I woke up this morning with my lug nuts almost in a twist... I might actually buy that product because I've got particularly pendulous knuts. And I have to hold mine if I want to roll over to prevent torsion.
That beeping thing is nearly indestructible. I work in the apartment maintenance field and regularly “retire” expired smoke detectors by dumping them into the property trash compactor...you can still hear them beeping after days of being crushed into the garbage under 1200 pounds of pressure. 😎
"I'm not a hipster." Hipster beard,= check. Hipster glasses= check. Wearing blazer on top of inside joke t-shirt= check. I don't know Simon, the clues, they tell a different story.
Having looked at myself I have the beard, the glasses would look dreadful on me and would have the bun but I've been BBC (bald by choice) since 1999. Alas, I'm a a few decades too old to be a hipster.
... Simon, dude, I'm a girl & you have me convinced that I need Sheath underwear by this point. Your sales abilities are absolutely terrifying in their randomness.
The briefcase handcuff is more an 'anti-forgetfulness' device then serious theft deterrent. If it is literally chained to the courier, they are less likely to leave it sitting unattended while they take a piss....
Having left a backpack with *a very important* laptop behind, I understand. PS: Thanks TSA for not shooting me on sight with tazers when I ran back into the security line.
Most carbon monoxide detectors are in basements, simon altered the script, danny hates it because the little light keeps him up at night. He learned to sleep threw simon blasting "goodbye horses" but the detector is just too much
@@kingjellybean9795 wtf?? He sleeps while Simon is still at the office? Simon needs to get the whip out! He can sleep 3 hours a night when Simon is at home trying to remember what his wife kid look like
There was another one of those fire alarm ads is a mom rewatching a vhs video of her young child opening a christmas gift and says "thank you mama" the rewinding it just long enough to the "Thank you mama" like eight times, and then her husband walks in to console her basically balling her eyes out and then it cuts to saying "smoke can kill a young child in under a minute, buy a fire alarm they're £5"
When I was young and tv stopped at midnight, watching “re-runs” was lame. Today any re-run of a Simon Whistler rerun stands among the highest entertainments!😎
I’m an Italian person. You teach children scoop a few strands onto their fork then place the tines of the fork against the bowl of their spoon and twirl it up. The goal is to take a few strands, not 1/4 of the plate. If it’s served in a bowl, you use the inside of the bowl to assist you with rolling it up. Easy as pie.
Does seem to be related to what part of Italy. My mom (also Italian) mentioned it being done using a spoon in some places, and a knife in others, then taught me to do it using just the fork. I was always surprised in my younger years when I would have to teach a friend who didn't know how.
@@TrineDaely absolutely. My ex husband is Japanese. 2 out of 3 kids are a whiz with chopsticks. The third is like me- unable to figure it out. It’s not hard to do the spaghetti twirl when you do it a lot but I usually recommend the spoon to people who struggle.
😎 well he does have this extensive yet mysterious past, frequently hinted at yet never expounded upon (and certainly not a BioGraphics piece on Danny or Sam) it could well be that some sort of international criminalality could be there in that somewhat shadowy yet titillating past...
I am old enough now that many times I don't always understand the appeal of modern trends. I also fear that I absorb enough of the internet on a daily basis that I now have a tiny Sam living in my head randomly playing memes in my consciousness. Every Simon yells ogbb while enjoying an inside joke, Steve Rogers proclaims "I understood that reference." on the screen of my consciousness.
@@markkarasik2211 Think of it as a way to weed out the uncultured from the absolute Legends. If I saw someone wearing an OGBB shirt, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from yelling 'Am I right Peter?!' Then of course I'd be escorted from the property, but still, worth it. 🤣
@@madalice5134 oh yes, definitely worth it… I also have an old “Today I Found Out” shirt emblazoned with “According to Chemistry Alcohol IS a Solution” that I like to wear while hanging out around Rehab facilities…am I just awful or what?😎
@@The_Blazement The one with the teen couple get pinned to the wall by a car, killing the boy while the camera tracks backwards as the girl screams, like...why
In the USA we have anti smoking ads with people who have trachea holes telling us not to smoke while they smoke through their throat hole. And then you go to buy a pack of cigarettes and it’s $10 and has stickers all over telling you you’re going to die and thank you for paying extra taxes. People still smoke and people still drive drunk
Beards: Yeah, you do look better with a beard, Simon. A couple of months ago, I shaved mine off completely for the first time in 20 years or so. My wife's comment: "GROW. IT. BACK."
Well, I'm not British so I haven't seen that commercial. But you did make me go check the battery in my smoke detector... At 11.30 at night. So thank you 😂
Public Safety Announcements (PSAs) In the UK were seriously brutal through the 70s and 80s. Well worth a RUclips search for an hour or so. Kids dying left and right, ominous narrators coldly, menacingly warning you not to do what little Danny Deadboy just did. People say we Brits are unemotional. No. We are all just desensitised by years of childhood trauma as we were forced to watch these films in school.
In the US you can take old smoke detectors or carbon monoxide detectors to your neighborhood fire station, perhaps the fire brigade in other countries does something similar. Alternatively they stop beeping if you hit them with a hammer enough.
