This is such a profound way to approach forgiveness. Letting go in silence without the need for confrontation truly brings inner peace. A lesson we all need to learn!
My older brother has not associated with me now for over 40 years. His beliefs don't allow him to. I once was in his faith but have left it the same number of years. Many years later I was expected to help out with my aging parents also in that faith, which I did with Love and occasionally spoke to my brother in that framework but only superficially. Now my parents have both passed away for over 20 years I never get to see my brother. And he would close the door in my face if I were to stand at his door. Which I would never do. I have chosen my path in life. And have found more comfort in other philosophies just like here with Buddhism. And indeed for my own compassion and peace of mind I have silently forgiven him for his blindness and stubbornness. I have gotten the chance in life to evolve concerning compassion and forgiveness. He hasn't he cannot. And all because of what he has been told in his faith of what is written in a book. You cannot transcend then
You aren't alone my older brother disowned me years ago for no reason.He became very wealthy and became arrogant, full of himself.Dont see him anymore that's a blessing...Money changes people sometimes not in a good way..
So timely, so profound, so simple. I have been holding onto a grudge which is hurting no one but me. I choose to release it now, and choose to forgive myself for wanting so deeply for the other party to hear me out. I'm finding forgiving self is not internally silent, but releasing attachment is.
This has come at a time when I need it and am ready to embrace it. Thank you. Silent Forgiveness for my own peace of mind. I no longer wish to drag that ball and chain.
I think the most interesting story of forgiveness for me is that of my parents. I recall how they wronged me as I was growing up and puzzled to know why people do such things even parents. I studied, attended college, and spent time with them in a casual way for decades. Now that they are gone I fully understand their wounds became mine in a lesser way. Now I love them more than ever as I understand them better than ever 🌛 Im not sure forgiveness is even necessary; as described here, we learn to detach and let go of weights we do not need. In another sense, it's for giving to ourselves healing of the wounds life carelessly imposes on us
I’m not sure why my close friends are completely out of my life now but I’m at peace with it even though I miss them. I’m in a new place in life and I celebrate it every single day alone. I walk in solidarity with my emotions and soundness. I get lonely sometimes, but I don’t feel lonely. I have for decades been inspired and influenced by Buddhism as though there is a connection there. However, I haven’t pursued it yet.
been used and abused by countless people. finally I learn the lesson from this last toxic friend and now i understand these people don't love themselves how can they love you it's all a lie to keep using u take whatever they can take. no more man enough is enough. i have to forgive myself as well that I didn't understand this and i forgive them they don't love and care about themselves how can they love and care about others they r sick and don't have the energy to be a loving caring kind human. be safe out there protect your peace love and care about yrself u don't need any lies fake promises and betrayal again.
I have stepped away.. I have spent time in healing.. and I am ready to forgive and let go. Maybe this is an AI construct but it totally resonates with me. .. I have dwelt on the numerous occasions of hurt and know that this will never change.. it has happened for over 30 years.. and I choose to walk away. And this gives me great peace and I forgive myself and he but it is now done and I wish to move forward ❤
I helped him when he needed help but he always wanted more. One day I said enough. He became angry and said to never come near him again. I was angry for a long time, now I realize what a good idea that was. Peace brother.
Being at peace in your mind about the forgiveness...if you speak with them or not, it will be from a place of peace and unattached. Rather than a seething undercurrent that serves no good. 🕊️✨
One time after our divorce my ex wife pushed her lies and anger too far. That day I told her, sorry, but this was one time too much I accept to be treated like this. I wish you all the best for the rest of your life and I will never talk to you again, bye. Now it is about ten years later and I feel so much better without this negative person in my life. Sometimes our kids tell me about her but I dont feel sad, angry or hurt anymore and this gives me peace.
The lies and slander increased after I spoke to her. I made the decision to walk away completrly never to return. I wish her well, but I will not be in her company ever again. Now I have peace.
A situation may be an opportunity missed to confront oneself and learn about oneself. I find if something "pushes my buttons", i.e. disturbs my mind, when I look at that disturbance, it reveals a strong like or dislike in my own psyche. The opportunity is to see myself, and address the pre-conceived idea I have, and let it go. If I didn't have a strong like or dislike in my own mind in the first place, the situation wouldn't have bothered me. Also I have seen if there is a common thread of disturbance... the situations may be different, but I have the same reaction, stemming from my own conclusions, I can identify that reaction is of my own making, usually stemming from the subconscious. When I see that filter, I can let it go more easily, with the result of seeing more clearly. With a clear mind, I remain in peace, which reflects the true nature of the self... consciousness, being, limitless. Consciousness doesn't react, consciousness is.
