My brother smokes 2 packs a day and lives off junk food. Per his words, he doesn't care if he lives or dies. He knows his lifestyle is killing him.Until you change their mindset, they won't change.
Some are just wired this way. It's their way of coping with reality. In order for those like this to"undo" a lifestyle as such will take something life altering.
It's very sad. I had a co-worker who started smoking in high school, and sustained a habit of doing that of two packs each day until he starting coughing up blood while he was at work. The doctors diagnosed him with stage 4 lung cancer at age 46 and he passed away from it a year later. We kept trying to get him to quit, but his life was rather stressful and he didn't want to at least give it a try.
yeah my s.o is in hvac and was chewing tobacco for his whole life basically. zyn was the one thing that made him stop the tobacco part. we still spend about 100$ a month on zyn but its better than the tobacco
As an HVAC tech I totally hear myself in this call. I’m a heavy smoker who is stopping at gas stations blowing money on snacks and drinks. It’s easy to say that it’s part of the lifestyle of driving around in a truck from job to job all day. But I don’t even want to imagine how much I’ve spent. Recently married. I will be more conscious of how this might affect my wife. Good luck to this guy.
Same here that's how I got started, I am in a blue collar job and every morning we'd all stop at the gas station and load up on junk it was just part of the routine
I believe it. EVERY time I’m there people are dropping 20 to 50 bucks on junk food and scratch offs. 3 cans a day? He won’t live very long at this rate
The things manufacturers put in chewing tobacco and dip are nasty. In 100 years people are going to think of it the way we think of the Victorians padding their bread with arsenic
Once you get cancer you're going to be spending thousands in medical bills I watched my dad's best friend died at age 55 my sister-in-law at 55... from lung cancer from cigarettes
@@jmeboilunless you’re the type of severe alcoholic that you’re drinking 24/7, quitting cold turkey is safe physically. It’s only a danger if your drinking is so frequent that your body has severe tremors when you’re sober.
You need to pack him lunch and drinks in a cooler. I used to spend 15 dollars a day just in drinks and food while working. You have a hard job you can drink 4 Gatorades a day. I started packing food and would buy the big packages of Gatorade at walmart and bottles of water and it saved me a lot of money.
My mom was a 2-pack a day smoker, starting at age 16. At age 65, she was diagnosed with throat cancer. She quit smoking for one day, then continued the 2-pack a day habit right through 2 weeks of daily radiation treatment. She died in her sleep at age 70 of respiratory failure.
I feel for her. My ex husband was an awful alcoholic. Reason he's an ex husband. He refused to stop. When you drink a 30 pack every 2 days...you have a problem. Also when the liquor store people know you on a first name basis!
I feel for her. My husband has been a smoker for 30 years. It has been a big wedge between us, financially and relationally. It’s taken me 20 years to learn to not say anything but instead pray for him. He has now been cigarette free for 6 weeks. I continue to pray for complete freedom from it. He said it’s still a struggle every single day. I wonder how long until it isn’t as much of a struggle?
I smoked 2 packs a day for over 30 years. Quit cold turkey after a heart attack. Was 9 months of hell, but it DOES get better. He needs the mind set that I can NEVER have even one again. No matter where it takes him. There may be anger, depression, anxiety, insomnia. Its all part of the brain rewiring itself. It takes months in many people. Everyone is different. For some its worse than others.
It's a simple choice. Quit. I don't care what folks say about it being a tough addiction to quit. You decide you're gonna do it... and you do it. No excuses. I smoked for 27 years and one day decided "This is stupid" ... and never had another. It's been 13 years now and still haven't had another. It's a choice, folks. Choose ...
I did the same thing after 40 Years of smoking cigarettes and have never looked back after 15 years plus. If I could quit anybody can quit so said my husband
I decided 12 months ago to stop using nicotine. Put it down and never picked it up again after multiple years of usage. I just wanted to quit so I did, I was offered, peer pressured, and I did enjoy it, but politely refused. It’s not a part of me anymore.
You’re gonna think this is funny but try sunflower seeds! My husband wasn’t as bad but he stopped cold turkey for his family and has been doing really well. There are times he wants some but we never end up buying it. Highly recommend. Good luck to you and your family.
I chewed tobacco for over 20 years. Several co-workers smoked. Our INSPIRATION TO QUIT tobacco was watching another co-worker whither away and die from esophageal cancer leaving his wife alone to raise their young son by herself...
My mom was told that if she didn't quit smoking she wouldn't live to see her granddaughter grow up,, she quit right them and there. My mom is now 80 years old and that granddaughter, my daughter, is now 37 years old. Do it for those who depend on you and need you to live into old age!
@@lot2196 Same here. There's a lot more than just nicotine that hooks you in cigs and definitely chew. Did the vaping thing for 6 months and kept lowering nicotine levels along the way. Best way that has worked for me. Honestly don't even miss it and gross spittoons everywhere but it took a while.
I'm tired of everyone shaming people's tobacco habit. If this man were addicted to having three cups of coffee a day, no one would say squat about it. They would merely look at reducing the cost associated with it. But once it's tobacco, everyone goes straight into quitting. If he wants to quit, then help. Otherwise, focus on cutting the cost of his tobacco consumption.
currently 4 days on the nicotine patches myself. to the non-nicotine people, the act of smoking/chewing is the habit that is hard to kick. currently going through exactly what she was talking about and its hard, but I need to save money and live longer for my children. Thanks to Caleb, Money Guys, and the Ramsey show + my wife (of course), im getting my act together. One day at a time!
I dipped for about 10 yrs. And one day in 2018, I finished my last can of Grizzy Wintergreen. And I have never bought another can since. For a good year I had cravings. Until I didn’t notice them anymore, I loved a nice dip on a long car ride.
