Theo, I am a 25 year old trans guy who only came out a few years ago in 2020! I spent the whole year by myself like so many people. At first I was unraveling from not wanting to spend time alone with myself, but then when no one was around, I was able to be as masculine as I wanted to be, and I learned how to love myself. A part of this was exploring my gender so late in life, it felt like I was finally reading between the lines of my self deprecation and my low self esteem. Like i finally had the courage to decode my shame, and then I found your channel. It’s a bit embarrassing but also extremely beautiful how you could teach someone like me so much about myself and my experiences, just from talking about all the ways you explored your gender and your own journey on Testosterone. I feel like I was a coward a bit before I saw your channel, and then when I started watching, you showed me the truth of everything, and 100% because I saw your channel I started taking T myself. I have found so much happiness because of you, and because I’ve finally started my path as a trans masculine adult. (Though I know that path is different for every trans person, T was something I needed to feel like I was really moving forward.) Thank you for everything, for all the insight into your trans experiences, for all the laughs, warmth you’ve given us, and courage you’ve given me. Happy one year, you’ve become an incredible and handsome guy and I hope in your journey you continue to find more and more to celebrate about yourself along the way, as long as you live.
If this doesn’t end up surpassing 100K+ views, I will fucking riot until it does. This video is nothing short of a masterpiece, and people from all walks of life would benefit from watching this and truly taking in your words, experiences and information. This was well worth the time taken to watch it and I would watch this a million times over honestly. A huge congrats to your first year on T, I’m so happy for and proud of you for being able to make it to this point. I hope things only continue to improve from here ❤️
@@TheosGhost thank you I find your videos about T really helpful and educational and I love your other stuff as well very entertaining and thanks for doing what you do and also your one of my favorite youtubers :)
@@TheosGhost about the weight thing it's completely normal to lose weight, as a born man I've seen tons of skinny boys who are like 5'8 and weight 130 and seemingly skinny girls who are like 5'3 that weight 140 or more I think women naturally have more body fat and Testosterone caused you to lose a lot of that and since you're not really working out you're not gonna gain weight but lose babyfat.
Congratulations for being on T for one full year! I remember when you released your video of when you first started it, I can't believe it's already been a year. Hope your transition continues on going well!
thank you so much for the euphoria section at the end. hearing you say how you felt about hating your transness before you transitioned and how it changed once you felt all that euphoria of transitioning really gave me so much hope that one day i wont feel like being trans is a curse and a punishment, because so often i’ve thought of my life as a cruel awful punishment and that i’d never be happy because no matter what, i’d never be cis. your feelings about dysphoria before you transitioned are so similar to mine now and the last section of the video genuinely gave me the will to live and continue and keep fighting for my happiness in myself. to know that even if i will never be cis, one day i will be happy is amazing and im so glad i watched the whole video. know you might as well have saved the life of a fellow trans brother.
literally i used to feel the EXACT same way with feeling like transness is a punishment but i promise you its not!!! glad my video was able to help you bro
something similar with feeling like being trans is a punishment, I punished myself for feeling trans feelings by making myself stare into the mirror at parts I was very dysphoric about until I cried. I'm not out yet, but I can't wait for the day I can go through transitioning and finally be comftorable being myself. Being trans is a struggle sometimes, but it's certainly not a punishment. A way you can think about it too is that everyone has an obstacle to overcome, and the obstacle for people who are trans is dysphoria.
after i started this job at a gas station i started having a lot of (presumably cis) men acting all buddy buddy with me and bro'ing me and giving me fistbumps and shit and there was this feeling inside that i absolutely despised it but couldny figure out why beacause i pass shouldnt i be happy about that ?? ? so ty for putting it into words how annoying it is to deal with cis men even/especially after beginning to pass, and it makes me glad to know that at least someone gets how it feels because obviously the vast majority of people don't
Congrats Theo! Haven't seen the video yet but just wanna say it's so cool that you're more comfortable now and that you have a support network around you, every trans person deserves this basic level of care and I hope one day it's the standard for us Edit: Holy shit dude that section about euphoria made me feel genuinely proud to be queer, I don't feel that often as I'm so uncomfortable in my own body due to dysphoria and not having any treatment yet but damn what you said really made me feel like I've done well to still even be here. Faced a lot of stuff in life due to being trans, I don't think many cishet people can ever know the pain of being told you're something that you know you're not and being forced to live a life you know isn't true, it's like living in the Truman show or something where your whole life feels fake until you're able to come out and be accepted. Great video man
the part where you talk about social dysphoria is very important i think. only trans people and maybe even not all trans people understand that. im so happy you mentioned how you can tell if someone “actually sees you as the gender you are or if they’ve just memorized your pronouns enough to not offend you.” this is very important. thank you again theo for sharing your feelings like this. :)
i feel like poc cis women feel social dysphoria aswell as people often see us as masculine. as a middle eastern girl i had more leg hair at 14 years old than my 30 year old white cis man sports teacher in sports class. and my classmates would not see my femininity because of western/european beauty standards.
Theo! I have been subscribed to your channel ever since i watched your first testosterone update and i think your content genuinely changed something in my brain. I am a 15 year old trans boy, i found out i'm trans around 3 years ago and i've been out to some of my friends for a year and a half. i pass maybe 50% of the time. i admire you for choosing to document your journey in how it really is like for you. the dysphoria part of your video genuinely made me tear up from how real it is. i think you're genuinely one of if not the best channel on youtube that makes trans-related content, at least in my opinion. you're voicing some things that are kind of unspoken in the community, so thank you for this. i'm finding myself just staring blankly at this comment, not really knowing what to write, so i just wanna express my graditude. thank you. i hope your transition goes well :)
Hey besties I haven’t ever taken T (but I want so bad) and I’m not even out to pretty much anyone besides my partner and a few close friends but watching this has made me cry so so much and just feel so hopeful and happy which is crazy for me tbh. The whole lonely existence being queer is so true and after this I feel really valid and seen. Just thank you for sharing this video and everything you’ve said and done.. I wasn’t feeling the best before watching it and now I’m actually feeling like it’s possible and I’ll be okay 💪
I'm 8 months on t, so a little behind you but I feel exactly the same as you. It's not relieving bc I still feel like shit about transition, but comforting knowing that I'm not the only one who has had a non linear experience with relation to gender affirmation from transition. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
It's nice to see other trans people thriving and living their best lives to the best of their ability . With everything going on now, these videos give me hope.
