0:00 Intro 4:09 Marriage vs single motherhood 6:52 The stats 19:10 White single motherhood 24:33 Black single mother optics 28:22 Cherry picking representation 32:03 Good fathers vs husbands 38:03 Wives pandering to single mothers 44:44 Rich women & high risk marriage 54:21 Women who regret having children 58:48 Wanting the baby and not the man 59:48 Steve Harvey’s warning to Keke 1:17:32 Desperation & refusal to date out 1:21:18 Shaming single mothers Join Patreon www.patreon.com/chrissiesway Become a RUclips Channel Member bit.ly/JoinChrissieYT Shop www.amazon.com/shop/chrissie Sign Up for Mailing List bit.ly/ChrissieMailingList Donate www.cash.app/$ChrissieYT www.paypal.me/divinedarkskin Follow me on IG instagram.com/chrissiesway Visit Website chrissieonline.com/
Steve Harvey is right. I think Steve Harvey enjoys working the rest he does because he knows his talents and capable and it was proven. He wanted to work for Majorie and more. Keke will soon find out.
I work about 40 weddings a year as a wedding singer. The upper class is getting married. White people easily go to a number of weddings a year. Meanwhile I can count the weddings i’ve been to for people in my family on one hand. Hella baby showers though lol. There are cultures where having a baby before marriage is so highly forbidden. Yet black women will argue single motherhood is totally normal. I wish we valued our wombs a little more.
I agree. I work in corporate with high earning professionals and have never come across a baby mama, everyone I've worked with in over 30 years has been married. My child goes to a fee paying selective school and all her friends' parents are married. I've only been to 3 black on black marriages in my entire life (I'm in my fifties), and all my siblings, friends and acquaintances have had children out of wedlock. Black people in majority white countries, and some black people in the Carribean, have normalised dysfunctionality.
I’ve attended 10-15 weddings in the last 12 years…WP network/make friends throughout college and invite each other to these weddings. So you as a parent end up going to yours kids wedding AND sometimes the weddings of their friends. Damn, we have 2 weddings on our schedule for spring’23! WP of means get married. My daughter and I went to a wedding expo. There were vendors who had dresses, shoes, makeup artists and other businesses. Not ONE black wedding vendor. 😑. My daughter and I went for fun because she was getting married. We quickly noticed we were the only POC in the place😑
I work at a hospital and all of the ladies of other races are either married or engaged. The white girls, Asian girls, Hispanic girls, Indian girls, all of them have husbands or fiances. The Black women are the only ones who are single mothers. There was a young white girl who announced she was pregnant, I told the ladies I work with, "I bet she'll be engaged soon because white people don't play that single mom sh*t", the black women were so offended by my comment. Especially when she came to work a few weeks later with that engagement ring.
People love giving their favorite celebs like Keke palmer and Rihanna a pass, but in my opinion, idc how rich you are, it will never be a good look for black woman to be baby mamas. It's scary that this is being normalized.
The difference is that a black child born to a woman who is a multi millionaire or a billionaire V.S the everyday black woman is that the black child(ren) born to a rich black parent won't suffer in the same way that poor black children will, we can say what we will about wether or not it's *morally* correct but this doesn't really apply to rich women of African descent who still got options and a lot more than the average black female might I add 🤷♀️
@@fatherbewithme that's BS, she is right, people have their favorite celebrities they defend and make excuses for and who to bash and drag, they are bias for celebrities they LIKE ..........because then, why did blk people drag Ciara so bad, through the mud, and she is a Multimillionaire, she had and STILL had MORE Money than Keke Palmer, and don't say it's because Fewcha had Kids before, because so does Offset, Kenny Petty , London on the Track, Jeezy, Young Joc and ALOT of other Men and women still get with/ Marry them and give them more Kids. She been MARRIED for yearssss and STILL gets bashed.
Preach, they show favor and give passes to celebrity women they LIKE, Keke Palmer and Rihanna BOTH willingly became Baby Mamas and people are jumping through hoops to defend their choices. Bias.
I don’t give Rihanna or Keke a pass. When everyone was congratulating Rihanna I said she was a great business woman but her personal life was like a hood booger with a GED who works at dollar general to support two oow kids. A wealthy, dusty hood booger.
As a married woman for ten years and two children later, I would never want to do it alone. Even with a provider husband looking after children is hard work. Avoid single parenthood at all costs.
Yes I'm married stay at home with two daughters. One is 2 years old and the other just turned 11 weeks old. They are hard work. I can't imagine raising them by myself.
All you women are very lucky. Modern men tell each other not to get married. I became a single mother when the father who promised to marry me backed out when he met another woman at his job. He lied to me about marriage and a future just to get me pregnant. I came from an abusive family that never taught me anything about life I learned everything the hard way. We need to educate all women that men are capable of pretending and faking love and never trust a man.
I wouldn’t consider it moping and complaining if you prevent your niece or little cousin from making the same mistakes you made. But, in order to do that you have to tell the truth to them.
What mistake?? Men a are incapable of love and are co dependent to women, and ran up under a patriotic philosophy stop telling women they made mistake or they choose the wrong male that comment is old and outdated!
Women forget that children are the greatest gift to give a man. Don't risk your life giving a man a lineage, legacy, IMMORTALITY through your womb for someone who hasn't claimed you legally. You are permanently attaching yourself, taking yourself off the table for other men, sacrificing your body mind and soul through dedication for your husband and children all to be called a baby mama or girlfriend? If a marriage certificate is just a paper, then there's no reason not to get it right? No harm right? There is value to marriage and there is value when you're a married woman even if it's struggle. Never have kids by a dusty but if you plan to (get therapy) at least be smart by not having kids or try to get something out of it. Don't ever give children or your life to a man who has not earned you or kids.
Exactly. Thats exactly what I told this guy. I can not see myself risking my womb and life giving a man who don't want me as his wife, a child. Thats legacy. I definitely don't want the attachment that comes with having a man's baby. Ladies, guard your womb!!!
It's so disappointing how women can be so reckless with their wombs. It really is a sad thing. Totally agree that the most valuable thing you can give men are children. Whether they see it as valuable or not...
I approve this message, and I’m a woman who had my child out of wedlock. I’m married now and well taken care of, but I would never encourage motherhood before marriage. Now that I know better, I’m teaching my child better.
I used to work at a upper class majority white daycare and there was a white family where the daughter was 16 years old and was a teen mom. The teen mom’s daughter went to the daycare. I remember asking in which I later found out is the grandma, “oh is she your daughter? She is so adorable.” The grandma lies and said yes that’s my child. Come to find out the family was embarrassed that the 16 year old had a baby out of wedlock. A lot of white families would rather lie and claim the grand baby as their child instead of telling the truth. Another story, I used to go to a prominent college and a white lady asked me, “are you going to find you a rich man in college?” I said no I am here to get my degree. She told me that’s great and all but college is a great time to find an educated rich man. At first I thought she was being shallow, but she was really putting me on game. I observe white people especially rich ones and I can say their mindset is way different and smart white people have taught me a lot about dating…good points at that.
Literally! I’ve had a lot of rich white men use to always ask me why don’t I just marry a rich guy…at first I wasn’t sure because I was 21 at the time, now that I’m 24 it makes a lot of sense. The life that I want to provide my children does involve a man with money, for example, I want my children in private school and that’s not cheap!!
Steve Harvey was absolutely right. People like saying if it were the other way around it would be the same, without taking the context into account. A man marrying down is not the same as a woman marrying down. A rich man can marry a woman who makes less, she’ll level up or be a “good homemaker” who takes care of him. Married men are happier and live longer. Also a wife makes a husband look better to society. A woman marrying down is bad because men who do poorly in patriarchy despite all the advantages they have due to their gender tend to be femininized, lazy and complacent. They live longer and healthier but don’t improve socio-economically by getting married. The woman will be tired and drained, carrying burden of taking care of the home and the children in addition to the financial responsibility. That makes absolutely zero sense. In the words of Nike: JUST SAY NO.
I just listened to the clip, Keke made some good points, but I really thought she was smarter than that. As for having to agree with Steve, remember the broken clock theory.
Right. Small price to pay, no. I think giving your body and almost your life in childbirth and rearing is worth at least the promise of him loving, cherishing and providing for you?! Even if marriage is not a complete fix or answer, it says in your union, and of your union in the eyes of others, that a commitment was made. As a foundation in relationships, that's a good place to start right? Jeez, talk about giving up on hope, love and values. In many cases people can lose a lot, even their physical and mental health, when they give up on hope and values. This is a lot more spiritual than people think.
A married woman’s stress and single momma stress is different. I’m married. My momma was not. She tells me specifically that it’s a world of a difference. Additionally, I watched how she stayed in survival mode for decades. I have a village and my husband to help me in every way imaginable. My life is not perfect but it’s joyous in total. My mom is just now living a peaceful, joyful life in 2023. They lying because they are prideful.
YOU LIE!! Married women STRUGGLE MORE! All of my friends are dancers and MARRIED MEN live in their face spending mortgage money on dances/sex/and whatever. Your husband may help you, but that is the damn bare minimum. Wives LOVE to WEAPONIZE marriage, because they are married. But their husbands can’t stand them
@Christine walker. Why are you so pressed. She is right, being a single parent is hard and have left many women with emotional and financial stress. That is the reality for many.
I would say this only works if you have a good partner. That's kind of the problem. Even white women are talking about being married single moms. Take your scenario and imagine it being a man that doesn't work, doesn't clean, and doesn't help with the kids. That's how some married women are living. 1. Healthy marriage with good partner. 2. Single mom 3. Married single mom
Exactly! Her logic made no sense. At least the ones with money won’t be asking you for shit. That’s one less thing you’ll have to deal with off the cuff
She took Tyler Perry’s advice instead of Steve’s.. she did not deserve ANY of the abuse but she should’ve chose someone on her level or stay single if men with money is just as bad with a man with no money
Most BW say have given up on marriage simply because they date BM exclusively and they know most BM aren't interested in making anyone their wife until they are old,used up and looking for a nurse w/a purse. Most BW dont think they are even worthy of marriage because they listen to dusties and their mammies telling them "marriage is just a piece of paper" or "you don't need a ring to be in a committed relationship"...those are just phrases to cope with the fact that BW settle for less. Marriage(good and healthy marriage) is important! All the statistics prove that...BW DEMAND MARRIAGE especially if you want children! If he gives you those textbook dusty anti-marriage catchphrases leave him alone.
I cackled on that "looking for a nurse with a purse" I had a step dad JUST like that he couldn't stand Dark skin black women until he was old & his health started failing him then he got with a super dark black female who took care of him until his final days but still his colorism wouldn't allow him to just stick with her he still wanted my mom who wasn't light skinned or dark but my mom was more red but still lighter than the woman who took care of him in his final days
@FatherBe WithMe LOL I got that term from my auntie. Smh sad that the dark skinned woman fell for his game but chances are she was just as desperate as him.
Exactly. Bw can find decent partners if they date outside the race. But I think most bw aren't prepared to do this, so if they want children they will be single mothers because bm are not marrying. I encourage all young bw that I meet to be open to dating non -black men.
I was dating a wealthy black man last year who spoilt me rotten but wanted me to be his perpetual girlfriend. I loved him a lot and was with him two years but I still left without looking back ONCE!! He didn't want to ever get married or have kids and I knew it couldn't work. I didn't deny myself or my standards and now I am with a lovely Polish man that's also very well to do, spoils me, loves me and wants to build a family with me, marriage and kids. Please don't deny yourself what you want because you think it isn't possible. It's definitely possible it just may not be possible with THAT man.
1MILLION % AGREED FROM A YOUNG SINGLE MOM NON HYPERGAMOUS BLACK WOMAN EXPERIENCE. ALMOST 40. The Struggle Is Real AND ONLY CONTINUES. DO BETTER BLACK WOMEN AND LEARN FROM THOSE IN FRONT OF YOU 🤚🏽
Same here I attended less weddings than baby showers this year. Most BW I know who are married split bills and are financially challenged. I don’t know why most BW sell themselves short for marriages only with BM, which doesn’t result in wealth building.
I think it's ridiculous that we keep qualifying the marriage conversation by saying " healthy marriage." Is it NOT obvious that HEALTHY marriages are the only REAL MARRIAGES? Chrissie is CORRECT. Marriage is better for children. I think it's a NON starter and a way to derail the conversation by repeating " my grandparents were miserable..." We need to collectively make the switch that the only real marriage is hypergamous and HEALTHY. Let's get on the same page. We will fight for our right to be single mothers and hypogomous it's disgusting. " I want a baby..." right, you don't want to raise a healthy adult. If and whenever possible, let's raise children in healthy, two parent homes, and lets OPT out of children if we cannot do that.
Exactly! I listened in on a convo on another channel where a woman was advocating for motherhood with or without a father….just to “experience” motherhood and while I empathize with that to a degree I also thought-how selfish. Especially for the child. I was a product of a single parent home. I have a LOVELY mother….but we definitely struggled through life and I know the quality of my mother’s life suffered too. She deserved better. We both did. It’s okay to not have children if you can’t muscle the responsibility. A HEALTHY two parent household should always be in tandem to having children. If you’re unable to give that to your child then you probably shouldn’t be having children.
The qualifying "healthy marriage" talk is annoying, but important because Bw have been taught that having a man is better than nothing, married or not. The Blk community is a representation of the dysfunction that marriage does not solve. Marriage is only of value based on the man the woman marries. Bw are in struggle marriages with not much benefits. These conversations can help women that have never made the mistake of marrying a man only for love.
I’m a married woman with a 3 month old. I would not want to switch places with a single mom. Although my husband and I have issues and it gets really hard at times. It’s nice to have the protection and resources of my husband. Even if we don’t work out my daughter will know that I at least tried to give her a stable life with 2 parents.
