This Is How You DON'T Play God of War
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Twitter: / chaffxgrenade
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Probably not AS cringe-worthy as some other playthroughs--mainly 'cause this one was just... well... boring. Like, even by DSP's standards, this was just dull as hell (and given the low view count for that playthrough, his fans must've thought so, too).
"God Of War originally released on the PlayStation 3"
10 seconds in and i already want to leave
CrispTugBoat I hate pathological liars too dood fucking bullshit man.
Closest point I can prove that is that God of War II released in 2007, a year after the PS3 launched.
But still makes no sense.
This dumbass thinks this version was a remake
*Normal reaction to a boss changing patterns* Ok, I'm making some progress I think
*Phil's Reaction* "WHAT! HE DIDNT DO THAT LAST TIME, GOOD JOB KOJIMA"
You're talking about the same guy who used an automatic to beat The End (A sniper) and a sniper rifle to beat The Boss (a close-range battle) in MGS3. Yea. He's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
lol yea, dont forget his first weapon of choice was a shotgun against the End
Jakethesnake1281 I honest to god did a spit take there! Really? A shotgun?
Klaid Dael He was gonna sneak up on the gully suited sniper with the least subtle weapon ever and he had no idea where he was or was going to be. And his definition of sneaking is running like a moron into the woods shouting "WHERE THE FUCK IS HE, TELL WHAT TO DO" "Snake, use the Sniper rif-" "SHUT THE FUCK UP"
>Originally came out for PS3.
We're already off to a good start.
Yeah
this is so painful to watch
wait didnt this game come out on the ps2?
Yeah. It was just a slip of the tongue on Phil's part. 😁
Ahahahahahah
'I hate these old fucking archaic boss fights!'
Clearly a boss-fight where learning patterns & using the abilities you learned in the game to win is archaic & stupid.....
I could just image little DSP on a swing as a kid...
"HOW THE FUCK DO I SWING? MY PARENTS AREN'T TELLING ME HOW TO DO THIS! OH, PUMP MY LEGS, YEAH WHEN I THINK SWINGING I THINK PUMP MY LEGS!"
This comment is 9 years old
@@Insanity4real it sure is
@@RaiohTheHunter And still no GTA 6 lol
10 years now
Lol, Phil actually won the "Getting my ass kicked" trophy in this playthrough!! This has gotta be the most hilarious DSP moment of all-time.
Lol, what's that?
@@nothingforgrantedPS23 dying like 5 or 6 times in a row and the game will suggest you go to easy mode and will ask if you want to switch. You get a bronze trophy for it.
@@mine_mom: That's freaking hilarious! Thanks.
This comment aged well after Leanna leaving, and the bankruptcy
I actually had to try to get that one lmao. It took me a few tries of jumping off the ship in the first level. Doesn't surprise me that Dsp got it easily
Phil could play a game called, "You Win!: The Game," wherein literally the only thing to do is press a single button and you win the game, and he could still find a way to fail. And he would still blame the game.
"What the fuck is this? Bugged fucking losing mechanics. The fuck, you can't even lose. What the fuck are the developers thinking? They're retarded!"
Sorcerer Of Soup
And that's probably exactly what he'd say too, XD
Celdrach Then he would probably talk about how the developers are retards.
Sorcerer Of Soup
He'll insult the stream chat for help, and then post on twitter he never insults his fans or asks for help.
ya'll forgot "Oh my god the input lag! PSN sucks!"
Watching this really reminds me of playing games as a kid and watching people who didn't know how to play video games play them. The trend of blaming mistakes on "I didn't press anything, he did it by himself" is nonsensical as fuck, and it's pretty much only used by people who are terrible and/or new at video games.
sorry to reply 4 years later but ur so fucking right lol, i totally remember playing my mom infrogger with on ps1 on some race mode and she couldnt react fast enough and kept saying I was doing stuff to her controller and genuinely getting mad and embaressed at my laughter. I guess laughing at peoples irrational anger is something thats funny from day 1 and will never not be funny and something about seeing it in video games is great
Gotta love when Phil mocks something when it's easy but whines when something is challenging.
32:10 No one is more accomplished at getting his ass kicked by video games than Phil. It's about time he got the recognition.
47:32 "Tell me what to do!" I won't be forgetting that anytime soon.
He's gotta say it nice and loud for the people in the back~
COME ON, MAN!!!
