Our Experience with Porn Recovery & Betrayal Trauma

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  • Опубликовано: 28 мар 2023
  • As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, we rely on Fighters like YOU to help us create resources and videos that educate countless individuals around the globe about the harms of pornography. Can you help us Fight For Love? - ftnd.org/donate
    We sat down with Alex and Candice, a couple whose marriage was brought to the brink due to Alex’s consumption of pornography.
    Over the course of five years, they struggled together as Alex tried to find recovery from what can best be described as a “porn addiction,” and Candice suffered from betrayal trauma and body image issues.
    After much pain, therapy, and setbacks, Alex is well on the road to recovery, and Candice is finding new strength in sharing their experiences with the world.
    Listen to more episodes of Consider Before Consuming at considerbeforeconsumingpodcas... or wherever you listen to podcasts.
    Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.
    To learn more about how pornography impacts individuals, relationships, and society, visit ftnd.org/.
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Комментарии • 33

  • @milliandmrt3746
    @milliandmrt3746 Год назад +44

    Nightly check-ins, us against the porn and not each other…..all things that have helped my husband and I!!!

  • @djsubliminalreeve
    @djsubliminalreeve Год назад +50

    shes a 1000% keeper and i wish my wife understood as im now sepereate and our relationship was never equal as she wouldnt even try to show me any attention in the sleightest. even before i broke up with her i went 3 months clean and it wasnt until i felt lonely now after the binge and trying to get back to God again.

    • @tinicoleofficial
      @tinicoleofficial Год назад +7

      I’m proud of you👏🏾

    • @wendigoldblum
      @wendigoldblum Год назад +7

      you got this! keep your head high, healing hurts but you’re doing an amazing job. healing is the best form of self love and self care, and you deserve good things!

    • @defender2415
      @defender2415 Год назад +6

      Discipline = Freedom. God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and discipline/self-control.

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 Год назад

      Have you looked into Affair Recovery? My husband and I are attempting reconciliation through one of their programs for his porn/sex addiction and my own sexual abuse past. It has truly been life changing for us, despite having “dealt” with this for nearly 27 years.

    • @williemonje02
      @williemonje02 Год назад +5

      Fight the drug brother

  • @wendigoldblum
    @wendigoldblum Год назад +29

    this is such a good representation of what a healthy relationship looks like, you two are awesome!

  • @pushoothers5029
    @pushoothers5029 Год назад +16

    you guys are doing the work that most of the people not even aware whats going on in this world,well thank you

  • @mairahmanzini2928
    @mairahmanzini2928 Год назад +54

    It's okay to leave a porn addict. You can't "fix" them, they have to decide to change on their own. ❤

    • @anothercat1300
      @anothercat1300 Год назад +18

      I disagree with the sentiment. Porn addicts do need to decide for themselves to change for sure. But once they do take that step they become receptive towards the help their partner ought to give them. Isolation, self esteem problems, the trauma they put themselves through, needs the attention of the other. Otherwise healing will never actually take place.
      In other words, no matter what, it's your God-given decision to leave someone who refuses to change. But if they're desperate to change, leaving them is abandoning them to their own trauma. It's leaving them to the wolves that pursue them, so to speak.

    • @AMPStorm
      @AMPStorm Год назад +5

      ​@@anothercat1300 I kinda agree with both of you.

    • @MillennialMountainMama
      @MillennialMountainMama Год назад +13

      The problem is that most people don’t really want to change, they see nothing wrong with it. Or worse, they are undercover predators. This happened to me. I married a psychopath and found out really disturbing things.

    • @thebestcat9601
      @thebestcat9601 Год назад +1

      @@MillennialMountainMamaI’m so sorry you had to go through that.

    • @thepotatoking_01
      @thepotatoking_01 10 месяцев назад

      in my opinion only if they refuse to quit themselves. otherwise if you truly love them, then you have to stay by their side and help them quit.

  • @melissaoconnell5648
    @melissaoconnell5648 Год назад +1

    It's so inspirational to hear your openness and that you were able to navigate together, being a positive role model for others in their pain and to know that there's a way to support one another. I lost an almost twenty year relationship because I couldn't see my way through for the connection and communication skills that needed further development in resilience. This week was the first time I was guided to your channel. I wish I could have found you eight years ago for the hope you put back out their for humanity. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt experience as a couple.

  • @Jackgitz23
    @Jackgitz23 Год назад +9

    Daily check-ins!! 💯 Thank you both for this insight!

  • @thebestcat9601
    @thebestcat9601 Год назад +22

    My husband has hurt me too many times. I feel bitter.

    • @justinray8107
      @justinray8107 11 месяцев назад +2

      😂it's not your fight AT ALL

    • @mauricejevans43
      @mauricejevans43 8 месяцев назад +3

      I understand your bitterness. It's not super easy. An addiction isn't something that just goes away. There are relapses. If you shame him or get angry with him, he will close you out and tackle it by himself. That would cause him to go into a cycle of trying to get out and failing. Support is much stronger than chastisement. If he doesn't want to try, then that is a different story.

  • @kennethwilsonjr.7610
    @kennethwilsonjr.7610 Год назад +4

    Such a great ministry

  • @kapzvara5732
    @kapzvara5732 7 месяцев назад

    Great video thank you for this your both an inspiration

  • @brigittechartier4072
    @brigittechartier4072 7 месяцев назад

    You are amazing, Thanks for sharing ❤❤❤❤

  • @BenOnuMuDiyorum
    @BenOnuMuDiyorum Год назад +3

    Talking everyday is huge. It normalizes and makes the person feel not alone. Most of the times even we ourselves try to push it out of our lives. However it's a path we must walk, we cannot push the path. Thanks that girl to be so supportive.

  • @RodrigoRaez
    @RodrigoRaez Год назад +4

    Who wouldn't love a woman like that?

  • @rebeckahaubertin3637
    @rebeckahaubertin3637 Год назад +9

    😊

  • @aaamandaplus3
    @aaamandaplus3 Год назад +4

    Is this the entire story??

  • @michaellevy6628
    @michaellevy6628 Год назад +9

    Wow this couple is extremely cute.
    Unfortunately I still struggle with this. I'm not in a relationship, and the porn I watch is barely considered porn for most people because it usually involves just nudity. However, I consider it porn and it's very addictive and harms me more than anything else.
    Also, I suffer from chronic illness which is aggravated because of porn and in my view porn even contributed to its onset, which to me is a proof that porn is unhealthy and it really doesn't matter if you think it's normal or not, just like coca cola is not healthy even if I feel good about drinking it.
    The amazing thing is that only in recent years I realized that I don't watch it because I "want" to watch it as much as I watch it because I need to cover up feelings of pain and emptiness.
    The fact that the secular culture normalized pornography is one of the signs of the lack of spiritual and emotional direction we experience in our times.

  • @moeak8350
    @moeak8350 5 месяцев назад

    Anyone has experience with a porn recovery coach? Is it worth?

  • @danielpruitt8550
    @danielpruitt8550 Год назад +1

    You really feel God's love with in this video, Lord please forgive me.
    Give me strength and help me flee into your arms when these attacks come my way.

  • @user-tl2jl4dz2x
    @user-tl2jl4dz2x Год назад +3

    there's really no GOOD porn out there to much spitting and close-up and no good plots camera angle close-ups where you cant see the whole girl (that's the important part, seeing the whole girl) some porn even has sub titles so if their speaking a certain language it translates with the words right in the middle of the porn How stupid they shoot porn in expensive houses with fancy cars hell if I could afford that kind of house and car I'd have no use for porn I'd be living my porn dream