This is coming from a man. Work on your issues, keep those issues in house, only spill the beans with a certified 3rd party “therapist/counselor ”, give each other a level of healthy time and space mentally but ALWAYS come together spiritually and pray together no matter how angry or bad things are between you two. Make sure the work that needs to be done isn’t one sided. If you both aren’t willing to work it out then there may be a real issue. If you’re both afraid to put in work due to the fear of your spouse not being a willing participate, let the counselor determine this for you instead of letting your thoughts and feelings take over. DON’T LISTEN TO NEGATIVE SOCIAL MEDIA! By this I mean don’t listen to videos that bash marriage or give you a false confidence of being able to do better. I tell men all the time if you want marriage stop listening to videos that bash women telling you their all bad. Same advice I’m going to give to you, don’t listen to videos that tell you all men are bad. We are adults in the age of knowledge. We know who bad people are as soon as we say hello. You can literally look at a persons Facebook and tell what it is before a first date. You know your spouse better than anybody so don’t listen to anybody about your marriage except for THE MOST HIGH and pray for a good counselor because the objective of the counselor is to fix the marriage, not motivate divorce. Last thing, acknowledge when you are wrong and at fault. When I was in counseling my wife couldn’t believe that she had issues as well. As my counselor said “marriage is a union where 2 become 1 so the problem is never 1 sided. If you catch the flu, the whole body suffers not just one side”.
@@LisaSoulLevelHealing I’m sorry to hear you guys divorced. In this day and age and in this world is it possible to get your husband back? He may be willing especially if you are and if the issues weren’t that deep and fixable. All of my single relatives and friends say the same things, “marriage is so hard to find but a good sex partner isn’t”. 😂
What we really need to talk about that's not getting talked about enough is the deteriorating mental health in single black mothers. The incline of mothers killing their children because of undiagnosed postpartum and other MH issues are increasing and it's so sad.
First off I love your profile pic. Sailor Moon for life. Second: I was so distraught when I found out she was pregnant. And I'm NEVER distraught when a celebrity does whatever. In my Tyra Banks voice: I was rooting for her. 😫
I think the benefits of marriage decrease for women as their incomes increase it the highest levels. Unless she’s marrying someone earning even more than her. Keke may not be the highest earning celebrity, but she earns more than 99% of Americans.
She's had plenty of options. It makes no sense. We trash bm and how backwards their behavior is but bw, we have our issues to that are a blind spot to us.
Keke said “billionaires have the same baggage as the rest of them” exactly so why not get with the billionaire and know that you don’t have to take care of anybody for the rest of your life, even if it doesn’t work out!
Marriage should be promoted amongst BW, but not with the collective of BM. BW are the most educated, and have significantly more money than BM. So, they’re basically becoming more poverty stricken when they marry BM
Yes I have a major prob with the current online messaging. I know majority of the conversations are about Afri American BP and BW but globally there are more BW outside of the USA than in. So, as a Brit, who is around all sorts of groups of people I find it reductive to talk about marriage being completely unsuitable, full stop, especially when the dating and socialising pool in other parts of the world don't just include "those types" of AA men.
@@ChrissiesWay You know the vast majority of black women don't want interracial marriage, and being hypergamous with black men as a black woman is virtually impossible.
Hi Chrissie; It’s crazy how I found your page AFTER the fact of how I decided to move in life. I’m married; coming up on 9 years; with two children (a boy and a girl). He’s very traditional and strongly believed in not having kids until married. I met my husband (who’s white) in the military. I joined the service with the mindset of leveling up and focusing on myself. It wasn’t until I joined the military that I realized that I have options in men that I can date…and let me tell you more than enough white men are interested in black women. After a month of dating he told me he was going to marry me; which i thought at the time that he was delusional being to my history of dating nothing but black men….it was foreign to me how he moved but I was (and still is) very much attracted to it. My husband is now a DOCTOR in medicine; and we both are out of the military. He works; pay all of the bills; while the children go to daycare and private school; while I go to school. I have one year until I to become a doctor…..girl and he’s pushing me to do residency meaning that he’s okay with continuing to pay 100% for everything. I never had a 50/50 convert with this man. He could care less what I do with the money I earn because he has it covered. I’m saying this to say BW…..please broaden your options. I to was under the mindset of dating nothing but black men…..so happy I became “woke” 🙃🤣
@@sm_sf thank you ❤️; we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary for our new build home. I never would have thought I could have this lifestyle. I was always told how “pretty for a dark skin girl” I was or how I was to skinny; or such a lame/ nerd as I was growing up. In my high school year book I even have so many name callings such as “have a great life to the blackest, white girl I know. Or call me an Oreo. It hurt back then; but I’m so happy I stayed true to myself and didn’t try to fit into societies mold of what they think a dark skin black girl should be, act, or look like.
@@logicturn4340 Wonderful! My father and brother wanted us to date out because they already knew the score. All 3 of us met our nonBlack husbands and became engaged within the first year of dating. Congrats!
@@ebonylady congratulations to you as well!❤️; I’m just happy I found a space with other black women who are in the same mindset as me. I really thought maybe I was just crazy lol. Chrissie is doing a beautiful job with her content and creating a space for such women. I love how she gives the truth and correction towards her own demographic. We need it as a whole. ❤️
Congratulations 😊. I am currently talking to a very nice man who happens to be white. He told men usually know, within the first six months, if they want to marry the woman they are talking with. He told me he wants to be married within one year of dating. I am still observing and discerning.
Why was a whole chart needed to show why its better to be married when having kids 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 lord, our people are slow if you have to really use a chart to say no against single motherhood
Exactly. I understand women saying they don't want to get married to these dusties. But our women look hypocritical when we have children by the same men.
@@blake1267 right. If kids aren't in the picture, then there isn't a huge benefit to women. But kids? Absolutely. Don't need a chart to predict the outcomes for both the child and the mother. The kids are literally turning on their mothers and grandmother's every single day.
Black women need to wake up 🗣️there’s a BIG difference being a black single mother VS a white single mother it comes with benefits…Alimony, spousal & child support ❗️
EXACTLY . And they actually have real community and support when they do end up single mothers . Bw don’t have the benefits ww have when it comes to single motherhood . Even if the WW is “undersireale” to the white men in her community , even if she is a single mother with biracial children she will still be treated better by society just because she’s white .
Not if you know what you’re doing & your finances are in order. I’m speaking from experience. My kids are grown & when my x & I split up I left him with the house, everything in it & didn’t need anything financially for myself & my children. He still clowned like a crazy person. We are both 56 today & he’s still crazy. I moved on after we split & have been fine every since.
This is what I’m saying, even when you do the right thing as a bw, the benefits aren’t always there. Most black woolen don’t leave marriages with alimony, plus most black woolen eventually divorce and will end up a single mother.
This is why you don’t marry down in the first place…so if something happens you will get proper alimony/child support. If you marry dust that’s what you will get.
It’s mind boggling to me! Keke has men of all races fawning over her! I meant sis has options! Her and Taraji P Henson can have any affluent men but they’re so race loyal that self preservation isn’t a priority to them! Unbelievable!
Being a single mother is never a good thing. Usually many single mothers are out there struggling. At least the Kardashians can afford to hire Nannie’s and get a break. The average woman can’t afford that. So I don’t know why a lot of them are comparing their lives to rich single mothers.
I am a married man with adult children. Men often have difficulty bonding with their children especially when they are babies. Always being there with them and taking care of them is what helps us to bond with them . When a young child’s personality starts to come out we are hooked. Guys that just have baby mama’s often don’t bond with their children. The idea of being through with child support after the age of 18 is a joke . It takes support sometimes well into their 20s to launch 🚀 children. The married guys that I know with adult children are advocating for them into their late 20s . Children born into single parent homes are shortchanged. One of my children needed dental work that cost almost $1,000. There was no argument. We had to find a way to pay the bill and get her teeth repaired. The conversations that I am able to have with them at anytime. They usually want to talk when I am trying to go to sleep. Having children out of wedlock should not be accepted as being normal .
Thank you Chrissie for pointing out the obvious. Please keep believing we married women are stressed 😂😂. Our stressors are just different (i.e. preschool we want our kids to go to, kids in too many after school activities, which in-law’s house to go to during the holidays…just to name a few). I would NEVER trade places with a single mom.
Exactly! Add, monitoring their tech usage, junk food consumption, getting A's vs B's, squeezing in time to workout, finding a sitter for date night, etc.
Question does your partner help? one of the man issues is married woman seem to be doing it all like a single mom. The stress in your comment is not different from single moms- so how has being married beneficial to you would be a good point to highlight!
@@alwaysaccurate8725 Mine does when he's home (not working). While I may have to cajole him re: housework, I never have to beg him to help with our children. When his work interferes with navigating our children's activities or other home-based events, that's when I have to seek help from "the village". To me, what makes it different from single-motherhood is that he's there more often than not, which gives me the mental capacity to deal with the inevitable inconveniences of life, and I'm not stressed about finances. I feel like my reprieve is built in to our marital and familial relationship. Never perfect, but it works for us 🤷🏽♀️
The fact that I can say "please deal with this", when one or all of our kids are fussing and I'm too tired and my husband takes over, while I go upstairs for a needed nap, is enough for me to acknowledge how privileged I am in my position as a married woman. No amount of disagreements or discontentment will change the fact that I need this man, not just cause I love him but I need him to raise these babies, we've been blessed to have, alongside me because I wasn't designed to do it alone.
Yeees!!!! It’s now that I’m older I realized just how much my dad did for me! A man who is eager to be responsible for his children is the type of father I want for my own kids!
I don't think you understand how unbelievably rare that is. You have a partner. I think it's disingenuous to pretend that the vast majority of women have partners. I mean the white women are bailing on marriage because they're married single moms.
@@eleanor1105bad marriages with kids. Obviously, simply being married to someone and having no children doesn't create any issues. The reality is that most women are in the position of being a married single mother for a single mother. I don't know a woman on this Earth that wouldn't choose to have a great partner to be married to and raise a family with. That's not what's happening. Women are marrying men who suck them dry and become another child for them to care for.
Also I find it disheartening to hear her defensive /dismissive responses to what Steve was saying because he didn’t even tell her she needs a millionaire. He said ‘someone with a PLAN’. The absolute minimum for any woman really, but ESPECIALLY a rich one.. and she couldn’t even argue that ‘he HAS a plan’ or ‘he’s working on something’? Especially with a whole baby coming (apparently pretty soon)? That really concerns me
Gosh he was actually setting her up with billionaires and she was dismissing them. I would give up a kidney to have someone setting me up with billionaires
Keke does represent - 77% of black kids born out of wedlock. She is literally the statistic. And I honestly think she is dingy and going to find out this is not a good look.
@@youareenough4978 that means nothing. It's a generational curse of single mothers having single mothers. Women who don't have fathers tend to seek the validation of males without having strong boundaries or know how they are supposed to be treated.
@SunVenusMoon what exactly do you mean keke represents 77% of black children born out of wedlock? Last I check keke palmer parents are married and are still married to this day! She literally comes from a two parent household and her father was always in her life! So that whole generational curse of single motherhood you were talking about technically doesn't apply to her, because her mom was never a single mom! This is why I asked for clarity about your original comment because the generational curse thing doesn't apply to her. I get you may be disappointed by her actions but that's doesn't give you the right to make stuff up about her family to fit your narrative of generational curses and single motherhood!
Keke has options but she is black male identified so she settled . Also, I think she was obsessed with light skin and looked passed him being unemployed.
My parents were not religious but having children outside of wedlock was an absolute no. My father told me I better be married before I have any man’s children. I can remember my father would not let guys in the house if he knew they were not good enough for us. My father was a driving force for me. He was a good example of what type of man I wanted to marry. Unfortunately the dating pool is a piss pool.
As a black woman who raised a daughter, my biggest regret was the affect it had on my daughter. You have a better chance of raising a mentally healthy child when you start with a marriage.
Ladies please heed this young ladies advice, there is nothing cute about being a Single Mother. No matter what the father says, what his mother says, your mother, grandma, aunt's and cousins, no matter who says they're going to help you financially, with babysitting, IT DOESN'T MATTER. At the end of the day the responsibility will always fall on you. This is your baby. When everyone else dips that baby will be on your hip.
Great Video. This argument was always dumb to me. A baby, in my opinion, is a WAY bigger commitment than a Marriage. I see it like this... if we get married, don't have kids yet, and it doesn't work out, we both can leave freely. If we marry, have children, and do not work out, I'm leaving.....but with resources, because we have kids. Of course things aren't always black and white, but I'll never be convinced that marriage IS NOT beneficial. But it's damn sure NOT beneficial when you deal with a dusty/man who isn't on your level, or refuse to expand your options because your "waiting".
You're absolutely right, but men don't see it that way. Trust me. I've talked to a number of men who see marriage as a bigger commitment than a baby. I don't understand that logic lol.
Some sisters are championing Single Mother hood because they still overwhelmingly want black Love & Black babies BUT they know deep down inside A LOT of young brothers don't necessarily want that, & the number of very young brothers who want black Love with unapologetically black women with the Fairy tale marriage gets worse the younger he is especially if hes young and considered generally attractive (PLEASE DONT LET HIM BE ATTRACTIVE ISSA WRAP) &/or he has lots of money its a STRONG chance he'll want his freedom & want to stay a bachelor until he becomes an old man (remember the book "Is marriage for white people"? By Richard Ralph ) So some sisters would rather adjust their relationship standards & essentially lower them & take still take their chances with BM who most don't believe in marriage rather than take care of themselves, stay in school & expand their dating options to include all types of men which may better their chances of being married.
I think that's the problem with black women. They only deem black men viable options for pro creation and marriage instead of expanding dating options. They lower their chances of finding partners by doing that.
Chrissie, you told no lies about broke men. They are very problematic, insecure, and abusive. Keke is making a big mistake. We've seen this too many times now. I had Keke's illness until I met a Dusty broke ass narcissist. Completely changed my worldview. Never again. I would rather be alone.
