What is harder? A man watching a video tape of his girlfriend sleeping with another man or a woman watching a video tape of her boyfriend being violent to another woman? This question strikes to the heart of what each gender requires to feel safe and is my latest video on Patreon. Watch it here: www.patreon.com/posts/patreon-what-is-70312767
What do you mean by being violent to another woman ? I legit don't get it. If you meant literally then depends on how violently if it's gore and or a terrifying context then I can see it being harder to watch than a man watching a tape of her gf cheating. If violence terrifies women like when we were children. Then idk. Violence for me is very common for me. It doesn't even bothers me . Very extreme form does gives me stress but it's like am exciting stress like yes I get to be the hero .
Monogamy isn't the problem. Her cheating isn't the problem. Her leaving with all my hard earned assets and me having to pay her while another man sleeps with her in my house while I continue to pay her is the problem.
Randomwomen:"I should be grateful he's not cheating on me? "Alexander and ALL the men throughout history: "YES! That's exactly what you should be! " Because we have a biological drive ( like women have a biological drive to mate with their superior/ leader of the hierarchy/group she's a part of) to mate with multiple women. We don't like it, it's fu**in annoying when you're with a woman you love or are satisfied with, it's still there, like that friend with no car that always gets too drunk at the bar and you have to drive home and never offers to even pay you gas money, except you can stop driving him home, you can't leave the drive behind til you have had multiple women or your testosterone goes down a little.
💯🤔 Perfectly said✅ It's better to walk alone with purpose than to be with the wrong woman. Focus on purpose, stack 💰, travel the world 🌍 Home paid off 👌
I have the opposite problem, probably because I'm older. The thought of committing to a woman and her backstabbing me is problem... I have no problem having sex with same woman for the rest of my life, I just can't stand the thought of her someday turning on me or leaving me over some stupid ass reason.
I've been with my wife 20 years. We're pushing 50. You hit it on the head, my spiritual connection with my wife Trumps my primal urges. She gets me, we know each other deeply. That's an experience not many men get to have.
Did you ever have other options? Thats the real issue. You may be an unattractive man with no options. Not saying you are, just saying... The second problem is that all women have easy access to multiple sexual partners.
When you have the right one the primal urges are controllable. It isn't a perfect existence but a good partner has your back and gives you a feeling of roots and home. As someone who used to be on the road a lot, that matters.
@@marklittle8805 Two years ago I would have said the exact same thing. She was having a long-term affair and set up her own bank accounts, transferring a whole bunch of money and then told me out of the blue that she was leaving. We literally just got done watching a movie when she stated flatly "I'm leaving you". Mark, with all due respect, bro to bro, do a little digging and find out if she is up to anything. Women can be cunning and vicious.
That's why men must be keep his options open. But not all men can exercise that option. Its the top 5% men while the rest of men doesn't have sexual access or options. More men are lonelier than ever. If they get one woman they'll be quite happy. This generation will have the most single women and average men. Social anxiety, depression and loneliness will be sky high. Marriage will plummet and birth rates will take a nose dive. The dating market have been completely skewered in respect of women and a minority of men.
Loneliness is a choice and a state of mind. Women don't make you less lonely. Being alone doesn't make you lonely. Men who are lonely, choose to be lonely. There is a lot that can be done to prevent loneliness without being in a romantic relationship. Loneliness is the lack of human connection, not the lack of a romantic connection. Of course it gets easier with age and life experience. One becomes more confident in themselves, their own emotions, and the effort they have put in to other forms of relationships, friends and family pays off more as those relationships strengthen. What people who really feel lonely experience is a lack of ability to open up emotionally to other people.
I think Alex is missing a big problem for a lot of guys: It's easier to get random casual sex then finding a high quality single woman for a long term relationship. Waaaay easier.
@@enderwarlord3226 I know, I've seen it. I don't think it's hard to understand where or how to find them, it's jut that they are extremely rare, most of the time already taken and/or just not interested in you because they can have basically everyone.
If that ain't happening to you you're either very young or not high value enough of a man to attract high value women. Don't expect trashy women to be a good partner and don't expect high value women to come knocking on your door if you're a beta male.
@@vmurgeanu No, that's wrong on the whole plane. I left the game. Because I found out that having a relationship wasn't for me, and that 15 minutes of fun don't equate to a week of nagging. But I still enjoy watching people wrapping their head around modern women.
There needs to come a point in a man's sexual journey where empty, meaningless intercourse becomes overglorified masturbation - "masturbation +1". Upon that realization is where you discover the difference between the sexual impulse and a true connection and admiration for a woman. I can count on one hand the number of hook-up situations I've been in before I realized this. And I thank my lucky stars I figured it out early instead of coping and putting it out of my mind with more hedonistic gratification. The disadvantage is you can get lonely quick when you cut yourself off from female validation-but you know you'll be there anyway after a hook-up, like a bad comedown so it's actually a worse situation. You're trying to fill a meaning-shaped hole with sexual stimulation, but it's like another 300mg of caffeine trying to replace another 4 hours of sleep. It'll bite you eventually, and you learn to depend on it rather than truly getting underneath the problem.
hooking up is just the END GOAL. If you treat human communication as a sex to an end, you will be endlessly miserable. I've tons of failures or rejections i've been okay with it if i dont get laid after seeing a woman. Because i knew it's going to help me with my self expressions, and strengthening my frame.
🤔Deep, but my driver (biologically driven) is always conquering the gene pool and I acknowledge it's a simulation for me not a reality. I enjoy my connections however short-lived. Maybe it's the manner I gain new partners. It isn't at a bar or some other cesspool or dwelling for women willing to hook up. It hurts less with each passing one too because the separation is mainly like a dating situation rather than mutually shallow handshake. Different experience for me though I leave out a major factor in all this that could be the void I don't lack (you may guess but I won't say).
It's good to see you doing the video yourself again, Alex. Don't get me wrong, your friend is cool. However, for me, I enjoy watching your single videos. It feels like we're connecting in a way whilst I'm learning from you.
Wow, that was very well said. Looking back, I wish I could have come to this realization much earlier. I wasted important years of my life chasing new sexual experiences and woke up the next day worse than I did the night before. I would cover my shame with an ego stroke, by telling my boyz, that I got with that chick and also got with that chick. But deep down I was never satisfied. I look back on my past with shame, as I put my value on how many woman I could bed rather than doing the hard work and building myself up. In all honesty, the love of one quality woman is more important than 100 hoes!!! We as men have been fooled. We don't need to have many partners to be happy, the same way a woman doesn't need a "hot girl summer" to become a better woman, if anything she is just devaluing herself with every new man she gives herself to.
@masteriko136 you are so wrong! There are low vibrational beings and there are high vibrational beings and everything in-between those extremes. Some of those beings are male, Some are female. It's completely possible to find another being that matches your vibrational frequency. Not every woman is looking for leverage or destruction.
@@LevityBrevity it’s not about men or women, it’s about human nature. If someone knows you will never leave no matter what they do, they WILL treat you worse. It’s just the truth.
The way you described the experience of constantly trying to fill the urge but then realizing it can never be filled, and then growing bored because it's actually not fulfilling was incredibly easy to visualize and place myself in that frame of mind. Thanks for this!
Alexander is mistaking the Chad/player for the average man. The average guy would more than likely easily settle into a monogamous relationship with the first decent woman he meets. The woman on the other hand is a completely different story.
I think the average man will still want sexual variety, but his options are limited, some would be happy, some will be content and some will be miserable for not having what the 10% of men have.
@@sinetembaquza8630 Absolutely! The majority would be miserable. It’s like buying a car or a house. Very few people will actually ever purchase exactly what they want. They just have to settle for what is within their budget.
most of the time you are happy with something - till you have it. Than you want more. Many guys in the nightlife who go for it are taken men. The "unwanted" rarely even try cuz they already guess the result but average Joe (who might was an unwanted just some weeks ago) is now full of confidence cuz he got a gf/wife and will go for it. Should he fail its still ok (as long as his gf doesnt find out)
Someone on twitter (he has a scientific background) pointed out that women try to "curb" or "utilize" this hunt of men for different women by altering their own apperance. Even (or specially) in long term relationships it's women who try out different hairstyles, clothes, makeup, fashion etc. It's a way of giving men that feeling of novelty and thus circumventing the probability of a breakup or of him having an afffair.
There is also a nuance to what you said with regards to guilting a woman into having sex. For all the men called out by their partner for something like this and now feeling ashamed for it, just make sure that you weren't manipulated into doing this. From my experience, I know how some low-quality women build huge expectations and constantly tease their partner just so they can see him beg for sex afterward. They will then call you out for it and try to make you feel guilty just to get an edge over you. A good piece of advice is to constantly monitor your guilt and try to find out if it's justified or if your partner is manipulating you. A psychologist can also be of huge help in this sort of scenario. As always, thanks to Alexander for opening up the discussion to such important problems that men are facing.
In my opinion if shes saying youre trying to guilt her into sex, and youre having sex less than once a week then shes either wrong or lying. Sex is a critical part of 95% of romantic relationships. Whats actually happening is she was either lying about her attraction to you at the start of the relationship in order to trap you in the relationship, or she doesnt care about your needs anymore.
I'm not a relationship expert but I'd NEVER attempt to explain to a girlfriend that I'm finding her sexually boring. "Going gently" and "bringing up the biology" won't stop the plane crash that follows. In my non-expert opinion, guys should deal with their emotions silently, maintain their frame, and enjoy the ride while it lasts. There's a 90% likelihood she'll eventually bang dudes behind your back. Then you're off the hook to chase the next one and repeat the process. Let the woman screw things up through deception, rather than the man through gullible openness.
Exactly my thoughts. That's was absolutely terrible advice to put your cards on the table like that. Even if she doesn't openly resent you for it, she'll be out for payback for sure! If you need to discuss this, do it with a (male!!) friend or a psychologist.
I think this should not be a one woman decision. I think bringing it up should be dependent on the woman and how open her mind is. I’m a woman and this helps me better understand but if she was questioning why you looked at another girl when with her or something, perhaps that would be a time to explain. If you can talk about it with her and she could understand it, I would think that could bring you closer.
I think this should not be a one woman decision. I think bringing it up should be dependent on the woman and how open her mind is. I’m a woman and this helps me better understand but if she was questioning why you looked at another girl when with her or something, perhaps that would be a time to explain. If you can talk about it with her and she could understand it, I would think that could bring you closer.
I'm of the fervent view that even I get into relationship with a woman I'll flirt with other women. The intention is not to sleep with other women but keep my woman on her toes . Whatever women might say they like preselection and hates competition from other women. That's why rappers, actors and sports players have highest options because they've high social status, multiple streams of income and options. A woman will never be in relationship with a guy or dump him if she finds that her guy has been rejected by multiple women. Women operate in hive mind. Pick the winners and reject the losers.