Not even a 5 year old can struggle THIS fucking much to beat this game.
"Thats baaawwwlshiiiiit" never even heard a grown ass man act like that before.
Wow, two classical tragedies at once. There's the story of Kratos, whose own need for glory and hubris led to his downfall only to be saved at the end by a deus ex machina. And there's Phil, whose own hubris is leading to his downfall, and this playthrough was only saved via deus ex streamchat.
what is a deus ex machina?
Jakethesnake1281
It means, quite literally, "god from the machine." It is a staple in Classical Greek Dramas. To wrap up the events of a play, a god would appear on stage to set things right, just out of no where. Often, it seems, they were raised(if I recall correctly) onto the stage. So the god came to be on stage from the machine.
Often this means an intervention by a force outside the narrative, or one that intercedes with no foreshadowing. The end of the original God of War has one. While Athena was a part of the narrative, there was no indication that godhood would be a reward for Kratos. In fact, this is a prime example of how the Classical Greek Tragedies worked. Kratos has many elements of a Greek Hero, including a flaw that brings his downfall. In the midst of the narrative, he realizes this. And he seeks redemption. Hell, the story itself has an in media res opening.
At the end, the only thing that can save him is the intervention of a god. Which is exactly what happens.
So, that's deus ex machina in a nutshell.
Brian Smith thanks
The more I watch these, the more I realize that Phil isn't intentionally talking shit, but that he literally has to talk shit in order to communicate thoughts and ideas.
If I had a choice between having Phil as a roommate or living on the street I'd take my chances on the street.
Fuck that. I'd make HIM take his chances out on the street.
I hate the way he always says 'Okay?' it sounds so condescending, as if he should condescend to anyone.
"Oh well, Twitch got to see it." I laughed so hard at that statement
wow, the first time i've ever seen Kratos actually die in God of War. of course it had to be DSP playing it, so I wonder why
*****
well, I didn't mind, but his racial jokes every single second in his LP of Sleeping Dogs, took the cake. considering im half asian. Now i just hate the guy
I agree on so many levels.
My, this is why i hate God of War. >3
***** Yeah especially his Sega CD videos on the "Make My Video" series & those FMV games as well.
There is no game that DSP wont fuck up in. Period.
He lost his fucking mind in the Cliffs of Madness lmfao
And the best part is it was in an area he didn't even need to go. Just like with his stream of God Hand, he blames the game for his own incompetence and stubbornness.
59:30.
“Originally released on PS3”
This is gonna be fun.
Same man who also thought a PS2 memory card could save PS1 files when he played Spiderman
@@bunglesnurch2062 the stupid thing about that is he could've played Spiderman on his PS3 because its backwards compatible with PS1 games and it has a memory system allows you to save with PS1 games.
That's... a REALLY GOOD POINT, actually. Why *didn't* he just play Spider-Man on his PS3? It would've made for a somewhat clearer picture, too, even with his stupid camcorder.
@@chaffXgrenade . Cause Phil lacks critical thinking skills. He wants games to let him win so he can hurry and get paid. I don't see how he has fans when he insults them. He demands that the stream chat tells him what to do. It is like wow. They are paying you to give them entertainment and not be a crybaby over everything. I can't imagine unironically watching Philmo
So the video is basically 1:23:55 long.
For some odd reason, I hear DSP trying to count to five.
That last part was the definition of insanity. Doing the something repeatedly, and expecting different results.
its like when he played fifa and the balls were randomly bouncing of peoples heads into the goal
1:07:38 lmao that was actually kind of funny, when Phil really tries he can be somewhat of a humorous person at times.
I’m telling you maybe I’m crazy but I think he’s pretty entertaining. I wouldn’t watch unedited but tihydp is perfect for showing how funny his content can be. If he actually worked with someone like The Outsyder to produce tihydp he could potentially revive his channel
34:38
"I can't quit! If I quit, I'll go back to my last save! You can't...uh, the last save was, where, over here?"
Literally five feet back from where he was.
1:07:38 lol “I’m the god of peace” actually made me laugh
Lmao same Phil actually can be funny at times
Not even 10 seconds into the video and he says this originally came out on the ps3. wut?
To the detriment of my mental well-being I've watched entirely too many of these "How you DON'T play" videos and I'm noticing a pattern where he doesn't seem to fucking understand that weapons in many games are situational. It happens in most of the videos, he gets a new weapon and uses it EXCLUSIVELY for as long as possible no matter how BAD it is for some situations.