Yep. Can we also be honest how, like Steve Harvey said, many BW want to give these men THEIR lifestyle when it's unearned. Isn't giving your body and in many cases, almost your life in childbirth and rearing worth even the SYMBOL of a promise. Not much to ask, no? Marriage is no absolute fix but it sure is a good foundation for at least a promise to love, cherish and provide for another soul and other souls created in the union. Jeez. Sad.
KEKE IS MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE...I heard that her baby daddy like broke up with her 700 times already. Like why would she do this!?! Its so sad. She could have easily married some White man who would have waited on her hand and foot...so disappointed in Keke
@@west4Bmovement ESPECIALLY given the options Keke has! Men of all races fawn over her beauty and personality! She could’ve easily gotten a quality, well to do man to settle down! They were all over her and sis had her pick🤦🏽♀️
@@niratomas579 ...I believe it was more HIS idea, that hers. No matter how wide her mouth gets when she is talking about how fierce she is...she is still insecure underneath it all. Most of you Black women are
@@west4Bmovement This is why channels like Chrissie’s are so important to help black women wake up,course-correct, and not feel any guilt for choosing the best men for ourselves. Your last sentence there is a great reminder. Thank you.
Chrissie is right. As a former SAHM I wouldn’t have traded places with a single mom or even a married single mom (i.e. she does everything.) My ex husband was a lot of things but he was and still is an excellent provider for me.
@@jennny22233 Girl those days are long behind me. My babies are grown just waiting for the grand babies eventually. One is married the other is engaged. 😬
Thank you for pointing out this very critical piece of the puzzle. Being a married single mom is a real thing. If we're going to have the conversation we know that for the vast majority of women, they're married single moms.
“He doesn’t have to have a million yet, but he has to have a plan…” THANK YOU UNCLE STEVE! Stop dating people with stagnant growth who are also habitually broke. 🤷🏽♀️
Several members of my family who grew up in two parent homes are starting to have children out of wedlock. It makes me sad because you should want your kids to have what you had or better.
That's because they came from two parent homes that were bad marriages. They saw their parents be f****** miserable and stay for the sake of the kids. That's why we need to be intentional about the way we talk about this conversation. If it's not a healthy marriage, fix it or walk away.
unfortunately, these days bw dont know the definition of LEGACY. u cant have a legacy by having babies with multiple men which is 60% of all black women with kids
What legacy?? 😂😂😂 please don’t conflate legacy with offspring. Oprah has a legacy, even Sean Combs has a legacy. Neither are married. The literal definition of legacy is leaving something of value behind. It has nothing to do with a child. You could donate a library to a college and that’s a legacy bc your name will live on and have status.
You are so wrong.... Half of yall be in marriages and be broke, miserable and don’t leave your children an ounce of property...much less some “legacy”...please stop
This video was very much needed. I will never be ok with justifying and normalizing single motherhood for bw--we are over represented in that demographic and it's so painful to me. Also when a content creator who I consider very intelligent said they dont give a F about the 80% out of wedlock births....that is extremely concerning to me. Black children deserve to be brought into this world legitimately. I've been divorced twice and will do it again and again until I get it right. Stop weaponizing the high divorce rates, the benefits outweigh the risks. Before marriage, protect your current/future money and assets to prevent becoming rooted to poverty, I'm so tired of that narrative.
I un-subcribed from a content creator recently who was spewing nonsense about bw wanting marriage and that marriage is not the answer. My grandparents and parents were married. Some of those marriages had issues or didn't last. I am a single mother, my child is fine human being, but I think I failed in some part by not providing the security of a 2 parent home. I believe in marriage and I encourage my child to marry one day.
I'm divorced. My daughter is STILL 100% treated extremely well. Difference between out of wedlock vs married coparenting. Any other kids would be within wedlock. If I didn't want more kids, I wouldn't be so aggressive.
Being a single mother is nothing to brag about. Its not easy. I am a single mom. I dont have financial problems but sometimes its nice to have a partner/father around.
I'm a single mother as well and I'm not saying it's easy but I know many women who are married and still have a hard time. Marriage isn't an end all stress and loneliness when it comes to taking care of a home and children.
@@oleviapaige4133 Agreed. Divorce rates are through the ceiling and many women still feel like a single mom while married. It does not solve the problem. I do not regret having my child. I'm fortunate to be financially stable though with a great co-parent.
I recently said this to a friend, I've been invited to numerous baby showers in the last decade... I can count on one hand how many weddings...Versus my white counterparts that go-to multiple weddings a year, they even call it "wedding season" during the spring time.
i was a single mother when i was young, It wasn't cute and it was super stressful. i am happily married now. Please don't set out to be a single mom young ladies, it hinders you from a lot
Great live! In addition, I find it funny how we can talk about the lack of generational wealth in the blk community but then downplay the role of marriage and its effects. Look up tax deductions and your state/local laws: there's huge tax breaks in being married as well as other protections such as the unfortunate case of unexpected death (unlike what happened to DMX and Nipsey's GFs). What you said toward the end is powerful; the point is to make sure that your children are better off than you were. And more often than not single motherhood does NOT ensure a child's best future. Instead you build generational wealth by doing what you can to best set up your lineage for the future. And that includes picking the right partner for the job. I said in the chat that ironically enough, Biden just signed into law a marriage equality bill that would grant further protections for LGBT and interracial marriages. If everyone else can understand the value of marriage, why can't blk folks?
Exactly! @chrissie can you do a poll on this in your community tab? I’m curious how many of your subscribers actually think this pro-babymama talk is logical lol. I’m hoping it’s less than it appears
Exactly the basis of poverty in the black race is single mothers with children. Plus most single white mothers who have children were initially married most single black mothers were never married . Also, single black motherhood with illegitimate children have children who suffer in every realm of life education too they have lower reading and math scores k-12
Don’t talk about picking the best partner like u have a crystal ball though. No one knows how their future is going to turn out with someone. You don’t go into the relationship thinking things will go bad but when they do then what. Definitely not saying keep being baby mammas but definitely be ready for the fall out. Sometimes therapy & a lot of other things will not hold the marriage together. Just something to think about.
Yes 💯 agree. Well said. It's like BP want the whole planet to undo how it runs and operates. The majority of the world VALUE marriage more so than even Western countries and WP. How narcissistic to believe the world should change THEIR mindsets and value you for subscribing to something THEY DONT VALUE THEMSELVES. It's a patriarchy. Period. Marriage is as old as time. BP can't dismantle oppressive systems but are trying to attempt to dismantle the significance of marriage too....weiiirrrrrrrdddd.
Is the desire to have children more important that the quality of the childrens' lives? It's hard for me to believe that the desire to have children is worth the struggle? These women either have low self esteem and that's why they give their bodies to undeserving men or they become delusioned by the IDEA of having a cute baby to take care of love them, not considering the long term committment and responsibility. These women are pursuing relationships and thinking about having babies when they need to be pursuing some therapy and self-help. It's almost blatant self-sabataoge. Black men and women have become too accustomed with struggling and dysfunction, and people gravitate towards what they are familiar with. This mindset is generational and it's going to take more than simply education to break these cycles of dysfunction. We need an entire cultural shift for this to stop. How? I'm not sure, but I'm hopeful when I see black women speaking up on this widespread foolishness.
There's a whole social rhetoric that you're not a real woman, are selfish, have never experienced real unconditional love, etc. if you've never had a child (and a child that YOU carried... not adopted, had a surrogate deliever, etc). It's definitely indoctrination and very hard to ignore. But it's not as simple as "low self esteem". Girls are taught to pursue motherhood from before they even start speaking. It's truly a beast to break free from that idea and live a life that doesn't follow it, and those who follow it shouldn't have their decision reduced to them being called insecure.
This video is filled with gems. What I've also noticed in the black community is that a lot of underachieving black males are quicker to get married and target successful black women who are eager to be wed. Black men are way more hypergamous than us women so you'll find the majority of married black men do not earn nearly as much as their black wives. This is also a problem.
Exactly. These women in the comments are saying that at least if they get married, they get benefits from the divorce. I am still trying to figure out what benefits are you going to get if you are the breadwinner. I can tell a lot of bw are still lost.
@@season.of.renewel precisely. If most black women were interracially married then the argument about benefiting from divorce makes sense, otherwise it's a fairytale and myth.
I'm reminded of that piece in the NYT. There is a colorist aspect to it. Light skinned/biracial women are disproportionately more likely to be married in the BC. I suspect that it's the DSBW who are marrying hypogamously.
As a single mother, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I grew up in a religious prolife setting so I didn’t believe in abortion. But after what I have gone through, there’s no way I’m letting my daughter make the same mistake as me. I’m also telling all my friends to choose better!!!
Be careful, a lot of them look down on you because you’re a single mom. Reading some of these comments will make you believe it’s always a woman’s fault for being in that situation.
@@kouayep0 I know, when my ex left, I came on the internet and saw only mean things about single mothers coming both from men and women. It was really painful because I know I’m a good person. I guess I am more mature now and I no longer care what people could think.
Sis it’s okay! I’m a single mom of one and i intend to keep it that way i believe for the rest of my life. I have been completely turned off from having anymore children due to leaving my ex because of his infidelity…the experience was ruined for me. I encourage all childless women to remain childless and give that baby back to god if need be…don’t be a damn single mother it’s not fun
Many black women, especially in family. Do not want the younger black women in their families to do better. They want the younger ones to suffer or go through what they went through. To make themselves feel better for dating down or not chossing better in life choices or men. So they do, sabotage the younger ones, like the younger sister or the daughter. Because they see a rival or competition in her. Its digusting honestly.
This is why I advocate for distinction. We may be the most educated but we’re clearly not on the same page. Some BW are in advanced placement while some of us won’t make it pass basic learning. Some of us are tired of being lumped in with the bw who don’t understand the assignment.
I concur!! Thank you. I keep reiterating this logic and people think I’m crazy. I am convinced there are tiers to being a black woman- I’m tired of society making general assumptions.
I don’t know why ya’ll keep saying BW are the most educated. On a per capita basis, Asian American women are BY FAR the most educated, then WW, then BW in third place. Google is free. 😂 Hasn’t it ever occurred to you that if BW really were the most educated, politicians and newscasters would talk about it non-stop as it would be a great American success story? But nobody who’s actually researched it says it. Because it’s not true. If it were true, the average BW would have a net worth of higher than $5.00. 😂😂😂
I am a divorced “single mother” (as my ex was a psycho narcissist), but I was so obsessed with being married because of trauma from my Haitian upbringing and marriage being some type of social “goal”. Anyway, I make 6 figures, and my son and I live in an upper class neighborhood and shit is hard for me. Hard as hell. I’m tired all the time. I’m not sure if I want more kids, but I sure as hell will marry up next time if I do. 🥴 I’m not sure how women do it without money bc I have money and it’s hard AF. When I was in education, I would encourage my students to wait until marriage to have kids bc I was very candid about how hard life was for me raising a son educated, with a good salary…ALONE.
Her conversation with Steve sounds like a genuinely frustrated father concerned with his daughter's dusty love choices. I bet she got a call from a fuming Steve Harvey (and probably a concerned Marjorie) as soon as he found out she was pregnant and by whom...
single motherhood is so degenerate IM SORRY i’m actually embarrassed to be a black woman sometimes, i have two parents which i’m so grateful for. all my black female friends have two parents as well. it’s sad that most of us don’t have fathers. i’m staying celibate so i don’t end up a statistic and i encourage all black woman to do so 🤷🏽♀️
Sis! Say it louder for the people at the back. I am very pro life and don't believe in killing babies in the womb. That is why I am celibate. Not risking my womb for a man who hasn't put a ring on it.
Single mother hood is the most difficult for black women. After clearly seeing this, why would I be dumb enough to put myself in that predicament? That's crazy to me.
That’s why I will continue to stick to marriage before children and properly vet men very carefully, no matter the race. I always hear women complaining about their babies daddies. It’s really sad.
Great live as usual Chrissie. Keke will be all right because she has more $ than the average person, but there is no way a woman as beautiful as her didn't have better options. Even if she wasn't interested in marriage & just wanted a baby, why not choose a man that's on her level or higher? Steve Harvey was talking to her like a daughter, and she just dismissed his advice. When she ends up paying a high amount of child support to her baby daddy, she'll regret not listening to him.
@@sheeshneesh That’s why this situation is so hard for me to swallow. I’m happy for her, but at the same time I really wanted to see Rihanna and her married to excellent men.
Mannnn this is my exact sentiments but when you say something people yell JUST BE HAPPY FOR HER and I’m just like so we just gone be happy that she settled? As big as her name is she could’ve had the best pick of the litter.
@@Blaquebarbgamer honestly same. It’s insulting that these men put a baby in them without a ring. They would make wonderful wives and partners. They could get a prenup to protect their assets. But if they break up, their BD is gonna be demanding child support
Unpopular opinion, I really don't give a damn, but bw, we discuss (ad nauseam) how detrimental bm's behavior is, but we have blindspots that we ignore and refuse to acknowledge also. One of those blindspots is our selfishness in bringing innocent children into this world without the devotion of a mother AND father who are intentional with their union (marriage) and conception (children). Forget what you want and think about what the child needs. Damn. Give the children a fighting chance. Things may not always workout but at least TRY. I wish Keke a healthy and happy pregnancy but no, I'm not gung-ho about this pregnancy. It's embarrassing for her, women and black women. Money does not fix and solve everything. It helps a whole lot - trust, but having a father fully committed to his wife and child is a game changer.
Men are spoiled with casual sex so they aren't interested in settling down. Your message is clear, but the main problem is that men are more focused on sex than a true purpose for their lives. There's not enough good men to go around unfortunately.