At 8:14! I'm a 19 year old girl watching this and me and my partner discuss various things, we love geeking out. Talking about psychology, science, evolution, bringing up a subject like this, is a very normal thing for both of us as we feel safe and comfortable with eachother. If i notice this or something like this, I'm going to understand so much better what is going on. We've been seeing eachother (stayed exclusive 95% of the time) for a year and a half now and the attraction between us is just how it was on day 1. Thank you for breaking this down!
I must be an anomaly. I'm single and have never been interested in having sex outside a relationship. What stops me dating is living with a toxic woman again and divorce laws.
One minute in, and it doesn't apply to me. I'm not religious or something like that, it's just I'm not interested in sleeping around, I had chances which I didn't used. And I'm 27, I hope that at some point I will meet girl with same values, who Ideally like me kept her purity. so I finished watching, glad that Alexander mentioned psychological issues. I have one Azerbaijani friends who participates in this hookup culture, he has very big urge, as he said because of big totesterone level so just exercising helps him, otherwise it's hard to contain himself, it affects physically and mentally. When he turned 27 he was talking maybe about setting down, he had one time and another girls whom he liked, but it didn't took a long time to go back to square one. Quite indecisive I would say, but probably he didn't wanted to give up on his sexual options or maybe also his bonding capabilities went down. But he has his on morals also like not to sleep with his friends ex or go after virgins because he respects that.
@@ngatoh, nah, I'm not from USA, UK or something like that. Plus I've meet already some girls around my age who are virgins or haven't slept around, it's just we didn't connected that much, at least yet.
@@joress, there is good women. Some with whom I talked are from different countries, one in particular also said that wants "unspoiled one" or another said same thing about her female friends who were worried they won't find it such but they did. I can't understand if someone had couple of partners from long term relationships or they did a mistake, and that's understandable, that's why I said ideally. Plus, I just recently started to want to have someone, before I had to many issues of my own to deal with, so it's not like I was looking for a long time for "the one", so still I'm quite positive about it. As they say what you radiate that you will attract, just needs patience.
A non-religious person will never speak to you in terms of purity, it is absurd. It is difficult that, being you a non-religious person, you can find a woman of your age who is "pure". That term has a religious basis. I am 21 years old and I am a Christian and I have not yet had a partner. My non-religious friends have already done everything. I think your options narrow down a lot more if you rule out religious women. A non-religious person will tell you that "purity" in a woman is entirely a social construct tied to patriarchy. It's logic.
i'd imagine alot of it can be boiled down to alot ofguys being invisible to women when we're young, then after 30 these guys start getting success in dating , but "now" they're being told " okay time to get married and just pick 1!" and said guys are probably thinking " wait a minute ; i JUST got here! i want to actually ENJOY this for a while!"
Women are let into the candy store at 18. Can pick and choose any of the candy they want, eat it all day long if they want, then when they approach 30 they are told they need to pick a favourite candy and only have that one. This whole time the men are standing outside watching women eat all the candy they want and being told "you cant come in here until youre 30." They finally hit 30 and are allowed in, do you think theyre gonna be like "ok nerds rope is all ill ever want"? Or do you think its more likely that theyll try a bit of everything at least once?
When you can't commit it's not the right woman. Many men are so hardened due the harsh dating market that they can't let real trust unfold with a real solid band. The harsh dating market results in a few men can take it all what I hate but as long as social media and dating apps aren't regulated this situation will get worse and worse. Things will get narrow and more narrow and in the end the ability to bond gets totally lost. The problem here described is a result of pornography consumption but not from real selection opportunity. The 10% to 20% of men who really have that problem are a minority. At least that is my humble guess I could be wrong but why 50 years ago many ppl would bond until they died. And their quality of relationship and often life was way better.
58 with a 56 GF for a year. The fun is still there, that's not the problem. No desire to find someone else, I'm not a Chad. More worried about our physical health as we get older together. Not signing a contract with the state.
I'm an Eastern man, a religious one in that. I'm not in a committed relationship yet, and I'm talking to two women at once, both from my social circle, both are of the same age as mine, as friends. Both of the women are virgins. This way, I can talk, build up attraction, and/or test the quality of multiple women at once, so I can filter women more efficiently. And the best thing about this is that I can develop an abundance mindset and not be desperate. Now, I'm VERY monogamous and i will definitely only pick one, but I'm still 22, and I still have around 5-6 years before I settle.
Girls in the most conservative countries do things like reconstructing their hymens after having casual $ex, because their mothers take them to doctors. So don't be deceived by women, they always lie according to men standards.
Long-term relationships are not just about physical attraction or sex. The relationship should transcend to a mutually beneficial one in which you and your partner make each other the best version of each other in every facet of your lives, and help each other grow. That's a very different, more complex relationship and I'd argue much more fulfilling than one centered around physical attraction or sex.
Physical attraction lasted all through my LTRs, but I was gamma/blue pill. Actually, my most intense attraction was to a woman who I'd been with for 4 years, ...when she lost some weight right before we broke up.
This is honestly not good advice Alex. Unless you have a unicorn woman, the idea that you can present her this need you have for novelty in a logical fashion, thinking she will accept it, is a fantasy. You KNOW that women are going to be driven by their emotions, and not by logic or what's true when you bring this up. It's going to set off insecurity alarms in her, no matter what. Unavoidable.
You're so right!! But let's be honest, is this really a sentiment only shared by women? I think not. Plenty of men would be butt hurt if their woman expressed a need for novelty. This feeling, jealousy....it's a human experience. Not a gendered one.
@@LevityBrevity I think the better comparison would be that a woman expresses her need for her man to "provide", ie. make more money for her. That could spark fears in the man that she might be a gold digger, or that she cares more about what he can "provide" than about who he is as a guy. But the difference is, there's a world where she can express that need to a man, and he will be empathetic, understanding of her perspective and accepting. Maybe even motivated to go above and beyond and fulfill that role. There is no such world where a woman accepts it, even *if* she understands it. Because how they *feel* takes precedent. That was my point.
@@alexandergrace5350 She's a unicorn most likely. She's used to tackling these issues by now with how this is your job. Don't really think your personal experience is gonna help here.
When women commit, they might be thinking that it's "for ever", but in reality it's usually just "for now". When men commit, it's usually forever. The numbers of who choses to break up in monogamous hetero-cis relationships demonstrate this.
Nope it does not. Generally speaking men just dont have options - and if they have the divorce penalty might make them think twice. (Almost) Every man would act like Leonardo Di Caprio if he could
I disagree. The fear of being betrayed and financially destroyed by a commitment is way stronger than the fear of not being able to have intimacy with other women. I call BS on this.
I can't explain how much I appreciate these videos. I am student and don't have a lot of money but I hope at least like, comment and subscribe will help you and your channel to grow even more thanks to algorithm. Always high quality content with valid explanation so everyone can understand. Your channel is gem and I hope more man will find your videos!
I have the instinct to beat people senseless when they disrespect me but I tend not to act on my biological urge to do so. Just because you want to or could do something it doesn't mean you should.
Alexander mentions about prostitution and whether if you just want sex then go and see a prostitute. Surveys done on particular sex orientated websites and chat rooms show that in the breakdown the two biggest groups of men that frequent prostitutes is married men between 32 and 45 and men in their late 50's up into their 70's. The latter group has more single, widowed and divorced men plus a smaller group who are married and because of various reasons cannot have sex with partner. I believe that this industry is much larger than most people realise. It can be easier just to satisfy a sexual need rather that trying to meet or date a woman and not everyone wants or needs an emotional attachment.
There are very few women working in prostitution/escorting in 2022 because most of them figured out they can get simps to give them all the money they can via webcam, OnlyFans, or just telling simps to 'CashApp' them - they never need to touch a man they don't find hot ever again, and they still get paid well.
Used to have a girlfriend for 5 years, mostly we were doing good, but after some time, I wanted to go and explore so to say, because she was my first girlfriend...worst mistake of my life, I'm 31 now and single, and will remain so forever
I'm sure it's a struggle for a lot of men, but all people have their own struggles. This just seems like a way to take the responsibility away from yourself because of your instincts, when the truth is that if you committed to a relationship, you must keep your commitment. There will be times when it's hard, but you have to work on yourself to go through those times. Just imagine if your girlfriend or wife said "I've been dissatisfied with how much you provide. I still love you, but you should be grateful that I'm not dumping you for a richer man. I can't help it, it's just my nature. Just thought you should know" That's a manipulative monster, using your insecurities to keep you in line.
I agree with you, but to be fair there are a lot of women who will pressure their man to work longer hours, work harder for that promotion, take a second job, etc. to provide more without any thought at all to the impact it will have on his mental health and stress.
You realise that the majority of arguments in marriage are about finances right? Combine that with the fact that the breadwinner is typically the man or at the very least itll be relatively even and youll realise that wives and girlfriends do put pressure on men to earn more. Either because the man isnt ok with how much the woman is spending, or because the women isnt ok with how much she is able to spend.
Is it just me? I thought it was a good thing to last a long time before ejaculating? I’m saddened by the promiscuity of society and how it has destroyed the ability of many people to form families. In the days when most men and women were not having sex with so many partners, they feared more finding the wrong partner than giving up having sex with various partners. There is something very wrong with a society that promotes and encourages so much fruitless promiscuity, and it is terrible that people think that there is anything normal about the fear of giving up promiscuity when finding a mate.
womens wetness runs out, so zo sprak, at some point, so it can get too long and become uncomfortable to even painful for them. if you have trouble coming with them, they also take it as a personal insult that they can't make you come or that it takes so long for thrm to get you there. it's all ondovidual, though, so one woman might become too dty after ten minutes, the next can go for hours if she wants to.
@@nihilist7810 Maybe that’s why these guys have a lot of different partners. If you only last two minutes, you might not get a next time with the same woman, so you have to find another… Actually, I watched the video again. He said he thinks it was on mice. Men are not mice. We often get these invalid extrapolations from animal studies on this channel. I watch on 2x speed, so sometimes I miss the exact context of the studies they sight, which is dangerous.
I can absolutely 100% confirm and agree with everything you just said. I was married for 17 years and as soon as I was free I slept with so many girls that I have no idea how many. By the end I felt just as empty and came to the exact same conclusion that I would be happier with one really high quality woman. It took 4 years but I finally met someone that makes me very very happy and for that reason I have no interest in dating or sleeping around.
I remember having to take the time to think and to accept the fact that maybe I would never sleep with any other girl than my girlfriend. Even if my debt was huge. When it was registered by my brain, I was pretty sure that I will be loyal to her. But now I'm single again...
I'm not afraid of committing to one woman for life. I've done that multiple times already. I'm afraid of committing myself to yet another girl who will cheat on me after a year or two.
