I guess it’s no wonder why that brother is still single in the first story. Not because he goes out hitting on teenagers but he has a mindset of a teenager
I always feel like that's way more likely than when people say that they're just trying to go after women who have learned not to take that kind of crap. It just seems too intelligent LOL
The people saying the leftover bandits were just the result of a "miscommunication" are probably the people who do that sort of theft. Never in my life has anyone ever assumed that an invitation to "help themselves" meant for ONE guest/family to take EVERYTHING. Only people who have done that themselves would ever try to defend that - at least, that's the only rational reason I can come up with for why ANYONE would try to defend such greedy, selfish behavior. OP got gas-lit by the comments.
My sister and her husband used to do that, when they were invited over for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. All of the leftovers would be packed up in my mother's Tupperware and disappear. Then again she would also just drop by and graze through the freezer whenever she felt like it, to get something to feed her family for dinner. Eventually my mother wised up and she went no contact.
I wanna know where these ziplock bags came from. Taking back your untouched food, that's pretty normal to me, filling all *provided* take home containers? Well they did say help yourself so whatever, but when you start bringing out your own stuff to take home things in, that's when you ask the host. In my mind the hubby provided a medium container per person MAX, maybe one per household, that's what I'dve done
Coming from an eastern European background there's always a conscious effort to be a gracious host and also to not be a greedy guest. You don't take anything unless the host enthusiastically hands you a box.
@@SergioBicerra Actually, the key phrase was "we told people to help themselves and then we left the kitchen". If you want leftovers then you put your own leftovers away at the same time that everyone else is doing so, just as OP figured out after reading the responses to her story. I thought it was hilarious when OP checked the kitchen after everyone had left, saw that everything was cleaned up and ASSUMED that they had leftovers put away. Who did she think had done that? The Thanksgiving Fairy?
It's not like they invited one other family over who then absconded with all the food. They had a mob of people over, invited those people to help themselves and then LEFT THE KITCHEN. I would bet most of the guests assumed that OP and her husband had already put aside what they wanted before they handed out containers to help with food transport.
@@hrobinson9701 Where did your comprehension fail because it's so very clear they said it was one specific relative and his family. Yes, they had multiple families over, but only ONE family, one relative and HIS family, took all the leftovers. ONE family.
@@impishrebel5969 No, husband only mentioned one family that took a lot of food. There is nothing in that exchange that says they were the only ones who took leftovers with them. That family took enough that husband could not help but take notice (though OP apparently saw nothing) but any number of people could have taken a few containers of food with them. One or two containers per family would have been expected and not noteworthy.
I am waiting for the moment when some entitled parent expects me to give up my seat. I would point and laugh at them every time they attempt to give me a dirty look for not getting their way. 😂😂
And when they start up with the nasty comments, call them out to their face, loudly, about being 💩 parents. Perhaps that will shame them enough to never pull that again.
I've had this experience. I quickly tried to nip the parents "request" in the bud, but they went on and on about how their toddler wouldn't calm down without the window seat. Mind you, I was flying across the country NY to TX for cancer treatment. I have a rare, virulent and aggressive fast growing form of breast cancer: Stage 3b inflammatory breast cancer. (I'm in remission now. Yay!) A really amazing cancer organization pays for flights for you and your caregiver to get you to specialized care centers. Because I was in the middle of chemotherapy, I had no immune system. So, a few seats around me were reserved so that no one would be sitting right by me. Obviously, I was also masked up and the flight was far from full. But, these parents just bee lined to my row of seats. I really didn't want to explain my entire situation to them. I did, however, tell them how entitled they were and that if they know that their crotch goblin was inconsolable without a window seat, they should have reserved a bloody window seat because trying to guilt others into giving their window seat up was tacking, gauche and wasn't hard to spot as the entitled greedy action that it was. They were steamingly pissed off. Luckily, the flight attendant who was in charge of assisting me, not that I needed anything, saw what was happening and that they were entirely too close to me dragged them away and to their actual seats like 5 rows back. I guess they thought 2 young women would be a good mark. Nope, were NY'ers!
The reason they got the seats they did, us because they deliberately didn't want to pay the booking up charge, so they got a random allocation. Same people want to punish you for your foresight, by a) taking your seat b) not even offer to pay you back the reservation fee. Families like this deliberately go cheap, and try to emotionally blackmail people. Notice how the parents wanted to sit together, and wanted you to deal with the tantrum
The second story, the OP is *NOT* the arsehole. The parents need to learn "piss poor planning on your part, does *NOT* constitute an emergency on my part."
This was a case of irresponsible behaviour on the parents part you don’t stick a 6 year old beside a stranger then the parents sit together then try and steal said strangers seat
Window seat Story. I'm a mother and I would never expect people to give me anything because my kid has tantrum. I'm baffled about people like this. Also, my child is 3 and autistic and he behaves much better than this. His tantrums are almost always him being overwhelmed and a hug usually calms him.
I think unfortunately parents like you are becoming a rarity, so many don’t want to put in the effort to work with their kids and help them learn how sometimes you don’t get what you want, like the window seat. They’d rather peer pressure and guilt people than be the parents they’re supposed to be.
@fallingawayfromthenorm It can't be a rarity because when I go out, my kid is making more of a scene than most kids. Not that he always makes a scene. I mean, I almost never see or hear kids being a-holes. So, when one is having a tantrum, it is like a huge scene. Maybe the area where I live is more old school that way. I don't know. For example, I was a city activity with hundreds of kids, and nobody seemed to be out of line or even loud. My kid started getting overwhelmed and was the only one crying among tons of kids. So, there's still hope.
@@kirksnowden8023saying that to ANYONE you don’t know is creepy. Age is not the only factor. She could have been 30 and they’d be creepy and out of line.
Help yourself doesn't mean take everything that is a group family chat and say since the perpetrators had taken all the food and said nothing and quietly left that Christmas and other holidays will no long be at op's house and are canceled until the a-holes who walked out with a months food budget of leftovers are no longer invited to any and all family gathering that op hosts ....but I'm petty and vindictive 😂
Thank you! I don't know what those commenters were smoking, but they are not true friends. If I ask a friend to come with/help me pick an outfit, for whatever occasion, I want their opinion on how it looks. Not some little white lie to placate me. If it's not flattering to my body, I want to know.