The most important aspect of forgiveness is to your own self first and foremost. Then letting go of those who have harmed you is easier, it can feel natural to walk away.
Yes I agree. Respecting and honoring myself has been my greatest teaching recently. I can now walk away with compassion knowing I approve of and trust me first and foremost. I have no need to demand it from another. If they cant be honorable I choose to walk away..❤
If person who has wronged you does not apologize in a sincere and accountable way, they will do the same thing to you again if you forgive them. Without the sincere apology I think of forgiveness like a bank does. The person who borrowed the money is exposed as someone who has no honour in their responsibilities and the bank will accept the person for who they have revealed themselves to be. The bank won't lend them any more money, just as we can move on from the toxic individual and give them no more of our time.
My sister criticized my parenting of my son and took on the role of a harsh disciplinarian when we were together. My son began to really dislike her, and I was lost on what to do. Finally, I consulted other family members on what to do, and they said to kindly ask her to stop. I did but it just infuriated her, and she did not stop. So we moved away to spend less time with her. Turns out my son was born with a chromosome abnormality. I knew something was different with him. I had tried to figure it out, but needed a doctor that could guide us, which we never found until just a month ago. I handled it by being gentle and loving with him to help him be successful. She viewed him as manipulating us. I was right; she was wrong. We rarely speak mainly due to her no longer wanting connection. I feel sorry for her.
00:00 Introduction, context, and key teachings 00:07 Saying: in Zen the finger pointing at the Moon is not the Moon, look beyond the finger to see the truth 01:11 Story exploring the journey of silent forgiveness 08:49 1. Forgiveness without expectation 09:47 2. The power of non-attachment 10:42 3. Walking aways without hatred 11:44 4. The silence of understanding 12:31 5. The self-healing journey 13:24 6. The ripple effect of forgiveness 14:07 7. The wisdom of impermanence
One need not "never speak to" someone who's done harm in order to forgive them. That's clear. If we had to avoid everyone who's misbehaved, on the other hand, that would be everyone. One need never speak of the wrong someone's done or the trouble it's caused us; that's optional, it depends. They may well bring it up themselves. We can keep our doors open. People come and go. We need not identify them with any particular thing they've done, regardless of its effect on us. How we process that effect is up to us. We need not "repair" what never existed. The choice to be well is ours.
Wow. I have practiced this forgiveness before, it works. I am still seething against half my fellow citizens. Somehow I did not recognize the need to forgive until I saw your comment. Whoever you may be, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
@@kathutchison8567 Forgiveness is not honorable (as I stated in my comment on the main thread). Forgiving them allows them to continue to lead us all towards evil and darkness. But you need not be seething either. They have been duped by a great con artist. Feel sorry for them but please dont forgive them (at least not yet) - hold them to account (gently and lovingly , not with anger) or else they will continue to do the bidding of the evil con artist. Forgive them when they atone.
How do handle ; when I will not, cannot severe the relationship I have forgiven but every time I see this person it brings me back to that moment and it takes a lot of energy to shake off that feeling. It was awful, the look on her face…. . At its core I feel the action was a consequence of something bigger going on in her life and want to listen.
Dear teacher! Does this mean that when I forgive someone for betrayal with silence that I will be released from the inner bondage that I create when I’m incapable of being forgiving in an ordinary way? Thank you. 🕊️🙏🕊️
It's just another option. A lot of people think you have to say what's on your mind in order for it to be meaningful. This is saying that you can just say it to yourself and that is equally meaningful and sometimes even more so. Plan B!
Aku dulunya pernah memaafkan mereka berkali kali..tapi tidak lagi sekarang..Biar lah berani buat salah.. berani tanggung akibatnya dan dosanya..bukannya pandan mau insaf pun.. aku pun sampai tk de selera nak maafkan lagi..tk semudah itu..
or, don't forgive them, in silence. Not my job to forgive anyone. Let them forgive themselves. Rendering them irrelevant however works great. And you arent hating on anyone. Just 'poof' gone.
in our culture it is seen as avoidance and passive aggression to be silent and never speak to the person again.and also there is the real problem of not being able to avoid people who are close neighbours or parents of children who are separated or divorced ,then the children have to deal with the parents problems. this teaching is meant for monks?