I feel like this video made me understand myself so much better. like I am transmasc but I hate being called he/him because I know I don't pass and that people either memorise my pronoun or straight up misgender me because I don't look like it. thanks for also sharing negative or disappointing sides of transition, I often feel like im not grateful enough for being able to be on testosterone when I feel disappointed in the lack of changes (even tho its only been two months for me)
You seriously make me laugh at moments. I love how you articulate your sense of self and your experience. Really nice touch wearing the same shirt from your day 1 on T vid. Not sure it was intentional but you seem like one to have that kind of attention to detail to mark the beginning of a new chapter. Looking forward to hearing about your second year on T as it unfolds.
This is awesome, thank you! You're really good at explaining, sometimes my brain kind of struggles to digest information, but this just *worked*, I don't know how to explain it, but thank you. Wherever your journey goes, I hope it'll be a good one!
Congrats on 1 year! The big spike in your measurements at 6 months could be because when you go on testosterone you gain a looot of water weight. It goes away eventually, but you just kinda get a bit larger for a bit. Plus you're literally going through puberty again your body gets a lil quirky while it's trying to sort that out
It's normal to put on weight and loose it when you begin T, it's water retention 😝 Depending on genetics, most tend to bloat on the first year. I went from 74 to a whopping 86 kg the first year, then the water went away and now (4 years in), I'm 78 kg and it's stable. Just the added muscle weight remained. Funny thing is fat redistribution, what was on my thighs migrated to my belly, and I dropped 2 pants sizes. I did have to buy new shoes though, my feet grew in width. Velcro ass hair 😂! Yup! Annoying but fun! Don't worry too much if the changes take place slowly, me too I only had the voice at 1 year, and still was misgendered! But then my Adam's apple became very visible at year 2, and I lost my saddlebags along the 3rd year, and now I have a semi-decent goatee and nobody calls me miss anymore 😊! Lovely video Theo, I love your humour!
Thank you for sharing that! I knew T could make you look bloated but I didn't quite realise it would be SO much weight fluctuation, so it is comforting to hear you going through a similar thing :)
since you mentioned you have ezcema heres some products that should work without irritating your skin -any sensitive skin body wash, like dove or aveeno -a homemade sugar scrub of white sugar and almond oil -plain unscented lotion/cream, the cerave ones are very good -rose hip oil and/or the hylarounic acid serum, both by the inkey list (so the order would be body wash, sugar scrub, serum, lotion/cream, and oil) hope this helps :)
This was honestly just what I needed to hear right now. I personally do experience gender dysphoria, but not to the extent that some do. I think it manifests in a lot of denial and shame and probably effects a lot of my social issues. For whatever reason, hearing you talk about everything that makes up your trans experience took the focus away from my worries that my dysphoria isn't enough to 'qualify' me as trans. I related so much to how you experience being trans and I think I need to realize that that is enough for me to be trans. I'm really working on that atm. I think the section of you talking about how you experience manhood really resonated with me. I want so desperately to be seen as a man, but don't really identify with cis men and that always felt invalidating.
@@xylothemagnificent420 Aww, of course! I think a lot of people feel this way. It's really easy to get caught up in the idea that there is one way to be trans, but that couldn't be further from the truth
Hello Theo! I'm currently 10 months on T I started in january this year, and really, it has benn the best year of my life Like you, I'm still very mutch dysphoric about my body in general, even thought I have lots of body hair, even a beard, becouse of my top parts in particular. Since my puberty hit quite early, people alway commented about it, and now I can't help myself about hating it... I can't wait to get top surgery and finally be able to wear the clothes I want, and be shirtless all day! Anyway, I just wanted to share this here. I started watching you as soon as I started T, and I'm so glad to be able to see your journey as a transman. Hope your body changes in a way that pleases you; and for all other transfolk that readed it here, hope yall have the best life :)
Congratulations Theo!!! I am incredibly happy for you! I have been following your journey since before you started T and it gave me so much hope, as medical transition has seemed impossible for me. Thank you so much for documenting your journey so other trans guys out there, like me, have hope. Love you, and continue doing what you do
As a fellow trans masc that is, hopefully, about to start HRT next month and ALSO has a congested nose....I felt that one analogy about being able to breath in fresh air when my transition starts lmao Honestly it's true and I can't wait. Thanks Theo! Your videos have been truly inspiring! Keep it up !
Dude you're so genuinely funny, best trans youtuber i've encountered so far. But really, this video has been really insightful for me, i am also 19 and transmasc, not on T yet but hoping i'll be someday, i wanna experiment with my gender a little bit before going all out, i need to try things out and see what fits best, and hearing your experience was important for me. Thanks for this vid, Theo. I am Samuel. (Also, i absolutely love your personality)
Thank you for that ending, I seriously needed that. I am hoping to ask my parents to get my dysphoria diagnosed soon, and hopefully start T after that. This video, especially the later half really summed up how I feel. I am not a cis man and will never experience masculinity in a cis way, but that doesn’t make me any less male. I have only recently accepted that he/him might be the right pronouns for me but everything is starting to click. I don’t think I’ve ever understood queer joy until now Thank you for seeing me and vocalising my thoughts
god im just getting to watching this video after seeing you get top surgery and it really is making me sob. truly an amazing video and i cant believe it only has 7k views??? crazy
This was amazing! You spoke to so much I've thought about but never really articulated since I came out. It's been a struggle and absolutely awful at times but the fact that I don't have to fight but can simply be will forever be the most special thing to me. I even started T one day after my 18th birthday 3 weeks ago and everyday it's like a buzzing that I can just wait and that's it. Congrats on one year on T Theo! I hope the following years will give you more of the changes you want :)
this is my second time watching this video, and i just want to say thank you so much. i am a teenage trans guy who has been questioning his gender for around 5 years and it means so much to have a role model like you on youtube. i struggle to find good transmasc youtubers who are not fully binary fully transitioned men, and then on top of that making content that i enjoy. that's why i love this channel so much. as a nintendo and mcr obsessed teenager who doesn't have a lot of irl friends, it just means a lot to me to watch these videos and see that it gets better for someone like me. i have been suppressing myself and wishing i was cis for so long, that i only fully admitted to myself that i wasn't a few months ago. i do not live in an accepting home that would allow me to socially transition, so watching these videos is like an escape for me that i cannot describe. this one is one that means the most to me by far, and is my favorite that you've made. thank you theo for bringing some light into my a lot of times difficult journey with acceptance and transness.
