My aunt and uncle had an answering machine that would say "You have three seconds to convince us to pick up the phone after the beep. Go." back when landlines were a thing lol.
My Mom just asked “Is that John Oliver?” Apparently you sound kind of like John Oliver from several feet away from an iPhone 6 Plus speaker. She was offended when I told her that “Not every British person is John Oliver.”
I'm American, but I can tell Simon is not John Oliver. Simon has flat middle vowels. John Oliver has more backed vowels and more rounding. My accent is more similar to John Oliver's, but I do hold my lips tight.
While I still think Fact Boy is at his best while blazing , I think the Casual Criminalist is getting to legendary status . Danny , Sam and Simon will always be the A-Team . Sam's work in this one is some of their best .
How one's eyes work too or any data gathering system. We all live in the past our present is actually quantum just starting to collapse into the observable and our future is locally statistical yet globally random. OK time for a hit of acid. Lol
I always liked jimmy Carr's response to that and Simons although Jimmys funnier I'll admit. What kind of inquisition gives a 30-60 day notice and manages to kill anyone...
I get the impression that in the 1950s, people were more optimistic about the future of robotics because they didn't yet realize how incredibly difficult it is to build a robot that could do the various things that humans do so easily (e.g. walking on two legs).
Simon: Danny make the script shorter Danny: gets straight to the content instead of long introduction Simon: did we go straight to the content? Proceeds to waffle more anyway.
Excellent job on the memes Sam💯 Muuah! 👏 Also, since the bell rang immediately after Simon was speaking about the church/Vatican, I'm saying it was a shady priest. Simon gave the Freemason signal of distress, said the Lord's prayer, and thus the assassination attempt was thwarted
“Just read the script, Fact Boi!” - Danny pumping himself up in the cracked mirror before his morning ritual cleaning out the bedpan Simon loudly tossed in the basement the night before.
I have a suggestion: Oreo has a pretty wild history full of brother vs brother rivalry, cookies that have names that sound like dish cleaners, and a full on revenge cookie. Seems up the BB alley. 👀
Simon put out the north korea video and when the assassins show up just direct them to the basement so they can kill Danny and close the door behind them, that way you get the sweet sweet views from the video AND 2 extra writers
“Its locked away in the Vatican since the 1950s and nobody is allowed to play with it. It’s a shame that the Vatican’s rules aren’t quite as strict when it comes to choir boys” 😂🤣 When I heard, “nobody is allowed to play with it” I instantly thought “yeah but they not meant to play with alter boys either” Me and Danny same page 😂
3:40 A RABBI A PRIEST AND AN ALTER BOY ARE TRAVELING HOBO STYLE IN A BOXCAR. THE PRIEST TURNS TO THE RABBI AND SAYS, "WHAT DO YOU SAY, WE SCREW THE ALTER BOY?" THE RABBI SAYS, "OUT OF WHAT?"
Praise The Inquisition Brothers! Also, Sam, LOVE the small intermissions like the ones about the Assasination of the Inquisition raid ! :) SUSPENDED SENTENCE yes, it is true, you don't go to prison BUT there are usually terms you have to obey for a certain time, which if you break, your sentence applies automatically. Furthermore, if you get ANY other prison sentence after that, you are not only NOT ELIGIBLE for a suspended sentence, but you also get the first Suspended Sentence time added over the second sentence.
I thought *for SURE* that it just couldn't get any better after 'we'll be right back after this quick inquisition raid.' Ohhhh how wrong I was lol Sam was on fire on this one...every single 'we'll be right back after...' had me crackin up like a fool.
As to Simon's comment on fact monopoly, I do remember a to.e when there were various top 10 channels that allegedly stole other channels content. The reason I even started watching Top Tenz was they were one of the few channels that were not allegedly stealing content. Simon's allowed to borrow from his own content. It's more Simon.