Story 3: NTA. Why the hell didn't the husband stop them??? That was not miscommunication it was a total lack of consideration. F the victim blamers. Host Christmas but lock up the leftovers.
but yeah, this is what i wonder too... like... Daddy gets to keep HIS window seat... but hey here's a total stranger - of COURSE they should give up their seat for our brat. And always pushing more likely because OP is a female too. If OP was a male, there would not be such an expectation to give up your seat for "but she's just a kid" UGH.
Likely because they had no window seat. As described, it was likely a plane with 2 aisles and a middle row. Mum and dad sat in the middle row, in the middle and aisle facing seats. Kiddo sat in the aisle seat next to a window seat.
My son had a tantrum because he wanted a window seat. He sat in the middle being huffy, then fell asleep five minutes later. Problem with parents today is they don't let their kids throw a tantrum. Leftovers, that was a lot of leftovers. If you want more than one meal, ask first. Wedding story, don't ask for an honest opinion if you don't want an honest opinion. If you want support than ask for that!
Kids and window seats are like dogs and chew toys. They're interested for like 5-10min, then doing something else that distracts. But try taking it away even though they're clearly uninterested in it, and they'll try to bite your hand off. Or put a pricetag on it. _"Sure, I'll switch... 500bux... in cash... payable now."_
But in the highly unlikely scenario where they pay up, now OP is sitting between the kid and her parents. Which makes the kid OP's problem. Just say no from the start and ignore the family from that point on.
Husband said "help yourself" and then left the kitchen. Anyone with sense knows that you put away the food you want to keep BEFORE you tell everyone else to help themselves. It took reddit responses to wake OP up to that notion. She must not have hosted in the past or this would not have been a surprise.
@@hrobinson9701 And anyone with sense would have enough comprehension to actually listen and understand it was only one relative and his family that took ALL the food.
@@impishrebel5969 No, husband only talked about one family that took a lot of food. There is nothing in that exchange that says they were the only ones who took leftovers with them. That family took enough that husband could not help but take notice (though OP apparently saw nothing) but any number of people could have taken a single container of food with them.
I don't think any of them had a window seat. It was probably a plane with 2 aisles and a middle row. 2 seats by the window, 3 in the middle, and then 2 more window seats on the other side. The family only had middle/aisle seats on the same row.
Yup, thank you came here to say this, also why wouldn't you default to that anyway? Why would you let your child sit next to a stranger instead of a parent?
@@dbzgtgirl41092 Even worse, if OP had given in to the demands for the window seat, she would now be sitting between the child and her parents. That basically sets up a situation where the kid is now OP's problem to deal with.
Trying to force someone to switch seats is a common scam. Why spend extra money when you can force someone else to change seats. And on the leftovers, no one in my family would cart out all the leftovers. That's not polite or sane.
The 2nd story had a repeat in a flight in Brazil which went viral after a 3rd party recorded a video of the situation shaming the person on the window seat… Thankfully everybody defended that person, and shamed the family and the 3rd party who inserted themselves in the situation for online brownie points
Thanksgiving Leftover Story: Do not host Christmas. That was so messed up what they did, very selfish. I had a Friendsgiving meaning everyone brought something for the meal, drinks, etc. At the end I told everyone to help themselves to as much leftovers as they’d like then went to rest bc prego and hosting wore me tf out. You know what they did while I took a breath? Made sure that I had stuff leftover. Everyone left with something and my hubby and I were left with food too! Enough leftovers for two dinners each plus desserts and a whole bottle and a half of nonalcoholic wine. The problem wasn’t OP and the husband saying “help yourselves”, the problem was the selfish guests leaving the hosts with jack all.
Second story... "Some people have no heart" Reply should have been, "I know, some parents really don't know that their kids are not the center of everyone's world, especially when the parents don't plan ahead"
Pretty sure they understood; they didn't fork out for their own preferred seating, after all. They were hoping to browbeat someone into doing what they wanted because "she just a child".
Always fascinating to understand that lying to women is evil, except when their feelings might get hurt, then you lie because “duhhh!” But then if she looks terrible at her wedding it’s also your fault later. Are women adults or toddlers? I’m fascinated by how the rules for men are like, “suck it up bro, face the real world and cope.” And then the rules for women are, “she’s a princess, you have to treat her like a princess, and if she gets upset later when she’s informed she’s not royalty? Apologize and comfort her.”
Have no heart?? Like if a kid got hurt and you pointed and laughed that might be a more valid response from the mother, but not enabling a tantrum is just the village helping raise a kid.
No one in that family had a window seat. Maybe you have only flown on small planes but the big ones have a whole section of seats in between two aisles and no one in those seats gets to sit beside a window. That said, I question parents who would seat their young child across the aisle from them, beside a stranger. One of the parents should have been beside OP but then they wouldn't be able to try to manipulate OP into giving up her seat "for the child".
Which I think OP should’ve told her mom instead of what she said. Cathy makes everyone uncomfortable and as commenters said, OPs family isn’t a band aid for her grief.
Kathy never had children because she's naturally uptight. Can we give this woman a round of applause for never bowing to pressure (especially considering her generation) and becoming a mother knowing she's be bad at it? Wouldn't it be nice if more adults made the first major parenting decision of not being parents? Also, Kathy is a little passive aggressive. Big whoop! The 3-year-old is not going to catch on to that. So OP should stop taking it personally and leave her mother to hang out with her sister at a party centered around a toddler.
The kid won't remember, OP will, and she's not beat. So, I'll applaud OP, who is not bowing to Their Pressure. She can hang out with her and act crappy at someone else's house.
NTA for telling the bride-to-be the dress wasn't as flattering as they thought - why ask someone to come with you dress-shopping if you don't want their opinion? If your own opinion is the only one that matters to you, go on your own.
