As a black man I enjoy being invisible to women. To the people who can see me they know what they got and value it. I value my peace over female attention. Nothing of value has been lost to me.
Brother, in my humble opinion, if in fact you are invisible to women, something just ain’t right as Keith Sweet would say. I’ve never heard a man with testosterone and a competitive attitude ever say anything like that. I absolutely adore my beautiful wife yet can’t help but smile when I notice women checking me out. Why would I not be flattered? I’m confused 🧐 We all compete at everything in life. As men we are ranked accordingly regardless of if you want to be or not. If you are not growing or improving physically, mentally, financially socially ect, then you are going backwards. Why would any woman want to be with a man and feel safe if all he wants to be is invisible. Invisible people get devoured first because they are already nonexistent so who cares. You must have been in somebody’s high school band or checkers club. No offense intended.
I never feel invisible as a black man. However, as a high achieving, high earning, educated BM, I feel underestimated by many especially BW. The bigotry of low expectations is a real thing.
Yep, I'm a pharmacist and my girlfriend even told me that she assumed that I was actually a technician simply claiming to be a pharmacist early on. The relationship is good overall, but she probably wouldn't have doubted me if I was white. Lol
@@nnekaonyilofor - @ContrarianExpatriate - GenX, mid 50s, BM. I agree with you. Our social & business peer groups, m3n & wom3n, are the same. At my stage of life, if any wom@n is problematic, has an negative attitude, h3r mindset is off e.g. underestimating me, sh3 doesn't or can't control h3r mouth, etc, I pass h3r by & don't engage at all.
They choose Pookie and Rayray 1. No loss if he goes 2. Feel like they can change him 3. Control him financially 4. Love toxicity 5. Don't know what a peaceful relationship is.
Blk women talking about they won't submit if a man can't pay all their bills but will submit when they have sex! Ain't your womb and mouth more valuable?
As a black man in this society you are not a person, you're a tool. If you cannot be used to uplift, benefit or entertain you have no value as a human being. Your thoughts, your feelings the experience of life you can share are meaningless because no cares. In fact as a black man when you express those things you are lambasted and degraded for it. As a black man if you don't have a good family which many of us don't all you have is you. You are the only person you can count on.
It's something Dr T Johnson, talks about frequently if you don't fit in to one of the above slots , you don't exist as a black man. If you watch black men who don't struggle with ladies, fit into one of the above slots.We all can do that.
That applies to men of all races in the west. We can't get enough of women: "We need more women in STEM! We need more women on boards of directors!", etc etc. Men are the punching bag to women's triumph. It is an ugly thing to live through.
You almost have it figured out. You have to bare in mind? How well you are treated is proportional to the value people see you bring. Think of cells, what is a cells function? To obtain more calories for less energy. This is what all life does. Don't be sad, don't think of yourself as a tool. Everybody wants something and to be valued.
I think its because pookies have nothing and will live off the woman. When that happens, she can maintain her control while claiming she is not single. A man with his sister together is never gonna tolerate a masculine woman. Such men expect women to be submissive to him. BW are the most masculine women on the planet and always ready to fight.
Here's a hard truth though. And a lot of young black men need to understand this. Before thinking about marriage you need to make sure that you are prepared to take care of a wife and a family and be the leader of your household. I generally try to tell young men the best time for them to get married is probably in their early thirties. This gives them enough time to grow up and learn to be self-sufficient as a man and to build a good starting point for their future family.
My husband and his paternal cousins all married in their mid to late twenties. I think men who grow up with fathers are better equipped to be husbands at younger ages. We have all built strong families and been able to achieve financial success while married.
I didn't date much in my twenties, career took center stage. Becoming a professional didn't really leave time for dating are being "social". It's a hard life but dating was just not conducive to achieving goals......"Unless" you have a partner that is at the same point in their lives. If a sister is building and establishing herself the same as you. Then you both realize that it is priority (career) first, friendship 2nd. I say that because without some form of release from work stress you WILL burnout or fall prey to loneliness. Blackmen/women who aren't grounded (past the chasing of relationships or sex) will always fall into the pattern of complacency. They look at friends who are married or friends who have kids and feel as though life is passing them by which is not the case. You shouldn't be having kids if you don't have the family type environment to raise kids in union. Gotta have a house/home and functioning roles to seriously be in a relationship which is the same as marriage if you really mature adults. In closing, I say black men and women have to guard their sexual energy. It's real important because once you fall into that window of having sex to cope with life (work stress) the dopamine that's involved with the act of intercourse will consume most normal people. I want some P, or I need some D....you'll never reach your goals once you give in. Btw, the absence of accountability is a tell tale sign that the person U're with male/ female is just along for the ride. My sister be bumping her gums about non black men don't care about accountability and I constantly stress to her that's because 1 or 2 things, you don't behave the same way U behave when you deal with black men you become submissive or that non black man doesn't plan of having a future relationship with you outside of hooking up and occasionally hanging out...they not trying to wife you so accountability doesn't matter.
Once you learn about Narcissistic traits, trauma bonding, how people become narcissists , you would understand all this dysfunctional behavior in our community. It's really deep stuff.
I mean not a lot of people are actually narcissists in the population, I’ve seen more people that are just more self absorbed and selfish today tho and not to sound like a broken record but social media is a big reason to that and why dating is kinda bad rn, people’s attention spans are so short rn and tend to look for the grass being greener on the other side as soon as a “bump” comes along instead of communicating with eachother
@@Pineapples-Mango_Smoothie no there aren’t 😂 people just use the “Narcissist“ too freely, when in reality it’s a personality disorder that is rare in the population that has to be diagnosed, and with the off chance u bring up those that go undiagnosed, even then the percentage isn’t a lot (covert narcissists). Yes people there are people with problematic behaviors that get shown in relationships but not every person who is selfish, or etc is a narcissist, one trait from it doesn’t equal to someone being an actual narcissist, globally it’s only 1% that are actually with that personality disorder. And im gonna be honest I usually hear it being thrown around by women after break ups rather than the opposite when in reality they might have been with someone who wasn’t ready for a relationship or emotionally immature
We don't talk sis, we take action. Those of us who refuse to play the role BW assigned to us, have given up on BW a long time ago without making a fuss about it. It started in the late 90''es, you are just catching up because a lot of younger BM, are following suit, but they are dating out or leaving the US all together.
The product they’re selling is overpriced. Men can get what she’s offering much cheaper in the marketplace with many options to men. There is a plethora of valuable decent women worldwide from which to choose.
You lie! There are no Pleathora of Valuable decent women. You need to stop trying to be a snake oil sales man and tell men the truth. Men need to settle down with a decent good woman. STOP assuming that good women are plenty around
Women are not a product. Love is not product. It’s about connection and only those who are connected to themselves know that. For everyone else it’s a commodity because they have usually sold themselves (soul, values, morals, etc) somehow.
@@slaybaenayyou can take offense to what he is saying if you want but it goes into what he is saying. Alot of women seem to complain about not being courted anymore, but why would a man court a woman when she has already given up her body to someone that didnt have to put in the effort. There is a dating marketplace and it has cheapened a lot of things. Tinder and hook up culture has commodified humans and the mass acceptance of it has contributed to the problem with relationships today.
I can totally concur with the "invisible black man" theory, I've always noticed that if a black man isn't something special for example a musician, a current or former drug dealer, athlete or any type of high earner then no one is really interested in him or his story. There's no real love for the working class hero, no one writes songs about the 9-5 lifestyle in the "community" that's why most dudes tend to exaggerated or embellish their truth when talking about themselves
It's not even that a lot of guys who are in "nerdy" professions like Tech or Engineering are invisible to these women until they become older with a few kids in tow.
Black men will go outside the USA to find relationships, marriage, and children, and traditional family life like did. I prefer black women. After my divorce, I dated only American black women but gravitated to Jamacian women. I'm married again to a Jamacian and its good. I was able to do this as an older man with adult children. Much more difficult for younger men today.
As much as I talk crap, about blk 👩🏾 wmn who'm I happen to share a culture and a certain level of traumatic stress that has been encoded in our shared DNA. I'm not going to fly halfway across the world to find a 👩🏽🦰Marisal, 👩🏻 Mai Ling, or 👩🏼Ulga who barely speaks English, needs a 90 day visa to visit this country, and will be gone like a fart 💨🤢 in the wind before the ink on her ✍️🏻 green card is dry.
My brother makes 110k a year. He married a Moroccan woman. Another close friend is a roofer makes around 70k he went to Kenya to find a wife. My brother’s wife is helping me to find a Moroccan wife. I was married 2 times to black American Muslim women.
@charlesirby1643 you wish to marry a third time? Were you faultless in the divorces? Not trying to be smart or funny, but you think you will be successful this time because of the woman? I genuinely want to understand your thought process... if you choose to share.
@@Tanniab09 of course I believe in marriage. I’m pro marriage. I don’t believe in I the concept of dating. As far the the first marriage it lasted 12 years. She wanted to walk away from the marriage. I don’t think anyone is completely faultless but she didn’t have a legitimate reason to want out. The second marriage that’s completely my fault. I chose wrong. Take into consideration Muslims are 1% of the population in the United States. I prefer to find a black Muslim wife which less than 1%. The best option is to explore my option abroad as most of my friends did. I have friends with Muslim wives from Kenya, Gambia, Ethiopia and Morocco.
I often ask the question, does a culture that fails to produce marriageable people deserve to exist. BM and BW are free to look elsewhere for mates, no need to argue or bargain with each other. It’s over and we should be ok with it. Decent people will go to other groups to find spouses.
Unless a woman is your wife, you shouldn't pay anything for her. Don't co-habit with anyone. Therefore, don't share jack squat. You can do a better job cooking and buying your food, ironing your clothes, cleaning your place, etc...
A ring or peirce of paper does not constitute marriage as European culture would have so many black people believe, which was used to enslave and control relationships, also a in truth a marriage license is a license of legal prostitution. A true marriage is a covenant between the man and the woman and TMH. Furthermore every thing is geared towards the woman in European cultured societies. And the man in most cases loses everything.
I’d politely argue and say it’s just as competitive to be a woman in todays world. If you are a black woman who wants to be with a black man it’s even more competitive. The fact is, there aren’t a lot of bruthas who are not only physically attractive, but mentally sound, emotionally stable, spiritually enlightened, and have the resources and education to provide fully for his wife and children. There are more white men in this position than black men due to various advantages, but non the less it’s possible for black men to excel. If a black women possesses these qualities and characteristics that I mentioned above and she dates out, she has the advantage, but if she’s stays in the community then it’s very difficult.
@@Divinia93now you see? It’s always a competition with these women smh. We are on the same team BW!! We both have it hard. It’s just to much vitriol in their hearts. This is why I stay away from BW and keep it strictly platonic.
You're right about the invisibility. A lot of guys are suffering from that right now. The way out is by increasing their own sex appeal to women, and/or putting themselves in an environment where they are appreciated and liked
@markaurelius61 hey I'm all about traveling to different countries. But before they even go to a different country, sometimes they just have to go to a different town or state. Vibes can change just a couple of towns away
@@markaurelius61 going abroad is available to anyone who wants to spend 110 - 120 bucks for a passport. The point I'm making is you may not need to go to another country just yet
I went to my sons open house for his 4th grade school yr. The female teacher introduced herself to his mom then proceeded to greet my son but never looked over to greet me, I had to assert my greeting
Nneka, I watch your videos because the foundation of them is COMMON SENSE. Hopefully you are not only "preaching to the choir". Our relationships' goal should be a permanent bond/connection/marriage. For the sake of our future ,more than anything, permanence is needed on the family front. Imagine constructing a home on a temporary foundation, similar to our temporary hookup mentality in relationships.
