I think we could perhaps benefit from acknowledging that "completeness" in the spiritual and psychological sense includes "incompleteness". As in, our Self is an ongoing project. The "journey is the destination" sort of thing. But also, in another but related sense, we are "complete individuals" but we are also only a "part" of greater phenomena. Like how every cell in our body is complete in that it is indeed an individual, complete cellular entity, but it is only a part of the organ, and the organ is only a part of the organism, and the organism is only one of many entities that participate in the biosphere. So I don't think a hard line stance of total dogmatic acceptance of the "completeness of the individual" is congruent with reality. But some illusions are useful, depending on where one is at.
" Her happiness is not my responsibility. She should be happy and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone a responsibility to make you happy when you can't do it for yourself is selfish" - Will Smith
@@Evanthenerd12345 You should try to determine the cause of the depression. If your partner is experiencing depression from rational thoughts, then the best you can do is make recommendations for self-improvement (such as exercising, eating healthy, or visiting a doctor) and hope that they commit. If they fail to undergo any of these things on their own and require your assistance to do them, then their happiness is conditional on your assistance (external), so it is not virtuous. All of this is different, of course, if they suffer from something like PTSD or Dementia.
Giving and receiving works both ways between two lovers that are equals who work together on every level Giving and Taking doesn’t work between two lovers that are a couple because it is one sided . One side is doing all the giving while the other side is doing all of the taking . Daniel Chadwick !
Thanos The only time that you shall change your mind ; is when Love ✨♥️♥️✨finally finds you . When it does may your mind be peaceful 😇 and may your heart be full of Love ✨♥️✨.
In the end , and trust me as someone who has looked death in the eye , crying in my bed wish for more time , in the end all you want is to feel true love and to know you have given that back.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, a romanticised notion of love has become synonymous with possessiveness - manifestation of ego *A true love is for life itself*
@J G most conservative (literal not political) apparently. Looking for the income, background, and other qualities they have rather than a spark of feelings. People divorce because they argued about little things, selfish reasons, and boredom instead of for financial, domestic violence, and other life-changing reasons.
What I learnt about romantic love is this kind of love creating illusions and fantasies.And when the person who we claim we love so much can not fullfil it, we hurt so much.
Yes but it is possible to reassess the situation and find it again the right way. It’s just about it not being conditional, and just as you can learn to love yourself unconditionally (wich you must), you can learn to love your SO unconditionally. I think it’s sadder to let a love die because you accept that you tried to fulfill a phantasy/desire/lust than to realize the problem within yourself and your desires and start setting it apart, if there really is true love beneath all those problems it will still be there after you finished your journey to self love.
This is a sign that the one that hurts from heartbreak doesn't love himself, or herself enough. I've been broken like that before and now I get it. We project ideals on others and this is a recipe for bad things to happen.
Not love creates, it's you who created all those illusions and fantasies, and actually it's bad not only for you but for a partner also - they doomed to obey your illusions, that's abusive.
I loved someone so much. I turned blind to the red flags, broke my own rules, changed to be more suited for her, and thought of her as my world. Yet she’s unpredictable, inconsistent, secretive, spiteful, and won’t fight for me. After me, she has a lot choices to pick from. It’s not that painful to lose her, it only brought me peace.
if you love a girl with red flags so much, that you want to sail the 7 seas with her :D ik the feeling. but did you really change ? for example, i do currently have a crush on a girl and i quit smoking. the target of me getting a relationship gave me the strenght to do this ( again ). i also say i wont change for people but i can improve myself dont i?
@@deformiertergolfball4847We should always improve ourselves, love can give us the energy to do this. The rarity in love comes from a well of contentment and passion. On its own it can lead you down the wrong path but when you combine contentment and passion with a deep understanding of yourself and your lover, you can grow more with and without them. Learn from everything.
As someone who's had many serious & trivial romantic relationships & subsequent break-ups, a divorce but ultimately found happiness with my wife for almost two decades now, I believe that true love comes from within. First, one has to love himself/herself (without devolving into narcissism or extreme self-love), love the world & find happiness in themselves when they are single & alone. Later, when the opportunity presents itself, you can share that love with someone else who will reciprocate it & will not depend on you to make them happy or vice versa. Too many times we hear the phrase "she makes me happy" or "he makes me happy". I believe that viewpoint is very detrimental and can lead to pain & suffering when you depend on this external source for happiness. No one can make you happy, only yourself. Find someone who has the same perspective and share your loves with each other, without any dependence on each other. It's not always easy to find such a person but sometimes they will find you. Just be patient & open, don't rush into any relationships too soon, especially after a break-up or divorce. Give yourself time to find your inner peace & love first, then share it with that special someone.
No one is perfect. One doesn't have to love themselves to love someone else. That's BS. Everyone's story is different. How can one not depend on another at least on some level? People aren't robots.
@@CBT5777 true love is when you stay together no matter what problems appear and not because you have a problems. Do not make your partner a "solver", don't put that burden on them.
@@MaruskaStarshaya True love is when you're willing to sacrifice yourself for another person. So yes, I would agree with you. But, one can fall out of love very easily. Love is fleeting.
This is exactly what is happening to me, some people are like "Womans are bitches" or "Marrying will steal a lot of money from me" and i'm like "i don't think i'm good enough" or "She'll never like me" because i can't love myself... But i'm willing to change this
felipe costa Don’t worry man, loving yourself can take time but you will eventually achieve it. Know your own value and always be working to improve yourself however you can. You could pick up a hobby, maybe do some charity work, meditate, etc. Change what you can, and simply accept what you cannot change. And don’t dwell on those people who say “women are all bitches” or “they only want your money.” Some of them are speaking from their own mistakes/misfortune and others simply want to stroke their ego with the idea that no woman is worthy of him.
@felipe costa Stay strong I am there aswell. Key is to let go of all the people who make you think the wrong way and try to embrace evil within you. I had to learn that aswell, cut a lot of these people out of my life wich was hard, because I am generally a good person and try to see good things in everybody. But key is to rather stay home or go with positive people that help you set your mind onto the woman you want to love, that’s also the route on wich you’ll find self love automatically.
I’m thankful that the first person I fell in love with was not lust. I was quite closed up at the time, and only really ever talked to them because of their insistence. Eventually we became friends due to our similar interests which surprised me because of how obviously different we were from each other. I looked forward to seeing them more and more until I realized it was becoming harder and harder to say goodbye. I had finally realized what my problem was when spring break came around and I found myself lacking something. When the break finally ended, I looked at them much differently than before. Everything about them was the same, but somehow better. I payed more attention to small things like the little grin they would give every time they walked into our classroom, the change in tone when speaking to me, how obviously confident they were. It was like meeting a whole new person all over again. I had never felt this way before about anyone, and it made me change the way I started acting and feeling around them. While I was much happier and open than before, it came at the cost of me forgetting how they really were to everyone. I kept expecting them to act differently to me because I cared so much without thinking about how much they cared about me. Eventually, their personality and mine stopped bouncing off each other, and what was left of the friendship quickly fell as quickly as it began. The feeling was definitely not mutual between us, and seemingly one petty interaction brewed into a final argument that led us to never speak again. Sorry for the rant. I get lost in my own feelings sometimes. Especially on this particular topic. There was a lot of lessons learned about love and it’s balance between giving and receiving that love. I think it’s important to hold your horses in a relationship because rushing, especially without the certainty that they feel the same way, only ends in heartbreak. Despite all of the issues that developed, I will always look at the first “relationship” in reverence to what it helped me become. It gave me a positive outlook, a more open personality, and motivation to improve myself that I honestly didn’t care enough about before to work on.