"I guess I thought you were more than you really are." This was almost a non-issue until brother snapped off that lil' nugget. Oof, and then it got worse! NTA.
Not defending the slorbs who emptied out the food, but didn't The Opie notice people walking out with dufflebags filled with food? And the U-Haul backed up to the front door should've been another clue.
Story 1. Just knowing the age gap between Sasha and Op's older brother is creepy. The things he said to make it even worse. Dont think there was any miscommunication. Sasha wasnt old enough to drink alcohol at age 19 ( if in USA) & he basically said he would happily supply her with some. which is a huge red flag. think the last thing was an even more creepy saying of his. Glad she blocked him & told OP. Dont see how OP is in the wrong for calling bro out for his creepy behavior. Something is truly wronf with your parents for thinking his behavior is ok. Be careful OP.
Left over story: I think OP rolled over on this way too fast. Who the hell goes to a party and takes what sounds like 1-2 weeks worth of leftovers. Like screw this “well you offered containers” BS. Like is this family member struggling to put food into their families mouths? No? Then don’t walk off with hundreds of dollars worth of food.
Much easier for the parents to scold OP for embarrassing their brother than have the uncomfortable conversation with their son about creeping on 19yr old girls I guess. Or worse, they don't see an issue. Age aside, she has the right to not want to date him and he was still in the wrong for insulting her over that. What stellar people OP's family are, approving such gross predatory behaviour.
Story 1: LOOOL oh dear, Op pointed out how her creepy, golden child brother isnt the saint her family thinks he is😂 No Op you are soooooo NTA here, and yes actually he DID deserve to be called out😂😂
I’ve given up my seat on planes before. Mostly to dodge my own family😂😂 but I’ve also said no many times. When people try xyz, I get a bit snarky. lol I’m disabled on many fronts, don’t try to use that one on me.
I'm a widow. Neither of my kids live in the area. I refuse to impose on other people's celebrations. If they invite me, that's one thing. But if they don't, I'm able to do things on my own. Thanksgiving was just me and the dog. The only time I have gone to something that I wasn't entirely comfortable going to was because my niece, who works in the bakery department of a local supermarket, asked if I was going to her Uncle's house for Easter. I know him, have no problem with him, but wasn't planning on going. But, it was my birthday and I had a feeling she'd planned on getting me a cake. So I went. And yes, she got me a cake. 😂
Exactly! And OP never said the dress was 'ugly'. The bride said that OP said it. OP only said that it didn't suit the bride. The bride is a drama queen
I had the opposite of the last story. Since becoming a widow I secretly wished to just stay at home for xmas and do nothing but eat my delicious food and do absolutely nothing, instead every year I'm constantly being nagged to join various family friends. This year it's even worse, my son has accepted three invitations without thinking of what to say to the other two.🤪
Leftover story - my sister-in-law packs up leftovers for the guests. If there’s something special you liked you just need to mention it. Otherwise everyone gets a little bit of everything. I find the turkey wings the best part.😂
Who has the guts and feels so shameless to take ALL the food? Even when it's excused with "Help yourself". I wouldn't be able to look host in the eye next time we met if I left their house with more food than I ate AT the party.
Airplane tantrum: It blows my mind that they encouraged the tantrum, and would’ve been fine with a stranger between them and their kid. Why didn’t a parent switch seats. They’d still be next to each other.
The wedding dress story, this is clearly the case of "Don't ask questions you clearly don't want to hear the answers to". Lily asked for OP's opinion and she gave it, if she wanted OP to lie then she should have stated that. OP is not rude, Lily asked, OP gave her honest opinion. But I guess instead of saying it's ugly on Lily, OP could have said it just doesn't look that good on her or something like that. OP is NTA. The last story, the comment that said OP's mom wasn't being manipulative. Yes, she was, she was trying to make OP feel bad so yes, she was being manipulative. OP is NTA. The party was for a toddler not a grown adult.
1st story- Your friend did the right thing and blocked a guy she didn't like. Her reasons are her own as to why she didn't like him. But instead of talking to him about you shamed him at a relatives dinner about texting a girl that is of legal age. I'm sure if it were Justin Bieber or Harry Styles though it'd be okay or maybe even welcomed. As long as he goes no further why should anyone say anything. OP is the AITA
I think that your mom is over-including Cathy. You might want to call Cathy directly, she may not really want to be there, and might only be coming because she feels like she has to.
Story 1-YTA. Look, the friend is an Adult. Not like she is under age. Don't infantilize an adult woman. Why you shame him? What if you hit one someone and their sibling spreads it around and shames you. The Op needs to grow up. The brother didn't specifically talk about her friend so there was no reason op should go off
@@lalvarez5151 Date women in your own age bracket. An “adult” with no financial stability, maturity, or independence is not someone u should be dating when you have 10 yrs of adult life experience. Especially if u have to buy them alcohol cus they’re under the legal drinking age ya creep.
Leftovers story: NAH. It’s one thing if guests brought their own Tupperware and took without asking but, when the host is literally giving out Tupperware and saying help yourselves, that comes off as “we don’t want leftovers”. This was clearly a lack of communication
And it sounds like this was the first time they’ve done this. However I feel like OP shouldn’t host for Christmas and tell them why when asked. While it seems like it’s not a habit of theirs to take everything, it was still rude.
Except the guests didn't just fill the provided containers. Some guests did and that was fine. But those containers ran out at some point. ONE family took back home the food they'd brought, food OTHER relatives (in-laws, so not direct either) brought and ALL the remaining leftovers from the hosts food. Using extra containers that weren't provided for the task. Without communicating with anyone about it. Can you imagine the audacity it takes to not doublecheck with anyone before they decide to take whole dishes and rummage through their host's drawers to find GALLON ZIPLOCK BAGS in order to take more food home?
St.2, sorry but i would never give up my seat, to anyone.. i have three kids, and I'd buy the seats before if they wanted window seats.. It's not anyone else's problem, what my kids want.. But my kids aren't treated like glass.. They aren't entitled..
