DATING IN FRANCE vs USA 🇫🇷🇺🇸 | American Living in French Countryside | ps: why i'm single... part 1
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- What's up fellow CITIZENS of the WORLD!? In today's video I'm sharing the differences between dating in the States and in France based on my own personal experiences....SPOILER ALERT: The dating cultures between the two are VERY different!
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Here are the three biggest dating cultural differences I have encountered, including some unknown relationships 😅!
Dating Stages:
American = "Seeing Someone", "Dating", then "In a Relationship"
French Dating Stages= If you commit to second date, then you're basically going to stop seeing other people.
Kiss on first date:
American way = You're testing if there is a spark.
French way = It means a lot, and shows you're interested in dating them exclusively.
Asking someone out:
America = Super easy to ask someone out anywhere, even if you just met.
France = Perhaps you can exchange instagram, snap, fb....but if they don't know you, they won't be quick to give out their number, or accept the date offer. You'll have to get to know them via text/chat first....and then maybe they will accept the date.
Thanks for watching and seeya in the next one, ciao ciao for now! ✌🏽
Jordan Patrick
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2ND PART OF THE VIDEO:
skip to 6:42 for (ps: why i'm single...part 1) of a mini series.
my first, rather personal vlog about my dating life in limoges, france. i mean, it's whatevs. we all have our own standards when it comes to potential partners in crime.
i'm curious if you enjoyed this type of raw personal footage. please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
also, hit me up on insta if you have any ideas for future vids.
thanks for watching, k ciao ciao 4 now. ✌🏽
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As an American living abroad in France, I make both English videos & French videos. I talk about the american culture, french culture, lifestyle in france, english language, french language, traveling in france, traveling across europe, living in france, the french nationality, personal videos like my coming out story, dating in france, pride in france, the lgbt community, meeting french people, and overall my life in france!
Étant américain vivant en France, je fais des vidéos anglaises et des vidéos françaises. Je parle de la culture américaine, la culture française, la mode de vie en France, la langue anglaise, la langue française, voyager en France, voyager en Europe, la vie en France, des vidéos personnelles genre mon histoire étant bisexuel, étant gay, pride en France, pride en Europe, LGBT, rencontrer les gens français, et surtout ma vie en France !
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I will try to speak for my French compatriots and myself. Yes kissing someone is an important act, because although there is "the French kiss" we are above all spontaneous romantics. We like it when things are progressive and poetic. When you kiss someone, it is an important act because (unless you are drunk) it means that you really like the person. Otherwise, if the connection is not important, you don't kiss. The French are honest with love, if they kiss you, they love you. If the person doesn't kiss you, you know it's not the case.
Hey thank you man for cementing this concept for me!! I've noticed this same behavior on Love Island France because none of the contestants were kissing each other because they would only do that if they see a long term relationship coming out of it! (it's very different on Love Island UK/USA/AUS! ^^)
Love this! I need to move to France!
Do you know if this is the same for gay people in France?
@@Sean-dl8ym I far as I can tell from hanging out with Gay guys, no it's not. Gay people in France love to mess around and I can tell you gay guys are not the most patients. I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing for you though. But I think they can be more patient if they are looking for something serious. I've yet to have any friends in that phase, but I guess that's because we're still in our 20's.
Dating is the reason I’m leaving the US. The United States has developed a taste for lazy dating and promiscuity that just waste time. I don’t like kissing on strangers and going on dates with flat strangers, that for whatever reason feel entitled to sex at the end. Being in the grey area just in case someone better comes along. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
That's a really great point...you worded it quite accurately when you say grey area in case someone better comes along or people feeling entitled to end the date in bed...it's pretty sad to see in today's society. Fortunately there are people out there who feel the same way, it's just harder to find a needle in the haystack!
Same ideologies some people have come up with in Nigeria. I had to block a guy who was insistent in spending the night in my house after a date, first date. His entitlement was irritating
WOW! I LOVE THIS! I thought the dating culture was opposite. Thanks for opening my eyes. I think France is the place for me.
Ahhh great!!! Glad you learned something new about the French culture and I agree with you, I also wasn't expecting the dating life here to so different than what I was used to growing up!
So basically, their dating culture shits on ours. LOL I'm not a fan of dating multiple people or "talking" to multiple people at once. I get accused of being "old school" or "too serious" or "too picky" often...but I'm friends with people way before I date them. I'm not going on a date with a stranger. So, if I go on a date then it's with someone that I already know and I have a romantic interest in, deeper than finding the person physically attractive. It sounds like their culture lines up with that mentality way more than ours.
The only way you can make sure you’re in a committed relationship or only casually seeing each other, is communication. It can sound silly to say, but because there are not those stages you told about in the US, everything is built singularily which each person. So sure, next time, try asking about how the other person sees your relationship, or how they would see a romantic relationship going.
Hope you’ll find the one somehow (even in Limoges haha)
Thanks for your advice! I'm not sure for how long I'll stay living in Limoges for the foreseeable future, so I've stopped looking all together so if it happens by fate then cool, but otherwise, life is good!
I loved this video, to hear someone speak about the partner they are looking for, and to hear that description match me! So uplifting for a single girl looking to find the right person too😄
Thanks that's awesome reassurance that I'm not alone with those types of dating criteria! ^^
relationship is slowly built in France, you need to earn confidence, step by step. I hope you good luck and a nice life.
