Name a country... We have defeated them.

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
  • The Guv asked his audience at the Edinburgh Festival to name a country so show when we defeated them.

Комментарии • 26 тыс.

  • @friedrich5485
    @friedrich5485 4 года назад +86138

    When the history teacher gets drunk at school prom.

    • @ragelynsb6537
      @ragelynsb6537 4 года назад +705

      Brilliant comment

    • @Breadhead21
      @Breadhead21 4 года назад +331

      You win

    • @wokeartist1240
      @wokeartist1240 4 года назад +175

      We've all been there

    • @john6291
      @john6291 4 года назад +71

      haha.. was thinking Smithy and pub quiz..

    • @CN-wt2bj
      @CN-wt2bj 4 года назад +83

      This comedian is so punchable.

  • @sci-figameguy8241
    @sci-figameguy8241 4 года назад +10805

    “Being an ally of ours counts as losing to us” LOL

    • @theevilascotcompany9255
      @theevilascotcompany9255 4 года назад +388

      As Canadians, the Queen and eventually Prince Charles is our head of state. Yes, that counts as losing to England.

    • @TheIceman567
      @TheIceman567 4 года назад +23

      The Evil Ascot Company are you for a republic?

    • @theevilascotcompany9255
      @theevilascotcompany9255 4 года назад +50

      @@TheIceman567 I don't relish having to carry King Charles' face in my back pocket for a couple of decades.

    • @TheIceman567
      @TheIceman567 4 года назад +3

      The Evil Ascot Company yeah I agree I think Canadians should have the vote on the matter.

    • @YourVintageStick
      @YourVintageStick 4 года назад +14

      So that sums up the entire commonwealths of the UK

  • @Zer0_Flowers
    @Zer0_Flowers 4 года назад +17404

    “I think if you create a country out of thin-fuckin’ air, you’ve won”
    The best sentence ever!

    • @Paragon13
      @Paragon13 3 года назад +230

      I had a “this part happened as I scrolled past this comment” moment.

    • @Nordmore68
      @Nordmore68 3 года назад +10

      @@Paragon13 Yehh? Yehh! 😄

    • @alextunneyware
      @alextunneyware 3 года назад +11

      @@Paragon13 same thing just happened to me

    • @T3ki1a_
      @T3ki1a_ 3 года назад +42

      Even tho it's reducing a bit for what history really is. It's still hilarious

    • @HoloTheDrunk
      @HoloTheDrunk 3 года назад +13

      The only thought that popped in my head was "oh no not [current world event]"

  • @numericbin9983
    @numericbin9983 Год назад +2746

    Al Murray is the definition of a man of culture plus a touch of humor.
    The result is fantastic. You learn while laughing

    • @iim4xii129
      @iim4xii129 Год назад +10

      Just a "touch" of humour? Come on...

    • @alluringvoice7081
      @alluringvoice7081 11 месяцев назад +7

      Would a fondle of humour be preferable?

    • @olymak
      @olymak 10 месяцев назад +1

      You learn LOL you laugh more likely LOL

    • @AkuraTheAwesome
      @AkuraTheAwesome 9 месяцев назад +2

      He's an extremely intelligent man who portrays himself as deceptively simple. The idea of a working-class accented nutter who can talk at length like a tenured professor is comedic genius.

    • @lebordeldeG2L
      @lebordeldeG2L 8 месяцев назад

      He made some mistakes though. Uganda wasn't a German colony but a Bri'ish protectorate since 1894. He thought about Tanzania I guess.

  • @nuclearnadal4869
    @nuclearnadal4869 4 года назад +9766

    They’ve even defeated England. The English Civil War. Absolute madlads!

    • @roadhouse6999
      @roadhouse6999 4 года назад +240

      I heard the joke that everyone hates America because America defeated them in a war at some point. That includes Americans who hate their own country.

    • @zachhaskell1649
      @zachhaskell1649 4 года назад +141

      @@roadhouse6999 us Americans fought to separate from Britain but just did everything they did afterwards besides the king and queen stuff

    • @wallywheezer8256
      @wallywheezer8256 4 года назад +11

      Sherman Rod Don’t forget the War of the Roses

    • @olorinmagus4479
      @olorinmagus4479 4 года назад +3

      Sherman Rod which one?

    • @olorinmagus4479
      @olorinmagus4479 4 года назад

      zach haskell no, not really

  • @bluedreamkush2392
    @bluedreamkush2392 4 года назад +25448

    This man literally told us that they defeated America by losing to them.

    • @Ruzaraneh
      @Ruzaraneh 4 года назад +3344

      They needed US independence for upcoming 200 year later to help win the fight againts german... so yeah.. in the end they are winning...

    • @aaronvargas2550
      @aaronvargas2550 4 года назад +672

      It's just a joke but ya didnt make sense lmao

    • @marciaosullivan3200
      @marciaosullivan3200 4 года назад +823

      1812-1814

    • @honoraryanglo2929
      @honoraryanglo2929 4 года назад +196

      Well from a certain point of view...

    • @targitausrithux2320
      @targitausrithux2320 4 года назад +96

      Marcia Osullivan
      Ehhh.... not really a victory

  • @samliedtke578
    @samliedtke578 4 года назад +5169

    “What language do they speak in Peru?” “Portuguese”
    “no Spanish”
    “oh”

    • @lidiasoares4939
      @lidiasoares4939 4 года назад +234

      Normally ppl don't know that in South America have a country that speak Portuguese, I very impressed someone say it

    • @samliedtke578
      @samliedtke578 4 года назад +115

      Lidia Soares I thought it was common knowledge

    • @betsyduane3461
      @betsyduane3461 4 года назад +60

      @@lidiasoares4939 Rio De Janeiro used to be the capital of the Portuguese empire at one point.

    • @lidiasoares4939
      @lidiasoares4939 4 года назад +6

      @@betsyduane3461 i know that.

    • @juliushakala5148
      @juliushakala5148 4 года назад +35

      @@lidiasoares4939 everybody who knows history knows that South American countries speak Portugese or Spanish

  • @cald1421
    @cald1421 Год назад +756

    The Brits really did look at the world and go “I’ll have that.”

    • @thesandwich5321
      @thesandwich5321 11 месяцев назад +3

      Is that a blue tudor rose I see as your profile pic?

    • @cald1421
      @cald1421 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@thesandwich5321 nope. White lotus flower. I respect all nations cause I ain’t no bitch

    • @thesandwich5321
      @thesandwich5321 10 месяцев назад

      @@cald1421you sound just like my mate! Love that for ya

    • @sombraarthur
      @sombraarthur 10 месяцев назад +4

      And yet, Brazil and Mongolia had never a war against England.
      Brazil and Mongolia are two countries that won every war they fought.

    • @bootlegpete7984
      @bootlegpete7984 10 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@sombraarthurBrazil speaks Portuguese for a reason, those lands were conquered centuries ago, and the Japanese constantly whooped and repelled the Mongolians time after time.

  • @Koiler8
    @Koiler8 4 года назад +7589

    What he’s saying is that the British don’t count the losses.

    • @benblatz8558
      @benblatz8558 4 года назад +124

      Yeah royal family is from Normandy

    • @scholaroftheworldalternatehist
      @scholaroftheworldalternatehist 4 года назад +88

      @@benblatz8558 i thought they were descended from German royals?

    • @kieranbennett7453
      @kieranbennett7453 4 года назад +99

      The first true royal family of england that we count was William 1, who was from Normandy. The current royal family descend from Germans, however, which i believe started as a relative of Prince Albert? Not too sure about where the current family started
      Edit: did some research. George V was the grandson of Prince Albert, with George VI being V's son and Elizabeth's Father

    • @thanoschin7106
      @thanoschin7106 4 года назад +21

      No it’s cos nobody dares go against us >:)

    • @mindofGOAT
      @mindofGOAT 4 года назад +20

      @@tjdunne7349 yet we still got a part of their country

  • @Ryguy72800
    @Ryguy72800 4 года назад +2379

    "Japan"
    "We got the yanks to do it for us"
    Lmao

    • @NorthCamZ
      @NorthCamZ 3 года назад +65

      Well tbf the brits were fighting Japan using their navy in the Pacific

    • @problemistatist
      @problemistatist 3 года назад +47

      The nuclear bombs that were dropped on hiroshima and Nagasaki were originally slated to be dropped my royal airforce planes. The us had to rush to design a whole new plane to carry the bombs and were not ready to do so until the last minute. In the end they were merely escorted by the raf. The us president felt it would be a matter of prestige to be dropping the bombs. But it was very much in collaboration with British scientist and military planners that that terminal end to the Japanese war effort came about.

    • @problemistatist
      @problemistatist 3 года назад +9

      @ALSO-RAN ! The history of the black lancasters and the development of B29 can be seen here: ruclips.net/video/5XX9ptCNpik/видео.html

    • @problemistatist
      @problemistatist 3 года назад +7

      @ALSO-RAN ! The idea of cutting out the main support strut and redesigning the structure of the plane itself to be able to carry these bombs is a little more than retrofitting them. We can agree that the B29 was already in production, but it evidently had not been designed with the secret Los Alamos projects in mind.I Also believe that the American insistence on their own plane was in part an effort to ensure they had the unilateral capability to strike with the new weapon as often as they saw fit.

