experiencing this rn. partner wants more outings, more than im stretching. worried she won't get to your realization of "im not seeing what he is doing, i just feel he's not doing enough", not really looking forward to repeated loop of feeling taken for granted, but also acknowledging shes allowed to want that much outings, but i can't grieve the loss of her ideal amount of outings for her, nor can i acknowledge for her her destructive anxiety and passive manifestations of it, whether or not i go on all the outings she wants beyond my comfort level, no amount of outings will be enough if she can't hold both her desires that are ok to have and the reality of what she is getting, knowing she's allowed to ask for more, but not understanding why she's asking for it. i do want to keep trying to compromise because i know it's maybe important to her to some degree, im personally struggling with not wanting indirect and passive and dishonest communication long-term, i would rather call it out, like hey, this sounds like you've been missing me, and can't be wholly responsible for regulating you, but because you are missing me without saying it and instead just asking for resources from me, let's go plan something so you feel attended to and we can connect!
@@Baltabak Thank you so much for being so genuine and honest here! We appreciate it. Vivian resonates so much with your struggles and we hear you. Expressing our wants and needs in a clear and respectful way is definitely a skill! We all have a lot of work to do on our own so to show up better and healthier in a relationship! We are sending you and your partner our love!!
That Man is real, Love this conversation 🙏
experiencing this rn. partner wants more outings, more than im stretching. worried she won't get to your realization of "im not seeing what he is doing, i just feel he's not doing enough", not really looking forward to repeated loop of feeling taken for granted, but also acknowledging shes allowed to want that much outings, but i can't grieve the loss of her ideal amount of outings for her, nor can i acknowledge for her her destructive anxiety and passive manifestations of it, whether or not i go on all the outings she wants beyond my comfort level, no amount of outings will be enough if she can't hold both her desires that are ok to have and the reality of what she is getting, knowing she's allowed to ask for more, but not understanding why she's asking for it. i do want to keep trying to compromise because i know it's maybe important to her to some degree, im personally struggling with not wanting indirect and passive and dishonest communication long-term, i would rather call it out, like hey, this sounds like you've been missing me, and can't be wholly responsible for regulating you, but because you are missing me without saying it and instead just asking for resources from me, let's go plan something so you feel attended to and we can connect!
@@Baltabak Thank you so much for being so genuine and honest here! We appreciate it.
Vivian resonates so much with your struggles and we hear you. Expressing our wants and needs in a clear and respectful way is definitely a skill! We all have a lot of work to do on our own so to show up better and healthier in a relationship!
We are sending you and your partner our love!!