Thank you man! Yeah I agree that the progression is kind of all or nothing, but at the same time it's a slow progress... So it's complicated!
Jordan keep up your standards! I feel the same way! I know Spanish (native speaker), English and now French and to me that’s so important that the guy knows at least 2 out 3 . But the French guy I was seeing just knows French and he is starting to learn English. I don’t understand why people say yeah Europeans know many languages but reality is that some really don’t! From my experience french, Spaniards and Italians don’t speak another language than their own ( with some exceptions ofc) so I totally get your point .. courage et merci pour tes videos :)
Hey thanks for your comment and great to know I'm not alone with these standards of language speaking! It seems to be that in bigger cities with more tourists is where people seem to speak more languages (I lived 4 years in Paris and I always met French people who spoke decent English)...but also it depends if they travel or not because you're forced to learn a basic level of English at least. Living in Limoges has been great for me to improve my French, but not the best when it comes to dating life ^^. I'm moving to Toulouse soon, so hopefully social life will improve ! :)
@@JordanPatrick Look for someone who is an officer in either the French or German army. They will probably know english as they are integrated into NATO with English Speaking Americans.
Thank you for getting personal, honesty us refreshing even if might upset some. For men in general there has to be a physical attraction component (most of ys anyway) and there's nothing wrong with having an attraction to certain features in addition to personality, qualities and sharing the same thought process regards things that matter. Being single myself for such a long time, I have finally learned to stop yearning for a partner but rather love myself and treat myself, be comfortable woth being just by myself. Life feels a whole lot lighter.
It does, it feels a whole lot lighter
Congrats Brother! We waste too much energy searching for a situation as opposed to living our best life (sorry for the cliche! it simply worked best here) and allowing the right situation to find us! Enjoy your peace!
The thing with the Dating in France is relationship status is often assumed. There's no such thing as a "talking stage" in France like we do in the US. If y'all are kissing and holding hands, you can be sure that you are officially in a committed relationship. You sound like you're too used to the shallow superficial dating culture often seen in the States. The French are much deeper than that.
Yeah I agree the dating culture in the States is very different...it's a lot easier to go on dates in the US because it's much freer in the sense that people are more trusting of others and curious to get to know each other quicker...however, even though they are going on more dates, it's much harder for Americans to commit to a serious relationship. So it's kinda funny how more dates means less commitment, it's quite ironic! haha
@@JordanPatrick 6 of one, half dozen of the other! there are pros & cons of each style depending on personality type.
What if you aren’t kissing or holding hands just having fat chats ? Like it could lead somewhere but it hasn’t? Would that be classified as dating or not?
@@elsiemegan3979 I remember years ago, I met a French guy online. We never met in person but what started out as a friendly daily chit chat turned into deeper conversation where we got to know each other alot. Nothing was ever discussed as far as where it would lead to or what our "status" was or was going to be.... we eventually lost touch and I got into a relationship with someone later on. We found each other again online some time later and he was quite upset with me at the time and expressed how hurt and offended he was that I just "gave up on us" so easily. Apparently he had the idea that we were dating and that we'd plan to meet up one day and take it to that level. In my mind (me being american) I just thought we were casual friends and the fact that we lived thousands of miles apart and were both still in barely in college at the time, nothing serious could really come out of it. Not to mention it was never explicitly discussed between us.
So in other words, getting to know someone on a deeper personal level counts as "intimacy" to the French even when nothing physical has happened yet. This is probably due to the fact that the French are more introverted and closed off by nature so opening up to someone and talking every day is treated as a huge deal to them.
The "I want my boyfriend to be able to speak with my parents" part is so relatable! That’s why I’m only looking for American boys who knows French, and it’s not a large pool haha
Yeah us americans aren't known for speaking multiple languages... I like to think I'm a rare breed in that case 😅 HAHA
not sure if anyone gives a damn but last night I hacked my gfs Instagram password using InstaPlekt. Just google for it if you wanna try it
I'm looking for a French guy who spceaks English.......found him last August in Lyon but alas....I had to return to America and the romance faded into friendship and it slowly fizzeled into nothing. Now I'm studying in Rouen and very few speak English.. I'm only a B1 level which means I can buy things and order food...but don't speak well enough to even be friends with someone....let alone date them!
Totally get what you’re saying about finding something that speaks your language, as a French that lives in the USA, I would agree with that.
That's true! You take coffee with someone and you are "ex" xD they say, there was a "history"
It's so shocking compared to American culture where dating is much more free and relaxed until it's declared serious and exclusive!
@@JordanPatrick one day I was talking with a guy that I used to date, and he called me "ex" it was shocking xD
non c est pas ça in reality I think that we have differents culture because french we have a culture and now we have change for europeen so french have a culture and now we have change for differents culture !
You are so right, you get it! I've also done a video about this because I kept explaining to my French and my American friends how dating in the other country works! Not knowing how many exes you have sounds awkward haha.
You can do casual dating in France, but you have to be super straightforward, explicit and say it, like hey we just kissed but it doesn't mean anything. And it may seem weird to some people
Glad to hear someone else knows exactly what I'm talking about haha...when you're used to a certain way of relationship norms, it makes room for a lot of miscommunication when it comes to dating 😅. I'll be sure to check out your video to see our similarities!
First, I would love to learn and speak French. It is a beautiful language. I have memory issues which are health related. My Spanish has become rather rusty.