I noticed that with this where he only uses the Blade of Artemis, when there are times where he should clearly go back to the Blades of Chaos. Not only that, but he barely seems to upgrade shit at all as well.
@@DrEarthwormRobotnik tbh in GoW 1 the blades of chaos should be used almost exclusively in tandem with poseidons rage
Jesus Christ does Phil actually think he's funny
Sadly, yes, he really does. He believes everything he says is comedy gold and is blind to the reality of it all.
I can relate to the meltdown he had in the cliffs of madness.
I remember getting a bit lost in there my first time through, but it wasn't too bad.
Now that spiky rotating pillar in the Underworld, on the other hand... don't even get me started on THAT. :P
*****
F**k that bulls**t! F**K THAT F**KING SPIKED ROTATING PILLAR!
Hades... I hate you...
***** W-What if Hell just requires you to continually climb a never ending spiny-blade pillar in God of War? Dear god.
I would just give up. I would just be like. "Nope. I'm done. F**k this place!"
***** I wonder how many controllers were broken in the Underworld...
here's another problem with phil, he always expect games to hold his hand when he gets stuck on certain part of the game.
It's always funny when Phil experiences an ACTUAL glitch like at 46:12, he calls so many things bugs that really aren't that it's like the boy who cried wolf.
18:27 I love that nobody in chat told him that he could break the turning spikes, at the end of the conveyer belt. It's more entertaining when Phil is left in the lurch.
18:50 Ah, the magic "trio": Tedious, boring and annoying. Phil loves those words. Whenever a game is giving him trouble or mercilessly kicking his ass, it's "tedious", "boring" or "annoying". But never difficult or challenging. Ooooh no. :)
Oh man, I'm loving his rage at the minotaur boss. That boss was actually the highlight of the game for me.
"It's not difficult, it's just annoying." That's Phil for ya.
What made the rage during the minotaur boss fight even more hilarious to me is that this is practically the easiest boss in the game. I'm no GoW expert, but I managed to beat this guy on God mode on my first try--there's not much to it.
But as usual, Phil makes it look like rocket science. :P
***** Phil makes getting a bowl of cereal look like rocket science.
Pic related: i6.minus.com/ibrJ8XcjxDqBoX.jpg
"This game originally was a game that came out for the PS3"
Mother of God, I starting bashing my head on my desk when I heard that line.
Does.... does Phil expect there to be a checkpoint everytime he hits the boss?
No. That would be dumb.
He expects a checkpoint to the next level.
59:25, 1:00:49 ladies and gentlemen, phil's brain has left the building.
Im amazed he got into the muse room im guessing stream chat lol
Bingo. I doubt he could find all of the keys by himself
6:25
"Suck my cunnilingus"
I uhhhhh what? Does he know what that means?
Feenecks cunnilingus means lick clitoris.
What the fuck man i suck at God Of War? Oh this is just fucking great.
I swear to god this guy would have trouble with something like HARVEST MOON. Or even ANIMAL CROSSING.
Bugged watering physics dood
It only took me about 2 tries to beat every boss in the game. Except Ares's first form, he took forever. The enemies and combat on normal isn't hard in the slightest, all I see DSP doing is spamming the same moves with the Blades of Chaos and Artemis and never seems to block (Except the one time where actually did parry successfully a number of times).
But can we really blame DSP for the actually shitty platforming God of War has? I died WAY more times platforming on both Normal and Hard mode than I ever did in combat.
Can't really argue with that one. Granted, I actually did enjoy some if not most of the platforming, but I will admit that the camera could be a little screwy and the controls could definitely screw you over in those segments. Even when you're trying to be careful, I'd say it still had a decent chance to do so.
Still doesn't change the fact that DSP is a major scrub, but you've made a valid point.
Yeah, the platforming bits in the first GoW weren't exactly the best. GoW II was a massive improvement in that department, among other things. :D
***** The funny thing is, I never finished God of War II. Or God of War on it's hardest difficulty. I need to get around to that.
But that's true man. GoW II was a HUGE improvement from the first game overall.
