s complete BS.
Great even-keeled video, thanks for sharing. Approach carefully, vet over time, and make no long-term plans over short-term feelings. I wish I had done this in the past.
I'm in my 30's, I've improved a lot over the years and have much more work to do of course. I'm actually not in fear of what they could do, because life is a chance. All you can do is your best and pick up the pieces from there as best you can. But more I'm more annoyed with the overall unwarranted requirements and nothing to balance that out. Like overall many women have greater freedom which they should by all means have but also with greater responsibility, which typically conveniently filtered out (freedom with a little of its cost as possible). Holding a man to high standards but not themselves. I still love women for sure but truth be told establishing a family with biological children is the only reason I'm still interested in marriage. This the post chivalry world that men and women probably have to adapt to. A shame too since a highly woman is truly unstoppable (slight empathy, slight willingness to look acknowledge opposite perspectives, good judgment). Once again absolute love women and what they could and do bring to the table but this trail by fire free for all is quite concerning. Thanks for the video mate, I appreciate the channel the perspective you bring to the table and particularly within this video.
In my dating life as a single I've only had one girl dump me after more than 2 dates vs maybe 10 times the other way, however I've been divorced 3 times by the woman's choice. Apparently, I can keep a girl as long as I want as long as I don't marry them!
There's no quality control on "reputable" dating sites.
If you intend to get in a relationship remember that up to 50% of your "values" will have to be sacrificed to make way for up to 50% of their "values", and you should hold your ground and not budge on the >50% of your "values" that matter the most to you.
Your partner SHOULD do the same.
If your "core values" (up to that 50% mark) don't work with your partners' (i.e. you are at odds over something) decide if it's a make-or-break situation, something either of you can relent on (after much discussion), or something you can HAPPILY fight over (and make up over) and relax into keeping the argument going on-and-off for the rest of your life together (it becomes the "bickering like an old married couple" thing).
Take as much time as you need to put things in their rightful place in your relationship together - especially having to incorporate the other person's lifestyle/job/hobbies/etc. into YOUR routine daily life.
Make a habit of asking how they are doing, or listening as they tell you what matters to them/what they did that day, and do it DAILY.
Knowing that you care enough to listen to their day/problems/successes is a great way to "touch base", keep updated, and requires little effort for great reward.
It won't all be YOUR way, but it also shouldn't be all THEIRS.
Learn when to concede the point, and when to hold your ground because it really matters to YOU.
Alex, I have a question. Why do women commit suicide when they are rejected in a relationship? The reason I'm asking this is that in Asia, in some parts of the countries I always hear stories of a woman committing suicide when she gets rejected when they are in a relationship. Some are normal ones and some are mistresses or the third wheel. If things work on hypergamy for them, then "logically" speaking they shouldn't be throwing their lives away, no? Or perhaps those guys are the ones they really wanted and they messed up and use suicide as a means to win him back? Still, it doesn't make any sense. Or does this not apply to "modern" women and they have evolved into being more materialistic? Care to share some insight on this part?
My thoughts is that those women are still strongly bonded to their partner. Women that initiate a breakup are no longer emotionally attached and likely have another man already. Historically women were dependent on men to survive. Being rejected and not having a back up hits them harder emotionally.
If this is in Asia and some parts, it is probably the cultural honour aspect. In some countries such as China and Japan, failure to get married and have children can be seen as the worst possible failure by that woman, to the extent of suicide being the only way out. I don't think it really happens that much though, based on the statistics for suicide anyway, so the stories you hear are probably extremely rare but spread very far because women killing themselves is very rare and shocking.
That reality comment is 🔥 :
We don’t live in reality, but in our perception of it. We can only possibly accommodate what we think we can.
(paraphrased)
We live in reality AND our perception of it.
"To Blave!"
I have never been dumped. I been blown off by women and flaked on, but never been straight up dumped... That's because I was the one who realized I had to get out.