I want to add to that, we women decide who we allow in our bodies, we do such a bad job qualifying these guys, yet blame them for not being who they are. DID YOU ASK THE QUESTIONS BEFORE LAYING UP WITH HIM OR WASTING YOUR GOOD YEARS ON HIM? Did you observe him like a hawk to see his true intentions before you conceived a whole human with him. Of course all this knowledge is passed down through older generation and the community and they themeselves have failed us. I observe other cultures and I see their parents/elders/community involvement in their union/relationship. Also, Im sorry to say, having such pressure increases the likelihood of women being paired up with better men. The men are held accountable because the community is the watchdog. We dont have that in our community so of course we are making these stupid mistakes that can be easily avoided when the older generation is guiding, and guess what? without this guidance and protection, we are easy targets for any other race to treat us anyhow, when they wouldn't mistreat their own the way they treat us.
Key word: INTENTIONAL. This 'falling' pregnant thing is not, nor never has been cute. No one just falls in marriage, people are very intentional about marraige and those who are anti-marriage are so because they respect it, and don't wan tthe accountabiity of the law, society, family and spouse that marriage weighs upon them.
KeKe just wanted a light skinned baby with curly hair. And he’s not in love with her either. He’s doing what his brother did: getting a baby by a dark skinned actress and not marrying her.
I respect your consistency Chrissie. You had the similar take on Rihanna too, even though folks wanted to claim she was a billionaire and didn’t need marriage to have kids. Keke’s case is no different.
Also in most states if you’re married over 10 years, you can collect social security on whoever is the highest. Even after a divorce, there’s so many legal monetary benefits when married
how can we be the most educated yet so dumb about these things?? im sorry, that's straight up child abuse putting your kid in a situation where children are living in these split environments. Its not good for their mental.
You know the divorce rate in the US is 45% right. Children of divorce don't fair much better. Just don't have kids and don't get married. Work on you and making the world around ypu better. Marriage across the board has become less popular. Ultra rich people need someone to leave assets to. Regular people don't want Marriage and honestly if you're a woman and a high income learner it doesn't benefit you. Look at what's happening in Korea and Japan.
In a world where I don't feel comfortable having these conversations with family about things like this, because of judgement, so I'm glad your channel exists.
@@ajh.4131Honestly same. Though at least we’ll do better for our baby girls and break these cycles. I’m just counting to the day I have a convo with my Dad about why my boyfriend/husband might not be black 👀.
I’m not sure why people have been pushing this no marriage agenda. I think it’s a defense mechanism for black women bc they fear they won’t find a suitable mate. I work in finance and my husband is a lawyer ( both black). And even for me (no kids yet) life became easier once I got married and I was successful on my own. Social norms are norms for a reason.
Chrissie is correct... another thing is when you are married, the husband's family will help you. Even if the hubby is lazy, his family will make up the difference. But they will not for the baby momma. So, the married women will complain, but they not going nowhere, because it's more beneficial in the long run for tax breaks, ssi, retirement, medical, life insurance etc. Married women don't want to tell the truth because it's not popular.
The BC is so backwards. If you’re in your late 20s early 30s people think something is wrong with you if you don’t have a child. Not if you’re not married-but if you don’t have kids. Smh.
Everyone is involved when when they are influencing and giving bad advice to young, childfree women. They also say whatever they want about childfree, unmarried women so we can have our opinions too☺️
Most the time when child free and/or single women put their two cents in we are told to STFU. So I understand why she said that. We normally painted as the bitter jealous ones.
I wasn’t surprised by Rih deciding to be a BM but omg when I saw Keke I felt like my little sister had just made the announcement & I was let down. I made a mistake once & a friend told me to go forward with it even though I’d be 100% a single mom. It made me look at her funny because she was in the same situation with her bf who wasn’t perfect but would definitely take care of their child. Her encouraging me to be a single BM when she wouldn’t have been made me wonder how good her advice to me was. Glad I didn’t listen!
@@no-one00 the rich white/ asian/Arab would have married her. I’m pretty sure the Arab billionaire boyfriend she had was a relationship that ended because no way in hell would he have a child out of wedlock but his family probably didn’t want him to marry her either, so it had to end and she went and found a man who had no problems making her a BM.
Steve spoke his mind and he didn’t sugar coat anything. No wonder Lori is so smart today. She is going to make sure she doesn’t let a dusty trap her. Let’s also thank her mother Majorie.
Hey chrissie! So Im in college at an hbcu and i have a few friends who have had pregnancy scares this year both with dusties who have children from previous relationships that didn’t work out. And the fact that some were happy about having babies with these men and they provide the bare minimum for their existing children.And it really made think how lost some of us are. I know it sounds shallow but im honestly glad they didn’t continue with the pregnancy i could not imagine their life with as a baby momma and still in COLLEGE!!!🤦🏽♀️
Unbelievable! Happy with the bare minimum🤢 So BW know they can really do better? I’m happy that you’re observing how crazy their situation is! Stay focused and date up and NEVER give your womb to a dusty! You’re already doing well!
I’m attending a PWI college and I already see and hear some of the freshman’s being pregnant. I can’t imagine that being me during my freshman year because once you hit junior year everything gets hard.
I don’t understand why many black people act as if birth control doesn’t exist. It’s always “I don’t believe in abortion” but preventing a pregnancy hardly ever registers. Then there’s the “I know someone who got pregnant on birth control,” “birth control is harmful to your body” & “Margaret Sanger.” It’s insanity plain & simple.
FINALLY a RUclipsr speaking on this topic who is actually making sense and who actually has black women’s best interests at heart. I’d like to offer another take that I haven’t seen yet, our community has a shortage men who possess marriageable qualities and I think a lot of that can be corrected with presenting more examples of HAPPY, HEALTHY, 2 parent households in their own lives. If these young men are growing up watching their mothers muscling the entire fete of parenthood, constantly making emotional and financial sacrifices alone then what do you think they will grow up to expect from the women they eventually date and have children with? As women we have to prioritize choosing better partners and lead by example so that we can create better paths for both our girls and boys. This isn’t a full proof plan but….it may involve opening your options and dating out…but let’s face it, we as women simply cannot raise GOOD MEN alone and boys specifically, have a better chance of growing up to be good, providers and protectors if they grow up seeing one at home. Which ultimately is a WIN for future black girls and the black family (if that’s even a thing anymore lol)
What I think is interesting is the depiction of single fatherhood in media versus single motherhood . You mentioned that single mothers don’t make it “look fun” …in media portrayals of parenthood , single parenthood only “looks fun” when it’s a man . However , in most of those depictions the mother is absent because she’s deceased . For most of these singles mothers they baby fathers be alive and well ….just my perspective from a media lens
Thank you for covering this important issue, Chrissie. The unchecked psychology behind this phenomenon has to be dissected and discussed. The complex trauma of these doomed decisions is negatively impacting all of us!
This is a really good live and I’ve always been really observant of not only my family but friends when it comes to relationships, marriage and children. At 29, no kids not married, I realize how blessed I am!
BEING A SINGLE MOTHER BROKE ME ON A DEEP LEVEL. IT ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. I'M TURNING 40, HAVEN'T HAD SEGGS IN 2 YEARS BC THERE'S NO TIME FOR ME. IT ABSOLUTELY SUCKS.
At this point I think Black women WANT to struggle. Because we seem to know nothing else besides being mules and care givers. Because if we did want better, we wouldn’t put ourselves through the misery. Black women care more about birthing black babies than making sure the father of those babies are going to be present AND in the home. Black women care more about the safety of black men then caring about their own violence statistics. Black women care more about black men then they care about themselves.
Exactly. At the end of the day an individual has to make a choice; suffer or thrive. I don't feel sorry for people who keep making the same mistakes, just get away from the low vibrational way of being.
1:01:05 So true!! There's NO reason for rich black women to date men with NO JOB and in some cases multiple baby mamas. That's just a BASIC rule of having self worth. Come on ladies. You don't have to be rich to have such a basic requirement.
I heard the term “trauma baby” for the first time some months ago. Referring to having babies due to the trauma we have gone through in our past. Like having daddy issues or being s3xually abused as a young girl and then having that trauma lead how we pursue relationships and ultimately having a baby 🤰🏾 out of that behavior. Almost made me cry to think about 😢
On the show, multiple times- khloe has said that all she ever wanted was a full family unit and that she didn’t want to be a single mom. There was another scene where Kendall was saying she had baby fever and khloe was telling her to “have standards” and wait for “commitment” first (I’m assuming she meant marriage) If these are the assertions she’s making on the show, I can’t even imagine the disappointment she has privately. Kylie is Khloe 2.0 but she hides behind her company/ wealth.
I had to pause the video for that Keke and Steve Harvey conversation cus my disappointment grew even more. She literally had all the tools in front of her☹️
When these female black celebrities see other women get with these bums and struggle publicly but go against everything to do the exact same thing, believing the outcome will be different for them, it’s because as women we tend to think we’re different and special. Black women do this at an even higher level, we never see other older women as examples and learn from them.
Hey Chrissie! I just wanted to let you & your followers know that the younger black generation of women are paying attention & learning from past mistakes, im 20 & i avidly listen to your videos & its really helped me grasp what’s happening around me.
![MISSING: SLIM SHADY [Expanded Mourner’s Edition Trailer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xh8qgHrOO1g/mqdefault.jpg)
0:00 Intro
4:09 Marriage vs single motherhood
6:52 The stats
19:10 White single motherhood
24:33 Black single mother optics
28:22 Cherry picking representation
32:03 Good fathers vs husbands
38:03 Wives pandering to single mothers
44:44 Rich women & high risk marriage
54:21 Women who regret having children
58:48 Wanting the baby and not the man
59:48 Steve Harvey’s warning to Keke
1:17:32 Desperation & refusal to date out
1:21:18 Shaming single mothers
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Steve Harvey is right. I think Steve Harvey enjoys working the rest he does because he knows his talents and capable and it was proven. He wanted to work for Majorie and more. Keke will soon find out.
ruclips.net/video/BGQiVTEABBs/видео.html an interesting outlook on women's perspective of hypergamy today
Halle berry, case and point. Even though she was a baby momma she still had to pay that man. So Rihanna and Keke better watch out
How do u feel about Beyoncé marriage
Why leave RIRi from cover 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I work about 40 weddings a year as a wedding singer. The upper class is getting married. White people easily go to a number of weddings a year. Meanwhile I can count the weddings i’ve been to for people in my family on one hand. Hella baby showers though lol. There are cultures where having a baby before marriage is so highly forbidden. Yet black women will argue single motherhood is totally normal. I wish we valued our wombs a little more.
Facts!! & omg!! Wedding singing sounds like such a cool job!! 😃 🎤 I can carry a lil tune myself,I wish I could do that 😊 [wedding singing]
Amen
AMEN
I agree. I work in corporate with high earning professionals and have never come across a baby mama, everyone I've worked with in over 30 years has been married. My child goes to a fee paying selective school and all her friends' parents are married. I've only been to 3 black on black marriages in my entire life (I'm in my fifties), and all my siblings, friends and acquaintances have had children out of wedlock. Black people in majority white countries, and some black people in the Carribean, have normalised dysfunctionality.
I’ve attended 10-15 weddings in the last 12 years…WP network/make friends throughout college and invite each other to these weddings. So you as a parent end up going to yours kids wedding AND sometimes the weddings of their friends. Damn, we have 2 weddings on our schedule for spring’23! WP of means get married. My daughter and I went to a wedding expo. There were vendors who had dresses, shoes, makeup artists and other businesses. Not ONE black wedding vendor. 😑. My daughter and I went for fun because she was getting married. We quickly noticed we were the only POC in the place😑
A good father wants to be a GREAT husband!!!
Because he believes in keeping his family together 💜
🎯
@Dani Dani 💯
Right what man don’t want to be in the home with their kids respecting loving and MARRIED TO THE MOM
You have to give up a lot of your requirements, go to the tech field or something hands on and find a black men . They are out there for sure
I work at a hospital and all of the ladies of other races are either married or engaged. The white girls, Asian girls, Hispanic girls, Indian girls, all of them have husbands or fiances. The Black women are the only ones who are single mothers. There was a young white girl who announced she was pregnant, I told the ladies I work with, "I bet she'll be engaged soon because white people don't play that single mom sh*t", the black women were so offended by my comment. Especially when she came to work a few weeks later with that engagement ring.
What was the reaction from your black co workers when they found out she was engaged a few weeks later and you were right??? Just curious.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
People love giving their favorite celebs like Keke palmer and Rihanna a pass, but in my opinion, idc how rich you are, it will never be a good look for black woman to be baby mamas. It's scary that this is being normalized.
The difference is that a black child born to a woman who is a multi millionaire or a billionaire V.S the everyday black woman is that the black child(ren) born to a rich black parent won't suffer in the same way that poor black children will, we can say what we will about wether or not it's *morally* correct but this doesn't really apply to rich women of African descent who still got options and a lot more than the average black female might I add 🤷♀️
Rich Black single mothers are thee exception
@@fatherbewithme that's BS, she is right, people have their favorite celebrities they defend and make excuses for and who to bash and drag, they are bias for celebrities they LIKE ..........because then, why did blk people drag Ciara so bad, through the mud, and she is a Multimillionaire, she had and STILL had MORE Money than Keke Palmer, and don't say it's because Fewcha had Kids before, because so does Offset, Kenny Petty , London on the Track, Jeezy, Young Joc and ALOT of other Men and women still get with/ Marry them and give them more Kids. She been MARRIED for yearssss and STILL gets bashed.
Preach, they show favor and give passes to celebrity women they LIKE, Keke Palmer and Rihanna BOTH willingly became Baby Mamas and people are jumping through hoops to defend their choices. Bias.
I don’t give Rihanna or Keke a pass. When everyone was congratulating Rihanna I said she was a great business woman but her personal life was like a hood booger with a GED who works at dollar general to support two oow kids. A wealthy, dusty hood booger.
As a married woman for ten years and two children later, I would never want to do it alone. Even with a provider husband looking after children is hard work. Avoid single parenthood at all costs.