Out of habit, I bought 9V batteries for all of mine. The first one I came to didn't want to open. I kept pulling on it and fell off the ceiling. It was then I discovered that it had a permanent battery. smh
Blazeboi, Factboi, my casual criminalist, I wanted you to know you saved my sanity yesterday. I was driving 12ish hours throughout the day and I just had a mixed playlist of Business Blaze, Casual Criminalist, and a sprinkling of your other channels set up running through my stereo to keep me entertained. Between you, and RUclips Premium letting me play you in the background behind my GPS saved my sanity of having to listen to the same boring 10 songs and constantly searching for radio stations as I drove out of range. Thank you bud.
I spent my entire vacation (ended yesterday) listening to every BB video I hadn't seen. Made my wife listening too. All she said was and I quote " outside the fact you like fantasy and he doesn't you two sound to much alike" but I showed her Casual Criminalist now she's listening to it. Soo win win.
Car alarms are still definitely a thing here in the US. Got one person in the apartments across the street who's car keeps going off at random hours. They might be rare anymore but not TOO rare.
I had a similar issue on my car. It ended up being the hood latch sensor. Over time it wears out and randomly looses ability to complete the circuit triggering the anti-theft alarm. I personally just unplugged this sensor as my car is a fortress. Don't know how other cars deal with those issues but it sounds very similar to what I was dealing with.
Speaking of leaving kids to sleep outside, in Finland it's pretty 'normal' to have your kid nap outside in a carriage even during winter, babies sleep pretty well in fresh air and the cold doesn't bother them if they've been dressed properly. So I think the idea of having some kind of a "chicken coop" like that if you haven't got access to a proper balcony or yard is actually pretty nice.
@@markkarasik2211 A nice morning sativa cartridge with a cup of coffee, toast, and they fried eggs is how I start my day. I love being my own boss, and living in a state where it's recreationally legal. If you're off the clock (for legal reasons) you are welcome to smoke at my office.
When you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits? ... BALLROOM BLITZ Can't believe I never noticed how well those mash up lmao
The smoke alarm in our apartment in Almaty, Kazakhstan went off every two minutes, one sharp, piercing burst, every day for 3 years. There was no way to disable or fix it. When I moved back to the States, it suddenly felt so 'quiet' at night, and it was only watching old home videos that I heard the chirp in the background and remembered how I never got a full night's sleep when I lived there :) But those hard-wired types of alarms are TENACIOUS and irrepressible. :O There's nowhere in your house to 'escape' the noise! :P
That's the second strangest underwear product I've seen advertised. The strangest is those anti-fart underpants they advertise in the men's toilets in motorway service stations.
I definitely thought "spaghettiade" was going to turn out to be a fun way of saying it was a trend in the past for people to drink pasta sauce straight out of the jar.
I rarely actually buy things that people sponsor on RUclips, but I do have to say that both Sheath and magic spoon are 100% legit. Sheath is like that thing that you never knew you needed but now that you have it you are questioning your sanity for not finding it sooner. However I still don’t recommend Simon’s stickers Edit- I do actually like Simon’s beard oil though, it’s A1 and absolutely legendary.
Maybe the anti-mugging briefcase Danny wrote about was invented in Brittain but American anti-mugging briefcases are armor plated and/or are equipped with retractable/hidden knives, blades, tasers or guns.
I think the idea behind handcuffing a briefcase to a guy is so A. They can't put it down and turn their back on it and B. So that someone can't just snatch it out of the guy's hands and run.
A cell phone store that was next to one of my old apartments had a broken alarm that would go off every other day. Lots of people complained, including the town, because the alarm kept alerting the police. And then, one day, someone broke into it. The alarm went off, but nobody seemed to notice until the following Monday, when the guy goes to open shop, and he was cleared out.
Simon, I would LOVE to see "A Day In The Life" on one of your channels. How do you get it all done? OGs, up vote to see Simon's TARDIS! Love all the channels! ❤️☺️
YES! I have mentioned that bloody smoke alarm PSA to so many people and they've looked at me like I was mad; of course, they remember weird ads for Trebor Softmints, Tango and others we grew up with but I'd come to think I imagined an ad which scared me so much I decided I needed hardwired alarms so I didn't forget to change the batteries.
Most terrifying night as a child was at boarding school and having the fire alarm go off 13times in one night. It was faulty, which they found out after the 10th time. We were told to just ignore it after that. About 5 in the morning, they just switched it off entirely.
Thank you Simon for keeping the logo of the company that paid for the advertisement segment on the top right corner of the video. Now I know when to keep skipping forward and when to stop to resume watching. You legend.
@@thisguy9536 It's a set of ads made by an ad agency working for Subaru. The idea was there was this fictional option where a live chimpanzee would come out from a secret compartment in the car and handle difficult situations, like throwing a wannabe carjacker off a bridge after knocking them out. They are absolutely worth looking up.
You can take your expired smoke/carbon monoxide detectors to a recycling center and they will take care of the lithium battery and you can simply hand it to them saying, "I am finally free of it: it is your demon now."
The building where the Roosevelts lived was one single residence, all the floors. Next door Franklin's mother lived in a similar sized building as her home, connected to her son's house with connecting doors. This is real estate expensive NYC but they were the Roosevelts, a name synonymous with money and lots of it.
Might I suggest the Greifeld method. plunge you fork in a mass of the spaghetti, turn the fork clockwise until you have a ball of desired size. Then open you intake orifice and insert spaghetti ball.
