Full podcast episode: ruclips.net/video/jRBksDVs4tg/видео.html Lex Fridman podcast channel: ruclips.net/user/lexfridman Guest bio: Paul Conti is a psychiatrist.
The moment I realised that I’d met my soul mate, and that I could trust her enough to tell her ANYTHING!…. We’ll at 29 years old the true deep healing has finally begun. I’ve realised how traumatised I’ve been. Sooooo much pain. How could I not see that before? We learn to hide our pain to avoid more pain. We build walls around our regrets and guilt. Around our inner children… our trauma. As social animals we need trust and love to heal each other. You CANNOT do it alone. I tried to do it alone all my life and all it did was make me sick and miserable. Find the others.
living alone actually helped me a lot. I understood my family better and accepted my flaws. Now I am working on them :) So you are living a good life now?
@@elise9537 Solitude helped me too, but it's not helpful for everyone. Even I needed some people to talk to about my pain. Never went to therapy, just talking to some trusted folks made me feel better. But in solitude is ultimately how I want to live my life.
I am struggling with it really hard lately. Basically things are on repeat in my brain over and over again :( exercising helps but I feel so stuck and I can't get organized or focus to really break free.
I feel you. The never-ending cycle of unkind thoughts is exhausting, but you can do it. Even if it is very difficult you have a choice! For me, when I am the most discouraged, it helps to me think that I need to persist for those I will make a difference in the future, those that I will touch with a smile, a kind word, a kind ear. Eventually that love will return to me, and I will allow myself to receive it and slowly replace the lies of self-hatred, unworthiness, shame. You matter and you are precious my friend.
sleeping and living alone alone helped me a lot. also eating dopamine inducing foods like turkey meat, cocoa and eggs makes a difference. Sending you my hugs.
We are with u brother, i have been surferong selfhatred since 15 years now im almost 30 and i have done 5 years of teraphy and im still in process but the most important thing its do stuff which make u a usefull, clever and good person to the world and for u and then u will be abble to stop for more time your negative thoughts about your self. Good luck body, from Spain😁🤟🇪🇸
It's great to hear more men talking about their mental health. We have to normalize that until it's like talking about sports or movies: It's something we all do and there's not judgement about it. And speaking to a therapist should be as normal as going to the dentist.
Self hatred means you hate your taste and you just assume that everyone you like is terrible, purely because you like them. The amount of times I’ve felt seen and loved in the last 8 years have been few and far between. It’s a difficult thing.
My own belief is we as humans think about ourselves extremely too much and it includes self criticism, if we focus on others the self hate/criticism fades. Abraham in the Torah focused on others and he was called G-Ds friend. This is not to ignore ourselves, but we do focus on ourselves too much. Think about what you’ve done or said every day, but for only 5-10 minutes.
“Criticism of others is thus an oblique form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.” ― Fulton J. Sheen
I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake my self hatred but I’m going to try with therapy. The fact that I have no friends who want to hang out with me and no intimacy is objective proof that use to fuel my self hatred. Don’t get me wrong, I have a nice life doing things I enjoy on my own but I think I can only go so much further until I’m just done
Hi There - just checking to see if you have taken any action toward therapy or other means to address the self-hatred. You absolutely have a seat at the table my friend and there’s plenty of food to sustain and satisfy us all. Take care.
@@grabes1980 thank you so much for your kind and empathetic response. Yes, I’m about my a month into therapy and it is helping so much. I’m also practicing talking to people more and I’m actually getting better and better at it. I think good things are coming!
Our brains aren't a single neat computer. It's more like a network of computers linked together. Some are primitive and very old and have very basic inputs and outputs. Other parts of that network are more complex and modern, so they misunderstand these basic inputs and outputs. But as a network, while it relatively functions, it didn't necessarily evolve to work harmoniously together. Then also add in that network is getting constant input from a massive amount of external networks (the world), some of which can be malicious. Malicious input can propagate through your own internal network, and it might do more damage in one part of the network than the others.
Our brains are not terrible. They are flawed, as is anything as complicated as them, but they are far more marvelous and impressive than they are faulty.
Full podcast episode: ruclips.net/video/jRBksDVs4tg/видео.html
Lex Fridman podcast channel: ruclips.net/user/lexfridman
Guest bio: Paul Conti is a psychiatrist.
The moment I realised that I’d met my soul mate, and that I could trust her enough to tell her ANYTHING!…. We’ll at 29 years old the true deep healing has finally begun.