The ADHD and addiction link is strong and with chewing tobacco use it hits fills both the nicotine addiction and the extensive need to fidget to regulate the dopamine levels. My husband and I both have ADHD and addictive tendencies and learning to manage our neuro-spiciness through multiple adaptations, has made it much easier to kick habits in the very early stages.
@Scarface_445 I'm addictively putting a puzzle together while I binge watch Ramsey. I'll be up until 2am doing it. Lol. But I'm sober 17 years, nic free 16 years, so puzzles are a good transfer for now. Previous transfers have been cross-stitch, making Christmas porch pots, painting, reading, colouring (made my own adult colouring book from a book of art paper from the thrift store), cooking, crosswords etc etc. Hope some of these ideas get your own creative juices flowing.
He doesn’t want to quit. Once he really wants too. He can do it cold turkey. I smoked 1.5 packs a day for 27 years. Once I finally said enough is enough-I quit!
gas station stores are making a killing off this guy! 2-3 cans a day! Wow. My dad smoked for 20+years. Having the mindset to change is first. the buzz and comfort of tobacco is his comfort. Hope he stops soon and save his family $1k/month. thanks for sharing.
Bro... I know you probably won't be into this just based on how it's looked at especially for adults but with the right vape setup you can get your nicotine fix for SUPER cheap. With a salt nicotine setup you can get at least a month out of a ~$12 bottle of juice (There's literally $2 bottles of decent on sale juice you could buy that would feed your nicotine habit for a month...TWO DOLLARS). And I'm talking vaping all day everyday you will still get a month out of one bottle. It's definitely harder to quit when it really doesn't affect your finances though so that's the downside, but if you're spending $500 a month you might as well make the jump...
My husband started the quitting process by switching to nicotine only. Buy online- the nothern are less than $4 a can. Even 3 cans a day would be $360 a month rather than a grand.
It’s the act of doing it that has to be replaced… the best example I ever heard was my friend’s dad replacing the smoking when the desire occurs with getting up and grabbing an apple. He replaced a bad habit with a healthy one. My husband went for a run every time he wanted to light up a cigarette. It can be harder if there is a lot of time in the car. But quitting cold Turkey is a must.
Have never understood the desire to buy anything at a gas station other than gas. Or to ever shop at 7-11/party stores. I have some kind of built in repulse reaction to the idea. (In full honesty - there might have been a time or two where I planned poorly for a road trip and bought coffee. But that is often a price-leader at gas station stores.
LOL an addict isn't going to earn an extra $1,000 just to go towards his addiction. Ramsey needs to bring an addiction expert as a personality for calls like these. Ken, George, and Deloney are not equipped to handle addiction calls.
Did he have this habit before they met? What made her think starting a family would change him (which fails more than in is successful)? Does she understand with him being an adult she can’t make him quit?
Dude won't have a jaw or throat left at that rate. I chewed for several years and smoked at the same time (lot of that was college years) so I know it can be tough. I quit cold turkey and haven't had anything in 12 years.
Is he substituting it for ADHD meds? Their are a few ADHD meds that might help kill the addiction. Most with ADD will self medicate if it’s severe and not treated
I wonder if its an Oral Fixation Addiction more than Nicotine Addiction. If food and snacks play into this and patches didnt help, try asking him to switch thd chewing gum. It would statisfy the oral fixation at a fraction of the cost.
ON! nicotine pouches. Half the price, same amount/more nicotine. Nicotine isn't that bad for you, the delivery system is what gets ya. If he doesn't want to quit himself, you can't force him. I don't think that their is some deep down mental issue all because he's using tobacco lol. I love how most people these days jump right into mental health problems for everything instead of just realizing that some people just straight up enjoy it. Just like others who enjoy their over priced morning coffee, a glass of wine after work, going out for steak on fridays etc...
Actually nicotine is what causes a lot of heart disease. It damages arteries. Former smoker and 2 heart attack survivor here. Smoke, tar and chemicals get your lungs, nicotine ruins your heart and blood vessels.
2:10 "Why don't the (nicotine) patches work?" Ask any tobacco smoke/chewer and they will tell you the patches and gum are crap. Its like quit eating steak and eggs and switch to 2 slices of plain bread and basic butter with a glass of water. Big difference but both are food
I was spending 300 a month on nicotine gum for the past 5 years. Just quit 7 days ago. Probably spent 50k on cigs, vapes, and gum. Never start smoking kids it's not worth it and it's near impossible to quit.
I tried to quit smoking for the last 10 years. It is hard. It is not so easy as to say to stop. It is not a money or marriage issues as these 2 are making it out to be. It's not like he isn't contributing to the house.
The first step would be finding the same things he buys in the gas station but at a cheaper location (e.g. online, grocery store). That way you can at least cut this price in half while also getting him the mental health he needs.
Forget the financial side for just a second. Chewing tobacco is a threat to his long-term health at the rate you're describing. NOTHING is more important than your health. I'd rather be poor and healthy than rich and unhealthy.
This is Bad, bad BAAAAD. While what he is doing is irresponsible, she is monitoring his finances by "taking control" of the bank account. This is not a way to resolve this, this is the road to resentment and eventual divorce.
Nicotine addiction is no joke. I smoked for decades and just quit 3 years ago. I've heard people say it's harder to quit than opioids because there's a gas station on every corner. The caller really needs to decide if this is a hill she wants to die on, because this whole nagging, "taking over his bank account", etc. is going to drive a wedge between them, and at the end of the day, we all have "addictions" (I say as I pour myself another cup of coffee), just some of them are more socially acceptable than others. He sounds like a good guy that works hard and provides. She needs to decide if this is going to be an "ultimatum moment". Maybe it needs to be, but she needs to make the conscious decision... is my life better with him AND the addiction, or without him.