2. This may be anecdotal, but I have heard that people in other Euro countries are not at all resistant to learning English. The French are as you have stated. I chat with a handful of people from different Euro countries who are bilingual English. Some fluent which is defined as speaking, writing and interpreting the spoken language.
3. If one watches French films and TV, and reads French literature as I have, the dating/romance scene seems similarly American, but then that is entertainment.
Thanks for your comment! 1) I agree French is a beautiful language...even if it's a hard language with all the silent letters and similar sounding words! Knowing Spanish would help to learn French, but easy to mix things up in the beginning...I would naturally do the same when thinking directly of Spanish words when trying to respond in French. (Now it's the inverse when I try to speak Spanish, I immediately think in French first).
2) I would say that speaking English in mainland Europe depends on each individual person...if they are big travelers or have lived abroad at one point they are much more likely to speak English. If they are from a small city/village and haven't lived abroad or not used to traveling worldwide, then they may not need to speak other languages than their own...or even the interest in learning. (similar to the States...most Americans are not interested in learning foreign languages because they don't feel like they need to...and if they are traveling they assume people will understand English. A little effort goes a long way when people try to speak at least a minimum of the native language).
3) There might be some similarities when it comes to "love stories"... but dating life in general is much different as how I explained in this video :)
I can relate so much. Also stereotype about French people being so very romantic is not true. I miss talks about books and movies, walks, dining culture. Romance is good even if before one night stand.
Thanks for sharing! I'm continuing these personal videos for my "why i'm single mini series" and will release a new personal video on sunday. Are you also an expatriot living in France?
@@JordanPatrick I'm just here for a semester, thankfully
@antonmeshkov1889 great, you back home...
To be honest, I am kinda liking this side of France dating.
Just bits here and there, not every single bit, but you know, some of them.
I agree there are always positive and negative sides to all parts of life ^^
The american way seems to me more logical. And I appreciate the fact you could talk to an unknown and start a date. In my country, people are so cold and hung up that trying that would be perceived as almost an assault, in any case as harrassment.
Ah that sounds awful! Where do people meet each other to go on dates in your country? It get's much more difficult to meet single people the older you get because as a student you are surrounded by new people all the time and usually have more time to social unlike when you become a working professional!
the struggle.. ppl at Limoges do not like speaking English even if they know how to. But if you do date someone here you will still speak at least frenglish. Try going to the café des langues at O'brien every first monday of the month (although idk if they're still doing it bc of covid). Usually there's a lot of people there (all ages) from different countries trying to speak French or English, or any other language. Good luck!
Thanks! I heard about that bar and language exchange, but I think it was a late afternoon thing and it's when I'm still at work....I'll definitely look into that, thanks for the recommendation!
Omg can you imagine going in for the kiss and it's absolutely horrible.. Then the thought hits you.. Omg I'm now in a relationship with fish lips 🥺
HAHAH that would be a nightmare! I guess you'd have to teach them how to kiss after that LOL
@@JordanPatrick well I'm an American dreaming of moving to France so if he is decent looking, funny, kind and all he needs help with is kissing.. It will be a travail d'amour.. Lol not sure if there is a French equivalent to Labor of love or if I just said I love work 😂😊 Have fun on your adventures in love
@@JordanPatrick 😮 I just realized from your other videos.. if I critique his kissing and make suggestions on improving it.. Im already on my way to becoming French lol
Then you just say so. Basta. Ahah.
You have the right to be picky do not settle for Less
Thanks! I think we all have certain deal breakers and some other things that we can agree to compromise on!
Very interesting, I just come here to improve my English (I'm Spanish), I like the way you speak so I'm going to subscribe haha
PS: I also have lived in Toulouse and my feelings are kind of the same
Ah cool, most of my videos are in English so hope it can help you improve! (I love Toulouse, and I'm sure you had similar dating experiences in France! 😅)
Love this viedeo because it's not just general description of the dating, where I like its personal touch. And finding someone who is athletic, well cultured and speak english isn't that hard!! There will be someone like that. Best wishes to you :)
Personally I've always liked to hit on guys on the street/public transport. But yeah, never asked someone on a date that I just met on the street, it would be creepy. You should rather just ask their phone number/Insta/Snap, most of the time they give it to you. If the feeling isn't mutual (or if it is) it's somehow easier to text it than to say it in your face. Moreover the "building relationship/getting to know each other" can happen by text, and they will then accept a date. That's how I've always done it... with some good results ;)
HAHA in the metro you're hitting on guys? How romantic LOL! 😅 😂 ...yeah getting to know someone over text is much less stressful than in person...but when you're not much of a texter than can be a difficult task 😅
@@JordanPatrick Outside world is a playground to me :D
France is such a beautiful country
Agreed! Have you traveled a lot around France?
What was your favorite city?
@@JordanPatrick I’ve only been to Paris but next time I go I want to explore the country side
Absolutely. After catching the ferry at Newhaven, I drove to the South of France where I now live. I really thought Normandy, the Loire Valley and Ardeche were just magical. You have to get off the freeways though and get on to the small roads.
@@davidbruce7244 Hey David ! So happy to read about someone knowing Ardèche 🙂 Generally, lots of tourists or foreigners go to the same places (which are ok) but miss extraordinary places like central France and south west 🙂 I hope you are happy in your new home. Thanks for having choosing my country. It is an honour 🙂
In the states you have hookups and never see them again quickly running out of options.