GoW II is actually my favorite game in the entire series. Hell, I even wrote a review on it. chaffxgrenade.tumblr.com/post/57527023303/god-of-war-ii-second-times-the-charm
I found the clone Kratos to be hardest bit, played it on hard. :)
Platforming was really easy in this game imo. Felt like vacation next to the some of the fights. :D
God Phil's misogyny is at its absolute worst in this. This game is for grown-ups not manchildren, as manchildren evidently cannot deal with a pair of boobs (despite making 0 comments about Kratos' bare chest).
I'm sure you'll find most people see the difference between a man's bare chest and a women's.
Misandry is the real epidemic. Don't flatter yourself with such soothing nonsense.
Ugly Ass kek
>say kek
>whine about misogyny
pick one
Ugly Ass I'm laughing at your frankly bizarre assertion that misandry is somehow an epidemic
"No subtitles, that's not good"
Maybe if you didn't talk over people it'd be fine. "IS THIS GOING TO BE LIAK TEH HANGOVER BLABBERBLABBER WHYT DEH FEK T"
Maybe Phil is Patient 0 of a new and exciting kind of mental disease that reverses all possible maturity of its victim until they eventually go through the obnoxiousness of childhood right to the incapable dependence of infantile stages of growth. Soon DPS will be unable to do anything on his own. He will become incontinent, lose all motor and emotional control and his language core will rot, making him totally incapable of human life (not that he's progressing with that as it is). But he will still post his videos and swear profusely, because that is all he will be left as: The absolute core of his being laid bare.
I started watching this hoping for epic rage on the treadmill and spike room puzzles.
Wasn't disappointed.
I love how dsp says "Toby isn't funny and he's annoying as fuck, then there's me who makes actually funny stuff." "Zeus covers him in a golden shower and he gains new abilities. Hahahahhahaha" ............. How comedic...
"I'm the god of peace and love"
I fucking died.
I love how he mocks everything that's insanely easy and calls everything even remotely posing a challenge stupid/terribe/bugged/other choice words.
Maybe it's time to stop playing and start watching movies Phil. :P
This was actually really funny. The way he is, the way he acts, is so contrary to my quiet family who rarely shows emotions like this; its so extreme he has to know what he's doing.
I love it how he is failing on easy mode.
I'm surprised Phil can get out of bed, let alone put his pants on in the morning with non-existent problem solving skills.
This is 10 years too late but DOOD BUGGED PANTS WEARING MECHANICS
This play through really bothered me. God of War 2005 and Halo Combat Evolved are the only two campaigns I know from the inside out. The secret phone number is still up by the way. That's not the point, Phil needs to shut up and just play the game. Even to this day he will talk over important cut scenes and information. He'll be given information to only, 10 minutes later, forget the information...he claims this is his job and yet it took him almost 8 minutes to jump over a wall in Bayonetta. It goes to show that not everyone is good at their job. You're the best Chaff, you do your job very well.
I don't know what's more annoying about DSP- His inability to learn the simplest of gameplay mechanics, not being able to comprehend what to do when the game literally tells you what to do, his constant whining and blaming everything that goes wrong on the game, or his obnoxious and stupid laugh that always seems to be present when he doesn't know what he's doing. Oh, and did I mention the hypocrisy and outright lying he does?
In sarcastic tone:
Platforming. My favorite. - The "King" of retro.
Why does this guy play games? Of the few playthroughs I've seen him do he never seems to enjoy them. All he does is complain when a challenge is presented to him and goes to a message board to find the solution, rather than enjoying the process of working it out for himself. It seems to me it would suit him more to just give a running commentary to a film.
It's his job. Games are work for him.
It was 7 years ago, it's still today.😂😂😂
26:55 bugged recording mechanics
1:17:37 Clearly the health gauge was some kind of tug of war challenge but only the winner survives. So it seems like when Kratos loses health Aries gains the same amount he lost, and vice versa. In other words the green portion pans when someone is damaged, when one half is full they're the winner.
Whenhe laughs it sounds like a dying elephant.
DSP the God of Bugs.
There are people who pay this man money to fail and then whine about it.
I really love it that he is $440K-ish in debt, and is currently blaming others right now.
I loved how he kept failing during the minotaur boss fight.
I had to take a deep breath and go on a rant when he called the game shit and that it sucked ass. This game is a masterpiece and it is one of the very best games ever made. He cries over how challenging things are. Well it is set in Pandora's Tower where the most powerful item on Earth is located and that is Pandora's Box. It holds the powers of the gods in it and with it, you can actually fight a god. Countless souls over the years have tried to get it and failed as the game notes. Conquering the Tower gives you a strong feeling of victory. DSP yet again hasn't a clue what he is talking about
Yeah.Phil put the game on easy by "accident"
How do people like him...? I have no words to describe his behavior .-.