Something i have always had a disagreement with is "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else." Why? Sure, i do understand the importance of self care, self esteem, and being in a healthy mindset (Even though most of these things tend to lack), yet i would much rather spend that time caring for my significant other. I have endless buckets filled with love for him, as there is nothing i wouldn't do for him. I love seeing his smile, hearing his laugh, just him being himself in his purest form! I care for him when he's sick, listen to him and his thoughts, etc. I do not love myself, rather quite the opposite. Love can strike the heart when you least expect it to, as it had me; and it was terrifyingly beautiful.
What you said truly encompasses what we all are capable of deep down inside. We have more joy giving than receiving. When they hurt, you hurt, etc. Imagine a world ruled by pure love, putting others interests first.
Why? IMO (And with the utmost respect ) when they Inevitably leave your life at some point (which is reality)… what will make u happy? Your happiness should spring forth from yourself, be found within. have to love yourself, be solid in yourself , not be Dependent on someone else for the feelings you describe. When this person inevitably leaves your life, you will experience a deep sense of lack because you have invested all your happiness into them. If your happiness is based on making them smile,… Then your happiness is not from within, it’s directly linked to them like a drug or unhealthy addiction.. The feelings that they have awoken inside of you, if you realize them and find them on your own, they become more true more strong, and you can enjoy your life more fully without having your happiness come from one source. It comes from within. From you. Cus you don’t need anyone but yourself in this world . Everyone else is an added bonus. This is just me speaking based on life experience. It’s a kindness to yourself, others, and the world, to be emotionally responsible & to be the source of your own happiness.
@@lovelyrita64 Can it be that without self-"love" one can still even have empathy? or would it be nonexistent or perhaps fake, or perhaps pity, not empathy, or perhaps even pride as in virtue-signalling, but its not empathy. .... and empathy is the bedrock, the structural support or framework of love. *Can someone without self-"love" have empathy?*
So all this time the girl I thought I loved (who's leaving my life made me extremely depressed) was not true love? Maybe it was lust or possessiveness all along. That's both relieving and really painful to hear...
BigManTate7364 Perhaps, if you can find it in yourself to still love her, no matter where she is and who she is with, then that is indeed true love. Whereas if you do feel spite or an indifference then maybe there was a greater percentage of attachment / Lust from your end. Although having said that, even though you truly love someone, the memories of having been together with them does hurt. Guess you just miss them. The one that got away. Always hurts the most. Sigh.
@@snehaiyer3139 Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply! I realize that it was true love based on what you said because I still feel only love and am happy that she's in a good relationship now because it was not meant to be me. I'm grateful for the times we shared even though the pain of missing someone is the absolute worst. I learned so much from our experience together. I guess I was a little confused by this video but now I see that it was simply a painful experience (and probably normal for any end of a relationship) and not one that was a result of me having an unhealthy attachment. I hope so anyway ;)
@Sneha Iyer Very true, me and my gf were together for so many years with multiple breakups in between and both of us struggled to find each other because none of us managed to find the self. All those breakups were very very helpful for our individual wellbeing and we always managed to find back together no matter the time we spent off eachother or the things we did in that time. Time heals all wounds and true love never really dies, sometimes you just need to find that love within yourself so you are capable of seeing it in your SO.
@@BigManTate7364I know this is 4 years later and I am probably younger than you but I myself have went through what you did just a few weeks back , I you are comfortable, can you please guide me , it’s like she’s always at the back of my mind and the thoughts of what could’ve been hurts alot
I find that that very "chaotic explosion of contradicting emotions" is what only love can give us, and that it's worth every second and heartache. And when asking, "Why in the world should we pursue something that can change from affection to hate at the flip of a switch," the answer is that you don't get to taste the sweet without some bitterness. Nor can you learn to appreciate the good without having experienced the bad. Theoretically, avoiding suffering sounds rational but in fact when we don't ever suffer, as flawed human beings, we are not capable of feeling positive emotions either. By "immortalising" his love, he deprived himself of all the beautiful things that occur between two individuals in love. Sure, there will likely be suffering, but what about the good bits? It's like asking, why would I eat when I'll be hungry again later?
@@keyanoburgess3703 Why don’t we just try to love rather than defining it? Or maybe trying to define love is itself part of love? Or maybe love is silence :P Or maybe a Dorito. Or maybe not. Maybe love simply is?
Not luck, hard work and effort pay off. With billions of people on this planet, no matter what you look like there is someone for everyone. Keep marching soldier
Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace... freedom, justice and security to my new empire.
5:20 he clearly had mommy issues. Mom dead and falls for an older girl he grew up with, and was afraid to lose. Never had a father and was afraid Obi-wan took Padme; I guess dad issues sort of too. I won't go as far as to say Freudian child psychology
Ever since I was a kid I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of love, this caused me to date females that I didn’t even truly like. Took me years to realize romance isn’t for me; I do however love my friends and family.
Do you really think Jesus words have been saved ? I mean there is lot of interpretations of what Jesus has said or could have said since nothing was written ? I thought most his real words died 60 or 70 years after his death ....
@@pa7957 lol dumb ass stop taking words too serious.. idk if u were being sarcastic or stupid coz sarcasm shouldn't be long.. it should be short and well directed.. u just shat itself with zero logic.. dumb fuck :)
I agree with the "sharing of wholeness" view. It's certainly the more enlightened approach and not incredibly common. However, I don't think the "objective" (if you'll permit me to use that term) of romantic love is to produce a lasting condition. There are dimensions of ones being that can only be fully realized and explored in conjunction with others. Ideally one goes into that endeavor with an attitude of giving, and results in real joy rather than suffering and strife. There is no guarantee that it will last however, and I think being preoccupied with such a notion is rather counterproductive. And the thing about preferential love is, while it is true one is more concerned with how the other person makes you feel, the same is true of the other person. I do not believe this in itself is indicative of pathology. Rather the pathologies spring from the failure to recognize this condition. The fact each person is reliant on the other is actually example of interdependence. And its in the exploration of interdependence that we become less egocentric, less narcissistic and less self-obsessed. However, we all come from that same place of narcissism (babies are the most narcissistic humans on the planet, in its truest sense), and its by seeing others as oneself, feeding others, as it were, that we can create heaven on earth. Yet it is actually that core of narcissism that makes all of this possible.
The 4 ingredients for true love seems to be something that applies both to love in a romantic and non romantic relationship. I think true love should invoke a sense of emotion unlike one felt by a neighbour. It should be on an elevated plane than that with loving kindness compassion joy inclusiveness and passion giving it that sense of oneness with another individual
A man I thought who is my true love and proclaimed his true love for me back has left me citing caste differences and he would never really be happy in long run... I just feel it so contradictory like how can you leave the person that you claimed in love so ardently ,to leave them in next second...Love is just an emotion ...But the longevity of relationship truly depends upon the person's involved and the maturity involved to make it work ..I feel right now people just throw away the relationship just like that without addressing the situation and commitment is lacking and always think that once they get out they will land up with the next person who will turn out to be very perfect...But in reality everyone is flawed... Excluding the deal breakers like abuse and toxicity , people really need to work their current relationship and never give up on each other....