Yes I'm married stay at home with two daughters. One is 2 years old and the other just turned 11 weeks old. They are hard work. I can't imagine raising them by myself.
👏👏👏
Married here with an
This is me💯...I always say: It's not marriage that's hard, it's having kids lol... You NEED that partner...
All you women are very lucky.
Modern men tell each other not to get married.
I became a single mother when the father who promised to marry me backed out when he met another woman at his job.
He lied to me about marriage and a future just to get me pregnant.
I came from an abusive family that never taught me anything about life I learned everything the hard way.
We need to educate all women that men are capable of pretending and faking love and never trust a man.
I think lots of women just don't want to admit they made a mistake because they see it as calling the children a mistake.
Good point.
I wouldn’t consider it moping and complaining if you prevent your niece or little cousin from making the same mistakes you made. But, in order to do that you have to tell the truth to them.
@@youareenough4978 💯
What mistake?? Men a are incapable of love and are co dependent to women, and ran up under a patriotic philosophy stop telling women they made mistake or they choose the wrong male that comment is old and outdated!
🎯
Women forget that children are the greatest gift to give a man. Don't risk your life giving a man a lineage, legacy, IMMORTALITY through your womb for someone who hasn't claimed you legally. You are permanently attaching yourself, taking yourself off the table for other men, sacrificing your body mind and soul through dedication for your husband and children all to be called a baby mama or girlfriend? If a marriage certificate is just a paper, then there's no reason not to get it right? No harm right? There is value to marriage and there is value when you're a married woman even if it's struggle. Never have kids by a dusty but if you plan to (get therapy) at least be smart by not having kids or try to get something out of it. Don't ever give children or your life to a man who has not earned you or kids.
🎯
Think of the genetics too. They are passing on degenerate male genetics. Ew
Exactly. Thats exactly what I told this guy. I can not see myself risking my womb and life giving a man who don't want me as his wife, a child. Thats legacy. I definitely don't want the attachment that comes with having a man's baby. Ladies, guard your womb!!!
It's so disappointing how women can be so reckless with their wombs. It really is a sad thing.
Totally agree that the most valuable thing you can give men are children. Whether they see it as valuable or not...
I approve this message, and I’m a woman who had my child out of wedlock. I’m married now and well taken care of, but I would never encourage motherhood before marriage. Now that I know better, I’m teaching my child better.
I used to work at a upper class majority white daycare and there was a white family where the daughter was 16 years old and was a teen mom. The teen mom’s daughter went to the daycare. I remember asking in which I later found out is the grandma, “oh is she your daughter? She is so adorable.” The grandma lies and said yes that’s my child. Come to find out the family was embarrassed that the 16 year old had a baby out of wedlock. A lot of white families would rather lie and claim the grand baby as their child instead of telling the truth. Another story, I used to go to a prominent college and a white lady asked me, “are you going to find you a rich man in college?” I said no I am here to get my degree. She told me that’s great and all but college is a great time to find an educated rich man. At first I thought she was being shallow, but she was really putting me on game. I observe white people especially rich ones and I can say their mindset is way different and smart white people have taught me a lot about dating…good points at that.
Literally! I’ve had a lot of rich white men use to always ask me why don’t I just marry a rich guy…at first I wasn’t sure because I was 21 at the time, now that I’m 24 it makes a lot of sense. The life that I want to provide my children does involve a man with money, for example, I want my children in private school and that’s not cheap!!
Oh hell yeah... college is a networking event for high-quality potential mates.
Steve Harvey was absolutely right. People like saying if it were the other way around it would be the same, without taking the context into account. A man marrying down is not the same as a woman marrying down. A rich man can marry a woman who makes less, she’ll level up or be a “good homemaker” who takes care of him. Married men are happier and live longer. Also a wife makes a husband look better to society. A woman marrying down is bad because men who do poorly in patriarchy despite all the advantages they have due to their gender tend to be femininized, lazy and complacent. They live longer and healthier but don’t improve socio-economically by getting married. The woman will be tired and drained, carrying burden of taking care of the home and the children in addition to the financial responsibility. That makes absolutely zero sense. In the words of Nike: JUST SAY NO.
I just listened to the clip, Keke made some good points, but I really thought she was smarter than that. As for having to agree with Steve, remember the broken clock theory.
Right. Small price to pay, no. I think giving your body and almost your life in childbirth and rearing is worth at least the promise of him loving, cherishing and providing for you?! Even if marriage is not a complete fix or answer, it says in your union, and of your union in the eyes of others, that a commitment was made. As a foundation in relationships, that's a good place to start right? Jeez, talk about giving up on hope, love and values. In many cases people can lose a lot, even their physical and mental health, when they give up on hope and values. This is a lot more spiritual than people think.
@@sparker7768 Right! Steve tells the collective of woman to not worry about a man's money, but tells his rich lady friend to date up! Hilarious!
Lol….that was Nancy Reagan….but I am with ya!
Well said!
A married woman’s stress and single momma stress is different. I’m married. My momma was not. She tells me specifically that it’s a world of a difference. Additionally, I watched how she stayed in survival mode for decades. I have a village and my husband to help me in every way imaginable. My life is not perfect but it’s joyous in total. My mom is just now living a peaceful, joyful life in 2023. They lying because they are prideful.
YOU LIE!!
Married women STRUGGLE MORE! All of my friends are dancers and MARRIED MEN live in their face spending mortgage money on dances/sex/and whatever. Your husband may help you, but that is the damn bare minimum. Wives LOVE to WEAPONIZE marriage, because they are married. But their husbands can’t stand them
Ma’am relax. I’m sure I make more money than your whole house. Be ok with your choice.
@Christine walker. Why are you so pressed. She is right, being a single parent is hard and have left many women with emotional and financial stress. That is the reality for many.
I would say this only works if you have a good partner. That's kind of the problem. Even white women are talking about being married single moms. Take your scenario and imagine it being a man that doesn't work, doesn't clean, and doesn't help with the kids. That's how some married women are living.
1. Healthy marriage with good partner.
2. Single mom
3. Married single mom
Keke said the men with money are just as bad as the others then why not choose the ones with money.
Exactly! Her logic made no sense. At least the ones with money won’t be asking you for shit. That’s one less thing you’ll have to deal with off the cuff
@@babyyloverk2565 :(
@@babyyloverk2565 probably. you know those broke men lay it on real thick and lavish you with attention because they have all the time in the world.
She took Tyler Perry’s advice instead of Steve’s.. she did not deserve ANY of the abuse but she should’ve chose someone on her level or stay single if men with money is just as bad with a man with no money
Most BW say have given up on marriage simply because they date BM exclusively and they know most BM aren't interested in making anyone their wife until they are old,used up and looking for a nurse w/a purse. Most BW dont think they are even worthy of marriage because they listen to dusties and their mammies telling them "marriage is just a piece of paper" or "you don't need a ring to be in a committed relationship"...those are just phrases to cope with the fact that BW settle for less. Marriage(good and healthy marriage) is important! All the statistics prove that...BW DEMAND MARRIAGE especially if you want children! If he gives you those textbook dusty anti-marriage catchphrases leave him alone.
I cackled on that "looking for a nurse with a purse" I had a step dad JUST like that he couldn't stand Dark skin black women until he was old & his health started failing him then he got with a super dark black female who took care of him until his final days but still his colorism wouldn't allow him to just stick with her he still wanted my mom who wasn't light skinned or dark but my mom was more red but still lighter than the woman who took care of him in his final days
@FatherBe WithMe LOL I got that term from my auntie. Smh sad that the dark skinned woman fell for his game but chances are she was just as desperate as him.
Exactly. Bw can find decent partners if they date outside the race. But I think most bw aren't prepared to do this, so if they want children they will be single mothers because bm are not marrying. I encourage all young bw that I meet to be open to dating non -black men.
I was dating a wealthy black man last year who spoilt me rotten but wanted me to be his perpetual girlfriend. I loved him a lot and was with him two years but I still left without looking back ONCE!! He didn't want to ever get married or have kids and I knew it couldn't work. I didn't deny myself or my standards and now I am with a lovely Polish man that's also very well to do, spoils me, loves me and wants to build a family with me, marriage and kids. Please don't deny yourself what you want because you think it isn't possible. It's definitely possible it just may not be possible with THAT man.
@@Coco-uk9tv dating nonblack men aren’t the solution. People just need to work on themselves and stop being so desperate for male attention.
1MILLION % AGREED FROM A YOUNG SINGLE MOM NON HYPERGAMOUS BLACK WOMAN EXPERIENCE. ALMOST 40. The Struggle Is Real AND ONLY CONTINUES.
DO BETTER BLACK WOMEN AND LEARN FROM THOSE IN FRONT OF YOU 🤚🏽
Thank you for your honesty! Love to you and your baby ❤
Yes, same here. Young ladies, please learn. I was in a struggling marriage and now struggle with single parenthood. But I love my babies.
Same here I attended less weddings than baby showers this year. Most BW I know who are married split bills and are financially challenged. I don’t know why most BW sell themselves short for marriages only with BM, which doesn’t result in wealth building.
Wow what were his red flags?
Asé
I think it's ridiculous that we keep qualifying the marriage conversation by saying " healthy marriage." Is it NOT obvious that HEALTHY marriages are the only REAL MARRIAGES? Chrissie is CORRECT. Marriage is better for children. I think it's a NON starter and a way to derail the conversation by repeating " my grandparents were miserable..." We need to collectively make the switch that the only real marriage is hypergamous and HEALTHY. Let's get on the same page. We will fight for our right to be single mothers and hypogomous it's disgusting. " I want a baby..." right, you don't want to raise a healthy adult. If and whenever possible, let's raise children in healthy, two parent homes, and lets OPT out of children if we cannot do that.
Exactly! I listened in on a convo on another channel where a woman was advocating for motherhood with or without a father….just to “experience” motherhood and while I empathize with that to a degree I also thought-how selfish. Especially for the child. I was a product of a single parent home. I have a LOVELY mother….but we definitely struggled through life and I know the quality of my mother’s life suffered too. She deserved better. We both did. It’s okay to not have children if you can’t muscle the responsibility. A HEALTHY two parent household should always be in tandem to having children. If you’re unable to give that to your child then you probably shouldn’t be having children.
@@Hintedbymarina
I approve this message. I love the idea of humanity offing themselves by ceasing to procreate.
The qualifying "healthy marriage" talk is annoying, but important because Bw have been taught that having a man is better than nothing, married or not. The Blk community is a representation of the dysfunction that marriage does not solve. Marriage is only of value based on the man the woman marries. Bw are in struggle marriages with not much benefits. These conversations can help women that have never made the mistake of marrying a man only for love.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
100% agree with this whole thing.
I’m a married woman with a 3 month old. I would not want to switch places with a single mom. Although my husband and I have issues and it gets really hard at times. It’s nice to have the protection and resources of my husband. Even if we don’t work out my daughter will know that I at least tried to give her a stable life with 2 parents.
❤️
There are books you can read to help, and counseling. I got divorced but realized we could gave easily worked thru those issues
❤
This is coming from a man. Work on your issues, keep those issues in house, only spill the beans with a certified 3rd party “therapist/counselor ”, give each other a level of healthy time and space mentally but ALWAYS come together spiritually and pray together no matter how angry or bad things are between you two.
Make sure the work that needs to be done isn’t one sided. If you both aren’t willing to work it out then there may be a real issue. If you’re both afraid to put in work due to the fear of your spouse not being a willing participate, let the counselor determine this for you instead of letting your thoughts and feelings take over.
DON’T LISTEN TO NEGATIVE SOCIAL MEDIA! By this I mean don’t listen to videos that bash marriage or give you a false confidence of being able to do better.
I tell men all the time if you want marriage stop listening to videos that bash women telling you their all bad. Same advice I’m going to give to you, don’t listen to videos that tell you all men are bad. We are adults in the age of knowledge. We know who bad people are as soon as we say hello. You can literally look at a persons Facebook and tell what it is before a first date.
You know your spouse better than anybody so don’t listen to anybody about your marriage except for THE MOST HIGH and pray for a good counselor because the objective of the counselor is to fix the marriage, not motivate divorce.
Last thing, acknowledge when you are wrong and at fault. When I was in counseling my wife couldn’t believe that she had issues as well. As my counselor said “marriage is a union where 2 become 1 so the problem is never 1 sided. If you catch the flu, the whole body suffers not just one side”.
@@LisaSoulLevelHealing I’m sorry to hear you guys divorced. In this day and age and in this world is it possible to get your husband back? He may be willing especially if you are and if the issues weren’t that deep and fixable.
All of my single relatives and friends say the same things, “marriage is so hard to find but a good sex partner isn’t”. 😂
What we really need to talk about that's not getting talked about enough is the deteriorating mental health in single black mothers. The incline of mothers killing their children because of undiagnosed postpartum and other MH issues are increasing and it's so sad.
I can't imagine harming my child. I'd rather end my own life than let my ppd possess me to do something that evil.
well the constant shaming surely doesn't help either
Idk if it's just me but it's embarrassing to be rich and become a baby mama as Keke has. Like she has options.
First off I love your profile pic. Sailor Moon for life.
Second: I was so distraught when I found out she was pregnant. And I'm NEVER distraught when a celebrity does whatever. In my Tyra Banks voice: I was rooting for her. 😫
I think the benefits of marriage decrease for women as their incomes increase it the highest levels. Unless she’s marrying someone earning even more than her. Keke may not be the highest earning celebrity, but she earns more than 99% of Americans.
She should've gotten Chris Evans 🙄
I Agree I am embarrassed for her
She's had plenty of options. It makes no sense. We trash bm and how backwards their behavior is but bw, we have our issues to that are a blind spot to us.
Unfortunately some people STILL believe that having a baby with a man will make him stick around.
Still?😒
@@newdawn7586 I can't believe it either!