I love how at 1:50 he complains about movies and music not being available in his region and then at 14:00 in the ad read he talks about how easy it is to get around region blocks by using surf shark
I think that as soon as you created a machine that allowed people from the future to travel back to the current time, infinite future people would suddenly appear
Can’t believe he missed the Rolling Stones joke. Actually... no, I can believe it. I’ve watched enough BB. ❤️ to Danny for great writing ❤️ to Simon for missing jokes, it’s endearing I have to admit ❤️ to Sam for all the “excuse us while...” cutaways in this one, hilarious
Lord Black Adder's manservant Baldric made a time machine. :) So the English Crown has one. The Time Viewer Described at 5:10 was also in a Dr Who Episode with the first Doctor William Hartnel......
I love business blaze because it's like the most beautiful 1 sided friendship ever. I have super interesting friend that tells me cool stories that I don't even need to talk to or send a goddamn birthday card once a year.
Sam is on point today! Oh no your boy with the blaze will be blazing on his visit to the Spanish Inquisition And we Legends will be there with you every step of the way Great job team!
Having voicemail does have a use, I have mine turned on so it shuts the phone up if it rings and it won't endlessly ring if I don't want too or can't get to it to pick up, my recording makes it very clear that messages won't be listened too and not to leave one. I still occasionally get idiots leave messages but I don't listen too them and after a week or so they are auto deleted.
I have a landline that I mostly leave unplugged but it's there in case of an emergency... Also, it used to be that you couldn't make collect calls from jail to a cell phone here in the States. No, you don't need to know why that was important!
"Why cant condoms be made in custom sizes" Im... pretty sure they can be. Like, bespoke condoms are definitely a thing, right? Im sure Ive seen them advertised. Maybe that wasnt a thing at the time
I think Danny’s choirs boys comment took Simon by surprise. Love it. JIC the time machine exists, I think a Mission Impossible type trip to the Vatican should be planned by OGBB especially if Simon sucks it up and shows us the North Korea video and gets taken out. Life will be so boring.
Dilbert: I bought a phone answering machine. Dogbert: Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer in your own? For an image, search for: dilbert phone answering machine
My favorite OGBB fact is that Simon got a vocal coach so he could shout at us without hurting himself. .....Way to go off on a tangent about the cocaine capitol of the world in the middle of an ad read, lmfao.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SURFSHARK YET? surfshark.deals/blaze
Waiting for shark week with a bigger overall discount and free nose spoons
What do I do if I already have SurfShark? WHAT DO I DO?!?! 😅🤣
Because I'm not on the internet, I get the Business Blaze collection on Betamax delivered to my wooden hut in the middle of nowhere... :P
I have used Surfshark since I left the states. Ordered it on your recommendation.
Whats Surfshark? I watch all Simons channels & never heard of it . . . 🤣
"Number 1: A British coke-head hiding out in Prague once claimed to create sentient life in a space heater" 😂🤣
This is amazing
That's HRH Simon Whistler you're talking about (allegedly, according to car insurance or something)
ETA is realy alive. Simon has him locked up with Danny and Sam, he just refuses to admit it
#StopCensoringETA
Claimed!?
Correction- “British coke-head stress doll hiding out...”
Simon, you have enough RUclips channels to do a Top Ten Simon Whistler RUclips Channels video!
He'll have super made it when he can do a 10 worst too
That would be an awesome business blaze script/advert
JAJAJA
Spoiler, business blaze is Nr 1 on that list.
@@1IGG oh, shits heating up in the simon whistler fandom. Our first schism
Sam was on fire 🔥 with the memes this time! BRILLIANT BUSINESS BLAZE!
True, and Danny's lack of knowledge about Star Trek holodeck capabilities is scandalous.
Most definitely.
@@fearoffema Danny’s insights about the holodeck made me cringe.
Each musical interlude was AMAZING
@@fearoffema Agreed
Simon missing the rolling stones joke just like Danny misses his freedom
Nice comparison 😅
Not to mention the "I wouldn't hold my breath" pun at the end of the Artificial Trachea section.