My understanding of the Buddhist philosophy is that suffering is caused by attachments and aversion. Through mindfulness there may be a time when you speak to the person again but in a thoughtful and meaningful way.
This is a great vid BUT This ancient wisdom SLIGHTLY misses the mark. Forgiveness is neither what we need to gain peace NOR what is honorable. I have recently suffered such a betrayal. I have not and will not forgive the actor, but I have been living more joyfully after the betrayal then before. I have the peace described in the vid without forgiving the transgressor. How? Well.... Acceptance rather than forgiveness is (imo) the key. Accept the new reality as you would accept a rainstorm "ruining" you vacation, then you can enjoy the rain. This is important because forgiveness is actually a bad thing to do (esp assuming you can get from acceptance the peace you think you will get from forgiveness). Would it be wise or honorable to forgive murderers and rapists? No! Forgiveness absolves them of their guilt. Remember that not only do we want to avoid suffering from our betrayal, we want nobody else to suffer by getting betrayed by them. So absolving them of their guilt is actually something we wouldn't want to do even if it would give us peace (since that would be selfish - effectively putting others at greater risk of betrayal just so we have peace). Of course this topic requires far more than the 12 lines written here, but I hope this gets the point across. Thank you for a wonderful vid that help me feel even better about my decision to accept the betrayal and cut off all contact (but remaining open the possibility that 1) I am wrong and 2) the person may change. Because I choose not to eternally condemn anyone based on 1 act of betrayal) . My life is so much better for it.
But there's 2 sides to every story. What if the so-called perpetrator doesn't understand why they're friend Isn't their friend anymore. It's not fair to never give the other side a chance to speak. That in itself is very hurtful
And if you explain it and they still don’t get it, then what? You keep allowing them to drain your life force? What if they’re choosing not to understand, hoping they’ll get you to gaslight yourself into accepting more of their toxicity? Sometimes walking away is the only thing you can do for your own peace of mind. Peace is a gift you can only give to yourself. It’s not selfish to protect your mental health and emotional well-being. And if walking away from a bad connection without ever uttering another word is what it takes, then so be it.
Actually, it’s wisdom. You can forgive people and understand that a continued relationship and contact with them isn’t good for you. Not everyone deserves to experience your presence, especially if they can’t be bothered to appreciate or respect it. That said, if keeping negative people in your life to prove your capacity for forgiveness works for you, far be it for me or anyone else to give you any advice you won’t follow, or any perspective you won’t accept. Namaste.
@ Self defense is a universal right. Hypocrisy with sly arrogance is more illegitimate and fearful than ever. Talking to undefeated enemies is self defeating. Forgiveness requires repentance and true reconciliation. Silence is the most effective mysterious attack upon one’s enemies. But why must enemies always remain so? Reconciliation brings great benefits just consider our relations with our former enemies Germany and Japan. Should we have refused to ever talk to them again?
@marianfrances4959 but it's not resentment. You're putting words into the debate that don't exist. I'm just saying, why forgive? Not forgiving doesn't mean resenting... Nothing needs to be pigeon holed, and my health is fantastic. Thank you.
This kind of pop philosophy can be misleading. These practices are fine for monks and those who don't engage in the rough and tumble of life, which is where you meet existence at its core. It can also be therapeutic for those getting on in years and don't have the will or energy to call others out for wrong doing and trespasses. In business and (particularly) intimate relationships it is important to 'confront' the other when lines have been crossed. Keeping silent will only let things get worse. Sometimes the raw exposure of one's betrayal or hurt to another is needed for the other to change. Keeping silent and moving on by one is not a guarantee that the other will reflect honestly upon their transgressions ~
@@ZenPhilosophy1723So...you are an Authority on Judgment for what is right for others? Have you ever lived with a Narcissist Sociopath Psychopath ? Obama NOT🥺
This is just passive aggressive behaviour. If you forgive someone, you treat them as you do others that have done you no (perceived) harm. Choosing avoidance is a means of revenge.
Disagree - I forgive the harm but need to protect myself from further harm - no revenge from me - it is now in God's hands - I will not be harming in return
Good choice. Buddisim is so real proven and helps in every way every day for a family member to not talk cause of religion is proof they are learning from wrong religion.
