Unfortunately I had a sad situation happened with me. Two people judge me in a wrong way. Saying I was rude when I was only in trouble to communicate with them. It is heartbreaking, specially when you know you are trying to do your best, but they missed understood you. Then to make things even worse, they do talk bad about you for others because of it. 😔💔
Great video! It's true that many non-native speakers, for fear of making mistakes, end up using short and direct sentences, which native speakers find rude. It has happened to me many times.
Particularly here in England, using one word answers or short sentences can sound very rude. Always add a few extra words to sound more friendly, even if it doesn't add anything to what is being said.
I like the way you treat not just the brain, but the soul too. I love you Hadar, you are super nice and your contents are extremely helpful (and funny).
Intonation, pacing, and rhythm are so important! I'm a native English-speaker from America, and I could not understand a native-English-speaker from India at all, speaking standard business English, due entirely to his different intonation and rhythm.
Your joke in the intro (opening sequence) is worth its weight in gold! :) I have been living in Vienna as a foreigner for a long time and only one thing that happens to me is that I sometimes do not understand the intonation of the natives, from my part there is no problem...:) They don't complain about my intonation... It's possible, that they are well educated...:) THANK YOU Hadar!
I exactly sound as rude person, because I noticed people always defend when we talking. Now I found the answer in this video, i suspected my sound just wasn't sure. Thank you Hadar, you really opened my eyes and helped me a lot. Now I promise to practice more using your channel. Thank you thousands time Hadar! ❤
I am definitely the person who prefers to say 'No, I can't' and saying 'I'm so sorry, I can't because.... blah blah' sounds so fake to me, especially that if I'm not hurting a person saying that I can't do something, I don't feel sorry for it, so why saying 'I'm sorry'. I sometimes don't say 'please', especially with my family and friends, so amongst us 'Give me some water' would be totally fine, and the 'please' is implied. I guess in America I have to be fake to be polite ;) Thanks for the great video.
Thank you so much. Noted! I'm rather a "quirky and open" person, so that helps, if I'm getting surprised, have to speak English and then stutter. But I still feel uneasy in greeting-/ welcoming - situations. These "how are you" , but they're not meant to be. It's just not my thing 🫣. So I really have to be careful not to be rude, in this situation. Much love from Germany
This is one of the most helpful video that I have seen. I know that I sound rude because I'm from the North of Mexico, so my natural accent is so strong, and I don't want to send a wrong message. So thank you so much for explaining what can I do to give the right message that usually comes from the best of my intentions. This is one of the most helpful video that I have seen.
I have this issue too and I’m completely different person and attitude in my English and people always get me wrong. I really need to work on it. Thank for mentioning 😍
every time I remember 10 years ago saying to someone "do you understand?!" I cringe 😑. These issues cause misunderstanding and conflicts without even meaning to be rude.
I am usually very polite and kind. Sometimes, more than I think I should. The funny thing is that I don’t have issues when people are somewhat cold or rude to me but when they are ironic 🤔 Can you please make a video on using can vs could for more polite/kind questions ? PS: I am Brazilian and in my country we usually employ the equivalent to could (instead of can) when asking questions in a more polite way !
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 02:05 🎤 Intonation and tone of voice in American English play a significant role in how you are perceived. Different intonation patterns can be perceived as aggressive or rude. 06:11 🗣️ Cultural and habitual differences in language use can lead to unintended rudeness or directness. Softening language and using politeness strategies can improve communication. 08:12 💪 Confidence and feeling comfortable in a second language are essential for authentic communication. Embrace your humanity, show vulnerability, and allow yourself to be yourself to make genuine connections and avoid coming across as rude. Made with HARPA AI
Hi Hadar! Great video? You know? I've been perceived as angry when I wasn't IN MY OWN LANGUAGE, and often. It's because my tone: I speak with a high tone, it's natural on me because when I want to say something that really matters me, I unconsciously turn up the volume of my voice, with vehemence. That's great in my work as a teacher to project the voice, but catastrophic sometimes in short distances...
I experience the same thing! When I get passionate, or sometimes frustrated my voices tends to get stronger and people think I’m being aggressive! I always acknowledge that when I see myself getting there, and let them know this is how I speak..