That's the least of my worries it's the thought of living in a homeless shelter for the rest of my life paying alimony child support for a house I can't afford and now I have to pay for an apartment on top of that yeah no thanks
Very bad advice regarding talking about this desire for other women with your wife Alex... This might be how many men feel but it's actually an unhealthy and morally wrong desire and a strong man will actively work against this desire without bringing emotional torment to his wife by telling her about this desire. In the same way, a woman who isn't interested in sex with her husband actually shouldn't distress her husband by telling him this but she should actively work against her lack of desire and have frequent sex with her husband even when she doesn't feel like it... This is a way a man can love his wife and a woman can love her husband without creating a damaging emotional rift throug forcing a conversation that neither will really understand...
That has never been an issue for me. Just 1 decent girlfriend was all i cared for. Never cared for hookup culture. It seems so meaningless to me. 1 decent relationship is better than several 1 night stands
How long have you been in a relationship? Even if you still really love the same girl for a long time, you will still notice that the excitement has gone down drastically over time right? It’s normal though
No, its the prospect that the woman can cut him off at any time for any reason and he still has to be responsible for the income coming in. He has no recourse for her obligation to him and if he divorces her, she can take his stuff and his kids.
@@FilipMacioszek not necessarily. She is immagining going back to dating market with 3 children. Hope after children leave house she will find your passion again.
I don't think guys are embarrassed of anything. You can talk to your girlfriend, but keep in mind she will tell you things you don't want to hear. For example, you are most likely not a woman's first choice. Are you ready to hear that truth? Too much honesty is not always the best.
This reminds me of how in Mexico there is a theory that men and women are more or less the same, and I don't mean equality but rather that one member of the opposite sex is about as good as the next. This sounds really harsh and is almost the opposite of the Anglo view that your spouse is special but I think it's closer to the truth. For example, the women would think why would they ever get a divorce, they would just be trading for another man. They aren't meaning it as they're all no good, rather what they're pointing out that the differences between her and her husband aren't going to change with a different husband, they're innate differences between men and women that will cause friction no matter who that person is. If you're constantly changing partners, they're still a member of the opposite sex and in the end, they are going to be more or less the same so leaving your spouse for another is not as good idea as it sounds like because she is just a girl and the next one is too and the one after that so it's getting at what you said in the end; there is no end to it, no satisfaction.
In these times i am more interested at the female side. Now that promiscuity for females is culturally pushed are there rearches that show that they are also changing biologically and psichologically and the Coolidge effect is rising up also for them?
Men not wanting to commit is mostly driven by the fear of losing everything in a seperation or divorce and by women excercising their hypergamy. This is just a trivial reason.
Women are wired for sexual novelty too and evolution has a very good reason to select positively for this. What is the purpose of sexual reproduction? It's called genetic variability. We trade speed and efficiency in reproduction (cloning) for better survival against diseases and environmental factors (sex & gene shuffling). The fact that the overwhelming majority of complex organisms reproduce sexually is a testament that sex is a very big deal. Less complex organism who clone themselves achieve genetic variability by faster reproduction and mutations. But species with more genetic variability are better positioned to survive down the line than species with less genetic variability. The point is that it would be biologically more beneficial for a woman to have many children from multiple men than to have many children from the same man. This would ensure greater genetic variability in the offspring and greater chance for survival in the long run. While one man having children with lots and lots of women like in the example of Genghis Khan is good for that specific man but can also lead to the loss of genetic variability in the community or the species. Some societies recognize this as a bad outcome and for example set a limit on how many children a single sperm donor can father.
Happy to find your content! As a sixty something male psycho-therapist I have a suggestion, replace "high quality women" with "Higher developed women". The quality of anyone must be seen in their current state of evolution and in contrast to who they are engaging with in relationship. The nature of life is to grow, we are all doing it, like it like it or not. Sometimes we do it well and sometimes rather poorly. Keep up the good work, you and all your peers! There is hope for future generations. 😊 Bret LMSW
I don't have an answer for either the man or the woman. I'm pretty sure it'd be bad either way. I have less of a problem with quantity. I'm more worried that I'll get bored of a woman because she is not smart enough to understand me on an intellectual level. Autism, cyclothymia, and what ever genes that make extremely overwhelmingly smart people run in my veins. My cousin won Florida's smartest kid award for a few years. My grandfather is a master philanthropist with multiple business ventures. My father is a radio engineer and a car fabrication tech. I'm afraid to settle down and be stuck with a girl who's not exactly dumb, but just not smart enough. Im not sure I know what to do. I've learned a lot on this channel, but this question plagues me constantly.
Even as a kid I'd see the moms of cute girls and realize what they were quickly going to turn into. 5'6" 180 with a contrived, short hair cut, waddling around like a resentful and atrophied ex-powerlifter. It was always clear that young female beauty is nature's desperate attempt to trap a man into serving her and her brood for life, perpetuating the pathetic misery for yet another generation. Biology runs the show. It takes a tremendous amount of objectivity to avoid falling for Mother Nature's tricks and even more difficult mastering a fulfilling lifestyle should one have succeeded in avoiding it.
The drive for novelty does indeed come a lot from pron, and a major part of the remedy is discipline and cutting right back or going cold turkey entirely. Over time you'll be more and more happy to channel the urges into your partner.
Great video, probably a topic a lot of men need to talk about. I’m glad you bring up that it isn’t all biological and that there is a psychological element because so many men who bring this up only use the biological explanation and I believe that is because they don’t want to talk about their feelings and esteem, they just want a logical explanation
I just can't relate. I only want one. I don't care if she is ugly or fat either. If I have to, I can close my eyes or turn off the lights. My ex was overweight and I helped her lose it, and I taught her to drive a car because her parents failed at raising her. Suddenly when she could drive and was fit, her parents started to finally show her love and she listened to them and she started to cheat on me and gaslight me about it. I didn't realize it at first... then she was doing cocaine... going to raves... and I think she aborted our baby unless it wasn't even mine to begin with. Then I divorced her and she literally brought a man to the house right in the middle of the whole divorce process and while I was kicking him out, she started to babble on about how she was "just trying to get me to realize what I was missing" or something, which I guess makes sense to some women... so she is saying she'd love me more if I cheated and disrespected and hit her the way she did to me. I have met a lot of women like that who want men to be "a little controlling" or something... which is just a weapon that she can use on your later. I can't do that. I'd rather be single than be with a woman I have to "manage". There is too much opportunity and too much pressure for women to do the wrong thing. Her parents, her friends, her male or female boss, her ex, Cosmopolitan magazine, etc. all will tell her to disrespect you and cheat on you. At this point, if the woman isn't completely covered including her hair, she shuns social media, never wears makeup literally ever and has hobbies aside from whiteclaw, netflix and the basic things... I don't want her. I'm tall. Fit... I have a house with land, car and a decent enough job. I consider myself handsome, and I have been told I am. I can get a girlfriend, but I can't find one that is worth my time. I know what this means. I'm going to be single forever. Thats better than trying, and even better than "succeeding" with one of these women only to get trashed later because I don't want to treat her poorly. I consider myself at fault for giving her a chance to begin with. It knew it was too good to be true. The most hurtful thing about modern women in my opinion is that if I were an abuser or I only called her for a slow Tuesday, I would have more success. I don't want that. I want a family and a helper for that purpose. If I can't have that, a woman is useless to me unless we share a hobby maybe and we can be very distant friends... maybe.
Reminds me of a comic video with a couple in bed with the woman citing the fact that a bull can 'do it' 20 times in a day. The man replies "Yes, but not with the same old cow he's been with for years."
A lot of you men are full of it or lacking sexual marketplace value. Your mindset is tuned to this frequency. When you set out to attract a woman, you create charisma/personality that would attract the partner you want. That in turn attracts several woman, not just one. Me and all my close male friends had to get over the hurdle and re adjust our mindset to cater to one and only one woman. Shifting gears. Great video.
Hiring Pr0s is the way to go. Just no hussle involved. No drama. And cheaper than all other options too. With guaranteed results and whatever you want in that moment.
I was able to commit to one woman I can still do it, but I have like severe trust issues. Can't find a high quality woman , and it's so risky that it terrifies to commit to a wrong woman. Like even if I find a high quality woman , she can do everything but won't be able to get rid of my trust issues. I will still doubt her, living in paranoia. I would prefer to stay single or indulge casual clapping. But then again I despise low quality women so I don't even wanna casually clap. Also I don't want to harm an innocent woman just because I have severe trust issues.
I personally don't care about a "high quality" woman. I just want a reasonable person that you can spend time with, without going crazy. If she has a healthy body and a personally that makes you laugh and that you can make laugh then I would be happy. But I guess those are just as rare aren't they?
@@XGoldenPhoenixX no matter what I try the anxiety that comes with it never goes away I would much rather live without anxiety than with I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it's chronic. . I actually like the single lifestyle, I feel free .
I know dating's a nightmare for a guy like me but I also knew I'd be happier single living my own life than gradually having less and less independence as she was becoming more controlling and demanding. Plus she was 7 years older with a daughter. I choose my own life or a shared one, not to be a pet.
I’m a woman, but I’d also rather be single, happy, and independent than miserable with someone that treats me like a pet or back burner. Being single these past nine years has really helped me develop on a psychological (and spiritual) level, and I’m very content with the way that my life has turned out so far.
Except for the discussion with girlfriend about Coolidge effect, spot on video. I too have fixed mindset of fancy life with many beautiful women available when in need, but have finally started to realize that it’s just a mirage.
I’m 40 and I’ve never wanted to get married because I can’t just be with one woman. Monogamy has always been extremely hard for me. No matter how hot the woman is I still get tired of sleeping with her. Feminism has been awesome for me. It’s easier now than ever to get laid with zero attachment. I’ve had monogamist relationships and I’ve been unhappy the entire time. It’s sucks, I’d like to be happy with one woman but it hasn’t happened yet.
12:00 then sleep with s*x workers. If a monogamous relationship is not an ideal for you, sleep around with escorts and camgirls. Have a new one when you feel like it. You’ll sleep with hundreds if you have the money. And after you do that come back to me and tell me about the gaping hole in your love life. How all these girls you sleep with and have no connection with is meaningless. You’ll realize the pride and source of happiness is a healthy family. Only you’re capable of fostering one. Otherwise it’ll crumble with no care. And either way you’ll be alone. Pressures on. But you’re 40. I’m 25. Our priorities are different.
@@g7-farrer s*x workers don’t provide validation of a man’s sexual prowess, so they don’t fulfill the psychological needs of a man. Men have biologically evolved to plant their seed into as many women as possible; thus, our ability to pair bond isn’t as affected as a woman’s. But the more men a woman has slept with definitely affects her ability to pair bond.
Just because of increased ejaculation time for the same female compared to different females doesn't mean they are not interested in the same female anymore compared to different females, please understand that.