The jog proof anti-skip feature actually works very simply, if you had such a CD player now, it would be obvious how it works because it usually plays out on the digital display. But what Sony did, is they designed their CD players to record ahead about a minute so that what you're listening to isn't music directly from the CD but is actually what the CD player has recorded which can't skip and this is why the anti-skip feature actually needs a minute or two to activate
The bread and pasta fork in the road is where we part ways, Simon... It's been a long and enjoyable road but... Pasta is superior. I will die on that hill.... Allegedly.
@wobbler1957 damn you and your flawless logic! Thou hast spoil-ed mine argument and now there is only one direction this can go... A duel! *Throws down gauntlet*
@@ThatElfTorunn ah, having worked in Subway many years ago, I have made many sandwiches with pasta sauce... that meatball marinara goodness is fine on a sandwich. Bread clearly wins!
Hell... I found out that I became a Hipster God by just being an old hoarder that still uses the stuff I used when I met my soon-to-be wife... In the 80s. Imagine my shock at this news as I showed one of the kids' boyfriends how to rehydrate a typewriter bobbin with ink as they don't sell them anymore. I was never cool when I was growing up but somehow all that stuff I got teased about then makes me cool now. This goes to prove that I will never understand anything about the concept of cool.
I like the Sound Burger. Sony clearly liked it too as they made a burger of their own called the PS-F5 & PS-F9. They also made a Discman that worked in a similar way as it was smaller than a CD, called the D-88, and a PS-Q7 which was similar but for vinyl.
The anti-skip feature on discman's was just this. The CD drive was much faster than needed and would read 10-30 seconds of music, store it in a buffer and then the music you would hear, was from the buffer. The CD still skipped and if you tried jogging, etc, you would still scratch the shite out of your disc but would not get to hear the skipping madness of the destruction that was happening. Between skips, the cd drive would hope for a few seconds where it could refill the buffer so the music stream was not impacted.
There was actually a third type of anti-bandit briefcase - when triggered, it would extend 5-foot telescoping spikes out of 3 or 4 sides, not aiming to injure the bandit, just at making the briefcase impossible to carry away.
I also remember the UK government safety ad about the importance of wearing seatbelts while in the back seat of a car. Search "Julie knew her killer".......grim. Stayed with me for life though, so yeah, guess they did the job!
Danny Danny. Co monitors shouldn't be on the ceiling. You'll be dead before it goes off. The sensor also only works reliably for a specified number of years.
CO detector genuinely saved my life this winter. I've never installed one before that. Didn't think I needed it. I'm not stupid! It went off on a cold night right when I was getting ready to take a nap because I had a raging headache. That's because the heater was broken and my house was full of carbon monoxide. If I would have just gone to sleep I would not have woken up! I just randomly got the detector for free, if I hadn't, I would not have had one. I'm literally only alive by completely random chance.
Simon, the Bubonic Plauge was cured in 1918 by antibiotics. Penicillin was discovered in 1929 as the world's first broad spectrum prior antibiotics were specialised.
I loved the toddler leashes attached to teddy bear back packs. I hated when people looked at me wierd that I was treating my kid like a dog. When I was just tired of chasing them to keep them from, i don't know, running out into the street or some other dangerous place.
A lady glared at my mom who had my little sister on a leash while we were at a zoo. Then my little sister made a break for the zoo train as it was pulling in and you could hear the gasps. She hit the end of the line before disaster could happen. Mom looked at the lady and said, "That's why."
There was yet ANOTHER version of the anti-bandit briefcase, in which a mechanism in the briefcase would release three long telescopic rods that would make the briefcase very difficult to carry.
I had a smoke alarm doing the same thing. I tried everything to make it stop beeping, so much rage. I finally just drowned it in the sink... it was grisly.
My mom loved sitting in the sun so once she had me and I became ambulatory she tied a thin rope around my waist. She tied the other end to the nice little apple tree and had a pleasant, soft blanket under me. Apparently I found it just fine.
I live in suburbia so car alarms go off a lot. My car has an alarm but it is really useless because you are not moving that car without the fob or a tow truck. It's an EV. On the other hand, it has some alarms which are very useful. It fusses if you leave the fob in the car and shut all the doors. It fusses if you remember the fob but forget to turn off the lights. Can be helpful.
Empty flavorless calories has to go to potatoes. My mother is a red-headed, hazel eyed, Irish Catholic and even she admits pasta has better flavor than potatoes.
I was just listening, and without visual context sheath definitely sounded like a condom company...so when they said they’d put your face on it...it was novel
Thanks to SHEATH for sponsoring today's video. Get 20% off your order right here → thld.co/SHEATH_blazemay
'Sheath Underwear; guaranteed not to blow your c**k off'...Allegedly....
"Do you find your self adjusting more often than others?"
Wait is this an adspot for sheath or r/bdp (or the nonexistent bbp?)
If you can get me 30% off, I'll buy 2 pairs with with a bald bearded man's face on them
I woke up this morning with my lug nuts almost in a twist... I might actually buy that product because I've got particularly pendulous knuts. And I have to hold mine if I want to roll over to prevent torsion.
"Am I a massive hipster?!" Protip: If you don't know if you are a hipster, you _are_ a hipster.
A bearded man putting a beeping object into a bin in the middle of town. I can see that going well.
Oh my god i didn't even think of this🤣🤣🤣🤣
That beeping thing is nearly indestructible. I work in the apartment maintenance field and regularly “retire” expired smoke detectors by dumping them into the property trash compactor...you can still hear them beeping after days of being crushed into the garbage under 1200 pounds of pressure. 😎
As he was saying that I was chuckling and shaking my head. No, buddy, not a good idea. 😆
I started laughing and saying "...noooooo”
And he is bald, keeps genius writers chained up in his basement, so he must be evil!