Story 3: I'm autistic and dont get a lot of social cues but even I know that OP was tactless and rude, like how did you think that was going to go, also just gotta point out "not a style I personally like" who gives a rat's ass what you personally like? It's not your damn wedding dress, even if you think it's the ugliest dress in the world if your friend loved it then you stfu and smile with them.
Bride asked for Op's opinion. She told the truth. Why bring a friend to wedding shopping? Op didn't say her style, she stated her friend didn't look good in the wedding dress, the bride chose. A friend does that.
RE: Thanksgiving leftovers ESH Yes, making off with 20 pounds of mashed potatoes is a LOT. But you also said to help themselves and left them to it. If you want to make sure you have leftovers, you need to oversee the distribution of leftovers. Otherwise people will take advantage of your generosity. Also, it's not stealing/robbing if you told them to help themselves to the food.
@@lamosaures They reference seeing one family take a LOT. But they did leave other family members in there taking food as well. They just didn't see how much those other people took.
Wedding dress - your response should equal how your friend takes feedback. Some friends prefer brutally honest & others need to be coddled. You need to know your friend & respond accordingly.
When I've helped my sisters with their wedding dress shopping, I've always been honest but kind, however the point is to be a sounding board and help judge their own opinion. My sister absolutely loved one dress but the price was a bit out of her range. So we kept looking. Sometimes just having someone to validate their opinions is all that is needed
Stories like this one make it very hard for me to respect the average woman. My wife is shaking her head as well . She said I'm not a damn fragile snowflake if I ask for feedback I want my friends to be honest
Re: The Bridal Dress I'm actually confused by this. You say "when she showed you the dress she had chosen, but you introduce the story as helping her pick out her dress. If you're helping her pick out a dress, then you need to critique it and point out the fact that it isn't flattering to her figure. But if she's already chosen the dress, well, there's not much you can do but be supportive. because she's already paid money on the dress. Which was it?
What did your brother do that you are actually offended by? None of the comments to your friend are that bad. If it is the age, then that's your choice to not be ok with it. He isn't exactly old and she is 19 and perfectly capable to decide for herself what she is interested in. Which she did and I have absolutely zero problem with how she handled it. H literally asked her out. The only part I'm not ok with is his passive-aggressive response when rejected. Why not leave the issue right there? Your brother is right about women wanting dodgy men, this is nothing new. Thankfully not all women are like this but there are plenty of women who do. He made an incel comment - you sound pretty misandrist imo.
@juliearmfield2634 maybe. I don't know them personally. She might be extremely immature or extremely mature and he the same. Ages doesn't equate to stages. Everyone goes into different stages at different ages. As long as both people are at the same point and their is no abuse or coercion then age shouldn't matter imo. If one is manipulative then absolutely not, but the manipulation doesn't have to be the older person. I've seen several younger people intentionally go after older partners and manipulate and control them.
@B1ack_1otus23 lmao, yeah ok. I'm sure my husband of 23yrs, 24 years next month, together for 31 years and have been together since we were 14 and 15, the same man who is exactly my age (10 months of the year) agrees with you. Smh, maybe you should know a teeny piece of information before jumping to conclusions. Otherwise, you just look ridiculous.
I guess it’s no wonder why that brother is still single in the first story. Not because he goes out hitting on teenagers but he has a mindset of a teenager
And apparently the family enables him. He's gross
I always feel like that's way more likely than when people say that they're just trying to go after women who have learned not to take that kind of crap. It just seems too intelligent LOL
The people saying the leftover bandits were just the result of a "miscommunication" are probably the people who do that sort of theft. Never in my life has anyone ever assumed that an invitation to "help themselves" meant for ONE guest/family to take EVERYTHING. Only people who have done that themselves would ever try to defend that - at least, that's the only rational reason I can come up with for why ANYONE would try to defend such greedy, selfish behavior. OP got gas-lit by the comments.
My sister and her husband used to do that, when they were invited over for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. All of the leftovers would be packed up in my mother's Tupperware and disappear. Then again she would also just drop by and graze through the freezer whenever she felt like it, to get something to feed her family for dinner. Eventually my mother wised up and she went no contact.
I wanna know where these ziplock bags came from. Taking back your untouched food, that's pretty normal to me, filling all *provided* take home containers? Well they did say help yourself so whatever, but when you start bringing out your own stuff to take home things in, that's when you ask the host. In my mind the hubby provided a medium container per person MAX, maybe one per household, that's what I'dve done
Coming from an eastern European background there's always a conscious effort to be a gracious host and also to not be a greedy guest. You don't take anything unless the host enthusiastically hands you a box.
The key word in that story is when they said "help yourself to SOME leftovers" not ALL leftovers.
@@SergioBicerra Actually, the key phrase was "we told people to help themselves and then we left the kitchen". If you want leftovers then you put your own leftovers away at the same time that everyone else is doing so, just as OP figured out after reading the responses to her story.
I thought it was hilarious when OP checked the kitchen after everyone had left, saw that everything was cleaned up and ASSUMED that they had leftovers put away. Who did she think had done that? The Thanksgiving Fairy?
S1: guys hitting on teens is so fucking disgusting. He needs to be shunned.
Guys can be teens as well, it's grown adult men hitting on or making moves on teenage girls that are disgusting.
How pathetic do you have to be to take all the left overs? Unless the host insists you just take some. I’ve broke but never that pathetically broke
It's not like they invited one other family over who then absconded with all the food. They had a mob of people over, invited those people to help themselves and then LEFT THE KITCHEN. I would bet most of the guests assumed that OP and her husband had already put aside what they wanted before they handed out containers to help with food transport.
@@hrobinson9701 Where did your comprehension fail because it's so very clear they said it was one specific relative and his family. Yes, they had multiple families over, but only ONE family, one relative and HIS family, took all the leftovers. ONE family.
@@impishrebel5969 No, husband only mentioned one family that took a lot of food. There is nothing in that exchange that says they were the only ones who took leftovers with them. That family took enough that husband could not help but take notice (though OP apparently saw nothing) but any number of people could have taken a few containers of food with them. One or two containers per family would have been expected and not noteworthy.