Black men have always struggled with their place in society. This is nothing new. Black men need to accept the fact that society struggles for them are real and their manhood will always be challenged. Black men and women need to lean on each other to get through what we call life!
I am a black engineer via both education and trade. I can tell you this, in meetings, 90%+ of the time I am The only minority there. And I can truthfully say that my words are not as valued as white women and white men
BGS IBMOR (one of Kevin Samuel's mentors) has covered this topic for almost a decade. I can't speak for non-ADOS Black male/female relationship dynamics, but ADOS men and women being together was never a natural pairing. Read Kenneth Clark's "Dark Ghetto" which served as partial inspiration for the Moynihan Report. The ADOS woman was never brought over to America to be a wife to ADOS men or a mother to her children (particularly her sons). She was brought over here to be a concubine to White men and be a broodmare. There's a reason why as soon as the govt provided welfare ADOS women were the only demographic of women to get rid of their men upon receiving it. There's a reason why ADOS women have 1.2 million more biracial babies than ADOS men. Us being together was always only for survival. While it might be true that ADOS women love their men and boys, the data speaks for itself. And the data would suggest that ADOS women's potential love for ADOS men/boys is not stronger than her programming. In a nutshell, #BGSwasRight. #SYSBM
Thank you those were great points but font forget the ADOS thrived when we were left on our own to Survive because the ADOS built many black wall streets around America (thriving communities) but the other society used the government to tear the ADOS communities apart whether it be bombing cities black Wall Street, or burning them down our side of town. Eminent Domain for the destruction of or communities for freeways and highways. Putting some of our towns underwater. America has and continues to destroy the ADOS community. Send us to these ghettos after integration. Then bringing over immigrants to place over the community who look familiar to us but don’t understand our struggle so that’s another divide tactic. The AFRICAN/CARIBBEAN cousins who see our position and blame us for our position in life when we have a system that promotes the destruction of us. Where our A/C cousins don’t like themselves or trust black people because they came from Black ran nations that were rampant with problems. So they have faith in the Wyt Savior not realizing that the same Wyt corrupted their nation and robbed them of they’re riches . Haiti 🇭🇹 just got done paying off it’s debt to the French government from a war conflict from over 200 yrs ago. Imagine if Haiti 🇭🇹 had all its money from its resources since 1804 they would be much better off but our African/Caribbean cousins aren’t ready for that convo as well as the feminist conversation that place women over men
I totally disagree with this but it’s tough to disprove when plenty of signs point towards it. I personally think blacks did have a time period in which things worked but being the nature of the situation within this country. Outside factors and our own personal choices has created this environment. I think our issue has more to do with “game” culture than slavery. Once we go down the because of slavery path then many other points can be based off of that. I’m not playing that game.
To be fair most groups have couples who are together out of necessity. Think the European immigrants coming in dirt poor through Ellis Island. Same for more recent immigrants from Asia, Africa, and Latin America. No matter the reason Black men and women were brought over. The shared experience created a shared culture. It is just as natural for the ADOS Black man and woman to couple as it is for any other man and woman who share a culture.
@@joejett5084 There's a few contradictions in your comment. ADOS people, our culture, our psychology, etc. didn't just fall out of the sky. Chattel Slavery, Black Codes, Convict Leasing, Reconstruction, Sharecropping, Jim Crow, Redling etc. weren't consequence-free events that literally created the nation but somehow managed to not yield intergenerational reverberations. We have a very real problem quieting our egos and accepting the truth of the matter. In the words of Keving Samuels, "BGS [was] right." ruclips.net/p/PLX66YPHhRmvUe3OoyLKPu8HXXa6INP7dN&si=I90OxGf1CLZ2dWjZ
@@bluewave3417 In what manner did these other groups come to America? Were they ultimately absorbed into either Whiteness or made into a buffer class? It's called "historical context". Prior to early 1800s, before the importation of slaves became illegal, Black female slaves weren't brought over to the US in the same numbers as Black males. And when they started to be brought over here in greater numbers, it wasn't to be wives. The pairings between ADOS men and women after Emancipation in 1865 was out of survival. The studies have all been done. We have the data. At this point, it's just an issue of cognitive dissonance.
Nobody on average is making six figures. No group. As for accountability with Pookie, most men would disagree. Our experience as men is that many women want men that they can control and men who have their stuff together are not dependent on a woman. The Pookie in your bed depends on you like a child in some ways. Though I do think that women like men with a backbone.
No one should care why women like pookies, it’s their life to ruin, and society needs to be ok with letting those women suffer the consequences of their choices without an ounce of sympathy or compassion. Men should learn from a very young age to only deal with women smart enough to avoid what black culture currently teaches.
There was a study done that studied the difference between how men view average or unattractive women and how women viewed average or unattractive men. The study determined that men's brains registered unattractive women with disgust. And it determined that women's brains didn't even register men that they didn't find attractive. It begged the question of; which is worse? To be invisible, or to be seen in a disgusting light?
Personally I believe being viewed with disgust is worse. Something you view as disgusting you will dehumanize and try to destroy. Being invisible you get left alone.
The "Child" analogy has me shaking my head as there is an ocean of truth in in. But even in scripture, when I was a child, I thought like a child. Now that I am a man/adult, I must think like a man/adult. My take is there are a core group of women who are still thinking like a child.
Bro I’m 6’3 220 and BW will try their hardest to make you feel small. I had a 5’2 woman call me “lil daddy”. I’m convinced they have an inferiority complex when it comes to men they can’t control. When they see you with women of other races it fuels their feelings of inadequacy because most BW envy and emulate women of other races. It’s real deep bro
Being invisible and insignificant to modern black women is not a bad thing for us. Some of us actually would prefer that they see right through us. Because life is short, and often times it's just a waste of our precious time and effort. And I like to learn from others mistakes. Just sit back and watch all the drama.
The first man makes a good point! Let me break it down: Prioritize a man’s positive character traits instead of how he makes you feel ladies! Guys can talk that talk but can they walk the walk! Ladies go for the slick guys but but are they guys who can give you what you want in the long term? Ladies if not, you chose these guys! Take some accountability for your actions!
I think another content creator pointed out a profound point. Black women oftentimes, because of shame, guilt, and other traumatic experiences, are very intimidated by masculine, orderly, intelligent, protecting, and providing men. The "taming"or accountability aspect that comes from men like this is slightly different because we won't fight with you. We'll just leave. I'd like to see you do a video with a mental health professional L.C.M.H.C. (Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor) or L.C.M.H.T. (Licensed Clinical Mental Health therapist) To address in-depth mental health dynamics that get in the way of relationships such as Dystamia or BDP or Narcissistic disorder, etc. I see a lot of these dynamics with women mostly, but I'm sure they play apart with men.
This is sad and it's all by design, they dont want black men and black women together. They fear that so they set up all of these traps to keep us feuding with each other. And yeah i always felt invincible but when im with a woman outside my race all the sudden i get noticed lol smh
Hypergamy isn't just about money. A chick simply has to see a guy as being "better than" in some way. Secondly, hypergamy is a natural thing, and it's difficult to fight against nature, especially when it's a part of their nature that a person that they are not acknowledging.
This is VERY true. I’m a college grad, small business owner from a two-parent household, stable family. I’ve had stretches where I’ve attracted ratchet Baby mommas just off section 8 with multiple Baby daddies. You don’t always attract what you are. But I realized MOST BW strive to date above their level - the “better than” concept you allude to. And not saying education or stability makes me Better* than some of these women. But most are punching above their weight, so to speak, by design.
If we agree to this, then are we also agreeing that monogamy in men isn't natural? Testosterone causes most men to want multiple partners, yet we're constantly told we should settle for one for the better of the community. Now, I'm being told that women can't instinctively ignore their biological desire for hypergamy, and we should just accept it. Nah, if hypergamy is accepted, non monogamy should be accepted.
@@ahmorganI believe that not being monogamous in marriage leads to many of the problems we have. I believe that the problems we have in relationships is due to both men and women having more than one sexual partne. You might not agree with me, but honestly all the baggage that men and women bring to relationships come from multiple sexual partners. And people don't realize.
@@ahmorgan one thing has nothing to do with the other. But technically, monogamy in humans in general is unnatural. It's a learned behavior that every generation of humans struggle with in one form or another.
@@Tanniab09 most of the problems we have in marriage are linked to not being honest/lack of communication, marrying for the wrong reasons, and trying to have the type of marriage we are taught we are supposed to have instead of creating the type of marriage that works for us.
Nneka, I genuinely appreciate the insights you share in your videos. My perspective on why some Black women are attracted to men often referred to as "Pookie and Ray Ray" differs from the common view. I perceive it as Black women engaging with these men in a manner that can be likened to a historical dynamic between slave masters and slaves. Occasionally, the slave master may need to quell a rebellion, but they often believe they can control the insurrection. Similarly, Black women who involve themselves with "Pookie and Ray Ray" may do so with a specific purpose in mind, such as seeking potential sperm donors. I say this without reservation: all individuals, regardless of gender, are calculative in their actions, and Black women are no exception. Consequently, any accountability these women may hold "Pookie and Ray Ray" to is usually short-lived, as their primary goal, in many cases, is to have a child, after which they may part ways with these men. This parallel extends to the historical relationship between slave masters and slaves, as they would dispose of a slave once they had extracted all they needed. In essence, the Black woman and the slave master, while different in many ways, exhibit similar behavior patterns. This comparison is not based on skin color but rather on the dynamics of power and control. A closer observation of their interactions with Black men reveals a shared tendency to dislike and undermine an empowered Black man. Both the Black woman and the historical slave master tend to resist being in a position where an empowered Black man asserts his strength.
Great talk! My opinion is: Black people could benefit from taking a break from intimate, romantic relationships for 1 generation for the purpose of doing deep work (being sincerely intentional about getting to know self). Great examples include therapy (sometimes trying a few counselors until the right fit is achieved). Other examples are meditation practice, attuning with nature, reading, education, giving back and volunteer work, healing absentee father/mother wounds, inner child work, learning how to set/maintain HEALTHY boundaries, learning about HEALTHY family structure, prioritizing self reliance/love above codependence and manipulation upon and of others.
This is the best comment. Every time I meet a black person 9 times out of 10 they project their unhealed traumas. Black Men are too eager to have sx way too soon. Degrading themselves to an object that can be easily discarded. Black women are too defensive. Both need to heal from generational curses and start valuing themselves. Instead of running away unhealed to others.
I mean yes, but numbers are voting power. Unless we put that time also into uplifting and educating the less fortunate children of the community we would find ourselves in an even more powerless position at the end of that generation that failed to reproduce.
There's so much trauma underneath and it gets passed from genreration to generation. Consider these statistics: a) 35% of Black women experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime, b) 40-60% of Black women report being subjected to coercive sexual contact by age 18, c) 1 in 5 Black women are survivors of rape, and d) 38% of Black women experienced sexual violence other than rape during their lifetime. Now think about the mothers of these women. Their grandmothers. The trauma is in our DNA. Women want safety and security and when they've experienced trauma, their need for control can go into overdrive: this can look like being too controlling or being with someone who is very controlling. Then, we turn it all on each other. It's sad. The woman you spoke with sounds like she thinks money is the only thing that can make her feel safe. And if you're premise about accountability is correct, I would say it's because of the sense of security that can come from having firm guidance. I haven't even begun to talk about the trauma Black boys and men experience. The book Heavy by Kiese Laymon was too much for me to even finish at first, but it paints a really powerful picture of how Black boys and men are vicitimized too.