    • @theidiot5496
      @theidiot5496 3 года назад +8

      @@problemistatist the reasons Japan surrendered was cause of the ussr entering the war and not cause of the bomb the Japanese wouldn't care if the Americans dropped the and American did almost all fighting in the Pacific and asia with the exception of burma china and manchuria

  • @dsong00
    @dsong00 4 года назад +8215

    People taking this too seriously, he's obviously playing the part of an overly cocky brit that's gonna spin anything into a win

    • @tb4322
      @tb4322 4 года назад +621

      So a regular brit?

    • @donnythedealer2571
      @donnythedealer2571 4 года назад +136

      I call my self a Brit and I’m from Glasgow

    • @standingoffthecorner
      @standingoffthecorner 4 года назад +40

      Theres just Brits and aggressive Brits lol

    • @dsong00
      @dsong00 4 года назад +91

      @Bryan McDade anyone who's so much as glanced at a wiki page will know this. Same thing very much goes for what you call "Americans," yet the comedy act is still very much based on the caricature of a cocky "brit" - oversimplified and overexaggerated.

    • @shadowninja958
      @shadowninja958 4 года назад +43

      Bryan McDade y’all gonna be brits to me so long as every time the name Britain or England are mentioned in any sentence the first assumption is that it’s just us “stupid Americans” not knowing the difference or getting our facts wrong I’m gonna keep broadly referring to people living in the country as brits.

  • @Deathst4lker
    @Deathst4lker Год назад +322

    This performance is world class - fantastic historical knowledge coupled with great comedy. Love it!

  • @justanmr2973
    @justanmr2973 4 года назад +3513

    Random dude: Poland
    This guy: WE SOLD THEM

    • @xernax1841
      @xernax1841 4 года назад +10

      Explain.

    • @usaball9190
      @usaball9190 4 года назад +115

      When Poland got invaded, the French and the British merely declaring war, then hunker down to protect their own land in the defensive line instead of attacking. Which they could easily do given that Germany moves most of the army’s division to Poland at that time.

    • @alexanderthegreat445
      @alexanderthegreat445 4 года назад +7

      slavboi No, he simply couldn’t do anything about. It would have risked the Treaty and the and it was miles from the nearest Western authority. It was the only thing Churchill didn’t sit well with in the Treaty.

    • @ryszardkaczmarczyk2471
      @ryszardkaczmarczyk2471 4 года назад +5

      They defeated the Duchy of Warsaw though

    • @MaximusVA_
      @MaximusVA_ 4 года назад +53

      @@xernax1841 After WW2 had ended (with the unconditional surrender of the Wehrmacht) the allies gave the control over Poland to the Soviet Union.
      They basically sold them off to the Soviets as what was left of the Polish population fought along the British army.

  • @Bobobo-bo-bo-bobobo
    @Bobobo-bo-bo-bobobo 4 года назад +3396

    Nobody:
    Historians when they get drunk at a party:

    • @jackj9816
      @jackj9816 4 года назад +4

      This is me haha

    • @ComradeHellas
      @ComradeHellas 4 года назад +3

      Count me in

    • @ghost_1153
      @ghost_1153 4 года назад +10

      This joke is so original that i saw it 2 comments up

    • @Alteroxx954
      @Alteroxx954 4 года назад +4

      Adding the ,,Nobody,, was unneccesary

    • @majav15mg
      @majav15mg 4 года назад +1

      Fuck this meme back to hell.

  • @victorbaxter5973
    @victorbaxter5973 3 года назад +10990

    Al Murray is a History Graduate from Oxford University plus a Doctorate. He started this act to amuse his University friends. His persona on stage is totally an act. He is completely different in real life.

    • @scootergrant8683
      @scootergrant8683 3 года назад +500

      What I love is his incredible grasp of knowledge. But it was great when he was on Top Gear and ratted on about tanks with Clarkson.

    • @infinitydreamzz
      @infinitydreamzz 3 года назад +80

      If he's a history major he should know the Dutch sailed through Thames all the way to London. Or how the Americans gained their independence.

    • @scootergrant8683
      @scootergrant8683 3 года назад +557

      @@infinitydreamzz But he is also a comedian so he is going to use knowledge for effect and not show other sides of it just for the laugh factor.

    • @infinitydreamzz
      @infinitydreamzz 3 года назад +36

      @@scootergrant8683 fair enough

    • @scootergrant8683
      @scootergrant8683 3 года назад +61

      @@infinitydreamzz But you did teach me something I didn't know. I mean there are bound to be tonnes of events that people don't know of because the average person only encounters so much. Yet I never knew the Dutch sailed up the Thames.

  • @dank2804
    @dank2804 11 месяцев назад +119

    This guy can spin anything into a positive. I'd like him to live rent free in my head 😂

  • @STDRACO777
    @STDRACO777 4 года назад +6111

    Wow Im more impressed by his knowledge than his jokes and thats not a insult.

    • @Cherryptls
      @Cherryptls 4 года назад +16

      Some of them are jokes though

    • @shehranazim4784
      @shehranazim4784 4 года назад +65

      He studied history at Oxford, so this stuff is his specialty

    • @STDRACO777
      @STDRACO777 4 года назад +5

      @Scott Adam That depends do you believe handing over power back to colonies was an achievement or a determent to the morals of the people of Britain? Too many people its a thing to be proud of as its harder to give away power than to take away power after you have it.

    • @samshroff741
      @samshroff741 4 года назад +17

      a lot of the things he was saying were wrong but had a similar result, I.e. burkina faso was colonized by the French, the line in South America (why they speak Spanish in Peru) is called the treaty of tordesillas and was signed in 1494, not 1512, and by pope Alexander vi not pope Judas. There were some pretty impressive things in there though

    • @ArawnOfAnnwn
      @ArawnOfAnnwn 4 года назад +10

      The easiest way to beat someone like this is simply to name a country that no one knows anything about, including most historians, because they're too insignificant to take note of. Like have the Brits ever beaten Vanuatu? Maybe, maybe not. Point is he wouldn't be able to answer cos no one bothers knowing anything about Vanuatu.

  • @ezzyy1147
    @ezzyy1147 4 года назад +2086

    This is the guy who started Brexit

    • @depressedpotato4915
      @depressedpotato4915 4 года назад +14

      B R U H

    • @ibuprofen-noodles
      @ibuprofen-noodles 4 года назад +45

      I'm gonna tell my children this was Nigel Farage

    • @Lady_Maria-2007
      @Lady_Maria-2007 4 года назад +7

      EzzYy
      We have now defeated almost all of europe without even having to visit them.

    • @vanillaicecream2385
      @vanillaicecream2385 4 года назад +3

      if you create a country out of thin fucking air you've won, well if you create an argument like that out of thin fucking air you've lost

    • @ThePathStrider
      @ThePathStrider 2 месяца назад

      I think he promised the UK will be leave Europe by 2025 and leave the Solar System by 2050.

  • @tzo_ghoul7167
    @tzo_ghoul7167 4 года назад +5297

    This guy studied all of history and remembered all of it

    • @tzo_ghoul7167
      @tzo_ghoul7167 4 года назад +6

      @glyn hodges I already assumed that but neet

    • @tzo_ghoul7167
      @tzo_ghoul7167 4 года назад +3

      @glyn hodges basically

    • @deepvibes4871
      @deepvibes4871 4 года назад +15

      It’s only 500 years of history , have you not read a book lol

    • @francis3372
      @francis3372 4 года назад +2

      props on the kaneki pic my g

    • @tzo_ghoul7167
      @tzo_ghoul7167 4 года назад +3

      @@francis3372 thank you

  • @Dandodod1
    @Dandodod1 Год назад +124

    His mind is amazing. So much knowledge. And he makes it fun. Teachers should take note.

    • @thenoobyblock1208
      @thenoobyblock1208 7 месяцев назад

      Although the bit about the division of South America was a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Got the years and the names completely wrong.

    • @stephenwaller4231
      @stephenwaller4231 4 месяца назад

      No.....teachers should be accurate and factual..... nothing more, nothing less
      Stick to the facts.

  • @geograymon55
    @geograymon55 4 года назад +6192

    This guy is intoxicated and can remember the history of nations better than I can remember what my to do list is for the day.

    • @TwinkleNZ
      @TwinkleNZ 4 года назад +54

      You remember you made a to do list?

    • @TwinkleNZ
      @TwinkleNZ 4 года назад +21

      @yeoldebiggetee a what now?

    • @crapcase3985
      @crapcase3985 4 года назад +3

      @@TwinkleNZ .

    • @sadowheart7620
      @sadowheart7620 4 года назад +12

      Hi, can anyone pleas tell me where I am?

    • @joshuagraham5750
      @joshuagraham5750 4 года назад +3

      Rubin Sammich hell

  • @vinito19
    @vinito19 2 года назад +6873

    It's nice to see the kid from Bully grew up and became a teacher.

    • @peace08011987
      @peace08011987 2 года назад +60

      Where is his skateboard though?

    • @skottcoucill8343
      @skottcoucill8343 2 года назад +1

      Mong

    • @skottcoucill8343
      @skottcoucill8343 2 года назад +2

      @@peace08011987 Indian

    • @the_clumsy_wizard8910
      @the_clumsy_wizard8910 2 года назад +19

      @@skottcoucill8343 ..... why are you saying a ethnicity?