I am waiting for the moment when some entitled parent expects me to give up my seat. I would point and laugh at them every time they attempt to give me a dirty look for not getting their way. 😂😂
right?
EP: do something nice!
Me: I’m a Bundt so no thanks
And when they start up with the nasty comments, call them out to their face, loudly, about being 💩 parents. Perhaps that will shame them enough to never pull that again.
I've had this experience. I quickly tried to nip the parents "request" in the bud, but they went on and on about how their toddler wouldn't calm down without the window seat. Mind you, I was flying across the country NY to TX for cancer treatment. I have a rare, virulent and aggressive fast growing form of breast cancer: Stage 3b inflammatory breast cancer. (I'm in remission now. Yay!) A really amazing cancer organization pays for flights for you and your caregiver to get you to specialized care centers. Because I was in the middle of chemotherapy, I had no immune system. So, a few seats around me were reserved so that no one would be sitting right by me. Obviously, I was also masked up and the flight was far from full. But, these parents just bee lined to my row of seats. I really didn't want to explain my entire situation to them. I did, however, tell them how entitled they were and that if they know that their crotch goblin was inconsolable without a window seat, they should have reserved a bloody window seat because trying to guilt others into giving their window seat up was tacking, gauche and wasn't hard to spot as the entitled greedy action that it was. They were steamingly pissed off. Luckily, the flight attendant who was in charge of assisting me, not that I needed anything, saw what was happening and that they were entirely too close to me dragged them away and to their actual seats like 5 rows back. I guess they thought 2 young women would be a good mark. Nope, were NY'ers!
The reason they got the seats they did, us because they deliberately didn't want to pay the booking up charge, so they got a random allocation. Same people want to punish you for your foresight, by a) taking your seat b) not even offer to pay you back the reservation fee. Families like this deliberately go cheap, and try to emotionally blackmail people. Notice how the parents wanted to sit together, and wanted you to deal with the tantrum
The second story, the OP is *NOT* the arsehole. The parents need to learn "piss poor planning on your part, does *NOT* constitute an emergency on my part."
Since the mother has a window seat, why doesn't she switch with the girl?
@peterhobson3262 because that's too logical of a solution.
This was a case of irresponsible behaviour on the parents part you don’t stick a 6 year old beside a stranger then the parents sit together then try and steal said strangers seat
@babybookworm003 you'd think that be the case, but apparently it happens to frequently.
#2: "Pay me. I paid extra for this seat. Your child is NOT my problem. You could have booked seats like I did."
Window seat Story. I'm a mother and I would never expect people to give me anything because my kid has tantrum. I'm baffled about people like this. Also, my child is 3 and autistic and he behaves much better than this. His tantrums are almost always him being overwhelmed and a hug usually calms him.
I think unfortunately parents like you are becoming a rarity, so many don’t want to put in the effort to work with their kids and help them learn how sometimes you don’t get what you want, like the window seat. They’d rather peer pressure and guilt people than be the parents they’re supposed to be.
@fallingawayfromthenorm It can't be a rarity because when I go out, my kid is making more of a scene than most kids. Not that he always makes a scene. I mean, I almost never see or hear kids being a-holes. So, when one is having a tantrum, it is like a huge scene. Maybe the area where I live is more old school that way. I don't know. For example, I was a city activity with hundreds of kids, and nobody seemed to be out of line or even loud. My kid started getting overwhelmed and was the only one crying among tons of kids. So, there's still hope.
Story #3: Some of those comments about miscommunication are pure bullshit!! They were just greedy!!
In that case, husband is to blame for watching that family just take everything
That “I would love to make you smile” is SO creepy!
Saying that is not creepy, saying that to a young girl with that type of intent is. You should be more concerned with the alcohol run for a minor.
@@kirksnowden8023saying that to ANYONE you don’t know is creepy. Age is not the only factor. She could have been 30 and they’d be creepy and out of line.
All of what he said was creepy and I hope the friend kept screenshots
I'm amazed he didn't say "you are so mature for your age"
How is that creepy? They are both adults. He's just trying to ask her out.
Help yourself doesn't mean take everything that is a group family chat and say since the perpetrators had taken all the food and said nothing and quietly left that Christmas and other holidays will no long be at op's house and are canceled until the a-holes who walked out with a months food budget of leftovers are no longer invited to any and all family gathering that op hosts ....but I'm petty and vindictive 😂
Her parents didn't pay for a window nor have they trained their hellion. Not OP's problem.
Brother was being a creep, NTA good on op for calling out their creepy behaviour.
Don't support controlling creeps who go after very young ladies.
Brother was trying to groom Sasha but she didn't want to play his game. Good on OP for pointing out how creepy he is.
Too many ppl want to be lied to. I prefer an honest friend, especially if they're truly looking out for me. OP is NTA
OP was NTA regarding telling her how it looked on her body. OP, IMO, was the AH for criticizing the dress because it wasn’t her style.
If a person I care for looks awful, I'm not lying.
Thank you! I don't know what those commenters were smoking, but they are not true friends. If I ask a friend to come with/help me pick an outfit, for whatever occasion, I want their opinion on how it looks. Not some little white lie to placate me. If it's not flattering to my body, I want to know.
Story 3: NTA. Why the hell didn't the husband stop them??? That was not miscommunication it was a total lack of consideration. F the victim blamers. Host Christmas but lock up the leftovers.
Why didn't the PARENTS swap seats?
because they didn't want to sit next to their obnoxious daughter lol
but yeah, this is what i wonder too... like... Daddy gets to keep HIS window seat... but hey here's a total stranger - of COURSE they should give up their seat for our brat. And always pushing more likely because OP is a female too. If OP was a male, there would not be such an expectation to give up your seat for "but she's just a kid" UGH.
Likely because they had no window seat. As described, it was likely a plane with 2 aisles and a middle row. Mum and dad sat in the middle row, in the middle and aisle facing seats. Kiddo sat in the aisle seat next to a window seat.
My son had a tantrum because he wanted a window seat. He sat in the middle being huffy, then fell asleep five minutes later. Problem with parents today is they don't let their kids throw a tantrum.