Wise words. Tobacco is extremely addictive, not just the nicotine. There are thousands of additives in tobacco products that are designed to make them more addictive. Brain chemicals are altered, particularly dopamine and serotonin. It is very hard to quit.
My dad smoked in our vehicles and around us in the 90s... I don't smoke but I can still feel the pull of it even today. The big thing stopping me from smoking is it's just so nasty and the lunge cancer is no joke.
My dad smoked 4 packs cigarette a day. Tried to quit many, many times. He developed lung cancer. He made a remark to me that trying to quit smoking was worst than death.
My father was a life-long snuff user. He never tried to quit, never wanted to quit, and never would have quit. Luckily he was also a big time cheapskate, so he bought the 10 packs of generic brands. I'm pretty sure he used a can every 2 or 3 days though, I cannot imagine 3 cans a day. That's wild.
We do our best to stay away from the corner stores. We might use them when we travel but only if we didn’t properly prepare for the trip. Such a high price for convenience.
@jacobrodriguez7771 That’s the point. You know they won’t do a side hustle just to support the habit. John’s idea is that no-side hustle, no-habit money but likely the husband won’t care for this ultimatum (esp since it seems he is the bread winner in the family). Ultimately the Husband needs to realize how devastating this habit is not just on his wallet but on his health as well, and take steps to slowly remove this addiction from his life. Ex. Slowly dwindling down the dosage over time.
I agree, that is a silly approach. If i were the caller, i would be preparing myself to live independently. I would communicate to my chewing husband how much it bothers me, financially and physically. I would let him know how much i love him, how much i want him to live a long life, but that there may come a time that he will lose me. I may not be able to continue to tolerate it forever. This way, i am being honest. I have a backup plan for myself. And i wont be monitoring his addiction. Essentially freeing myself.
For those who don't know, nicotine is frequently used to self-medicate ADHD before diagnosis and proper meds. Caffeine too. And unfortunately, alcohol.
Buy a coffee machine that will automatically make your coffee every morning... Pour that in a big thermas jug and take a long a smaller cup. Easy peasy.
Whether it is drugs, tobacco, gambling, alcohol, etc. I don't understand how a person can stay with another and overlook an addiction when it's harmful BUT if your partner has an affair most people can't forgive and they leave. As I like to tell people who are with addicts, I remind them that their partner is cheating on you everyday with tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc. They care more about their fix than they do about you.
@chazmcgooski83 People are free to do what they will but I hope people don't fool themselves to think that cheating is only with another human being. You can "cheat" on your loved one with an addiction such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, social media, gambling, etc.
She's in a tough spot and since he doesn't listen it's even worse because she's a (i think) SAHM with no income so no way to get ahead unless she gets a job. Good luck making him work more if he doesn't listen now. That sucks for her and the kids. Counseling or she's gonna end up taking total control of the $ and be the mommy giving put an allowance or divorce.
People, there is nothing to figure out. Having been there with cigarettes I can tell you this is an addiction just like any other drug. When a person really wants to, they will stop. One day after 40 Years of smoking I decided that was enough and never looked back. Good luck to the young lady and her husband. Sometimes prayer is the only thing that will work
@butchnoneed4883 perhaps I did not put enough emphasis on the word really I did not mean for that to sound light because it was not easy at all. I am really and truly sorry for your ex-wife .
What a disgusting habit. Knew a guy that literally put half the can in his mouth at once and he had a bottle under his dash that he attached with Velcro so he could spit while driving.
Unfortunately, the tobacco and spending are only the symptons of a much deeper problem. Tobacco is tough bc its mostly socially acceptable and available.
I kicked my cigarette habit with David's Sun Flower Seeds. The back and forth hand motion is part of the addiction. Try that for a couple months and see if that will help an addicted smoker.
cut it to two cans, then one can, then a can every other day. tapering worked for me. If you tell yourself you can "never have it" you won't quit. I went from two packs of marb reds, to one pack of marb lights, to a pack every few days, and right now it's a pack once every other month. I feel like I can still enjoy it without the "need to have it." Now, it's more social than anything else.
Side note: remember back in the day when our parents would smoke in cars with us kids in the backseat and the fact that cars came equipped with ash trays in the front and back seats? 😂
There's no way to force an addict to quit. That's why people set their own boundaries and often end up leaving them. As frustrating as it can feel, she needs to nurture/influence/support any steps he takes in the right direction and hope it snowballs. And as Dave would say, she can deliver pizzas at night once he gets home to watch the kids and make $1500/month...
First, since the bank accounts are separate, you need to make sure he doesn't have a side girlfriend and using tobacco purchases for the money gone from the account. If it is all tobacco, this needs to be addressed as an addiction. There are two parts of a nicotine addiction, the physical addiction and the habit. Aids like the patch address the physical addiction so you can focus on changing the behavior. If he can't change the behavior, nothing is going to work.
Nicotine gum worked for me when I quit 10 years ago. Not having something to do with my mouth is why patches didn't work. But he has to want to quit. Conversations with my dentist is what led me to that point.
Tell him that you are going to match every dollar he spends on Chewing Tobacco with a life insurance dollar on him. The less he spends the less you will spend.
Well, she probably assumed that having kids (which he is supposed to love and do anything for as a parent) would be enough of an incentive not to be waste money and harm his health. Men could, you know, grow up and be adults instead of useless little toddlers.