I'm really so happy for you, your journey has been so cool to see, thanks you for sharing it! and thank you sm for what you said in your Manhood section of the video, it really made me happy, wish you the best, bud
I'm a 23 year old non-binary trans guy who just came out this year! I'm possibly one phone call away from HRT and this video might have just given me the will to finally do it
Hey Theo I'm so happy for you! I feel like you give me more strength to one day talk to my parents about wanting HRT. Sometimes you feel like a big brother I never had walking me through things. This is a lovely little corner of the internet ♡ 🏳️⚧️
This has made me a lot more confident in pursuing hrt. It’s scary and a huge change, but you can literally see how euphoric you are from being more comfortable in your body. That’s something I desperately want.
I am cis and watched your transition videos because I find it interesting , and all can say after watching the end of this video is, Bravo! 👏 I wish was half as articulate, thoughtful and funny as you when I was your age. Chase the euphoria.
im 4 months on T and i relate so hard to your experiences passing at a new job lol. the funny thing is i wear really girly jewelry 24/7 and present not stereotypically masculine yet most of my cishet coworkers are adamant that im straight and i have gotten in trouble for being friendly with female coworkers. having to come out to new people sucks
I was so excited to watch this a few days ago and the timing is immaculate cause I checked my bank account today and I think I finally squirrelled away enough money to start t, if I want too. There are a lot of other factors (mostly family disapproval) in my life rn that might keep it from happening for a hot minute. But I can do it. I have the means and I fricking cried with relief cause this is just more proof that I'm gonna make it.
Congrats on the 1 Year Theo! This video gave me the courage to send an email to ask a therapist I'm thinking about seeing some basic questions about a Gender dysphoria diagnosis.I really struggled writing this email for days since my social anxiety is awful. I have been watching your content since I seen "10 Trans Masc Tips that Will change your life" pop into my feed. I had a lot of setbacks when trying get the ball rolling, but now everything is cool. I have finally feel like I'm going the right direction. Heck if this video wasn't even posted I would have never sent the email. Thank you for the courage you gave me to send the most important email in my life.
Congrats man! I'm cis but I watched the whole thing cus I find this kind of content interesting and informative. I'm trying to learn more about trans people and hopefully become a better ally. Keep up the good work👌 Edit: it's been a year lmao, I'm a big trans meme. I was just in denial💀
I hope I can get on testosterone soon dude. Unfortunately I'm left to wait for longer which sucks. I've wanted to transition since middle school and now I'm 21 year old trans guy ftm who's still Pre-T/Pre-transition unfortunately. I just hope I can make it like you have. Proud of you ! 🏳️⚧️
Ah, man, you made me cry multiple times during this video and I'm not a person who easily cries during watching something 😅 I've been feeling very down recently. It seems like the world starts to hate us more and more with every day and it's scary. I'm 24 years old genderqueer trans dude who's been out only for a years, as I grew up in a very catholic environment and family; I only found courage inside me to break free during first pandemic. I'm struggling with accessing gender affirming care due to my disability that makes earning money harder for me and my family being poor immigrants. Stuff gets hard in UK recently. All of this is so scary and depressing. Watching your video made me feel a little better about future and being trans in general. Thank you 🫂💖 Viktor 🌸
Hey theo great video! I’m a 13 year old trans dude, living in the US. Thankfully my state is one of the bluest ones out there, so shit isn’t too bad here. With that being said i still had to wait over 8 MONTHS for my first gender clinic appt, only to be told that now I have to wait ANOTHER 8 MONTHS for the next one. I am living in hell. And then I learn that my parents are “strongly against” the concept of medical transition, whereas I want it as soon as possible? Like I said: hell. I’ve been socially transitioned for over a year and a half now, and my mom still thinks that it’s a phase or something. The idea of not being able to medically transition for another few years feels like it’s sucking out my soul just to think about it. I haven’t watched the whole video, but my brother did (he is also tranz) and he said it’s great, so I’m going to trust him (hence the first few words of this comment). Tbh i have no idea what point im trying to make in this comment, just wanted to share some of my transy experiences with some people :) edit: "i felt like an impostor, and not in like a slay amongus way" i just lOST IT edit 2: after hearing the rant about Cis Men i am now more generally afraid of men than i was before. thank you (video is still great so far tho) edit 3: i just realized that this video has 333 views and was posted 3 hours ago. and this is the 3rd edit. impeccable edit 4: finished the video. the last chapter was epic, very cool =)
@@Everythingmaxxer thank you so much for your highly insightful comment. I believe the word you were missing is penis I don’t know why you couldn’t have just said it if that’s your bigotry view. I don’t need a penis to be a guy because I know I’ll always have bigger balls then assholes like you who hide behind a screen to feel brave trying to make people feel shit 🥰
I recently realized i was trans and i just felt good that i finally understood myself. Im happy and wating to be even more happier in the future as my true self
I did not watch this video when it came out because I just dont watch long RUclips videos or much RUclips I'm general, but I was skipping a long this video (I'll watch it in ful eventually because this video looks FANTASTIC) and watched the whole manhood section. It resonated so much with me and I think is just important to hear!!! I have a suggestion which would be to either post that section as its own video or create one based on that idea. I'd say most of the transmen RUclipsrs are millennials so I can glad there is a Gen Z youtuber that understand the new views the generation has ^^
I started t a month before you did, and I usually don't pass :( makes sense bc I'm kinda feminine but it's disappointing not being able to pass while being more than a year on t, but idk, changes will come some day
Im not fucking crying /sarc whos that This is probably the most beautiful, most detailed videos about the trans experience and it really sums up everything ive ever thought and dreamed about my transness. Actually crying, man. Its a chill, sincere video that I'm gonna show every transphobe istg. Eyes have been opened, gg bro gg. Also, about the eyes bit: Afabs can have a lot more fat in the face (around the eyes, mouth, cheeks, etc.) and combine that with the bones becoming denser (and thus possibly more prominent), your eyes may look deeper, less curved, all that shit
I also have really really bad hip dysphoria more than anything. I’m pre t and and I struggle so badly with clothes and my hips. I have a small waist and really really boney and weirdly proportions of hips that make them look even wider. I can hardly leave my house in the one pair of baggy jeans I own. It’s really difficult because I know that going on t might not help that major part of my dysphoria which fucking sucks. I do have a question for you Theo or anyone who is on T. Im hoping to start transitioning after I graduate high school because I really struggle socially with school In a way I can’t explain that I just know transitioning now will make it even harder for me. Anyway the question I have is how do I know if I will be able to feel better about myself on T? What if I go on T and I still feel the same dysphoria as pre T?