I'm British so it's fascinating watching this video. "Can I get" sounds a bit odd in British England, for instance. You would be more likely to say "Could I have" instead.
Great video! Thanks for your explanation of how we connect intonation and pronunciation with our feelings without intention, and how we confuse that situation with the way we pronounce some words. In a conversation, it looks like our body language.🖐
Hello mam, i am from india, age 50, l am learning english spoken, i can speak english poorly and understand comunication between two people, i do try improve my english spoken level, i follow your class & instruction which help me lot, thank you mam and nameste for very good teaching online for us, i am very regretful to you 🙏
I used to work with a few colleagues who were all from a particular part of the USA. In restaurants, they did not say, "I would like..." or "May I have...", but simply "I want...", which is considered too direct or abrupt in my own American English dialect. "I want the salmon, and I want a green salad, and I want a beer." To my ears -- and to the ears of servers in MY region of the USA, but not when we were in THEIR region -- they sounded rude, but it turned out to be just the way that they communicated specifically to people in service. They didn't speak that way to me or to other colleagues or friends.
I had the same feelings. cuz I am a native Chinese speaker and we speak Chinese in a flat intonation. while when you come across this in English, it sounds kinda different.
Fantastic points! Perfectly on point. And oh this applies to other languages as well as some for whom English *is* their first language. Curious on your thoughts about generational differences and expectations between people of different ages?
I’ve noticed that people who speaks perfectly in their native language, I mean very grammatically correctly, tries to speak perfectly in English as well. And then feel uncomfortable and loose their confidence and sound rude
I agree that people need to be educated!!! And remember the world doesn’t revolve around certain cultures. But for my students who are immigrants, living in the U.S. this could get challenging and cost them opportunities- so we have to do what we can because yes, the world is biased.. but we still want to get what we want
See now you sound like you’re people pleasing when u intonate too much which gets just as negative of a response. You intonate your a doormat, you don’t you’re being rude. People hear what they want to hear SO ANNOYING having to constantly APPEASE people’s judgements and insecurities. It’s not our job to constantly assure people and we should be able to exist as ourselves in peace without being bombarded with people’s misperceptions. We have accents we shouldn’t have to change in order to be accepted and avoid offending simply by existing. We are allowed to be OURSELVES. People can deal with it powder their own ass… hows that for rude lol
I love your content so much But I hate so much when you start say the word and litters with this way mumu tatata fafafa Please give up this silly thing Please
Unfortunately I had a sad situation happened with me. Two people judge me in a wrong way. Saying I was rude when I was only in trouble to communicate with them. It is heartbreaking, specially when you know you are trying to do your best, but they missed understood you. Then to make things even worse, they do talk bad about you for others because of it. 😔💔
I am SO SORRY you experienced that. People can be so insensitive and unaware.
Great video! It's true that many non-native speakers, for fear of making mistakes, end up using short and direct sentences, which native speakers find rude. It has happened to me many times.
Particularly here in England, using one word answers or short sentences can sound very rude. Always add a few extra words to sound more friendly, even if it doesn't add anything to what is being said.
I like the way you treat not just the brain, but the soul too. I love you Hadar, you are super nice and your contents are extremely helpful (and funny).
Intonation, pacing, and rhythm are so important! I'm a native English-speaker from America, and I could not understand a native-English-speaker from India at all, speaking standard business English, due entirely to his different intonation and rhythm.
Your joke in the intro (opening sequence) is worth its weight in gold! :)
I have been living in Vienna as a foreigner for a long time and only one thing that happens to me is that I sometimes do not understand the intonation of the natives, from my part there is no problem...:)
They don't complain about my intonation...
It's possible, that they are well educated...:)
THANK YOU Hadar!
I exactly sound as rude person, because I noticed people always defend when we talking. Now I found the answer in this video, i suspected my sound just wasn't sure. Thank you Hadar, you really opened my eyes and helped me a lot. Now I promise to practice more using your channel. Thank you thousands time Hadar! ❤
An important and useful topic! It often happens that English learners can sound rude even though they don't intent to be rude at all.