Put it in terms he can understand. Since he's an HVAC guy, try to stay below three syllable words. 🤣 We no can afford one thousand dollars a month. That a house payment, or car payment on new corvette (oh yeah, I forgot, HVAC guy) or duramax with Carolina squat. Quit your shit or I leave, take kids go mom's.
Man, this call got to me. Im a smoker and my wife has been begging me to quit and ive really tried but i always fall back into it. So many ppl at work smoke and my job is extremely stressful so i always end up stepping outside with them. I dont even smoke at home, just at work. Any tips from those that have successfully quit out there to hold myself accountable and fight the urge while at work?
Ouch. I don't get it. I am what most people would call wealthy, and I would never, ever, allow for such a recurring cost on something so pointless and even harmful. It reminds me of how, at least in modern times, nearly all the smokers are low wage earners.
great she reached out but this channel isnt the place for the problem at hand. he is an addict and until he acknowledges it fully he will never overcome his addiction no matter how many attempts they try to fix. he needs to go NA meetings cause unless the whole family hits rock bottom financially it wont be a nasty awakening.
You guys are totally missing to issue. He will never quit until he finds an inspiration to quit which is more powerful than the addiction. Maybe it is his kids? Maybe it's financial, love for his wife.....Whatever it is, it MUST be more powerful. Nicotine is a very powerful drug and you gotta want to quit more than anything to break that addiction.
This isn’t a financial conversation. This an addiction conversation
My brother smokes 2 packs a day and lives off junk food. Per his words, he doesn't care if he lives or dies. He knows his lifestyle is killing him.Until you change their mindset, they won't change.
Sounds like he’s depressed. Treat that and things might look a little different for him in the light of day. ♥️
i hope he can get help and find a better path.
Some are just wired this way. It's their way of coping with reality. In order for those like this to"undo" a lifestyle as such will take something life altering.
Whoa baby. This is awful.
It's very sad. I had a co-worker who started smoking in high school, and sustained a habit of doing that of two packs each day until he starting coughing up blood while he was at work. The doctors diagnosed him with stage 4 lung cancer at age 46 and he passed away from it a year later. We kept trying to get him to quit, but his life was rather stressful and he didn't want to at least give it a try.
As soon as she said he was an HVAC tech I couldn’t help but chuckle… coming from a fellow hvac tech as well
yeah my s.o is in hvac and was chewing tobacco for his whole life basically. zyn was the one thing that made him stop the tobacco part. we still spend about 100$ a month on zyn but its better than the tobacco
As an HVAC tech I totally hear myself in this call. I’m a heavy smoker who is stopping at gas stations blowing money on snacks and drinks. It’s easy to say that it’s part of the lifestyle of driving around in a truck from job to job all day. But I don’t even want to imagine how much I’ve spent. Recently married. I will be more conscious of how this might affect my wife. Good luck to this guy.
Same here that's how I got started, I am in a blue collar job and every morning we'd all stop at the gas station and load up on junk it was just part of the routine
@@nemesis656 stay strong brother. I’m 5 days clean of smoking. 🙏🏻
I believe it. EVERY time I’m there people are dropping 20 to 50 bucks on junk food and scratch offs. 3 cans a day? He won’t live very long at this rate
Slow suicide…
The things manufacturers put in chewing tobacco and dip are nasty. In 100 years people are going to think of it the way we think of the Victorians padding their bread with arsenic
I wonder if he even wants to live
@@blaisetelfer8499just a little fiberglass
I'm surprised he has any teeth or gums left. Especially going through 2-3 cans a day. That's crazy.
Wish John Delony had been there for this call. I think these two tried their best, but they're not the most qualified on mental health.
Anyone who spents that much money on something that is destroying his body is just IRRESPONSIBLE.
I liked the comment but realize I spend 600-800 dollars a month on fast food lol
Once you get cancer you're going to be spending thousands in medical bills I watched my dad's best friend died at age 55 my sister-in-law at 55... from lung cancer from cigarettes
You can’t. He has to be ready. It’s a drug. It’s mental. The chemicals in his brain is expecting this.. almost similar to alcohol
It’s not her fault it’s his issue. She will never be able to solve it for him.
Similar to alcohol but worse
Mental and physical. It's beyond just Mental. With tobacco there's a huge physical aspect of it also.
I hope they at least know better and never give the “quit cold turkey” advice to an alcoholic.
@@jmeboilunless you’re the type of severe alcoholic that you’re drinking 24/7, quitting cold turkey is safe physically. It’s only a danger if your drinking is so frequent that your body has severe tremors when you’re sober.
It’s so hard when you have addictions to be financially responsible.
You need to pack him lunch and drinks in a cooler. I used to spend 15 dollars a day just in drinks and food while working. You have a hard job you can drink 4 Gatorades a day. I started packing food and would buy the big packages of Gatorade at walmart and bottles of water and it saved me a lot of money.
Yep, this and getting him to leave his debit card at home so he doesn’t have the option to stop and spend at the gas stations
Gatorade is garbage. Water is all you need during work. I also drink milk which has high protein and other good things and coffee.
@@musicman7297 I agree, I only got one sometimes 2 but even bottled water is 1.89 now at a convenience store.
He is an adult, he can pack his own lunch.
Addiction is Addiction that which use to bring you pleasure now brings pain and you can't stop. ❤
Actually George, she signed up for exactly what she has….
My mom was a 2-pack a day smoker, starting at age 16. At age 65, she was diagnosed with throat cancer. She quit smoking for one day, then continued the 2-pack a day habit right through 2 weeks of daily radiation treatment. She died in her sleep at age 70 of respiratory failure.