Simon reading all of Danny's burger puns (rare, well-done, etc.) without noticing them is peak Business Blaze.
This is because he's English. All burgers are cooked or not. Only steak can be rare or well done, etc.
Sam using a previous clip from Business Blaze as a meme insert for this episode means business blaze has reached peak inside joke status
Sam is meme boi
yup, and it is legend
wait for it
Oh come on, don’t put a meme ceiling out there...😎Simon and his captive writer and meme-ologist have only just begun to rise!
@@markkarasik2211 the other comment I said exactly this... so much true
let our meme boy fly, he's gonna get us some even better quality memes lol
"I'm not a hipster."
Hipster beard,= check.
Hipster glasses= check.
Wearing blazer on top of inside joke t-shirt= check.
I don't know Simon, the clues, they tell a different story.
And if he had hair there's a good chance he'd have a man bun as well.
@@Direkin allegedly
Having looked at myself I have the beard, the glasses would look dreadful on me and would have the bun but I've been BBC (bald by choice) since 1999. Alas, I'm a a few decades too old to be a hipster.
-Advocates for Capitalism and thinks minor chronic ailments are overblown
all other points are lost
He's like, 1/4 hipster. Remember, dude eats gluten, and isn't a woke douche.
... Simon, dude, I'm a girl & you have me convinced that I need Sheath underwear by this point. Your sales abilities are absolutely terrifying in their randomness.
well seems like he remembered what they teached him in the bussiness school in doing those sponsor segments :D
They have lady's Sheath apparently
@@johnloth479 A lip in every pocket and a piece of sandpaper for the clitoris?
😎 >pondering the possibility< ...uh yeah...sure...what exactly would be sheathed. Somehow I doubt we’ll see Simon explain how that works...
Maybe you could hand them out as gifts to any gentlemen friends who perform well?
The briefcase handcuff is more an 'anti-forgetfulness' device then serious theft deterrent.
If it is literally chained to the courier, they are less likely to leave it sitting unattended while they take a piss....
well today I found out :)
“well 𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕”
@@brainblaze6526 Bada bum bum tshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Having left a backpack with *a very important* laptop behind, I understand.
PS: Thanks TSA for not shooting me on sight with tazers when I ran back into the security line.
@@FelipeBudinich My dude, this is the best comment I've seen in ages, glad you weren't shot so you could write it 🤣
I see Simon is trying to convince us Danny is free and has a family. We are not fooled, we hear the screams from the basement
I can't imagine him being allowed a hammer either. It's just Danny's fantasies remembering his life before
Most carbon monoxide detectors are in basements, simon altered the script, danny hates it because the little light keeps him up at night. He learned to sleep threw simon blasting "goodbye horses" but the detector is just too much
@@kingjellybean9795 wtf?? He sleeps while Simon is still at the office? Simon needs to get the whip out! He can sleep 3 hours a night when Simon is at home trying to remember what his wife kid look like
@@stephjovi only when simon start runnin low on blow and doesnt share with him
He's fine, he's fed Dixie cups of coke, allegedly.
There was another one of those fire alarm ads is a mom rewatching a vhs video of her young child opening a christmas gift and says "thank you mama" the rewinding it just long enough to the "Thank you mama" like eight times, and then her husband walks in to console her basically balling her eyes out and then it cuts to saying "smoke can kill a young child in under a minute, buy a fire alarm they're £5"
Dammm
Holy fuck. That makes me want to buy a fire alarm right now.
Watching old TopTenz videos is so bizarre because Simon hadn’t grown his awesome beard yet
The full extent of Simon's face can no longer be observed, he has evolved to a higher form.
When I was young and tv stopped at midnight, watching “re-runs” was lame. Today any re-run of a Simon Whistler rerun stands among the highest entertainments!😎
The power of his empire is in that beard.
He's like Samson with that luxurious face fuzz.
@@markkarasik2211 Ah, watching re-runs of Rerun from What's Happening!! Those were the days. 😄
Nothing has more nasty microbes! Dirtier than a 💩 hole 😂
Why would ppl want this
I’m an Italian person. You teach children scoop a few strands onto their fork then place the tines of the fork against the bowl of their spoon and twirl it up. The goal is to take a few strands, not 1/4 of the plate. If it’s served in a bowl, you use the inside of the bowl to assist you with rolling it up. Easy as pie.
Does seem to be related to what part of Italy. My mom (also Italian) mentioned it being done using a spoon in some places, and a knife in others, then taught me to do it using just the fork. I was always surprised in my younger years when I would have to teach a friend who didn't know how.
@@TrineDaely absolutely. My ex husband is Japanese. 2 out of 3 kids are a whiz with chopsticks. The third is like me- unable to figure it out. It’s not hard to do the spaghetti twirl when you do it a lot but I usually recommend the spoon to people who struggle.
Simon: Danny please don't turn out to be a criminal.
Danny: I'm locked in your basement and you're worried I'm the criminal?
oh my god yes exactly lol
...as Danny stares out the Dog pee stained, basement window. 😂
😎 well he does have this extensive yet mysterious past, frequently hinted at yet never expounded upon (and certainly not a BioGraphics piece on Danny or Sam) it could well be that some sort of international criminalality could be there in that somewhat shadowy yet titillating past...