for me personally my hip dysphoria is also REALLY bad and the thing that makes me the most dysphoric. after 1 year t really didnt change the shape of my body, BUT personally i am more comfortable with my hips just because im overall more confident in myself. im still gonna wait a few years to see where my body ends up from T, but i do know that it'll be entirely up to you on how you end up feeling after HRT. your dysphoria might get better, it might stay the same, the only way you'll know for sure is to try testosterone. also there IS surgery that exists to get rid of hips, i know mars wright got it and talked about it so also if you feel like once you're on T that it isn't helping there is another option
@@TheosGhost thank you so much for this response. I completely understand how feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself will effect how you feel in your body. I have considered hip surgery and have researched a bit but most of the resources I found revolved highly around feminising hips or surgical reduction for women, I couldn’t find much trans specific but I will definitely check out mars to consider that if T doesn’t help much, thank you so much for helping I really appreciate the support:)
Where I live it's a bit complicated . Being trans and trans healthcare isn't talked about in my area. So I'm left to look for said care on my own. Not even my phsctrist refered me to anyone. I still need more money to transition because insurance won't cover trans healthcare. So I basically have to pay out of pocket for everything. And I'm freaking out. I just hope I'm able to transition soon. Because I don't want to die being stuck in a body that's not mine anymore. I've already forced myself to live this long in the hopes I can start my transition. That's the only thing keeping me going at this point. I did find a gender clinic online near my area, but I need alot more money before I set up an appointment.
Probably the least productive or relevant comment you'll receive on this video (great video, though!) ... But hey! At least it'll still count as engagement and push it in the algorithm! So I'll post it anyway xD 1st I appreciate that the "perception" part of the video was kinda sorta an actual tea/T party xD 2nd that whole setting (especially you holding that wine glass and wearing your glasses) caused me to be hit like a truck with the realisation that you remind me a lot of the character Mozzie from the TV show White Collar (played by the late Willie Garson) O.o Whose legal name (spoiler alert!) is frigging THEODORE WINTERS! Which means that character is a fellow Theo xD Make of that what you will, I guess xD
An optimistic trail Anyway i think your dose is too low, you'll probably have to upgrade into 6 pumps but let me tell ya those drain the heck out of you. I used to apply gel throughout all the course of my first year on t, 3 pumps for the first 3 months, 4 pumps until the 6 months, 3 and 4 pumps didn't gave me too much problems but my blood test were still unsatisfying for me, then i got upgraded to 6 pumps until i swapped with injections every 12 weeks (with nebid which has a slower release) right on my first year mark. Applying 6 pumps everyday was probably the most draining experience i ever had, very slow to dry out, used to make my skin ultra itchy and dry, my thighs couldn't take it anymore, and it was the same shit everyday with no possibility to let my skin rest and heal. Now that I'm on injections not only i see more consistent results but I'm really relaxed and i feel calmer and healthier. I suggest you to contact your endocrinologist and maybe discuss about your options with injections, cuz I also thought I had to inject myself every week but it wasn't the case
loved watching this video. i likely might be able to start testosterone in 3-4 months, so i'm watching all these types of videos to survive until then. i'm really hoping my move away from home goes well and i'll finally be able to start transitioning but we'll see. if anyone reminds me, i'll edit and update 4 months from now to let y'all know.
LADY YOU ARE NOT A MAN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! and no that does not mean men are the oppressors they are just men and it's because of this stereotype of men and women why you and so many other women wanting to be men it's said rely
Congrats on 1 year theo, even tho I'm a newer subscriber I couldn't be more happier for you and I wish only the best luck for you in the future !!! 🤍🤍🏳️⚧️
Theo, I am a 25 year old trans guy who only came out a few years ago in 2020! I spent the whole year by myself like so many people. At first I was unraveling from not wanting to spend time alone with myself, but then when no one was around, I was able to be as masculine as I wanted to be, and I learned how to love myself. A part of this was exploring my gender so late in life, it felt like I was finally reading between the lines of my self deprecation and my low self esteem. Like i finally had the courage to decode my shame, and then I found your channel. It’s a bit embarrassing but also extremely beautiful how you could teach someone like me so much about myself and my experiences, just from talking about all the ways you explored your gender and your own journey on Testosterone. I feel like I was a coward a bit before I saw your channel, and then when I started watching, you showed me the truth of everything, and 100% because I saw your channel I started taking T myself. I have found so much happiness because of you, and because I’ve finally started my path as a trans masculine adult. (Though I know that path is different for every trans person, T was something I needed to feel like I was really moving forward.)
Thank you for everything, for all the insight into your trans experiences, for all the laughs, warmth you’ve given us, and courage you’ve given me. Happy one year, you’ve become an incredible and handsome guy and I hope in your journey you continue to find more and more to celebrate about yourself along the way, as long as you live.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Literally that's so cool to hear how much I've helped, hope we can BOTH continue to find joy in transitioning!!
If this doesn’t end up surpassing 100K+ views, I will fucking riot until it does. This video is nothing short of a masterpiece, and people from all walks of life would benefit from watching this and truly taking in your words, experiences and information. This was well worth the time taken to watch it and I would watch this a million times over honestly. A huge congrats to your first year on T, I’m so happy for and proud of you for being able to make it to this point. I hope things only continue to improve from here ❤️
It's crazy because I came out to myself as trans the same day and year you started T ☠️
omg happy coming out anniversary
I started T a few days ago!! In november fnsjmdjs
@@TheosGhost thank you I find your videos about T really helpful and educational and I love your other stuff as well very entertaining and thanks for doing what you do and also your one of my favorite youtubers :)
@@TheosGhost about the weight thing it's completely normal to lose weight, as a born man I've seen tons of skinny boys who are like 5'8 and weight 130 and seemingly skinny girls who are like 5'3 that weight 140 or more I think women naturally have more body fat and Testosterone caused you to lose a lot of that and since you're not really working out you're not gonna gain weight but lose babyfat.