To be fair, Simon is not a smart man.. he is factboy
Lol you're assuming Danny even knew what freedom is
allegedly
My aunt and uncle had an answering machine that would say "You have three seconds to convince us to pick up the phone after the beep. Go." back when landlines were a thing lol.
respect 👌
I miss Danny’s introductions, I want Johnny pancake smoking a strand and talking about Soviet household appliances.
My Mom just asked “Is that John Oliver?” Apparently you sound kind of like John Oliver from several feet away from an iPhone 6 Plus speaker. She was offended when I told her that “Not every British person is John Oliver.”
I've got that mom. I know the glare she shot ya 😁😉
Hey we’re iPhone 6 buddies
You should've said "no that's Binging with Banish"
I'm American, but I can tell Simon is not John Oliver. Simon has flat middle vowels. John Oliver has more backed vowels and more rounding. My accent is more similar to John Oliver's, but I do hold my lips tight.
simon talks like soviet womble in a lower pitch
While I still think Fact Boy is at his best while blazing , I think the Casual Criminalist is getting to legendary status .
Danny , Sam and Simon will always be the A-Team . Sam's work in this one is some of their best .
Simon doesn't quite go ballistic on CC but he seems more liberated than any other of his channels besides BB. Also Callum's scripts are very good.
In case you don't know, I also recommend Sideprojects. Not as crazy as BB but Simon does add his own thoughts throughout the episode sometimes.
allegedly
All photos depict the past, that's how photos work.
Underrated.
Also if you try to prove that you actually saw someone, maybe don't use a picture of something.
"The past was the worst "
How one's eyes work too or any data gathering system. We all live in the past our present is actually quantum just starting to collapse into the observable and our future is locally statistical yet globally random. OK time for a hit of acid. Lol
🤯
Your feelings on Danny's knowledge of Star Trek is our feelings on your knowledge of the entire fantasy genre. That's all.
allegedly
Or anything cultural...
Plus our feelings about his casual dismissal of Star Wars...
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
I always liked jimmy Carr's response to that and Simons although Jimmys funnier I'll admit. What kind of inquisition gives a 30-60 day notice and manages to kill anyone...
I wasn't expecting that :)
Except for everyone who grew up with British comedy, in which case we always expect the Spanish Inquisition, and are petrified of comfy furnishings
THAT doorbell timing 👌
Also could you imagine if he had already done an ad read just to find danny’s “insert ad read here” line afterwards
I get the impression that in the 1950s, people were more optimistic about the future of robotics because they didn't yet realize how incredibly difficult it is to build a robot that could do the various things that humans do so easily (e.g. walking on two legs).
Simon needs to have Danny and Sam raid the Vatican to get the North Korea Blaze releases.
All they need to do is bring ETA along to discuss Communism with the Pope and the Cardinals and the distraction is taken care of.
Raid Shadow Catholics
Danny had to go ahead and get into the content because Calem is getting praise from Simon about his legendary scripts over on casual criminalist.
I want to see the N.Korea vid now, cos it sounds like fun... :D
NFT north korea video
#releasethekoreacut it worked for that shitty justice league movie
We need this, i need to hear about the unicorn 🦄
Simon: Danny make the script shorter
Danny: gets straight to the content instead of long introduction
Simon: did we go straight to the content? Proceeds to waffle more anyway.
allegedly
For anyone wondering, the clip used to end the show is from a netflix movie called " The package " and its Fkn hilarious.
do you happen to know where the clip during the spray on condom was from as well?
I definitely was wondering what that was all about. But thanks for the info, now it makes sense.
Thank you
allegedly
Oh nvm same clip i'm an idiot
Excellent job on the memes Sam💯 Muuah! 👏 Also, since the bell rang immediately after Simon was speaking about the church/Vatican, I'm saying it was a shady priest. Simon gave the Freemason signal of distress, said the Lord's prayer, and thus the assassination attempt was thwarted
@Olivia Green LMAO!
LOL!
🤣🤣
“Just read the script, Fact Boi!” - Danny pumping himself up in the cracked mirror before his morning ritual cleaning out the bedpan Simon loudly tossed in the basement the night before.