"Love the whole world as if it were yourself, then you will truly care for all things." This resembles embracing the concept and ramifications of Ouroboros, to me. With its own shadow side of course. @Einzelganger, I reaally appreciate your work! Both info and format. Groetjes
Brilliant. Thank you, that answered so many fundamental questions I didn't know to ask. I feel so much better about myself now. A weight has been lifted. 🙏
Trough Hollywood movies, and cheesy romance novels we have been brainwashed into believing that falling in lust, and then by behaving irrationally, in an uncivilized manner become possessive of each other is true romantic love. However, this is disproved by how many couples who marry through a prearranged marriage actually stay married longer, even for life, while the romanticized couples get divorced in droves. Societies where couples love each other in a more mature manner, and stay together, raising children as a partnership, running the household almost as a business, rather purely by emotion, raise happier and more stable children, and last longer, if not until life do they part. Thanks for your video! 😊
Yes!! I learned about this in my Art appreciation class and I was shocked!! But it’s true- a logical approach to love is far more sustainable than an emotional one. Seems pretty obvious but I guess society just loves to sell us what we wish love could be NOT what it actually is:/
As someone who went through a 3 year relationship, this video speaks the truth about some parts to a long lasting relationship. Other things include needing each other (you should be fine to last at least a couple of days without yet still desire them when they return), an ability to look past arguments and remind yourself why you love them, consistently reignite the flame when it “disappears” (love is an emotion and it sometimes isn’t there which is okay, just reignite it and it’ll burn for awhile once again) and when all else fails, staying friendly while experiencing a low and still sticking with them proves your commitment. And if any wonder why it broke off, the answer is: It was no one’s fault. She decided to follow her dreams in another Country while mine was here, and since neither of us wanted to do long distance as we couldn’t put a timeframe on how long it would stay that way, it was best to end it rather than make it suffer while we still had fond memories to look over. Do I wish I had dropped everything and went with her? Absolutely. But I don’t regret my decision. I wanted to go with her, believe me.. but it was best I stayed while I had business still to deal with. And to this day I still know I made the right decision. I’m happy and feeling good, and I realise now that’s all I need love wise. That special person only adds to that happiness. As I heard my grandfather say to me about having a partner: “They should not be the reason you’re happy. Only you can decide that. And if she sees you’re happy, she will want a piece of that.”
Friend: What is Love? Me: Love is an illusion. The greater the illusion, the greater the love. The problem is that in romantic love, the chances are higher that the illusion breaks.
@@j0an-07-arc6 are those two different statements or the first one is implied by the second one? In other words, why can't an illusion take time and be a growing process?
@Satyendra Kumar I agree partially. But my addition to this is that you can grow out of that illusion together and take a look at what stays wich then can be true love as long as both manage to find beauty within that. Also that’s just for the first love (in my case, however it can probably expand into people never realizing what true love is) and when you manage to realize it you can go into any other relationship without any illusion. Or as in my case just realize that the first disillusioned love is the true love (thankfully)
@@samsonstone764 good that you found true love. Anyway, people shouldn't be attending to such comments as they do not know what kind of person is commenting. As for me, I've never been successful in love, so you can understand why I commented.
You always amaze me how poignant, relevant, and encouraging your videos are. It's obvious you have a lot of non preferential love to give to the world. Thanks.
Your philosophical view on Love is wonderful fella. With my understanding nowadays, love is like one of the greatest illusions that a Human Being can construct. And I say an illusion because in a way, it's one or both people lying to themselves when they say things like "I'll love you forever, and I never want this to end". I said such things when it felt like I was in love, but as some it is now, there are only really four certain constants in the Universe - Life, Change, Entropy, and Death. To say that something will last forever is absolutely delusional, and to want something to never end or change is an utter lie. Humans just cannot repeat the same thing over and over, regardless of how magical and pleasurable it seems at first, because it'll likely end in a kind of blissful stagnation. Human beings need variety, at least I do, or I'd go crazy. If two people genuinely care about and compliment each other, and tick all those boxes at 5:55, then it may work, but let's be honest, nowadays, that sort of bond is as rare as rocking horse shit...
lol falling head over heels for someone but knew that Einzelganger would remind me of the things I shouldn't forget. Don't search for completeness, love unconditionally.
In the U.S. a wedding contract is a recipe for huge money loss. Idk why anyone would sign on 4 it when the divorce rate is 50% & people r living way longer. See Marriage Story if u'r thinking of getting married! True love & respect is possible w/out that legal contract that u need a lawyer to break.
I actually really want to get married one day but your right it’s prettyyyy rough out there:/ But I’m not too worried about that. If people used logic when they approached love then it wouldn’t be a concern.
Remove all external and Love yourself first. Then let someone resonate with that love. you shouldnt have to suffer when you lose that person, the person was just borrowed and now returned to nature. They are all external. True love is to love yourself and let nature takes it course. Be content with your own happiness, its all within you. Love yourself first!! do not care about external
The love for everything in the world is surely a more admirable goal and when u can love at this level of capacity, you have acheived what almost 99% of people in modern day can't
Sarmad Ali I wonder if there’s a way to do intimate love without attachment. I haven’t figured it out yet but your comment made me think... because attachment can cause dependency and viceversa...
If we ever fail to become complete in ourselves, we will suffer, feel pain and agony, jealousy , hate towards other things. We should always remind ourselves that, we are complete, we are enough. We do not require anything from outside world to become completed. As soon as we wish for a person to complete us, we gave our fate to this/that person, and this is only a probability, it can be beneficial or harmful. Handing our fate is not very sensible, yes we can not change the circumstances, still we have a vast array of actions we can take. If we love ourselves, why we fear of somebody losing us? It is just like waves, they rise and fall. The Sea remains fully and completed as it was, since the beginning.
Amazing video ! so true ! i am so touched.. The only way to get over this preferential love is to constantly work on the mind that we have to be complete without the need of anyone else, and that is very wrong to pursue romantic love from a place of lack.
Yeah but DMT isn’t sustainable, love brings lasting joy. Furthermore, you have to wait 1 hour between DMT trips. When I was in love, we made love 3x in under 20 minutes.... she had just gotten a new piece of lingerie in 😏😏😏
We are wired to procreate and all that it entails. We might see it as desire of which the Tao speaks so eloquently. The Greeks split the term, "love," in various ways. My thought about Kierkegaard and his love...It worked for him but might not have worked if he wanted to raise a family. Helen Fisher's book, "Why We Love," puts a biochemical spin on the matter. Thank you for my Sunday worship of the words.
Ive been learnimg so much about falling inlove because im a working process and I want to make sure both me and my new partner will have a great journey together
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
Sally took my hand and showed me that reality is constructed in a huge factory run by little hidden creatures. While I was distracted by the beauty of that machine she surprised me by showing me that I'm one of the creatures in that cosmic factory as well, who is merely suffering from the illusion that I'm a human living in the Universe that we think we know. As I was coming to grips with that, she showed me that myself and all the other creatures running the machine are actually just singular, primal points of observation -- possessing no other actual attributes than the pure ability to know. Before I could process all of this I was gently transformed back into my body and sent home again.
Again, you said exactly what i needed to hear. It is easy to live for the love of others, to expect them to make feel whole, as you don't have to deal with it yourself. But it's also a lot to ask and like you said "it's unreliable". Now, how am i supposed fill that "something" left by others, as someone who's always seeked love for happyness; how should i overcome the fear of abandon so deeply ungraved in me? stoïcism seems like a good idea however i don't know what step to take first. greatings from France :)
First, let go of everything. Disappear for a month or however long you need to figure out the things that actually make you happy. Don't seek human connection at this phase. Try to be independent and wholesome. A solo trip to some place new is a great way to boost this process. Soon, you'll realise how little influence others have on you. Learn something new. Invest into something new. And when you feel you're complete on your own, only then seek connection with others. Find your path first, then let someone else walk along side you. Best wishes.