I’ve realised how traumatised I’ve been. Sooooo much pain. How could I not see that before? We learn to hide our pain to avoid more pain. We build walls around our regrets and guilt. Around our inner children… our trauma. As social animals we need trust and love to heal each other.
You CANNOT do it alone. I tried to do it alone all my life and all it did was make me sick and miserable.
Find the others.
living alone actually helped me a lot. I understood my family better and accepted my flaws. Now I am working on them :) So you are living a good life now?
@@elise9537 Solitude helped me too, but it's not helpful for everyone. Even I needed some people to talk to about my pain. Never went to therapy, just talking to some trusted folks made me feel better. But in solitude is ultimately how I want to live my life.
I LOVE THIS.
Excellent speech
I am struggling with it really hard lately. Basically things are on repeat in my brain over and over again :( exercising helps but I feel so stuck and I can't get organized or focus to really break free.
You are not alone in your struggle. You got this! You will break free!
I feel you. The never-ending cycle of unkind thoughts is exhausting, but you can do it. Even if it is very difficult you have a choice!
For me, when I am the most discouraged, it helps to me think that I need to persist for those I will make a difference in the future, those that I will touch with a smile, a kind word, a kind ear. Eventually that love will return to me, and I will allow myself to receive it and slowly replace the lies of self-hatred, unworthiness, shame.
You matter and you are precious my friend.
I'd always recommend speaking to someone professionally about it. It really can do wonders to help you process it if you find the right person.
sleeping and living alone alone helped me a lot. also eating dopamine inducing foods like turkey meat, cocoa and eggs makes a difference. Sending you my hugs.
We are with u brother, i have been surferong selfhatred since 15 years now im almost 30 and i have done 5 years of teraphy and im still in process but the most important thing its do stuff which make u a usefull, clever and good person to the world and for u and then u will be abble to stop for more time your negative thoughts about your self. Good luck body, from Spain😁🤟🇪🇸
Wow this is so good. Thank you, Lex.
Really like Paul haven’t known about him long but very interesting listen
It's great to hear more men talking about their mental health. We have to normalize that until it's like talking about sports or movies: It's something we all do and there's not judgement about it. And speaking to a therapist should be as normal as going to the dentist.
Self hatred means you hate your taste and you just assume that everyone you like is terrible, purely because you like them. The amount of times I’ve felt seen and loved in the last 8 years have been few and far between. It’s a difficult thing.
you need a dog, my friend
Some people just can't be helped, I'm one of them
My own belief is we as humans think about ourselves extremely too much and it includes self criticism, if we focus on others the self hate/criticism fades. Abraham in the Torah focused on others and he was called G-Ds friend. This is not to ignore ourselves, but we do focus on ourselves too much. Think about what you’ve done or said every day, but for only 5-10 minutes.
“Criticism of others is thus an oblique form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.” ― Fulton J. Sheen
Counterpoint: Matthew 7:3
There has to be a balance.
After all the Devil lives in our brain!
And, God in our hearts!!
...It is medieval to talk about God and Devil but it helps sum up the thoughts!!
I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake my self hatred but I’m going to try with therapy. The fact that I have no friends who want to hang out with me and no intimacy is objective proof that use to fuel my self hatred.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a nice life doing things I enjoy on my own but I think I can only go so much further until I’m just done
Hi There - just checking to see if you have taken any action toward therapy or other means to address the self-hatred. You absolutely have a seat at the table my friend and there’s plenty of food to sustain and satisfy us all. Take care.
@@grabes1980 thank you so much for your kind and empathetic response. Yes, I’m about my a month into therapy and it is helping so much. I’m also practicing talking to people more and I’m actually getting better and better at it. I think good things are coming!
Our brains really are terrible.
It's a computer that actively tries to malfunction.
Our brains aren't a single neat computer. It's more like a network of computers linked together. Some are primitive and very old and have very basic inputs and outputs. Other parts of that network are more complex and modern, so they misunderstand these basic inputs and outputs. But as a network, while it relatively functions, it didn't necessarily evolve to work harmoniously together.
Then also add in that network is getting constant input from a massive amount of external networks (the world), some of which can be malicious. Malicious input can propagate through your own internal network, and it might do more damage in one part of the network than the others.
Wrong on so many levels
Our brains are not terrible. They are flawed, as is anything as complicated as them, but they are far more marvelous and impressive than they are faulty.
We disagree 😈
What IS he saying? He just goes on and on. Ugh.