I have a suggestion:
Oreo has a pretty wild history full of brother vs brother rivalry, cookies that have names that sound like dish cleaners, and a full on revenge cookie. Seems up the BB alley. 👀
I leave Business Blaze playing when I leave for work for my 16 week old French Bulldog to watch and he loves it. 💘 Simon's voice makes him 😊
@YaYa Maryland Don’t tell your sweet Frenchie that Simon isn’t a D O G person, at least yet. I hold out hope.
That's sweet, unless he's thinking oh not again, it's driving me insane! (Joking)
I love how you Brits call pharmacies “chemists”. Chemist sounds more like a mad scientist than a person that gives you prescriptions
Simon put out the north korea video and when the assassins show up just direct them to the basement so they can kill Danny and close the door behind them, that way you get the sweet sweet views from the video AND 2 extra writers
"A machine to photograph the past..." We already have one, it's called a camera. Because every photograph is of the past.
Accurate as of invention of the camera. Pretty sure they're referring to history before that.
“Its locked away in the Vatican since the 1950s and nobody is allowed to play with it. It’s a shame that the Vatican’s rules aren’t quite as strict when it comes to choir boys” 😂🤣
When I heard, “nobody is allowed to play with it” I instantly thought “yeah but they not meant to play with alter boys either”
Me and Danny same page 😂
3:40 A RABBI A PRIEST AND AN ALTER BOY ARE TRAVELING HOBO STYLE IN A BOXCAR. THE PRIEST TURNS TO THE RABBI AND SAYS, "WHAT DO YOU SAY, WE SCREW THE ALTER BOY?" THE RABBI SAYS, "OUT OF WHAT?"
With 90 seconds Simon has gotten into the paradox of time travel while thinking about it all wrong. Love it.
allegedly
I should be studying but the boy with the blaze just posted a video
@maclean mthembu So glad you have your priorities in order. I see great success in your future.
Simon "I don't think I'm gonna be assassinated"
*Simons doorbell rings *that'll be the assassin
I had to take my girlfriend to the airport at 4am... come home new blaze. I'm suddenly happy to be awake.
Since when do you have a girlfriend...
Could she not get herself to the airport because she's a feeble little woman? AM I RIGHT PETER?!
I always treasure my alone time with Simon, Danny, and Sam...
Airport? What's that? What do people do there? 😄
We need that north Korea episode
...shouldn't have told us... Blazers you know what to do
Bombard the comment section of every Simon video and constantly tweet Simon give is the North Korea video?
@@stephjovi yes.
@@nathangrindle1645 we need to go put it on the reddit page too
1:15 - Chapter 0 - Chronovision
10:45 - Chapter 1 - Spray on Condom
13:15 - Mid roll ads
16:45 - Chapter 2 - Synthetic trachea
23:40 - Chapter 3 - No answer
Praise The Inquisition Brothers!
Also, Sam, LOVE the small intermissions like the ones about the Assasination of the Inquisition raid ! :)
SUSPENDED SENTENCE yes, it is true, you don't go to prison BUT there are usually terms you have to obey for a certain time, which if you break, your sentence applies automatically. Furthermore, if you get ANY other prison sentence after that, you are not only NOT ELIGIBLE for a suspended sentence, but you also get the first Suspended Sentence time added over the second sentence.
Am I the only one who realized what the pic at 18:35 is? Nice, Sam, you sure know a lot about novelty items.
Yup...yup saw that...
Cannot believe I missed that, for shame.
Sam: nice job on the quick break memes. At first it was funny, then it was a little repetitive, then it became so ridiculous I was legit LoLing
Good to meet you Lo Ling
@@insaincaldo I think
.
.
.
.
I think
.
.
.
I think I hate you for how long that took me to get.
@@TheSquishiRex Does it help any that I'm a little sorry?
@@insaincaldo Good to meet you Little Sorry
@@mordirit8727 Go away dad.
I thought *for SURE* that it just couldn't get any better after 'we'll be right back after this quick inquisition raid.' Ohhhh how wrong I was lol Sam was on fire on this one...every single 'we'll be right back after...' had me crackin up like a fool.