Black men live in the system but it's more acceptable for him to be mistreated and abused, there's a tic toc group that says abort baby boys and the funny thing is that's what the Bible said the plan of a devil is to kill the boys
The problem with those sexual violations at a young age is mostly due to not having the father in the home! As long as not having the father in the home is not valued and respected, these problems will continue, and get worse. Also, boys are being sexually violated too, but this is not discussed due to the devaluation of men and boys.
This is why I’m so sick of Black people acting like women are supposed to submit to men. I never hear my White friends talking about women submitting. Why should anyone submit unless they are into S & M?
I was married to a sorority hyena for 19 years. It was horrible.., should have bounces a long time ago. Being asked for a divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I am dating a conservative sista , who isn’t on social media, doesn’t require other men for attention and validation, isn’t going on girls trips, hanging out at bars with her single friends. We attend church every Sunday, do things out with other happy couple. We are considerate and respectful to each other, she isn’t stingy with the loving either. I finally have peace with a feminine, fit, and friendly sista. I am now considering putting a ring on her finger. There are good women out here, but they aren’t wearing 304 outfits, fake everything, and don’t have a high body count. Be choosy fellas, and change your mindset. Be on a mission to better yourself, stay busy , get in the gym, and vett them properly. Get your passport and experience something different.
What Exactly Does Your "Conservative Sista" And Her Cohorts "Conserve"? Perhaps You May Know, Because None Of The "Black Conservatives" That I Pose This Question To Have Had An Answer🤷🏿♂️.
Thank you for your balanced content. It is refreshing. I see a pattern among many of our women that makes them believe that all they have to is be pretty and nothing more. This entitled behavior has caused me many problems in 18 years of marriage. My role as a traditional man and the expectation of me is clear and without debate. But the lines get blurry when we bring up what a woman’s duty is to her husband. The responsibility has been compared to being a maid, and a slave, and I am suffering. The need to control and be right is extreme. The emotional, mental and psychological trauma is weighty and I realize I am not alone. Thank you for addressing this pandemic head on. Sincerely.
If you’re going through that man, try to get some kind of counseling if you want to keep the relationship alive. And make sure YOU choose the therapist so you don’t get ambushed by some feminist therapist who low key hates men and will gaslight you.
@ghostdog2084 Youre one of thise sad and defeated BM or worse, you're white, inserting yourself in these conversations to sow division. BM are easy prey for corrupt thinking or commentary like yours. This is part of the yte mans plans which you are likely an incel whether yte or blk
@@juliatripp2010Feminists, particularly black feminists have a problem with black male leadership. They mostly want to be in charge of the relationship/ marriage, and the man finances the relationship, which is ridiculous! I've been a traditional man in both of my marriages, yet BW have problems being a traditional wife. They say one thing and do another. Too many chameleons out there!
❤️ what you said about Pookie and ray Ray's is so true.. Also The majority of men who are "responsible" like me 😊 or value accountability, don't understand that attraction is NOT a choice. Some of them DO, and you will never hear those ones complaining about wemens behavior cuz they understand how they think. A WOMAN CANNOT CONTROL HER ATTRACTION FOR A MAN. 👈🏽 And this is what is so challenging for men that spent ALL their life in other areas like money and spent zero time understanding the reason why you can't keep a woman on the basis of being a billionaire alone. You can't look at wemen like a human , NO... You have to look at them like they are a subject in a classroom. Even if the pookies and rays look dirty and unkempt to the rest of us, with tattoos that make their body look like a vision board, The ladies are attracted to the IDEA that if "if I don't act right, if I don't respect this guy, there is a very good chance I will be punished severely for it"... I could go on, but they loose respect for a man who has LITTLE boundaries. It's like since you can Afford to let the female get away with so much , that freedom is the very thing that chips away at the respect they have for you. It's PHUCKED up but thats the typical female, ESPECIALLY the educated ones, they fall the fastest because they POSESS the attention spans to listen to the WHOLE BS of pookie or ray ray. You can either use such information to have an unfair advantage OR continue to complain . I've seen a dude change a woman's WHOLE value system with this understanding... These wemen are not in control of their feelings bro.
You know whats crazy. I never feel invisible to BW I feel their disdain for me, lol. I'll be sungazing outside early in the morning in front of my apartment complex in a mixed area in LA and 2 out of 6 will smile and say hi, but the other 4??? My goodness its like an awful energy if they make eye contact. Some avoid eye contact at all cost. Its like a natural hate. Yeah they could be divestors but I divest sometimes and I've still always looked at sistas with love or community especially in non black environments. I don't feel disdain everywhere from them but just saying even out and about casually I feel that usually. I'm actually more likely to put them in invisibility mode if I can sense the disdain early on.
Disdain is definitely the correct term and I’ve felt the same daily doing basic things out and about. You innocently catch eyes with a BW or cross paths. Maybe 1 in 8 will say Good morning? Smile? Acknowledge me in passing. Overwhelming majority lower the heads, avert their eyes, frown up like they’re expecting me to holla like Pookie or some even snarl. 😂😂😂 it’s complete projection of insecurity and bad experiences so I try not to take it personally. But a white or Latina will present waaaaay more friendly without even flirting. It’s honestly sad that SO many BW carry such negative energy day to day. Definitely not the natural order.
I live in an upscale White area in Cali. I never know how a BW or BM will react to me. Everyone doesn't react the same. But, I can’t count on a BM or BW being cordial here by the Bay.
I don't make eye contact or speak to black men because the city/Dallas I currently reside in alot of the black men have a disdain for black women especially darkskinned black women. I will never forget I was out one nite and I was joking around with this black guy and he got an whole attitude with me. After that I was done with black men as far as trying to talk and just enjoy their company. I give them the same energy they give me. If they don't speak nor talk I don't either. It is truly sad because I never use to be like that.
@@thetruesoulofanaquarius9302 does this men you’ll make eye contact or speak casually to Men of other races? And, in your example you spoke of One* bad encounter with a BM while WE actually had Several with Enough BW to draw the same conclusions.
@@seensay2132to be honest I just feel more comfortable nowdays talking and speaking to non black men before I do black men. Black men nowadays have such a nasty attiude, and dark energy about them especially when it come to black women.I just try to stay out yall way/mind my business. I highly doubt you had several encounters like that with black women. Black women always have been thirsty, pick mes and chase after black men.
Another thing I remember working as an educator for 17 years. When I worked in a school that the staff was predominantly non black.. The men had no problems socially with others. But I noticed certain sistas complained about getting the cold shoulder or non black men and women avoiding them. One sista in particular was telling me that I already know why..I didn't say it's your attitude. I am work so I learn to not let my emotions get the best of me so I just smile..but her attorney is definitely a turn off. An if I didn't have to work with her I wouldnt sought her out socially. But I just said to her. Huh I never had that problem. I wanted her to come to conclusion as to why..to add insult to injury. Every time a Hispanic, white or Asia CO worker came around me, they always spoke to me and interacted with Me in front of her.. I remember two sistas got together saying they had the same experience....I said huh me and misses so and so don't have that experience. This one tall pretty black lady who was always happy and positive energy. Everyone spoke to her. An it was evident that she didn't have issues with interactions. But I made a point to let them see it was only them singled out. Because frankly if it was predominantly black staff I wouldn't mess with them either.. How they talk is condescending and arrogant and stern..when they simply a colleague. It's like they trying to measure their dxxxc size and they are women. I'm not saying that's most sistas who have that issue. But people went out of their way to personally avoid atleast 3 of them. But that's another perception sistas give other races...that cause the invisibility
Yesss, I have started noticing that when I’m out in mixed crowds or even a predominantly white location, I still draw attention from non black people. Both men & women because I’m overall a friendly person & I make eye contact/small talk with people. If there’s other bw around they may get that side eyed stare or completely ignored. I concluded a vast majority of bw just don’t have that cultural diversity, intrapersonal communication, and self esteem to acquire relationships outside the black community. They won’t admit this, but I do believe making mockery of men advances, having a stuck up mean girls persona, teaming up as the only black women or ignoring eye contact will not draw anybody’s attention. It’s defense mechanisms for unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. Yes included past traumas in our community. But we must move past this. Sorry for the paragraph, just my thoughts on that comment.
@@desdior1207 i enjoyed your comment, i dont think that we can blame past traumas on why certain sistas are rude, mean, disrespectful or idiotic. They get away with that crap with 85% of heterosexual married black men because most brothas just learn to tolerate it out race loyalty. The other 15% just decide to marry outside of their race. Most brothers myself included refuse to marry because of that nasty attitude and ghetto bravado. We just see them as Box or wet wet. An when that sassy mouth come out, invite her to the door and say its been fun, you have a good evening. I will say i have seen sistas peer pressure other sistas into being mean and evil like them. Its usually not outside sources. Its usually their peers, who use manipulation, shunning, isolation, teasing, insults, shaming and guilt to make other sistas feel bad for being that way. They will deem being articulate, Bougie, Nice and Kind and sweet as something bad. Also lets just say anyone over the age 21 who is mean girl, at a certain point is just their choice. You choose to be that way. This older women i been seeing for over a decade, She has younger neighbors, She knows for a fact the lady upstairs who is like 21 has her baby daddy/boyfriend living with her an that dude is mentally off kilt. he be cussing himself out walking around outside. weird. Any way, they be upstairs fighting, moving furniturn around an bumping on the floor, an her mouth is always yelling an cussing at him every single day. You would think they would get of tired of that every day for entire year. But nope its a choice. She had another neighbor who was the same way, an she was saying its the men her life. i kept saying Nope its her. Because once her an that dude broke up she got a new man, an it was the same exact scenario like she didnt miss a beat, arguing an cussing him out an them going back and forth. These women are simply toxic, an they like being that way. Its not past truama. its not racism, segregation or slavery as an excuse. They just arent good people and other races of people arent so tolerant of such ignorance. i remember there was this black lady, who was very nice and sweet, she was always happy, an spoke to everyone, An she was just easy to talk too, i remember one co-worker was saying when the SSD Para walks in the room they never speak to her, infact there was an incident when i was speaking to her, an she said something to me off putting i guess to put me in my place or what ever, so i was still cordial with her because i work with her i but i no longer went out of my way to be friendly to her or speak to her if i didnt have too, she didnt even notice the change. But the other ladies didnt speak to her all. Ambigous sistas have this need to belittle, emasculate, or talk condscending to people. As to one up them. All it does it turn people off to them an we dont want to mess with them. i remember the same lady saying the asian and hispanic and wyte ladies at job didnt speak to her, i make it point to show her in her room off those ladies having whole conversations with me and not her. She said its beause your a black man, then i mentioned the other two sistas who everyone spoke one too, one was a counselor, and the other was 3rd grade teacher like her. I said look how all the ladies speak to them in the breakroom, an i asked what makes them different because they black women to. I didnt want to come out an tell her at work why no one wants to talk to her an some of the other ladies. i wanted her to figure it out.