    • @marilizegrobler117
      @marilizegrobler117 2 года назад +2

      The Germans are not allowed to brag about Hitlers concentration camps why would you guys feel proud of winning a war where your forefathers murdered raped and killed 28000 children in concentration camps?

  • @thehate2535
    @thehate2535 4 года назад +4902

    Let's declare the corona virus a country, so they can defeat it.

    • @wildaceds
      @wildaceds 4 года назад +28

      The Hate Does Coronavirus need freedom?

    • @thehate2535
      @thehate2535 4 года назад +90

      @@wildaceds It already has freedom.
      The lil skrub does whatever it wants

    • @jed-henrywitkowski6470
      @jed-henrywitkowski6470 4 года назад

      Lol!

    • @TheSecondVersion
      @TheSecondVersion 4 года назад +36

      UK: Declares war on virus
      Coronavirus: "Listen here, u little shit"
      (Prime Minister Boris Johnson is now severely ill from COVID-19)

    • @henryjansen9375
      @henryjansen9375 4 года назад

      Their president is sick i see that as a loss

  • @brodozer2515
    @brodozer2515 Год назад +55

    I died when she said "norway" and he went straight for the juggular, thats the funniest stuff ive heard in a while xD

    • @johnnotrealname8168
      @johnnotrealname8168 9 месяцев назад +1

      He is correct but England did beat Denmark which had a Personal Union with Norway.

  • @oriontigley5089
    @oriontigley5089 4 года назад +4382

    "Canada is our ally, which is a loss for them"
    As a Canadian, I can't say I disagree.... 😶

    • @miltoska9708
      @miltoska9708 4 года назад +13

      I am not judging since what you mean is quite obvious ,but also keep in mind that there are sorts of people that if you say that as a Canadian will tell you you are racist and stuff like that

    • @oriontigley5089
      @oriontigley5089 4 года назад +31

      @@miltoska9708 I suppose, but I mean it in jest. I mean not to offend, sorry.

    • @miltoska9708
      @miltoska9708 4 года назад +7

      @@oriontigley5089 man I'm not offended but yesterday someone argued with me for a similar reason

    • @RatBoyDunce
      @RatBoyDunce 4 года назад +1

      Same but as an Australian

    • @nbrado
      @nbrado 4 года назад +1

      American war of independence

  • @Laffey99
    @Laffey99 3 года назад +9118

    Him: "Name a country"
    Me: "Mongolia"
    Him: *nervous sweating*

    • @ddc2957
      @ddc2957 3 года назад +715

      I back this man to come up with a way to explain it though 😂

    • @pavyz456
      @pavyz456 3 года назад +1588

      probably would've said 'opium war' since china ruled over mongolia at that time

    • @alextunneyware
      @alextunneyware 3 года назад +78

      Does Scotland count?

    • @adamsmithintin2803
      @adamsmithintin2803 3 года назад +224

      @@alextunneyware Scotland is still trying to wriggle free

    • @Retaliatixn
      @Retaliatixn 3 года назад +299

      Me : Iceland.
      Him : You were not supposed to do that.

  • @Andrew-yl7lm
    @Andrew-yl7lm 4 года назад +1241

    Prepare yourself, people in the comments have been Googling furiously.

    • @doomkingraye7692
      @doomkingraye7692 4 года назад +2

      Oh yes

    • @mixtapemania6769
      @mixtapemania6769 4 года назад

      Haitians are the most kickass people in this whole continent. 🇭🇹🇭🇹 They just need to rise out this poverty state. It will happen

    • @dragzgaming
      @dragzgaming 3 года назад

      Furiously? We know the answers already we just need to do one search for the year 😎

    • @Madonnalitta1
      @Madonnalitta1 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@mixtapemania6769this whole continent?
      You know this is the net and not some land mass?!
      Seriously though, how are you guys doing? I know it's not good there atm, I hope things get better.

  • @michaeldavison9808
    @michaeldavison9808 Год назад +65

    Anyone who likes Al Murray's work might enjoy his podcast - 'we have ways of making you talk' about WWII on which I believe he wrote his doctorate and made a TV series.

  • @michaelba7791
    @michaelba7791 4 года назад +4457

    If you can understand him without subtitles you immediately get a degree in English

    • @strikemanpop
      @strikemanpop 4 года назад +217

      Im mexican
      I studied English with a scottish guy who has The most broken English in my high school and i grateful with it, i understand *EVERYTHING*

    • @vitaliitomas8121
      @vitaliitomas8121 4 года назад +69

      Give me my degree

    • @mixderman2461
      @mixderman2461 4 года назад +157

      Really? Maybe he speaks fast but nothing difficult tbh.

    • @michaelba7791
      @michaelba7791 4 года назад +8

      @@mixderman2461 idk i had difficulties bro, also english is my second language so yeah

    • @enderz8398
      @enderz8398 4 года назад +14

      Michael BA77 I understood him clearly and English is also my second language

  • @johngriffon2118
    @johngriffon2118 3 года назад +2186

    Highschool teachers- "You college Proffesor isnt going to be as chill as us"
    College history Proffesor - *spits information with a beer in his hand*

    • @FoxyBoxery
      @FoxyBoxery 3 года назад +24

      True. We oftenly smoke weed with some of our professors

    • @griffincrump5077
      @griffincrump5077 3 года назад +18

      College professors are straight up the most chill kinds of teachers there are*
      * - exceptions apply

    • @generationdana9
      @generationdana9 2 года назад +15

      I had an algebra teacher that smelled of Bourbon 🥃 everywhere he want, it was interesting learning how to solve for X & Y while he slurred the equation..

    • @ronalddg9369
      @ronalddg9369 Год назад +2

      I don't think I've ever met anyone less chill than a highschool teacher

  • @maverick9262
    @maverick9262 4 года назад +1290

    He sounds like thor when screaming "another one".

  • @youvebeengreeked
    @youvebeengreeked 11 месяцев назад +16

    *Enters pub*
    _"The British did it better."_
    *Doesn't elaborate any further*
    *Leaves*

  • @ryanhasmanners9997
    @ryanhasmanners9997 4 года назад +2113

    Comedian: *makes joke*
    Americans: TF DID YOU JUST SAY

    • @Left4Red
      @Left4Red 4 года назад +31

      Ryanhasmanners nobody is saying that

    • @Neon-zq5of
      @Neon-zq5of 4 года назад +23

      No one here has said that

    • @Andrew-re8hz
      @Andrew-re8hz 4 года назад +11

      No one asked

    • @ryanhasmanners9997
      @ryanhasmanners9997 4 года назад +16

      Lotus Gang , except they are, I’m not exactly ganna post something for no reason, of course there are people that have said that

    • @ryanhasmanners9997
      @ryanhasmanners9997 4 года назад +2

      Neon except they are, I’m not exactly ganna post something for no reason, of course there are people that have said that

  • @Paragon13
    @Paragon13 3 года назад +8922

    “They see that as a win, we see it as a lucky escape.”
    Spittin straight facts.

    • @spiffywolf2850
      @spiffywolf2850 3 года назад +134

      As someone who lives in America that's to true

    • @howdydoodilly6812
      @howdydoodilly6812 3 года назад +99

      Yeah, true. If it weren’t for domestic issues and logistical problems at the time they probably would’ve won

    • @nikitalebedev6264
      @nikitalebedev6264 3 года назад +10

      I read it exactly when he said it, lol

    • @theoneinthemiddle5553
      @theoneinthemiddle5553 3 года назад +115

      Lol the war lasted a decade. They lost to colonies of scrubs and a few French troops. That's not a lucky escape. That's winning a war.

    • @Paragon13
      @Paragon13 3 года назад +17

      The One In The Middle It’s a shithole. It’s a lucky escape because we don’t have to put up with it as much as we would if we still had control over it. That’s victory enough for us.

  • @p.z.arnott2329
    @p.z.arnott2329 4 года назад +2499

    If this guy was my world history teacher, I would definitely paid more attention.

    • @gingerbeard7222
      @gingerbeard7222 4 года назад +17

      P.Z. Arnott you’d be to busy pissing yourself to learn anything

    • @lollol7
      @lollol7 4 года назад +2

      Ginger Beard Wow, your comment says a lot about our society...

    • @lil_nut2232
      @lil_nut2232 4 года назад +8

      Lol Lol no you’re just a pussy

    • @thejman3489
      @thejman3489 4 года назад +11

      I had a history teacher who was awesome. During passing period he had loud music playing. He also has either point pong, mini golf, or mini foosball to play until the period started. He was sort of a hype man and made a big deal about things when he was teaching. He had this enthusiastically serious tone of voice that made it very enjoyable to pay attention to. He was very big on class participation and sometimes we would play class games to give us a break from the usual lessons. Sometimes when he was mad he would flip desk while being very vocal about his disappointment with the class. He would then use it as a chance to teach us. Most things he did was very over the top but in a fun way. Some students were scared of him but other loved his style of teaching. I learned a lot from his class and I've never had a teacher come close to his teaching style.

    • @moayad80
      @moayad80 4 года назад +2

      No you wouldn't.