I guess hookups will always be a part of life for some people...not everyone is a "hookup" types of person. This also has to do with the community in which you live in. In the bigger cities you will have many people who are looking for the same thing whether that be "serious" or "hookups".
@@JordanPatrick I'm not a hook up type either. But I've been a lot of places and it's pretty much the same everywhere they all lust after you once then you see them again and they act like they don't know who you are. It's better when you're younger as people haven't been hurt too much but that changes as you get expectations for relationships and you can't even get a 2nd date rarely if at all. Even all the cliques in the bars and the fact that you can't get anyone to do anything other than going to a bar. It's either the gym so they can troll the steam room or hot tub or the bar. The only 2 places they go. Yeah, you might think I'm over-generalizing. Get back to me when you're in your 40's and let me know how it's going.
I wish you the best and hope if it's your desire you find someone that will be willing to put a ring on it and I don't mean down there and establish a life with you.
I'm on the undesirable list. First medical problems with my tendons and well one problem leads to another.
On top of that there's not a single place in my city to even meet guys anymore. The multitude of clubs and bars are all gone not even a neighborhood bar left. And it's happening all over not just in the smaller metro areas. Price of land going up and people drinking going down and the owners of these clubs are retiring and using the land value as their retirement. The younger generation should have came in and replaced the owners but they're too busy on their internet cameras (aka phones) editing pictures that would largely leave them unrecognizable as a real person.
@@cityguyusa interesting analysis! I think everyone is different and wants different things in life. People might be looking the right or wrong places, but what you surround yourself with is ultimately where your limits lie.
In a smaller French town it's normal for there to be less options than let's say paris where there is a larger variety of different people with different interests.
LET'S DO MATH:
Even if it's only 1% of all people looking for relationships, that's = 21,480 relationship seeking parisians ...
and only = 1,336 relationship seeking people in Limoges.
You can see how population plays a big factor in the possiblities.
@@JordanPatrick This isn't Paris and I can't speak for Paris but the LGTBQ on this side of the pond can't barely function as a social group. Even the one "co-ed" gay bar we had the women sat on one side and the men on the other. But that's certainly not the only place where gay men act like they're somehow better than each other.
You have separation among the men based on who has what body. Years back people called them clones because they had nothing but their vanity. They all looked similar with their scruff and hair just so and their over masculine looks. Sure there are exceptions but they are few that's why we have all those names like otters, bears, leather/Levi, etc so we can separate ourselves from one another even to the point of not being in the same bars.
I unfortunately was educated and I found it incredibly hard to find other intellects as most couldn't even hold a job let alone a career. Any relationship I got in for the most part I had to pay the freight. I guess that made me a sugar daddy another label. Even in your video you have made a case for people that won't talk to you because they don't know you and that having a night out with a person meant you were working towards a relationship. Labels are very common and determine what groups you qualify for and which you don't. It's not really about who you surround yourself with it's who's willing to allow you into their clique. I hated cliques in high school and I hate them now but that's how gay men act. Like school girls in a clique.
I've always been a uniter and a champion for the underdog bringing people together. I found gay life a real challenge knowing who I could talk to and who was in my league and who wasn't and of course all those that would pass me over because they were going to have Marky Mark or someone equally out of their league. My friends and I used to joke about how the person I want wants someone higher on the food chain and that person has no interest in them because they too want something higher on the good chain.
A nice smile and pretty eyes would easily turn my head. I never dissed people because they didn't have a 6 pack in fact I preferred a few extra pounds, a more footballish build, but that didn't mean I would refuse to talk to someone because I thought I was better although I had people act just outright rude to me if I even tried to say hi to someone I knew. Our how about when my boyfriend and I went out together and everyone would come over and try to pick him up and not even acknowledge that he was with me. Personally I think that's why people end up in glory holes where they can at least manage to have somewhat of a sex life without having to meet a certain criteria but even that's changed with the creation of camera phones you can't even qualify for a glory hole because they want up front pictures which obviously you could give them any picture you want. Even all the "social sites" from what I hear have very few successes and often one of the parties fails to show.
If I were able to design my own world I would vote for manners and a little less obsession on sex. There are a lot of other things in this world and I'd like to share them with someone and maybe they could pay my way.
I wonder if you added up all the hours spent in the gym how much it costs for the average hook-up in gym hours then subtract that from the total hours spent in the gym to find out how much GDP or wealth we're losing because people could be making money instead of being in the gym for 4 hours a day.
@@cityguyusa
Naild it. No gay men in my city are uneducated or care to do anything better. I'm working on a degree in accounting. I'll be single and lusted after for the almighty dollar. I'm decent looking but no one wants to date me. I guess being 33 is either a fetish or a fossil.
Very brave and honest Jordan.
Thank you ! I think it's time I do a few new personal videos because it's been a while and life has changed a lot !
@@JordanPatrick I’m very curious about the day to day culture differences. I plan on doing short term visas (90 days here, 90 days there twice a year) and the more I can learn (like the cultural differences) will really help. I look forward to more of these (especially from a guys point of view).
Dating in Europe is a shit show.. they force romantic relationship and they sleep with each other within friends group. But wouldn’t make friends if they don’t know you for longtime. Weird..
I was in Toulouse, met a guy on bumble. He said, he couldn’t take me out because he doesn’t have a car. Duhhh😂. Yeah though they have best public transportation, they don’t use those to go on dates?