@@desdior1207 im sorry for the long reply. But she stated it was colorism. this was back in the early 2000's before all these youtube channels, she and few other women who were dark skin were all saying its colorism this and that. I said well everyone speaks to misses so and so and so an so, an there darker skin too??? they may be older, but their still dark skin? An the speak to other two teachers who are brown skin and one who is light skin. But not because of her color. One dark skin lady who was a nurse was chiming in, an i said all the other races of women always talk to you. they feel comfortable with you, Everyone seems to get along with you an your the darkest lady here. they love talking your head off, infact everytime your sitting down in the teachers lounge they engage you. AT first she was jumping on the bandwagon then she stop and i can see her eyes shift into thought, an her cognitive dissonace dissipated. But i think she realize what was happening, because i notice a shift in her behavior, she started being rude to the wyte ladies who reached out to speak to her. She was never liked that at first. I think she realize what it was an did it out of racial solidarirty. but she was only rude to the beckies, not other black men. i would loved to tell them outright what it was, an how they as sistas make us feel. So they could see that even other races of women dont want to talk to them. An now i keep hearing them complain about brothers are afraid to approach them. Brothers dont have confience. Brothers want to exotic women not their own and they dont like they mama, Nah my mama and older women in her generation dont have that nasty vitrollic mouth. Brothers Dont like you and how your personality it was i like to tell them. Being Sassy is not attractive, Being Ghetto is not attractive. i be seeing these podcast say men like mean girls or men like B#%thces this is only going to exhasterbate the issue and make it so more men either go semen retention and celibacy or go outside their race. For our sistas to be so eduated its baffling how they can see the correlation.
Black women and men have a difficult time getting along because of the following reasons. Black women are often seen as a threat to black men's success, and black men are seen as being disrespectful to black women. This has resulted in a lack of communication and trust between the two genders. Additionally, black women are often seen as being less approachable and harder to build relationships with. This has created a cycle of mistrust and frustration between the two groups, making it difficult to build meaningful and successful relationships. As a result, black women and black men are often unable to work together in harmony. This lack of communication and trust between the two genders is caused by a variety of factors, including historical stereotypes, a lack of access to resources and opportunities, and a general lack of understanding of each other's perspectives. This has created a toxic environment that makes it difficult to bridge the gaps and build a better relationship between black women and black men. For example, black women often feel as if black men are not supportive of their causes or do not prioritize their issues, while black men may feel that black women are not respectful of their contributions or do not recognize their efforts. This disconnect is further compounded by the historical legacy of racism and sexism, which has created a sense of mistrust and animosity between black women and black men that can be difficult to overcome. However, there are also many examples of successful relationships between black women and black men, such as Michelle Obama and Barack Obama. These couples have demonstrated that it is possible to overcome differences and find mutual respect and understanding. Thus, it is possible to bridge the divide between black women and black men and create a positive future for relationships between the two.
Since the social contract between BM & BW no longer exists, there is no need to try and “fix” what is broken. BW proclaimed their independence and have been moving in that direction for decades. It’s ok. We no longer need each other to survive and are free to find love from whichever group we can. Let it go.
@@hwoodist When you find love, interracial dating and marriage are not wrong. In spite of this, people who are mistreated do not have respect for one another, regardless of what race they choose to date. Respect for one another is essential for any successful relationship, regardless of race. Without respect, it is difficult for any relationship to thrive and grow. Therefore, it is important for people to be mindful of their actions and respect each other regardless of their race.
A lot of issues are caused by the breakdown of family in the black community. Black men and women have lacked proper male role models in many cases with a correspondent trend of strong female leaders (home, school). This imbalance has created negative dynamics in male- female relationships. Also, I believe we do not really see ourselves in the best light. We constantly allow the worst stereotypes to go unchallenged. Is there bad? Yes. However, there is alot of great things and people who are doing great and have positive relationships. The positives need to be highlighted. Inspite of the many bad relationships there are many strong, positive and great ones.
I'm sooooooo damn glad I'm out of this mess. I'm an older Black Man and single and prefer to stay that way. This is a mess for the younger generation. It just wasn't this complicated when I grew up. If you had a job, took care of yourself and your responsibilities you were sought after.
Impromptu Survey Response here Nneka: I watch your videos because 1) they make me think and 2) you are very calming to my mind. I find myself responding to your gentle, thoughtful nature and even when you mention names like Kevin Samuels, and even this discussion on BW and the possible subconscious need to be held accountable, or even more submissive to our men, I am not triggered. I used to listen to a particular BW who was very loud (not a negative), but angry and just raging which was too much for me. I had to stop. Her content and style stirred up anger towards BM, something I like to think I let go of long ago. I like your measured, calm and thoughtful approach. I find myself wanting to listen and I think is an important reason for yr channels success. I think BW and BM are struggling bcz of things not originally of our making. Forces have split our community since arriving on these shores and have been relentless. BW having to be single mothers and shoulder much of the responsibilities of raising children for absentee fathers, I think has led to this class of 'boss'/ bossy/ unsubmissive BW who then develop high expectations for BM, too many who dont and/or cant fit the bill especially emotionally, and thus financially. And who have fled to much less traumatized cultures which retraumatizes us. Then we BW who've figured out how to survive without our men, yet again - are at fault. We start looking for high earners and men who can handle 'all the bills' to prove their so called 'high value' because of a historical deficit, I think. As you know abt me, Ive checked out the struggle dating scene and have gone to an virtual 'neverland' while our people are navigating a real neverland. But I hope we can figure this out before we have been completely absorbed into other races. There is such beauty, power and raw talent we have. Its being dissolved. I look at African culture and I admit, I am in awe of their self love and their unadulterated black beauty
My 70 yr. old advice to young men, black or white who want a family. Focus on your success until your at least in your 40s. Find a young women 15 to 30 years younger who has no children but wants a family. Have a 80/20 income relationship. You probably won't find this with an American female presently unless youre very lucky.? Try the passport route. This is/was the norm for thousands of years and it worked. Modern contraception has destroyed procreation.
I think you should try to build something with a good woman at age late 20/ early 30s and have a good skill. If you start a family at 40 by the time they reach their 20s your going to be in your 60s. And how much are you going to have in common with a woman who’s 30 years younger ? 15 maybe .
Question. A lot of BW will take Single Big Momma? Divorced Mother? Bitter & Lonely Auntie’s word about their bad experiences with men to heart. And carry that energy into dating. But when you talk to Happily Married BW, most will say money/career/status weren’t prioritized in finding their husbands. Sooooooooooo why aren’t More sistahs listening to THEM to set realistic standards finding Husband material????
We need our elders who has wisdom in this to put people in their place. I get everybody got their own opinion their own views all of that is great, but sometimes those that have been there before us can unveil what actually works and may not work for everybody but something to go off.
Richard Wright literally wrote a book speaking to this invisibility. Although it dealt with the issue of race rather than relationships, it is a reality for black men in the U.S. However, when you consider what some of us say about black women being white supremacist, your idea is not far fetched.
16:40 I ABSOLUTELY 100% DISAGREE! Pookie and Ray Ray are the only men they can talk to crazy because Pookie and Ray Ray need them for a place to stay and to borrow their car while they are at work. Working black women have leverage over those men because those men need them to sustain themselves. A black man who has his life in order with a career and his own everything does not need tolerate disrespect or unbecoming behavior because he doesn't need that woman to survive, he wants her for companionship and love. That is why many black women hate good men they can't bully them into submission because they have no leverage. All they can leverage over a good man is peace, calm and cooperation but we know many black women veiw that as "slavery".
You stole the words right out of my mouth. It's all about control. BW know that Pookie and Ray Ray will be dependent on them. Many of our women can not wrap their heads around the idea of submitting to any man.
Black men and women are going to have to make a deal because where this nation is headed being separated and independent is not going to continue to be a sustainable option. The influx of migrants show that one group of people are being ushered in which means another group is being ushered out and sadly that group of people are black Americans. This idea of not settling is going to have to be done away with and the two must work together with what we both have in order to survive these next coming years
Quite the opposite actually. Women choose the Pookie because of the control over the relationship. The Pookie will tolerate all her red flags. She doesn't need to take him seriously. Women today will live in the lie they tell themselves just for the external validation she can get. But they do admire and resent being exposed to those lies at the same time...The DMV is the core of the Matrix that majority of people operate in the delusion but are so inadequate with themselves in reality.
Great video.. You make some valid points 😌.. However, in the dating market today, the vast majority of women gravitate towards men who allow them to move how they wanna move.. When u start holding the women (majority) accountable, they get this uncomfortable feeling and move away.. I’m talking about attractive women who can get many men.. only a small percentage of these women will consistently accept accountability 😌
True. People (men or women) with options will treat you like an option. Rather than correct themselves, they'll move on to the next bc in their minds they aren't the problem.
52,000 for Black Men. Again, your suppose to get married and combine salaries but BW no longer want to do that. They claim its "Struggle Love". So the men have moved on. I wish nothing but luck to the ladies.
I am shocked by the level of cultural dislocation in the African American population. The image of the women is terrible, mostly single mothers, no respectful, even shout to men a tabou in Africa Asia and south America m.
We are warned not to eat from strangers, and because we disregard this instruction, we will forever suffer. Keep in mind that the process the foods we are eating are chemicaly enhanced to create enmity between ourselves.
Its the 80 20 rule most guys know we not Chad and we need other qualities just to attract the right woman for us we dont need all the girls to notice us just that one and she is her…
also inflation of prices without income to adjust to new inflation. It puts women in a, “all or nothing” high stakes game. the only way it will balance out is if war, pestilence, famine and poverty is all in our grasp again. as that will be the only way women will see the intrinsic value of man again, our physical strength, virility, stamina and endurance. as the world becomes easier and easier through industrialization; the incentives for a committed relationship become less and less. Ecclesiastes 1:9 New International Version 9 What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
We didn't get along before social media. This problem is 50 years old. Social media exposed many aspects of the problem, and now BM have a say in it. BM didn't have a voice in the problem before social media. Now that BM are speaking about our sharing our experiences, there's a problem....
@@ricorogers9319 Bud, I hate to tell you this? But yes it was. . . . . . . Precious' story existed long before Tiktok and makes Metamorphosis (a greek tragedy hiding behind an erotic manga) look tame.
If you wanna sell your soul in this world you can its not hard ,black men dont feel invisible or insignificant ,most are noticing you have to sell your soul to be on top and to get some of these women jezebels and you have to i repeat have to be worldly ,and they not going out like that so they ignoring wordly women,its not the other way around .
For me personally I have always thought that hey maybe me as black guy doing my favorite hobby such as anime or video games left me on an island growing up which lead me to not be noticed alot from some women but majority black women. I never argued or talked down about black women for it hey if Im not your cup of tea than that is ok with me, but Im not going to lie and say that it didnt make me feel a certain way like am I doing somethin wrong or am I the problem. Now to be fair today is different I grew up in a different time Im 32 so now alot of younger women in general date guys who have those hobbies more which is good for the younger guys who do. A very good video as usual. Dont forget about MTR .
Me too my bro , iam 40. Thought the same thing. It’s a black community thing. How get more respect going jail than getting a masters degree. Black community has a long history of promoting ignorance and stupidity.
Not only is it not realistic, it’s also economically foolish. For example, if expenses are 100 whatever, and income is 100 or even more whatever. The net value is zero or slightly more than zero. Reducing expenses by 50% also results in a 50% gain in net income.
As far as feeling invisible. As a Young Man I did feel some kind of way when I faced rejection from the sisters. Certainly both young men and women can be foolish in their youth but I think it goes back to being prepared as a Young Man. And a big culprit for this is that most black men are not being taught that a young man needs to build himself before taking on another responsibility such as a wife and a family. This is even more so I today because a lot of young men are raised in a single parent home and they may not have that male component or a healthy male mentor to teach them these things. Notice in the Bible that a lot of the men that got married was older. For example, Isaac, the son of Abraham, was 40 years old before he took a wife and his father chose the wife for him. No, I'm not saying we need to do that that was their culture and their time but the point I'm making is that these men were established before taking on the responsibility of a wife and a family. That's why it's imperative that young black men and women don't waste their youth on wild & reckless living. Especially if marriage and building a family is something that is desired in the future. I wanted add to my comment. It's funny that you are hypothesizing that maybe some black man feel invisible. I brought to mind a book or read a while back call The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.