Look, I've easily ended 75 percent of my relationships but the women "stole" the breakup because women's egos are VERY fragile. And i let them "have" the breakup because there is NOTHING more dangerous than a dumped woman. They will smear you at the very least and at worst...well, no man likes the taste of the hood of a police cruiser.
So...I would take self-reported statistics from women about this (or anything else) with an ENORMOUS grain of salt. These are very fragile people with little or no capacity for self-reflection or accountability. And that makes them DANGEROUS.
0:46 These stats dont add up, The percentages dont add up
bruh
Yes, because people are confused or lying to themselves. Maybe they say it’s a mutual breakup, as a couple, but each individual thinks someone was responsible (probably that they initiated the breakup bc almost no one wants to be dumped).
Yes. Everyone knows.
You're confusing the data, they're independent stats and don't have to add up, a single person may have ended three relationships and have one ended by a partner, another person may have never ended any relationship, etc.
Thankfully in the years since my divorce I've learned a lot from channels like yours. I now know what I need to be able to vet and select a quality woman but I don't have the desire to put in that effort anymore so I've just taken myself out of the dating market. I guess that's a whole different problem, I just don't see it being worth the time and effort
I would say it's much higher than 1 in 5 women cheating. I know women who've cheated that aren't even honest with themselves about it, let alone others. The hampster wheel is strong with many women!
I was thinking about the prenup stuff and obviously Alexander we have talked about that before and you know I support mandatory marriage prenups to avoid certain people from being singled out and to support the wealthier person in the relationship from being financially taken for a ride.
But I do understand why women would be upset being asked to sign one as it does come across as you not being trustworthy. Years ago if my partner asked me for one I would have felt attacked, not because I secretly want any money he has but it does come across as “I don’t trust you”. I understand now that many men want them and it isn’t an attack on me and I am more secure so if my partner asked for one now I would understand.
I am just saying to guys if they want a prenup and their woman gets upset, not to assume she wants your money, there is a lot of feelings there so try and navigate the situation in a way that you aren’t attacking her and tbh I would bring it up early in the relationship if you are discussing possibly a marriage that you would want a prenup, that way it isn’t sprung on her
If it's about trust, then why so many women insist on marriage?
Isn't it by the design a conract to give guarantees to the woman? If she trusts you, why does she need half of your money?
So why is it wrong then for a man to have some guarantees as well?
Btw, prenups don't do much. They can be easily nullified. All she has to say is that she was tricked into signing it.
There is an easy solution how you can protect yourself againts family courts: don't get married.
@@raytracer5726 because I would say Over 90% of women don’t get married for the legal and contractual reasons.
I am getting married to my partner but for me it is just a sign he is serious (we plan to start a family and technically we are married under common law anyway) but with women tend to get looked at as if there is something wrong with us if we are with a guy for a significant period of time and no ring (why hasn’t he proposed to her, she just not be wife material enough) so tbh it is as dark as it is… a self esteem boost and it makes you feel more stable
As for the prenup stuff, you are right, but I think there are ways round that, hopefully they would become mandatory in future and hold up in courts. I say they should be mandatory to avoid people from feeling singled out
Considering the condition of the modern world its just to much of a liability and headache
Hi Alexander. I applaude your optimism. However, due to decades of (extreme) feminism, becoming 'woke', cancel culture and the demonisation of men, the reality is somewhat different. I recently become a widower, after having the love of a good woman for 30+ years. I have no interest in the 'modern woman'.
From what I have seen (and its getting worse), I agree with huggleskuishy comment below. "Remember kids: attention is their crack, and accountability is their kryptonite."
I think that your viewers could also gain some benefit from another channel "Better Bachelor".
The legal framework in Australia is gambling at best, while Family Law Courts are a horror show.