Best way to be kind to yourself ❤
🙏
09:55 Forgive not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace’-this line hit hard. So true. 💛
🙏
This is such a profound way to approach forgiveness. Letting go in silence without the need for confrontation truly brings inner peace. A lesson we all need to learn!
🙏
@@TimelessWisdom999 ❤️🙏
My older brother has not associated with me now for over 40 years. His beliefs don't allow him to. I once was in his faith but have left it the same number of years. Many years later I was expected to help out with my aging parents also in that faith, which I did with Love and occasionally spoke to my brother in that framework but only superficially. Now my parents have both passed away for over 20 years I never get to see my brother. And he would close the door in my face if I were to stand at his door. Which I would never do. I have chosen my path in life. And have found more comfort in other philosophies just like here with Buddhism. And indeed for my own compassion and peace of mind I have silently forgiven him for his blindness and stubbornness. I have gotten the chance in life to evolve concerning compassion and forgiveness. He hasn't he cannot. And all because of what he has been told in his faith of what is written in a book. You cannot transcend then
That's a fact!
You aren't alone my older brother disowned me years ago for no reason.He became very wealthy and became arrogant, full of himself.Dont see him anymore that's a blessing...Money changes people sometimes not in a good way..
🙏
@ZenPhilosophy1723 💚🩷❤️🙏
Let it be maybe later in life 😜 ok🙏🙏🙏✋🤓💪❤️
So timely, so profound, so simple. I have been holding onto a grudge which is hurting no one but me. I choose to release it now, and choose to forgive myself for wanting so deeply for the other party to hear me out. I'm finding forgiving self is not internally silent, but releasing attachment is.
🙏
This has come at a time when I need it and am ready to embrace it. Thank you. Silent Forgiveness for my own peace of mind. I no longer wish to drag that ball and chain.
🙏
It matters not what events happen to us, but how we react to them.
I forgive, I forgive myself.
Let go or be dragged.
🙏
Thank you so much for this lesson. It is exactly what I needed to learn. I am so grateful that you are sharing this wisdom with us.
🙏
True I forgive all who ever wronged me and I also pray forgiveness for myself for wrongs I have done in the past it's liberating Thank You 🙏
🙏
Beautiful and profound and so apt for me in my life right now - thank you.
🙏
This is what I do. Now I can feel better about it. Can't change other people.
🙏
I think the most interesting story of forgiveness for me is that of my parents. I recall how they wronged me as I was growing up and puzzled to know why people do such things even parents. I studied, attended college, and spent time with them in a casual way for decades. Now that they are gone I fully understand their wounds became mine in a lesser way. Now I love them more than ever as I understand them better than ever 🌛
Im not sure forgiveness is even necessary; as described here, we learn to detach and let go of weights we do not need.
In another sense, it's for giving to ourselves healing of the wounds life carelessly imposes on us
🙏
I’m not sure why my close friends are completely out of my life now but I’m at peace with it even though I miss them. I’m in a new place in life and I celebrate it every single day alone. I walk in solidarity with my emotions and soundness. I get lonely sometimes, but I don’t feel lonely. I have for decades been inspired and influenced by Buddhism as though there is a connection there. However, I haven’t pursued it yet.
👍
Peace.I've been living like this, but didn't know it had a name or teaching video!
🙏
This wisdom is so needed in the world. And it’s perfect for me at this time. It is liberating. It provides peace. With great gratitude, Susanne ❤
🙏
Why do we need to forgive abuse to be free? I forgive myself to set my soul free. Done with suffering.
🙏
Perfect timing for me.
🙏
been used and abused by countless people. finally I learn the lesson from this last toxic friend and now i understand these people don't love themselves how can they love you it's all a lie to keep using u take whatever they can take. no more man enough is enough. i have to forgive myself as well that I didn't understand this and i forgive them they don't love and care about themselves how can they love and care about others they r sick and don't have the energy to be a loving caring kind human. be safe out there protect your peace love and care about yrself u don't need any lies fake promises and betrayal again.
🙏
The is a beautiful teaching! Thank you for sharing
Thanks for watching 🙏
I have stepped away.. I have spent time in healing.. and I am ready to forgive and let go. Maybe this is an AI construct but it totally resonates with me. .. I have dwelt on the numerous occasions of hurt and know that this will never change.. it has happened for over 30 years.. and I choose to walk away. And this gives me great peace and I forgive myself and he but it is now done and I wish to move forward ❤
🙏
I helped him when he needed help but he always wanted more. One day I said enough. He became angry and said to never come near him again. I was angry for a long time, now I realize what a good idea that was. Peace brother.