Leftovers, that was a lot of leftovers. If you want more than one meal, ask first.
Wedding story, don't ask for an honest opinion if you don't want an honest opinion. If you want support than ask for that!
Kids and window seats are like dogs and chew toys. They're interested for like 5-10min, then doing something else that distracts. But try taking it away even though they're clearly uninterested in it, and they'll try to bite your hand off.
Or put a pricetag on it. _"Sure, I'll switch... 500bux... in cash... payable now."_
But in the highly unlikely scenario where they pay up, now OP is sitting between the kid and her parents. Which makes the kid OP's problem. Just say no from the start and ignore the family from that point on.
@@hrobinson9701 They'd never pay up to begin with, so that's not really a concern.
The husband handed out containers. They left with those and gallon bags. That's overboard ah behavior.
Husband said "help yourself" and then left the kitchen. Anyone with sense knows that you put away the food you want to keep BEFORE you tell everyone else to help themselves. It took reddit responses to wake OP up to that notion. She must not have hosted in the past or this would not have been a surprise.
@@hrobinson9701 And anyone with sense would have enough comprehension to actually listen and understand it was only one relative and his family that took ALL the food.
@@hrobinson9701what if other families wanted leftovers? They took almost all if not all
@@impishrebel5969 No, husband only talked about one family that took a lot of food. There is nothing in that exchange that says they were the only ones who took leftovers with them. That family took enough that husband could not help but take notice (though OP apparently saw nothing) but any number of people could have taken a single container of food with them.
@@hrobinson9701I’m sorry but no. If you are at someone’s house for a meal and then take every last mouthful of the leftovers that incredibly rude
Story 2: I would have repeated that "could you trade, she's just a kid" comment right back to whichever parent had the window seat.
I don't think any of them had a window seat. It was probably a plane with 2 aisles and a middle row. 2 seats by the window, 3 in the middle, and then 2 more window seats on the other side. The family only had middle/aisle seats on the same row.
Yup, thank you came here to say this, also why wouldn't you default to that anyway? Why would you let your child sit next to a stranger instead of a parent?
@@dbzgtgirl41092 Even worse, if OP had given in to the demands for the window seat, she would now be sitting between the child and her parents. That basically sets up a situation where the kid is now OP's problem to deal with.
Trying to force someone to switch seats is a common scam. Why spend extra money when you can force someone else to change seats. And on the leftovers, no one in my family would cart out all the leftovers. That's not polite or sane.
The 2nd story had a repeat in a flight in Brazil which went viral after a 3rd party recorded a video of the situation shaming the person on the window seat…
Thankfully everybody defended that person, and shamed the family and the 3rd party who inserted themselves in the situation for online brownie points
Thanksgiving Leftover Story: Do not host Christmas. That was so messed up what they did, very selfish. I had a Friendsgiving meaning everyone brought something for the meal, drinks, etc. At the end I told everyone to help themselves to as much leftovers as they’d like then went to rest bc prego and hosting wore me tf out. You know what they did while I took a breath? Made sure that I had stuff leftover. Everyone left with something and my hubby and I were left with food too! Enough leftovers for two dinners each plus desserts and a whole bottle and a half of nonalcoholic wine. The problem wasn’t OP and the husband saying “help yourselves”, the problem was the selfish guests leaving the hosts with jack all.
Second story...
"Some people have no heart"
Reply should have been, "I know, some parents really don't know that their kids are not the center of everyone's world, especially when the parents don't plan ahead"
And some people have no brains yet they choose to spawn
“And some people have no brains yet they choose to spawn”
“And some people have no brains yet here they are and spawning”
People pay extra for seat choice. That’s what others don’t understand who buy budget fares.
Pretty sure they understood; they didn't fork out for their own preferred seating, after all. They were hoping to browbeat someone into doing what they wanted because "she just a child".
Story 2: Honestly AITA needs a rule that you are never TA for not changing seats on a plane…
Children who throw tantrums have no fear of their parents.
Always fascinating to understand that lying to women is evil, except when their feelings might get hurt, then you lie because “duhhh!” But then if she looks terrible at her wedding it’s also your fault later. Are women adults or toddlers? I’m fascinated by how the rules for men are like, “suck it up bro, face the real world and cope.” And then the rules for women are, “she’s a princess, you have to treat her like a princess, and if she gets upset later when she’s informed she’s not royalty? Apologize and comfort her.”
Have no heart?? Like if a kid got hurt and you pointed and laughed that might be a more valid response from the mother, but not enabling a tantrum is just the village helping raise a kid.
Dress story these always make me laugh as a man because let me tell you ladies, EVERYTIME you ask ‘do I look fat in this’ this is out situation.
How about DAD gives his window seat up for his kid? Jeezuz. I canNOT take parents thinking the entire universe must bow down to their spawn.
No one in that family had a window seat. Maybe you have only flown on small planes but the big ones have a whole section of seats in between two aisles and no one in those seats gets to sit beside a window.
That said, I question parents who would seat their young child across the aisle from them, beside a stranger. One of the parents should have been beside OP but then they wouldn't be able to try to manipulate OP into giving up her seat "for the child".
Cathy is weird and makes herself unwelcome. She's clearly not grieving while being caustic.
Which I think OP should’ve told her mom instead of what she said. Cathy makes everyone uncomfortable and as commenters said, OPs family isn’t a band aid for her grief.
Kathy never had children because she's naturally uptight. Can we give this woman a round of applause for never bowing to pressure (especially considering her generation) and becoming a mother knowing she's be bad at it? Wouldn't it be nice if more adults made the first major parenting decision of not being parents?
Also, Kathy is a little passive aggressive. Big whoop! The 3-year-old is not going to catch on to that. So OP should stop taking it personally and leave her mother to hang out with her sister at a party centered around a toddler.
The kid won't remember, OP will, and she's not beat.
So, I'll applaud OP, who is not bowing to Their Pressure. She can hang out with her and act crappy at someone else's house.