I feel for her. My ex husband was an awful alcoholic. Reason he's an ex husband. He refused to stop. When you drink a 30 pack every 2 days...you have a problem. Also when the liquor store people know you on a first name basis!
Hey! I like being friendly with the peeps that hook me up.
Women love to pick losers to have kids with then play the victim
I feel for her. My husband has been a smoker for 30 years. It has been a big wedge between us, financially and relationally. It’s taken me 20 years to learn to not say anything but instead pray for him. He has now been cigarette free for 6 weeks. I continue to pray for complete freedom from it. He said it’s still a struggle every single day. I wonder how long until it isn’t as much of a struggle?
I hope he succeeds! Congratulations on his six weeks!
Years.
I would say at least 2 years
I smoked 2 packs a day for over 30 years. Quit cold turkey after a heart attack. Was 9 months of hell, but it DOES get better. He needs the mind set that I can NEVER have even one again. No matter where it takes him. There may be anger, depression, anxiety, insomnia. Its all part of the brain rewiring itself. It takes months in many people. Everyone is different. For some its worse than others.
@@songsjj the same with my husband. It took him, having a heart attack to quit smoking. He's lucky to be alive
It's a simple choice. Quit. I don't care what folks say about it being a tough addiction to quit. You decide you're gonna do it... and you do it. No excuses. I smoked for 27 years and one day decided "This is stupid" ... and never had another. It's been 13 years now and still haven't had another. It's a choice, folks. Choose ...
I did the same thing after 40 Years of smoking cigarettes and have never looked back after 15 years plus. If I could quit anybody can quit so said my husband
@@brenda121143that’s not how addiction works. Just cause something worked for you doesn’t mean it’s going to work for the next person
I decided 12 months ago to stop using nicotine. Put it down and never picked it up again after multiple years of usage. I just wanted to quit so I did, I was offered, peer pressured, and I did enjoy it, but politely refused. It’s not a part of me anymore.
Well no some people can't quit ever!!!! That is like me telling everyone to get jobs that make 1 million per year!!!
I tell people "If I can quit, anybody can quit". Lifelong smoker who stopped one day, gave a carton of cigarettes away, that was 12 years ago.
You’re gonna think this is funny but try sunflower seeds! My husband wasn’t as bad but he stopped cold turkey for his family and has been doing really well. There are times he wants some but we never end up buying it. Highly recommend. Good luck to you and your family.
Or buy gym by the carton! Can't chew both at the same time!
I chewed tobacco for over 20 years. Several co-workers smoked. Our INSPIRATION TO QUIT tobacco was watching another co-worker whither away and die from esophageal cancer leaving his wife alone to raise their young son by herself...
The day I found out my dad had cancer I quit smoking cold turkey. Good for you
My mom was told that if she didn't quit smoking she wouldn't live to see her granddaughter grow up,, she quit right them and there. My mom is now 80 years old and that granddaughter, my daughter, is now 37 years old.
Do it for those who depend on you and need you to live into old age!
B/c of that little can, he had to leave his son to be raised fatherless. That’s a dark and powerful message.
Quitting smoking was a lot easier than quitting dip for me.
@@lot2196 Same here. There's a lot more than just nicotine that hooks you in cigs and definitely chew. Did the vaping thing for 6 months and kept lowering nicotine levels along the way. Best way that has worked for me. Honestly don't even miss it and gross spittoons everywhere but it took a while.
I'm tired of everyone shaming people's tobacco habit. If this man were addicted to having three cups of coffee a day, no one would say squat about it. They would merely look at reducing the cost associated with it. But once it's tobacco, everyone goes straight into quitting. If he wants to quit, then help. Otherwise, focus on cutting the cost of his tobacco consumption.
Coffee doesn't cause cancer. Chewing tobacco does.
currently 4 days on the nicotine patches myself. to the non-nicotine people, the act of smoking/chewing is the habit that is hard to kick. currently going through exactly what she was talking about and its hard, but I need to save money and live longer for my children. Thanks to Caleb, Money Guys, and the Ramsey show + my wife (of course), im getting my act together. One day at a time!
You can do it. I love to eat so I feel this!
Hang in there! And shout out to Caleb! Love to see it.
I dipped for about 10 yrs. And one day in 2018, I finished my last can of Grizzy Wintergreen. And I have never bought another can since. For a good year I had cravings. Until I didn’t notice them anymore, I loved a nice dip on a long car ride.
@caleb is goofy but he’s one of the best when it comes to budgeting finances🙌🏾
BS. I smoked a pack of cigs a day for several years. When I decided to quit, I just quit.
The ADHD and addiction link is strong and with chewing tobacco use it hits fills both the nicotine addiction and the extensive need to fidget to regulate the dopamine levels. My husband and I both have ADHD and addictive tendencies and learning to manage our neuro-spiciness through multiple adaptations, has made it much easier to kick habits in the very early stages.
Any tips?! Same thing here, but still have not found a way to remove addictions, have found that they transfer.
@Scarface_445 I'm addictively putting a puzzle together while I binge watch Ramsey. I'll be up until 2am doing it. Lol. But I'm sober 17 years, nic free 16 years, so puzzles are a good transfer for now. Previous transfers have been cross-stitch, making Christmas porch pots, painting, reading, colouring (made my own adult colouring book from a book of art paper from the thrift store), cooking, crosswords etc etc. Hope some of these ideas get your own creative juices flowing.
He doesn’t want to quit. Once he really wants too. He can do it cold turkey. I smoked 1.5 packs a day for 27 years. Once I finally said enough is enough-I quit!
I smoked cigarettes for 30 years. It’s tough to kick the habit. He’s gonna have to WANT to quit.
nasty habit. 2-3 cans per day is also insane.