I am old enough now that many times I don't always understand the appeal of modern trends. I also fear that I absorb enough of the internet on a daily basis that I now have a tiny Sam living in my head randomly playing memes in my consciousness. Every Simon yells ogbb while enjoying an inside joke, Steve Rogers proclaims "I understood that reference." on the screen of my consciousness.
😎I hear you man...I even have the O.G.B.B. Shirt in green and no one understands
@@markkarasik2211 Think of it as a way to weed out the uncultured from the absolute Legends. If I saw someone wearing an OGBB shirt, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from yelling 'Am I right Peter?!' Then of course I'd be escorted from the property, but still, worth it. 🤣
@@madalice5134 oh yes, definitely worth it… I also have an old “Today I Found Out” shirt emblazoned with “According to Chemistry Alcohol IS a Solution” that I like to wear while hanging out around Rehab facilities…am I just awful or what?😎
@@markkarasik2211 no you just want to see the word burn.
@@annieinwonderland 😎Or I’m just a stinker
I remember the smoke alarm advert traumatising me as a child, but as a adult I moved to Ireland and saw the drink driving ads over here.... Holy God!
Is the one where the car flips and rolls over a bunch of kids one of the Irish drunk driving ads?
@@The_Blazement The one with the teen couple get pinned to the wall by a car, killing the boy while the camera tracks backwards as the girl screams, like...why
In the USA we have anti smoking ads with people who have trachea holes telling us not to smoke while they smoke through their throat hole. And then you go to buy a pack of cigarettes and it’s $10 and has stickers all over telling you you’re going to die and thank you for paying extra taxes. People still smoke and people still drive drunk
I alwys liked the idea of the only packaging for cigarettes being a skull a cross bones with the brand name and all the cancer warnings.
Wait till you see the Canada PSAs.
Beards:
Yeah, you do look better with a beard, Simon.
A couple of months ago, I shaved mine off completely for the first time in 20 years or so. My wife's comment: "GROW. IT. BACK."
My wife had a similar reaction to my shaving my beard off.
Apparently, showing more of my face is not advantageous.
Well, I'm not British so I haven't seen that commercial. But you did make me go check the battery in my smoke detector... At 11.30 at night. So thank you 😂
Public Safety Announcements (PSAs) In the UK were seriously brutal through the 70s and 80s. Well worth a RUclips search for an hour or so. Kids dying left and right, ominous narrators coldly, menacingly warning you not to do what little Danny Deadboy just did. People say we Brits are unemotional. No. We are all just desensitised by years of childhood trauma as we were forced to watch these films in school.
I just purchased a new CO detector because of this :D
That was a shocking commercial.
Glad I am not the only one. Granted I have 14 scattered throughout the house.
In the US you can take old smoke detectors or carbon monoxide detectors to your neighborhood fire station, perhaps the fire brigade in other countries does something similar. Alternatively they stop beeping if you hit them with a hammer enough.
Out of habit, I bought 9V batteries for all of mine. The first one I came to didn't want to open. I kept pulling on it and fell off the ceiling. It was then I discovered that it had a permanent battery. smh
I smashed mine with a hammer. It is really effective and therapeutic.
I find MOST things stop beeping if you hit the with a hammer enough!
@@drboze6781 Sometimes they are also connected to wires in the ceiling.
A less therapeutic way is water, unless you're pretending to drown it.
Blazeboi, Factboi, my casual criminalist, I wanted you to know you saved my sanity yesterday. I was driving 12ish hours throughout the day and I just had a mixed playlist of Business Blaze, Casual Criminalist, and a sprinkling of your other channels set up running through my stereo to keep me entertained. Between you, and RUclips Premium letting me play you in the background behind my GPS saved my sanity of having to listen to the same boring 10 songs and constantly searching for radio stations as I drove out of range.
Thank you bud.
Sam is a legend for putting the video Simon was talking about in the edit. He's the main reason I've been binging this channel
Simon: "I LOVE BREAD"
Me, watching as I am eating a slice of bread: "what a legend"
I know that you are referring to a food product but I hear ' I love bread ' and I think Bread is the worst band ever.
I spent my entire vacation (ended yesterday) listening to every BB video I hadn't seen. Made my wife listening too. All she said was and I quote " outside the fact you like fantasy and he doesn't you two sound to much alike" but I showed her Casual Criminalist now she's listening to it. Soo win win.
Car alarms are still definitely a thing here in the US. Got one person in the apartments across the street who's car keeps going off at random hours. They might be rare anymore but not TOO rare.
God there was one time when I was just chilling in my room and then somebody's car alarm started blaring... this was the middle of the evening
I had a similar issue on my car. It ended up being the hood latch sensor. Over time it wears out and randomly looses ability to complete the circuit triggering the anti-theft alarm. I personally just unplugged this sensor as my car is a fortress. Don't know how other cars deal with those issues but it sounds very similar to what I was dealing with.
At least back in the 80's, the sensitivity was adjustable. People's alarms would be going off in the rain. Annoying!
Speaking of leaving kids to sleep outside, in Finland it's pretty 'normal' to have your kid nap outside in a carriage even during winter, babies sleep pretty well in fresh air and the cold doesn't bother them if they've been dressed properly. So I think the idea of having some kind of a "chicken coop" like that if you haven't got access to a proper balcony or yard is actually pretty nice.