A baby with never keep a man it may keep other options you could of had away
If he didn’t love you from the beginning having a baby with him will only make it worse lol
You never know until you try
Keke said “billionaires have the same baggage as the rest of them” exactly so why not get with the billionaire and know that you don’t have to take care of anybody for the rest of your life, even if it doesn’t work out!
Marriage should be promoted amongst BW, but not with the collective of BM. BW are the most educated, and have significantly more money than BM. So, they’re basically becoming more poverty stricken when they marry BM
Agreed. Which is why I suggested interracial and hypergamous marriage.
.
Yes I have a major prob with the current online messaging. I know majority of the conversations are about Afri American BP and BW but globally there are more BW outside of the USA than in. So, as a Brit, who is around all sorts of groups of people I find it reductive to talk about marriage being completely unsuitable, full stop, especially when the dating and socialising pool in other parts of the world don't just include "those types" of AA men.
@@ChrissiesWay
You know the vast majority of black women don't want interracial marriage, and being hypergamous with black men as a black woman is virtually impossible.
@@AnimeSheX
Black males all across the diaspora are the exact same
Hi Chrissie;
It’s crazy how I found your page AFTER the fact of how I decided to move in life. I’m married; coming up on 9 years; with two children (a boy and a girl). He’s very traditional and strongly believed in not having kids until married. I met my husband (who’s white) in the military. I joined the service with the mindset of leveling up and focusing on myself. It wasn’t until I joined the military that I realized that I have options in men that I can date…and let me tell you more than enough white men are interested in black women. After a month of dating he told me he was going to marry me; which i thought at the time that he was delusional being to my history of dating nothing but black men….it was foreign to me how he moved but I was (and still is) very much attracted to it. My husband is now a DOCTOR in medicine; and we both are out of the military. He works; pay all of the bills; while the children go to daycare and private school; while I go to school. I have one year until I to become a doctor…..girl and he’s pushing me to do residency meaning that he’s okay with continuing to pay 100% for everything. I never had a 50/50 convert with this man. He could care less what I do with the money I earn because he has it covered. I’m saying this to say BW…..please broaden your options. I to was under the mindset of dating nothing but black men…..so happy I became “woke” 🙃🤣
Congrats on the successful life you have created for yourself. 💐
@@sm_sf thank you ❤️; we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary for our new build home. I never would have thought I could have this lifestyle. I was always told how “pretty for a dark skin girl” I was or how I was to skinny; or such a lame/ nerd as I was growing up. In my high school year book I even have so many name callings such as “have a great life to the blackest, white girl I know. Or call me an Oreo. It hurt back then; but I’m so happy I stayed true to myself and didn’t try to fit into societies mold of what they think a dark skin black girl should be, act, or look like.
@@logicturn4340 Wonderful! My father and brother wanted us to date out because they already knew the score. All 3 of us met our nonBlack husbands and became engaged within the first year of dating. Congrats!
@@ebonylady congratulations to you as well!❤️; I’m just happy I found a space with other black women who are in the same mindset as me. I really thought maybe I was just crazy lol. Chrissie is doing a beautiful job with her content and creating a space for such women. I love how she gives the truth and correction towards her own demographic. We need it as a whole. ❤️
Congratulations 😊.
I am currently talking to a very nice man who happens to be white. He told men usually know, within the first six months, if they want to marry the woman they are talking with. He told me he wants to be married within one year of dating.
I am still observing and discerning.
Why was a whole chart needed to show why its better to be married when having kids 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 lord, our people are slow if you have to really use a chart to say no against single motherhood
Exactly. I understand women saying they don't want to get married to these dusties. But our women look hypocritical when we have children by the same men.
Lmfaooo I said the same thing
Don’t save them. They don’t wanna be saved.
@@blake1267 right. If kids aren't in the picture, then there isn't a huge benefit to women. But kids? Absolutely. Don't need a chart to predict the outcomes for both the child and the mother. The kids are literally turning on their mothers and grandmother's every single day.
SO slow😢
Black women need to wake up 🗣️there’s a BIG difference being a black single mother VS a white single mother it comes with benefits…Alimony, spousal & child support ❗️
EXACTLY . And they actually have real community and support when they do end up single mothers . Bw don’t have the benefits ww have when it comes to single motherhood . Even if the WW is “undersireale” to the white men in her community , even if she is a single mother with biracial children she will still be treated better by society just because she’s white .
Not if you know what you’re doing & your finances are in order. I’m speaking from experience. My kids are grown & when my x & I split up I left him with the house, everything in it & didn’t need anything financially for myself & my children. He still clowned like a crazy person. We are both 56 today & he’s still crazy. I moved on after we split & have been fine every since.
This is what I’m saying, even when you do the right thing as a bw, the benefits aren’t always there. Most black woolen don’t leave marriages with alimony, plus most black woolen eventually divorce and will end up a single mother.
This is why you don’t marry down in the first place…so if something happens you will get proper alimony/child support. If you marry dust that’s what you will get.
@@newdawn7586 Most BW want BM so they will have to marry down.
Keke has the ability to run in the best afffluent circles, to be set up with a good marriage minded mind, but yet here we are.
It’s mind boggling to me! Keke has men of all races fawning over her! I meant sis has options! Her and Taraji P Henson can have any affluent men but they’re so race loyal that self preservation isn’t a priority to them! Unbelievable!
Because they refuse to date out
Exactly!!!! It’s scary 😦
You can’t want more for someone than they want for themselves. Many people know better and just choose not to do better
They love being with dusties it makes no sense, Serena Williams is smart
Being a single mother is never a good thing. Usually many single mothers are out there struggling. At least the Kardashians can afford to hire Nannie’s and get a break. The average woman can’t afford that. So I don’t know why a lot of them are comparing their lives to rich single mothers.
Exactly the Kardashian can have a lot of children if they want to and hired nannys to take care of them and still have a good life
I am a married man with adult children. Men often have difficulty bonding with their children especially when they are babies. Always being there with them and taking care of them is what helps us to bond with them . When a young child’s personality starts to come out we are hooked. Guys that just have baby mama’s often don’t bond with their children. The idea of being through with child support after the age of 18 is a joke . It takes support sometimes well into their 20s to launch 🚀 children. The married guys that I know with adult children are advocating for them into their late 20s . Children born into single parent homes are shortchanged.
One of my children needed dental work that cost almost $1,000. There was no argument. We had to find a way to pay the bill and get her teeth repaired. The conversations that I am able to have with them at anytime. They usually want to talk when I am trying to go to sleep.
Having children out of wedlock should not be accepted as being normal .
Thank you Chrissie for pointing out the obvious. Please keep believing we married women are stressed 😂😂. Our stressors are just different (i.e. preschool we want our kids to go to, kids in too many after school activities, which in-law’s house to go to during the holidays…just to name a few). I would NEVER trade places with a single mom.
Exactly!
Add, monitoring their tech usage, junk food consumption, getting A's vs B's, squeezing in time to workout, finding a sitter for date night, etc.
All of this 🙌🏾 The school bus came 5 minutes early, I'm "late" putting up our indoor Christmas decor, etc...exhausting 😁
Question does your partner help? one of the man issues is married woman seem to be doing it all like a single mom. The stress in your comment is not different from single moms- so how has being married beneficial to you would be a good point to highlight!
@@alwaysaccurate8725 Mine does when he's home (not working). While I may have to cajole him re: housework, I never have to beg him to help with our children. When his work interferes with navigating our children's activities or other home-based events, that's when I have to seek help from "the village". To me, what makes it different from single-motherhood is that he's there more often than not, which gives me the mental capacity to deal with the inevitable inconveniences of life, and I'm not stressed about finances. I feel like my reprieve is built in to our marital and familial relationship. Never perfect, but it works for us 🤷🏽♀️
@@dmoon6137 OKAYYYYY!!! I had 2 sitters on rotation at one point and one of them used to be their nanny for years 😂😂. I pick married stress any day 🤣.
The fact that I can say "please deal with this", when one or all of our kids are fussing and I'm too tired and my husband takes over, while I go upstairs for a needed nap, is enough for me to acknowledge how privileged I am in my position as a married woman. No amount of disagreements or discontentment will change the fact that I need this man, not just cause I love him but I need him to raise these babies, we've been blessed to have, alongside me because I wasn't designed to do it alone.
Same.I love my husband very much though lol.
Yeees!!!! It’s now that I’m older I realized just how much my dad did for me! A man who is eager to be responsible for his children is the type of father I want for my own kids!
Amen
I don't think you understand how unbelievably rare that is. You have a partner. I think it's disingenuous to pretend that the vast majority of women have partners. I mean the white women are bailing on marriage because they're married single moms.
I don't wish bad marriages or single motherhood on any woman. Both have problems I don't want.
Very true
Agreed!!
Single motherhood is worse. At least you can divorce your husband, how do you divorce your child from your life 😢
@@eleanor1105bad marriages with kids. Obviously, simply being married to someone and having no children doesn't create any issues. The reality is that most women are in the position of being a married single mother for a single mother.
I don't know a woman on this Earth that wouldn't choose to have a great partner to be married to and raise a family with. That's not what's happening. Women are marrying men who suck them dry and become another child for them to care for.
You can leave a bad marriage a child is forever.
Also I find it disheartening to hear her defensive /dismissive responses to what Steve was saying because he didn’t even tell her she needs a millionaire. He said ‘someone with a PLAN’. The absolute minimum for any woman really, but ESPECIALLY a rich one.. and she couldn’t even argue that ‘he HAS a plan’ or ‘he’s working on something’? Especially with a whole baby coming (apparently pretty soon)? That really concerns me
Couldn't of said it better myself.
Gosh he was actually setting her up with billionaires and she was dismissing them. I would give up a kidney to have someone setting me up with billionaires
Because she’s controlling…she’s prideful..you can tell…but that will be her downfall just wait
She said Halle Barry got a “Little white dusty”. That got me screaming
Keke does represent - 77% of black kids born out of wedlock. She is literally the statistic. And I honestly think she is dingy and going to find out this is not a good look.
77% of black kids born out of wedlock don’t have million dollar careers.
@@youareenough4978 when are yall going to learn that money is only one part of things and stop pedestalizing the material
@@youareenough4978 that means nothing. It's a generational curse of single mothers having single mothers. Women who don't have fathers tend to seek the validation of males without having strong boundaries or know how they are supposed to be treated.
They look up to kiki. They shouldn't get the wrong idea.
@SunVenusMoon what exactly do you mean keke represents 77% of black children born out of wedlock? Last I check keke palmer parents are married and are still married to this day! She literally comes from a two parent household and her father was always in her life! So that whole generational curse of single motherhood you were talking about technically doesn't apply to her, because her mom was never a single mom! This is why I asked for clarity about your original comment because the generational curse thing doesn't apply to her. I get you may be disappointed by her actions but that's doesn't give you the right to make stuff up about her family to fit your narrative of generational curses and single motherhood!
Keke has options but she is black male identified so she settled . Also, I think she was obsessed with light skin and looked passed him being unemployed.
My parents were not religious but having children outside of wedlock was an absolute no. My father told me I better be married before I have any man’s children. I can remember my father would not let guys in the house if he knew they were not good enough for us. My father was a driving force for me. He was a good example of what type of man I wanted to marry. Unfortunately the dating pool is a piss pool.
Give your life to Jesus ask him if it's his will for you to get married
This makes sense why every fine a$$ doctor I see is married no matter the age 😩 Every high position high earning man I see happens to be married.
This is true.
Yup
Yeah unfortunately those guys are off the market quick
While they cheating on their wives with all the nurses and other doctors.
Men understand marriage is very beneficial for them specifically. For the most part, they are not alone for long
As a black woman who raised a daughter, my biggest regret was the affect it had on my daughter. You have a better chance of raising a mentally healthy child when you start with a marriage.
A healthy marriage
Ladies please heed this young ladies advice, there is nothing cute about being a Single Mother. No matter what the father says, what his mother says, your mother, grandma, aunt's and cousins, no matter who says they're going to help you financially, with babysitting, IT DOESN'T MATTER. At the end of the day the responsibility will always fall on you. This is your baby. When everyone else dips that baby will be on your hip.
Great Video. This argument was always dumb to me. A baby, in my opinion, is a WAY bigger commitment than a Marriage. I see it like this... if we get married, don't have kids yet, and it doesn't work out, we both can leave freely. If we marry, have children, and do not work out, I'm leaving.....but with resources, because we have kids. Of course things aren't always black and white, but I'll never be convinced that marriage IS NOT beneficial. But it's damn sure NOT beneficial when you deal with a dusty/man who isn't on your level, or refuse to expand your options because your "waiting".
True. I have two friends who are separated and free because they walked away childless
You're absolutely right, but men don't see it that way. Trust me. I've talked to a number of men who see marriage as a bigger commitment than a baby. I don't understand that logic lol.
That's if you marry a man with resources and not marry down.
That's why my husband and I waited for several years before having children ("let's see how this works out first..." energy).
@@msconcreterose93 I love that!
Some sisters are championing Single Mother hood because they still overwhelmingly want black Love & Black babies BUT they know deep down inside A LOT of young brothers don't necessarily want that, & the number of very young brothers who want black Love with unapologetically black women with the Fairy tale marriage gets worse the younger he is especially if hes young and considered generally attractive (PLEASE DONT LET HIM BE ATTRACTIVE ISSA WRAP) &/or he has lots of money its a STRONG chance he'll want his freedom & want to stay a bachelor until he becomes an old man (remember the book "Is marriage for white people"? By Richard Ralph ) So some sisters would rather adjust their relationship standards & essentially lower them & take still take their chances with BM who most don't believe in marriage rather than take care of themselves, stay in school & expand their dating options to include all types of men which may better their chances of being married.
I think that's the problem with black women. They only deem black men viable options for pro creation and marriage instead of expanding dating options. They lower their chances of finding partners by doing that.