@17:00 I agree. Life is not safe and women know they'd rather be with the danger than the lick. It doesn't benefit women many times to be nice and well-mannered for a world that doesn't protect and reward nice and well-mannered women. They want to be held accountable. What for? Honestly thats up to the men they respect.
What I fine to be disturbing is that everyone keeps say g how black men don’t make money; as if we are being carried somehow. That’s definitely not true. Almost all the brothers I know own houses and are doing well; taking trips in and out of the country! Most even have their own businesses
Please remember Black women have Black babies and predominately raise Black children that they give birth to. So, for any complaints or defects please focus on talking to the manufacturer. Cognitive dissonance is rampant in the Black family unit starting with the mothers who raise thier son's one way while at the same time displaying to their son's and daughters they don't want a relationship let alone be married to a Black man no matter how much money the Black man makes. Peace and Real Love. #AccountabilityMatters! #PlayYourRole #DoYourPart
@@boycottactivision If that was the case every territory populated by Black Women would be oversaturated with BW/WM couples. Maybe in that little noggin of yours, but overall your speaking an untruth. All the BW in my family are with BM, FACTS!!
@@blackwolverine1 The issue with that theory is for WM/BW relationships to happen, WM have to want BW Back. Studies show every group of Men want their own Wmn. WM from the same study said they believe BW are not for Marriage but "Fun". Book: "The Dating Divide". By PHD Sociologist Jennifer Lundquist..
2:00 A single mother with kids will only let a man lead if he comes in and pays 100% of the bills. So, he has to essentially pay for her AND all of her kids to get respect. You can't make this stuff up. And honestly, I'm sure that even if a man did all that she would not let him lead because I see that happen too often. You have to give up some level of control to be in a healthy relationship (whether you're male or female). That's really the issue she has and if she does not want to give up ANY control, then yes stay single and save everyone the grief. The problem is, that mentality is fine as long as you can work and have your "good job." The minute you get chronically sick, are laid off, etc then all hell breaks loose when it's all on you (i.e., don't have a partner). Black women are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs but also the fastest growing group of the homeless population due in part to this hyper focus on independence.
For many years I wanted the “love jones”, “love and basketball” situations, but then over time you have to let the idea go. Then go for “love and lacrosse” Lol
I spoke as a african american man with a economcis professor from Uganda the other day and we both laughed so hard together. social media and instagram only perpetuated and destroyed peoples households and the rich used it to subjugate middle class families and create isolation and poverty. We have unreal standards in our communities through false material posessions. It wasnt what our ancestors grandmothers and great grandmothers based family off of. Thats why black women are making videos talking about dating other single moms and being exhausted. Being a strong single mother isnt cool when your children are being prayed on by beuracratic marxists who are engineering poverty for their own gain.
Interesting. So if bw in general subconsciously seek accountability but consciously avoid it, what is the root cause of the struggle? Could it be insecurity? If you have an overwhelming need to be a "boss," to be a "10," to think YOU are the "prize," to think that everything about you is "intimidating" to anyone who won't put up with you, are you going to be open to accountability? If the prompt to take accountability is coming from the very men you have an overwhelming need to think you are better than and that accountability is essentially an admission of a deficit, will a person lacking humility be motivated to take that on? The irony is taking accountability to aid in one's evolution is ultimately a sign of strength but through the lens of insecurity probably seems like the opposite
@nnekaonyilofor thought provoking video. This is the second time I've seen you address this subject matter and on the surface it seems to be the opposite of what you're suggesting but when you really contemplate everything that's on display, you might be on to something
That sister, you mentioned in the beginning it’s very sad case because for her to be an educated, businesswoman and reduce black men to just bill payers is ridiculous. Women like that who gravitate to the Pookie and Ray Ray’s it’s not about accountability. It’s about sex and being able to have your cake and eat it too, and She knows that she can’t hold them accountable. It’s about the lack of accountability if anything. They don’t care about her they want to be taken care of, but her needs can be met in the bedroom and no real man who has that mentality of a husband or a father isn’t going to tolerate that foolishness either, but she also now has three children by some other man or men and the type of man she truly desires and needs her life won’t accept being a stepfather, generally speaking without him being much older. We already know it’s a lot of variables here so she’ll be single and have her cat or dog with her children after college and living their own lives one day, but if she’s willing to, except that, so be it.
Our society is no longer made for one income families. Women that insist on only dating men able to pay all the bills can stay happily single. Plenty of people are looking for interdependence.
In a world where men had to split their $1 paycheck down to $0.50 so women can join the workforce to earn the other $0.50, women still expect men to provide $1 worth of lifestyle.
No one ever mentions building character based on integrity, trustworthiness, and honor with males. Why? Finance is a foundation, but not sufficient for a healthy partnership/marriage/parental role. A man must be safe in several ways.
Most chicks who say a guy must make 6 figures or more in order for her to submit to him and let him lead are usually either unrealistic or being disingenuous. They either unrealistically believe far more guys make that kinda money than who actually does, or disingenuously setting the bar to a level they know most guys can't reach so that they can have the excuse of being the way that they are or as an excuse to retain power and control.
I think you are right brother. It's a justification for not being on program. If they got the six figure guy, he would be too controlling or some other excuse to justify bad behavior.
@@aprilclover2429 lol you're not listening nor watching close enough of you don't hear it from WM. Plenty of them on here and FB I have heard and seen say the same or similar things. Rather you call it submissive or cooperative or receptive, it is the same thing. Changing the wording doesn't change the concept nor the meaning.
Some black women treat black guys like credit cards or lesser. I've heard black women talk about the differences in how they approach white guys as apposed to black guys. They say black guys have a understanding and being able to take more disrespect. On top of that you got women calling for the death of black guys, the diverster movement, etc. Black men are tired and standing up for themselves.
I believe that this is extremely simple. Many American “black” woman in regards to relationships with men would rather be right than happy. I also believe that we as married men are to love our women unconditionally and woman are to respect their husbands regardless of if she feels like it, he didn’t earn it or not. Demonstrate respect is the key. Woman were never called to love their husbands and husbands were never called to respect their woman…
Shout out to The BLACK MANOSPHERE that initiated these conversations so many years ago - Founded by the "3 Kings"; Oshay Duke Jackson, The Angryman, and Mumia "Obsidian" Ali! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Listen to them, the originators, and they'll teach you a WHOLE lot more!
As a black man I enjoy being invisible to women. To the people who can see me they know what they got and value it. I value my peace over female attention. Nothing of value has been lost to me.
And vice versa
@@juliatripp2010 I respect it.
BARS
Amen to that brother
Brother, in my humble opinion, if in fact you are invisible to women, something just ain’t right as Keith Sweet would say. I’ve never heard a man with testosterone and a competitive attitude ever say anything like that. I absolutely adore my beautiful wife yet can’t help but smile when I notice women checking me out. Why would I not be flattered? I’m confused 🧐 We all compete at everything in life. As men we are ranked accordingly regardless of if you want to be or not. If you are not growing or improving physically, mentally, financially socially ect, then you are going backwards. Why would any woman want to be with a man and feel safe if all he wants to be is invisible. Invisible people get devoured first because they are already nonexistent so who cares. You must have been in somebody’s high school band or checkers club. No offense intended.
I never feel invisible as a black man. However, as a high achieving, high earning, educated BM, I feel underestimated by many especially BW. The bigotry of low expectations is a real thing.
Very real and also very sad.
True, especially BW in the US. African women usually don't think that way
I've been at peace with BW since I've been here in Kenya. The level of respect is something I never got from the ABW.
Yep, I'm a pharmacist and my girlfriend even told me that she assumed that I was actually a technician simply claiming to be a pharmacist early on.
The relationship is good overall, but she probably wouldn't have doubted me if I was white. Lol
@@nnekaonyilofor - @ContrarianExpatriate - GenX, mid 50s, BM. I agree with you. Our social & business peer groups, m3n & wom3n, are the same. At my stage of life, if any wom@n is problematic, has an negative attitude, h3r mindset is off e.g. underestimating me, sh3 doesn't or can't control h3r mouth, etc, I pass h3r by & don't engage at all.
They choose Pookie and Rayray
1. No loss if he goes
2. Feel like they can change him
3. Control him financially
4. Love toxicity
5. Don't know what a peaceful relationship is.
As a BM once you get to a certain age, invisibility is a GOOD thing. Especially when you have your stuff together.
Blk women talking about they won't submit if a man can't pay all their bills but will submit when they have sex! Ain't your womb and mouth more valuable?
As a black man in this society you are not a person, you're a tool. If you cannot be used to uplift, benefit or entertain you have no value as a human being. Your thoughts, your feelings the experience of life you can share are meaningless because no cares. In fact as a black man when you express those things you are lambasted and degraded for it. As a black man if you don't have a good family which many of us don't all you have is you. You are the only person you can count on.
I can agree with his sentiment. I learned work actually made me feel more complete than dealing with relationships.
It's something Dr T Johnson, talks about frequently if you don't fit in to one of the above slots , you don't exist as a black man. If you watch black men who don't struggle with ladies, fit into one of the above slots.We all can do that.
A lot of truth here. Especially the part about expressing your feelings.
That applies to men of all races in the west. We can't get enough of women: "We need more women in STEM! We need more women on boards of directors!", etc etc. Men are the punching bag to women's triumph. It is an ugly thing to live through.
You almost have it figured out.
You have to bare in mind? How well you are treated is proportional to the value people see you bring.
Think of cells, what is a cells function? To obtain more calories for less energy.
This is what all life does.
Don't be sad, don't think of yourself as a tool. Everybody wants something and to be valued.
I believe women date Pookies because that's who they are themselves.
I think its because pookies have nothing and will live off the woman. When that happens, she can maintain her control while claiming she is not single.
A man with his sister together is never gonna tolerate a masculine woman. Such men expect women to be submissive to him.
BW are the most masculine women on the planet and always ready to fight.
Yeah lol 😂 pookisha will choose pookie all the time .
Don't listen 2 what blk women say, watch what they do!
Here's a hard truth though. And a lot of young black men need to understand this. Before thinking about marriage you need to make sure that you are prepared to take care of a wife and a family and be the leader of your household. I generally try to tell young men the best time for them to get married is probably in their early thirties. This gives them enough time to grow up and learn to be self-sufficient as a man and to build a good starting point for their future family.
That’s common sense
@@MarcusPark-rb8fl dude Common Sense isn't common you ought to know that.
Meanwhile,… white women are getting married (in college)
(To wealthy men), or (men who they will build with)??
My husband and his paternal cousins all married in their mid to late twenties. I think men who grow up with fathers are better equipped to be husbands at younger ages. We have all built strong families and been able to achieve financial success while married.
I didn't date much in my twenties, career took center stage. Becoming a professional didn't really leave time for dating are being "social". It's a hard life but dating was just not conducive to achieving goals......"Unless" you have a partner that is at the same point in their lives. If a sister is building and establishing herself the same as you. Then you both realize that it is priority (career) first, friendship 2nd. I say that because without some form of release from work stress you WILL burnout or fall prey to loneliness. Blackmen/women who aren't grounded (past the chasing of relationships or sex) will always fall into the pattern of complacency. They look at friends who are married or friends who have kids and feel as though life is passing them by which is not the case. You shouldn't be having kids if you don't have the family type environment to raise kids in union. Gotta have a house/home and functioning roles to seriously be in a relationship which is the same as marriage if you really mature adults. In closing, I say black men and women have to guard their sexual energy. It's real important because once you fall into that window of having sex to cope with life (work stress) the dopamine that's involved with the act of intercourse will consume most normal people. I want some P, or I need some D....you'll never reach your goals once you give in. Btw, the absence of accountability is a tell tale sign that the person U're with male/ female is just along for the ride. My sister be bumping her gums about non black men don't care about accountability and I constantly stress to her that's because 1 or 2 things, you don't behave the same way U behave when you deal with black men you become submissive or that non black man doesn't plan of having a future relationship with you outside of hooking up and occasionally hanging out...they not trying to wife you so accountability doesn't matter.