@@cosmik3973 agree. I do disagree with the independent part. I do not now what you mean there. Independent in thoughts sure. But practice dependency little by little to the point where their absence no longer affects you. You can't control others but you can certainly learn to control how you feel. I'm lying to myself. Thank you for your comments.
"Romantic love is about sharing our own completeness with another person..., not finding someone to complete us" This is so true! I wish I knew this earlier. Instead, I grew up with the mentality that I needed to find someone that completes me, yet wondering why I can't complete myself!! What an ironic life for an independent person 😏
Okay, now I fear, that I will never experience love and forever stay lonely, because I don't know how emotions work and when I'm not suppose to follow physical or intellectual attraction, which is connected to lust, than I can not trust any feeling connected with it, which means I can never love and stay alone, because in the second I feel attraction, I'm already wrong. Think about it, when love yourself, you want to protect what you love and therefore you can not put yourself out there to love someone else, because you could get hurt, you could make a horrible mistake, so that you could end up hating yourself. If you love someone, you would never risk this persons health or wellbeing, but if you love yorself and you start loving someone else, you are risking the wellbeing of someone else you love, which would be yourself. This means, if you truly utterly love yourself, you would never fall in love with someone else. If you truly love yourself, you end about alone. I don't want that.
This was exactly my thinking while watching this as well. I'm tired of being alone, and I do want a romantic partner, but apparently preferences and such are ultimately not love. But ultimately what I think this video shows is that...we don't all think of love as the same. And what I would say to people is: Let people live their lives, let people love who they'll love sometimes it's best just to leave it at that. Simple. At least for me.
@@goblinleafyboi I chalk it up to society's whole "self love" nonsense. Being told I have to love myself before I can love another is crap and does more harm than good. Love cannot work if the two in love dont have a reliance on each other. That's why the term "my other half" exists. I've learned more about real true love from an anime I rewatch alot than I have from this world and its people. The love I saw between the two main characters is the love I want but since I'm not a virgin and my standards of real true love are high, plus I'm pushing 30 I know I wont find it in this lifetime.
@@BansheeKing22 I agree, I also think the mentality of "you won't find something until you're not looking for it" goes along with that and is equally nonsense. Because if that was the case I'll never find anything I desire. I do think it's important to love yourself, but it's an ongoing process not a peak you reach and stop at, and I've found it's so much easier to love other people than yourself. It really makes me happy to see someone else seeing a love in a fictional world as a goal, because there have been countless times I've seen relationships play out in fiction and find myself wanting that. I know it may be corny to say, and maybe others have said this to you before...and I'm always struggling with convincing myself of this but, don't give up. Just because you don't meet the criteria to have the love the characters had in the anime doesn't make you any less deserving of it. You can still have that love, so please don't give up. At least, have some hope. Sorry if that seemed preachy, I'm talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to you. All I'm saying is that, don't give up on trying to find that love you crave, that you need. I really hope you find it. I really do.
@@goblinleafyboi Thank you. I try everyday to have even a little bit of hope even though it gets harder and harder. I hope you find what you're looking for too. And dont worry if it sounds corny, to be honest corny isn't a bad thing.
@@BansheeKing22 Glad to find someone who doesn't mind a bit of corn. X) Yeah, I understand that completely, it getting harder as time goes on. But I hope we can both keep going, I know it gives me just a bit more strength knowing someone else is fighting for something they want similar to me. I meant that in a good way, like you give me inspiration to keep going. Sorry if it didn't sound that way, or maybe it's just my overthinking. Just know I'm rooting for you kind stranger! \(>O
Love is something we have to. It make us stronger. It make us competitive and it trick us to choose the path we think we have a choice. it trick us to make kids . We are human. Why don't we love?
Giving love without any attachments and desires is the most fulfilling. and with time you will find another like you. everyone desires to be happy, so it's unreasonable to think you are ever alone in love.
"But completeness is not something to be found anywhere but in ourselves..."
+ *burp*
Deep.
Your profile pic goes too well with this lol
@@c_dubbzz6127 Haha. Yes.
I think we could perhaps benefit from acknowledging that "completeness" in the spiritual and psychological sense includes "incompleteness". As in, our Self is an ongoing project. The "journey is the destination" sort of thing.
But also, in another but related sense, we are "complete individuals" but we are also only a "part" of greater phenomena. Like how every cell in our body is complete in that it is indeed an individual, complete cellular entity, but it is only a part of the organ, and the organ is only a part of the organism, and the organism is only one of many entities that participate in the biosphere.
So I don't think a hard line stance of total dogmatic acceptance of the "completeness of the individual" is congruent with reality. But some illusions are useful, depending on where one is at.
" Her happiness is not my responsibility. She should be happy and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone a responsibility to make you happy when you can't do it for yourself is selfish"
- Will Smith
Well said.
@@howtoshotbow6961 the truth
But what if the partner has depression? They can't help that and the other partner loves them and wants to stay with them
@@Evanthenerd12345 You should try to determine the cause of the depression. If your partner is experiencing depression from rational thoughts, then the best you can do is make recommendations for self-improvement (such as exercising, eating healthy, or visiting a doctor) and hope that they commit. If they fail to undergo any of these things on their own and require your assistance to do them, then their happiness is conditional on your assistance (external), so it is not virtuous. All of this is different, of course, if they suffer from something like PTSD or Dementia.
@@Evanthenerd12345 then everyone is Fook
"True love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving."
- Abraham Twerski
Giving and receiving
works both ways
between two lovers
that are equals
who work together
on every level
Giving and Taking
doesn’t work
between two lovers
that are a couple
because it is one sided .
One side is
doing all the giving
while the other side
is doing all of the taking .
Daniel Chadwick !
Thanos
The only time
that you shall change your mind ;
is when Love ✨♥️♥️✨finally finds you .
When it does
may your mind be peaceful 😇
and may your heart be full of Love ✨♥️✨.
Thanos What is mgtow !
@@NotHumant8727 Giving without expecting to receive.
@Thanos Love is loving not felling.
In the end , and trust me as someone who has looked death in the eye , crying in my bed wish for more time , in the end all you want is to feel true love and to know you have given that back.
God bless you thank you for sharing
Let's pray and make it happen
Very well said Kevin Hollis. ♥️
kevin.... positive vibes being sent your way.
That made tears come to my eyes
Unfortunately, in this day and age, a romanticised notion of love has become synonymous with possessiveness - manifestation of ego
*A true love is for life itself*
Dude i see you everywhere ... no matter what you do , you'll never grow your channel any bigger because your content sucks
right
T Interesting how Ossien has grown by thousands in the past months
you should write a book bro.
T - Do you feel any better now?
Entering a relationship should be an emotional decision. Leaving a relationship should be a logical decision. too often it's the opposite
@J G most conservative (literal not political) apparently. Looking for the income, background, and other qualities they have rather than a spark of feelings. People divorce because they argued about little things, selfish reasons, and boredom instead of for financial, domestic violence, and other life-changing reasons.
@J G A good example would be people that marry or enter a relationship for money / security.
@J G People who see it as a business contract.
Most people enter and leave relationships with emotional intensity.
Both are emotional
What I learnt about romantic love is this kind of love creating illusions and fantasies.And when the person who we claim we love so much can not fullfil it, we hurt so much.