Congratulations for being on T for one full year! I remember when you released your video of when you first started it, I can't believe it's already been a year. Hope your transition continues on going well!
thank you so much for the euphoria section at the end.
hearing you say how you felt about hating your transness before you transitioned and how it changed once you felt all that euphoria of transitioning really gave me so much hope that one day i wont feel like being trans is a curse and a punishment, because so often i’ve thought of my life as a cruel awful punishment and that i’d never be happy because no matter what, i’d never be cis. your feelings about dysphoria before you transitioned are so similar to mine now and the last section of the video genuinely gave me the will to live and continue and keep fighting for my happiness in myself. to know that even if i will never be cis, one day i will be happy is amazing and im so glad i watched the whole video. know you might as well have saved the life of a fellow trans brother.
my BOY
literally i used to feel the EXACT same way with feeling like transness is a punishment but i promise you its not!!! glad my video was able to help you bro
something similar with feeling like being trans is a punishment, I punished myself for feeling trans feelings by making myself stare into the mirror at parts I was very dysphoric about until I cried. I'm not out yet, but I can't wait for the day I can go through transitioning and finally be comftorable being myself. Being trans is a struggle sometimes, but it's certainly not a punishment. A way you can think about it too is that everyone has an obstacle to overcome, and the obstacle for people who are trans is dysphoria.
after i started this job at a gas station i started having a lot of (presumably cis) men acting all buddy buddy with me and bro'ing me and giving me fistbumps and shit and there was this feeling inside that i absolutely despised it but couldny figure out why beacause i pass shouldnt i be happy about that ?? ? so ty for putting it into words how annoying it is to deal with cis men even/especially after beginning to pass, and it makes me glad to know that at least someone gets how it feels because obviously the vast majority of people don't
Congratulations bro !! 🏳️⚧️🤍
please never ever delete this video
Congrats Theo! Haven't seen the video yet but just wanna say it's so cool that you're more comfortable now and that you have a support network around you, every trans person deserves this basic level of care and I hope one day it's the standard for us
Edit: Holy shit dude that section about euphoria made me feel genuinely proud to be queer, I don't feel that often as I'm so uncomfortable in my own body due to dysphoria and not having any treatment yet but damn what you said really made me feel like I've done well to still even be here. Faced a lot of stuff in life due to being trans, I don't think many cishet people can ever know the pain of being told you're something that you know you're not and being forced to live a life you know isn't true, it's like living in the Truman show or something where your whole life feels fake until you're able to come out and be accepted. Great video man
Thank you! AND YES the Truman show is such a good analogy AND BE PROUD TO BE QUEER
the part where you talk about social dysphoria is very important i think. only trans people and maybe even not all trans people understand that. im so happy you mentioned how you can tell if someone “actually sees you as the gender you are or if they’ve just memorized your pronouns enough to not offend you.” this is very important. thank you again theo for sharing your feelings like this. :)
i feel like poc cis women feel social dysphoria aswell as people often see us as masculine. as a middle eastern girl i had more leg hair at 14 years old than my 30 year old white cis man sports teacher in sports class. and my classmates would not see my femininity because of western/european beauty standards.
11:20 such a cool and cute tattoo you got there :D (the lil dino one)
Theo! I have been subscribed to your channel ever since i watched your first testosterone update and i think your content genuinely changed something in my brain. I am a 15 year old trans boy, i found out i'm trans around 3 years ago and i've been out to some of my friends for a year and a half. i pass maybe 50% of the time. i admire you for choosing to document your journey in how it really is like for you. the dysphoria part of your video genuinely made me tear up from how real it is. i think you're genuinely one of if not the best channel on youtube that makes trans-related content, at least in my opinion. you're voicing some things that are kind of unspoken in the community, so thank you for this. i'm finding myself just staring blankly at this comment, not really knowing what to write, so i just wanna express my graditude. thank you. i hope your transition goes well :)
Hey besties I haven’t ever taken T (but I want so bad) and I’m not even out to pretty much anyone besides my partner and a few close friends but watching this has made me cry so so much and just feel so hopeful and happy which is crazy for me tbh. The whole lonely existence being queer is so true and after this I feel really valid and seen. Just thank you for sharing this video and everything you’ve said and done.. I wasn’t feeling the best before watching it and now I’m actually feeling like it’s possible and I’ll be okay 💪
I'm 8 months on t, so a little behind you but I feel exactly the same as you. It's not relieving bc I still feel like shit about transition, but comforting knowing that I'm not the only one who has had a non linear experience with relation to gender affirmation from transition. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
It's nice to see other trans people thriving and living their best lives to the best of their ability . With everything going on now, these videos give me hope.
that ending made me cry. shed tears. thank you so much for documenting your journey for us, i really needed this
I feel like this video made me understand myself so much better. like I am transmasc but I hate being called he/him because I know I don't pass and that people either memorise my pronoun or straight up misgender me because I don't look like it. thanks for also sharing negative or disappointing sides of transition, I often feel like im not grateful enough for being able to be on testosterone when I feel disappointed in the lack of changes (even tho its only been two months for me)
You seriously make me laugh at moments. I love how you articulate your sense of self and your experience. Really nice touch wearing the same shirt from your day 1 on T vid. Not sure it was intentional but you seem like one to have that kind of attention to detail to mark the beginning of a new chapter. Looking forward to hearing about your second year on T as it unfolds.
This is awesome, thank you!
You're really good at explaining, sometimes my brain kind of struggles to digest information, but this just *worked*, I don't know how to explain it, but thank you.
Wherever your journey goes, I hope it'll be a good one!