2-3 cans is absurd. Even the most hardcore guys I’ve met aren’t over 2.
gas station stores are making a killing off this guy! 2-3 cans a day! Wow. My dad smoked for 20+years. Having the mindset to change is first. the buzz and comfort of tobacco is his comfort. Hope he stops soon and save his family $1k/month. thanks for sharing.
Not really. Not after the tax they pay, they barely break even on tobacco. 🤷
I can relate 100%
I spend $500 per month and I'm disgusted with myself ....as bad as cigarettes
Bro... I know you probably won't be into this just based on how it's looked at especially for adults but with the right vape setup you can get your nicotine fix for SUPER cheap. With a salt nicotine setup you can get at least a month out of a ~$12 bottle of juice (There's literally $2 bottles of decent on sale juice you could buy that would feed your nicotine habit for a month...TWO DOLLARS). And I'm talking vaping all day everyday you will still get a month out of one bottle. It's definitely harder to quit when it really doesn't affect your finances though so that's the downside, but if you're spending $500 a month you might as well make the jump...
@@ITheoreyvaping isn’t good for your health either but if you’re talking just from a financial perspective then yeah I guess lol
@@ITheorey I just noticed your response
I appreciate the feedback and will consider it.... while I can afford it I'm disgusted with myself
My husband started the quitting process by switching to nicotine only. Buy online- the nothern are less than $4 a can. Even 3 cans a day would be $360 a month rather than a grand.
I feel like a lot of these callers(or their relatives) have a problem with addiction....Its easy to say "QUIT" if you never been there before...
It’s the act of doing it that has to be replaced… the best example I ever heard was my friend’s dad replacing the smoking when the desire occurs with getting up and grabbing an apple. He replaced a bad habit with a healthy one. My husband went for a run every time he wanted to light up a cigarette. It can be harder if there is a lot of time in the car. But quitting cold Turkey is a must.
Have never understood the desire to buy anything at a gas station other than gas. Or to ever shop at 7-11/party stores.
I have some kind of built in repulse reaction to the idea.
(In full honesty - there might have been a time or two where I planned poorly for a road trip and bought coffee. But that is often a price-leader at gas station stores.
LOL an addict isn't going to earn an extra $1,000 just to go towards his addiction. Ramsey needs to bring an addiction expert as a personality for calls like these. Ken, George, and Deloney are not equipped to handle addiction calls.
As someone who uses chewing tobacco, its brutal to quit. One can of it is like 4 packs of cigarettes in terms of nicotine.
How many cigarettes do you think equals an average sized "pinch"?
is there even enough hours in the day to munch through all those cans? you gotta be pretty dedicated to be an addict!
@@roathripperHe's wasting a large portion of it, no doubt about it. A fat, 1/3rd can pinch should last 4 hrs.
Get a really good term life insurance policy, too. He won't be around too long at this rate.
Did he have this habit before they met? What made her think starting a family would change him (which fails more than in is successful)? Does she understand with him being an adult she can’t make him quit?
Dude won't have a jaw or throat left at that rate. I chewed for several years and smoked at the same time (lot of that was college years) so I know it can be tough. I quit cold turkey and haven't had anything in 12 years.
Is he substituting it for ADHD meds? Their are a few ADHD meds that might help kill the addiction. Most with ADD will self medicate if it’s severe and not treated
I wonder if its an Oral Fixation Addiction more than Nicotine Addiction. If food and snacks play into this and patches didnt help, try asking him to switch thd chewing gum. It would statisfy the oral fixation at a fraction of the cost.
He should atleast find a cheaper location to purchase his tobacco while he is still getting help to quit.. 32 dollar a day is just an insane amount.
Patches can't make you quit, you have to decide to quit.
ON! nicotine pouches. Half the price, same amount/more nicotine. Nicotine isn't that bad for you, the delivery system is what gets ya. If he doesn't want to quit himself, you can't force him. I don't think that their is some deep down mental issue all because he's using tobacco lol. I love how most people these days jump right into mental health problems for everything instead of just realizing that some people just straight up enjoy it. Just like others who enjoy their over priced morning coffee, a glass of wine after work, going out for steak on fridays etc...
Actually nicotine is what causes a lot of heart disease. It damages arteries. Former smoker and 2 heart attack survivor here. Smoke, tar and chemicals get your lungs, nicotine ruins your heart and blood vessels.
2:10 "Why don't the (nicotine) patches work?"
Ask any tobacco smoke/chewer and they will tell you the patches and gum are crap. Its like quit eating steak and eggs and switch to 2 slices of plain bread and basic butter with a glass of water. Big difference but both are food
You are way better off eating steak and eggs that eating carbohydrate filled bread.
I was spending 300 a month on nicotine gum for the past 5 years. Just quit 7 days ago. Probably spent 50k on cigs, vapes, and gum. Never start smoking kids it's not worth it and it's near impossible to quit.
I tried to quit smoking for the last 10 years. It is hard.
It is not so easy as to say to stop.
It is not a money or marriage issues as these 2 are making it out to be.
It's not like he isn't contributing to the house.
My husband smoked for 30 yrs. He finally quit. After he had a heart attack. Cardiologist told him, he's lucky to be alive.
These guys are not in their wheelhouse on this one. Smokers relapse rate is higher than heroin.
Yeah everyone here is acting like she doesn’t have any vices. I feel for the guy after his wife gets this “marriage”advice from some money gurus.
I knew of a guy who recently had his his intestines burst. He pretty much smoked and lived off soda. Sometimes people need a wake up call.
Takes less than $30/day to burn $10k/yr. Rachel Cruze posted that awhile ago and it stuck with me.