Yes but it is possible to reassess the situation and find it again the right way. It’s just about it not being conditional, and just as you can learn to love yourself unconditionally (wich you must), you can learn to love your SO unconditionally. I think it’s sadder to let a love die because you accept that you tried to fulfill a phantasy/desire/lust than to realize the problem within yourself and your desires and start setting it apart, if there really is true love beneath all those problems it will still be there after you finished your journey to self love.
this statement pretty much explain my situation right now lol. i really do have to change my way of understanding 'love'
If we are working on ourselves to our fullest extent, what force then compels a loving partner into our lives?...
This is a sign that the one that hurts from heartbreak doesn't love himself, or herself enough. I've been broken like that before and now I get it. We project ideals on others and this is a recipe for bad things to happen.
Not love creates, it's you who created all those illusions and fantasies, and actually it's bad not only for you but for a partner also - they doomed to obey your illusions, that's abusive.
I loved someone so much. I turned blind to the red flags, broke my own rules, changed to be more suited for her, and thought of her as my world. Yet she’s unpredictable, inconsistent, secretive, spiteful, and won’t fight for me. After me, she has a lot choices to pick from. It’s not that painful to lose her, it only brought me peace.
Good. Just don't change yourself. Love you for you.
😢😢💯💯 salute 🫡 soldier
if you love a girl with red flags so much, that you want to sail the 7 seas with her :D ik the feeling.
but did you really change ? for example, i do currently have a crush on a girl and i quit smoking. the target of me getting a relationship gave me the strenght to do this ( again ).
i also say i wont change for people but i can improve myself dont i?
@@deformiertergolfball4847We should always improve ourselves, love can give us the energy to do this. The rarity in love comes from a well of contentment and passion. On its own it can lead you down the wrong path but when you combine contentment and passion with a deep understanding of yourself and your lover, you can grow more with and without them. Learn from everything.
As someone who's had many serious & trivial romantic relationships & subsequent break-ups, a divorce but ultimately found happiness with my wife for almost two decades now, I believe that true love comes from within. First, one has to love himself/herself (without devolving into narcissism or extreme self-love), love the world & find happiness in themselves when they are single & alone. Later, when the opportunity presents itself, you can share that love with someone else who will reciprocate it & will not depend on you to make them happy or vice versa. Too many times we hear the phrase "she makes me happy" or "he makes me happy". I believe that viewpoint is very detrimental and can lead to pain & suffering when you depend on this external source for happiness. No one can make you happy, only yourself. Find someone who has the same perspective and share your loves with each other, without any dependence on each other. It's not always easy to find such a person but sometimes they will find you. Just be patient & open, don't rush into any relationships too soon, especially after a break-up or divorce. Give yourself time to find your inner peace & love first, then share it with that special someone.
This is bullshit! having relationship with a woman or a girl can make you happy!
No one is perfect. One doesn't have to love themselves to love someone else. That's BS. Everyone's story is different. How can one not depend on another at least on some level? People aren't robots.
@@CBT5777 true love is when you stay together no matter what problems appear and not because you have a problems. Do not make your partner a "solver", don't put that burden on them.
@@MaruskaStarshaya True love is when you're willing to sacrifice yourself for another person. So yes, I would agree with you. But, one can fall out of love very easily. Love is fleeting.
Love yourself first then be one with other's love. wholesome 100 is the key
This is exactly what is happening to me, some people are like "Womans are bitches" or "Marrying will steal a lot of money from me" and i'm like "i don't think i'm good enough" or "She'll never like me" because i can't love myself...
But i'm willing to change this
felipe costa
Don’t worry man, loving yourself can take time but you will eventually achieve it. Know your own value and always be working to improve yourself however you can. You could pick up a hobby, maybe do some charity work, meditate, etc. Change what you can, and simply accept what you cannot change.
And don’t dwell on those people who say “women are all bitches” or “they only want your money.” Some of them are speaking from their own mistakes/misfortune and others simply want to stroke their ego with the idea that no woman is worthy of him.
Great way to phrase this.
@felipe costa
Stay strong I am there aswell.
Key is to let go of all the people who make you think the wrong way and try to embrace evil within you. I had to learn that aswell, cut a lot of these people out of my life wich was hard, because I am generally a good person and try to see good things in everybody. But key is to rather stay home or go with positive people that help you set your mind onto the woman you want to love, that’s also the route on wich you’ll find self love automatically.
Biased nonsense
I’m thankful that the first person I fell in love with was not lust. I was quite closed up at the time, and only really ever talked to them because of their insistence. Eventually we became friends due to our similar interests which surprised me because of how obviously different we were from each other. I looked forward to seeing them more and more until I realized it was becoming harder and harder to say goodbye. I had finally realized what my problem was when spring break came around and I found myself lacking something. When the break finally ended, I looked at them much differently than before. Everything about them was the same, but somehow better. I payed more attention to small things like the little grin they would give every time they walked into our classroom, the change in tone when speaking to me, how obviously confident they were. It was like meeting a whole new person all over again. I had never felt this way before about anyone, and it made me change the way I started acting and feeling around them. While I was much happier and open than before, it came at the cost of me forgetting how they really were to everyone. I kept expecting them to act differently to me because I cared so much without thinking about how much they cared about me. Eventually, their personality and mine stopped bouncing off each other, and what was left of the friendship quickly fell as quickly as it began. The feeling was definitely not mutual between us, and seemingly one petty interaction brewed into a final argument that led us to never speak again.
Sorry for the rant. I get lost in my own feelings sometimes. Especially on this particular topic. There was a lot of lessons learned about love and it’s balance between giving and receiving that love. I think it’s important to hold your horses in a relationship because rushing, especially without the certainty that they feel the same way, only ends in heartbreak. Despite all of the issues that developed, I will always look at the first “relationship” in reverence to what it helped me become. It gave me a positive outlook, a more open personality, and motivation to improve myself that I honestly didn’t care enough about before to work on.
Thank you for sharing your story
Lust is a term invented by the Christian church as a means of control, to lower the rates of rape in medieval Europe.
just what i needed to hear. thanks for sharing
Them-their?
Something i have always had a disagreement with is "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else." Why? Sure, i do understand the importance of self care, self esteem, and being in a healthy mindset (Even though most of these things tend to lack), yet i would much rather spend that time caring for my significant other. I have endless buckets filled with love for him, as there is nothing i wouldn't do for him. I love seeing his smile, hearing his laugh, just him being himself in his purest form! I care for him when he's sick, listen to him and his thoughts, etc. I do not love myself, rather quite the opposite. Love can strike the heart when you least expect it to, as it had me; and it was terrifyingly beautiful.
Thats the most beautiful thing I ever heard. Respect ✊🏼
What you said truly encompasses what we all are capable of deep down inside. We have more joy giving than receiving. When they hurt, you hurt, etc. Imagine a world ruled by pure love, putting others interests first.
Why? IMO (And with the utmost respect ) when they Inevitably leave your life at some point (which is reality)… what will make u happy? Your happiness should spring forth from yourself, be found within. have to love yourself, be solid in yourself , not be Dependent on someone else for the feelings you describe. When this person inevitably leaves your life, you will experience a deep sense of lack because you have invested all your happiness into them. If your happiness is based on making them smile,… Then your happiness is not from within, it’s directly linked to them like a drug or unhealthy addiction.. The feelings that they have awoken inside of you, if you realize them and find them on your own, they become more true more strong, and you can enjoy your life more fully without having your happiness come from one source. It comes from within. From you. Cus you don’t need anyone but yourself in this world . Everyone else is an added bonus. This is just me speaking based on life experience. It’s a kindness to yourself, others, and the world, to be emotionally responsible & to be the source of your own happiness.