🙏
Thanks
Thanks so much for the support I really appreciate your support 🙏
Perfect for this Lunar New Year 2025. #PlutoInAquarius2025To2044
🙏
Being at peace in your mind about the forgiveness...if you speak with them or not, it will be from a place of peace and unattached. Rather than a seething undercurrent that serves no good. 🕊️✨
🙏
This is a lesson that I am so thankful for. I have saved it and will return to it many time. Of this I am sure.
🙏
I am practicing this now❤❤
Thanks for watching 🙏
Thanks!
Thanks so much for the support 🙏
One time after our divorce my ex wife pushed her lies and anger too far. That day I told her, sorry, but this was one time too much I accept to be treated like this. I wish you all the best for the rest of your life and I will never talk to you again, bye. Now it is about ten years later and I feel so much better without this negative person in my life. Sometimes our kids tell me about her but I dont feel sad, angry or hurt anymore and this gives me peace.
🙏
The lies and slander increased after I spoke to her. I made the decision to walk away completrly never to return. I wish her well, but I will not be in her company ever again. Now I have peace.
🙏
A situation may be an opportunity missed to confront oneself and learn about oneself. I find if something "pushes my buttons", i.e. disturbs my mind, when I look at that disturbance, it reveals a strong like or dislike in my own psyche. The opportunity is to see myself, and address the pre-conceived idea I have, and let it go. If I didn't have a strong like or dislike in my own mind in the first place, the situation wouldn't have bothered me. Also I have seen if there is a common thread of disturbance... the situations may be different, but I have the same reaction, stemming from my own conclusions, I can identify that reaction is of my own making, usually stemming from the subconscious. When I see that filter, I can let it go more easily, with the result of seeing more clearly. With a clear mind, I remain in peace, which reflects the true nature of the self... consciousness, being, limitless. Consciousness doesn't react, consciousness is.
🙏
O god love 🖐️🌳🙏
🙏
This is really really good! Thank you!🙏 🙏🙏
🙏
The most important aspect of forgiveness is to your own self first and foremost. Then letting go of those who have harmed you is easier, it can feel natural to walk away.
🙏
Yes I agree. Respecting and honoring myself has been my greatest teaching recently. I can now walk away with compassion knowing I approve of and trust me first and foremost. I have no need to demand it from another. If they cant be honorable I choose to walk away..❤
If person who has wronged you does not apologize in a sincere and accountable way, they will do the same thing to you again if you forgive them. Without the sincere apology I think of forgiveness like a bank does. The person who borrowed the money is exposed as someone who has no honour in their responsibilities and the bank will accept the person for who they have revealed themselves to be. The bank won't lend them any more money, just as we can move on from the toxic individual and give them no more of our time.
👍
So true.
🙏
My sister criticized my parenting of my son and took on the role of a harsh disciplinarian when we were together. My son began to really dislike her, and I was lost on what to do. Finally, I consulted other family members on what to do, and they said to kindly ask her to stop. I did but it just infuriated her, and she did not stop. So we moved away to spend less time with her.
Turns out my son was born with a chromosome abnormality. I knew something was different with him. I had tried to figure it out, but needed a doctor that could guide us, which we never found until just a month ago. I handled it by being gentle and loving with him to help him be successful. She viewed him as manipulating us. I was right; she was wrong.
We rarely speak mainly due to her no longer wanting connection. I feel sorry for her.
🙏
Thank you teacher
🙏
Absolutely wonderful...... thank you!
🙏
Thankyou ❤
🙏
00:00 Introduction, context, and key teachings
00:07 Saying: in Zen the finger pointing at the Moon is not the Moon, look beyond the finger to see the truth
01:11 Story exploring the journey of silent forgiveness
08:49 1. Forgiveness without expectation
09:47 2. The power of non-attachment
10:42 3. Walking aways without hatred
11:44 4. The silence of understanding
12:31 5. The self-healing journey
13:24 6. The ripple effect of forgiveness
14:07 7. The wisdom of impermanence
🙏
One need not "never speak to" someone who's done harm in order to forgive them. That's clear. If we had to avoid everyone who's misbehaved, on the other hand, that would be everyone. One need never speak of the wrong someone's done or the trouble it's caused us; that's optional, it depends. They may well bring it up themselves. We can keep our doors open. People come and go. We need not identify them with any particular thing they've done, regardless of its effect on us. How we process that effect is up to us. We need not "repair" what never existed. The choice to be well is ours.