Could NOT do that where I live😂it's 11am rn and it feels like 94...the high is 95 and the actual temp rn is only 87...
Car alarms go off at LEAST once a day in my neighbourhood 😂😬
I just roll my eyes and say, "there goes Johnny One-Note again."
I live in central Manchester...car alarms and police sirens are just the background track for the city
Haha that "trunk monkey car alarm" video was one of the first funny videos I ever downloaded! Haven't seen it in years! Well played Sam!
Sheath with faces on it sounds terrifying yet hilarious at the same time
Danny: "Pasta is the worst..."
Me: "You what mate? You prefer potatoes or something?"
Danny: "Bread"
Me: "Alright, fair"
I love waking up to a fresh blaze!
That's why I don't have smoke alarms either.
I enjoy a fresh blaze too...and I wake up and blaze as well😎
Catch a nap to some of the old school Blazes for ultimate Blaze emersive experience.
@@markkarasik2211 A nice morning sativa cartridge with a cup of coffee, toast, and they fried eggs is how I start my day. I love being my own boss, and living in a state where it's recreationally legal. If you're off the clock (for legal reasons) you are welcome to smoke at my office.
6:55 - Chapter 1 - Baby cages
13:00 - Chapter 2 - Spaghetti aid
16:55 - Mid roll ads
19:55 - Chapter 3 - The sound burger
25:35 - Chapter 4 - The anti bandit briefcase
- Chapter 5 -
- Chapter 6 -
"Though I watch though the Valley of slow download speeds, I fear no buffer, for Simon is with me." 🙏 🤣
And what's with the crazy upload schedule this week BlazeBoi? 😂
When my 212mbs wifi fails, the 5g kicks in and brings me back to life. I remember when I was a kid with dial up
@@wut274 lmao well said!
@@mattatk92 yeah I remember AOL dial up and trying to use the phone and my sister would be on the PC, so the phone starts screaming in your ear lol
@@mattatk92 i miss the time when i can play snake on a youtube video
And the man in the back said, "Everyone attack"
And it turned into a ballroom blitz...
...
Puttin' on the ritz
When you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits?
... BALLROOM BLITZ
Can't believe I never noticed how well those mash up lmao
The 'How to appeal to the BB subscribers' guide for advertisers : Let simon say what hell he likes.
And let Danny write whatever the fuck he wants. As well as Sam just being Sam with the editing.
@@dudepool7530 yeah right, without the fine vintage memes, Danny's masterful writing and Simon's shitposting on their work this wouldn't be it
Simon needs to model the underwear since he enjoys eating Magic Spoon on camera. It's only fair to the sponsor.
Make it a trifecta: eating Magic Spoon in the underwear while playing a game using that upscaler.👍
just don't let him model the ball shavers
@@boris2342 He does that and I'm smashing the everliving fuck out of the Dislike button.
At least he's not wearing cereal & eating underwear.....
Yet... 😂
If Simon wore the 'Whistler Sheath' over his clothes while eating Magic Spoon, RUclips and the rest of the internet would crash.
I think the Whistler Scream at 5:29--which I see Sam has rightly upgraded to meme status--could give the Wilhelm Scream a run for its money.
the Sheath logo actually looks like Simon's beard and mouth with a little smile :)
Oooooh conspiracy theory!
Laughs in scandinavian at the thought of only letting a baby sleep outside in summer
The smoke alarm in our apartment in Almaty, Kazakhstan went off every two minutes, one sharp, piercing burst, every day for 3 years. There was no way to disable or fix it. When I moved back to the States, it suddenly felt so 'quiet' at night, and it was only watching old home videos that I heard the chirp in the background and remembered how I never got a full night's sleep when I lived there :)
But those hard-wired types of alarms are TENACIOUS and irrepressible. :O There's nowhere in your house to 'escape' the noise! :P
That's the second strangest underwear product I've seen advertised. The strangest is those anti-fart underpants they advertise in the men's toilets in motorway service stations.
My god they're called 'shreddies' XD THEY HAVE A BANANA
I definitely thought "spaghettiade" was going to turn out to be a fun way of saying it was a trend in the past for people to drink pasta sauce straight out of the jar.
I rarely actually buy things that people sponsor on RUclips, but I do have to say that both Sheath and magic spoon are 100% legit. Sheath is like that thing that you never knew you needed but now that you have it you are questioning your sanity for not finding it sooner.
However I still don’t recommend Simon’s stickers
Edit- I do actually like Simon’s beard oil though, it’s A1 and absolutely legendary.
Most things stop making noise after being hit with hammer enough
Maybe the anti-mugging briefcase Danny wrote about was invented in Brittain but American anti-mugging briefcases are armor plated and/or are equipped with retractable/hidden knives, blades, tasers or guns.
7:30 I love how Simon has continued on but the editor makes it seem like he's dwelling in that moment for way longer than necessary XD
Guys: Smoke and fire alarms go on the ceiling. CO detectors go near the floor. Kill the speaker, or open up the case, and remove the battery.
20 Seconds in and it reminds of Blackadder back and forth with Simon being Baldrick saying "SNIFF MY SKIDS!"
I think the idea behind handcuffing a briefcase to a guy is so A. They can't put it down and turn their back on it and B. So that someone can't just snatch it out of the guy's hands and run.
A cell phone store that was next to one of my old apartments had a broken alarm that would go off every other day. Lots of people complained, including the town, because the alarm kept alerting the police.