25:33
Forget about it being a "giant" robot - why does it have to "Lurk in the corner" ?! That's f--king terrifying! 😖
A machine in the 1950s that will do all your chores for you? I think it was called a "housewife."
Am I right Peter? 😂🤣
@@rogueviking9268 BADA BOOM BOOM TSH!!!!
Also known as the Valium generation,😵. Geesh,i wonder why 🤔?
A couple 'ludes, and drinks with the girls in the afternoon...being a '50's housewife sounds like the best!!
@@nomoregoodusernames8229 This episode brought to you by: Simon's Reddit channel 🤣
Simon: Suspended? YES! Fucking AAaaAAa. Of I goooouuuooo Hoooouuuooooommeeee.
Me: Hello, new ringtone
As to Simon's comment on fact monopoly, I do remember a to.e when there were various top 10 channels that allegedly stole other channels content.
The reason I even started watching Top Tenz was they were one of the few channels that were not allegedly stealing content.
Simon's allowed to borrow from his own content. It's more Simon.
Normally, I skip forward through ad reads, but Simon's random, weird, and off-script delivery makes for intriguing viewing!
Sam is really having a great time this video with the "we'll be right back" meme.
I love how at 1:50 he complains about movies and music not being available in his region and then at 14:00 in the ad read he talks about how easy it is to get around region blocks by using surf shark
thats why they pay him the big bucks for ad reads
I think that as soon as you created a machine that allowed people from the future to travel back to the current time, infinite future people would suddenly appear
Simon bought his phone thinking it was a mobile cocaine tray.
*allegedly*
The spray on condom idea came from cloudy with a chance of meatballs and we all know it.
Lie! I had that idea in 1997 but couldn’t raise the capital (ba-d-bum-dum-tsss!)
Or..... Flex Seal! Lol
@@ghostofluck1811 rofl. that was my thought
Gotta Cheers both Sam and the RUclips ad protocols, those memes were well timed to the adds
Can’t believe he missed the Rolling Stones joke.
Actually... no, I can believe it. I’ve watched enough BB.
❤️ to Danny for great writing
❤️ to Simon for missing jokes, it’s endearing I have to admit
❤️ to Sam for all the “excuse us while...” cutaways in this one, hilarious
Lord Black Adder's manservant Baldric made a time machine. :) So the English Crown has one. The Time Viewer Described at 5:10 was also in a Dr Who Episode with the first Doctor William Hartnel......
That "I made it myself" reference cracked me.
"Who put bacon in the soap?!?"
Wow, Simon let Danny tell him when to do the ad-read! Those drugs he's adding to the fish stew are really taking effect.
Simon, Sam and Danny have raised the legend bar with this video.
Look I love simon and danny, but I come back for Sam. The " it' s innovative, I like it" meme was *biggest chef's kiss*
Wait!!! And Gir! On point my guy
I love business blaze because it's like the most beautiful 1 sided friendship ever. I have super interesting friend that tells me cool stories that I don't even need to talk to or send a goddamn birthday card once a year.
1950's man. I need to build a machine to do all my chores his buddy says "get a wife ".
Did amazon prime not work because you were using a VPN and and apparently in N Korea?
Allegedly
lmao that timing on the doorbell was perfect
Fermi and von Braun were legit physicists... Sounds like that priest just used their names.
Sam again, providing a finely crafted meme stream from the start! \o/
Sam A+. As per usual. Keep up the fantastic work. You answer/exclaim/oppose Simon so well in meme form.
Sam is on point today! Oh no your boy with the blaze will be blazing on his visit to the Spanish Inquisition
And we Legends will be there with you every step of the way
Great job team!
Condoms dont always guarantee safety. I got beat up by some woman's husband while wearing a condom
got an ad from Amazon, a film Leonardo on prime during the ad read, given the content in this, I laughed
How about the invention of "Rotting Turtle " cologne, there is no evidence it exists.
Having voicemail does have a use, I have mine turned on so it shuts the phone up if it rings and it won't endlessly ring if I don't want too or can't get to it to pick up, my recording makes it very clear that messages won't be listened too and not to leave one.