@@lovelyrita64 Can it be that without self-"love" one can still even have empathy? or would it be nonexistent or perhaps fake, or perhaps pity, not empathy, or perhaps even pride as in virtue-signalling, but its not empathy. .... and empathy is the bedrock, the structural support or framework of love. *Can someone without self-"love" have empathy?*
So all this time the girl I thought I loved (who's leaving my life made me extremely depressed) was not true love? Maybe it was lust or possessiveness all along. That's both relieving and really painful to hear...
BigManTate7364 Perhaps, if you can find it in yourself to still love her, no matter where she is and who she is with, then that is indeed true love. Whereas if you do feel spite or an indifference then maybe there was a greater percentage of attachment / Lust from your end.
Although having said that, even though you truly love someone, the memories of having been together with them does hurt. Guess you just miss them.
The one that got away. Always hurts the most. Sigh.
@@snehaiyer3139 Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply! I realize that it was true love based on what you said because I still feel only love and am happy that she's in a good relationship now because it was not meant to be me. I'm grateful for the times we shared even though the pain of missing someone is the absolute worst. I learned so much from our experience together.
I guess I was a little confused by this video but now I see that it was simply a painful experience (and probably normal for any end of a relationship) and not one that was a result of me having an unhealthy attachment. I hope so anyway ;)
@Sneha Iyer
Very true, me and my gf were together for so many years with multiple breakups in between and both of us struggled to find each other because none of us managed to find the self. All those breakups were very very helpful for our individual wellbeing and we always managed to find back together no matter the time we spent off eachother or the things we did in that time. Time heals all wounds and true love never really dies, sometimes you just need to find that love within yourself so you are capable of seeing it in your SO.
@@BigManTate7364I know this is 4 years later and I am probably younger than you but I myself have went through what you did just a few weeks back , I you are comfortable, can you please guide me , it’s like she’s always at the back of my mind and the thoughts of what could’ve been hurts alot
I find that that very "chaotic explosion of contradicting emotions" is what only love can give us, and that it's worth every second and heartache.
And when asking, "Why in the world should we pursue something that can change from affection to hate at the flip of a switch," the answer is that you don't get to taste the sweet without some bitterness. Nor can you learn to appreciate the good without having experienced the bad.
Theoretically, avoiding suffering sounds rational but in fact when we don't ever suffer, as flawed human beings, we are not capable of feeling positive emotions either.
By "immortalising" his love, he deprived himself of all the beautiful things that occur between two individuals in love. Sure, there will likely be suffering, but what about the good bits?
It's like asking, why would I eat when I'll be hungry again later?
@marijastrahinjic7329 Best Comment ! ♥
*Love is the unconditional want for subject's happiness.*
I have learned this when I was 20. Now I am 30 and I still stand by my definition of love.
How beautiful that you get to spend the rest of your life with this definition! 😊
Instead, why not just skip all these definitions and just call love love?
@@keyanoburgess3703 Why don’t we just try to love rather than defining it?
Or maybe trying to define love is itself part of love?
Or maybe love is silence :P
Or maybe a Dorito. Or maybe not.
Maybe love simply is?
This 👊👍
You know its gonna be a good day when Einzelgänger
uploads.
Honestly your videos usually calm me down, but this one has me feeling pretty stressed. But on that note, very fulfilling and thoughtful video
I have dreamed with love ever since I was a kid. People who can have it are so lucky
Not luck, hard work and effort pay off. With billions of people on this planet, no matter what you look like there is someone for everyone. Keep marching soldier
"You've turned her against me!!! You will not take her from me!!" - Anakin Skywalker
That makes me want to say something cheesey like, she will never leave you! Don't believe the hype....
My desire to rewrite stories
Also "I hate sand" Anakin Skywalker
Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan.
I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do.
I have brought peace...
freedom, justice and security to my new empire.
@@thechosenone8808 Your new empire?
5:20 he clearly had mommy issues. Mom dead and falls for an older girl he grew up with, and was afraid to lose. Never had a father and was afraid Obi-wan took Padme; I guess dad issues sort of too. I won't go as far as to say Freudian child psychology
Ever since I was a kid I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of love, this caused me to date females that I didn’t even truly like. Took me years to realize romance isn’t for me; I do however love my friends and family.
This page and pursuit of wonder just teaches me so much
"Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love"
-Miyamoto Musashi
Jesus christ, this channel is SAVING MY LIFE. Absolute genius. Thank you so much. You help me breath when i feel i am sinking. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Do you really think Jesus words have been saved ? I mean there is lot of interpretations of what Jesus has said or could have said since nothing was written ? I thought most his real words died 60 or 70 years after his death ....
@@pa7957 lol dumb ass stop taking words too serious.. idk if u were being sarcastic or stupid coz sarcasm shouldn't be long.. it should be short and well directed.. u just shat itself with zero logic.. dumb fuck :)
@@sfjlfkjsdlfkjds Jesus was more buddhist, kinder .. Saul was more misogynist , he had sexual problems .. Saul created a story of Jesus , totally ....
@Stavros S. hahahaha now you know that punctuation is important, say thanks to your linguistic teachers 🤣🤣🤣
Ωπ γεια
Recognise lust, infatuation and obsession for what it is, and stop calling it love 😍
I agree with the "sharing of wholeness" view. It's certainly the more enlightened approach and not incredibly common. However, I don't think the "objective" (if you'll permit me to use that term) of romantic love is to produce a lasting condition. There are dimensions of ones being that can only be fully realized and explored in conjunction with others. Ideally one goes into that endeavor with an attitude of giving, and results in real joy rather than suffering and strife. There is no guarantee that it will last however, and I think being preoccupied with such a notion is rather counterproductive.
And the thing about preferential love is, while it is true one is more concerned with how the other person makes you feel, the same is true of the other person. I do not believe this in itself is indicative of pathology. Rather the pathologies spring from the failure to recognize this condition. The fact each person is reliant on the other is actually example of interdependence. And its in the exploration of interdependence that we become less egocentric, less narcissistic and less self-obsessed. However, we all come from that same place of narcissism (babies are the most narcissistic humans on the planet, in its truest sense), and its by seeing others as oneself, feeding others, as it were, that we can create heaven on earth. Yet it is actually that core of narcissism that makes all of this possible.
svperuzer Gotta love the way you express yourself uwu
Interesting point of view, btw.
The 4 ingredients for true love seems to be something that applies both to love in a romantic and non romantic relationship. I think true love should invoke a sense of emotion unlike one felt by a neighbour. It should be on an elevated plane than that with loving kindness compassion joy inclusiveness and passion giving it that sense of oneness with another individual
If only everyone listened to this before entering into a relationship! This information is extremely important and 100% real. Thank you!
A man I thought who is my true love and proclaimed his true love for me back has left me citing caste differences and he would never really be happy in long run... I just feel it so contradictory like how can you leave the person that you claimed in love so ardently ,to leave them in next second...Love is just an emotion ...But the longevity of relationship truly depends upon the person's involved and the maturity involved to make it work ..I feel right now people just throw away the relationship just like that without addressing the situation and commitment is lacking and always think that once they get out they will land up with the next person who will turn out to be very perfect...But in reality everyone is flawed... Excluding the deal breakers like abuse and toxicity , people really need to work their current relationship and never give up on each other....
"Love the whole world as if it were yourself, then you will truly care for all things." This resembles embracing the concept and ramifications of Ouroboros, to me. With its own shadow side of course.
@Einzelganger, I reaally appreciate your work! Both info and format.