And then, one day, someone broke into it. The alarm went off, but nobody seemed to notice until the following Monday, when the guy goes to open shop, and he was cleared out.
The boy that cried wolf...
I swear to God, I will pay any price for those Sheath. Can you imagine the resell value once Simon starts his 500th RUclips channel.
Simon, I would LOVE to see "A Day In The Life" on one of your channels. How do you get it all done? OGs, up vote to see Simon's TARDIS! Love all the channels! ❤️☺️
YES! I have mentioned that bloody smoke alarm PSA to so many people and they've looked at me like I was mad; of course, they remember weird ads for Trebor Softmints, Tango and others we grew up with but I'd come to think I imagined an ad which scared me so much I decided I needed hardwired alarms so I didn't forget to change the batteries.
Yes! That was one of the harrowing adverts from the 90's :D
Most terrifying night as a child was at boarding school and having the fire alarm go off 13times in one night. It was faulty, which they found out after the 10th time. We were told to just ignore it after that. About 5 in the morning, they just switched it off entirely.
Techmoan: "Ye, I bought a broken piece of obsolete media"
Simon: "You hipstahh!"
Didn't Techmoan review that exact one aswell?
@@SlimTony yes he did
Btw, when your wife says it's too restricted inside that baby wall thing, remind her that an unrestricted baby is often a dead, or injuries baby.
If Sheath came out with set that had the business blaze logo on it I'd totally buy it for the meme
"I'd just listen to tapes"
I'm almost 50 and used to have a huge collection of tapes and yet this still sounds archaic to me :)
Forget a house, underwear with Simon’s face on it, now I have something to save money for
You make the ad-reads so funny, this is the only channel where I don't skip them.
Had a sound burger when I was at boarding school, was perfect for the dorm with head phones, mine still works
Thank you Simon for keeping the logo of the company that paid for the advertisement segment on the top right corner of the video. Now I know when to keep skipping forward and when to stop to resume watching. You legend.
this ep should be on the list of Sam's best vintage memes
Only 7 minutes in and already agree lol the we don't use the cage anymore 😂
Trunk monkey meme early
@@Bleeeaaoop nah I guess I kinda agree, but I think Sam can do better
I love the jarring transition between reading in simons reading voice, going “budabumbum tshh” and then continuing to read.
Thank you Sam for putting in a Trunk Monkey meme in there.
It holds a special place in my heart for being featured as an article in my local paper.
What is that from ?
@@thisguy9536 suburban auto group commercials there are like 35.
@@thisguy9536 It's a set of ads made by an ad agency working for Subaru.
The idea was there was this fictional option where a live chimpanzee would come out from a secret compartment in the car and handle difficult situations, like throwing a wannabe carjacker off a bridge after knocking them out. They are absolutely worth looking up.
do you remember the one where the monkey/orangutang/chimpanzee changed the guy's tire for him? ;>
Within the first 30 seconds both Simon and Sam managed to make me spit out my drink in laughter
You can take your expired smoke/carbon monoxide detectors to a recycling center and they will take care of the lithium battery and you can simply hand it to them saying, "I am finally free of it: it is your demon now."
Recycling center? Where I live doesnt even have a trash dump
The building where the Roosevelts lived was one single residence, all the floors. Next door Franklin's mother lived in a similar sized building as her home, connected to her son's house with connecting doors. This is real estate expensive NYC but they were the Roosevelts, a name synonymous with money and lots of it.
I love that the nuclear Simon at 5:28 has become a thing.
I made it my text tone. It causes fear and confusion every time I use my debit card at the store as my bank sends me text notifications.
18:05 First the frank, then the beans...and then the LEGS?? 😲
That is some God tier gymnastic abilities, right there.
i come for the thumbnails but stay for the edits
Oh my, get a bit excited about the thumbnails? (Phrasing!)
Might I suggest the Greifeld method. plunge you fork in a mass of the spaghetti, turn the fork clockwise until you have a ball of desired size. Then open you intake orifice and insert spaghetti ball.
I always thought the handcuff briefcase thing was to keep the person from leaving it somewhere accidentally.
I believe it was used by classified couriers to ensure they didn't lose the case.
@@hokutoulrik7345 basically what I said.
The jog proof anti-skip feature actually works very simply, if you had such a CD player now, it would be obvious how it works because it usually plays out on the digital display. But what Sony did, is they designed their CD players to record ahead about a minute so that what you're listening to isn't music directly from the CD but is actually what the CD player has recorded which can't skip and this is why the anti-skip feature actually needs a minute or two to activate
The bread and pasta fork in the road is where we part ways, Simon... It's been a long and enjoyable road but... Pasta is superior. I will die on that hill.... Allegedly.
Well put but I totally disagree. Pastrami and mustard on rotini or turkey and mayonnaise on linguine just doesn’t work.😎
@@markkarasik2211 ever tried to put a pasta sauce on a sandwich? My point standeth, as do I... Upon this hill on which I am determined to die 🤣.
@wobbler1957 damn you and your flawless logic! Thou hast spoil-ed mine argument and now there is only one direction this can go... A duel! *Throws down gauntlet*
@@ThatElfTorunn ah, having worked in Subway many years ago, I have made many sandwiches with pasta sauce... that meatball marinara goodness is fine on a sandwich. Bread clearly wins!