  • @jules263
    @jules263 9 месяцев назад +17

    Brilliant. Knowledge of British history is unparalleled, even with a pint in his hand 😂

  • @thekyuwa
    @thekyuwa 3 года назад +2569

    Switzerland: "always been neutral"
    this guy: *"I'll pretend i didn't hear that"*

    • @gorillainabikini266
      @gorillainabikini266 3 года назад +139

      Pretty sure Switzerland fought for France in the napoleonic wars

    • @keeemon4451
      @keeemon4451 3 года назад +81

      @@gorillainabikini266 switzerland became a sister state of the french republic so technically yeh

    • @jacciullo4325
      @jacciullo4325 3 года назад +27

      Liechtenstein. The british didn't defeat them.

    • @wontrespond8064
      @wontrespond8064 3 года назад +19

      @@gorillainabikini266 as mercenaries. There wasnt much switzerland(at the state it was in then, it was literally the battle ground in the french revulotionary wars: Battle pf Zürich as example) could do against cray cray Bonaparte.
      Btw fun fact, France(Napoleon) still has a debt in the village I come from. MF didnt pay his food

    • @ashandtodd
      @ashandtodd 3 года назад +3

      Well, technically San Marino has always been neutral

  • @andrewemery8495
    @andrewemery8495 4 года назад +5523

    He knows his history. Clever guy.

    • @kendee4421
      @kendee4421 4 года назад +260

      Oxford graduate in History and Military History. Look on YT for his serious documentaries.

    • @gazhevski
      @gazhevski 4 года назад +85

      Except Uganda and Burkina Faso weren't German colonies

    • @andrewemery8495
      @andrewemery8495 4 года назад +50

      @@gazhevskiHe must be thinking of neighbouring Tanzania then? So, apart from the actual facts, he knows his stuff.. 😁

    • @gazhevski
      @gazhevski 4 года назад +24

      @@andrewemery8495 he knows his stuff well enough to win any pubquiz

    • @Gumardee_coins_and_banknotes
      @Gumardee_coins_and_banknotes 4 года назад +26

      Never heard of a dumb comedian

  • @usaball9190
    @usaball9190 4 года назад +4040

    I like how he would make his case with Switzerland

    • @caorens
      @caorens 4 года назад +364

      World war 2 British, American and German fighter craft were shot down within Swiss airspace, multiple bombings of towns, forcing Switzerland to withdraw as a neutral party, thus creating the Geneva convention.

    • @sirknight6283
      @sirknight6283 4 года назад +25

      How bout the normans and the battle of Hastings

    • @abhishekdahikane2817
      @abhishekdahikane2817 4 года назад +7

      US 🇺🇲 fought war against Switzerland 🇨🇭 during WW2......

    • @TheRandalf90
      @TheRandalf90 4 года назад +95

      Napolionic wars. Switzerland was an ally of France.

    • @frogchip6484
      @frogchip6484 4 года назад +12

      João Rodolfo Alves they were a puppet state that revolted, which caused napoleon to send the grand armeè to squash it which worried the European powers

  • @jonschannel6266
    @jonschannel6266 Год назад +22

    Absolute sense with comedy al is one of the best ever to do comedy seen him live twice

  • @fryingpanllama4238
    @fryingpanllama4238 4 года назад +8948

    The first dude is like “Germany!”, like have you never taken a history class my dude
    Edit: calm down dudes 6K likes is too much

    • @gabegabriel9288
      @gabegabriel9288 4 года назад +578

      Or he was prompting an easy answer to get him started

    • @andreytripleh
      @andreytripleh 4 года назад +190

      Then the next 2 guys say Argentina (almost the most recent example) and France.....

    • @CFox.7
      @CFox.7 4 года назад +139

      they are planted in the audience to set the ball rolling.

    • @georgecarmody8731
      @georgecarmody8731 4 года назад +179

      Frying Pan Llama do you honestly think England defeated Germany in ww2, they were absolutely demolished, But the brits still go on about Dunkirk and how fantastic they were. It was literally a mass retreat. The Americans had to step in to save them.

    • @Bullet-Tooth-Tony-
      @Bullet-Tooth-Tony- 4 года назад +18

      @Liam C Nope.

  • @TheOrangex88
    @TheOrangex88 4 года назад +2508

    I love that when they bring up America and Canada he basically says
    “It didn’t count” lmao

    • @unovasfinest2623
      @unovasfinest2623 4 года назад +76

      USA is 1-1-0 to UK. Just saying

    • @zacharyfelder6604
      @zacharyfelder6604 4 года назад +48

      @Zeus 2nd best country the first is sealand

    • @eatenjaguar9854
      @eatenjaguar9854 4 года назад +54

      @@zacharyfelder6604 no the first best is petoria get your fucking facts straight

    • @Gabriel-re6tf
      @Gabriel-re6tf 4 года назад +39

      Well they owned Canada and they have the Queen's face on their money so that's kind of a win my dude

    • @bcnkng
      @bcnkng 4 года назад +17

      USA is 2-0 to the UK, this man is crazy

  • @MrDHCrockett
    @MrDHCrockett 4 года назад +1247

    ᵀʰᵉʸ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵍᵒᵗ ᴱᵗʰᶦᵒᵖᶦᵃ.

    • @lenzschwarze
      @lenzschwarze 4 года назад +25

      Italy did

    • @Pondo11037
      @Pondo11037 4 года назад +14

      @@lenzschwarze Italy got Eritrea, which is a separate country.

    • @bugofcake
      @bugofcake 4 года назад +65

      Bethel Mesfun Italy did get Ethiopia, Abyssinian Crisis 1935

    • @Pondo11037
      @Pondo11037 4 года назад +4

      @@bugofcake wait you're right

    • @lenzschwarze
      @lenzschwarze 4 года назад +12

      @@Pondo11037 italy got eritrea, somalia, libya and abissinia (ethiopia)

  • @user-py2nw8bp1i
    @user-py2nw8bp1i Год назад +11

    POV: the history teacher forgets it’s a school night and does 4 lines of crack at 2 am

  • @El_Guapo98
    @El_Guapo98 4 года назад +806

    **Country minding their own business**
    Britain: it’s free real estate

    • @dragzgaming
      @dragzgaming 3 года назад

      Hardly minding their own business. Spain and France started it first. We thought we should give them a head start

    • @Rhubba
      @Rhubba 2 года назад

      If Britain attacked you then you probably did something wrong.

  • @skycrafter2042
    @skycrafter2042 4 года назад +1186

    You invaded our country
    Uk.:do you know how little that narrows it down?

    • @SeriesofClu
      @SeriesofClu 4 года назад +6

      That’s jokes

    • @mondoma9861
      @mondoma9861 4 года назад +5

      UK really did get around

    • @SeriesofClu
      @SeriesofClu 4 года назад +7

      Will Manley we are the equivalent of “hi I’m your new neighbour”

    • @555gamester
      @555gamester 4 года назад +7

      "You took everything from me" I don't even know who you are.

    • @howdidigethere544
      @howdidigethere544 4 года назад

      @@SeriesofClu how did you end up here go work on part 6

  • @mitcharan6747
    @mitcharan6747 4 года назад +2892

    Why didn’t anyone say Afghanistan, he would’ve lost lmao

    • @thisguy4603
      @thisguy4603 4 года назад +46

      Nah that was just an away day

    • @azraelkahn1836
      @azraelkahn1836 4 года назад +375

      @Pasha Staravoitau if you have to say it like that they lost

    • @bumkiss
      @bumkiss 4 года назад +163

      @Pasha Staravoitau if that's the case then America didn't exactly lose in Vietnam.

    • @cledon.
      @cledon. 4 года назад +5

      @Kezzban pretty sure they invaded Normandy in ww2 ;)

    • @someguy5815
      @someguy5815 4 года назад +1

      Or America

  • @knighthunter1791
    @knighthunter1791 11 месяцев назад +10

    For my Filipino bros.
    Just like when Al Murray said the British defeated Spain with the Battle of the Armada in 1588, The Brits defeated the Philippines through Spain, not only through the Battle of the Armada, but also when British troops and its Navy sailed from the British Raj, and took control of Manila and Cavite from Spain during the Seven Years' War, in 1762 to 1764.

    • @sarenartanis1752
      @sarenartanis1752 20 дней назад

      But they were expelled using guerrillas and they lose more soldiers and money than the spaniards after left Manila lol 😂

  • @noproblem2333
    @noproblem2333 4 года назад +1587

    Guy: Peru!
    Speaker: What language do they speak in Peru?
    Guy: pOrTUguESe

    • @nickchristensen8945
      @nickchristensen8945 4 года назад +38

      Ethiopia was well armed and had a ruling family, Italy used chemical weapons and superior armaments to target and destroy strategic assets and depose the monarchy

    • @irieite9666
      @irieite9666 4 года назад +18

      @@nickchristensen8945 Yeah but what happened in the end?
      The Living God H.I.M. Haille Selassie was immortalized in Bob Marleys music while Mussolini was murdered by his own people.

    • @anonymousanonymous6657
      @anonymousanonymous6657 4 года назад +2

      Bruh.

    • @dazeen9591
      @dazeen9591 4 года назад +1

      @@irieite9666 I thought Mussolini hanged himself near a gas station lmao.