👍
This I find true. I have had to stop regular communication with a couple of people though.
@@lindafolk4598 That can be the best option.
As long as the silence is not intended to harm the other. Then it is just passive-aggressive behavior.
🙏
The silence is not to punish the other but to protect yourself from his/her aggression and toxicity.
🙏
🙏
👍
👍
My older brother never did.
👍
Good stuff… I silently forgive and walk away from that last election.
👍
Wow. I have practiced this forgiveness before, it works. I am still seething against half my fellow citizens. Somehow I did not recognize the need to forgive until I saw your comment. Whoever you may be, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
@@kathutchison8567 Forgiveness is not honorable (as I stated in my comment on the main thread). Forgiving them allows them to continue to lead us all towards evil and darkness. But you need not be seething either. They have been duped by a great con artist. Feel sorry for them but please dont forgive them (at least not yet) - hold them to account (gently and lovingly , not with anger) or else they will continue to do the bidding of the evil con artist. Forgive them when they atone.
How do handle ; when I will not, cannot severe the relationship
I have forgiven but every time I see this person it brings me back to that moment and it takes a lot of energy to shake off that feeling. It was awful, the look on her face….
. At its core I feel the action was a consequence of something bigger going on in her life and want to listen.
🙏
Be sure you are not someone's whipping post or become a scapegoat. That can happen and boundaries are essential I have found.
Dear teacher! Does this mean that when I forgive someone for betrayal with silence that I will be released from the inner bondage that I create when I’m incapable of being forgiving in an ordinary way? Thank you. 🕊️🙏🕊️
🙏
It's AI
It's just another option. A lot of people think you have to say what's on your mind in order for it to be meaningful. This is saying that you can just say it to yourself and that is equally meaningful and sometimes even more so. Plan B!
@@miriamlandau1207yes and you can also not interact with the person again if they continue bad behavior
Aku dulunya pernah memaafkan mereka berkali kali..tapi tidak lagi sekarang..Biar lah berani buat salah.. berani tanggung akibatnya dan dosanya..bukannya pandan mau insaf pun.. aku pun sampai tk de selera nak maafkan lagi..tk semudah itu..
👍
or, don't forgive them, in silence. Not my job to forgive anyone. Let them forgive themselves. Rendering them irrelevant however works great. And you arent hating on anyone. Just 'poof' gone.
👍
in our culture it is seen as avoidance and passive aggression to be silent and never speak to the person again.and also there is the real problem of not being able to avoid people who are close neighbours or parents of children who are separated or divorced ,then the children have to deal with the parents problems. this teaching is meant for monks?
My understanding of the Buddhist philosophy is that suffering is caused by attachments and aversion. Through mindfulness there may be a time when you speak to the person again but in a thoughtful and meaningful way.
🙏
@@dprice9and hopefully their heart is open enough to hear you. If not make a choice of the level of exchange.
This is a great vid BUT This ancient wisdom SLIGHTLY misses the mark. Forgiveness is neither what we need to gain peace NOR what is honorable. I have recently suffered such a betrayal. I have not and will not forgive the actor, but I have been living more joyfully after the betrayal then before. I have the peace described in the vid without forgiving the transgressor. How? Well....
Acceptance rather than forgiveness is (imo) the key. Accept the new reality as you would accept a rainstorm "ruining" you vacation, then you can enjoy the rain.
This is important because forgiveness is actually a bad thing to do (esp assuming you can get from acceptance the peace you think you will get from forgiveness). Would it be wise or honorable to forgive murderers and rapists? No! Forgiveness absolves them of their guilt. Remember that not only do we want to avoid suffering from our betrayal, we want nobody else to suffer by getting betrayed by them. So absolving them of their guilt is actually something we wouldn't want to do even if it would give us peace (since that would be selfish - effectively putting others at greater risk of betrayal just so we have peace).
Of course this topic requires far more than the 12 lines written here, but I hope this gets the point across. Thank you for a wonderful vid that help me feel even better about my decision to accept the betrayal and cut off all contact (but remaining open the possibility that 1) I am wrong and 2) the person may change. Because I choose not to eternally condemn anyone based on 1 act of betrayal) . My life is so much better for it.