Ahah I've never taken a car to go on a date here in France...I always prefer to meet in a public place in case the vibe isn't good and you can always say you have to go and can go your separate ways without relying on driving each other home.
Maybe the guy you're talking about was just a prick and you're better off without him. Unfortunately these apps don't seem to have many people looking for anything serious. If that guy was serious then he would have put in the effort to meet, regardless of not having a car. You're better than that!
OMG I know what you mean on this one....but I have split feelings on the subject. I also will take my time about introducing who I'm seeing to my friends because I have learned from a previous experience that if your friends get along with that person, then if you guys break up, then you have to be prepared for them to still stick around and be apart of the group. I wanted them gone, and was felt back-stabbed when my friends kept inviting that person to things after I made it clear I didn't wanna see them and it was hard for me. News flash, it's 6 years later and they are still hanging out with my friends. Hence, I won't bring another date around until it's legit serious.
On the other side, I also find it really weird how there are always ex's in friends' groups. Makes it hard to trust a new love interest when they are always hanging out with their ex. Is that how you felt too?
Jordan Patrick Absolutely. In my case it was my mom. After my ex and I broke up after 4 yrs of dating, he was secretly still hanging around my mom, helping her around the house etc.. I came over one day and he was in the living room. I almost had heart attack😂 but I wasn’t surprise... Later on my mom explain to me he was hanging around hoping we will get back together-this was 6 months into the break-up... nice guy at the beginning of our relationship but he did something unforgettable so I didn’t want him part of my life but he was forgiven. We all just needed to move on.
With my friends, once I am no longer we someone, they break up with the person too. No questions ask and we don’t date within our friends group. I am lucky there I guess. Thanks for the chat, if am ever in France, I will send you a msg.
Cheers,
I think dating culture anywhere is more about the individual/region/social group and can't be generalized by a country. What you describe as a US dating experience has been the contrary to mine. I don't kiss someone unless I am already very close to them, otherwise it's unnatural to me, I've also never dated multiple people at a time and never dated someone who was dating someone other than myself. I personally prefer more serious dating as opposed to casual dating as well. My experience seems to be the average for the region I live in (more rural) and to the social group I gravitate toward, but I have heard your experience is very common in cities and more urban areas of the US. Anyway, just an observation!
What are the best months to visit France?
I’m Iberian Mexican my Spanish is perfect but now I want to learn French.. I guess the best way to learn it is to live there.
I would say the best time to visit is the end of spring/beginning of summer! The longest days of the year are in June, so that's always a great time so you can take advantage of the greenery, blossoms, and the sun stays up until 11pm!
You'll be able to visit sites all day long :)
It's good that you speak Spanish, because the latin base will help you with grammar for sure ^^
Have you met some "persons" depuis cette vidéo ? C'est la question qu'on se pose....pas obligé de répondre ! :-)
LOL en 2020/2021 ??? .....nonnn je n'ai rencontré quasiment personne ! hahahah
@@JordanPatrick Chaque chose en son temps....en français on dit : chaque pot a son couvercle :-)
Il faut déménager à Lille dans le 59-Nord. Les gens sont ouverts et chaleureux. C’est une grande ville très accueillante 😉. Rencontres assurées. Il faut reconnaître que notre anglais est très mauvais. Le système éducatif français est nul pour faire apprendre les langues étrangères... rien ne vaut apprendre avec une personne native du pays en question.
@@gaellebeaufils4297 Il connaît Lille, je lui ai déjà posé la question :-). J'y habite, voilà pourquoi. Le niveau d'anglais dépend beaucoup des profs sans doute. Personnellement j'ai adoré et j'aime beaucoup pratiquer même si je dois certainement faire quelques erreurs ! Et j'avoue que le fait d'aller souvent aux USA où j'ai de la famille et des amis, ça me permet d'entretenir.....
@@leseize26 moi aussi j’y habite... oui ça dépend des profs j’en ai eu de très bons comme des médiocres... mais j’ai une mauvaise oreille n’ayant pas fait assez d’oral et de conversation ...
You really nailed it on the head with this subject. The whole video, I was thinking, “Yes, yup, exactly... etc.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks for your comment and relating on view points about dating in France vs the US ^^ ...Glad you enjoyed it! Are you also living abroad in France?
@@JordanPatrick For sure! I’ve enjoyed a lot of your videos and takes on the French Culture! Yeah, I moved to Marseille from NC in 2012 to finish my studies and also never left.
When my wife and I started dating, she considered us to be exclusive after only our second date (The kisses at the end of the date sealed the deal in her mind) 😂. I only found out that we were officially exclusive two or three weeks after the fact 🤪
This video surely would have helped me better understand some of these key differences ahead of time! Thanks again
In the states everyone is so terrified of having their sexual appetite stiffeled. As if they have so many options.
It depends on where in the states you're living... if it's a smaller town things will be much different than in a bigger city!
@@JordanPatrick Sure if you live in one of the 6 metro areas NYC, LA, SF, Dallas, Atlanta or Miami but clubs are disappearing in every metro area Baltimore, DC, Philadelphia and all over the North East.
Us older guys have been watching this happen for some time it's not the typical relocation with one closing and another opening. That leaves social media which is really becoming the new way to meet but there typically not dates but sexual encounters often with someone trying to remain anonymous. You know door open, butt up walk in and do your thing my head is covered.