    • @maxhydekyle2425
      @maxhydekyle2425 4 года назад +5

      @@nickchristensen8945 *They never got Ethiopia*

  • @Melaheidi
    @Melaheidi 2 года назад +5860

    I wanted someone to yell out "Iceland" so badly.
    The cod war was the UKs most devistating defeat, apart from the 2016 euro cup.

    • @suuvuu
      @suuvuu 2 года назад +39

      Bro same

    • @andriusgimbutas3723
      @andriusgimbutas3723 2 года назад +591

      Iceland was occupied by UK during WW2
      But if it doesn't count, than multiple Danish defeats at the time when Iceland was Danish do

    • @joaovitorcunha7029
      @joaovitorcunha7029 2 года назад +194

      The UK occupied Iceland in WW2 to prevent Germany from occupying it, ironic I know. But the point is that he would have counted this as a win for sure, since the icelandic government was against the invasion until the british set foot on the island, thats when Iceland basically did nothing to stop it.

    • @danielogsemen7874
      @danielogsemen7874 2 года назад +15

      Uk have defeated Iceland multiple times, cod war wasnt the only one

    • @scootergrant8683
      @scootergrant8683 2 года назад +37

      I am curious to see what he would say to Mongolia.

  • @robertchaney2704
    @robertchaney2704 4 года назад +2669

    United States: “You call that a defeat, we call that a lucky fkn escape!”
    Can’t blame you there man 😂

    • @SpiderconPrime
      @SpiderconPrime 4 года назад +103

      Seriously by all statistical outlooks america shouldve been wiped off the face of the earth

    • @donwackyaids1771
      @donwackyaids1771 4 года назад +14

      Spidercon Prime France did it

    • @assassin_rk42
      @assassin_rk42 4 года назад +13

      @pinkchicken and 300,000 Continental Troops.

    • @assassin_rk42
      @assassin_rk42 4 года назад +1

      @pinkchicken :3

    • @chiefhanlon5450
      @chiefhanlon5450 4 года назад +14

      @pinkchicken and the Dutch, everyone always forgets the Dutch, they had a navy the size of France and Britain combined at the time which made it the most powerful nation in the ocean.

  • @stevenwilson5177
    @stevenwilson5177 7 месяцев назад +2

    Dudes an Oxford educated history graduate, btw 😏
    pub landlord is just his character of a patriotic barman from London.

  • @Izaakuk
    @Izaakuk 4 года назад +1677

    Why are people taking this seriously? You do know he is a comedian right?

    • @Rex-X-Dark
      @Rex-X-Dark 4 года назад +19

      Brittan did do all this

    • @anenemystand5582
      @anenemystand5582 4 года назад +40

      I think the war for penguins made that clear

    • @awakenow7147
      @awakenow7147 4 года назад +11

      This isn't that far from the truth.

    • @princeprocrastinate6485
      @princeprocrastinate6485 4 года назад +22

      A lot of sensitive insecure people who don't understand comedy around these days.

    • @anenemystand5582
      @anenemystand5582 4 года назад +9

      @@princeprocrastinate6485 no mostly it's people not finding jokes funny. See if your a good comedian you'll make people laugh not boo.

  • @kendee4421
    @kendee4421 4 года назад +2293

    To all those who dont think this is just a character Al plays, this shows the true knowledge and genius of the Oxford graduate behind the Guv'nor!

    • @AdastraRecordings
      @AdastraRecordings 4 года назад +9

      His 3 part show on Germany made that very clear.

    • @Twirlyhead
      @Twirlyhead 4 года назад +2

      Genius ? I like the guy, but

    • @vulgarresponse7080
      @vulgarresponse7080 4 года назад +8

      @British Teeth we conquered you paddies in 1169, so there Frank.

    • @niallmurphy4997
      @niallmurphy4997 4 года назад +1

      @@vulgarresponse7080 Yeah but the Paddies are a republic now, so that didn't last. I am a plastic Paddy myself. My parents took leave of their senses and moved to England before I was born. However I did vote to leave the EU.

    • @Harley_the_Sosig
      @Harley_the_Sosig 4 года назад +6

      @Chris Jonhson is he a millionaire? 😂 I'm sure that's not the only thing you got wrong

  • @killbynumber
    @killbynumber 4 года назад +2600

    As someone thats loved beer and military history, this was porn

    • @johnjingleheimerschmitt9356
      @johnjingleheimerschmitt9356 4 года назад +7

      Taylor Baldwin don’t quit your day job then because if you believe England defeated Germany you know nothing about history lol

    • @ihatetrainyards4859
      @ihatetrainyards4859 4 года назад +40

      @@johnjingleheimerschmitt9356 What are you babbling about sir? his comment just expressed that he enjoyed the video and you had to barge in here with your riff-raff behaviour.

    • @rojavabashur6455
      @rojavabashur6455 4 года назад +2

      You never defeated Sweden....while we invaded you. Sweden has never been invaded....

    • @sniff_3512
      @sniff_3512 4 года назад +4

      Rojava Bashur it wasn’t Sweden it was the vikings

    • @rojavabashur6455
      @rojavabashur6455 4 года назад

      @@sniff_3512 Same thing.

  • @FredrickDouglass69
    @FredrickDouglass69 Год назад +19

    He needs to bring out a book where he gos through every country in alphabetical order.

  • @MrGilRoland
    @MrGilRoland 4 года назад +1196

    Roman Empire called, they said they want to play this game with you.

    • @solid8535
      @solid8535 4 года назад +47

      british left the chat

    • @ethanadams1165
      @ethanadams1165 4 года назад +7

      I think that goes along the same lines of Italians pal

    • @kevinbjorkman7225
      @kevinbjorkman7225 4 года назад +58

      @@ethanadams1165 lmao, the roman empire is not the same as modern italy.

    • @ethanadams1165
      @ethanadams1165 4 года назад +10

      @@kevinbjorkman7225 the joke went right over your head didnt it?

    • @ryanbarth863
      @ryanbarth863 4 года назад +39

      Ethan Adams or it was a shitty joke

  • @pablodavidclavijo4609
    @pablodavidclavijo4609 4 года назад +1713

    He's actually a historian, as you could have guessed

    • @moneymandan6217
      @moneymandan6217 4 года назад +5

      À

    • @ivanland3789
      @ivanland3789 4 года назад +36

      I fact-checked the startling claim "We (Great Britain/United Kingdom) have defeated every single f***ing country in the world at war." And there are 92 countries Great Britain/United Kingdom has not "defeated" "at war." I put them all into a document. docs.google.com/document/d/1634G1H18_gteDFu3nvDnCdA8lOE7S9nxt41h9iXWvd4/edit?usp=sharing

    • @owenmills1596
      @owenmills1596 4 года назад +66

      @@ivanland3789 bet your fun at parties. He is a comedian

    • @ivanland3789
      @ivanland3789 4 года назад +15

      @@owenmills1596 Yup. A comedian who was completely wrong about everything. It was a good bit tho.

    • @owenmills1596
      @owenmills1596 4 года назад +61

      @@ivanland3789 but he wasnt completely wrong. He just bent some facts to make the joke. Like war of independence, technicality we lost but he made it sound as if we won by losing. Especially with today's america

  • @metawarp7446
    @metawarp7446 4 года назад +504

    "Finland!"
    _"Finland?_ That's a made-up cuontry!"

    • @a1pher
      @a1pher 4 года назад +13

      The Soviets got their asses handed to them by the finnish, my guy.

    • @raskolnikov7049
      @raskolnikov7049 4 года назад +14

      @Dwarov 1 crashed and crashed. There were no economy here. We were just farmers and lumberjacks. Sometimes at the same time.

    • @raskolnikov7049
      @raskolnikov7049 4 года назад +12

      @Dwarov 1 ''crashed the finnish economy'' you said. I said that there was not much to crash

    • @raskolnikov7049
      @raskolnikov7049 4 года назад

      @Dwarov 1 very true

    • @TheSuspectOnFoot
      @TheSuspectOnFoot 4 года назад +5

      @Dwarov 1 30 % of economy? You mean state budget, GDP or some other measurable figure? The greatest losses in the war were blood and soil. The land loss was "only" 10% but that included the best part of Finland.
      The reparations actually helped us as the process required the expansion of steel industry which was one major reason the country managed to not only get back to its' pre-war stage but greatly beyond.

  • @simongee8928
    @simongee8928 5 месяцев назад +2

    Putting his claim factually, of the 193 countries listed by the UN, Britain has invaded or fought conflicts in 171 of them. That's about 93%, so he's not far off the mark.

  • @the21herald
    @the21herald 4 года назад +1195

    Ah, so you're a historian. Name every year.

    • @soonerintexas.3845
      @soonerintexas.3845 4 года назад +3

      😂

    • @renatoimperatori5289
      @renatoimperatori5289 4 года назад +56

      Oh boy, here we go.... 1(BCE) ,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17.....

    • @fntatn
      @fntatn 3 года назад +5

      The most underrated comment I have ever seen.

    • @heleneardleytaylor25
      @heleneardleytaylor25 3 года назад

      About 5 billion bce - present

    • @owenpalmer5281
      @owenpalmer5281 3 года назад +2

      Felisberto matador de raposa technically no, because BCE is reverse, it doesn’t start at 1

  • @sportsnut198
    @sportsnut198 4 года назад +2353

    This was impressive. The roundabout ways to victory made it even better.