Groetjes
Brilliant. Thank you, that answered so many fundamental questions I didn't know to ask. I feel so much better about myself now. A weight has been lifted. 🙏
My favorite philosophy channel having a wild crossover with starwars .
heartbreak literally feels like a metal rod being stabbed through your heart repeatedly
Trough Hollywood movies, and cheesy romance novels we have been brainwashed into believing that falling in lust, and then by behaving irrationally, in an uncivilized manner become possessive of each other is true romantic love. However, this is disproved by how many couples who marry through a prearranged marriage actually stay married longer, even for life, while the romanticized couples get divorced in droves. Societies where couples love each other in a more mature manner, and stay together, raising children as a partnership, running the household almost as a business, rather purely by emotion, raise happier and more stable children, and last longer, if not until life do they part. Thanks for your video! 😊
Yes!! I learned about this in my Art appreciation class and I was shocked!! But it’s true- a logical approach to love is far more sustainable than an emotional one. Seems pretty obvious but I guess society just loves to sell us what we wish love could be NOT what it actually is:/
HIGHLANDER well explained..
Just because they are together longer doesn't mean they are happy together.
💯
@@youtubesucks2755 so true
As someone who went through a 3 year relationship, this video speaks the truth about some parts to a long lasting relationship. Other things include needing each other (you should be fine to last at least a couple of days without yet still desire them when they return), an ability to look past arguments and remind yourself why you love them, consistently reignite the flame when it “disappears” (love is an emotion and it sometimes isn’t there which is okay, just reignite it and it’ll burn for awhile once again) and when all else fails, staying friendly while experiencing a low and still sticking with them proves your commitment.
And if any wonder why it broke off, the answer is: It was no one’s fault. She decided to follow her dreams in another Country while mine was here, and since neither of us wanted to do long distance as we couldn’t put a timeframe on how long it would stay that way, it was best to end it rather than make it suffer while we still had fond memories to look over.
Do I wish I had dropped everything and went with her? Absolutely. But I don’t regret my decision. I wanted to go with her, believe me.. but it was best I stayed while I had business still to deal with. And to this day I still know I made the right decision. I’m happy and feeling good, and I realise now that’s all I need love wise. That special person only adds to that happiness.
As I heard my grandfather say to me about having a partner:
“They should not be the reason you’re happy. Only you can decide that. And if she sees you’re happy, she will want a piece of that.”
Friend: What is Love?
Me: Love is an illusion. The greater the illusion, the greater the love. The problem is that in romantic love, the chances are higher that the illusion breaks.
Satyendra Kumar love is not a illusion it takes time it’s a growing process
@@j0an-07-arc6 are those two different statements or the first one is implied by the second one? In other words, why can't an illusion take time and be a growing process?
Satyendra Kumar you miss understood what I meant
@Satyendra Kumar
I agree partially.
But my addition to this is that you can grow out of that illusion together and take a look at what stays wich then can be true love as long as both manage to find beauty within that. Also that’s just for the first love (in my case, however it can probably expand into people never realizing what true love is) and when you manage to realize it you can go into any other relationship without any illusion. Or as in my case just realize that the first disillusioned love is the true love (thankfully)
@@samsonstone764 good that you found true love.
Anyway, people shouldn't be attending to such comments as they do not know what kind of person is commenting. As for me, I've never been successful in love, so you can understand why I commented.
You always amaze me how poignant, relevant, and encouraging your videos are. It's obvious you have a lot of non preferential love to give to the world. Thanks.
Your channel is such a blessing!
Truly said , true love gives happiness, it's the other name of giving without expecting anything in return 👌💝
Your philosophical view on Love is wonderful fella. With my understanding nowadays, love is like one of the greatest illusions that a Human Being can construct. And I say an illusion because in a way, it's one or both people lying to themselves when they say things like "I'll love you forever, and I never want this to end". I said such things when it felt like I was in love, but as some it is now, there are only really four certain constants in the Universe - Life, Change, Entropy, and Death.
To say that something will last forever is absolutely delusional, and to want something to never end or change is an utter lie. Humans just cannot repeat the same thing over and over, regardless of how magical and pleasurable it seems at first, because it'll likely end in a kind of blissful stagnation. Human beings need variety, at least I do, or I'd go crazy.
If two people genuinely care about and compliment each other, and tick all those boxes at 5:55, then it may work, but let's be honest, nowadays, that sort of bond is as rare as rocking horse shit...
How I would've loved to be alive in Kierkegaard's time, before tech and overstimulation flattened our emotional capacity... great video as always!
lol falling head over heels for someone but knew that Einzelganger would remind me of the things I shouldn't forget. Don't search for completeness, love unconditionally.
Such a grounded, wise and comforting message. Your work is amazing, please keep going!!
Whatsaap him"**
*_Falling in Love: The Sweetest Poison_*
Wow I feel like this video has answered questions and has set a path for me to follow moving forward
Thank you for this lesson. Once again - extremely thought provoking.
Thank you for this philosophical enlightenment
You really have to feel complete or near complete by yourself to have a healthy romantic relationship. It can't get more true than that. Good Video!
No
Stay single :^
In the U.S. a wedding contract is a recipe for huge money loss. Idk why anyone would sign on 4 it when the divorce rate is 50% & people r living way longer. See Marriage Story if u'r thinking of getting married! True love & respect is possible w/out that legal contract that u need a lawyer to break.
suzanne adamson wish there were more women like you honestly, marriage is just slavery
Joel Sennerstrand prenups are invalid after 5 years
Lol
I actually really want to get married one day but your right it’s prettyyyy rough out there:/ But I’m not too worried about that. If people used logic when they approached love then it wouldn’t be a concern.
I love this Chanel it make me happy and bring me peace thank you so much
Remove all external and Love yourself first. Then let someone resonate with that love. you shouldnt have to suffer when you lose that person, the person was just borrowed and now returned to nature. They are all external. True love is to love yourself and let nature takes it course. Be content with your own happiness, its all within you. Love yourself first!! do not care about external
this channel is pure gold 🖤
This was WONDERFUL and insightful...and what I was on the cusp of figuring out in my life. Thank you. I really enjoy and appreciate your work!
The love for everything in the world is surely a more admirable goal and when u can love at this level of capacity, you have acheived what almost 99% of people in modern day can't
This Channel should have a podcast
Falling in love is awful when it's not with the right person.
I fell head over heels in love at 15 years old, I made sure that love, didn't come about that way again. Peace be unto you.
Thank you for this. I believe in true love. I'm learning to make myself as whole as possible.
I think intimate love cannot exist without certain kinds of
dependencies.
Sarmad Ali I wonder if there’s a way to do intimate love without attachment. I haven’t figured it out yet but your comment made me think... because attachment can cause dependency and viceversa...
MBINTL I don’t think love can exist without taking the risk, pain is the rite of passage for love
This image at @3:25 ? So beautiful! Thank you for providing links in the description!
High quality filming and good talk. Good job sir
If we ever fail to become complete in ourselves, we will suffer, feel pain and agony, jealousy , hate towards other things. We should always remind ourselves that, we are complete, we are enough. We do not require anything from outside world to become completed. As soon as we wish for a person to complete us, we gave our fate to this/that person, and this is only a probability, it can be beneficial or harmful. Handing our fate is not very sensible, yes we can not change the circumstances, still we have a vast array of actions we can take.
If we love ourselves, why we fear of somebody losing us? It is just like waves, they rise and fall. The Sea remains fully and completed as it was, since the beginning.
Holy shit thank you so much for this! So weird that you posted this at a time I needed it the most but so cool too! Thanks!