I do like your 10 steps and think if men (especially young men) follow your advice, they will be far better prepared. My advice is to find and follow your purpose in life. Be very, very careful and wary of the women that come along. Be very careful where you 'plant' your seed. Remember, women have ten holes, but can only get pregnant in one. And if you really have to get married - prenup!
In my experience the assessment that only 20% of women cheat is way to low.
I ended all my relationships, why? If I don't feel comfortable in them I leave.
If you have to sign a second contract to protect your self from the first then its probaly not a good contract. Second women are insentivized to break the marriage contract which is why the account for 80 percent of them
Any good woman will sign a prenup. Huge red flag if she won’t.
Huge red flag if she's a woman.. 🤣🤣😘
Prenups don't work under the Duluth model.
Dating /marriage doesn't work under the Duluth model.
End of, no argument.
I'm actually really good at sorting out bad women I think. So my issue is less that I'll get into a relationship that ends badly because of them, and more that I'll never find a good one that actually reciprocates my feelings. Because many of the ones that are actually wife material for me don't know how to pick men and are still chasing the wrong ones.
I left each of my relationships.
8:35 Responsibility is a good topic you're brought here
A good lawyer can dismiss a prenup so not a good option ever. Virtually useless
I want so bad to believe what Alex is saying is tangible in the climate of today's dating market. Deep down I do want a relationship but the long odds of that Gamble are just too stacked against men for me to even bother taking that chance.
Great analysis Alexander! Some points that really spoke to me and how I need to reframe my thinking on dating
Interesting stats. Personally I've done the breaking up near 70% of my relationships and they all were in response to crazy mental abuse with a smattering of physical thrown in. The times I got dumped were all in high school and one in my early twenties.
Im now 53 and 2 years out of realationship with a narcissist. I've "dated" a few times(having a bigger house/pool/ couple of cars, full head of no gray hair, 6'2", no belly, etc helps bring them in even at my age) but Im am done with attempting anything serious anymore.
The other point of "meeting your soulmate/making the connection" is almost pointless. They ALL act like this, mostly convincingly, in the first 6-9 months and then start playing their game. Im personally not into always being on guard for trigger behaviours just to be in a "relationship".
Time is precious.
Shits impossible, gave up 10 years ago at 26
I just don't understand, why are you still here if you gave up 10 years ago ?
@@QuinquetPourpre you never stop learning. Also, if you get those pangs of "trying again" you have videos that remind you what a s***show it all is.
I actually noticed that it got easier for me when I was 25. I am 27 now and get more attention from both younger (around 20) and post wall women (30+). I am mentally more mature and the younger ones i meet seem attracted to it. Some see me as an older brother but some like it romantically. With the post wall ones I am usual not too serious actually so they get mad when I am honest about it haha.
Gym helped too even though I am not ripped nor have abs but having bigger arms seems to work.
@@diemervdberg7661 lucky you
I am not scared, I am concerned. 1) she could leave me and take my resources, any children we have, and leave me with next to nothing and 2) There are mostly trash women, who have been ran through by multiple guys, like looking for a hay in a used needle stack.
This video should be titled: general guide for relationship.
general _Fantasy_ guide for relationship..
fixed it, yw
Great video, interesting and on point all the way through.
According to genetic records, you have 50% more female ancestors as male ancestors. Do that math. That means something like half of men had children with nearly 100% of females. It's way worse today. Look at military families. A cheating military wife is simply a matter of course. Jody has been a popular colloquial term since there has been a military. The simple fact is, most men need to invest a lot to get permission from a women to mate with her. Women don't need to invest anything. They just need to say yes. Whenever the man is not around to keep her honest, 90% of women will eventually cheat. They'll justify it to themselves somehow, and the modern woman doesn't need to justify herself to anyone, especially not to her spouse.
Only by being accountable to each other, can we keep each other honest. Otherwise it's SHTF time, almost always.
The issue is that most women as per stats are and will be in long term relationships 'Lay Down Sally.' They will quit mostly for emotional reasons.