NTA for telling the bride-to-be the dress wasn't as flattering as they thought - why ask someone to come with you dress-shopping if you don't want their opinion? If your own opinion is the only one that matters to you, go on your own.
This!
"I guess I thought you were more than you really are." This was almost a non-issue until brother snapped off that lil' nugget. Oof, and then it got worse! NTA.
Not defending the slorbs who emptied out the food, but didn't The Opie notice people walking out with dufflebags filled with food? And the U-Haul backed up to the front door should've been another clue.
Story 1. Just knowing the age gap between Sasha and Op's older brother is creepy. The things he said to make it even worse. Dont think there was any miscommunication. Sasha wasnt old enough to drink alcohol at age 19 ( if in USA) & he basically said he would happily supply her with some. which is a huge red flag. think the last thing was an even more creepy saying of his. Glad she blocked him & told OP.
Dont see how OP is in the wrong for calling bro out for his creepy behavior. Something is truly wronf with your parents for thinking his behavior is ok. Be careful OP.
Left over story: I think OP rolled over on this way too fast. Who the hell goes to a party and takes what sounds like 1-2 weeks worth of leftovers. Like screw this “well you offered containers” BS. Like is this family member struggling to put food into their families mouths? No? Then don’t walk off with hundreds of dollars worth of food.
also who wants to cook after a holiday dinner? The family could have communicated too if the wanted everything gone or not.
That was not a misunderstanding. When people don’t want leftovers they usually say it.
Story 4: NTA. No white lies are not the best. People who ask for opinions with the expectation to be lied to and talked up are crap.
Much easier for the parents to scold OP for embarrassing their brother than have the uncomfortable conversation with their son about creeping on 19yr old girls I guess. Or worse, they don't see an issue. Age aside, she has the right to not want to date him and he was still in the wrong for insulting her over that. What stellar people OP's family are, approving such gross predatory behaviour.
Story 1: LOOOL oh dear, Op pointed out how her creepy, golden child brother isnt the saint her family thinks he is😂
No Op you are soooooo NTA here, and yes actually he DID deserve to be called out😂😂
I’ve given up my seat on planes before. Mostly to dodge my own family😂😂 but I’ve also said no many times. When people try xyz, I get a bit snarky. lol I’m disabled on many fronts, don’t try to use that one on me.
i like the window seat on a plane. i'm not giving it up. the kid can grow up and buy their own window seat.
I'm a widow. Neither of my kids live in the area. I refuse to impose on other people's celebrations.
If they invite me, that's one thing. But if they don't, I'm able to do things on my own. Thanksgiving was just me and the dog.
The only time I have gone to something that I wasn't entirely comfortable going to was because my niece, who works in the bakery department of a local supermarket, asked if I was going to her Uncle's house for Easter. I know him, have no problem with him, but wasn't planning on going.
But, it was my birthday and I had a feeling she'd planned on getting me a cake. So I went. And yes, she got me a cake. 😂
20 pounds of mashed potatoes?!?! I’ve never heard a serving described like that
I was thinking the same 😂
They’re probably basing that on how many pounds of potatoes they used.
They bought a 20 pound bag of potatoes. They didn't weigh the cooked potatoes.
Maybe pounds as in british currency? 😄
Don't ask for an honest reply if you can't handle the other person's opinion
Exactly! And OP never said the dress was 'ugly'. The bride said that OP said it. OP only said that it didn't suit the bride. The bride is a drama queen
I had the opposite of the last story. Since becoming a widow I secretly wished to just stay at home for xmas and do nothing but eat my delicious food and do absolutely nothing, instead every year I'm constantly being nagged to join various family friends. This year it's even worse, my son has accepted three invitations without thinking of what to say to the other two.🤪
Leftover story - my sister-in-law packs up leftovers for the guests. If there’s something special you liked you just need to mention it. Otherwise everyone gets a little bit of everything. I find the turkey wings the best part.😂
I would have said no I don't enable tantrums.
Who has the guts and feels so shameless to take ALL the food? Even when it's excused with "Help yourself". I wouldn't be able to look host in the eye next time we met if I left their house with more food than I ate AT the party.
#3: "If you didn't want my opinion, then why did you ask me?"
Airplane tantrum: It blows my mind that they encouraged the tantrum, and would’ve been fine with a stranger between them and their kid. Why didn’t a parent switch seats. They’d still be next to each other.
Sounds like Sasha dodged a bullet! Way to go Sasha!
Window Seat Story: Why didn't one of the parents sit with the child. It's their child!
Story 2: OP is NTA. Some people need to plan better.
The wedding dress story, this is clearly the case of "Don't ask questions you clearly don't want to hear the answers to". Lily asked for OP's opinion and she gave it, if she wanted OP to lie then she should have stated that. OP is not rude, Lily asked, OP gave her honest opinion. But I guess instead of saying it's ugly on Lily, OP could have said it just doesn't look that good on her or something like that. OP is NTA.
The last story, the comment that said OP's mom wasn't being manipulative. Yes, she was, she was trying to make OP feel bad so yes, she was being manipulative. OP is NTA. The party was for a toddler not a grown adult.
1st story- Your friend did the right thing and blocked a guy she didn't like. Her reasons are her own as to why she didn't like him. But instead of talking to him about you shamed him at a relatives dinner about texting a girl that is of legal age. I'm sure if it were Justin Bieber or Harry Styles though it'd be okay or maybe even welcomed. As long as he goes no further why should anyone say anything. OP is the AITA
For the first time in the very long time i've been watching this channel, i can say I am first XD
The last story: Why does OP refer to her mother's sister as Kathy and not Aunt Kathy? I sense a lack of warmness and family bonding here.
Since when does help yourself mean take everything in sight lol?
I'd have said I don't reward tantrums.
Bother is creepy and should look for a woman his own age... I'm gald op embarrassed him😂
I think that your mom is over-including Cathy. You might want to call Cathy directly, she may not really want to be there, and might only be coming because she feels like she has to.
Story 1-YTA. Look, the friend is an Adult. Not like she is under age.
Don't infantilize an adult woman.
Why you shame him?