Why does he stand by the boss' feet and then get angry and surprised and start screaming when he dies? What did he expect?
i love his belt puzzle part... at no point does he use the checkpoints xD
Wait wait wait...less than 10 seconds in, and did he just say God of War ONE came out on the Playstation 3 originally? ...ohhh no......
I love how he doesn't read the text when the easy mode prompt comes on and just as he pressed "Yes" he realized the game asked him to turn on easy mode :D Well Phil, that's what you get for not reading stuff the game shows you :D And of course it's the games fault now :D
DarkSydePhil: The Clod of War!
Salt of war
This did not come out originally for PS3. It came out for PS2. Jesus christ this man DSP is incompetent.
Making it through the cringe that was the OH OH OH OH OH every fucking time he hit with the sword and DSP's mandatory singalong segment was worth him mashing through god of war's screens thinking they always say the same shit and accidentally putting it on easy because he's an impatient shit
he fucking paid enough attention to realize it said easy at all and he still fucked up
Man Phil got so salty when fighting the minotaur boss
notices that there are no subtitles available.
immediately starts talking during intro cutscene.
when Phil rant, he always gets drunk and saids oh comahhhhhh, wowwww!
"I don't even know! I was looking at the stream chat"... sums up one of the biggest problems with DSP and a big reason I unsubbed from him.
Lmao
I think phil has become a part of my subconscious. Whenever I get hit or die in god of war my first thought is "didnt hit me but okay" oh mah lawd.
"TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Phil sounds like he's about to cry.
it's weird how a grown man has such little control over his emotions. quickly loses his temper the instant the game stops holding his hand
My eyes melted while watching this...
never before have i ever seen someone make god of war look hard. this video brings so much pain to me. if he hasnt already im pretty sure phil could make call of duty look as difficult as demon souls.
"theres nothing to refill your magic"
i don't know anything about god of war other than 'kratos, hack and slash, battling gods' and even i knew the treasure chest at the start of the 20:00 segment had the choice of either refilling health or refilling magic
gg dsp
48:50 wow the salt
I agree with him that "this is shit". His playing style is. The game itself is a masterpiece
I love how has has to backpedal and TRY to be ambivalent in his "review" sections to avoid even more hatedom rage.
12:55 sound familiar souls fans?
upgrade your skills
dsp has the same comedy skills as my dad
I'm terrible at most games, but at least I don't sit there and complain every time I mess up like this guy. How does this guy have fans?
That trophy ''Getting my ass kicked''. lol.
PS: Lol death room was hilarious.
1:08:45 hahahahahhah
Holy shit i've watched the entire video.
Somehow, I knew he would fuck up the balancing segment but I didn't think he would die on the first one.
he said he pressed every button when he tried to swing but said none worked,but then is surprised when circle work,
Am I to understand that DSP played every God of War game except 2?... that seems kinda random even for DipShit
As far as I know, he didn't play Chains of Olympus/Ghost of Sparta, either.
Ironic because GOW 2 is often regarded as the best in the series. Thank goodness he missed it
"Did it go to Easy Mode?" Yes, yes it did. Just continue it.
I hate that option though I really don’t know why the first three games had that and then they don’t even give you the option to change the difficulty afterwards, really glad they changed that in the new god of war.
Can his paypigs please get him to play god of war 2
I'm kinda surprised that he hadn't played it by now, but then again, looking back at the four-year gap between Jak II and Jak 3...
Holy shit he actually admitted user error "Shit I pressed X instead of (Whatever button it was.)"
I felt so sorry for the Oracle...
The first thing that came to my mind when he shouted come on was ''I was blocking that!'' xD
His combat looks strange. I remember using light attack + heavy attack combos as well as grabs. It's like he just spams a button and tries to block every now and then.
two words : air combos.
Can you not put the block against the pillars in that conveyor section?
Gamer Rob You totally can. Dsp can't.
BananaSopuli Wait, my PS3 copy stopped working before I could get here. So I guessed the solution from footage yet he couldn't figure it out while actually playing it? And I'm someone who openly admits to sucking at puzzles.
Gamer Rob
I don't even consider that to be a puzzle, to me it's pretty obvious.
Then again, dsp.