And the fear is, if you marry or are in a long term defacto relationship, not only will you lose out on a personal level, the government will also take your wealth and give it to her.
The government with these unethical relationship laws incentivise and motivates the 'Lay Down Sally,' in most women while most men fight on trying to make the relationship work.
Then public opinion and media tells most men they are the losers for divorce and failure when they did not quit at all.
The loser is the quiter in the team not the fighter.
So tell me fellas how is this going to change?
Suggestions ☞
Me I'm stuck at the social circle step. I have ASD/Autism and just can't make friends easily. So I don't have any women as options. Like seriously what are my options on that? Spend all my nights trying to join activity groups? It's a very heavy cost I find and it doesn't bear fruit most of the time.
"Us human beings, we don't really live in reality. We live in our perception of reality, and only things that we believe are possible for us are actually ever going to occur" 🤯
There are a couple of issues with such statistics, because they come from stories people tell, and not facts: 1) People like to be the hero/victim. People may say they were dumpers/dumpees because of spite, or trying to attract sympathy, or feeling like a hero and 2) People may believe they are dumping people when in reality they have been dumped. Allow me to elaborate:
To be honest, I have been with well over 100 women, and I have dumped 100% of them expect for one, who is my current partner. However, if you ask any of them they will tell you they dumped me (and that was by design). Most of these "relationships" where hook-ups, so whenever the woman became demanding (or I found out what was behind her good looks) I simply made them leave me. Generally speaking I would become a bit more right-wing than my usual and they would get mad and that would serve as a basis for her leaving and waiting for an apology call from me that will never come.
Why would I do that? Because the few times I tried to come clean and leave them they presented me with all sort of dramas and troubles, so I rather simply let them enjoy the fantasy of control why I already took what I came for. And there is no shortage of women these days.
Great Chanel, great information. Please make a happy video about how a healthy relationship looks and feels.
No one knows this information.
Prenuptials are no less justified than life insurance. Trust too weak to slip past this insecurity is not strong enough to justify marriage.
The biggest mistake i made in relationships is taking women seriously and treating them as a adult .
Way to much work.
If women were consumer products, nobody would buy one.
Men, slavery and tax slavery sums that up.
This video was full of content, cheers.
No marriage, no religion, I'm free.
Killer channel bro, thank you.
99.9% of “relationships” are ended or prevented by women when you also factor in the 379.612 billion men in the “friend zone”.
If you can't keep on having sex with a woman after divorce then why should she be able to get your money after divorce? What makes you needed as a man is mostly what you can provide. If divorced women can get that for free then men become totally irrelevant to then at the point where they are due for getting your money in divorce. These divorce laws were not intelligently crafted and no one is trying to change it.
Great content!
Alexander, you are absolutely right about taking responsibility for men's self! This exactly what I had to work on. That is one of the hardest challenges I've had. Doing it at is 33 certainly more difficult then at 20. I'd encourage younger men to look at themselves with more scrutiny.
Alex cut your hair. It’s okay. Thanks for what you do.
Agreed. It's time to let it go, and accept it haha.
Do you have a book? I would like to see a post cast between you and Rollo Tomassi.
Alexander I don't think its easy to see in the comments of your videos the ages of the men who write them.
Older men who have been through a few LTRs or marriages, and I am talking 40+ have the ability to see women in a different light than a 20 or 30 year old. As the likely hood of finding an attractive women diminishes due to you and their advancing age, the desire to put the work in to keep the relationship stable is very difficult.
We grow tired of the constant demands women make. Of the ever shifting goal posts we are supposed to live up to. Of the anger and stress that they bring into our lives. Most of the time its for reasons we can not understand anyway.
Eventually we just want to be relaxed, stress free and enjoy our time when not working, doing the things we love with the people we love. The very nature of romantic relationships with women make this all but impossible for most people. We as a species aren't designed for our romantic relationships to last forever. That's why the passion in a relationship is so short lived. Sure we all believe in the romance of happy ever after but its simply a fairytale. You end up reaching a point in life where the juice isn't worth the squeeze. It seems men and women are just too different after all.