@@get_spanked240 Yes, that is what even I said in my another comment here. Now it is kind of a common science that women take longer to cum than men and it is natural and maybe a male's ability to keep up with a female's desire of lasting longer in bed is what keeps the same female for a longer time in their relationship and life, otherwise she would have left him too early and the male eventually have no choice to switch to a different partner and the reason behind different females and lasting shorter with them is that males don't care of keeping all women for a long term, since one way or the other they are going to get new girls and they didn't love the different females as such of variety, seems like lasting longer is a sign of love. Maybe it is animal nature to not keep off of their instincts to cum fast with different females as they get new one and king of a habit forming there compared to human males as animals are more driven by their instincts than human beings despite one gets different partner or same partner to last long or not. May be human beings even despite of having different partners can love different women for the time being at least suppressing their instincts or urges to cum faster with different females compared to animals.
Or, this may even be true that is men that who switch to different females for sex is not because of their own choice but a lack of choice since they can't keep any woman for a long term because of their inability to last long in bed and women through their different choice leaves them for other men that can last long.
I hope you are still reading the comments Alexander, you are completely right about prostitution, people really are looking for validation and status, not just pleasure. An important realization for me, and I mean to say this to be productive, is women who sleep around have more in common with men who pay for it than they have differences. It is just pleasure for it's own sake with someone who wouldn't commit to you. Telling women this is empowering and good for them would be like telling men the best thing for them is to visit a pro. I guess some people can do it and be happy, but it clearly isn't the best thing for most people.
ALWAYS love yourself and make sure you're in good shape mentally and somewhat physically before entering in a relationship...otherwise you will put alot of burden and hardship on your partner and the relationship
Monogamy does not come naturally to men. We are primates and primates are not monogamous. But .... we already do many things that are not natural: shaving, sitting behind a desk, driving a car, etc. We have to (and can) learn to be monogamous. Our love for the woman in our lives should direct us toward monogamy and innocent flirting remedies that "psychological" need Alexander is talking about.
9 video's? Hah! At least 40 vids, then going back to whichever excited me most... NOT possible IRL (unless you are mega-rich or a celebrity). Normal is to "view" >20 different women and stop when you find the one that excites you AT THAT MOMENT, or picking the one that excites you most. Then doing it all over again the next day. Monogamy is more about "love" or "stability" and working through life together (even if you've grown apart, you still complement each other dealing with life's difficulties). The most recent LAWS created in society are counter-intuitive to success in life for both sexes. They have such a "chilling effect" on men that they are avoiding those laws by staying single or sleeping around and denying/hurting women (if they can get away with it and the law doesn't interject itself in their lives). And women are getting men's resources WITHOUT having to do anything to EARN his commitment/resources, they are being rewarded for LYING, so they are free to destroy their lives with the option of making false accusations in the future if they need help getting through life later on (because they squandered their early life being hedonistic and making mistakes). Thankfully GOOD men are bowing out of this "lifestyle", and the women are left screaming/complaining about it (online to the void). If a GOOD man can't find a GOOD woman he turns his back on ALL women, leading to a lot of (young) men being indifferent to women's issues.
I think this is mostly for the men that fear to lose too much interest in their girlfriend or potential girlfriend in the future which I don’t believe is that big of a percentage but it’s good to talk about
Leo is just a man who doesn't want a relationship. He has the money to have fun his whole life. He is a horrible example of what a man who wants a relationship needs to be like. Also the women he dates know they are just with him for a short time. They ain't dumb. The also do not want a relationship while being with him, just the fun life style for a few years/months. You covering people who wanna act like kids.
@@maidende8280 That's the point. Most people are immature. These people are not meant to have succesfull relationships. So it's like getting upset when you trying to domesticate a lion tthat just thinks of killing u alll the time
I don’t think this video is just towards men that want to have fun. It’s just about men that are scared to loose too much attraction towards those they fall in love with
@@iamalexwolf If you choose a woman based on looks like Leo, all you can ever do is fall out of attraction. Again like i said, he is trying to make an argument for someone who never intends to be in a relationship. He doesn't fall out of attraction, he gets bored. He only wants to F them, not be with them and magically falls out of love.
I really doubt this is the primary problem. Most men have trouble getting sex on a regular basis. What most men fear is that he'll commit and the sex dries up and stops altogether.
It's nice to see you getting back to more scientific content, less conversational of your or Matt's past experiences, or responses to videos women posted.
Monogamy allows you to focus all your energy in being more productive and creative. Spend your 20s conquering and while building your kingdom. Then settle down and focus on reaching new heights.
When I tell my friends that I've decided relationships with women are more work than they are worth, I am met with backlash and disappointment. I hate to say it, but that response just confirms for me that those things I notice are being noticed by them too, but they are in denial as to what it means for their future. I can see the warning signs of failure in their relationships that ultimately led to the end of my marriage. But I don't dare mention that to them. Regardless, seeing these failures in their relationships has only solidified my position of not wanting a relationship with a woman. The very thing that I want out of a longterm relationship is something that will end up destroying any intimate relationship I could have with a woman. Despite what we are typically advised to practice in our intimate relationships, allowing women in on everything we think about as intellectual men WILL cause a woman to lose respect for you and then leave you. That one thing is full and open honesty. And if I can't talk about the underlying causes of the animosity within my relationship with the person I am in the relationship with, then that relationship is not valuable to me. I can't be intellectually free with that person, and I do not wish to seek out relationships with people like that. If I can't feel completely comfortable with someone such that I can talk about any subject with them and not have to worry about the consequences of such conversation, then no thank you, I'll pass. It only highlights the fact that humans are just animals responding to biological queues, which is depressing and makes me question the underlying truth that is responsible for my partner's devotion. If any of what I just said becomes the subject of conversation within your hetero relationship, your relationship's days are numbered. What I don't know is if this is a problem in gay male relationships. I wouldn't think so, but perhaps the trait that makes a man prefer other men also instills the inability to accept biological reasoning as well. I don't know, but I would be interested to hear from any gay men who have contemplated this.
When someone cant handle the opinions of another (provided those opinions dont lead to direct harm to others), its likely because theyve had those same thoughts but pushed them away out of fear
One Woman forever is truly special and desirable IF YOUR MAN ENOUGH ! The desire drive is misinterpreted .... Why must food appetite be controlled ? Obviously to avoid many illnesses.. Diet is Destiny .. Lack of discipline is INFANTILE..Your balls are not the MEASURE of A Worthwhile Life...I see here AND everywhere else,,ON THIS TOPIC , total omission of transmission of REAL DISEASE ... NO ONE LIKES to talk about this BUT it frames question in realty ...Avoiding this is DELUSIONAL AND CAN NEVER HAVE A GOOD OUTCOME.... GREAT show ! You cover Important issues, except for avoiding disease realty ..
The problem is, that if you're in a committed relationship, you as a man are obligated to provide for your woman. It is continuous and is uninterupted, specially, if you're married and have children. It is guaranteed for the woman, that you live up to your end of the bargain, even by law in most countries. However, having sex on a regular basis is never guaranteed. The woman is not obligated to live up to her end of the bargain, it is up to her whims if she wants to or not. How do you reconcile this difference? In such cases, I don't blame the man to look for sex outside of the marriage/relationship, because it satisfies his need, that is not met in the committed relationship he is in, and he doesn't want to end the relationship, in order to prevent from causing more hurt (to children, financial loss on his part etc.)
![How to Lie Your Way to $34 Billion [Nikola Motors Fraud]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/88fWUZhYb04/mqdefault.jpg)
![How to Lie Your Way to $34 Billion [Nikola Motors Fraud]](/img/tr.png)
What is harder? A man watching a video tape of his girlfriend sleeping with another man or a woman watching a video tape of her boyfriend being violent to another woman?
This question strikes to the heart of what each gender requires to feel safe and is my latest video on Patreon. Watch it here: www.patreon.com/posts/patreon-what-is-70312767
It was probably in self-defense. But that's just my experience.
Can you link the studies used? Love your work
What do you mean by being violent to another woman ? I legit don't get it.
If you meant literally then depends on how violently if it's gore and or a terrifying context then I can see it being harder to watch than a man watching a tape of her gf cheating.
If violence terrifies women like when we were children. Then idk.
Violence for me is very common for me. It doesn't even bothers me . Very extreme form does gives me stress but it's like am exciting stress like yes I get to be the hero .
Monogamy isn't the problem. Her cheating isn't the problem. Her leaving with all my hard earned assets and me having to pay her while another man sleeps with her in my house while I continue to pay her is the problem.
Randomwomen:"I should be grateful he's not cheating on me? "Alexander and ALL the men throughout history: "YES! That's exactly what you should be! " Because we have a biological drive ( like women have a biological drive to mate with their superior/ leader of the hierarchy/group she's a part of) to mate with multiple women. We don't like it, it's fu**in annoying when you're with a woman you love or are satisfied with, it's still there, like that friend with no car that always gets too drunk at the bar and you have to drive home and never offers to even pay you gas money, except you can stop driving him home, you can't leave the drive behind til you have had multiple women or your testosterone goes down a little.
Never been scared of being with one woman, more so being stuck with the wrong woman.
💯🤔 Perfectly said✅
It's better to walk alone with purpose than to be with the wrong woman. Focus on purpose, stack 💰, travel the world 🌍 Home paid off 👌
The video / graph doesn't explain hypergamy and scared of being divorced, loosing your children.
That and being falsely accused of something. Fortunately my own mother warned me of this so never been in that position.
@@nikz6297 Exactly. The core of the problem.
This
I have the opposite problem, probably because I'm older. The thought of committing to a woman and her backstabbing me is problem... I have no problem having sex with same woman for the rest of my life, I just can't stand the thought of her someday turning on me or leaving me over some stupid ass reason.
I am of the same view. Sex with one woman ain't the problem if I've family. But she taking everything and leaving me destitute is a huge one.
Same man
Amen.
Yes, me too. Commitment means vulnerability.
💯💯💯💯💯💯
I've been with my wife 20 years. We're pushing 50. You hit it on the head, my spiritual connection with my wife Trumps my primal urges. She gets me, we know each other deeply. That's an experience not many men get to have.
I love that!! 💕💕
Did you ever have other options? Thats the real issue. You may be an unattractive man with no options. Not saying you are, just saying... The second problem is that all women have easy access to multiple sexual partners.
When you have the right one the primal urges are controllable. It isn't a perfect existence but a good partner has your back and gives you a feeling of roots and home. As someone who used to be on the road a lot, that matters.
this is next step in the „primal” urges. a healthy man in a good relationship doesnt seek anything else
It capitalized Trump 😂 epic
Though physical attraction may decline, knowing someone always has your back and wants the best for you is something else altogether worth pursuing.
that is what your mates are for, NOT women
Until she stabs you in the back without any warning.
The tricky part is finding that woman who is genuine. My wife is, thank god.