Once you learn about Narcissistic traits, trauma bonding, how people become narcissists , you would understand all this dysfunctional behavior in our community. It's really deep stuff.
This comment should be pinned.
I mean not a lot of people are actually narcissists in the population, I’ve seen more people that are just more self absorbed and selfish today tho and not to sound like a broken record but social media is a big reason to that and why dating is kinda bad rn, people’s attention spans are so short rn and tend to look for the grass being greener on the other side as soon as a “bump” comes along instead of communicating with eachother
Yall have worn that word out.
@@UzitheSaintyes Alot of people are narcissist I don't know who your around but this goes for men and women
@@Pineapples-Mango_Smoothie no there aren’t 😂 people just use the “Narcissist“ too freely, when in reality it’s a personality disorder that is rare in the population that has to be diagnosed, and with the off chance u bring up those that go undiagnosed, even then the percentage isn’t a lot (covert narcissists).
Yes people there are people with problematic behaviors that get shown in relationships but not every person who is selfish, or etc is a narcissist, one trait from it doesn’t equal to someone being an actual narcissist, globally it’s only 1% that are actually with that personality disorder.
And im gonna be honest I usually hear it being thrown around by women after break ups rather than the opposite when in reality they might have been with someone who wasn’t ready for a relationship or emotionally immature
We don't talk sis, we take action. Those of us who refuse to play the role BW assigned to us, have given up on BW a long time ago without making a fuss about it. It started in the late 90''es, you are just catching up because a lot of younger BM, are following suit, but they are dating out or leaving the US all together.
Exactly I’ve been traveling abroad for a while now and it’s been the best thing ever
Yes
The product they’re selling is overpriced. Men can get what she’s offering much cheaper in the marketplace with many options to men. There is a plethora of valuable decent women worldwide from which to choose.
You lie! There are no Pleathora of Valuable decent women. You need to stop trying to be a snake oil sales man and tell men the truth. Men need to settle down with a decent good woman. STOP assuming that good women are plenty around
I can't speak for all African women, but they still a level of appreciation and respect
Women are not a product. Love is not product. It’s about connection and only those who are connected to themselves know that. For everyone else it’s a commodity because they have usually sold themselves (soul, values, morals, etc) somehow.
Cheaper? When was quality cheap? Additionally, when did people become currency?
@@slaybaenayyou can take offense to what he is saying if you want but it goes into what he is saying.
Alot of women seem to complain about not being courted anymore, but why would a man court a woman when she has already given up her body to someone that didnt have to put in the effort. There is a dating marketplace and it has cheapened a lot of things. Tinder and hook up culture has commodified humans and the mass acceptance of it has contributed to the problem with relationships today.
I can totally concur with the "invisible black man" theory, I've always noticed that if a black man isn't something special for example a musician, a current or former drug dealer, athlete or any type of high earner then no one is really interested in him or his story. There's no real love for the working class hero, no one writes songs about the 9-5 lifestyle in the "community" that's why most dudes tend to exaggerated or embellish their truth when talking about themselves
It's not even that a lot of guys who are in "nerdy" professions like Tech or Engineering are invisible to these women until they become older with a few kids in tow.
Fellas, as times get tougher in this economy you have to watch out for the chameleon that will pretend to like men just for help....
We learning ,I strongly agree that chameleon word is real
Big fact
Exactly.
They cant fake for long you can tell by her actions
You’ll see right through them
Black men will go outside the USA to find relationships, marriage, and children, and traditional family life like did. I prefer black women. After my divorce, I dated only American black women but gravitated to Jamacian women. I'm married again to a Jamacian and its good. I was able to do this as an older man with adult children. Much more difficult for younger men today.
As much as I talk crap, about blk 👩🏾 wmn who'm I happen to share a culture and a certain level of traumatic stress that has been encoded in our shared DNA. I'm not going to fly halfway across the world to find a 👩🏽🦰Marisal, 👩🏻 Mai Ling, or 👩🏼Ulga who barely speaks English, needs a 90 day visa to visit this country, and will be gone like a fart 💨🤢 in the wind before the ink on her ✍️🏻 green card is dry.
You must like being told what to do. Men with healthy testosterone don’t entertain that culture
My brother makes 110k a year. He married a Moroccan woman. Another close friend is a roofer makes around 70k he went to Kenya to find a wife. My brother’s wife is helping me to find a Moroccan wife. I was married 2 times to black American Muslim women.
@charlesirby1643 you wish to marry a third time? Were you faultless in the divorces? Not trying to be smart or funny, but you think you will be successful this time because of the woman? I genuinely want to understand your thought process... if you choose to share.
@@Tanniab09 of course I believe in marriage. I’m pro marriage. I don’t believe in I the concept of dating. As far the the first marriage it lasted 12 years. She wanted to walk away from the marriage. I don’t think anyone is completely faultless but she didn’t have a legitimate reason to want out. The second marriage that’s completely my fault. I chose wrong. Take into consideration Muslims are 1% of the population in the United States. I prefer to find a black Muslim wife which less than 1%. The best option is to explore my option abroad as most of my friends did. I have friends with Muslim wives from Kenya, Gambia, Ethiopia and Morocco.
I often ask the question, does a culture that fails to produce marriageable people deserve to exist. BM and BW are free to look elsewhere for mates, no need to argue or bargain with each other. It’s over and we should be ok with it. Decent people will go to other groups to find spouses.
#PASSPORTBROS #SYSBM This is all I have to say. 🛫🛂
And that is all
Mic drop!.. Yes it's over it's been over!.. BM know this and are dating out in droves
@@ghostdog2084, why would a BM leave the country? There are women of different races in America.
@@aprilclover2429Because the western woman mindset is the problem not just race
Unless a woman is your wife, you shouldn't pay anything for her.
Don't co-habit with anyone. Therefore, don't share jack squat.
You can do a better job cooking and buying your food, ironing your clothes, cleaning your place, etc...
A ring or peirce of paper does not constitute marriage as European culture would have so many black people believe, which was used to enslave and control relationships, also a in truth a marriage license is a license of legal prostitution. A true marriage is a covenant between the man and the woman and TMH. Furthermore every thing is geared towards the woman in European cultured societies. And the man in most cases loses everything.
Being a man is the MOST competitive sport that exist we know its hard out here unspoken.
Thanks for attending the livestream last night!
Wow😂😂
I’d politely argue and say it’s just as competitive to be a woman in todays world. If you are a black woman who wants to be with a black man it’s even more competitive.
The fact is, there aren’t a lot of bruthas who are not only physically attractive, but mentally sound, emotionally stable, spiritually enlightened, and have the resources and education to provide fully for his wife and children.
There are more white men in this position than black men due to various advantages, but non the less it’s possible for black men to excel.
If a black women possesses these qualities and characteristics that I mentioned above and she dates out, she has the advantage, but if she’s stays in the community then it’s very difficult.
@@Divinia93What do them people have that they didn't steal from us? Talking about advantages...go chill with them then😂🤦🏾♂️
@@Divinia93now you see? It’s always a competition with these women smh. We are on the same team BW!! We both have it hard. It’s just to much vitriol in their hearts. This is why I stay away from BW and keep it strictly platonic.
You're right about the invisibility. A lot of guys are suffering from that right now. The way out is by increasing their own sex appeal to women, and/or putting themselves in an environment where they are appreciated and liked
Or more straightforwardly, by going to a country where the women will value them and finding a wife there.
@markaurelius61 hey I'm all about traveling to different countries. But before they even go to a different country, sometimes they just have to go to a different town or state. Vibes can change just a couple of towns away
@@ellisjackson3355 This is what I always told my kids. Go 5 miles in any direction and you are brand new to the people there - take advantage of it...
@@ellisjackson3355 Yes, I agree. Going abroad to marry will only ever be available to s small number of men
@@markaurelius61 going abroad is available to anyone who wants to spend 110 - 120 bucks for a passport. The point I'm making is you may not need to go to another country just yet
I went to my sons open house for his 4th grade school yr. The female teacher introduced herself to his mom then proceeded to greet my son but never looked over to greet me, I had to assert my greeting
I believe you
Nneka, I watch your videos because the foundation of them is COMMON SENSE. Hopefully you are not only "preaching to the choir". Our relationships' goal should be a permanent bond/connection/marriage. For the sake of our future ,more than anything, permanence is needed on the family front. Imagine constructing a home on a temporary foundation, similar to our temporary hookup mentality in relationships.
Black men have always struggled with their place in society. This is nothing new. Black men need to accept the fact that society struggles for them are real and their manhood will always be challenged. Black men and women need to lean on each other to get through what we call life!
But should it be challenged by our own women…constantly? Day after day after day?
@@richmondwottersExactly
Black men been having targets on our back shih ain’t new 😂 but the behavior of our women has gotten worse 😂
I am a black engineer via both education and trade.
I can tell you this, in meetings, 90%+ of the time I am The only minority there.
And I can truthfully say that my words are not as valued as white women and white men
Iam an IT cloud support engineer…. Exact same thing lol
Complaining, complaining, complaining...
@@krislegendsHmm I didn't know truth was seen as complaining 🤔
@@tatheblkpaladin now, how can we prove this "truth"?
@@krislegends First are you white or blk?
BGS IBMOR (one of Kevin Samuel's mentors) has covered this topic for almost a decade.
I can't speak for non-ADOS Black male/female relationship dynamics, but ADOS men and women being together was never a natural pairing. Read Kenneth Clark's "Dark Ghetto" which served as partial inspiration for the Moynihan Report. The ADOS woman was never brought over to America to be a wife to ADOS men or a mother to her children (particularly her sons). She was brought over here to be a concubine to White men and be a broodmare. There's a reason why as soon as the govt provided welfare ADOS women were the only demographic of women to get rid of their men upon receiving it. There's a reason why ADOS women have 1.2 million more biracial babies than ADOS men. Us being together was always only for survival.
While it might be true that ADOS women love their men and boys, the data speaks for itself. And the data would suggest that ADOS women's potential love for ADOS men/boys is not stronger than her programming.
In a nutshell, #BGSwasRight.
#SYSBM
Thank you those were great points but font forget the ADOS thrived when we were left on our own to Survive because the ADOS built many black wall streets around America (thriving communities) but the other society used the government to tear the ADOS communities apart whether it be bombing cities black Wall Street, or burning them down our side of town. Eminent Domain for the destruction of or communities for freeways and highways. Putting some of our towns underwater. America has and continues to destroy the ADOS community. Send us to these ghettos after integration.
Then bringing over immigrants to place over the community who look familiar to us but don’t understand our struggle so that’s another divide tactic. The AFRICAN/CARIBBEAN cousins who see our position and blame us for our position in life when we have a system that promotes the destruction of us.
Where our A/C cousins don’t like themselves or trust black people because they came from Black ran nations that were rampant with problems. So they have faith in the Wyt Savior not realizing that the same Wyt corrupted their nation and robbed them of they’re riches . Haiti 🇭🇹 just got done paying off it’s debt to the French government from a war conflict from over 200 yrs ago.