Congrats on 1 year! The big spike in your measurements at 6 months could be because when you go on testosterone you gain a looot of water weight. It goes away eventually, but you just kinda get a bit larger for a bit. Plus you're literally going through puberty again your body gets a lil quirky while it's trying to sort that out
It's normal to put on weight and loose it when you begin T, it's water retention 😝 Depending on genetics, most tend to bloat on the first year. I went from 74 to a whopping 86 kg the first year, then the water went away and now (4 years in), I'm 78 kg and it's stable. Just the added muscle weight remained. Funny thing is fat redistribution, what was on my thighs migrated to my belly, and I dropped 2 pants sizes. I did have to buy new shoes though, my feet grew in width.
Velcro ass hair 😂! Yup! Annoying but fun!
Don't worry too much if the changes take place slowly, me too I only had the voice at 1 year, and still was misgendered! But then my Adam's apple became very visible at year 2, and I lost my saddlebags along the 3rd year, and now I have a semi-decent goatee and nobody calls me miss anymore 😊!
Lovely video Theo, I love your humour!
Thank you for sharing that! I knew T could make you look bloated but I didn't quite realise it would be SO much weight fluctuation, so it is comforting to hear you going through a similar thing :)
since you mentioned you have ezcema heres some products that should work without irritating your skin
-any sensitive skin body wash, like dove or aveeno
-a homemade sugar scrub of white sugar and almond oil
-plain unscented lotion/cream, the cerave ones are very good
-rose hip oil and/or the hylarounic acid serum, both by the inkey list
(so the order would be body wash, sugar scrub, serum, lotion/cream, and oil)
hope this helps :)
Congrats Theo ✨ Thanks for talking about your experiences so openly
We started T one month apart. It has been really cool to compare my transition with yours along the way. Thank you for making these videos.
This was honestly just what I needed to hear right now. I personally do experience gender dysphoria, but not to the extent that some do. I think it manifests in a lot of denial and shame and probably effects a lot of my social issues. For whatever reason, hearing you talk about everything that makes up your trans experience took the focus away from my worries that my dysphoria isn't enough to 'qualify' me as trans. I related so much to how you experience being trans and I think I need to realize that that is enough for me to be trans. I'm really working on that atm.
I think the section of you talking about how you experience manhood really resonated with me. I want so desperately to be seen as a man, but don't really identify with cis men and that always felt invalidating.
I relate so much! I'm happy someone feels the same way I do. For a moment I thought I was alone in this struggle.
@@xylothemagnificent420 Aww, of course! I think a lot of people feel this way. It's really easy to get caught up in the idea that there is one way to be trans, but that couldn't be further from the truth
Hello Theo! I'm currently 10 months on T
I started in january this year, and really, it has benn the best year of my life
Like you, I'm still very mutch dysphoric about my body in general, even thought I have lots of body hair, even a beard, becouse of my top parts in particular. Since my puberty hit quite early, people alway commented about it, and now I can't help myself about hating it... I can't wait to get top surgery and finally be able to wear the clothes I want, and be shirtless all day!
Anyway, I just wanted to share this here. I started watching you as soon as I started T, and I'm so glad to be able to see your journey as a transman. Hope your body changes in a way that pleases you; and for all other transfolk that readed it here, hope yall have the best life :)
Congratulations Theo!!! I am incredibly happy for you! I have been following your journey since before you started T and it gave me so much hope, as medical transition has seemed impossible for me. Thank you so much for documenting your journey so other trans guys out there, like me, have hope. Love you, and continue doing what you do
As a fellow trans masc that is, hopefully, about to start HRT next month and ALSO has a congested nose....I felt that one analogy about being able to breath in fresh air when my transition starts lmao Honestly it's true and I can't wait. Thanks Theo! Your videos have been truly inspiring! Keep it up !
Dude you're so genuinely funny, best trans youtuber i've encountered so far. But really, this video has been really insightful for me, i am also 19 and transmasc, not on T yet but hoping i'll be someday, i wanna experiment with my gender a little bit before going all out, i need to try things out and see what fits best, and hearing your experience was important for me. Thanks for this vid, Theo. I am Samuel.
(Also, i absolutely love your personality)
Thank you for that ending, I seriously needed that.
I am hoping to ask my parents to get my dysphoria diagnosed soon, and hopefully start T after that.
This video, especially the later half really summed up how I feel. I am not a cis man and will never experience masculinity in a cis way, but that doesn’t make me any less male. I have only recently accepted that he/him might be the right pronouns for me but everything is starting to click.
I don’t think I’ve ever understood queer joy until now
Thank you for seeing me and vocalising my thoughts
god im just getting to watching this video after seeing you get top surgery and it really is making me sob. truly an amazing video and i cant believe it only has 7k views??? crazy
This was amazing! You spoke to so much I've thought about but never really articulated since I came out. It's been a struggle and absolutely awful at times but the fact that I don't have to fight but can simply be will forever be the most special thing to me. I even started T one day after my 18th birthday 3 weeks ago and everyday it's like a buzzing that I can just wait and that's it. Congrats on one year on T Theo! I hope the following years will give you more of the changes you want :)
this is my second time watching this video, and i just want to say thank you so much. i am a teenage trans guy who has been questioning his gender for around 5 years and it means so much to have a role model like you on youtube. i struggle to find good transmasc youtubers who are not fully binary fully transitioned men, and then on top of that making content that i enjoy. that's why i love this channel so much. as a nintendo and mcr obsessed teenager who doesn't have a lot of irl friends, it just means a lot to me to watch these videos and see that it gets better for someone like me. i have been suppressing myself and wishing i was cis for so long, that i only fully admitted to myself that i wasn't a few months ago. i do not live in an accepting home that would allow me to socially transition, so watching these videos is like an escape for me that i cannot describe. this one is one that means the most to me by far, and is my favorite that you've made. thank you theo for bringing some light into my a lot of times difficult journey with acceptance and transness.
TEH VOICE DROP IS CRAZZYYY IM SO HAPPI FOR UUUU AND U LOOK SO GOOD
ALSO LOVE UR LONG HAIR
i think this is the first youtube video ive EVER seen where i genuinely enjoyed the opening track! 🤘🏻
update: shoulder acne song is up there though
this video made me so happy, congrats on one year!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I think it went really well! I'm not personally old enough to start T yet but hopefully will soon. This is amazing!
Thank you for such a comprehensive explanation of your trans experience. I always love to hear similar perspectives from my trans peers.