@@ThatElfTorunn I have to say pizza and walk away, because it’s almost a sandwich
It’s definitely sauce on bread with chees and other stuff
5:25 Thanks, Sam! That exploding Simon meme has not gotten old.
Hell... I found out that I became a Hipster God by just being an old hoarder that still uses the stuff I used when I met my soon-to-be wife... In the 80s. Imagine my shock at this news as I showed one of the kids' boyfriends how to rehydrate a typewriter bobbin with ink as they don't sell them anymore. I was never cool when I was growing up but somehow all that stuff I got teased about then makes me cool now. This goes to prove that I will never understand anything about the concept of cool.
1). :-) (2). Selling typewriter bobbins to hipsters - Simon’s next capitalist venture.
@@sarahrosen4985 - YUP! I think Simon could make out like a bandit on the black and red bobbins!
I like the Sound Burger. Sony clearly liked it too as they made a burger of their own called the PS-F5 & PS-F9. They also made a Discman that worked in a similar way as it was smaller than a CD, called the D-88, and a PS-Q7 which was similar but for vinyl.
i love that simon refers to his daughter as an “it” most of the time... 😅
The anti-skip feature on discman's was just this. The CD drive was much faster than needed and would read 10-30 seconds of music, store it in a buffer and then the music you would hear, was from the buffer. The CD still skipped and if you tried jogging, etc, you would still scratch the shite out of your disc but would not get to hear the skipping madness of the destruction that was happening. Between skips, the cd drive would hope for a few seconds where it could refill the buffer so the music stream was not impacted.
YEAH!!!!! i remember that advert for smoke alarm use and checking batteries. And yes it was HORRIFYING
There was actually a third type of anti-bandit briefcase - when triggered, it would extend 5-foot telescoping spikes out of 3 or 4 sides, not aiming to injure the bandit, just at making the briefcase impossible to carry away.
I also remember the UK government safety ad about the importance of wearing seatbelts while in the back seat of a car. Search "Julie knew her killer".......grim. Stayed with me for life though, so yeah, guess they did the job!
I remember that one, I was thinking about it too. Brutal.
That spaghetti aid looks like it would course more mouth injuries than a dentist with Parkinson's .
Danny Danny. Co monitors shouldn't be on the ceiling. You'll be dead before it goes off. The sensor also only works reliably for a specified number of years.
CO detector genuinely saved my life this winter. I've never installed one before that. Didn't think I needed it. I'm not stupid! It went off on a cold night right when I was getting ready to take a nap because I had a raging headache. That's because the heater was broken and my house was full of carbon monoxide. If I would have just gone to sleep I would not have woken up!
I just randomly got the detector for free, if I hadn't, I would not have had one. I'm literally only alive by completely random chance.
Sam keeping that Simon Shriek proves that he's a true legend.
Simon, the Bubonic Plauge was cured in 1918 by antibiotics. Penicillin was discovered in 1929 as the world's first broad spectrum prior antibiotics were specialised.
Danny bringing out the interwoven stories, well done mate.
I loved the toddler leashes attached to teddy bear back packs. I hated when people looked at me wierd that I was treating my kid like a dog. When I was just tired of chasing them to keep them from, i don't know, running out into the street or some other dangerous place.
A lady glared at my mom who had my little sister on a leash while we were at a zoo. Then my little sister made a break for the zoo train as it was pulling in and you could hear the gasps. She hit the end of the line before disaster could happen. Mom looked at the lady and said, "That's why."
Simon needs to sell a coffee travel mug branded with the "Chef Simon's Spaghettiade" logo and nutrition facts
I'd buy that!
100% yes
There was yet ANOTHER version of the anti-bandit briefcase, in which a mechanism in the briefcase would release three long telescopic rods that would make the briefcase very difficult to carry.
Simon " carbon monoxide comes and silently kills you"
Me " sounds like a few ex girlfriends of mine "
They did not do a good job then....
😎 well that’s why they’re ex you know
I had a smoke alarm doing the same thing. I tried everything to make it stop beeping, so much rage. I finally just drowned it in the sink... it was grisly.
Saturday morning Business Blaze = Wake and Blaze.
That was an absolutely legendary ad transition lmfao
My mom loved sitting in the sun so once she had me and I became ambulatory she tied a thin rope around my waist. She tied the other end to the nice little apple tree and had a pleasant, soft blanket under me. Apparently I found it just fine.
I live in suburbia so car alarms go off a lot. My car has an alarm but it is really useless because you are not moving that car without the fob or a tow truck. It's an EV. On the other hand, it has some alarms which are very useful. It fusses if you leave the fob in the car and shut all the doors. It fusses if you remember the fob but forget to turn off the lights. Can be helpful.
I believe Junction 27 on the M25 is known as a "spaghetti Junction". You're welcome.
I thought it was a junction in the Midlands near Birmingham , a crazy mash of different motorway interchanges.
@steve Andrews, I'm afraid it's not. Junction 27 is Theydon in Essex. Just a normal junction
@@RedactedATS yes Gravelly Hill in Birmingham, but it's not junction 27 either
Empty flavorless calories has to go to potatoes. My mother is a red-headed, hazel eyed, Irish Catholic and even she admits pasta has better flavor than potatoes.
I was just listening, and without visual context sheath definitely sounded like a condom company...so when they said they’d put your face on it...it was novel
Now THAT is branding
“... I really want to, come on, guys”
that’s the exact quote
We are at a whole new level Simon has become a meme in his own videos 💥☢️ 🍄☁️