Once your eyes are open to this. All women become unattractive with respect to LTRs.
For the men out there who are in their 20s or 30s pining for a woman to love them. Understand that although it feels like it is the key to happiness, most times its the exact opposite.
If you want true happiness, work on your body and mind. Work on your friendships. Understand your weaknesses and forgive yourself for them. Become comfortable being single with only yourself for companionship. This is very powerful for your mental stability. Keep fit, eat right, and focus on hobbies that require both physical and mental exertion that you have a passions for. Its in this world where you will be the most content. You will end up in shape, confident within yourself and passionate about your own life. The irony is that with those traits and a blasé attitude towards women you become very attractive to them. If you do decide to play with them, remember to keep the relationships short. Live in the era of passion. As soon as you feel it begin to fade, move on, don't get trapped. I believe this is the way, we as men are designed to live. Its a stress free and very fulfilling existence.
_"Once your eyes are open to this. All women become unattractive with respect to LTRs."_
This^
_"Understand your weaknesses and forgive yourself for them."_
and this^
Still too risky.
I've never ended a relationship officially; I simply vanish forever without a word from their lives. I waited until they were gone to work or friends, before gathering my belongings and vanishing into the night. This is all they deserve. I am not going to make a song and dance about it, along with all their emotional blackmail and drama.
There’s some good info here but the statement “A lot of relationships stay together,” is not only wildly inaccurate it’s completely false.
Its 2022. Relationships arent a thing anymore. They have turned into a liability and detriment for men. Just stay away and have good male friends. Buy it if you just have to get laid.
At 2:20 SOLUTIONS (10 Step plan) - this is why this is a better channel than most whine-festivals in the man-o-sphere.
how can i build a friendship with a women if i never had any experiences with friend women because i want to approach them but they alway use avoidances?
Maybe my experience can give some inspiration. About 3 years ago, I tried to push my boundaries and went out to an event on my own. Used public transport, so got to one city by train and needed to take a bus there to the event location. Wasn't quite sure which bus to take, and I saw 2 girls sitting there, who seemed dressed up for that event. So I asked if they were going (they were) and which bus to take, and to my surprise we just hung out together the entire day on that event, became friends, and have met up several times since. Two weeks ago we went to that same event again, and were joined by 2 other girls (sister + friend of sister), whom I now try to include for future events. I think I simply got lucky, but on the other hand, I set the conditions for this luck. I was the one who gathered the courage to go out there on my own, to ask those girls, and to stick around without forcing it, and it worked. 9/10 times you try you'll fail, but 10/10 times you'll fail if you never try.
Can't a get girlfriend if you don't have experience with a girlfriend then you can't do anything.
Sure seems like a lot of trouble for a dubious pay off
Welp, I have no social circles (one very small one), I'm DoOoOmed 😆
💀 Is it worth all this effort? 💀
That's the real question isn't it - ?
Every man is unique and has to decide for himself.
Nope.
Having our genes passed to the next generation is in our nature. The risk is very high (I read the book of numbers by Aaron Cleary), we live in challenging times, and few us can succeed (similar to those males in the animal kingdom) but it’s our job to work for that. I agree that it is decision every man has to take.
Only if you want kids, otherwise not.
No, that's why evolution has to trick us into it, while we're young n dumb.
And how one can develop trust in himself?
Thank you.
By understanding nobody else on the planet has any better clue than you do..
@@Dr_Wrong bingo brother 👌🏽‼️
Join a gym brother!
So, in order to meet "high quality" women, you have to meet women...
Judges use prenups for toilet paper
easy mode
Im the 12% of men lol. I guess I'm alpha.
Or a liar, liars can be in the 12%. So can peeps who bumped their head a bit too much..