Great topic. Usually, I don't speak too much or joke because I don't want to sound inappropriate.
I am definitely the person who prefers to say 'No, I can't' and saying 'I'm so sorry, I can't because.... blah blah' sounds so fake to me, especially that if I'm not hurting a person saying that I can't do something, I don't feel sorry for it, so why saying 'I'm sorry'. I sometimes don't say 'please', especially with my family and friends, so amongst us 'Give me some water' would be totally fine, and the 'please' is implied. I guess in America I have to be fake to be polite ;) Thanks for the great video.
It doesn't have to be fake.
You can actually mean it. 😝
Thank you so much. Noted! I'm rather a "quirky and open" person, so that helps, if I'm getting surprised, have to speak English and then stutter. But I still feel uneasy in greeting-/ welcoming - situations. These "how are you" , but they're not meant to be. It's just not my thing 🫣. So I really have to be careful not to be rude, in this situation.
Much love from Germany
This is one of the most helpful video that I have seen. I know that I sound rude because I'm from the North of Mexico, so my natural accent is so strong, and I don't want to send a wrong message. So thank you so much for explaining what can I do to give the right message that usually comes from the best of my intentions. This is one of the most helpful video that I have seen.
I have this issue too and I’m completely different person and attitude in my English and people always get me wrong. I really need to work on it. Thank for mentioning 😍
I am often perceived as rude unfortunately. Thanks for your explanation ❤ means a world to me!!!
every time I remember 10 years ago saying to someone "do you understand?!" I cringe 😑. These issues cause misunderstanding and conflicts without even meaning to be rude.
A smile always helps
The best and useful channel for studying English ever! Thanks a bunch!
Cheers !! Ur way of making it throuh ! U sorted it ! 🙂 ...
What a GREAT video from Hadar! One of the best videos I have EVER seen! 😍
I am usually very polite and kind. Sometimes, more than I think I should.
The funny thing is that I don’t have issues when people are somewhat cold or rude to me but when they are ironic 🤔
Can you please make a video on using can vs could for more polite/kind questions ?
PS: I am Brazilian and in my country we usually employ the equivalent to could (instead of can) when asking questions in a more polite way !
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
02:05 🎤 Intonation and tone of voice in American English play a significant role in how you are perceived. Different intonation patterns can be perceived as aggressive or rude.
06:11 🗣️ Cultural and habitual differences in language use can lead to unintended rudeness or directness. Softening language and using politeness strategies can improve communication.
08:12 💪 Confidence and feeling comfortable in a second language are essential for authentic communication. Embrace your humanity, show vulnerability, and allow yourself to be yourself to make genuine connections and avoid coming across as rude.
Made with HARPA AI
Hi Hadar! Great video? You know? I've been perceived as angry when I wasn't IN MY OWN LANGUAGE, and often. It's because my tone: I speak with a high tone, it's natural on me because when I want to say something that really matters me, I unconsciously turn up the volume of my voice, with vehemence. That's great in my work as a teacher to project the voice, but catastrophic sometimes in short distances...
I experience the same thing! When I get passionate, or sometimes frustrated my voices tends to get stronger and people think I’m being aggressive! I always acknowledge that when I see myself getting there, and let them know this is how I speak..
I just want to speak in a way i want, and i don't want to thinking all the time about what everyone thinking about me
I totally love your lesson
I'm British so it's fascinating watching this video. "Can I get" sounds a bit odd in British England, for instance. You would be more likely to say "Could I have" instead.
In my current work, I am perceived as rude when I ask for things or help.
This is so important!!!!
Thank you very much for all the tips you are teaching us in another one of your amazing videos.
It’s my pleasure to share this and help ❤️
Thank you Hadar, good lesson.
ótimo video,mesmo para um Brasileiro serve bastante,👍👍parabéns e obrigado. não só para Brasileiros.
Thanks ma.
Great video! Thanks for your explanation of how we connect intonation and pronunciation with our feelings without intention, and how we confuse that situation with the way we pronounce some words. In a conversation, it looks like our body language.🖐
I am always perceived as rude and agressive in English because apparently I am😅
😂
Excellent!!!