  • @gavery5027
    @gavery5027 2 года назад +2026

    Being funny when you’ve got a set to deliver is one thing. Being funny when you have no idea what country you’re going to be talking about next is another level. He’s sharp.

    • @dmrknbld
      @dmrknbld 2 года назад +9

      The fact that Britain history is full of colonialism and terrorism and this British guy tells the civilizations they have f*cked up, with a smile on his face, is funnier. more of a trajicomedy than "comedy"

    • @flyingdart9819
      @flyingdart9819 2 года назад +1

      @@dmrknbld well, dark humor is a thing ya know

    • @lancetheking7524
      @lancetheking7524 2 года назад +10

      @@flyingdart9819 and it's damn brilliant

    • @flyingdart9819
      @flyingdart9819 2 года назад +1

      @@lancetheking7524 agree

    • @theguywithsomething8634
      @theguywithsomething8634 2 года назад +14

      @@dmrknbld It's hardly supposed to be a deep and meaningful examination of how British influence has both positively and (mostly) negatively affected the world, it's a quick comedic bit in which he flexes his knowledge of world history to support his comedic reasoning for how the British have beaten every country in a war at some point or another.

  • @methanedirigible
    @methanedirigible 4 месяца назад +2

    And you can tell the non-Brits by how seriously they take this satirical stand-up comedy 🤦‍♂️

  • @renni9813
    @renni9813 4 года назад +1672

    Person: *names country Great Britain hasnt defeated*
    This guy: ah one person from that country lost to me in the card game war, so basically we have defeated them.

    • @alfredorotondo
      @alfredorotondo 4 года назад +32

      Actually butan was never been invaded in its history

    • @icicleman0479
      @icicleman0479 4 года назад +6

      He's a comedian. Keep your panties out of a bunch

    • @SubjectiveFunny
      @SubjectiveFunny 4 года назад

      He is a comic ffs...

    • @renni9813
      @renni9813 4 года назад

      @@icicleman0479 It was a joke, im really sorry I offended you.

    • @andrewosborn4338
      @andrewosborn4338 4 года назад +1

      I wish someone wouldve said Switzerland

  • @firstnamelastname6227
    @firstnamelastname6227 3 года назад +5845

    Lighten up, hell I'm an American and I think this is hilarious. Man knows his stuff, I can commend that.

    • @mysticdawn7569
      @mysticdawn7569 3 года назад +97

      Finally, someone in the comments with some sense

    • @phoebejones2070
      @phoebejones2070 3 года назад +17

      He went to Oxford.

    • @mihirv2574
      @mihirv2574 3 года назад +27

      Well, not exactly. Burkina Faso was never a German colony.

    • @insomnia_cow9970
      @insomnia_cow9970 3 года назад +15

      Same brother. I hate ignorant Americans who think we kicked Great Britain’s Arse. We got lucky our founding fathers we’re just as crazy... but cheers 🍻

    • @HailieSelassII020
      @HailieSelassII020 3 года назад +21

      He called burkina faso a german colony which they where not, they where a french colony. Easy to win arguments if you pull stuff out of your ars

  • @alexmarissens4016
    @alexmarissens4016 4 года назад +889

    Uganda wasn't part of the German empire, he confuses it with Tanzania. Burkina Faso was part of the French empire so it was never conquered by the British empire.

    • @Ricci9170
      @Ricci9170 4 года назад +63

      Don't make the people of Uganda mad coz you get em Ugandan knuckles

    • @ceoofwalls6751
      @ceoofwalls6751 4 года назад +25

      Does United Kingdom liberation of Burkina Faso count I’m pretty sure that Uganda was part of British empire.

    • @Arcaryon
      @Arcaryon 4 года назад +17

      France was allied to England and liberated during the second world war, as we have established, being an ally to the UK counts as being defeated AND if you re-establish the nation you might even have to give it to them afterall.

    • @iowsiam492
      @iowsiam492 4 года назад +6

      The british empire beat france, therfore they beat the french colonies, just see his answer to Peru

    • @perpetualsystems
      @perpetualsystems 4 года назад +3

      Tirewrench They never defeated France when they had that colony. Britain has never invaded Burkina Faso, thus confirming that Britain has not, in fact, defeated every country in the world. The same applies to Thailand, Philippines, Ethiopia, the Balkans, Eastern Europe, etc.

  • @solemnace
    @solemnace 11 месяцев назад +2

    *"Used to be vikings, now they're Norwegians. That's a fucking collapse, isn't it?"*

  • @jchen8902
    @jchen8902 4 года назад +1937

    Managed to get a surrender? *we've won*
    Signed a peace treaty? *we've won*
    Defeated their colonizers? *we've won*
    Never even fought them before? *we've won*
    Lost to them??? *WE'VE WON*

    • @KraisonFrameworks
      @KraisonFrameworks 4 года назад +98

      THERE IS NO LOSS IN MY VOCABULARY

    • @aidentate5567
      @aidentate5567 4 года назад +118

      We Americans learned from the best

    • @kellerweskier7214
      @kellerweskier7214 4 года назад +94

      Lost? we didn't lose, we merely failed to win!

    • @erikho6936
      @erikho6936 4 года назад +49

      @@kellerweskier7214 We didn't lose in Vietnam! It was a tactical retreat!

    • @space_racc
      @space_racc 4 года назад +22

      @@erikho6936 Its the equivalent of stopping a fight because your wife says no sexy time if you keep beating the other guys ass 😂

  • @DoomDeer
    @DoomDeer 4 года назад +1620

    We have defeated all them countries! - north Vietnam farmers: that’s cute.

    • @blakedavis2447
      @blakedavis2447 4 года назад +77

      Well if I were him I would point out how they were part of the French empire and I refer to my previous statement

    • @zizan2071
      @zizan2071 4 года назад +8

      Russian Federation: *laughing in nukes*

    • @sidious69
      @sidious69 4 года назад

      What about portugal

    • @shep7544
      @shep7544 4 года назад +8

      Vietnam belonged to France when England beat them.

    • @atillathehun8831
      @atillathehun8831 4 года назад +2

      @yeoldebiggetee Operations arent wars

  • @Ronnock
    @Ronnock 4 года назад +2783

    I'm surprised no one asked about Vietnam or Afghanistan.

    • @josephkane2312
      @josephkane2312 4 года назад +183

      Or Ireland

    • @SBImNotWritingMyNameHere
      @SBImNotWritingMyNameHere 4 года назад +266

      Should have asked Switzerland
      The ultimate neutral country

    • @SBImNotWritingMyNameHere
      @SBImNotWritingMyNameHere 4 года назад +38

      @@josephkane2312
      Should have asked Switzerland
      The ultimate neutral country

    • @m0her_2
      @m0her_2 4 года назад +32

      @@SBImNotWritingMyNameHere not that ultimate... Remember that time when the French crown buy some swiss mercenaries to protect herself from a bunch of parisians protesters who came to Versailles to ask for f*cking bread ? They should've eat some brioche instead !! >

    • @Snowcrash35
      @Snowcrash35 4 года назад +26

      Or mongolia

  • @Pilotfox123
    @Pilotfox123 10 месяцев назад +9

    I don't think England ever had a war against Poland, but they sure as hell let Poland down against the germans, so if he sees a lack of support as a victory i guess they won against Poland too
    Edit: according to google Poland and England did indeed never have a direct war with eachother, but they were at some point on opposing sides of a war and Polish troops landed on english soil and "ransacked atleast one city".

    • @deangreen2567
      @deangreen2567 8 месяцев назад

      England let Poland down how exactly?

    • @mrsentencename7334
      @mrsentencename7334 6 месяцев назад +1

      ⁠@@deangreen2567because they made a silly promise to protect them from Germany while being on the other side of Europe, thereby starting ww2, and after the war it fell into the hands of the Soviets. Can’t blame the British though, they’re not all powerful.

    • @deangreen2567
      @deangreen2567 6 месяцев назад +4

      @@mrsentencename7334 No, they didn’t. Britain (and France) made a promise to intervene and go to war with Germany should Germany launch an invasion campaign against Poland. The word ‘protect’ was never used, as Britain and France were not in a position to protect a country larger than their own, halfway across the European continent. Britain and France kept their promise, and entered the conflict as soon as Hitler turned his attention to Poland. Not to mention that the Soviet Union had invaded Poland from the other side, which only complicated the issue from the perspective of the British and French - who STILL entered the conflict to keep their promise with Poland regardless.

  • @Wooktent
    @Wooktent 4 года назад +1262

    "They see that as a win, we see that as a really lucky escape" I mean, he's not wrong

    • @alfiegrimsey9577
      @alfiegrimsey9577 4 года назад +7

      Graf von Lotzing ever heard of a joke

    • @Wooktent
      @Wooktent 4 года назад +2

      @Graf von Lotzing r/wooosh

    • @5gfriesyourbrain563
      @5gfriesyourbrain563 4 года назад +2

      @Graf von Lotzing the rothschilds own the banks

    • @devonishigh
      @devonishigh 4 года назад +4

      @@5gfriesyourbrain563 and they are owned by the queen

    • @clutzxy3683
      @clutzxy3683 4 года назад

      ANZACS VS TURKEY

  • @malcolmthorne9779
    @malcolmthorne9779 4 года назад +3477

    Hr-hrm... Remember that time when we scandinavians turned half of britain into a colony of ours? Good times.