The first step would be finding the same things he buys in the gas station but at a cheaper location (e.g. online, grocery store). That way you can at least cut this price in half while also getting him the mental health he needs.
Go cold brother it's a habbit it not from the nicotine been there done that you got this
I smoked for forty years and did med's, patches, hypnosis you name it. Its mind set he has to make up his mind and do it.
Adding a family to the addiction didn’t help the problem?! Shocking!
*her calling John Deloney's show*
John: "hey...are you tired?"
"You don't feel safe, do you?"
“Write him a letter”
I knew a type 1 diabetic like that. He smoked and drank until he died. He would not stop for anything or anyone.
Forget the financial side for just a second. Chewing tobacco is a threat to his long-term health at the rate you're describing. NOTHING is more important than your health. I'd rather be poor and healthy than rich and unhealthy.
This is Bad, bad BAAAAD. While what he is doing is irresponsible, she is monitoring his finances by "taking control" of the bank account. This is not a way to resolve this, this is the road to resentment and eventual divorce.
Nicotine addiction is no joke. I smoked for decades and just quit 3 years ago. I've heard people say it's harder to quit than opioids because there's a gas station on every corner. The caller really needs to decide if this is a hill she wants to die on, because this whole nagging, "taking over his bank account", etc. is going to drive a wedge between them, and at the end of the day, we all have "addictions" (I say as I pour myself another cup of coffee), just some of them are more socially acceptable than others.
He sounds like a good guy that works hard and provides. She needs to decide if this is going to be an "ultimatum moment". Maybe it needs to be, but she needs to make the conscious decision... is my life better with him AND the addiction, or without him.
Wise words. Tobacco is extremely addictive, not just the nicotine. There are thousands of additives in tobacco products that are designed to make them more addictive. Brain chemicals are altered, particularly dopamine and serotonin. It is very hard to quit.
My dad smoked in our vehicles and around us in the 90s... I don't smoke but I can still feel the pull of it even today. The big thing stopping me from smoking is it's just so nasty and the lunge cancer is no joke.
@@TheFlyingZulusame..i grew up in the 80’s and it was normal habit for parents to smoke with kids in the backseat..cars used to have ash trays lol
My dad smoked 4 packs cigarette a day. Tried to quit many, many times. He developed lung cancer. He made a remark to me that trying to quit smoking was worst than death.
4 packs a cigarettes a day?
For some it is that bad.
The easiest way to quit is to not have started in the first place. Tobacco consumption is straight up nasty in any form.
Why quit? 9 out of 10 doctors recommend Copenhagen.
My father was a life-long snuff user. He never tried to quit, never wanted to quit, and never would have quit. Luckily he was also a big time cheapskate, so he bought the 10 packs of generic brands. I'm pretty sure he used a can every 2 or 3 days though, I cannot imagine 3 cans a day. That's wild.
We do our best to stay away from the corner stores.
We might use them when we travel but only if we didn’t properly prepare for the trip.
Such a high price for convenience.
The power of habit! Needs to change his habit loop but he has to want it.
Yeah genius idea, I’m sure after a hard day of doing HVAC work he’s just going to voluntarily go out and do a “side hustle”
He could do service calls on his own. He'd make a ton.
Really
@jacobrodriguez7771 That’s the point. You know they won’t do a side hustle just to support the habit. John’s idea is that no-side hustle, no-habit money but likely the husband won’t care for this ultimatum (esp since it seems he is the bread winner in the family). Ultimately the Husband needs to realize how devastating this habit is not just on his wallet but on his health as well, and take steps to slowly remove this addiction from his life. Ex. Slowly dwindling down the dosage over time.
I agree, that is a silly approach. If i were the caller, i would be preparing myself to live independently. I would communicate to my chewing husband how much it bothers me, financially and physically. I would let him know how much i love him, how much i want him to live a long life, but that there may come a time that he will lose me. I may not be able to continue to tolerate it forever. This way, i am being honest. I have a backup plan for myself. And i wont be monitoring his addiction. Essentially freeing myself.
@@semosancus5506 usually not allowed by employer
For those who don't know, nicotine is frequently used to self-medicate ADHD before diagnosis and proper meds. Caffeine too. And unfortunately, alcohol.
Addiction is hard. I spent more at starbucks and i really shouldn't
Buy a coffee machine that will automatically make your coffee every morning... Pour that in a big thermas jug and take a long a smaller cup. Easy peasy.
@@TheFlyingZulu yes, I bet it would even taste better too. It's a mental habit that I have to break
@@YoPhocFays Make it a challenge to go one day without. Then go back the next day. Then try for 2 days in a row. You can do it!
@LukeofAllTrades. thanks for the encouragement. I have to do something about it
Whether it is drugs, tobacco, gambling, alcohol, etc. I don't understand how a person can stay with another and overlook an addiction when it's harmful BUT if your partner has an affair most people can't forgive and they leave.
As I like to tell people who are with addicts, I remind them that their partner is cheating on you everyday with tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc. They care more about their fix than they do about you.
You tell people this everyday? You are judging people’s hearts and making a wild leap with the analogy.
I wonder what HER vices are..?
@chazmcgooski83 People are free to do what they will but I hope people don't fool themselves to think that cheating is only with another human being. You can "cheat" on your loved one with an addiction such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, social media, gambling, etc.
Is this about money or more importantly about saving someone’s life ?
How much does 3 cans a day cost? I have no idea about how much they charge for that.
She's in a tough spot and since he doesn't listen it's even worse because she's a (i think) SAHM with no income so no way to get ahead unless she gets a job. Good luck making him work more if he doesn't listen now. That sucks for her and the kids. Counseling or she's gonna end up taking total control of the $ and be the mommy giving put an allowance or divorce.