Imagine if Haiti 🇭🇹 had all its money from its resources since 1804 they would be much better off but our African/Caribbean cousins aren’t ready for that convo as well as the feminist conversation that place women over men
I totally disagree with this but it’s tough to disprove when plenty of signs point towards it. I personally think blacks did have a time period in which things worked but being the nature of the situation within this country. Outside factors and our own personal choices has created this environment. I think our issue has more to do with “game” culture than slavery. Once we go down the because of slavery path then many other points can be based off of that. I’m not playing that game.
To be fair most groups have couples who are together out of necessity. Think the European immigrants coming in dirt poor through Ellis Island. Same for more recent immigrants from Asia, Africa, and Latin America.
No matter the reason Black men and women were brought over. The shared experience created a shared culture. It is just as natural for the ADOS Black man and woman to couple as it is for any other man and woman who share a culture.
@@joejett5084 There's a few contradictions in your comment. ADOS people, our culture, our psychology, etc. didn't just fall out of the sky. Chattel Slavery, Black Codes, Convict Leasing, Reconstruction, Sharecropping, Jim Crow, Redling etc. weren't consequence-free events that literally created the nation but somehow managed to not yield intergenerational reverberations.
We have a very real problem quieting our egos and accepting the truth of the matter.
In the words of Keving Samuels, "BGS [was] right."
ruclips.net/p/PLX66YPHhRmvUe3OoyLKPu8HXXa6INP7dN&si=I90OxGf1CLZ2dWjZ
@@bluewave3417 In what manner did these other groups come to America? Were they ultimately absorbed into either Whiteness or made into a buffer class? It's called "historical context". Prior to early 1800s, before the importation of slaves became illegal, Black female slaves weren't brought over to the US in the same numbers as Black males. And when they started to be brought over here in greater numbers, it wasn't to be wives. The pairings between ADOS men and women after Emancipation in 1865 was out of survival.
The studies have all been done. We have the data. At this point, it's just an issue of cognitive dissonance.
Nobody on average is making six figures. No group. As for accountability with Pookie, most men would disagree. Our experience as men is that many women want men that they can control and men who have their stuff together are not dependent on a woman. The Pookie in your bed depends on you like a child in some ways. Though I do think that women like men with a backbone.
No one should care why women like pookies, it’s their life to ruin, and society needs to be ok with letting those women suffer the consequences of their choices without an ounce of sympathy or compassion. Men should learn from a very young age to only deal with women smart enough to avoid what black culture currently teaches.
Straight up
There was a study done that studied the difference between how men view average or unattractive women and how women viewed average or unattractive men. The study determined that men's brains registered unattractive women with disgust. And it determined that women's brains didn't even register men that they didn't find attractive. It begged the question of; which is worse? To be invisible, or to be seen in a disgusting light?
Very profound question!
Personally I believe being viewed with disgust is worse. Something you view as disgusting you will dehumanize and try to destroy. Being invisible you get left alone.
The "Child" analogy has me shaking my head as there is an ocean of truth in in. But even in scripture, when I was a child, I thought like a child. Now that I am a man/adult, I must think like a man/adult.
My take is there are a core group of women who are still thinking like a child.
Only times I have felt close to invisible have been when I was around black women. Never had that kind of feeling around non-black women tbh.
Yeah because you're nothing more than a jumpoff fetish to them
Do you really think culturally that they respect you And other blacks?
Yup
Dawg I'm so tired of it. I stay getting stalked up n down by other races
Are you a nerd, because us nerds are not valued by the black community.
Bro I’m 6’3 220 and BW will try their hardest to make you feel small. I had a 5’2 woman call me “lil daddy”. I’m convinced they have an inferiority complex when it comes to men they can’t control. When they see you with women of other races it fuels their feelings of inadequacy because most BW envy and emulate women of other races. It’s real deep bro
Being invisible and insignificant to modern black women is not a bad thing for us. Some of us actually would prefer that they see right through us.
Because life is short, and often times it's just a waste of our precious time and effort. And I like to learn from others mistakes. Just sit back and watch all the drama.
Very deep!
My son thanked me for the way I raised him, he’s seen many of his friends end up with loser women.
It’s like the devil not seeing you. When they don’t see you, You have been spared a life of pain and misery
I bet they were all products of single BW
Good point. All attention isn't good attention
The first man makes a good point! Let me break it down: Prioritize a man’s positive character traits instead of how he makes you feel ladies! Guys can talk that talk but can they walk the walk! Ladies go for the slick guys but but are they guys who can give you what you want in the long term? Ladies if not, you chose these guys! Take some accountability for your actions!
I think another content creator pointed out a profound point. Black women oftentimes, because of shame, guilt, and other traumatic experiences, are very intimidated by masculine, orderly, intelligent, protecting, and providing men. The "taming"or accountability aspect that comes from men like this is slightly different because we won't fight with you. We'll just leave.
I'd like to see you do a video with a mental health professional L.C.M.H.C. (Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor) or L.C.M.H.T. (Licensed Clinical Mental Health therapist) To address in-depth mental health dynamics that get in the way of relationships such as Dystamia or BDP or Narcissistic disorder, etc. I see a lot of these dynamics with women mostly, but I'm sure they play apart with men.
I personally watch your videos because it's good to see how normal black women think when they are being honest
This is sad and it's all by design, they dont want black men and black women together. They fear that so they set up all of these traps to keep us feuding with each other. And yeah i always felt invincible but when im with a woman outside my race all the sudden i get noticed lol smh
Thats a lie! Black people just don't like each other bottom line. I say black men move forward and get their passports
Hypergamy isn't just about money. A chick simply has to see a guy as being "better than" in some way. Secondly, hypergamy is a natural thing, and it's difficult to fight against nature, especially when it's a part of their nature that a person that they are not acknowledging.
This is VERY true. I’m a college grad, small business owner from a two-parent household, stable family. I’ve had stretches where I’ve attracted ratchet Baby mommas just off section 8 with multiple Baby daddies. You don’t always attract what you are. But I realized MOST BW strive to date above their level - the “better than” concept you allude to. And not saying education or stability makes me Better* than some of these women. But most are punching above their weight, so to speak, by design.
If we agree to this, then are we also agreeing that monogamy in men isn't natural? Testosterone causes most men to want multiple partners, yet we're constantly told we should settle for one for the better of the community. Now, I'm being told that women can't instinctively ignore their biological desire for hypergamy, and we should just accept it. Nah, if hypergamy is accepted, non monogamy should be accepted.
@@ahmorganI believe that not being monogamous in marriage leads to many of the problems we have. I believe that the problems we have in relationships is due to both men and women having more than one sexual partne. You might not agree with me, but honestly all the baggage that men and women bring to relationships come from multiple sexual partners. And people don't realize.
@@ahmorgan one thing has nothing to do with the other. But technically, monogamy in humans in general is unnatural. It's a learned behavior that every generation of humans struggle with in one form or another.
@@Tanniab09 most of the problems we have in marriage are linked to not being honest/lack of communication, marrying for the wrong reasons, and trying to have the type of marriage we are taught we are supposed to have instead of creating the type of marriage that works for us.
Your warm spirit keeps me coming back. Keep up the good work.
I just came across this channel and it is a blessing. The facts you present are enlightening. Thank you so much. Peace always.
Nneka, I genuinely appreciate the insights you share in your videos. My perspective on why some Black women are attracted to men often referred to as "Pookie and Ray Ray" differs from the common view. I perceive it as Black women engaging with these men in a manner that can be likened to a historical dynamic between slave masters and slaves. Occasionally, the slave master may need to quell a rebellion, but they often believe they can control the insurrection. Similarly, Black women who involve themselves with "Pookie and Ray Ray" may do so with a specific purpose in mind, such as seeking potential sperm donors. I say this without reservation: all individuals, regardless of gender, are calculative in their actions, and Black women are no exception. Consequently, any accountability these women may hold "Pookie and Ray Ray" to is usually short-lived, as their primary goal, in many cases, is to have a child, after which they may part ways with these men.
This parallel extends to the historical relationship between slave masters and slaves, as they would dispose of a slave once they had extracted all they needed. In essence, the Black woman and the slave master, while different in many ways, exhibit similar behavior patterns. This comparison is not based on skin color but rather on the dynamics of power and control. A closer observation of their interactions with Black men reveals a shared tendency to dislike and undermine an empowered Black man. Both the Black woman and the historical slave master tend to resist being in a position where an empowered Black man asserts his strength.
Boom this is it.!!!
I am going to let this sink in. Thank you!
@@nnekaonyilofor You’re welcome.
@@Haitian_Vagabond Thank you.
Great talk! My opinion is: Black people could benefit from taking a break from intimate, romantic relationships for 1 generation for the purpose of doing deep work (being sincerely intentional about getting to know self). Great examples include therapy (sometimes trying a few counselors until the right fit is achieved). Other examples are meditation practice, attuning with nature, reading, education, giving back and volunteer work, healing absentee father/mother wounds, inner child work, learning how to set/maintain HEALTHY boundaries, learning about HEALTHY family structure, prioritizing self reliance/love above codependence and manipulation upon and of others.
This is the best comment.
Every time I meet a black person 9 times out of 10 they project their unhealed traumas. Black Men are too eager to have sx way too soon. Degrading themselves to an object that can be easily discarded.
Black women are too defensive.
Both need to heal from generational curses and start valuing themselves.
Instead of running away unhealed to others.
I mean yes, but numbers are voting power. Unless we put that time also into uplifting and educating the less fortunate children of the community we would find ourselves in an even more powerless position at the end of that generation that failed to reproduce.
They dont want husbands, they want power.
There's so much trauma underneath and it gets passed from genreration to generation. Consider these statistics: a) 35% of Black women experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime, b) 40-60% of Black women report being subjected to coercive sexual contact by age 18, c) 1 in 5 Black women are survivors of rape, and d) 38% of Black women experienced sexual violence other than rape during their lifetime. Now think about the mothers of these women. Their grandmothers. The trauma is in our DNA.
Women want safety and security and when they've experienced trauma, their need for control can go into overdrive: this can look like being too controlling or being with someone who is very controlling. Then, we turn it all on each other. It's sad. The woman you spoke with sounds like she thinks money is the only thing that can make her feel safe. And if you're premise about accountability is correct, I would say it's because of the sense of security that can come from having firm guidance.
I haven't even begun to talk about the trauma Black boys and men experience. The book Heavy by Kiese Laymon was too much for me to even finish at first, but it paints a really powerful picture of how Black boys and men are vicitimized too.
You stated nothing but facts 🧏🏿♀️💯
Black men live in the system but it's more acceptable for him to be mistreated and abused, there's a tic toc group that says abort baby boys and the funny thing is that's what the Bible said the plan of a devil is to kill the boys
People need to consider this.
The problem with those sexual violations at a young age is mostly due to not having the father in the home! As long as not having the father in the home is not valued and respected, these problems will continue, and get worse. Also, boys are being sexually violated too, but this is not discussed due to the devaluation of men and boys.
This is why I’m so sick of Black people acting like women are supposed to submit to men. I never hear my White friends talking about women submitting. Why should anyone submit unless they are into S & M?
Biggest issue In our community
I was married to a sorority hyena for 19 years. It was horrible.., should have bounces a long time ago. Being asked for a divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I am dating a conservative sista , who isn’t on social media, doesn’t require other men for attention and validation, isn’t going on girls trips, hanging out at bars with her single friends. We attend church every Sunday, do things out with other happy couple. We are considerate and respectful to each other, she isn’t stingy with the loving either. I finally have peace with a feminine, fit, and friendly sista. I am now considering putting a ring on her finger. There are good women out here, but they aren’t wearing 304 outfits, fake everything, and don’t have a high body count. Be choosy fellas, and change your mindset. Be on a mission to better yourself, stay busy , get in the gym, and vett them properly. Get your passport and experience something different.