Then there's the prostitution where you're paying for virtual connections. It seems that large swaths of the LGBTQ population is hoping to make it big in porn or getting people to pay them while they perform with someone or even solo. It doesn't leave a whole lot of options no matter where you are.
Cat fishing along with people just not showing up after agreeing to well it gets tiresome and that will make it harder to find a willing partner.
Granted everything in smaller cities will be smaller if existent at all. In our so-called metro area at one time we had 9 or so bars within 30 minutes I think there are now 3, 1 club, 1 Country Western and 1 small bar with a tiny dance floor and I'm not even sure that last one is even still open.
My observation is that unfortunately social status is very important for dating in France. There are always exceptions, but in general you'll probably find people who meet your criteria among the people who went through a business or engineering school. So a good way to meet potential dates is by connecting to your social cercle. Overwise, a lot of unpleasant surprises would wait for you.
I remember my worst date. A nice guy that I met in a nightclub. We chatted for a few days and then went on a "formal date" with a dinner. This is where I found out that the guy was an activist of Front National 😅 Me being an immigrant didn't bother him though 😅
Haha hmm...I think you're talking about a certain type of person. You can't categorize "France" in this assumption 😅. It sounds like the type of people you're talking about are "Parisian Elites"...and yes they will judge people based on social status and stick to their own groups (most likely hanging out at some bougie parties and whatnot). That's NOT my scene personally, and I wouldn't call it a normal issue for French people in general. That's an elite dating problem, and most people wouldn't relate lol. I'm curious which nightclub you were at?
@@JordanPatrick I had the same kind of experience all around France. If you want someone to be intelligent, bilingual, athletic and be pationate about something... I rarely saw this type of people outside of the social cercle I described. I tried dating people with other backgrounds, but the expectations never matched.
And "elite" is one level above, to my opinion 😅 I have some experience interacting with French nobles and elite engineers. It's a very closed world with its rules. And not particularly attractive for me 😅
The nightclub was le Tango 🙂 One of the rare clubs in Paris where you can come "as you are" and just spend some good time without caring about anything, to my experience.
@@JordanPatrick That's also my experience. I find the French cliquey where I am, but they help each other. And there is a mix of people of all levels of education and wealth. I find once you are accepted in the clique you have friends for life, but there are a lot of obligations that go with it.
@@arthurbossuet3977 An activist from The Front national at the Tango ??? 😵💫 OMG… I can't understand how one can be gay and a support of a far right party. This is crazy.
Well, dear Arthur, I am really sorry you experienced such bad people in France 😞 Tu es français ?
Do French women toss salads? You should cover this important topic.
Haha OMG this is a PG rated channel LOL
@@JordanPatrick Not any more! Jordi going to fix it for ya!
Maybe we should meet up next time I'm in limoges ;) haha i enjoyed your video thanks!
Hellooo !! Sure why not if I'm still here! I'm moving at the end of August!
What the heck is casual seeing each other? You either seeing each other or not! I’ll go for black or white. The grey area leaves the opportunity to be played and bunch of games.
Yeah I understand where you're coming from! That's why it's so important in the States to communicate and when you're dating someone people will always ask "Where are we in the relationship?" or "Where do you see this relationship going?" ...these are common questions to define the relationship to see you two are on the same page!
Imagine its like going shopping for a new dress. You browse around and try the things that you think you might like. but dresses that look nice on the hanger dont always fit right, feel right or look good on you. I think this is an apt analogy for casual dating. unfortunately too many people equate 'casual sex' with casual dating too, so that muddies the water even more!
Yeah, I agree with most of it but you're missing some stuff too... I'm a french girl and yes "seing" several people at once would make me feel guilty. But I don't think anything is cemented after a kiss. It's really all about what kind of relationship you are looking for and generally we decide and discuss that _before_ seing each other, not while seing someone. If you're both on the same page and are both looking for a serious relationship, then yes, kissing is meaningful. If you're seing someone and don't want anything serious, generally you both agree on it, and then kissing or having sex is really not a comitment. I think the girls you are talking about don't all think of you as their ex. Some might if they believed you were looking for something serious. If you didn't made it clear from the beginning then I suppose they projected their intentions on you, so the ones who wanted something serious will think of you as an ex, (if it lasted more than a week of course) and the other won't.
I'm not talking in the name of all French women, that's just my insight
Thank you! Yes that's a great observation! It's important to be up front about what you'll looking for when going on a date and if you're both on the same page then there shouldn't be any misunderstandings :)
"Society where they get by just speaking French???" Like bruh you're living on their land. You're getting by just speaking your version of French. Not the other way around. RUDE!!!!
I followed up with that by saying that's totally fine and understandable! ^^ it's just not something I look for in serious relationship when I'd like them to eventually meet my family or travel, tu vois ? I've covered my end because I'm fluent in French since being here the last 8 years, and I'm not asking for fluency in English, but rather be able to hold a conversation if that makes sense? :)
@@JordanPatrick no sir. It doesn't. You needed to learn because you moved there. They don't "get by" without not having to speak English. They need not have to hold a conversation and you were not talking about your future gf but general public when you said that. compris???
@@yazhinim To comprends pas! tu doit d'apprend parler en anglais courament!
I go threw the same shit living in Greece.