Amazing video ! so true ! i am so touched.. The only way to get over this preferential love is to constantly work on the mind that we have to be complete without the need of anyone else, and that is very wrong to pursue romantic love from a place of lack.
This channel is just sooo good!
This video is mind blowing, great work!!
Thank you. You are providing a wonderful service to humanity.
I love, then I get paranoid, I cant love
love does not claim, only allows and gives.
“Love is the most intense experiences human can have”...
Actually DMT is. But love is up there.
Joe Rogan what are you doing here?
Malik Jackson haha that gave me a good laugh.
Mycalling621 meditation too
Yeah but DMT isn’t sustainable, love brings lasting joy. Furthermore, you have to wait 1 hour between DMT trips. When I was in love, we made love 3x in under 20 minutes.... she had just gotten a new piece of lingerie in 😏😏😏
@@keyanoburgess3703 Touché
Alvast bedankt voor deze video Einzelganger!
One of your best videos thank you my guy
This channel gives away the truth of life
‘‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
Percy Bysshe Shelley
We are wired to procreate and all that it entails. We might see it as desire of which the Tao speaks so eloquently. The Greeks split the term, "love," in various ways. My thought about Kierkegaard and his love...It worked for him but might not have worked if he wanted to raise a family. Helen Fisher's book, "Why We Love," puts a biochemical spin on the matter. Thank you for my Sunday worship of the words.
Ive been learnimg so much about falling inlove because im a working process and I want to make sure both me and my new partner will have a great journey together
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse.
People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
passionate preferential love is the power you give someone to destroy you but trusting them not to
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has to replay this video a couple of times in order to understand it, right?
Kia ora from New Zealand. sometimes Love can be to little to late I was in my late 20s but it was 10 years to late
Sally took my hand and showed me that reality is constructed in a huge factory run by little hidden creatures. While I was distracted by the beauty of that machine she surprised me by showing me that I'm one of the creatures in that cosmic factory as well, who is merely suffering from the illusion that I'm a human living in the Universe that we think we know. As I was coming to grips with that, she showed me that myself and all the other creatures running the machine are actually just singular, primal points of observation -- possessing no other actual attributes than the pure ability to know. Before I could process all of this I was gently transformed back into my body and sent home again.
Fantastic video as always
This channel is extraordinary!
Mmm elevated to the domain of the sacred 💋 I lovvve LOVE ❤ connections fuel while attachments drain...
Again, you said exactly what i needed to hear. It is easy to live for the love of others, to expect them to make feel whole, as you don't have to deal with it yourself.
But it's also a lot to ask and like you said "it's unreliable".
Now, how am i supposed fill that "something" left by others, as someone who's always seeked love for happyness; how should i overcome the fear of abandon so deeply ungraved in me? stoïcism seems like a good idea however i don't know what step to take first.
greatings from France :)
First, let go of everything. Disappear for a month or however long you need to figure out the things that actually make you happy. Don't seek human connection at this phase. Try to be independent and wholesome. A solo trip to some place new is a great way to boost this process. Soon, you'll realise how little influence others have on you. Learn something new. Invest into something new. And when you feel you're complete on your own, only then seek connection with others. Find your path first, then let someone else walk along side you. Best wishes.
@@cosmik3973 agree. I do disagree with the independent part. I do not now what you mean there. Independent in thoughts sure. But practice dependency little by little to the point where their absence no longer affects you. You can't control others but you can certainly learn to control how you feel. I'm lying to myself. Thank you for your comments.
ProgRAMmer your comment confused me
You've said you loved that flower,why did you picked it up.... Now its dead.
I love your videos. Thank you making them.
*Idk why I watch this in valentine when I'm a single potato with no passion for doing anything lmao-*
"If you aren't satisfied with yourself, you won't really be with a partner either."
You're awesome dude. Love your videos.
This is so good
So beautifully explained!
Loved watching this video thank you for sharing :)
Completeness begin in ourselves.
"Romantic love is about sharing our own completeness with another person..., not finding someone to complete us" This is so true!
I wish I knew this earlier. Instead, I grew up with the mentality that I needed to find someone that completes me, yet wondering why I can't complete myself!! What an ironic life for an independent person 😏
Thank you Einzelganger
Okay, now I fear, that I will never experience love and forever stay lonely, because I don't know how emotions work and when I'm not suppose to follow physical or intellectual attraction, which is connected to lust, than I can not trust any feeling connected with it, which means I can never love and stay alone, because in the second I feel attraction, I'm already wrong.
Think about it, when love yourself, you want to protect what you love and therefore you can not put yourself out there to love someone else, because you could get hurt, you could make a horrible mistake, so that you could end up hating yourself.
If you love someone, you would never risk this persons health or wellbeing, but if you love yorself and you start loving someone else, you are risking the wellbeing of someone else you love, which would be yourself. This means, if you truly utterly love yourself, you would never fall in love with someone else.
If you truly love yourself, you end about alone. I don't want that.
This was exactly my thinking while watching this as well. I'm tired of being alone, and I do want a romantic partner, but apparently preferences and such are ultimately not love. But ultimately what I think this video shows is that...we don't all think of love as the same. And what I would say to people is: Let people live their lives, let people love who they'll love sometimes it's best just to leave it at that. Simple. At least for me.
@@goblinleafyboi I chalk it up to society's whole "self love" nonsense. Being told I have to love myself before I can love another is crap and does more harm than good. Love cannot work if the two in love dont have a reliance on each other. That's why the term "my other half" exists. I've learned more about real true love from an anime I rewatch alot than I have from this world and its people. The love I saw between the two main characters is the love I want but since I'm not a virgin and my standards of real true love are high, plus I'm pushing 30 I know I wont find it in this lifetime.
@@BansheeKing22 I agree, I also think the mentality of "you won't find something until you're not looking for it" goes along with that and is equally nonsense. Because if that was the case I'll never find anything I desire. I do think it's important to love yourself, but it's an ongoing process not a peak you reach and stop at, and I've found it's so much easier to love other people than yourself. It really makes me happy to see someone else seeing a love in a fictional world as a goal, because there have been countless times I've seen relationships play out in fiction and find myself wanting that.
I know it may be corny to say, and maybe others have said this to you before...and I'm always struggling with convincing myself of this but, don't give up. Just because you don't meet the criteria to have the love the characters had in the anime doesn't make you any less deserving of it. You can still have that love, so please don't give up. At least, have some hope.
Sorry if that seemed preachy, I'm talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to you. All I'm saying is that, don't give up on trying to find that love you crave, that you need. I really hope you find it. I really do.
@@goblinleafyboi Thank you. I try everyday to have even a little bit of hope even though it gets harder and harder. I hope you find what you're looking for too. And dont worry if it sounds corny, to be honest corny isn't a bad thing.
@@BansheeKing22 Glad to find someone who doesn't mind a bit of corn. X) Yeah, I understand that completely, it getting harder as time goes on. But I hope we can both keep going, I know it gives me just a bit more strength knowing someone else is fighting for something they want similar to me. I meant that in a good way, like you give me inspiration to keep going. Sorry if it didn't sound that way, or maybe it's just my overthinking. Just know I'm rooting for you kind stranger! \(>O
Love is something we have to. It make us stronger. It make us competitive and it trick us to choose the path we think we have a choice. it trick us to make kids . We are human. Why don't we love?
There is a diffrence between the honey moon and true love
Giving love without any attachments and desires is the most fulfilling. and with time you will find another like you. everyone desires to be happy, so it's unreasonable to think you are ever alone in love.
Amazing.. this video inspire me so much.. Thanks for the enlightment ❤