    • @Whiskypapa
      @Whiskypapa 4 года назад +157

      Lots of english words come from the norse language when we used britain as our personal plunder and rape holiday spot in the viking age. For example “bag” which comes from “bagge”. And now, we skandis (at least most of us) have gone full circle and adopted the word “bag” back again.

    • @bjrnbrkmo2335
      @bjrnbrkmo2335 4 года назад +179

      The Swedish-Norwegian kingdom sided with Napoleon.... and you know how that went...

    • @cjknowsyou
      @cjknowsyou 4 года назад +140

      No. I don't remember that. Is that the equivalent to "i was a great ball player in high school".

    • @NicoBlack69
      @NicoBlack69 4 года назад +18

      There's an anime about that......

    • @m2trappy530
      @m2trappy530 4 года назад +49

      Which we then broke away from and arguably ended the Viking era in 1066. But still respect the last kingdom and Vikings was a very good watch

  • @pigman526gaming2
    @pigman526gaming2 3 года назад +2285

    Him: name a country
    Me: Vietnam
    Him: sweats profusely

    • @noahpimentel9341
      @noahpimentel9341 3 года назад +453

      Vietnam was a French colony. Since the brits won against France, might aswell call it a victory for the uk

    • @nhanbui2707
      @nhanbui2707 3 года назад +147

      @@noahpimentel9341 actually the French only started invading Vietnam in 1858, way after Waterloo. However; right after WW2 the Brits did land on Vietnamese soil to accept the surrender of the Japanese troops there.

    • @TM-bk3ok
      @TM-bk3ok 3 года назад +28

      Vietnam was on a technicality a Japanese territory during WW2 right?

    • @juanpaco3226
      @juanpaco3226 3 года назад +9

      Imagine if someone said Israel

    • @TM-bk3ok
      @TM-bk3ok 3 года назад +29

      @@juanpaco3226 well on a technicality most of Israel is Palestine. And we helped Israel to invade Palestine. So according to the logic that this comedian is following you could count that.

  • @AdaManny555
    @AdaManny555 Год назад +4

    The one about Norway was bullshit tho’. Scandinavians still technically own their asses

  • @spiritualfoxplays-tryhardp2284
    @spiritualfoxplays-tryhardp2284 4 года назад +1248

    English teacher: The listening test won't be that hard.
    The listening test:

    • @prodydy2738
      @prodydy2738 4 года назад +24

      @Allen Jinu the accent is hard to understand for non - brits

    • @katakurithecalamity9840
      @katakurithecalamity9840 4 года назад +3

      @Allen Jinu yeah when you are not english then yeah it is very hard to understand without the subtitle after all we are not used to it

    • @Sh4d891
      @Sh4d891 4 года назад +1

      @@katakurithecalamity9840 well i can understand it pretty well

    • @bhministry
      @bhministry 4 года назад +5

      @@prodydy2738 As a Canadian, not difficult at all - especially compared to some of the accents that come out of rural scotland and ireland

    • @Fohlers
      @Fohlers 4 года назад +4

      @@prodydy2738 as a german. I understood everything

  • @jesperj1750
    @jesperj1750 4 года назад +1699

    He couldn’t give an answer on Norway, could he... One of three countries that actually invaded
    britain... ..succsessfully.

    • @AbyssWatcher745
      @AbyssWatcher745 4 года назад +94

      Battle of stamford bridge though

    • @overjee
      @overjee 4 года назад +75

      Yep. Stamford bridge :(

    • @m0n4rch24
      @m0n4rch24 4 года назад +70

      Stamford bridge- when we killed their king

    • @mrcaboosevg6089
      @mrcaboosevg6089 4 года назад +61

      Invading and winning are distinctly separate things

    • @overjee
      @overjee 4 года назад +32

      @@mrcaboosevg6089 As for invading, britain tried to invade Norway during the napoleonic wars, though every landing as far as I know was beaten back

  • @basedbattledroid3507
    @basedbattledroid3507 4 года назад +267

    I love that depressed "oh" after that bloke is told "no they speak spanish in peru" by this heavily intoxicated textbook.

  • @ZaydDepaor
    @ZaydDepaor 9 месяцев назад +1

    He's like Damien (The Anti-Christ) in The Omen Part2 answering all the historical questions of the teacher.

  • @theyoutubeguy1
    @theyoutubeguy1 4 года назад +1410

    Clearly some people in these comments don't know what a joke is.

    • @theKJgame
      @theKJgame 4 года назад +26

      But it ain't a joke though, Britain did do all this.

    • @jackdidathing3716
      @jackdidathing3716 4 года назад +7

      It’s not a joke it’s a comedy set

    • @daedra1175
      @daedra1175 4 года назад +3

      Gotta love the Commonwealth, once and Empire always an Empire.

    • @dharmang
      @dharmang 4 года назад +1

      When someone like yourself can't justify what a joke and a defeated country on war is like 🤦‍♂️

    • @pascaly-p7357
      @pascaly-p7357 4 года назад

      No actually I don't think that was clear at all.

  • @cheersen
    @cheersen 3 года назад +933

    Jesus Christ these comments. He’s a COMEDIAN. It’s the whole point😂

    • @simontuffen8243
      @simontuffen8243 3 года назад +39

      Safe to say we beat every country at having a sense of humour.

    • @georgerobert4709
      @georgerobert4709 3 года назад +5

      You obviously don't understand the english psyche. Most people see these as jokes they think it's a history lesson !!

    • @newleif9739
      @newleif9739 3 года назад +2

      Your comment is my safe space among the other idiotic comments 😆

    • @thenorthstarsamurai
      @thenorthstarsamurai 3 года назад

      As a Japanese I will allow this because it's funny and anything that's actually funny is good

    • @dhruvnagori3795
      @dhruvnagori3795 3 года назад

      No it's not
      Being a comedian or whatever he is doing doesn't give u licence to give partial view of recorded history

  • @jesuschristislord7754
    @jesuschristislord7754 4 года назад +448

    What kind of job do you think you'll get with a history degree?
    This guy:

    • @jackj9816
      @jackj9816 4 года назад +1

      I wonder that my self

    • @jesuschristislord7754
      @jesuschristislord7754 4 года назад +2

      @@jackj9816 - you could do what he does and spice up the library.

    • @jackj9816
      @jackj9816 4 года назад

      Diksaca Yehovah true haha

  • @Medicalstench
    @Medicalstench Год назад +8

    Imagine if he became the new defense against the dark arts teacher

  • @dw5523
    @dw5523 4 года назад +113

    “War of Independence...we call that a lucky f*ckin escape.” Absolutely hilarious!🤣🤣🤣

  • @armahpruski5877
    @armahpruski5877 3 года назад +1458

    For Canada, he could've gone
    "Ya know Quebec, it's part of Canada now. We took it over some 3 hundred years in the fields of Abraham.
    So technically, we've beaten Canada before it even was country, ANOTHER!"

    • @tomevans9773
      @tomevans9773 3 года назад +34

      You forgot the emphasis on another, it's spelt "Anuva"

    • @Robodog334
      @Robodog334 3 года назад +10

      true, and the Brits kicked the french out of majority of Canada, that's why only Quebec speaks french. Cause Brits didn't kick french out of Quebec as it's originally a French colony

    • @Robodog334
      @Robodog334 3 года назад

      @Top Secret but the Brits still destroyed the French and kicked them out of most of Canada so yk

    • @ryeguy7941
      @ryeguy7941 3 года назад +2

      @@Robodog334 you'd be suprised the amount of French speakers in northern Ontario.

    • @harrycooper5231
      @harrycooper5231 2 года назад +1

      @@Robodog334 New Brunswick speaks French.

  • @sfoster.23
    @sfoster.23 4 года назад +454

    ‘What language does they speak in Peru?’
    ‘Portuguese’
    ‘No, Spanish’
    ‘Oh.’ 😂

    • @TheOne-Aslan
      @TheOne-Aslan 4 года назад +12

      An actual intellectual: "Peruian"

    • @OIlegaul
      @OIlegaul 4 года назад +10

      The guy who said portuguese is really stupid omg

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino 4 года назад +14

      @@OIlegaul don't call him stupid. He just wasn't sure.

    • @TheOne-Aslan
      @TheOne-Aslan 4 года назад

      @@Skgoesalltheway If you're talking to me, perhaps take a deep breath and realize I was making a joke.

    • @michaelhawkins7389
      @michaelhawkins7389 3 года назад +2

      @@OIlegaul well to be fair Peru is not a very popular country or as well know as some other countrys

  • @luminescentlion
    @luminescentlion 10 месяцев назад +3

    They didn't even try to give him hard ones. Germany???? That one was free.

  • @raizereaper4697
    @raizereaper4697 3 года назад +1116

    The British Empire legit just saw Australia and was like we’ll dump our prisoners there

    • @Xorthane
      @Xorthane 3 года назад +31

      Used to be america before they conquered Australia and then used it for prisoners...