I'm really so happy for you, your journey has been so cool to see, thanks you for sharing it! and thank you sm for what you said in your Manhood section of the video, it really made me happy, wish you the best, bud
I'm a 23 year old non-binary trans guy who just came out this year! I'm possibly one phone call away from HRT and this video might have just given me the will to finally do it
obviously its up to you but... GET THOSE HORMONES START THE TESTOSTERONE GO ON T !!!!!!!!
Hey Theo I'm so happy for you!
I feel like you give me more strength to one day talk to my parents about wanting HRT.
Sometimes you feel like a big brother I never had walking me through things.
This is a lovely little corner of the internet ♡ 🏳️⚧️
Congrats Theo!! 💙
Thank you for the detailed update! It's a really transparent video and I think it will help many :)
This has made me a lot more confident in pursuing hrt. It’s scary and a huge change, but you can literally see how euphoric you are from being more comfortable in your body. That’s something I desperately want.
Congrats on being 1 year on T!
I am cis and watched your transition videos because I find it interesting , and all can say after watching the end of this video is, Bravo! 👏 I wish was half as articulate, thoughtful and funny as you when I was your age. Chase the euphoria.
im 4 months on T and i relate so hard to your experiences passing at a new job lol. the funny thing is i wear really girly jewelry 24/7 and present not stereotypically masculine yet most of my cishet coworkers are adamant that im straight and i have gotten in trouble for being friendly with female coworkers. having to come out to new people sucks
What a powerful and interesting video, so so proud
I was so excited to watch this a few days ago and the timing is immaculate cause I checked my bank account today and I think I finally squirrelled away enough money to start t, if I want too. There are a lot of other factors (mostly family disapproval) in my life rn that might keep it from happening for a hot minute. But I can do it. I have the means and I fricking cried with relief cause this is just more proof that I'm gonna make it.
AAAAAA LIVING FOR THE TERRIBLE GREEN SCREEN
Congrats on the 1 Year Theo! This video gave me the courage to send an email to ask a therapist I'm thinking about seeing some basic questions about a Gender dysphoria diagnosis.I really struggled writing this email for days since my social anxiety is awful. I have been watching your content since I seen "10 Trans Masc Tips that Will change your life" pop into my feed. I had a lot of setbacks when trying get the ball rolling, but now everything is cool. I have finally feel like I'm going the right direction. Heck if this video wasn't even posted I would have never sent the email. Thank you for the courage you gave me to send the most important email in my life.
i’m so glad you made this video
Congrats man! I'm cis but I watched the whole thing cus I find this kind of content interesting and informative. I'm trying to learn more about trans people and hopefully become a better ally. Keep up the good work👌
Edit: it's been a year lmao, I'm a big trans meme. I was just in denial💀
Thanks for giving me so much hope theo
kinda off topic but where did you get your black and white striped collared sweatshirt in the testosterone section? it looks super cool
hot topic 👍
I hope I can get on testosterone soon dude. Unfortunately I'm left to wait for longer which sucks. I've wanted to transition since middle school and now I'm 21 year old trans guy ftm who's still Pre-T/Pre-transition unfortunately. I just hope I can make it like you have. Proud of you ! 🏳️⚧️
Ah, man, you made me cry multiple times during this video and I'm not a person who easily cries during watching something 😅 I've been feeling very down recently. It seems like the world starts to hate us more and more with every day and it's scary. I'm 24 years old genderqueer trans dude who's been out only for a years, as I grew up in a very catholic environment and family; I only found courage inside me to break free during first pandemic. I'm struggling with accessing gender affirming care due to my disability that makes earning money harder for me and my family being poor immigrants. Stuff gets hard in UK recently. All of this is so scary and depressing. Watching your video made me feel a little better about future and being trans in general. Thank you 🫂💖
Viktor 🌸
Thanks for the tip that gel can be dangerous for cats and dogs 🙂
Hey theo great video! I’m a 13 year old trans dude, living in the US. Thankfully my state is one of the bluest ones out there, so shit isn’t too bad here. With that being said i still had to wait over 8 MONTHS for my first gender clinic appt, only to be told that now I have to wait ANOTHER 8 MONTHS for the next one. I am living in hell. And then I learn that my parents are “strongly against” the concept of medical transition, whereas I want it as soon as possible? Like I said: hell. I’ve been socially transitioned for over a year and a half now, and my mom still thinks that it’s a phase or something. The idea of not being able to medically transition for another few years feels like it’s sucking out my soul just to think about it. I haven’t watched the whole video, but my brother did (he is also tranz) and he said it’s great, so I’m going to trust him (hence the first few words of this comment). Tbh i have no idea what point im trying to make in this comment, just wanted to share some of my transy experiences with some people :)
edit: "i felt like an impostor, and not in like a slay amongus way" i just lOST IT
edit 2: after hearing the rant about Cis Men i am now more generally afraid of men than i was before. thank you (video is still great so far tho)
edit 3: i just realized that this video has 333 views and was posted 3 hours ago. and this is the 3rd edit. impeccable
edit 4: finished the video. the last chapter was epic, very cool =)
I live in Australia and I had to wait 9 months for my intake appointment and then the changed it to 12 months :,)
@@rainways7586 😔
You will never be a man
You will never have a _ _ _ _ _
@@Everythingmaxxer thank you so much for your highly insightful comment. I believe the word you were missing is penis I don’t know why you couldn’t have just said it if that’s your bigotry view. I don’t need a penis to be a guy because I know I’ll always have bigger balls then assholes like you who hide behind a screen to feel brave trying to make people feel shit 🥰
@@rainways7586 I censored the word because youtube deletes comments that contain words they deem explicit
I recently realized i was trans and i just felt good that i finally understood myself. Im happy and wating to be even more happier in the future as my true self
I did not watch this video when it came out because I just dont watch long RUclips videos or much RUclips I'm general, but I was skipping a long this video (I'll watch it in ful eventually because this video looks FANTASTIC) and watched the whole manhood section. It resonated so much with me and I think is just important to hear!!! I have a suggestion which would be to either post that section as its own video or create one based on that idea. I'd say most of the transmen RUclipsrs are millennials so I can glad there is a Gen Z youtuber that understand the new views the generation has ^^
Wowie, T did MUCH MUCHNESS to your voice in a short space of time!