Chrissie, you told no lies about broke men. They are very problematic, insecure, and abusive. Keke is making a big mistake. We've seen this too many times now. I had Keke's illness until I met a Dusty broke ass narcissist. Completely changed my worldview. Never again. I would rather be alone.
Yep. Can we also be honest how, like Steve Harvey said, many BW want to give these men THEIR lifestyle when it's unearned. Isn't giving your body and in many cases, almost your life in childbirth and rearing worth even the SYMBOL of a promise. Not much to ask, no? Marriage is no absolute fix but it sure is a good foundation for at least a promise to love, cherish and provide for another soul and other souls created in the union. Jeez. Sad.
KEKE IS MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE...I heard that her baby daddy like broke up with her 700 times already. Like why would she do this!?! Its so sad. She could have easily married some White man who would have waited on her hand and foot...so disappointed in Keke
@@west4Bmovement ESPECIALLY given the options Keke has! Men of all races fawn over her beauty and personality! She could’ve easily gotten a quality, well to do man to settle down! They were all over her and sis had her pick🤦🏽♀️
@@niratomas579 ...I believe it was more HIS idea, that hers. No matter how wide her mouth gets when she is talking about how fierce she is...she is still insecure underneath it all. Most of you Black women are
@@west4Bmovement This is why channels like Chrissie’s are so important to help black women wake up,course-correct, and not feel any guilt for choosing the best men for ourselves. Your last sentence there is a great reminder. Thank you.
Chrissie is right. As a former SAHM I wouldn’t have traded places with a single mom or even a married single mom (i.e. she does everything.) My ex husband was a lot of things but he was and still is an excellent provider for me.
@@jennny22233 Girl those days are long behind me. My babies are grown just waiting for the grand babies eventually. One is married the other is engaged. 😬
Thank you for pointing out this very critical piece of the puzzle. Being a married single mom is a real thing. If we're going to have the conversation we know that for the vast majority of women, they're married single moms.
“He doesn’t have to have a million yet, but he has to have a plan…” THANK YOU UNCLE STEVE!
Stop dating people with stagnant growth who are also habitually broke. 🤷🏽♀️
Several members of my family who grew up in two parent homes are starting to have children out of wedlock. It makes me sad because you should want your kids to have what you had or better.
Exactly! You should want your kids to have better than you😭
That's because they came from two parent homes that were bad marriages. They saw their parents be f****** miserable and stay for the sake of the kids. That's why we need to be intentional about the way we talk about this conversation. If it's not a healthy marriage, fix it or walk away.
Marriage is always the goal ladies. Especially if your having children. Their Legacy depends on it.
Healthy hypergamous marriages is the goal for women who want children.
unfortunately, these days bw dont know the definition of LEGACY. u cant have a legacy by having babies with multiple men which is 60% of all black women with kids
What legacy?? 😂😂😂 please don’t conflate legacy with offspring. Oprah has a legacy, even Sean Combs has a legacy. Neither are married. The literal definition of legacy is leaving something of value behind. It has nothing to do with a child. You could donate a library to a college and that’s a legacy bc your name will live on and have status.
What is this imaginary legacy?
You are so wrong....
Half of yall be in marriages and be broke, miserable and don’t leave your children an ounce of property...much less some “legacy”...please stop
This video was very much needed. I will never be ok with justifying and normalizing single motherhood for bw--we are over represented in that demographic and it's so painful to me. Also when a content creator who I consider very intelligent said they dont give a F about the 80% out of wedlock births....that is extremely concerning to me. Black children deserve to be brought into this world legitimately. I've been divorced twice and will do it again and again until I get it right. Stop weaponizing the high divorce rates, the benefits outweigh the risks. Before marriage, protect your current/future money and assets to prevent becoming rooted to poverty, I'm so tired of that narrative.
👏🏽👏🏽 I know exactly which content creator you’re referring to..☕️
@@beemocha can you please tell me
I un-subcribed from a content creator recently who was spewing nonsense about bw wanting marriage and that marriage is not the answer. My grandparents and parents were married. Some of those marriages had issues or didn't last. I am a single mother, my child is fine human being, but I think I failed in some part by not providing the security of a 2 parent home. I believe in marriage and I encourage my child to marry one day.
I'm divorced. My daughter is STILL 100% treated extremely well. Difference between out of wedlock vs married coparenting. Any other kids would be within wedlock.
If I didn't want more kids, I wouldn't be so aggressive.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Being a single mother is nothing to brag about. Its not easy. I am a single mom. I dont have financial problems but sometimes its nice to have a partner/father around.
I'm a single mother as well and I'm not saying it's easy but I know many women who are married and still have a hard time. Marriage isn't an end all stress and loneliness when it comes to taking care of a home and children.
@@oleviapaige4133 Agreed. Divorce rates are through the ceiling and many women still feel like a single mom while married. It does not solve the problem. I do not regret having my child. I'm fortunate to be financially stable though with a great co-parent.
@@oleviapaige4133 This so called defensive statement "there are married single mothers" Is it all? No. Why because I did not grow up in such a home.
@sadra olaedo Where are you pulling this quote from?
Why are people looking at celebrities as examples? We don’t have their money for these types of bad options and recovery.
I recently said this to a friend, I've been invited to numerous baby showers in the last decade... I can count on one hand how many weddings...Versus my white counterparts that go-to multiple weddings a year, they even call it "wedding season" during the spring time.
i was a single mother when i was young, It wasn't cute and it was super stressful. i am happily married now. Please don't set out to be a single mom young ladies, it hinders you from a lot
Great live! In addition, I find it funny how we can talk about the lack of generational wealth in the blk community but then downplay the role of marriage and its effects.
Look up tax deductions and your state/local laws: there's huge tax breaks in being married as well as other protections such as the unfortunate case of unexpected death (unlike what happened to DMX and Nipsey's GFs). What you said toward the end is powerful; the point is to make sure that your children are better off than you were. And more often than not single motherhood does NOT ensure a child's best future. Instead you build generational wealth by doing what you can to best set up your lineage for the future. And that includes picking the right partner for the job.
I said in the chat that ironically enough, Biden just signed into law a marriage equality bill that would grant further protections for LGBT and interracial marriages. If everyone else can understand the value of marriage, why can't blk folks?
Exactly!
@chrissie can you do a poll on this in your community tab? I’m curious how many of your subscribers actually think this pro-babymama talk is logical lol. I’m hoping it’s less than it appears
Exactly the basis of poverty in the black race is single mothers with children. Plus most single white mothers who have children were initially married most single black mothers were never married . Also, single black motherhood with illegitimate children have children who suffer in every realm of life education too they have lower reading and math scores k-12
Don’t talk about picking the best partner like u have a crystal ball though. No one knows how their future is going to turn out with someone. You don’t go into the relationship thinking things will go bad but when they do then what. Definitely not saying keep being baby mammas but definitely be ready for the fall out. Sometimes therapy & a lot of other things will not hold the marriage together. Just something to think about.
You can't build generational wealth by marrying broke.
Yes 💯 agree. Well said. It's like BP want the whole planet to undo how it runs and operates. The majority of the world VALUE marriage more so than even Western countries and WP. How narcissistic to believe the world should change THEIR mindsets and value you for subscribing to something THEY DONT VALUE THEMSELVES. It's a patriarchy. Period. Marriage is as old as time. BP can't dismantle oppressive systems but are trying to attempt to dismantle the significance of marriage too....weiiirrrrrrrdddd.
Is the desire to have children more important that the quality of the childrens' lives? It's hard for me to believe that the desire to have children is worth the struggle? These women either have low self esteem and that's why they give their bodies to undeserving men or they become delusioned by the IDEA of having a cute baby to take care of love them, not considering the long term committment and responsibility. These women are pursuing relationships and thinking about having babies when they need to be pursuing some therapy and self-help. It's almost blatant self-sabataoge. Black men and women have become too accustomed with struggling and dysfunction, and people gravitate towards what they are familiar with. This mindset is generational and it's going to take more than simply education to break these cycles of dysfunction. We need an entire cultural shift for this to stop. How? I'm not sure, but I'm hopeful when I see black women speaking up on this widespread foolishness.
There's a whole social rhetoric that you're not a real woman, are selfish, have never experienced real unconditional love, etc. if you've never had a child (and a child that YOU carried... not adopted, had a surrogate deliever, etc). It's definitely indoctrination and very hard to ignore. But it's not as simple as "low self esteem". Girls are taught to pursue motherhood from before they even start speaking. It's truly a beast to break free from that idea and live a life that doesn't follow it, and those who follow it shouldn't have their decision reduced to them being called insecure.
Well stated
I agree.
Widespread foolishness indeed.
Nothing but facts.
This video is filled with gems. What I've also noticed in the black community is that a lot of underachieving black males are quicker to get married and target successful black women who are eager to be wed. Black men are way more hypergamous than us women so you'll find the majority of married black men do not earn nearly as much as their black wives. This is also a problem.
One thing about BM??? They are hypergamous af! We could learn something from them!
@@niratomas579 definitely girl
Exactly. These women in the comments are saying that at least if they get married, they get benefits from the divorce. I am still trying to figure out what benefits are you going to get if you are the breadwinner. I can tell a lot of bw are still lost.
@@season.of.renewel precisely. If most black women were interracially married then the argument about benefiting from divorce makes sense, otherwise it's a fairytale and myth.
I'm reminded of that piece in the NYT. There is a colorist aspect to it. Light skinned/biracial women are disproportionately more likely to be married in the BC.
I suspect that it's the DSBW who are marrying hypogamously.
Black people will go to college and have peers who are against single parenthood, graduate then go back to the culture that promotes it 🤦🏾♀️.
It’s baffling!
As a single mother, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I grew up in a religious prolife setting so I didn’t believe in abortion. But after what I have gone through, there’s no way I’m letting my daughter make the same mistake as me. I’m also telling all my friends to choose better!!!
I appreciate your honesty.
Be careful, a lot of them look down on you because you’re a single mom. Reading some of these comments will make you believe it’s always a woman’s fault for being in that situation.
@@kouayep0 I know, when my ex left, I came on the internet and saw only mean things about single mothers coming both from men and women. It was really painful because I know I’m a good person. I guess I am more mature now and I no longer care what people could think.
*hug* sis! Your story sounds like mine!
Sis it’s okay! I’m a single mom of one and i intend to keep it that way i believe for the rest of my life. I have been completely turned off from having anymore children due to leaving my ex because of his infidelity…the experience was ruined for me. I encourage all childless women to remain childless and give that baby back to god if need be…don’t be a damn single mother it’s not fun
I had to pay my ex child support. I dated down. I am divorced now. Marraige works if bw date up
Or on the same economic level at minimum.
Smh
Many black women, especially in family. Do not want the younger black women in their families to do better. They want the younger ones to suffer or go through what they went through. To make themselves feel better for dating down or not chossing better in life choices or men. So they do, sabotage the younger ones, like the younger sister or the daughter. Because they see a rival or competition in her. Its digusting honestly.
This is true for some. Misery loves company
This is why I advocate for distinction. We may be the most educated but we’re clearly not on the same page. Some BW are in advanced placement while some of us won’t make it pass basic learning. Some of us are tired of being lumped in with the bw who don’t understand the assignment.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
🗣
I concur!! Thank you. I keep reiterating this logic and people think I’m crazy. I am convinced there are tiers to being a black woman- I’m tired of society making general assumptions.
I don’t know why ya’ll keep saying BW are the most educated. On a per capita basis, Asian American women are BY FAR the most educated, then WW, then BW in third place. Google is free. 😂 Hasn’t it ever occurred to you that if BW really were the most educated, politicians and newscasters would talk about it non-stop as it would be a great American success story? But nobody who’s actually researched it says it. Because it’s not true. If it were true, the average BW would have a net worth of higher than $5.00. 😂😂😂
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I am a divorced “single mother” (as my ex was a psycho narcissist), but I was so obsessed with being married because of trauma from my Haitian upbringing and marriage being some type of social “goal”. Anyway, I make 6 figures, and my son and I live in an upper class neighborhood and shit is hard for me. Hard as hell. I’m tired all the time. I’m not sure if I want more kids, but I sure as hell will marry up next time if I do. 🥴 I’m not sure how women do it without money bc I have money and it’s hard AF. When I was in education, I would encourage my students to wait until marriage to have kids bc I was very candid about how hard life was for me raising a son educated, with a good salary…ALONE.
Her conversation with Steve sounds like a genuinely frustrated father concerned with his daughter's dusty love choices. I bet she got a call from a fuming Steve Harvey (and probably a concerned Marjorie) as soon as he found out she was pregnant and by whom...
Riigghhttttt
Well at least they know they have Lori to always do right by them 😂.
single motherhood is so degenerate IM SORRY i’m actually embarrassed to be a black woman sometimes, i have two parents which i’m so grateful for. all my black female friends have two parents as well. it’s sad that most of us don’t have fathers. i’m staying celibate so i don’t end up a statistic and i encourage all black woman to do so 🤷🏽♀️
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Yup it’s embarrassing
@@feitraspace4801that doesn’t even make sense love. Accountability
@@feitraspace4801 single baby momma💀
Sis! Say it louder for the people at the back. I am very pro life and don't believe in killing babies in the womb. That is why I am celibate. Not risking my womb for a man who hasn't put a ring on it.
Single mother hood is the most difficult for black women. After clearly seeing this, why would I be dumb enough to put myself in that predicament? That's crazy to me.
As someone whose married to a Puerto Rican man. Please consider expanding dating options.
my son father rican so true
@@ebonysims2538 are you married or divorced?
Same
That’s why I will continue to stick to marriage before children and properly vet men very carefully, no matter the race. I always hear women complaining about their babies daddies. It’s really sad.
The way Steve was tryna talk some sense into her child, and the way them pick mes were clapping for her..
Misery loves company! It’s disgusting.
