The real art of becoming likeable | Arel Moodie | TEDxSyracuseUniversity
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- Опубликовано: 8 окт 2014
- This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.
Arel Moodie is an upcoming voice pushing young students to matriculate through higher education. Moodie works with students from all backgrounds supporting individuals on the start of their life's journey.
About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Love this speech it was exactly what I needed thank you.
I got a part time job at a grocery store. I'm a bit older and it's not a good fit at all. Of course there is gossip and most everybody talks about each other. It's a pecking order. The managers are the worst ones. I took the job because i quit and moved to help my mom with stepdad's alzheimers and i was burned out with my photoshop job.
Anyways, i took the job because i do a lot of walking. The covid lockdown had me sitting all day and i felt like i would have a heart attack. So overtime I guess i was too self conscious and didn't talk that much. So that made me a target. I think it would have happened anyways because i'm older and stand out. So once someone says something they all group together so they don't become a target. Its just so infantile. I guess that is why they work at a grocery store. Plus many of them are miserable with their job. I wish i could blend in and not be noticed like many people but nooooo.......
So i guess i messed up by not talking and being interested in them and that made me unlikable. I guess i am kind of a snob out of self defense. I hate small talk and i'm naturally an anxious person. Sorry to blab.
You need to show them that you are truly intersted in them and learn about their life for sure . But overall i believe you have to offer what the other person thinks is important for them to be likeable for a long period . I am not saying to use them but just think about it. My best friends are just 3 people (very reasonable number) because they have what i think is important for me and the same goes for them . Let me know if you think i am wrong.
Don't spend too much time trying to be as Likeable as possible lads. Be yourself, be your own and see who are the ones who find you "Likeable".
Those are your true mates
That's bad advice
I hope new theories have developed now, because I've tried this and I end up being overlooked. And I'm really curious about everyone, genuinely. What happens is they start not caring about you, but they care about you listenibg to them. They don't care about you as a person. So where do we go from here?
Good point. I think being likeable is part of it...and being respected is another thing. Being respected is "I WANT you to listen to me because I value YOUR opinion."
It's not who you know!!!! It's who knows you!
Facts, I used to play games with famous actors, sports player, social media ppl and at the end of the day they don’t rlly know me 😂 but I know all of them very well
Thank you
Good thought! Thanks for sharing!
at was pretty good!! spot on!
His premise that, "is not what you know, it's who you know" is off base, but he doesn't realize his mistake. Otherwise, his lecture wouldn't be at a university. It IS what you know that makes a person interesting, but he also offers good advise about making others feel important by investigating what makes them interesting. When they do the same to you, your knowledge and ability to communicate will be the things that make YOU interesting, not "who you know."
Yes, I think I know what you mean. I think the word " Being interested in people" as opposed to "people being interested in you" is a bit naïve and wishful thinking. I think when you appear to be interested in people, you come off has been NEEDY. I think people want something from US, and there has to be some form of mutual exchange for people to truly like someone. OR MAY BE I am wrong. Or may be you have to give people your undivided attention and flirt with them to hide their insecurity, may be that is what he means
Or maybe people crave positive emotional exchange to truly like they would reciprocate their feelings
rr bernhardt he didn't say that he said " it's not what you know or really who you know it's about who knows you and who likes you" ...
rr bernhardt What makes a person interesting is that they are interested in you.
I think you misunderstood his premise. What he was, "it's not what you know, its not who you know, its who knows you, and who likes you"
This is amazing advice, but how do I make sure it’s not like I’m interrogating them?
Arel is an excellent public speaker. Bravo my friend.
5:30 y'all
That is the same thing I already knew. But hey, I am a likable person so :)
I don’t wanna be a yes man
I am like that still doesnt work. I try to help and praise everyone but ppl dont like that
I get you. Pay attention though, he didn’t say help and praise, he said “be interested in”. And help not to get anything back. Just be interested in them!
I’d add that you need to accept yourself too. Fully. Accept yourself. There is nothing wrong with you! And you are fully “worthy” of anything and everything - there’s no such thing as “worthy” anyway.
Accept yourself. And be interested in people, not for your gain but out of true genuine social interest in the people in your community and such. And accept yourself! I keep repeating it but it’s so important to accept love and allow yourself to bloom, with acceptance.
How’s it going btw, how are you WK?
This is 11 months later I know lol. Weird how comments are, you write one thing a year ago and forget about it, and one day randomly someone interacts with it.
What I mentioned in my comment about accepting yourself and then taking an interest in people is heavily due to Adler’s teachings! He was a famous psychologist in early 1900’s, same tier and era as Freud and Jung :) I’ve found his writing to be true and helpful! But I’m still working on it lol, idk yet exactly how to be “likable” but I believe in the process and I’m better as time goes on! We learn and we grow :)
@@yes7855 I find that all of these things about likeability spew the same stuff. What's missing is the element of natural charisma. Some people are very good at making small talk, being witty with small jokes, poking fun but not going overboard, having the right micro-facial expressions to exude playfulness rather than an offended or stiff appearance, having a natural looseness that makes people comfortable and gravitate towards you.
These are the TRUE factors that make you magnetic. It's not just enough to be "interested" in people. Ultimately, they have to be interested in you too otherwise they're not going to want to hang around you.
Blast music then have a low audio 😒
But good talk nonetheless 👍🏽
watcha doing bud?
Not they don’t come back!!!!!
This isn't very helpful, when by nature, you're not that interested in people.
Jesus.
Talk about yourself much?
Almost 6 minutes to get to the point.
Andrew Vavi Aren’t they all that way on these Ted talks? Otherwise what’s the point of them speaking at all if it’ll only be 1-2 mins?
let him tell his story and be grateful that he gave you that information that he gained over a long period of time
Andrew this is definitely not how to be a likeable person
😂😂😂
now we see why ur here lol
Waste of my 4 mins and 9 seconds