@@marklittle8805 Two years ago I would have said the exact same thing. She was having a long-term affair and set up her own bank accounts, transferring a whole bunch of money and then told me out of the blue that she was leaving. We literally just got done watching a movie when she stated flatly "I'm leaving you".
Mark, with all due respect, bro to bro, do a little digging and find out if she is up to anything. Women can be cunning and vicious.
You just described men (and your mom). Women are not like that.
That's why men must be keep his options open. But not all men can exercise that option. Its the top 5% men while the rest of men doesn't have sexual access or options. More men are lonelier than ever. If they get one woman they'll be quite happy. This generation will have the most single women and average men. Social anxiety, depression and loneliness will be sky high. Marriage will plummet and birth rates will take a nose dive. The dating market have been completely skewered in respect of women and a minority of men.
Men who keep their options open will most likely end up alone.
Loneliness is a choice and a state of mind. Women don't make you less lonely. Being alone doesn't make you lonely. Men who are lonely, choose to be lonely. There is a lot that can be done to prevent loneliness without being in a romantic relationship. Loneliness is the lack of human connection, not the lack of a romantic connection. Of course it gets easier with age and life experience. One becomes more confident in themselves, their own emotions, and the effort they have put in to other forms of relationships, friends and family pays off more as those relationships strengthen. What people who really feel lonely experience is a lack of ability to open up emotionally to other people.
Perfect breakdown
Only Chad wins
@@eddieliusa makes sense. It's the survival of the fittest
I think Alex is missing a big problem for a lot of guys: It's easier to get random casual sex then finding a high quality single woman for a long term relationship. Waaaay easier.
Has already a video on that. I think it's called "where to find high quality women". If it's not, try checking the intex on his patreon (for free)
Agree
And T levels are lower now.
@@enderwarlord3226 I know, I've seen it. I don't think it's hard to understand where or how to find them, it's jut that they are extremely rare, most of the time already taken and/or just not interested in you because they can have basically everyone.
@@maidende8280 what do you mean by that?
A functional relationship with a woman who treats you right and sleeps with you?
What are we, back in the '90s?
I don't know about you, but I hate strong countries and healthy families.
We’re exactly where we’re meant to be
It's out there man! Believe it, it's happening all around you right now. People living, loving and making love!!
If that ain't happening to you you're either very young or not high value enough of a man to attract high value women. Don't expect trashy women to be a good partner and don't expect high value women to come knocking on your door if you're a beta male.
@@vmurgeanu No, that's wrong on the whole plane.
I left the game. Because I found out that having a relationship wasn't for me, and that 15 minutes of fun don't equate to a week of nagging.
But I still enjoy watching people wrapping their head around modern women.
There needs to come a point in a man's sexual journey where empty, meaningless intercourse becomes overglorified masturbation - "masturbation +1". Upon that realization is where you discover the difference between the sexual impulse and a true connection and admiration for a woman. I can count on one hand the number of hook-up situations I've been in before I realized this. And I thank my lucky stars I figured it out early instead of coping and putting it out of my mind with more hedonistic gratification. The disadvantage is you can get lonely quick when you cut yourself off from female validation-but you know you'll be there anyway after a hook-up, like a bad comedown so it's actually a worse situation. You're trying to fill a meaning-shaped hole with sexual stimulation, but it's like another 300mg of caffeine trying to replace another 4 hours of sleep. It'll bite you eventually, and you learn to depend on it rather than truly getting underneath the problem.
hooking up is just the END GOAL. If you treat human communication as a sex to an end, you will be endlessly miserable. I've tons of failures or rejections i've been okay with it if i dont get laid after seeing a woman. Because i knew it's going to help me with my self expressions, and strengthening my frame.
yawn
🤔Deep, but my driver (biologically driven) is always conquering the gene pool and I acknowledge it's a simulation for me not a reality. I enjoy my connections however short-lived. Maybe it's the manner I gain new partners. It isn't at a bar or some other cesspool or dwelling for women willing to hook up. It hurts less with each passing one too because the separation is mainly like a dating situation rather than mutually shallow handshake. Different experience for me though I leave out a major factor in all this that could be the void I don't lack (you may guess but I won't say).
This is the kind of man women want to marry
Next time a woman tell’s you “you lasted a long time” turn around and tell her “I’m not that attracted to you”.
You have chosen: Violence! 🤣🤣🤣
Or just "thanks number 5" 😆
…well, it’s an idea I suppose 🤣!
It's good to see you doing the video yourself again, Alex. Don't get me wrong, your friend is cool. However, for me, I enjoy watching your single videos. It feels like we're connecting in a way whilst I'm learning from you.
This
Wow, that was very well said. Looking back, I wish I could have come to this realization much earlier. I wasted important years of my life chasing new sexual experiences and woke up the next day worse than I did the night before. I would cover my shame with an ego stroke, by telling my boyz, that I got with that chick and also got with that chick. But deep down I was never satisfied. I look back on my past with shame, as I put my value on how many woman I could bed rather than doing the hard work and building myself up.
In all honesty, the love of one quality woman is more important than 100 hoes!!! We as men have been fooled. We don't need to have many partners to be happy, the same way a woman doesn't need a "hot girl summer" to become a better woman, if anything she is just devaluing herself with every new man she gives herself to.
congrats on changing the way you think.
Yes my brotha.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@masteriko136 you are so wrong! There are low vibrational beings and there are high vibrational beings and everything in-between those extremes. Some of those beings are male, Some are female. It's completely possible to find another being that matches your vibrational frequency.
Not every woman is looking for leverage or destruction.
@@LevityBrevity it’s not about men or women, it’s about human nature. If someone knows you will never leave no matter what they do, they WILL treat you worse. It’s just the truth.
The way you described the experience of constantly trying to fill the urge but then realizing it can never be filled, and then growing bored because it's actually not fulfilling was incredibly easy to visualize and place myself in that frame of mind. Thanks for this!
Alexander is mistaking the Chad/player for the average man. The average guy would more than likely easily settle into a monogamous relationship with the first decent woman he meets. The woman on the other hand is a completely different story.
I think the average man will still want sexual variety, but his options are limited, some would be happy, some will be content and some will be miserable for not having what the 10% of men have.
@@sinetembaquza8630 then he's a wannabe player and not the kind of guy I'm referring to.
@@sinetembaquza8630 Absolutely! The majority would be miserable. It’s like buying a car or a house. Very few people will actually ever purchase exactly what they want. They just have to settle for what is within their budget.
@@sinetembaquza8630 more like the 1% of men
most of the time you are happy with something - till you have it. Than you want more.
Many guys in the nightlife who go for it are taken men. The "unwanted" rarely even try cuz they already guess the result but average Joe (who might was an unwanted just some weeks ago) is now full of confidence cuz he got a gf/wife and will go for it. Should he fail its still ok (as long as his gf doesnt find out)
Someone on twitter (he has a scientific background) pointed out that women try to "curb" or "utilize" this hunt of men for different women by altering their own apperance.
Even (or specially) in long term relationships it's women who try out different hairstyles, clothes, makeup, fashion etc.
It's a way of giving men that feeling of novelty and thus circumventing the probability of a breakup or of him having an afffair.
Twitter is always the best of all sources.
There is also a nuance to what you said with regards to guilting a woman into having sex. For all the men called out by their partner for something like this and now feeling ashamed for it, just make sure that you weren't manipulated into doing this. From my experience, I know how some low-quality women build huge expectations and constantly tease their partner just so they can see him beg for sex afterward. They will then call you out for it and try to make you feel guilty just to get an edge over you. A good piece of advice is to constantly monitor your guilt and try to find out if it's justified or if your partner is manipulating you. A psychologist can also be of huge help in this sort of scenario. As always, thanks to Alexander for opening up the discussion to such important problems that men are facing.
In my opinion if shes saying youre trying to guilt her into sex, and youre having sex less than once a week then shes either wrong or lying. Sex is a critical part of 95% of romantic relationships. Whats actually happening is she was either lying about her attraction to you at the start of the relationship in order to trap you in the relationship, or she doesnt care about your needs anymore.
I'm not a relationship expert but I'd NEVER attempt to explain to a girlfriend that I'm finding her sexually boring. "Going gently" and "bringing up the biology" won't stop the plane crash that follows. In my non-expert opinion, guys should deal with their emotions silently, maintain their frame, and enjoy the ride while it lasts. There's a 90% likelihood she'll eventually bang dudes behind your back. Then you're off the hook to chase the next one and repeat the process. Let the woman screw things up through deception, rather than the man through gullible openness.
Exactly my thoughts. That's was absolutely terrible advice to put your cards on the table like that. Even if she doesn't openly resent you for it, she'll be out for payback for sure!
If you need to discuss this, do it with a (male!!) friend or a psychologist.
I think this should not be a one woman decision. I think bringing it up should be dependent on the woman and how open her mind is. I’m a woman and this helps me better understand but if she was questioning why you looked at another girl when with her or something, perhaps that would be a time to explain. If you can talk about it with her and she could understand it, I would think that could bring you closer.
I think this should not be a one woman decision. I think bringing it up should be dependent on the woman and how open her mind is. I’m a woman and this helps me better understand but if she was questioning why you looked at another girl when with her or something, perhaps that would be a time to explain. If you can talk about it with her and she could understand it, I would think that could bring you closer.
Only an idiot would tell the girlfriend/wife that has just got to be the stupidest thing in the world 😂🤣😂🤣😂
I'm of the fervent view that even I get into relationship with a woman I'll flirt with other women. The intention is not to sleep with other women but keep my woman on her toes . Whatever women might say they like preselection and hates competition from other women. That's why rappers, actors and sports players have highest options because they've high social status, multiple streams of income and options. A woman will never be in relationship with a guy or dump him if she finds that her guy has been rejected by multiple women. Women operate in hive mind. Pick the winners and reject the losers.
At 8:14! I'm a 19 year old girl watching this and me and my partner discuss various things, we love geeking out. Talking about psychology, science, evolution, bringing up a subject like this, is a very normal thing for both of us as we feel safe and comfortable with eachother. If i notice this or something like this, I'm going to understand so much better what is going on. We've been seeing eachother (stayed exclusive 95% of the time) for a year and a half now and the attraction between us is just how it was on day 1. Thank you for breaking this down!
95% of the time? so you give him consent to sleep with other women? or you take a break every now and again?
@@TheGodLycan we broke up in between for 3 months
@@Frictionfriction You are 19. You have no clue. Come back here when you are 40.
@@Frictionfriction yea your just an infant. You will learn some life experience
You just opened the gateway to something bad and you don’t even know it yet girl…good luck to you
I must be an anomaly. I'm single and have never been interested in having sex outside a relationship. What stops me dating is living with a toxic woman again and divorce laws.
We used to be able to bond, marry and stay married for decades. We could control ourselves then, we have no excuse.
This is for both men and women.