@@Dr_Wrong It true, I've always been the dumper in relationships. Im being sarcastic about being an alpha male. Why would i lie about it? My observation in life is most men are born clueless. If you don't have a father or older brother to teach the game or not a fast learner, you'll become part of the 88%. I would categorize myself in the fast learner section. I understood at a very young age from observing my mother, how backwards thier thinking is.
@@Victor-it6bv well, you were guessing. I offered some guessing too..
Do only alphas dump?
Do alphas even dump at all? Maybe alphas don't have fragile egos and so don't give two shits about who did what and simply move on?
Maybe alphas let women do the dumping to spare her some emotional pain knowing he himself can handle it better..
Maybe you're an alpha that feels comfortable making your own decisions even if it hurts the woman..
Are women alpha males because because they're more likely to dump?
In my experience, actual alpha males never think about alpha/beta stuff, nor dominance, nor control.
If someone else can resolve issues, fine. If no one else can or will he'll do it.
Worrying about top dog isn't something that someone who could actually fill the role ever thinks about, getting the job done well is.. Regardless who does it: Alpha, beta, omega, child, woman, antelope, Boston terrier, zebra.. Who care?
@@Dr_Wrong I've never been dumped. Why would lie about that lol? I've dumped women before. I'm happily married for now. Hopefully that doesn't change. I was only joking about being alpha, i really dont care for labels.
@@Victor-it6bv
And I was merely whimsically commenting as if your questions, statements, or postulations were heart-felt inquiry rather than playfully rhetorical.. 😁🤣🤣
You need to listen to wheat waffles and stop making content for a while. You are wrong.
A good man finds lessons to be learned everywhere, even in the mistakes of others. Let Alex make his content, and pick out the lessons that apply to you.
@@jehandesains8674 he’s getting soft and his content is becoming idealistic and practically useless.
@@deltacharlieecho4732 have you considered the possibility that he's trying to reach the weakest, most vulnerable men who need the most help? We ALL benefit by raising our standards. We like seeing results, but results take time and effort. More people saying and showing "look, this helped me, I did this and that and this is how it improved my life", more men will be interested in trying harder themselves.
If you want to live in a bleak world where nothing you do will ever be good enough to achieve anything and you'll always be the ultimate loser for the rest of your miserable life, then perhaps you don't need redpill or blackpill, you need some anti-depressants.
There's a bunch of ways for women to get out of a prenup. The prenup option is off the table. Some women are starting to realize, that the subtlety mind game doesn't work anymore. I understand wanting plausible deniability on your side; but if women want things to change, they need to be more upfront and not subtle in communicating what they want. It's just easier for everyone involved....
With age,
Men find solitude delicious
Women find it *HORRIFYING.*
Depends on personality, I'm an Extrovert with an Introverted wife, I am horribly starved of companionship. My general advice is don't take an introverted wife, you'll live a horrible life.
@@-haclong2366 What's your solution to this? Why do you stay in this state, or with this woman?
You can be accountable for your bad decisions.
Generally true. I think I’d do okay, even as an extrovert, but I’ve not been truly isolated ever.
It doesn't come with age it's people's nature.
For men it IS solitude and for women it IS loneliness. Difference!
It ain't men that can't commit. And the data shows it.
"You gotta do it anyway" - um, no. No you don't. You can (and I have) completely opt out of the entire scene. After 30 Exs downstream - I am completely fine with living without one in my house, in close proximity. None of them get more than 90 days of attention. I will always choose freedom over bullsh*t. Without regrets, without remorse.
Bring me peace, quiet & freedom with sex, sammiches and fun - or sod the f*ck off.
1 in 5 women cheat? You mean only 1 in 5 do something that they consider to be cheating; wait until you realize what they *don’t* count as cheating. For many women, they don’t count it as cheating unless they have an ongoing physical and emotional relationship with someone else and won’t even count that if they think they’re entitled to that “escape” from their relationship with you.