I would say dating is one of the hardest cultures to adjust to when moving abroad. It takes times to get used to the norms in the adopted society and learn about what is acceptable, respectable, and expected! ^^ Are you enjoying life in Greece?
Je découvre ta chaîne 😁
I hope you found love while you were there. I’m not sure where you got this low view point of French women but I hope you found a girl that changed your perspective.
Something I couldn’t help but giggle at was your comment “I want someone I can travel the world with but I don’t have to explain what everything is”. It was silly to me because from what I understand, the French are very big on culture and they generally are more educated by their school system (in general) than in the US. Most of them speak English, as it is also the universal language and is typically how they communicate with neighboring countries when they don’t speak their language. There are a lot of polylingual people in France for that reason.
Even those who won’t speak English will have a solid foundation of the English Language because they’re forced to learn it in school but are too embarrassed to speak it. I know it’s hard to meet people there and I’m sure you’re a great guy, you just come off very … full of yourself-for lack of a better word. I hope you had fun though. How fun you got to live there!
hi what are you up to in limoges? what kind of jobs are there for expats?
Hey there thanks for you question! I found my position as a logistics analyst for a wood distribution company right when I finished my studies in Paris. I lucked out because my student visa was still valid in the time that I started working and was able to change my visa from student to working. If you're looking to move directly for work, I've actually heard recently of a program that helps find expat professionals to work in France. Here's the website if you want to check it out!: www.misterbilingue.com
Yes, definitely get personal,
From the USA. Iheard that if you ask a girl on a date in Frnace that the guy expects her to pay for half the meal if you go out to dinner. Is that the French custom?
Dating actually sucks in France
haha it's definitely different and harder to ask people out...but once you start dating I think it's easier to maintain and quicker to commit! I'm still struggling to admit in this case haha
I am American and the way Americans view dating is bad morals.
Definitely a cultural thing yeah!
@@JordanPatrick Raised with bad morals thing.
Why do I slightly pick up a french accent from you hahah
HAHAH it wouldn't be the first time I've heard that ^^ ...normally I don't hear it myself, but that's what my friends tell me in my hometown whenever I visit my family in California
it s depend if you are talKing about french our about europeen ?
I don't want to group all European countries together, there are a lot of cultures that might be different...or maybe most of them are similar to how they date here in France! If I move somewhere else, I'll be able to give more insight about differences between France and other European countries when I have experience living in more countries! :)
I must be in the wrong country then. I'm in Canada, and if I kiss a guy, or date a guy, I assume he's not seeing anyone else at the same time.
I'm just laughing at the ps XD
LOL what can I say ^^
Can you please say what do you do for a living, if it's not a secret?
I also have another question: Is it easier to date french girls as an american guys. I mean do american guys have advantage over locals or other expats?
And the last one: Do you struggle finding a woman who meets all the criteries or do you end up lowering your standards?
Ahh tu dois déménager à Paris then.. 🤣😂
Sha Othman j’habitais à paris pendant 4 ans déjà et c’est vrai qu’il y a plus de gens internationaux et cultivés...mais en même temps c’est trop facile de tromper qquun ou rencontrer des personnes nouvelles que c’était difficile pour moi de devenir proche proche ou sérieux avec qquun d’autre 😅🤷🏽♂️
Think France is like the UK also. I had know ideal you could be so casual in the states and still kiss .... Unless of course it's a no strings attached relationship which people state upfront
Yes it sucks in France....
I wouldn't say it sucks in France, but it's definitely different! Good to know the differences between the two cultures when it comes to dating!
Why couldn't you Just ask them out as friends first for common interest? Otherwise it is purely sexual
Yes that's a great point! Instead of asking someone out on an official date, it's acceptable to say like "hey, I saw an ad for this exposition going on at (insert museum)...would you be interesting in going with me?". That would be an awesome way to get to know someone before meeting in the evening for a dinner date!
I agree, it's really difficult to date, but if I believe all the american culture that's flowing over the world, it's true everywhere (sex and the city for exemple, they date and have sex, but they're unsatisfied and looking for ''the one'' ). I've come to realize that the american culture of the guy that wants to date multiple partners and have a great fear of commitment, and try to escape the girls trying to rope him is really toxic and invasive to other cultures. So it's a difficult exercise for everyone to find someone to date but it's even worse when you just want to find someone to love, not just dating for the sake of passing time or have a hook-up for the night. And when you're older and less attractive (according to media and that culture of appearance only), it's even harder. If you have standards on top of all that, you just drop it. I think it a bit ironic that an american has difficulties finding someone willing to learn english, when american are well known to be proud of not needing to learn other languages. But, as a French woman enjoying English, I have difficulties finding people to talk to, and as I said, I dropped off the dating game, it's only to talk and practice, and even that is hard to find 😁. But you're young and good looking so I think you'll find someone.
Thanks for your comment! I agree with everything you said and wow, you're English is so good! (I thought you were a native English speaker until you mentioned you were French! That's so cool to see ^^). I agree that media has made it exceptionally difficult to date in today's society, because of expectations we are programmed to believe are natural and real (for some people it is, but for others it gets harder and harder to make connections). I think it's important to have standards, but if someone doesn't have a quality you are looking for, the next step would be to see if they have the desire to grow for themselves (like learning a new language which is difficult, but rewarding for both people!). For me I've spent years learning and improving my French, and I hope my future companion would want to learn English for future travels or speaking with my parents...it's a form of meeting eachother in the middle, halfway, 50/50. The same would go if I met someone who was German or Spanish. I would want to learn their language so I could meet them halfway and not expect them to always conform to me..that wouldn't be fair! I'm happy to hear you have similar beliefs on that subject ^^, thanks for watching and sharing!