I still occasionally get idiots leave messages but I don't listen too them and after a week or so they are auto deleted.
The fist! Nooooo lmfaooooo. I’m dying 😂 😂 😂 🤛🏼
Please meme Simon's singing of the Miami song 🧘♂️
Simon wants a monopoly on RUclips facts. Karl Smallwood probably has objections to that 🤣
Karl has written for Simon in the past, and Simon participated in Karl's videos. So a merger could be achieved somehow.
@@lucbrisson2 I somehow doubt big wangers incorporated would be up for any merger that took control out of Karl's hands...
@@AndrewHalliwell they should remain separate. After all Karl makes sure his employees are well paid while Simon sticks his in the basement 😂
@@lucbrisson2 oh I haven't seen Simon in Karl's videos. I know that he wrote for TIFO I saw comments about him there and searched for his channel
@@stephjovi It is the episode about King Henry's codpiece.
I have a landline that I mostly leave unplugged but it's there in case of an emergency... Also, it used to be that you couldn't make collect calls from jail to a cell phone here in the States. No, you don't need to know why that was important!
haha the perfect timing of "and i don't know where things go" legend..
5:35 watch as the joke flies directly over Simon’s head.
Release the NK Simon's Cut!
Jokes on you past Simon, I am watching from your future!
Sam is killing me with the "we'll be right back" memes. He needs upped to a double ration of hardtack.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Sam has been goin hard lately!
Matt Powell has a giant inflatable banana in his back yard that he named Dr Peel
"Why cant condoms be made in custom sizes"
Im... pretty sure they can be. Like, bespoke condoms are definitely a thing, right? Im sure Ive seen them advertised. Maybe that wasnt a thing at the time
I think Danny’s choirs boys comment took Simon by surprise. Love it.
JIC the time machine exists, I think a Mission Impossible type trip to the Vatican should be planned by OGBB especially if Simon sucks it up and shows us the North Korea video and gets taken out. Life will be so boring.
Simon we NEED the video about THE ONLY REAL KOREA THERE IS I DO NOT HAVE A GUN POINTED AT ME RIGHT NOW
Shout out to youtube for unsubbing me xx
I'm not the only one then
Simon: Biographics = Mozart
without a doubt one of the BEST BB's I have ever watched. especially the 2nd segment about custom condom doohickeys.priceless.
"The internet's a weird place"
*Watches business blaze*
Oh boy it is.
The Passion of the Blaze-i mean christ
Rolling Stones would fit perfectly. They also have a special relationship with columbian nosepowder
As a parent get ready to yell “why????” at the top of your lungs for many years to come 😅
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."
19:50 HAA HA! I WAS FEELING WONKY WHEN YOU MENTIONED THAT GUEST LIST. NOW IT MAKES SENSE.
You should release a video with the thumbnail of the north Korea video, but just put a redirect to Rick Astley
Yes need more invade Zim quotes
Wholeheartedly agree. My friend and I can have entire conversations in Zim quotes
18:37 oh god that took me a moment to recognize what that was
What? It's some doctor demonstrating the dexterity of an experimental prosthetic she developed. Allegedly.
Dilbert: I bought a phone answering machine.
Dogbert: Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer in your own?
For an image, search for: dilbert phone answering machine
Haven't even seen the thing and still it's an instant classic good blaze
(Wheres ETA?)
My favorite OGBB fact is that Simon got a vocal coach so he could shout at us without hurting himself.
.....Way to go off on a tangent about the cocaine capitol of the world in the middle of an ad read, lmfao.
Damn, that Jeff Bezos villian laughter has come quite a way Oo
Thanks Simon for reminding me to cancel my Prime trial! Close one!
You don't have any friends or family? Amazon doesn't care
Simon, you make so much content you now represent about 90 percent of what I watch on RUclips
“I don’t think I’d be assassinated.”
* DOORBELL RINGS *
RUclips plays two adverts.
Business Blaze, master of the cliffhanger