It also doesn't count as cheating if they mentally 'give up on the relationship' a few minutes before fkkng..
Nor does count as cheating if it's not literal coitus with her orgasming..
BJ is loyalty.
Nor is it cheating if it's less than about two weeks before he finds out, or the breakup fight..
They also dont count times where she was angry at you, they dont count only blowjob, only kiss, only sex that is under 24h long and so on. Their justification is what cheating is is something special.
I have a lot of female friends and most of them have cheated!!!
@@trollhunter3944 yes, and also msot of mine did. Most of girls i know cheatex or actively cheat till to this day. And maybe i just dont know about others
Then out of 50 women only 10 have cheated hum must mean you all are meeting the wrong women
"1 out of 5 women cheat on their partners." I don't believe that for a moment. That is a self-reported statistic. Three of my six serious relationships involved an unfaithful woman. Two of those women admitted to it, and I found out about the third after the fact. And who is to say about the three that I presume to have been faithful? Maybe I just never caught them.
I can believe that this happens alo t more then some of these statistics that show other wise. There is actually a more unbiased stat that was taken on this. And it has been proven based on this finding that both genders cheat about the same rate. But I will definitely say that u can't really use this anecdotal expirence of 6 or 7 women did this to u to say either way. That being said i do have the same story. about 4 of 6 of the women I've been involved with have cheated on me. So I understand the viewpoint on that.
The statistic is a lie. I would venture it's 3 or 4 in 5 cheat in some form or fashion. The responses they gathered the data from are from women who are so detached they don't even care to admit it. You never hear from the ones that can't admit it to themselves or anyone else.
Women are shockingly likely to not consider it cheating if they arent caught, more so than men
Its in their nature
From a man that did initiate his divorce, if she's not good for you get it together and f*cking leave! Fair enough, I think it cost me about 5 years to get it together but hell, it is way better than stay in a relationship that is toxic (even if there are kids involved). Take matters in your own hand.
The juice is not worth the squeeze.
That's the truth for us average men. The cost of juice is too damn high, while others get it for free.
If I ever develop a time machine, I'm going to send Alexander and his videos back to the 1990s to educate a lot of lost and struggling men. Buckle up buttercup!
I appreciate the rational pep talk.
That said, I checked out of dating about 2 decades ago. I wasn't big on dating in the first place, and dates that I did have is when women asked me - which was flattering and baffling. Why would anyone want to date a science nerd?
Alex, your videos help put all the messy variables in some sort of perspective. At this stage the best I can do is learn, improve myself, and push some boundaries. I recently started seeing a councilor/life coach (which was one of the bravest things I've ever done), who zeroed in on a few areas: diagnosing me with Asperger's as a high-functioning autistic and never feeling worthy of another's affection. The Asperger's explains why understanding others has always been a such a struggle - I just don't comprehend social cues that come to others intuitively. The difficulty processing subtle signals and lack of experience also plays into not feeling worthy. Now I better understand the 'why', the next hurdle is how to proceed.
I am thankful for a wonderful extended family, amazing friends, and a successful career. I even became mayor of my town (as a scientist/engineer I love solving problems), recently stepping down to pursue other goals. My councilor notes that this shows resiliency and that even those with Asperger's can learn coping mechanisms and communication skills. Unfortunately I never figured out dating - there are just too many variables to sort out.
Keep up the good work.
I believe it's possible. I believe the lottery is possible to win, too.
Neither seem wise to treat as everyday beliefs though.
The lottery wasn't 4 in 5 chance last time I checked.
@@crazywiener11 you're special.
@@crazywiener11 4/5 was just the statistic of women who don't cheat, that doesn't meant they couldn't be horrible and toxic in some other ways
Believe what you wanna believe. Last time I checked I wasn't called Parrotshootist. This makes me special. And happy.
@@crazywiener11 that there's more than that stat involved? Sure, I will, because there is. You won't, apparently.