@@JordanPatrick thanks a lot, I love English, but you feel my English is good because you didn't hear me try to speak 🤣. My parents were speaking English when they didn't want us (I have 2 sisters) to understand what they were saying : that's a cool motivation to learn 😁. And then, my 4 first years learn english at school, I had a great teacher who reinforced that love. High school (the french equivalent of it) was disappointing in this regard, but shortly after high school, Harry Potter was published, so I had a new, great incentive to read in English 😉
I couldnt disagree with you more! Women in America have ALL the choices because they are women! Women control access to dating and sex. so women in america are just as prone to want to date around or sleep around, because it is easy & fun for them to do! The only men who are afraid of commitment are the men with the MOST choices in women! Since they have an abundance of choice & get what they want as soon as they request it, there is NO need to commit to one! average men, the ones most women dislike are always willing to commit! It is a running joke in many places in the US where men are socially permitted to complain about women! Patrick is either being VERY kind and indulgent or he lives in a cloister in the woods and is less familiar with standard urban culture! LOL
You should move to a bigger city like Paris or Lyon.
Yeah that's true.. I was living in Paris for 4 years and I loved it there... But I moved to Limoges for work and waiting for the response for nationality before looking for new work opportunities in Toulouse or Paris!
@@JordanPatrick Forget Paris -> Toulouse ♥️
@@JordanPatrick Je suis parisien, j'adore Paris, mais je dois avouer que Toulouse est une ville magnifique, et la région est superbe ! Et l'art de vivre dans le sud-ouest est vraiment super 🙂
I like your life and your video so much🙂👍💚
HI! Thanks! I love the differences in culture between the US and France :)
J’aimerais bien t’inviter à venir au Québec. La plupart d’entre nous sommes parfaitement bilingues et même trilingues!!! Et c’est extrêmement facile de « dater » quelqu’un…
Très bien alors ! Je suis allé à Montréal en 2019 et c'était incroyable, j'en ai adoré !
FRENCH MENTALITIE OR EUROPEEN ?
I've only lived in the US and France so I'm comparing the two countries I know and my experiences dating in both! ^^ It wouldn't be good for me to compare US and Europe, because I don't have experience living in multiple European countries so it might be different in other places :)
but why multiple french prime ministers were unmarrier with kids
Whom are you talking about ?
I don't imagine that many men in France say no to you Jordan.
In part 2 or 3 I talk about how my downfall is "the chase" LOL it's a real problem ^^
Why are you speaking about men ? Jordan is speaking about his relationship women, isn't he ? Did I get something wrong ? lol
FRENCH HAVE A MENTALITIE AND ENGLISH HAVE ANOTHER MENTALITIE AND ITALIAN HAVE ANOTHER ETC ETC !!!!!!
Yes I assume each culture will have their own way of dating formalities. It can also depend on big city life vs rural life. ^^
you will be better off with a latina lol... Great video thank you!
Haha I do have a thing for for Spanish speakers and tanned skin with a hint of salsa dancing ;)
It's real ?
Yes tout à fait ! Absolutely!
Talking in both the languages understandably well,
Love to travel/backpack
Follow the american way of dating
Be sane and not a clingy psychopath
.
.
These are too much to ask for in here !
I have used the dating apps for over couple of years, in France and all lead to disappointment !
I can't agree more with you on this..
Thanks for the video ! We share similar thoughts ! ✌🏼
Ah thanks for your comment :)! Dating apps can be a great way to meet people quickly...but don't always lead to a happy story ending and it makes it easy for people to move on quickly after a break up. (can be a good or bad thing 😅 ... It's tough meeting new people when you're no longer a student!
American 🇺🇸🫶♥️
Did you drink too much coffee !! You keep shaking !!! Headaches
haha probably! I probably needed a stablizer for this video ^^
@@JordanPatrick but I like your video !! Keep safe ok and be happy 😆
8:09 is very weird to hear from an american :D
I totally agree! In the States it's not common for people to put in effort to learn a foreign language, and when it comes to dating life it's something I'm looking for! Someone who speaks English as a second language is huge for me in France! :) I speak French but I would like the relationship to be a real partnership 50/50!
They
Yes! I'm not sure if you're a native English speaker, but in case you're not, here's a little English lesson in case you'd like to know. We can use "they" in English to refer to a single person in a general sense without giving them a personal pronoun. It's a shame we can't really do this in latin languages because of grammatical reasons. (Example: I had brunch with a friend yesterday. They ordered so much food, but I just got a coffee because I wasn't hungry). Hope that helped understand the use of "they" in a general sense!
ummmm then don't date in France? hahahah also, people can learn a language
haha trust me I've wanted to teach some people English...but they didn't care to learn at all 😅
Whoa, your kind of shallow to require someone who's also athletic!
It's something I look for in a partner :). It'd be nice to meet someone who likes to do physical activities like sports, gym, hikes etc. I don't feel it's such a shallow thing to look for...
@@JordanPatrick You are NOT shallow, Witch please is! Only women think they are allowed to have standards! No one else can have a standard lest they be shallow! But women have pie in the sky standards! avoiding american women is a good career move!