To be honest, the caller need to talk to a doctor or a specialist. Not theae guys. The wrong show 😔
People, there is nothing to figure out. Having been there with cigarettes I can tell you this is an addiction just like any other drug. When a person really wants to, they will stop. One day after 40 Years of smoking I decided that was enough and never looked back. Good luck to the young lady and her husband. Sometimes prayer is the only thing that will work
@butchnoneed4883 perhaps I did not put enough emphasis on the word really I did not mean for that to sound light because it was not easy at all. I am really and truly sorry for your ex-wife .
What a disgusting habit. Knew a guy that literally put half the can in his mouth at once and he had a bottle under his dash that he attached with Velcro so he could spit while driving.
He’s going to develop oral cancer in no time. They’re very deadly cancers.
Lol that’s a new one, gas station addiction
Unfortunately, the tobacco and spending are only the symptons of a much deeper problem. Tobacco is tough bc its mostly socially acceptable and available.
I kicked my cigarette habit with David's Sun Flower Seeds. The back and forth hand motion is part of the addiction. Try that for a couple months and see if that will help an addicted smoker.
Can you guys please stop calling an addictive drug a "medication" ??
cut it to two cans, then one can, then a can every other day. tapering worked for me. If you tell yourself you can "never have it" you won't quit. I went from two packs of marb reds, to one pack of marb lights, to a pack every few days, and right now it's a pack once every other month. I feel like I can still enjoy it without the "need to have it." Now, it's more social than anything else.
Wow we must be at a point today where many of us have forgotten how addictive smoking (& related) is. Its a drug, very difficult to quit.
If he chewed when she met him, she has nothing to complain about. She knew what she was getting.
he doesnt need to quit. just cut it to 2 or 3 tins a week --- ?
Imagine the education the kids could get if $12,000 a year were put towards their college fund.
Imagine the returns they could get if they put half that on the S&P 500 every year
Side note: remember back in the day when our parents would smoke in cars with us kids in the backseat and the fact that cars came equipped with ash trays in the front and back seats? 😂
Problem is he doesn't want to quit
For starters, she can help him by buying his chew in bulk rather than for full retail at the gas station!
There's no way to force an addict to quit. That's why people set their own boundaries and often end up leaving them. As frustrating as it can feel, she needs to nurture/influence/support any steps he takes in the right direction and hope it snowballs. And as Dave would say, she can deliver pizzas at night once he gets home to watch the kids and make $1500/month...
Or HE can deliver pizzas at night to make money to pay for his addictionn.
@@Lil-Whiskies or HE can dump her and not worry about it. It's a complicated dynamic.
@@grayandgray yeah not providing for your kids and dying of something preventable sounds like a good idea.
Increase your take home pay and buy in bulk online or discounters.
I dipped for 10 yrs. And then in 2018 I had to Pass a medical test. So I finished my last can and have never bought another can, again.
First, since the bank accounts are separate, you need to make sure he doesn't have a side girlfriend and using tobacco purchases for the money gone from the account. If it is all tobacco, this needs to be addressed as an addiction. There are two parts of a nicotine addiction, the physical addiction and the habit. Aids like the patch address the physical addiction so you can focus on changing the behavior. If he can't change the behavior, nothing is going to work.
Nicotine gum worked for me when I quit 10 years ago. Not having something to do with my mouth is why patches didn't work. But he has to want to quit. Conversations with my dentist is what led me to that point.
Tell him that you are going to match every dollar he spends on Chewing Tobacco with a life insurance dollar on him. The less he spends the less you will spend.
"I thought he would change when we have kids" why do some women think this way 😂
They just never get it. This has been a truth since the beginning of time.
Well, she probably assumed that having kids (which he is supposed to love and do anything for as a parent) would be enough of an incentive not to be waste money and harm his health. Men could, you know, grow up and be adults instead of useless little toddlers.
He needs to understand his responsibility that God assigned him here on earth.
Put it in terms he can understand.
Since he's an HVAC guy, try to stay below three syllable words. 🤣
We no can afford one thousand dollars a month. That a house payment, or car payment on new corvette (oh yeah, I forgot, HVAC guy) or duramax with Carolina squat. Quit your shit or I leave, take kids go mom's.
Can we also just admit that chewing tobacco is GROSS...?
Man, this call got to me. Im a smoker and my wife has been begging me to quit and ive really tried but i always fall back into it. So many ppl at work smoke and my job is extremely stressful so i always end up stepping outside with them. I dont even smoke at home, just at work. Any tips from those that have successfully quit out there to hold myself accountable and fight the urge while at work?
Ouch. I don't get it. I am what most people would call wealthy, and I would never, ever, allow for such a recurring cost on something so pointless and even harmful. It reminds me of how, at least in modern times, nearly all the smokers are low wage earners.
He doesn’t want to talk about it because he’s addicted. And this comes from a former two can a day Copenhagen user, but haven’t had a dip in 20 years.
great she reached out but this channel isnt the place for the problem at hand. he is an addict and until he acknowledges it fully he will never overcome his addiction no matter how many attempts they try to fix. he needs to go NA meetings cause unless the whole family hits rock bottom financially it wont be a nasty awakening.
You guys are totally missing to issue. He will never quit until he finds an inspiration to quit which is more powerful than the addiction.
Maybe it is his kids? Maybe it's financial, love for his wife.....Whatever it is, it MUST be more powerful. Nicotine is a very powerful drug and you gotta want to quit more than anything to break that addiction.
I worked at a convenience store for years, he's buying scratch offs, not chew. He's gambling the money away.
Never give up. Addiction counseling can help.