What if you hit one someone and their sibling spreads it around and shames you.
The Op needs to grow up.
The brother didn't specifically talk about her friend so there was no reason op should go off
If your a creep just say that, leave these young women alone. As a 19 year old stop tryna suck the life out of us old man
@Sugieb so an adult hitting on an adult is creepy?
Why don't you tell us at what age you can treat a female adult like an adult?
@@lalvarez5151there are many incidents in which an adult hitting on another adult is creepy. Which is why its creepy not criminal.
@@lalvarez5151 Date women in your own age bracket. An “adult” with no financial stability, maturity, or independence is not someone u should be dating when you have 10 yrs of adult life experience. Especially if u have to buy them alcohol cus they’re under the legal drinking age ya creep.
@@lalvarez5151 You're creepy.
Leftovers story: NAH. It’s one thing if guests brought their own Tupperware and took without asking but, when the host is literally giving out Tupperware and saying help yourselves, that comes off as “we don’t want leftovers”. This was clearly a lack of communication
And it sounds like this was the first time they’ve done this. However I feel like OP shouldn’t host for Christmas and tell them why when asked. While it seems like it’s not a habit of theirs to take everything, it was still rude.
Except the guests didn't just fill the provided containers. Some guests did and that was fine. But those containers ran out at some point.
ONE family took back home the food they'd brought, food OTHER relatives (in-laws, so not direct either) brought and ALL the remaining leftovers from the hosts food. Using extra containers that weren't provided for the task. Without communicating with anyone about it.
Can you imagine the audacity it takes to not doublecheck with anyone before they decide to take whole dishes and rummage through their host's drawers to find GALLON ZIPLOCK BAGS in order to take more food home?
Leftover story, its astonishing how so many people are trying to excuse this greed. You dont take everything.
St.2, sorry but i would never give up my seat, to anyone.. i have three kids, and I'd buy the seats before if they wanted window seats.. It's not anyone else's problem, what my kids want.. But my kids aren't treated like glass.. They aren't entitled..
Story 3: I'm autistic and dont get a lot of social cues but even I know that OP was tactless and rude, like how did you think that was going to go, also just gotta point out "not a style I personally like" who gives a rat's ass what you personally like? It's not your damn wedding dress, even if you think it's the ugliest dress in the world if your friend loved it then you stfu and smile with them.
Bride asked for Op's opinion. She told the truth. Why bring a friend to wedding shopping? Op didn't say her style, she stated her friend didn't look good in the wedding dress, the bride chose. A friend does that.
I think you mean story 4, story 3 is the thanksgiving story.
@@itsjustmaddisen hard to tell without chapter breaks in the video 💀
#1 They all sound awful.
RE: Thanksgiving leftovers ESH
Yes, making off with 20 pounds of mashed potatoes is a LOT. But you also said to help themselves and left them to it. If you want to make sure you have leftovers, you need to oversee the distribution of leftovers. Otherwise people will take advantage of your generosity.
Also, it's not stealing/robbing if you told them to help themselves to the food.
Except only 1 family took the left overs leaving none for the other families. So yes not stealing but still extremely rude.
@@lamosaures They reference seeing one family take a LOT. But they did leave other family members in there taking food as well. They just didn't see how much those other people took.
Wedding dress - your response should equal how your friend takes feedback. Some friends prefer brutally honest & others need to be coddled. You need to know your friend & respond accordingly.
When I've helped my sisters with their wedding dress shopping, I've always been honest but kind, however the point is to be a sounding board and help judge their own opinion. My sister absolutely loved one dress but the price was a bit out of her range. So we kept looking. Sometimes just having someone to validate their opinions is all that is needed
Stories like this one make it very hard for me to respect the average woman. My wife is shaking her head as well . She said I'm not a damn fragile snowflake if I ask for feedback I want my friends to be honest
@matthewschocke4094 yeah I'm the same but some are extremely precious imo.
Nope, a true friend would tell the truth. Why bring her along? Coddle an adult? Nonsense.
Re: The Bridal Dress
I'm actually confused by this. You say "when she showed you the dress she had chosen, but you introduce the story as helping her pick out her dress.
If you're helping her pick out a dress, then you need to critique it and point out the fact that it isn't flattering to her figure.
But if she's already chosen the dress, well, there's not much you can do but be supportive. because she's already paid money on the dress.
Which was it?
Wedding dress story yta it was nta as she asked but u want her to look her best when she really should be felling her beast
also op did not say she should not take it, just that she should look a little further to see if she saw one she liked better first.
He said help yourself and they did. Ok it was greedy but they may have thought they were helping out!!
What did your brother do that you are actually offended by? None of the comments to your friend are that bad. If it is the age, then that's your choice to not be ok with it. He isn't exactly old and she is 19 and perfectly capable to decide for herself what she is interested in. Which she did and I have absolutely zero problem with how she handled it. H literally asked her out. The only part I'm not ok with is his passive-aggressive response when rejected.
Why not leave the issue right there?
Your brother is right about women wanting dodgy men, this is nothing new. Thankfully not all women are like this but there are plenty of women who do.
He made an incel comment - you sound pretty misandrist imo.
He's going into his 30's and she is a teenager.
They are a different stages of life he's kind of creepy
Found the Pick-Me!
Hon, his opening salvo was offering to buy alcohol for a girl under 21. That is illegal.
@juliearmfield2634 maybe. I don't know them personally. She might be extremely immature or extremely mature and he the same. Ages doesn't equate to stages. Everyone goes into different stages at different ages. As long as both people are at the same point and their is no abuse or coercion then age shouldn't matter imo. If one is manipulative then absolutely not, but the manipulation doesn't have to be the older person. I've seen several younger people intentionally go after older partners and manipulate and control them.
@B1ack_1otus23 lmao, yeah ok. I'm sure my husband of 23yrs, 24 years next month, together for 31 years and have been together since we were 14 and 15, the same man who is exactly my age (10 months of the year) agrees with you. Smh, maybe you should know a teeny piece of information before jumping to conclusions. Otherwise, you just look ridiculous.