One minute in, and it doesn't apply to me. I'm not religious or something like that, it's just I'm not interested in sleeping around, I had chances which I didn't used. And I'm 27, I hope that at some point I will meet girl with same values, who Ideally like me kept her purity.
so I finished watching, glad that Alexander mentioned psychological issues. I have one Azerbaijani friends who participates in this hookup culture, he has very big urge, as he said because of big totesterone level so just exercising helps him, otherwise it's hard to contain himself, it affects physically and mentally. When he turned 27 he was talking maybe about setting down, he had one time and another girls whom he liked, but it didn't took a long time to go back to square one. Quite indecisive I would say, but probably he didn't wanted to give up on his sexual options or maybe also his bonding capabilities went down. But he has his on morals also like not to sleep with his friends ex or go after virgins because he respects that.
Good luck finding that 🦄. 😀
@@ngatoh, nah, I'm not from USA, UK or something like that. Plus I've meet already some girls around my age who are virgins or haven't slept around, it's just we didn't connected that much, at least yet.
I hope that you find what you’re looking for.
@@joress, there is good women. Some with whom I talked are from different countries, one in particular also said that wants "unspoiled one" or another said same thing about her female friends who were worried they won't find it such but they did. I can't understand if someone had couple of partners from long term relationships or they did a mistake, and that's understandable, that's why I said ideally. Plus, I just recently started to want to have someone, before I had to many issues of my own to deal with, so it's not like I was looking for a long time for "the one", so still I'm quite positive about it. As they say what you radiate that you will attract, just needs patience.
A non-religious person will never speak to you in terms of purity, it is absurd.
It is difficult that, being you a non-religious person, you can find a woman of your age who is "pure". That term has a religious basis. I am 21 years old and I am a Christian and I have not yet had a partner. My non-religious friends have already done everything. I think your options narrow down a lot more if you rule out religious women. A non-religious person will tell you that "purity" in a woman is entirely a social construct tied to patriarchy. It's logic.
i'd imagine alot of it can be boiled down to alot ofguys being invisible to women when we're young, then after 30 these guys start getting success in dating , but "now" they're being told " okay time to get married and just pick 1!" and said guys are probably thinking " wait a minute ; i JUST got here! i want to actually ENJOY this for a while!"
Makes sense
BINGO
Women are let into the candy store at 18. Can pick and choose any of the candy they want, eat it all day long if they want, then when they approach 30 they are told they need to pick a favourite candy and only have that one. This whole time the men are standing outside watching women eat all the candy they want and being told "you cant come in here until youre 30." They finally hit 30 and are allowed in, do you think theyre gonna be like "ok nerds rope is all ill ever want"? Or do you think its more likely that theyll try a bit of everything at least once?
When you can't commit it's not the right woman. Many men are so hardened due the harsh dating market that they can't let real trust unfold with a real solid band. The harsh dating market results in a few men can take it all what I hate but as long as social media and dating apps aren't regulated this situation will get worse and worse. Things will get narrow and more narrow and in the end the ability to bond gets totally lost. The problem here described is a result of pornography consumption but not from real selection opportunity. The 10% to 20% of men who really have that problem are a minority. At least that is my humble guess I could be wrong but why 50 years ago many ppl would bond until they died. And their quality of relationship and often life was way better.
love is not about breeding, its about spending your time with he who you care about.
... and breeding :D
@@markaurelius61 both :D
Social constructs have no place in biology.
@@Jsitun i am not talking about biology. your dopamine rush has nothing to do with the instict of love.
@@Jsitun *instinct
58 with a 56 GF for a year. The fun is still there, that's not the problem. No desire to find someone else, I'm not a Chad. More worried about our physical health as we get older together. Not signing a contract with the state.
I'm an Eastern man, a religious one in that. I'm not in a committed relationship yet, and I'm talking to two women at once, both from my social circle, both are of the same age as mine, as friends. Both of the women are virgins.
This way, I can talk, build up attraction, and/or test the quality of multiple women at once, so I can filter women more efficiently.
And the best thing about this is that I can develop an abundance mindset and not be desperate.
Now, I'm VERY monogamous and i will definitely only pick one, but I'm still 22, and I still have around 5-6 years before I settle.
Girls in the most conservative countries do things like reconstructing their hymens after having casual $ex, because their mothers take them to doctors. So don't be deceived by women, they always lie according to men standards.
Long-term relationships are not just about physical attraction or sex. The relationship should transcend to a mutually beneficial one in which you and your partner make each other the best version of each other in every facet of your lives, and help each other grow. That's a very different, more complex relationship and I'd argue much more fulfilling than one centered around physical attraction or sex.
Physical attraction lasted all through my LTRs, but I was gamma/blue pill. Actually, my most intense attraction was to a woman who I'd been with for 4 years, ...when she lost some weight right before we broke up.
Same if they treated me well
She wasn't losing the weight for you!
@@dirkdiggler3009 haha facts. She lost the weight for the good looking guy she wants
This is honestly not good advice Alex. Unless you have a unicorn woman, the idea that you can present her this need you have for novelty in a logical fashion, thinking she will accept it, is a fantasy. You KNOW that women are going to be driven by their emotions, and not by logic or what's true when you bring this up. It's going to set off insecurity alarms in her, no matter what. Unavoidable.
You're so right!! But let's be honest, is this really a sentiment only shared by women? I think not. Plenty of men would be butt hurt if their woman expressed a need for novelty.
This feeling, jealousy....it's a human experience. Not a gendered one.
@@LevityBrevity I think the better comparison would be that a woman expresses her need for her man to "provide", ie. make more money for her. That could spark fears in the man that she might be a gold digger, or that she cares more about what he can "provide" than about who he is as a guy. But the difference is, there's a world where she can express that need to a man, and he will be empathetic, understanding of her perspective and accepting. Maybe even motivated to go above and beyond and fulfill that role. There is no such world where a woman accepts it, even *if* she understands it. Because how they *feel* takes precedent. That was my point.
He's also forgetting the biological instinct of mate guarding. This applies to both genders.
I talked to my gf about it, went fine
@@alexandergrace5350 She's a unicorn most likely. She's used to tackling these issues by now with how this is your job. Don't really think your personal experience is gonna help here.
When women commit, they might be thinking that it's "for ever", but in reality it's usually just "for now". When men commit, it's usually forever. The numbers of who choses to break up in monogamous hetero-cis relationships demonstrate this.
Nope it does not. Generally speaking men just dont have options - and if they have the divorce penalty might make them think twice. (Almost) Every man would act like Leonardo Di Caprio if he could
I disagree. The fear of being betrayed and financially destroyed by a commitment is way stronger than the fear of not being able to have intimacy with other women. I call BS on this.
I can't explain how much I appreciate these videos. I am student and don't have a lot of money but I hope at least like, comment and subscribe will help you and your channel to grow even more thanks to algorithm. Always high quality content with valid explanation so everyone can understand. Your channel is gem and I hope more man will find your videos!
I have the instinct to beat people senseless when they disrespect me but I tend not to act on my biological urge to do so. Just because you want to or could do something it doesn't mean you should.
Alexander mentions about prostitution and whether if you just want sex then go and see a prostitute. Surveys done on particular sex orientated websites and chat rooms show that in the breakdown the two biggest groups of men that frequent prostitutes is married men between 32 and 45 and men in their late 50's up into their 70's. The latter group has more single, widowed and divorced men plus a smaller group who are married and because of various reasons cannot have sex with partner. I believe that this industry is much larger than most people realise. It can be easier just to satisfy a sexual need rather that trying to meet or date a woman and not everyone wants or needs an emotional attachment.
There are very few women working in prostitution/escorting in 2022 because most of them figured out they can get simps to give them all the money they can via webcam, OnlyFans, or just telling simps to 'CashApp' them - they never need to touch a man they don't find hot ever again, and they still get paid well.
Used to have a girlfriend for 5 years, mostly we were doing good, but after some time, I wanted to go and explore so to say, because she was my first girlfriend...worst mistake of my life, I'm 31 now and single, and will remain so forever
You deserve to be single, you don't have the morals for real long term relationships.
1 girl is enough if you truly love her
For average men yes. For guys who have multiple options Nope.
@@rajakghosh6602 Still depends on the guy. More than enough above average guys who stick to one girl.
@@rajakghosh6602 if the guy is a virgin with many options but waits for the one true love, one woman is enough.
Wanting to sleep with women other than your significant other has little to no bearing on how much you love her
@@WoodmanTiller there's a no true love but good woman who can respect you and follow you. True love soulmate are hollywood lies sold to millions.
The thought of not sleeping with other women never even crossed my mind, it was always a trust issue
I'm sure it's a struggle for a lot of men, but all people have their own struggles. This just seems like a way to take the responsibility away from yourself because of your instincts, when the truth is that if you committed to a relationship, you must keep your commitment. There will be times when it's hard, but you have to work on yourself to go through those times.
Just imagine if your girlfriend or wife said "I've been dissatisfied with how much you provide. I still love you, but you should be grateful that I'm not dumping you for a richer man. I can't help it, it's just my nature. Just thought you should know"
That's a manipulative monster, using your insecurities to keep you in line.
I agree with you, but to be fair there are a lot of women who will pressure their man to work longer hours, work harder for that promotion, take a second job, etc. to provide more without any thought at all to the impact it will have on his mental health and stress.
You realise that the majority of arguments in marriage are about finances right? Combine that with the fact that the breadwinner is typically the man or at the very least itll be relatively even and youll realise that wives and girlfriends do put pressure on men to earn more. Either because the man isnt ok with how much the woman is spending, or because the women isnt ok with how much she is able to spend.
Is it just me? I thought it was a good thing to last a long time before ejaculating?
I’m saddened by the promiscuity of society and how it has destroyed the ability of many people to form families. In the days when most men and women were not having sex with so many partners, they feared more finding the wrong partner than giving up having sex with various partners. There is something very wrong with a society that promotes and encourages so much fruitless promiscuity, and it is terrible that people think that there is anything normal about the fear of giving up promiscuity when finding a mate.
womens wetness runs out, so zo sprak, at some point, so it can get too long and become uncomfortable to even painful for them. if you have trouble coming with them, they also take it as a personal insult that they can't make you come or that it takes so long for thrm to get you there.
it's all ondovidual, though, so one woman might become too dty after ten minutes, the next can go for hours if she wants to.
Agree
Wtf, i really dont know why you can think that its maybe better to have only 2 minutes stamina for sex.
@@nihilist7810
Maybe that’s why these guys have a lot of different partners. If you only last two minutes, you might not get a next time with the same woman, so you have to find another…
Actually, I watched the video again. He said he thinks it was on mice. Men are not mice. We often get these invalid extrapolations from animal studies on this channel. I watch on 2x speed, so sometimes I miss the exact context of the studies they sight, which is dangerous.