Hello mam, i am from india, age 50, l am learning english spoken, i can speak english poorly and understand comunication between two people, i do try improve my english spoken level, i follow your class & instruction which help me lot, thank you mam and nameste for very good teaching online for us, i am very regretful to you 🙏
Thank you for your work! It’s really useful❤
I used to work with a few colleagues who were all from a particular part of the USA. In restaurants, they did not say, "I would like..." or "May I have...", but simply "I want...", which is considered too direct or abrupt in my own American English dialect. "I want the salmon, and I want a green salad, and I want a beer." To my ears -- and to the ears of servers in MY region of the USA, but not when we were in THEIR region -- they sounded rude, but it turned out to be just the way that they communicated specifically to people in service. They didn't speak that way to me or to other colleagues or friends.
Yes people and some of my friends have said I'm aggressive and rude
We love you and hope you have a sweet life dear teacher...Brahim. From Marrakesh.... welcome...
I had the same feelings. cuz I am a native Chinese speaker and we speak Chinese in a flat intonation. while when you come across this in English, it sounds kinda different.
Привіт, вивчаю англійську. Дякую, дуже корисно!
What a Great video! ThAnk yoU! =)) This is a vital info!
Happy to help!
I love your videos !
100 points out of 10 at the introduction performance.
hahaha thank you!
Always beatiful and good and lovely
I'm rude 😢😂 thanks for sharing this.
Fantastic points! Perfectly on point. And oh this applies to other languages as well as some for whom English *is* their first language.
Curious on your thoughts about generational differences and expectations between people of different ages?
somtimes a smile can solve this problem. almost in all culture there are same ways to be rude or polite. this is depend on that person personaly.
that’s very true
I'm taking this back! 😂😂😂
This is much better hairstyle than previous
Hahahahaha
People say I am rude all th time. English is my first language.
I’ve noticed that people who speaks perfectly in their native language, I mean very grammatically correctly, tries to speak perfectly in English as well. And then feel uncomfortable and loose their confidence and sound rude
❤ nice
Hi, in português is the same, the intonation is very impotyant
Gd job ❤❤❤
Good luck for all
what is the real meaning of picth , i could not understand its meaning correctly
I like the sketch 😂
Sometimes people refer to New Yorkers as rude, however, we are not!
People think I'm rude even in my native tongue. Now, I'm a bit scared.
Well, don’t be. Ultimately what matters is your real intention! And with awareness you can be more sensitive to such situations
An American woman was like what are you saying when I said direct instead of dee-rect
I'm always perceived as rude and aggressive in my native language...
i would like to say that you are very interested person to me. I ❤ You so much
Thank you!
I think, kids speak usually straight like "I want the candy". Many grown-ups say "I would like the candy, please".
Hlo maam good morning 🙏🙏🌹🌹nd im frm india🌍🇨🇮
😅😂 wow! How much English can I say properly? ! I couldn’t figure out the reason of cold faces.
❤️❤️❤️
Can you help me
Hadar sounds rude, sometimes😢
My suggestion is they should learn that there are not english speaking people lives in the world only.
I agree that people need to be educated!!! And remember the world doesn’t revolve around certain cultures. But for my students who are immigrants, living in the U.S. this could get challenging and cost them opportunities- so we have to do what we can because yes, the world is biased.. but we still want to get what we want
I am looking for a partner for practicing English speaking Skil
See now you sound like you’re people pleasing when u intonate too much which gets just as negative of a response. You intonate your a doormat, you don’t you’re being rude. People hear what they want to hear SO ANNOYING having to constantly APPEASE people’s judgements and insecurities. It’s not our job to constantly assure people and we should be able to exist as ourselves in peace without being bombarded with people’s misperceptions. We have accents we shouldn’t have to change in order to be accepted and avoid offending simply by existing. We are allowed to be OURSELVES. People can deal with it powder their own ass… hows that for rude lol
plese, speak slowly
I love your content so much
But I hate so much when you start say the word and litters with this way mumu tatata fafafa
Please give up this silly thing
Please
I am always talking in bossy and commanding tone to other people!
People are snowflakes today. They are too sensitive. Don’t think about if you are rude or not.