🙏
But there's 2 sides to every story. What if the so-called perpetrator doesn't understand why they're friend Isn't their friend anymore. It's not fair to never give the other side a chance to speak. That in itself is very hurtful
🙏
And if you explain it and they still don’t get it, then what? You keep allowing them to drain your life force? What if they’re choosing not to understand, hoping they’ll get you to gaslight yourself into accepting more of their toxicity?
Sometimes walking away is the only thing you can do for your own peace of mind. Peace is a gift you can only give to yourself. It’s not selfish to protect your mental health and emotional well-being. And if walking away from a bad connection without ever uttering another word is what it takes, then so be it.
Apparently then these Buddhists can’t really forgive. Forgive and then never speak to them again is not forgiveness. That’s hypocrisy.
Understand the video well before judging watch the full video to know the real thing.
Actually, it’s wisdom. You can forgive people and understand that a continued relationship and contact with them isn’t good for you. Not everyone deserves to experience your presence, especially if they can’t be bothered to appreciate or respect it.
That said, if keeping negative people in your life to prove your capacity for forgiveness works for you, far be it for me or anyone else to give you any advice you won’t follow, or any perspective you won’t accept.
Namaste.
@ Self defense is a universal right. Hypocrisy with sly arrogance is more illegitimate and fearful than ever. Talking to undefeated enemies is self defeating. Forgiveness requires repentance and true reconciliation. Silence is the most effective mysterious attack upon one’s enemies. But why must enemies always remain so? Reconciliation brings great benefits just consider our relations with our former enemies Germany and Japan. Should we have refused to ever talk to them again?
Forgiveness is a social construct for the weak. Why make forgiveness the ultimate goal? You can walk away and cut people off without forgiveness.
The strong also feel hurt. Resentment will take your health.
🙏
@marianfrances4959 but it's not resentment. You're putting words into the debate that don't exist. I'm just saying, why forgive? Not forgiving doesn't mean resenting... Nothing needs to be pigeon holed, and my health is fantastic. Thank you.
Sounds like ghosting.
Ok
This kind of pop philosophy can be misleading.
These practices are fine for monks and those who don't engage in the rough and tumble of life, which is where you meet existence at its core.
It can also be therapeutic for those getting on in years and don't have the will or energy to call others out for wrong doing and trespasses.
In business and (particularly) intimate relationships it is important to 'confront' the other when lines have been crossed. Keeping silent will only let things get worse. Sometimes the raw exposure of one's betrayal or hurt to another is needed for the other to change.
Keeping silent and moving on by one is not a guarantee that the other will reflect honestly upon their transgressions ~
👍
This method of walking away was beneficial to me as an elderly person who does not want drama.
@lizryan6289 I fully empathize .. Makes good sense depending on personal situation
Zen AI is not anything
Ok
@ so zen 🫠
I dunno, I just can't seem to find these Ai narrated profound tales digestible.
🙏
Forgiveness followed by refusal to even speak to a person is not forgiveness-there is still a wall of dislike and anger any you are not free
🙏
@@ZenPhilosophy1723So...you are an Authority on Judgment for what is right for others? Have you ever lived with a Narcissist Sociopath Psychopath ?
Obama NOT🥺
I have chosen stepping away in silence because I tried communicating and it didn't work. I chose compassion for myself and the other.
@@lindafolk4598
Self-care for you is important. You did the right thing.
@@lizryan6289 thank you. It feels like the right thing.
This is just passive aggressive behaviour. If you forgive someone, you treat them as you do others that have done you no (perceived) harm. Choosing avoidance is a means of revenge.
Disagree - I forgive the harm but need to protect myself from further harm - no revenge from me - it is now in God's hands - I will not be harming in return
🙏
@@sallyrobbins7770Absolutely agree. If an honest loving exchange can happen that's great if not a silent walking away is essential.
AI is not how I want my teacher. No thankyou.
@@vincecallagher7636 ok
Good choice. Buddisim is so real proven and helps in every way every day for a family member to not talk cause of religion is proof they are learning from wrong religion.
🙏
These are worth better narration
🙏
I don't tt my brother in over 8 yrs only cause he's a idiotic jealous drunk. Lol
Take easy everything will be well and good keep praying for him🙏
Ai bullshit
Ooh my God with these all lessons but thanks for your opinion