    • @dragzgaming
      @dragzgaming 3 года назад

      America didnt want any more at the time 🤣

    • @dragzgaming
      @dragzgaming 3 года назад +5

      @Alan Patridge 1770 captain James cook claimed the west coast of Australia (new south Wales) in the name of the crown. Fist come first serve job done.
      Learn all about it in Peter pan 😉

    • @mufflersponge8969
      @mufflersponge8969 3 года назад +7

      @@dragzgaming New South Wales is on the East Coast mate

    • @aguspuig6615
      @aguspuig6615 3 года назад +1

      @@Xorthane explains alot

  • @kob6912
    @kob6912 4 года назад +863

    14 April: Coronavirus declares itself a country
    15 April: UK defeats Coronavirus in war

    • @tristanlj3409
      @tristanlj3409 4 года назад +9

      Well you're surely losing that war.

    • @kob6912
      @kob6912 4 года назад +10

      Tristan LJ it’s not a fucking country yet is it lad?

    • @normalplayer7377
      @normalplayer7377 4 года назад +4

      @@tristanlj3409 And makes it an Overseas Territory

    • @tristanlj3409
      @tristanlj3409 4 года назад +2

      @@kob6912 well, it's been the 15th of April hasn't it, lad?

    • @kob6912
      @kob6912 4 года назад +5

      Tristan LJ it’s also been the 14th and it didn’t declar itself a country. Allow it man

  • @bubswildchild
    @bubswildchild 4 года назад +639

    I hope he doesn’t set questions for history exams.

    • @artemisx3316
      @artemisx3316 4 года назад +28

      Why? On the contrary, it would make it a piece of cake... Just say "GB is the greatest country who saved the world by conquering it..." to any question...
      There ya go, A+

    • @1v1combat
      @1v1combat 3 года назад

      battle of stamford bridge we defeated the vikings

  • @abdullahalibutler4703
    @abdullahalibutler4703 Год назад +5

    Clever and witty, very entertaining!

  • @CutcliffePaul
    @CutcliffePaul 4 года назад +1181

    I love it when comedians project a persona that seems, well, stupid and ignorant, when, in fact that couldn’t be further from the truth... e.g. Al Murray, Jim Jefferies etc.

    • @theduke7539
      @theduke7539 4 года назад +1

      You do know what google and the process of cramming for an exam is right?

    • @CN-wt2bj
      @CN-wt2bj 4 года назад +5

      This guy is very punchable.

    • @cabletie69
      @cabletie69 4 года назад +16

      Yep. Apart from Jim Jeffries.

    • @CutcliffePaul
      @CutcliffePaul 4 года назад

      cabletie69 Do you mean you think Jim Jefferies actually is stupid or ignorant?

    • @peterc0358
      @peterc0358 4 года назад +18

      @@CutcliffePaul jim jeffries is a scumbag

  • @cowboymooman8776
    @cowboymooman8776 4 года назад +907

    He's pretty good with his history. but Uganda and Burkina Faso were never german. Uganda was close to german east africa but Burkina faso was very french

    • @joshscott5
      @joshscott5 4 года назад +198

      Indian Slats it’s a comment section to comment about the video that’s what he’s doing he didn’t need you to ask for him to comment

    • @jaydon232
      @jaydon232 4 года назад +63

      Davey so are u

    • @player_182
      @player_182 4 года назад +4

      @@jaydon232 he is too but did he lie ? XD

    • @jaydon232
      @jaydon232 4 года назад +4

      Dewiacyjny never said he did XD

    • @haz486
      @haz486 4 года назад

      Indian Slats yo when?

  • @spellobot
    @spellobot 4 года назад +321

    Well, i think the British never defeated Portugal, because of their alliance.
    Oh wait, being allies means that Portugal already lost...

    • @bigtuga4ever
      @bigtuga4ever 4 года назад +20

      Actually the invincible armada was comprised mainly of Portuguese ships and seamen thanks to the Iberian Union at that time in effect. And Portugal and England were indeed at war at the time.
      The Portuguese did pack quite the punch actually and eventually broke off from the Spanish yet again. Not before inflicting defeats on the Spanish, English, Dutch and French. Not to be messed with.
      Eventually they gave up all of that and focused on Bacalhau, beaches and Ronaldo.

    • @spellobot
      @spellobot 4 года назад +1

      @@bigtuga4ever wow you know more about my country than I, lol

    • @wallybonejengles5595
      @wallybonejengles5595 4 года назад +5

      I'm Portuguese-American and honestly? The more I learn about my heritage the more I learn Portugal is a really fascinating country. I'm very proud of my heritage. I heard at one time Lisbon was considered the capital of Intrigue. The country made smart and strategic alliances and maintained steady borders to this day. Dont underestimate Portugal my friends :)

    • @bigtuga4ever
      @bigtuga4ever 4 года назад +2

      @@spellobot I'm an archeologist, it's only right, stay safe you.

    • @robinpopps189
      @robinpopps189 4 года назад +2

      Yep it does

  • @skycrow9594
    @skycrow9594 Год назад +4

    when he got to scandanavia he dodged it real smooth

    • @LiamLees-md1iq
      @LiamLees-md1iq 9 месяцев назад

      Not much to dodge to be fair. Ooooooo you think the viking invasions count. How naive.

  • @angc214
    @angc214 3 года назад +374

    I was waiting for someone to shout "Vietnam", then I remembered former French colony...

    • @nickgood8166
      @nickgood8166 3 года назад +8

      Under British governance at the end of WW2 using Japanese troops under British command

    • @ripoutyourintestines5099
      @ripoutyourintestines5099 3 года назад

      @@nickgood8166 doesn't matter anyway, there were two Vietnam wars and we tore them a new asshole to the point of near extinction.

    • @intelligentpeople6533
      @intelligentpeople6533 2 года назад

      @@ripoutyourintestines5099 no the French got their arse kicked first then the good old USA had a go and got their arses kicked, everybody knows that..

    • @ripoutyourintestines5099
      @ripoutyourintestines5099 2 года назад +3

      @@intelligentpeople6533 that's exactly what I meant, funny how us Brits won their own war for them, left, then they started losing again, then the yanks got involved and they lost.

    • @sweetrolldealer
      @sweetrolldealer 2 года назад

      @@ripoutyourintestines5099 If only the civilians weren't a bunch of pussies and the higher ups not as much of fucking cocky douchebags, the U.S woulda actually had a better chance.

  • @LlamaPunchXO
    @LlamaPunchXO 4 года назад +555

    Britain: we won: Andrew Jackson: I’d beg to differ

    • @hectorventura1778
      @hectorventura1778 4 года назад

      Llameeeeee_punch

    • @firingallcylinders2949
      @firingallcylinders2949 4 года назад +2

      @Biden’s_Bro 58 that's like saying America won Vietnam...you can win every major engagement but if you gained 0 territory and your enemy is left standing you didn't win.

    • @firingallcylinders2949
      @firingallcylinders2949 4 года назад

      @yeoldebiggetee but again they gave up what is now the 3rd largest nation in the worst and most powerful so that's basically an L

    • @TheIceman567
      @TheIceman567 4 года назад

      yeoldebiggetee why the USA held southern Ontario and Lake Erie. And traded again with France when Napoleon came back to power.

    • @richardsmith2825
      @richardsmith2825 4 года назад

      Brits fighting Brits. A score draw!

  • @mariia099
    @mariia099 4 года назад +1186

    why do people take this seriously.. it’s a JOKE

    • @colonelaugust1130
      @colonelaugust1130 4 года назад +20

      well lot of ppl died mate, you dont see ppl making jokes about the holocaust at least on youtube

    • @Tensho_C
      @Tensho_C 4 года назад +97

      @@colonelaugust1130 you do tho.

    • @colonelaugust1130
      @colonelaugust1130 4 года назад +1

      @@Tensho_C but only after you thaught me

    • @mariia099
      @mariia099 4 года назад +39

      colonel august and in what part of the speech did he make fun of the people that died? lol. he was naming countries that the british empire beat.. literally world history.. if that upsets you, idk what to say.

    • @ppvsonicspy
      @ppvsonicspy 4 года назад +12

      @@colonelaugust1130 Yes you do. Why do you think comedy exists? To make us laugh at the bad things so we can live life happy instead of depressed.

  • @Ryan_Winter
    @Ryan_Winter Год назад +3

    00:06 WWII was won by the Russians, the western allies only were beneficiaries of the bitterly won victory of the USSR.
    The landing in the Normandy was a part of a race to Berlin, because Eisenhower and Churchill understood that whoever got the Germans on their side would dominate europe.
    The British obviously didn't win WWI either. If anything it was a humiliation for the British Empire.
    The Battle of Jutland was a phyrric victory at best, the Battle at the Somme didn't change anything but it cost 1 million lifes and the Battle of Gallipoli showed the world that the British Empire could be defeated by what they considered to be a thrid rate power.
    0:34 Napoleon was a former emperor at Waterloo, trying a come back, and he would have succeeded had it not been for the Prussians.
    Napoleon was defeated at the Battle of Leipzig, where no british troops were present after all.
    0:50 The Spanish-British War ended with what historians call "Status quo ante bellum", which means that the situation at the tail end was the same as before the war.
    The english and by extension the british people were soundly defeated multiple times in history, without losing to foreign powers England wouldn't exist, because the Angles were such a foreign power, as were the Saxons, the Danes and the Normans. Furthermore did the British Empire lose to the Dutch in the Second Anglo-Dutch war.