Great live as usual Chrissie. Keke will be all right because she has more $ than the average person, but there is no way a woman as beautiful as her didn't have better options. Even if she wasn't interested in marriage & just wanted a baby, why not choose a man that's on her level or higher? Steve Harvey was talking to her like a daughter, and she just dismissed his advice. When she ends up paying a high amount of child support to her baby daddy, she'll regret not listening to him.
It’s so weird that to me that Keke didn’t get married first… with her talent, personality, beauty etc… she could have had any baller she wanted!
@@sheeshneesh That’s why this situation is so hard for me to swallow. I’m happy for her, but at the same time I really wanted to see Rihanna and her married to excellent men.
Mannnn this is my exact sentiments but when you say something people yell JUST BE HAPPY FOR HER and I’m just like so we just gone be happy that she settled? As big as her name is she could’ve had the best pick of the litter.
@@Blaquebarbgamer honestly same. It’s insulting that these men put a baby in them without a ring. They would make wonderful wives and partners. They could get a prenup to protect their assets. But if they break up, their BD is gonna be demanding child support
@@Blaquebarbgamer the Rhianna one hit me right in the gut.
Unpopular opinion, I really don't give a damn, but bw, we discuss (ad nauseam) how detrimental bm's behavior is, but we have blindspots that we ignore and refuse to acknowledge also. One of those blindspots is our selfishness in bringing innocent children into this world without the devotion of a mother AND father who are intentional with their union (marriage) and conception (children). Forget what you want and think about what the child needs. Damn. Give the children a fighting chance. Things may not always workout but at least TRY.
I wish Keke a healthy and happy pregnancy but no, I'm not gung-ho about this pregnancy. It's embarrassing for her, women and black women. Money does not fix and solve everything. It helps a whole lot - trust, but having a father fully committed to his wife and child is a game changer.
Men are spoiled with casual sex so they aren't interested in settling down. Your message is clear, but the main problem is that men are more focused on sex than a true purpose for their lives.
There's not enough good men to go around unfortunately.
I don't think it is unpopular at all. Women are partly responsible and you made great points.
BW outnumber BM in this country by 2 million. The majority of BW want to marry BM. So what is the solution.
I want to add to that, we women decide who we allow in our bodies, we do such a bad job qualifying these guys, yet blame them for not being who they are. DID YOU ASK THE QUESTIONS BEFORE LAYING UP WITH HIM OR WASTING YOUR GOOD YEARS ON HIM? Did you observe him like a hawk to see his true intentions before you conceived a whole human with him.
Of course all this knowledge is passed down through older generation and the community and they themeselves have failed us.
I observe other cultures and I see their parents/elders/community involvement in their union/relationship. Also, Im sorry to say, having such pressure increases the likelihood of women being paired up with better men. The men are held accountable because the community is the watchdog. We dont have that in our community so of course we are making these stupid mistakes that can be easily avoided when the older generation is guiding, and guess what? without this guidance and protection, we are easy targets for any other race to treat us anyhow, when they wouldn't mistreat their own the way they treat us.
Key word: INTENTIONAL. This 'falling' pregnant thing is not, nor never has been cute. No one just falls in marriage, people are very intentional about marraige and those who are anti-marriage are so because they respect it, and don't wan tthe accountabiity of the law, society, family and spouse that marriage weighs upon them.
KeKe just wanted a light skinned baby with curly hair. And he’s not in love with her either. He’s doing what his brother did: getting a baby by a dark skinned actress and not marrying her.
I respect your consistency Chrissie. You had the similar take on Rihanna too, even though folks wanted to claim she was a billionaire and didn’t need marriage to have kids. Keke’s case is no different.
Also in most states if you’re married over 10 years, you can collect social security on whoever is the highest. Even after a divorce, there’s so many legal monetary benefits when married
how can we be the most educated yet so dumb about these things?? im sorry, that's straight up child abuse putting your kid in a situation where children are living in these split environments. Its not good for their mental.
We're are also loyal to BM limited options.
You know the divorce rate in the US is 45% right. Children of divorce don't fair much better. Just don't have kids and don't get married. Work on you and making the world around ypu better. Marriage across the board has become less popular. Ultra rich people need someone to leave assets to. Regular people don't want Marriage and honestly if you're a woman and a high income learner it doesn't benefit you. Look at what's happening in Korea and Japan.
@@SE-gs6gd What's happening in Korea and Japan?
@@zarario4444 women are seeing there's not a huge benefit to marriage. They are staying single and childless
In a world where I don't feel comfortable having these conversations with family about things like this, because of judgement, so I'm glad your channel exists.
OMG same. I could never have this convo with my family (and yes, I know that’s problematic too). Too many feelings would get hurt 🥴
@@ajh.4131Honestly same. Though at least we’ll do better for our baby girls and break these cycles. I’m just counting to the day I have a convo with my Dad about why my boyfriend/husband might not be black 👀.
@@ballond9686 Very true!…My fam already knows he’ll most likely be outside my race. It’s not really a surprise considering my history 🤣
Word! I love having this community to have honest conversations and make better decisions for ourselves and our future babies (if we want them).
I’m not sure why people have been pushing this no marriage agenda. I think it’s a defense mechanism for black women bc they fear they won’t find a suitable mate.
I work in finance and my husband is a lawyer ( both black). And even for me (no kids yet) life became easier once I got married and I was successful on my own. Social norms are norms for a reason.
Yes, partly. And a lot of them are already single mothers themselves so want to justify it.
No bad marriage
Black women value your womb. If you going to have a mans child, have one by a man who is into you enough to ask YOU to marry him.
I don’t know why some BW are so hard headed about that🤦🏽♀️
I can’t believe I am agreeing with Steve Harvey on anything 🙃🙃🙃🙃
Some things are stranger than fiction.
Chrissie is correct... another thing is when you are married, the husband's family will help you. Even if the hubby is lazy, his family will make up the difference. But they will not for the baby momma. So, the married women will complain, but they not going nowhere, because it's more beneficial in the long run for tax breaks, ssi, retirement, medical, life insurance etc. Married women don't want to tell the truth because it's not popular.
The BC is so backwards. If you’re in your late 20s early 30s people think something is wrong with you if you don’t have a child. Not if you’re not married-but if you don’t have kids. Smh.
Women don't necessarily regret having kids. They regret having to take care of the kids by themselves...it can make you bitter!
Yet keep doing it. Never just one kid
This is a convo between married women and single mothers so I’m going to keep my single child free woman opinion to myself 😌
Everyone is involved when when they are influencing and giving bad advice to young, childfree women. They also say whatever they want about childfree, unmarried women so we can have our opinions too☺️
@@feitraspace4801 don’t speak that onto her, please stop. Encourage her or keep it stepping.
@@feitraspace4801 It is not a fate every women will face fortunately.
@@feitraspace4801don’t be like that sis 😢
Most the time when child free and/or single women put their two cents in we are told to STFU. So I understand why she said that. We normally painted as the bitter jealous ones.
KeKe’s boyfriend is looking for a roommate. She said she was in love and he’s the love of her life. He didn’t say any of that to her.
I wasn’t surprised by Rih deciding to be a BM but omg when I saw Keke I felt like my little sister had just made the announcement & I was let down. I made a mistake once & a friend told me to go forward with it even though I’d be 100% a single mom. It made me look at her funny because she was in the same situation with her bf who wasn’t perfect but would definitely take care of their child. Her encouraging me to be a single BM when she wouldn’t have been made me wonder how good her advice to me was. Glad I didn’t listen!
She wanted you to be a single mom because she knows that being a single mom is misery. Be weary of any friend that tell you to do that
Honestly Rihanna should have been a baby mama for a rich white or Asian or Arab Billionaire and then dated Asap rocky tbh
@@west4Bmovement exactly
Thank god you didn’t listen!
@@no-one00 the rich white/ asian/Arab would have married her. I’m pretty sure the Arab billionaire boyfriend she had was a relationship that ended because no way in hell would he have a child out of wedlock but his family probably didn’t want him to marry her either, so it had to end and she went and found a man who had no problems making her a BM.
Steve spoke his mind and he didn’t sugar coat anything. No wonder Lori is so smart today. She is going to make sure she doesn’t let a dusty trap her. Let’s also thank her mother Majorie.
Hey chrissie! So Im in college at an hbcu and i have a few friends who have had pregnancy scares this year both with dusties who have children from previous relationships that didn’t work out. And the fact that some were happy about having babies with these men and they provide the bare minimum for their existing children.And it really made think how lost some of us are. I know it sounds shallow but im honestly glad they didn’t continue with the pregnancy i could not imagine their life with as a baby momma and still in COLLEGE!!!🤦🏽♀️
Unbelievable! Happy with the bare minimum🤢
So BW know they can really do better? I’m happy that you’re observing how crazy their situation is! Stay focused and date up and NEVER give your womb to a dusty! You’re already doing well!
@@niratomas579 absolutely 😁
I’m attending a PWI college and I already see and hear some of the freshman’s being pregnant. I can’t imagine that being me during my freshman year because once you hit junior year everything gets hard.
Most black single mothers don’t have even villages to help them raise or even babysit the kids that’s the crazy part
black women please invest in birth control.
I don’t understand why many black people act as if birth control doesn’t exist. It’s always “I don’t believe in abortion” but preventing a pregnancy hardly ever registers. Then there’s the “I know someone who got pregnant on birth control,” “birth control is harmful to your body” & “Margaret Sanger.” It’s insanity plain & simple.
Don't even have sex. Get that Rose sex toy .
FINALLY a RUclipsr speaking on this topic who is actually making sense and who actually has black women’s best interests at heart. I’d like to offer another take that I haven’t seen yet, our community has a shortage men who possess marriageable qualities and I think a lot of that can be corrected with presenting more examples of HAPPY, HEALTHY, 2 parent households in their own lives. If these young men are growing up watching their mothers muscling the entire fete of parenthood, constantly making emotional and financial sacrifices alone then what do you think they will grow up to expect from the women they eventually date and have children with? As women we have to prioritize choosing better partners and lead by example so that we can create better paths for both our girls and boys. This isn’t a full proof plan but….it may involve opening your options and dating out…but let’s face it, we as women simply cannot raise GOOD MEN alone and boys specifically, have a better chance of growing up to be good, providers and protectors if they grow up seeing one at home. Which ultimately is a WIN for future black girls and the black family (if that’s even a thing anymore lol)
What I think is interesting is the depiction of single fatherhood in media versus single motherhood . You mentioned that single mothers don’t make it “look fun” …in media portrayals of parenthood , single parenthood only “looks fun” when it’s a man . However , in most of those depictions the mother is absent because she’s deceased . For most of these singles mothers they baby fathers be alive and well ….just my perspective from a media lens
Thank you for covering this important issue, Chrissie. The unchecked psychology behind this phenomenon has to be dissected and discussed. The complex trauma of these doomed decisions is negatively impacting all of us!
This is a really good live and I’ve always been really observant of not only my family but friends when it comes to relationships, marriage and children. At 29, no kids not married, I realize how blessed I am!
It’s a blessing to move freely and date up and have fun!
Love this for us!
BEING A SINGLE MOTHER BROKE ME ON A DEEP LEVEL. IT ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. I'M TURNING 40, HAVEN'T HAD SEGGS IN 2 YEARS BC THERE'S NO TIME FOR ME. IT ABSOLUTELY SUCKS.
Glad you honest it helps other women
I pray you find your happy 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Good you shouldn't be thinking about sex if you don't understand birth control and you shouldn't have sex outside of marriage that's Bible
At this point I think Black women WANT to struggle. Because we seem to know nothing else besides being mules and care givers. Because if we did want better, we wouldn’t put ourselves through the misery. Black women care more about birthing black babies than making sure the father of those babies are going to be present AND in the home. Black women care more about the safety of black men then caring about their own violence statistics. Black women care more about black men then they care about themselves.
Exactly. At the end of the day an individual has to make a choice; suffer or thrive. I don't feel sorry for people who keep making the same mistakes, just get away from the low vibrational way of being.
Preach sista !!!
@@Southern.Nappiness this! It’s like they hunt BW
1:01:05 So true!! There's NO reason for rich black women to date men with NO JOB and in some cases multiple baby mamas. That's just a BASIC rule of having self worth. Come on ladies. You don't have to be rich to have such a basic requirement.
Smart black women marry suitable spouses and THEN have children.
🗣
I heard the term “trauma baby” for the first time some months ago. Referring to having babies due to the trauma we have gone through in our past. Like having daddy issues or being s3xually abused as a young girl and then having that trauma lead how we pursue relationships and ultimately having a baby 🤰🏾 out of that behavior. Almost made me cry to think about 😢
On the show, multiple times- khloe has said that all she ever wanted was a full family unit and that she didn’t want to be a single mom. There was another scene where Kendall was saying she had baby fever and khloe was telling her to “have standards” and wait for “commitment” first (I’m assuming she meant marriage)
If these are the assertions she’s making on the show, I can’t even imagine the disappointment she has privately. Kylie is Khloe 2.0 but she hides behind her company/ wealth.
I had to pause the video for that Keke and Steve Harvey conversation cus my disappointment grew even more. She literally had all the tools in front of her☹️
I get told to just settle for a dusty to have a baby from family. I never take bad advice. I am choosing to be single and child free.
When these female black celebrities see other women get with these bums and struggle publicly but go against everything to do the exact same thing, believing the outcome will be different for them, it’s because as women we tend to think we’re different and special. Black women do this at an even higher level, we never see other older women as examples and learn from them.
🎯
I hate to admit this. You’re right! Speaking from a single mother of two. Praying my husband finds me 🤞🏽
Why didn't you marry your children's father?
Hey Chrissie! I just wanted to let you & your followers know that the younger black generation of women are paying attention & learning from past mistakes, im 20 & i avidly listen to your videos & its really helped me grasp what’s happening around me.
I see y’all shining😝
Cool 😎