I can absolutely 100% confirm and agree with everything you just said. I was married for 17 years and as soon as I was free I slept with so many girls that I have no idea how many. By the end I felt just as empty and came to the exact same conclusion that I would be happier with one really high quality woman. It took 4 years but I finally met someone that makes me very very happy and for that reason I have no interest in dating or sleeping around.
Yuucckkk
I remember having to take the time to think and to accept the fact that maybe I would never sleep with any other girl than my girlfriend. Even if my debt was huge.
When it was registered by my brain, I was pretty sure that I will be loyal to her.
But now I'm single again...
You had me in the first half......
Why are you single again?
@@champagneshade6249 She lost interest and broke up with me after 2.5 years
@@cuteraptor42 Boom, exactly - thanks for sharing.
I'm not afraid of committing to one woman for life. I've done that multiple times already. I'm afraid of committing myself to yet another girl who will cheat on me after a year or two.
The timing of this video was so needed, thanks Alexander
That's the least of my worries it's the thought of living in a homeless shelter for the rest of my life paying alimony child support for a house I can't afford and now I have to pay for an apartment on top of that yeah no thanks
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯
One of your best videos Alexander, thank you.
Very bad advice regarding talking about this desire for other women with your wife Alex... This might be how many men feel but it's actually an unhealthy and morally wrong desire and a strong man will actively work against this desire without bringing emotional torment to his wife by telling her about this desire. In the same way, a woman who isn't interested in sex with her husband actually shouldn't distress her husband by telling him this but she should actively work against her lack of desire and have frequent sex with her husband even when she doesn't feel like it... This is a way a man can love his wife and a woman can love her husband without creating a damaging emotional rift throug forcing a conversation that neither will really understand...
That has never been an issue for me. Just 1 decent girlfriend was all i cared for. Never cared for hookup culture. It seems so meaningless to me. 1 decent relationship is better than several 1 night stands
How long have you been in a relationship? Even if you still really love the same girl for a long time, you will still notice that the excitement has gone down drastically over time right? It’s normal though
I've never feared being locked down with one person, was more scared of not finding someone I could give my commitment to entirely.
No, its the prospect that the woman can cut him off at any time for any reason and he still has to be responsible for the income coming in. He has no recourse for her obligation to him and if he divorces her, she can take his stuff and his kids.
My wife and I got married at 23 13 years ago. I find her more attractive than I did when we first married, even after 3 kids.
so what is the secret?
@@alexanderg8466 closing his eyes and imagining Mia Khalifa
@@FilipMacioszek not necessarily. She is immagining going back to dating market with 3 children. Hope after children leave house she will find your passion again.
Women do this, too. It’s the reason for “dead bedroom.”
All females are same for me for all my life.
I don't think guys are embarrassed of anything. You can talk to your girlfriend, but keep in mind she will tell you things you don't want to hear. For example, you are most likely not a woman's first choice. Are you ready to hear that truth? Too much honesty is not always the best.
This reminds me of how in Mexico there is a theory that men and women are more or less the same, and I don't mean equality but rather that one member of the opposite sex is about as good as the next. This sounds really harsh and is almost the opposite of the Anglo view that your spouse is special but I think it's closer to the truth. For example, the women would think why would they ever get a divorce, they would just be trading for another man. They aren't meaning it as they're all no good, rather what they're pointing out that the differences between her and her husband aren't going to change with a different husband, they're innate differences between men and women that will cause friction no matter who that person is. If you're constantly changing partners, they're still a member of the opposite sex and in the end, they are going to be more or less the same so leaving your spouse for another is not as good idea as it sounds like because she is just a girl and the next one is too and the one after that so it's getting at what you said in the end; there is no end to it, no satisfaction.
In these times i am more interested at the female side. Now that promiscuity for females is culturally pushed are there rearches that show that they are also changing biologically and psichologically and the Coolidge effect is rising up also for them?
Men not wanting to commit is mostly driven by the fear of losing everything in a seperation or divorce and by women excercising their hypergamy. This is just a trivial reason.
More relevant in my opinion too though not worried about the hypergamy personally
Women are wired for sexual novelty too and evolution has a very good reason to select positively for this.
What is the purpose of sexual reproduction? It's called genetic variability. We trade speed and efficiency in reproduction (cloning) for better survival against diseases and environmental factors (sex & gene shuffling). The fact that the overwhelming majority of complex organisms reproduce sexually is a testament that sex is a very big deal. Less complex organism who clone themselves achieve genetic variability by faster reproduction and mutations. But species with more genetic variability are better positioned to survive down the line than species with less genetic variability.
The point is that it would be biologically more beneficial for a woman to have many children from multiple men than to have many children from the same man. This would ensure greater genetic variability in the offspring and greater chance for survival in the long run.
While one man having children with lots and lots of women like in the example of Genghis Khan is good for that specific man but can also lead to the loss of genetic variability in the community or the species.
Some societies recognize this as a bad outcome and for example set a limit on how many children a single sperm donor can father.
Happy to find your content! As a sixty something male psycho-therapist I have a suggestion, replace "high quality women" with "Higher developed women". The quality of anyone must be seen in their current state of evolution and in contrast to who they are engaging with in relationship. The nature of life is to grow, we are all doing it, like it like it or not. Sometimes we do it well and sometimes rather poorly. Keep up the good work, you and all your peers! There is hope for future generations. 😊 Bret LMSW
Grow like cancer right?
That's the ultimate dilemma between a hedonistic life and a meaningful one.
I think women experience the same. Why would their sex drive dry off after few years like they are a whole different person?
I believe it was Mick Jagger who was once asked: "what is the best aphrodisiac in the world?"
And he simply responded: "a new mate!"
I don't have an answer for either the man or the woman. I'm pretty sure it'd be bad either way.
I have less of a problem with quantity. I'm more worried that I'll get bored of a woman because she is not smart enough to understand me on an intellectual level. Autism, cyclothymia, and what ever genes that make extremely overwhelmingly smart people run in my veins. My cousin won Florida's smartest kid award for a few years. My grandfather is a master philanthropist with multiple business ventures. My father is a radio engineer and a car fabrication tech.
I'm afraid to settle down and be stuck with a girl who's not exactly dumb, but just not smart enough. Im not sure I know what to do. I've learned a lot on this channel, but this question plagues me constantly.
Even as a kid I'd see the moms of cute girls and realize what they were quickly going to turn into. 5'6" 180 with a contrived, short hair cut, waddling around like a resentful and atrophied ex-powerlifter. It was always clear that young female beauty is nature's desperate attempt to trap a man into serving her and her brood for life, perpetuating the pathetic misery for yet another generation. Biology runs the show. It takes a tremendous amount of objectivity to avoid falling for Mother Nature's tricks and even more difficult mastering a fulfilling lifestyle should one have succeeded in avoiding it.
Schopenhauer couldn‘t have put it better
The drive for novelty does indeed come a lot from pron, and a major part of the remedy is discipline and cutting right back or going cold turkey entirely. Over time you'll be more and more happy to channel the urges into your partner.
Great video, probably a topic a lot of men need to talk about. I’m glad you bring up that it isn’t all biological and that there is a psychological element because so many men who bring this up only use the biological explanation and I believe that is because they don’t want to talk about their feelings and esteem, they just want a logical explanation
I just can't relate. I only want one. I don't care if she is ugly or fat either. If I have to, I can close my eyes or turn off the lights. My ex was overweight and I helped her lose it, and I taught her to drive a car because her parents failed at raising her.
Suddenly when she could drive and was fit, her parents started to finally show her love and she listened to them and she started to cheat on me and gaslight me about it. I didn't realize it at first... then she was doing cocaine... going to raves... and I think she aborted our baby unless it wasn't even mine to begin with.
Then I divorced her and she literally brought a man to the house right in the middle of the whole divorce process and while I was kicking him out, she started to babble on about how she was "just trying to get me to realize what I was missing" or something, which I guess makes sense to some women... so she is saying she'd love me more if I cheated and disrespected and hit her the way she did to me. I have met a lot of women like that who want men to be "a little controlling" or something... which is just a weapon that she can use on your later. I can't do that. I'd rather be single than be with a woman I have to "manage".
There is too much opportunity and too much pressure for women to do the wrong thing. Her parents, her friends, her male or female boss, her ex, Cosmopolitan magazine, etc. all will tell her to disrespect you and cheat on you. At this point, if the woman isn't completely covered including her hair, she shuns social media, never wears makeup literally ever and has hobbies aside from whiteclaw, netflix and the basic things... I don't want her. I'm tall. Fit... I have a house with land, car and a decent enough job. I consider myself handsome, and I have been told I am. I can get a girlfriend, but I can't find one that is worth my time.
I know what this means. I'm going to be single forever. Thats better than trying, and even better than "succeeding" with one of these women only to get trashed later because I don't want to treat her poorly. I consider myself at fault for giving her a chance to begin with. It knew it was too good to be true.
The most hurtful thing about modern women in my opinion is that if I were an abuser or I only called her for a slow Tuesday, I would have more success. I don't want that. I want a family and a helper for that purpose. If I can't have that, a woman is useless to me unless we share a hobby maybe and we can be very distant friends... maybe.
Reminds me of a comic video with a couple in bed with the woman citing the fact that a bull can 'do it' 20 times in a day. The man replies "Yes, but not with the same old cow he's been with for years."
LOL!
A lot of you men are full of it or lacking sexual marketplace value. Your mindset is tuned to this frequency. When you set out to attract a woman, you create charisma/personality that would attract the partner you want. That in turn attracts several woman, not just one. Me and all my close male friends had to get over the hurdle and re adjust our mindset to cater to one and only one woman. Shifting gears. Great video.
I don’t see taking longer to ejaculate as a problem. I see that as a solution to a problem. I also see desiring sex less as a good thing.
Hiring Pr0s is the way to go. Just no hussle involved. No drama. And cheaper than all other options too. With guaranteed results and whatever you want in that moment.
I was able to commit to one woman
I can still do it, but I have like severe trust issues. Can't find a high quality woman , and it's so risky that it terrifies to commit to a wrong woman.
Like even if I find a high quality woman , she can do everything but won't be able to get rid of my trust issues. I will still doubt her, living in paranoia.
I would prefer to stay single or indulge casual clapping. But then again I despise low quality women so I don't even wanna casually clap.
Also I don't want to harm an innocent woman just because I have severe trust issues.
High quality women fall for high quality men. Most of them are already off the market, but alexander had made a great video about where to find them.
I personally don't care about a "high quality" woman. I just want a reasonable person that you can spend time with, without going crazy.
If she has a healthy body and a personally that makes you laugh and that you can make laugh then I would be happy. But I guess those are just as rare aren't they?
You truly have issues and should seriously seek help, this is not a problem that can’t be fixed.
@@mz00956 doesn't that make her a high quality woman?
@@XGoldenPhoenixX no matter what I try the anxiety that comes with it never goes away
I would much rather live without anxiety than with
I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it's chronic. .