I wish my voice had changed as fast :) my arse just got really hairy
I started t a month before you did, and I usually don't pass :( makes sense bc I'm kinda feminine but it's disappointing not being able to pass while being more than a year on t, but idk, changes will come some day
Been watching since the beginning 😎👍
Spontaneously started saluting when he did the manhood speech
Im not fucking crying /sarc whos that
This is probably the most beautiful, most detailed videos about the trans experience and it really sums up everything ive ever thought and dreamed about my transness. Actually crying, man. Its a chill, sincere video that I'm gonna show every transphobe istg. Eyes have been opened, gg bro gg.
Also, about the eyes bit: Afabs can have a lot more fat in the face (around the eyes, mouth, cheeks, etc.) and combine that with the bones becoming denser (and thus possibly more prominent), your eyes may look deeper, less curved, all that shit
The video is too long but everything else is a real help and thank you for sharing your transition with us❤
I love Theo so much!!
I also have really really bad hip dysphoria more than anything. I’m pre t and and I struggle so badly with clothes and my hips. I have a small waist and really really boney and weirdly proportions of hips that make them look even wider. I can hardly leave my house in the one pair of baggy jeans I own. It’s really difficult because I know that going on t might not help that major part of my dysphoria which fucking sucks. I do have a question for you Theo or anyone who is on T. Im hoping to start transitioning after I graduate high school because I really struggle socially with school In a way I can’t explain that I just know transitioning now will make it even harder for me. Anyway the question I have is how do I know if I will be able to feel better about myself on T? What if I go on T and I still feel the same dysphoria as pre T?
for me personally my hip dysphoria is also REALLY bad and the thing that makes me the most dysphoric. after 1 year t really didnt change the shape of my body, BUT personally i am more comfortable with my hips just because im overall more confident in myself. im still gonna wait a few years to see where my body ends up from T, but i do know that it'll be entirely up to you on how you end up feeling after HRT. your dysphoria might get better, it might stay the same, the only way you'll know for sure is to try testosterone. also there IS surgery that exists to get rid of hips, i know mars wright got it and talked about it so also if you feel like once you're on T that it isn't helping there is another option
@@TheosGhost thank you so much for this response. I completely understand how feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself will effect how you feel in your body. I have considered hip surgery and have researched a bit but most of the resources I found revolved highly around feminising hips or surgical reduction for women, I couldn’t find much trans specific but I will definitely check out mars to consider that if T doesn’t help much, thank you so much for helping I really appreciate the support:)
hell yesss! happy t anniversary!🏳⚧💕
congrats man!!
soooo many facts. this is what I was looking for today.
Where I live it's a bit complicated . Being trans and trans healthcare isn't talked about in my area. So I'm left to look for said care on my own. Not even my phsctrist refered me to anyone. I still need more money to transition because insurance won't cover trans healthcare. So I basically have to pay out of pocket for everything. And I'm freaking out. I just hope I'm able to transition soon. Because I don't want to die being stuck in a body that's not mine anymore. I've already forced myself to live this long in the hopes I can start my transition. That's the only thing keeping me going at this point. I did find a gender clinic online near my area, but I need alot more money before I set up an appointment.
Probably the least productive or relevant comment you'll receive on this video (great video, though!) ... But hey! At least it'll still count as engagement and push it in the algorithm! So I'll post it anyway xD
1st I appreciate that the "perception" part of the video was kinda sorta an actual tea/T party xD
2nd that whole setting (especially you holding that wine glass and wearing your glasses) caused me to be hit like a truck with the realisation that you remind me a lot of the character Mozzie from the TV show White Collar (played by the late Willie Garson) O.o Whose legal name (spoiler alert!) is frigging THEODORE WINTERS! Which means that character is a fellow Theo xD Make of that what you will, I guess xD
Congratulations theo ❤️
An optimistic trail
Anyway i think your dose is too low, you'll probably have to upgrade into 6 pumps but let me tell ya those drain the heck out of you. I used to apply gel throughout all the course of my first year on t, 3 pumps for the first 3 months, 4 pumps until the 6 months, 3 and 4 pumps didn't gave me too much problems but my blood test were still unsatisfying for me, then i got upgraded to 6 pumps until i swapped with injections every 12 weeks (with nebid which has a slower release) right on my first year mark. Applying 6 pumps everyday was probably the most draining experience i ever had, very slow to dry out, used to make my skin ultra itchy and dry, my thighs couldn't take it anymore, and it was the same shit everyday with no possibility to let my skin rest and heal. Now that I'm on injections not only i see more consistent results but I'm really relaxed and i feel calmer and healthier.
I suggest you to contact your endocrinologist and maybe discuss about your options with injections, cuz I also thought I had to inject myself every week but it wasn't the case
loved watching this video. i likely might be able to start testosterone in 3-4 months, so i'm watching all these types of videos to survive until then.
i'm really hoping my move away from home goes well and i'll finally be able to start transitioning but we'll see. if anyone reminds me, i'll edit and update 4 months from now to let y'all know.
any updates?
@@CakesAndDonuts00 unfortunately, roommate was very sketchy so my moving out process was cancelled.
Congrats!!
it is bad for cats?
amazing video !!
youre just like me fr
LET ME MOVE TO THE UK CUZ I DDINT KNOW THEY PROVIDED FREE HEALTH CARE
"what happened six months ago that i got big and swole and now im back to twig" me whos preferred name is twig :0
❤🌹 God bless you 🙏🙏! Become an online boss = Promo-SM !!
poor theo
Real men dont carry on with nail polish
Wtf. This is a girl?
In your dreams you will never be a man ghosh why are you people so upsest with this. This is definitely a trend no doubt
Hope you can learn to accept your self there is nothing wrong with being a masculine woman it's not reserved to men
LADY YOU ARE NOT A MAN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! and no that does not mean men are the oppressors they are just men and it's because of this stereotype of men and women why you and so many other women wanting to be men it's said rely
it is so sad please make me love my natural womanhood mr armypolice2250 im begging you cure me of my transgender plague 😩😩
congrats!!!!!
Congrats on 1 year theo, even tho I'm a newer subscriber I couldn't be more happier for you and I wish only the best luck for you in the future !!! 🤍🤍🏳️⚧️