I feel like you know you’re being gaslit when someone responds to you and you completely understand everything they’ve said, but you still feel confused
"You get to feel what you feel!" Oh. And that makes it true? Because . . . all of our memories are accurate? They aren't. Because our "version" of events is always valid? It isn't. Because we should always trust our feelings? A bad idea, one of the worst. Feelings aren't reliable, feelings aren't evidence. Is it possible that "gaslighting" is the dictionary word of the year because it's the most overused self-indulgent word of the year, the latest all-purpose self-coddling alibi for ducking responsibility whenever you don't feel like being challenged or offended? End of day, conversation is all we have, and dialogue, to be honest, must risk giving offense, must risk casting doubt on everybody's version of everything. Actual gaslighting, as portrayed in the 1944 movie, is deliberate calculated manipulation with criminal intent. How do you know if you've been gaslit? Your jewels are missing.
Ha! Love this! I agree that a lot of people are mistaking gaslighting for being simply questioned about their position. But a lot people are getting manipulated too. The trick is to be open to real feedback without being fragile while also being clear on what is acceptable behavior in an argument.
@@ThisisBronwyn Unless an actual crime is at play, to be clear re: "acceptable behavior" in an argument is only possible in a totalitarian dystopia that outlaws argument altogether. It can't be legislated because argument, its boundaries constantly shifting, is inherently messy, and, to some extent, manipulative and transactional. Those rules we have, it seems, inevitably exist to be broken, as in debates or courtrooms, where winning counts for more than courtesy or correctness. Vigilant awareness is the only defense, calling for courage not coddling. This trigger-happy gaslighting craze, like the fragile cancel-culture it exemplifies, is dangerous because it encourages avoidance of hard conversations, divides the world between oppressors and victims, and, at bottom, exposes a wish to be un-free.
@@issadad have you listened to Tim Ferris’s latest podcast on intellectual fragility? I think you’d like it because it is all about training ourselves to be intellectually resilient. That said, gaslighting is a very real tactic. I hear what you’re saying and I agree on many cases. But many times verbal and psychological manipulation is at play and it is abusive and dangerous.
@@ThisisBronwyn I asked my teenage daughter if people have the right not to be offended. Yes, absolutely! she said, a belief shared by her closest peers. Probably wiser to let it go, because my challenge was angrily called out as gaslighting -- a bewildering charge since my intentions were anything but sinister. But bewilderment, I soon learned from RUclips tutorials like yours, is a dead giveaway (#1 on most Top Ten lists) that you're being gaslighted, and intentions are beside the point. What you hear is what matters, how things land with you. Do you feel attacked? Denied? Invalidated? As if your sanity was in doubt, your very existence at risk? Those are the markers, that's how you'll know. Really? That's the problem with runaway wokeism: this tyranny of the subjective that's surrounding a fragile generation with eggshells -- and costing too many people, summarily canceled, too much over too little. A problem because I want my daughter to actually BE safe. Not safe from feeling upset or offended or being made to doubt herself -- all necessary ways of being tested by life. Not safe from the endless screw-ups of human communication, which seem, unavoidably, to come with the territory. I'd rather she be safe from actual criminals who commit actual crimes: violence, rape, abuse (as defined by DHHS), every kind of fraud, theft and con. Top Ten Differences Between Criminal Gaslighting and Parents, Friends & Teachers Who Piss You Off & Make You Feel Bad. Let's see that RUclips tutorial.
@@ThisisBronwyn Do you mean Tim Ferris's podcast with Jonathan Haidt as his guest? If so, I'm a long-time follower of Haidt, almost a disciple. You can hear his last book, The Coddling of the American Mind, in my comments.
I feel like you know you’re being gaslit when someone responds to you and you completely understand everything they’ve said, but you still feel confused
Bravaaaa! Such a great definition!
I'm dedicating my day and night to all videos, I just encountered a lion in my path, 😔
Thank you, thank you!
You are so amazing ❤❤🤗
"You get to feel what you feel!" Oh. And that makes it true? Because . . . all of our memories are accurate? They aren't. Because our "version" of events is always valid? It isn't. Because we should always trust our feelings? A bad idea, one of the worst. Feelings aren't reliable, feelings aren't evidence. Is it possible that "gaslighting" is the dictionary word of the year because it's the most overused self-indulgent word of the year, the latest all-purpose self-coddling alibi for ducking responsibility whenever you don't feel like being challenged or offended? End of day, conversation is all we have, and dialogue, to be honest, must risk giving offense, must risk casting doubt on everybody's version of everything. Actual gaslighting, as portrayed in the 1944 movie, is deliberate calculated manipulation with criminal intent. How do you know if you've been gaslit? Your jewels are missing.
Ha! Love this! I agree that a lot of people are mistaking gaslighting for being simply questioned about their position. But a lot people are getting manipulated too. The trick is to be open to real feedback without being fragile while also being clear on what is acceptable behavior in an argument.
@@ThisisBronwyn Unless an actual crime is at play, to be clear re: "acceptable behavior" in an argument is only possible in a totalitarian dystopia that outlaws argument altogether. It can't be legislated because argument, its boundaries constantly shifting, is inherently messy, and, to some extent, manipulative and transactional. Those rules we have, it seems, inevitably exist to be broken, as in debates or courtrooms, where winning counts for more than courtesy or correctness. Vigilant awareness is the only defense, calling for courage not coddling. This trigger-happy gaslighting craze, like the fragile cancel-culture it exemplifies, is dangerous because it encourages avoidance of hard conversations, divides the world between oppressors and victims, and, at bottom, exposes a wish to be un-free.
@@issadad have you listened to Tim Ferris’s latest podcast on intellectual fragility? I think you’d like it because it is all about training ourselves to be intellectually resilient. That said, gaslighting is a very real tactic. I hear what you’re saying and I agree on many cases. But many times verbal and psychological manipulation is at play and it is abusive and dangerous.
@@ThisisBronwyn I asked my teenage daughter if people have the right not to be offended. Yes, absolutely! she said, a belief shared by her closest peers. Probably wiser to let it go, because my challenge was angrily called out as gaslighting -- a bewildering charge since my intentions were anything but sinister. But bewilderment, I soon learned from RUclips tutorials like yours, is a dead giveaway (#1 on most Top Ten lists) that you're being gaslighted, and intentions are beside the point. What you hear is what matters, how things land with you. Do you feel attacked? Denied? Invalidated? As if your sanity was in doubt, your very existence at risk? Those are the markers, that's how you'll know. Really?
That's the problem with runaway wokeism: this tyranny of the subjective that's surrounding a fragile generation with eggshells -- and costing too many people, summarily canceled, too much over too little. A problem because I want my daughter to actually BE safe. Not safe from feeling upset or offended or being made to doubt herself -- all necessary ways of being tested by life. Not safe from the endless screw-ups of human communication, which seem, unavoidably, to come with the territory. I'd rather she be safe from actual criminals who commit actual crimes: violence, rape, abuse (as defined by DHHS), every kind of fraud, theft and con. Top Ten Differences Between Criminal Gaslighting and Parents, Friends & Teachers Who Piss You Off & Make You Feel Bad. Let's see that RUclips tutorial.
@@ThisisBronwyn Do you mean Tim Ferris's podcast with Jonathan Haidt as his guest? If so, I'm a long-time follower of Haidt, almost a disciple. You can hear his last book, The Coddling of the American Mind, in my comments.