I actually like the single lifestyle, I feel free .
With all the men these young girls have had, she'll be bored of her guy way before the "long term".
I know dating's a nightmare for a guy like me but I also knew I'd be happier single living my own life than gradually having less and less independence as she was becoming more controlling and demanding. Plus she was 7 years older with a daughter. I choose my own life or a shared one, not to be a pet.
I’m a woman, but I’d also rather be single, happy, and independent than miserable with someone that treats me like a pet or back burner. Being single these past nine years has really helped me develop on a psychological (and spiritual) level, and I’m very content with the way that my life has turned out so far.
Except for the discussion with girlfriend about Coolidge effect, spot on video. I too have fixed mindset of fancy life with many beautiful women available when in need, but have finally started to realize that it’s just a mirage.
I’m 40 and I’ve never wanted to get married because I can’t just be with one woman. Monogamy has always been extremely hard for me. No matter how hot the woman is I still get tired of sleeping with her. Feminism has been awesome for me. It’s easier now than ever to get laid with zero attachment. I’ve had monogamist relationships and I’ve been unhappy the entire time. It’s sucks, I’d like to be happy with one woman but it hasn’t happened yet.
Interesting observation about how feminism has increased your dating pool 😂
12:00 then sleep with s*x workers. If a monogamous relationship is not an ideal for you, sleep around with escorts and camgirls. Have a new one when you feel like it. You’ll sleep with hundreds if you have the money.
And after you do that come back to me and tell me about the gaping hole in your love life. How all these girls you sleep with and have no connection with is meaningless. You’ll realize the pride and source of happiness is a healthy family. Only you’re capable of fostering one. Otherwise it’ll crumble with no care. And either way you’ll be alone. Pressures on.
But you’re 40. I’m 25. Our priorities are different.
@@g7-farrer s*x workers don’t provide validation of a man’s sexual prowess, so they don’t fulfill the psychological needs of a man. Men have biologically evolved to plant their seed into as many women as possible; thus, our ability to pair bond isn’t as affected as a woman’s. But the more men a woman has slept with definitely affects her ability to pair bond.
Just because of increased ejaculation time for the same female compared to different females doesn't mean they are not interested in the same female anymore compared to different females, please understand that.
Exactly, if anything it means she will love you more for being a good lover. You will last longer and she will be happy.
@@get_spanked240 Yes, that is what even I said in my another comment here. Now it is kind of a common science that women take longer to cum than men and it is natural and maybe a male's ability to keep up with a female's desire of lasting longer in bed is what keeps the same female for a longer time in their relationship and life, otherwise she would have left him too early and the male eventually have no choice to switch to a different partner and the reason behind different females and lasting shorter with them is that males don't care of keeping all women for a long term, since one way or the other they are going to get new girls and they didn't love the different females as such of variety, seems like lasting longer is a sign of love. Maybe it is animal nature to not keep off of their instincts to cum fast with different females as they get new one and king of a habit forming there compared to human males as animals are more driven by their instincts than human beings despite one gets different partner or same partner to last long or not. May be human beings even despite of having different partners can love different women for the time being at least suppressing their instincts or urges to cum faster with different females compared to animals.
Or, this may even be true that is men that who switch to different females for sex is not because of their own choice but a lack of choice since they can't keep any woman for a long term because of their inability to last long in bed and women through their different choice leaves them for other men that can last long.
I hope you are still reading the comments Alexander, you are completely right about prostitution, people really are looking for validation and status, not just pleasure.
An important realization for me, and I mean to say this to be productive, is women who sleep around have more in common with men who pay for it than they have differences. It is just pleasure for it's own sake with someone who wouldn't commit to you. Telling women this is empowering and good for them would be like telling men the best thing for them is to visit a pro. I guess some people can do it and be happy, but it clearly isn't the best thing for most people.
'Same female' .. brutal 😂😂😂
ALWAYS love yourself and make sure you're in good shape mentally and somewhat physically before entering in a relationship...otherwise you will put alot of burden and hardship on your partner and the relationship
Monogamy does not come naturally to men. We are primates and primates are not monogamous. But .... we already do many things that are not natural: shaving, sitting behind a desk, driving a car, etc. We have to (and can) learn to be monogamous. Our love for the woman in our lives should direct us toward monogamy and innocent flirting remedies that "psychological" need Alexander is talking about.
I am a woman. And an eternal student of life. Very nice video. Learnt a lot.
9 video's? Hah!
At least 40 vids, then going back to whichever excited me most... NOT possible IRL (unless you are mega-rich or a celebrity).
Normal is to "view" >20 different women and stop when you find the one that excites you AT THAT MOMENT, or picking the one that excites you most.
Then doing it all over again the next day.
Monogamy is more about "love" or "stability" and working through life together (even if you've grown apart, you still complement each other dealing with life's difficulties).
The most recent LAWS created in society are counter-intuitive to success in life for both sexes.
They have such a "chilling effect" on men that they are avoiding those laws by staying single or sleeping around and denying/hurting women (if they can get away with it and the law doesn't interject itself in their lives).
And women are getting men's resources WITHOUT having to do anything to EARN his commitment/resources, they are being rewarded for LYING, so they are free to destroy their lives with the option of making false accusations in the future if they need help getting through life later on (because they squandered their early life being hedonistic and making mistakes).
Thankfully GOOD men are bowing out of this "lifestyle", and the women are left screaming/complaining about it (online to the void).
If a GOOD man can't find a GOOD woman he turns his back on ALL women, leading to a lot of (young) men being indifferent to women's issues.
I've never experienced this, have i wanted other women while in a relationship? Yeah ofcourse. But badly enough to wish i wasn't in a relationship? No
I think this is mostly for the men that fear to lose too much interest in their girlfriend or potential girlfriend in the future which I don’t believe is that big of a percentage but it’s good to talk about
Leo is just a man who doesn't want a relationship.
He has the money to have fun his whole life. He is a horrible example of what a man who wants a relationship needs to be like. Also the women he dates know they are just with him for a short time. They ain't dumb. The also do not want a relationship while being with him, just the fun life style for a few years/months.
You covering people who wanna act like kids.
There are a lot immature people though.
@@maidende8280 That's the point. Most people are immature. These people are not meant to have succesfull relationships.
So it's like getting upset when you trying to domesticate a lion tthat just thinks of killing u alll the time
I don’t think this video is just towards men that want to have fun. It’s just about men that are scared to loose too much attraction towards those they fall in love with
@@iamalexwolf If you choose a woman based on looks like Leo, all you can ever do is fall out of attraction.
Again like i said, he is trying to make an argument for someone who never intends to be in a relationship. He doesn't fall out of attraction, he gets bored. He only wants to F them, not be with them and magically falls out of love.
@@zekekillah Yes, I agree.
I really doubt this is the primary problem. Most men have trouble getting sex on a regular basis. What most men fear is that he'll commit and the sex dries up and stops altogether.
5:02 This might explain, why I am more into compilations... If you know what I mean. 😂🤔 Of course I also did only research. 😅
Porn does not equal Polygamy. I find polygamy repugnant and their aren't enough women to satiate a mans sexual desire.
It's nice to see you getting back to more scientific content, less conversational of your or Matt's past experiences, or responses to videos women posted.
Monogamy allows you to focus all your energy in being more productive and creative.
Spend your 20s conquering and while building your kingdom. Then settle down and focus on reaching new heights.
Thanks for finding the nuance on this topic
Never been afraid of getting bored of my girl but rather her dreaming of "what am I missing, was there a better one etc.".
When I tell my friends that I've decided relationships with women are more work than they are worth, I am met with backlash and disappointment. I hate to say it, but that response just confirms for me that those things I notice are being noticed by them too, but they are in denial as to what it means for their future. I can see the warning signs of failure in their relationships that ultimately led to the end of my marriage. But I don't dare mention that to them. Regardless, seeing these failures in their relationships has only solidified my position of not wanting a relationship with a woman. The very thing that I want out of a longterm relationship is something that will end up destroying any intimate relationship I could have with a woman. Despite what we are typically advised to practice in our intimate relationships, allowing women in on everything we think about as intellectual men WILL cause a woman to lose respect for you and then leave you. That one thing is full and open honesty. And if I can't talk about the underlying causes of the animosity within my relationship with the person I am in the relationship with, then that relationship is not valuable to me. I can't be intellectually free with that person, and I do not wish to seek out relationships with people like that. If I can't feel completely comfortable with someone such that I can talk about any subject with them and not have to worry about the consequences of such conversation, then no thank you, I'll pass. It only highlights the fact that humans are just animals responding to biological queues, which is depressing and makes me question the underlying truth that is responsible for my partner's devotion.
If any of what I just said becomes the subject of conversation within your hetero relationship, your relationship's days are numbered. What I don't know is if this is a problem in gay male relationships. I wouldn't think so, but perhaps the trait that makes a man prefer other men also instills the inability to accept biological reasoning as well. I don't know, but I would be interested to hear from any gay men who have contemplated this.
When someone cant handle the opinions of another (provided those opinions dont lead to direct harm to others), its likely because theyve had those same thoughts but pushed them away out of fear
Wow that analogy about being a drug addict with women is so true.
"Commit, pull the trigger, monagomy" I have no problem with when I can be Henry VIII (meaning in power of the law).
A large part of Ghengis Khan’s sexual strategy was grape 🍇. I hope that you start clarifying that when you speak of him. Great video!
One Woman forever is truly special and desirable IF YOUR MAN ENOUGH ! The desire drive is misinterpreted .... Why must food appetite be controlled ? Obviously to avoid many illnesses.. Diet is Destiny .. Lack of discipline is INFANTILE..Your balls are not the MEASURE of A Worthwhile Life...I see here AND everywhere else,,ON THIS TOPIC , total omission of transmission of REAL DISEASE ... NO ONE LIKES to talk about this BUT it frames question in realty ...Avoiding this is DELUSIONAL AND CAN NEVER HAVE A GOOD OUTCOME.... GREAT show ! You cover Important issues, except for avoiding disease realty ..
This is definitely a video for a certain level of man that definitely doesn’t apply to huge swaths of men.
The problem is, that if you're in a committed relationship, you as a man are obligated to provide for your woman. It is continuous and is uninterupted, specially, if you're married and have children. It is guaranteed for the woman, that you live up to your end of the bargain, even by law in most countries.
However, having sex on a regular basis is never guaranteed. The woman is not obligated to live up to her end of the bargain, it is up to her whims if she wants to or not.
How do you reconcile this difference?
In such cases, I don't blame the man to look for sex outside of the marriage/relationship, because it satisfies his need, that is not met in the committed relationship he is in, and he doesn't want to end the relationship, in order to prevent from causing more hurt (to children, financial loss on his part etc.)
11:46 it's actually very cheap where i live, anywhere between 30 and 50 euro for the full epxerience.