Big factz
What Exactly Does Your "Conservative Sista" And Her Cohorts "Conserve"? Perhaps You May Know, Because None Of The "Black Conservatives" That I Pose This Question To Have Had An Answer🤷🏿♂️.
@@55cleondo you understand what a conservative ideology is?
With All that being said, the Minute you do put a ring on her finger, all that is going to change.
I wish you and your lady a long fruitful life together salute!
Thank you for your balanced content. It is refreshing. I see a pattern among many of our women that makes them believe that all they have to is be pretty and nothing more. This entitled behavior has caused me many problems in 18 years of marriage. My role as a traditional man and the expectation of me is clear and without debate. But the lines get blurry when we bring up what a woman’s duty is to her husband. The responsibility has been compared to being a maid, and a slave, and I am suffering. The need to control and be right is extreme. The emotional, mental and psychological trauma is weighty and I realize I am not alone. Thank you for addressing this pandemic head on. Sincerely.
If you’re going through that man, try to get some kind of counseling if you want to keep the relationship alive. And make sure YOU choose the therapist so you don’t get ambushed by some feminist therapist who low key hates men and will gaslight you.
Both sides need quality therapy. I think its unfair to assume feminists low key hate men.
just dump her and get your passport. The community is dead and gone BW killed it. #passportbros #sysbm
@ghostdog2084 Youre one of thise sad and defeated BM or worse, you're white, inserting yourself in these conversations to sow division. BM are easy prey for corrupt thinking or commentary like yours. This is part of the yte mans plans which you are likely an incel whether yte or blk
@@juliatripp2010Feminists, particularly black feminists have a problem with black male leadership. They mostly want to be in charge of the relationship/ marriage, and the man finances the relationship, which is ridiculous!
I've been a traditional man in both of my marriages, yet BW have problems being a traditional wife. They say one thing and do another. Too many chameleons out there!
4:45 The average man in general in america makes less than 60k a year
❤️ what you said about Pookie and ray Ray's is so true..
Also
The majority of men who are "responsible" like me 😊 or value accountability, don't understand that attraction is NOT a choice.
Some of them DO, and you will never hear those ones complaining about wemens behavior cuz they understand how they think.
A WOMAN CANNOT CONTROL HER ATTRACTION FOR A MAN. 👈🏽 And this is what is so challenging for men that spent ALL their life in other areas like money and spent zero time understanding the reason why you can't keep a woman on the basis of being a billionaire alone.
You can't look at wemen like a human , NO... You have to look at them like they are a subject in a classroom.
Even if the pookies and rays look dirty and unkempt to the rest of us, with tattoos that make their body look like a vision board,
The ladies are attracted to the IDEA that if "if I don't act right, if I don't respect this guy, there is a very good chance I will be punished severely for it"...
I could go on, but they loose respect for a man who has LITTLE boundaries.
It's like since you can Afford to let the female get away with so much , that freedom is the very thing that chips away at the respect they have for you.
It's PHUCKED up but thats the typical female, ESPECIALLY the educated ones, they fall the fastest because they POSESS the attention spans to listen to the WHOLE BS of pookie or ray ray.
You can either use such information to have an unfair advantage OR continue to complain . I've seen a dude change a woman's WHOLE value system with this understanding...
These wemen are not in control of their feelings bro.
Success is built on keeping what you love most down .
You know whats crazy. I never feel invisible to BW I feel their disdain for me, lol. I'll be sungazing outside early in the morning in front of my apartment complex in a mixed area in LA and 2 out of 6 will smile and say hi, but the other 4??? My goodness its like an awful energy if they make eye contact. Some avoid eye contact at all cost. Its like a natural hate. Yeah they could be divestors but I divest sometimes and I've still always looked at sistas with love or community especially in non black environments.
I don't feel disdain everywhere from them but just saying even out and about casually I feel that usually. I'm actually more likely to put them in invisibility mode if I can sense the disdain early on.
Disdain is definitely the correct term and I’ve felt the same daily doing basic things out and about. You innocently catch eyes with a BW or cross paths. Maybe 1 in 8 will say Good morning? Smile? Acknowledge me in passing. Overwhelming majority lower the heads, avert their eyes, frown up like they’re expecting me to holla like Pookie or some even snarl. 😂😂😂 it’s complete projection of insecurity and bad experiences so I try not to take it personally. But a white or Latina will present waaaaay more friendly without even flirting. It’s honestly sad that SO many BW carry such negative energy day to day. Definitely not the natural order.
I live in an upscale White area in Cali. I never know how a BW or BM will react to me. Everyone doesn't react the same. But, I can’t count on a BM or BW being cordial here by the Bay.
I don't make eye contact or speak to black men because the city/Dallas I currently reside in alot of the black men have a disdain for black women especially darkskinned black women. I will never forget I was out one nite and I was joking around with this black guy and he got an whole attitude with me. After that I was done with black men as far as trying to talk and just enjoy their company. I give them the same energy they give me. If they don't speak nor talk I don't either. It is truly sad because I never use to be like that.
@@thetruesoulofanaquarius9302 does this men you’ll make eye contact or speak casually to Men of other races? And, in your example you spoke of One* bad encounter with a BM while WE actually had Several with Enough BW to draw the same conclusions.
@@seensay2132to be honest I just feel more comfortable nowdays talking and speaking to non black men before I do black men. Black men nowadays have such a nasty attiude, and dark energy about them especially when it come to black women.I just try to stay out yall way/mind my business. I highly doubt you had several encounters like that with black women. Black women always have been thirsty, pick mes and chase after black men.
Another thing I remember working as an educator for 17 years. When I worked in a school that the staff was predominantly non black..
The men had no problems socially with others.
But I noticed certain sistas complained about getting the cold shoulder or non black men and women avoiding them.
One sista in particular was telling me that I already know why..I didn't say it's your attitude. I am work so I learn to not let my emotions get the best of me so I just smile..but her attorney is definitely a turn off. An if I didn't have to work with her I wouldnt sought her out socially.
But I just said to her. Huh I never had that problem.
I wanted her to come to conclusion as to why..to add insult to injury.
Every time a Hispanic, white or Asia CO worker came around me, they always spoke to me and interacted with Me in front of her..
I remember two sistas got together saying they had the same experience....I said huh me and misses so and so don't have that experience.
This one tall pretty black lady who was always happy and positive energy. Everyone spoke to her.
An it was evident that she didn't have issues with interactions.
But I made a point to let them see it was only them singled out. Because frankly if it was predominantly black staff I wouldn't mess with them either..
How they talk is condescending and arrogant and stern..when they simply a colleague. It's like they trying to measure their dxxxc size and they are women.
I'm not saying that's most sistas who have that issue.
But people went out of their way to personally avoid atleast 3 of them.
But that's another perception sistas give other races...that cause the invisibility
Yesss, I have started noticing that when I’m out in mixed crowds or even a predominantly white location, I still draw attention from non black people. Both men & women because I’m overall a friendly person & I make eye contact/small talk with people. If there’s other bw around they may get that side eyed stare or completely ignored. I concluded a vast majority of bw just don’t have that cultural diversity, intrapersonal communication, and self esteem to acquire relationships outside the black community. They won’t admit this, but I do believe making mockery of men advances, having a stuck up mean girls persona, teaming up as the only black women or ignoring eye contact will not draw anybody’s attention. It’s defense mechanisms for unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. Yes included past traumas in our community. But we must move past this. Sorry for the paragraph, just my thoughts on that comment.
@@desdior1207 i enjoyed your comment, i dont think that we can blame past traumas on why certain sistas are rude, mean, disrespectful or idiotic.
They get away with that crap with 85% of heterosexual married black men because most brothas just learn to tolerate it out race loyalty. The other 15% just decide to marry outside of their race. Most brothers myself included refuse to marry because of that nasty attitude and ghetto bravado. We just see them as Box or wet wet. An when that sassy mouth come out, invite her to the door and say its been fun, you have a good evening. I will say i have seen sistas peer pressure other sistas into being mean and evil like them. Its usually not outside sources. Its usually their peers, who use manipulation, shunning, isolation, teasing, insults, shaming and guilt to make other sistas feel bad for being that way. They will deem being articulate, Bougie, Nice and Kind and sweet as something bad. Also lets just say anyone over the age 21 who is mean girl, at a certain point is just their choice. You choose to be that way. This older women i been seeing for over a decade, She has younger neighbors, She knows for a fact the lady upstairs who is like 21 has her baby daddy/boyfriend living with her an that dude is mentally off kilt. he be cussing himself out walking around outside. weird. Any way, they be upstairs fighting, moving furniturn around an bumping on the floor, an her mouth is always yelling an cussing at him every single day. You would think they would get of tired of that every day for entire year. But nope its a choice. She had another neighbor who was the same way, an she was saying its the men her life. i kept saying Nope its her. Because once her an that dude broke up she got a new man, an it was the same exact scenario like she didnt miss a beat, arguing an cussing him out an them going back and forth.
These women are simply toxic, an they like being that way. Its not past truama. its not racism, segregation or slavery as an excuse. They just arent good people and other races of people arent so tolerant of such ignorance. i remember there was this black lady, who was very nice and sweet, she was always happy, an spoke to everyone, An she was just easy to talk too, i remember one co-worker was saying when the SSD Para walks in the room they never speak to her, infact there was an incident when i was speaking to her, an she said something to me off putting i guess to put me in my place or what ever, so i was still cordial with her because i work with her i but i no longer went out of my way to be friendly to her or speak to her if i didnt have too, she didnt even notice the change. But the other ladies didnt speak to her all. Ambigous sistas have this need to belittle, emasculate, or talk condscending to people. As to one up them. All it does it turn people off to them an we dont want to mess with them. i remember the same lady saying the asian and hispanic and wyte ladies at job didnt speak to her, i make it point to show her in her room off those ladies having whole conversations with me and not her. She said its beause your a black man, then i mentioned the other two sistas who everyone spoke one too, one was a counselor, and the other was 3rd grade teacher like her. I said look how all the ladies speak to them in the breakroom, an i asked what makes them different because they black women to. I didnt want to come out an tell her at work why no one wants to talk to her an some of the other ladies. i wanted her to figure it out.
@@desdior1207 im sorry for the long reply. But she stated it was colorism. this was back in the early 2000's before all these youtube channels, she and few other women who were dark skin were all saying its colorism this and that. I said well everyone speaks to misses so and so and so an so, an there darker skin too??? they may be older, but their still dark skin? An the speak to other two teachers who are brown skin and one who is light skin. But not because of her color. One dark skin lady who was a nurse was chiming in, an i said all the other races of women always talk to you. they feel comfortable with you, Everyone seems to get along with you an your the darkest lady here. they love talking your head off, infact everytime your sitting down in the teachers lounge they engage you. AT first she was jumping on the bandwagon then she stop and i can see her eyes shift into thought, an her cognitive dissonace dissipated. But i think she realize what was happening, because i notice a shift in her behavior, she started being rude to the wyte ladies who reached out to speak to her. She was never liked that at first. I think she realize what it was an did it out of racial solidarirty. but she was only rude to the beckies, not other black men.
i would loved to tell them outright what it was, an how they as sistas make us feel. So they could see that even other races of women dont want to talk to them. An now i keep hearing them complain about brothers are afraid to approach them. Brothers dont have confience. Brothers want to exotic women not their own and they dont like they mama, Nah my mama and older women in her generation dont have that nasty vitrollic mouth. Brothers Dont like you and how your personality it was i like to tell them. Being Sassy is not attractive, Being Ghetto is not attractive. i be seeing these podcast say men like mean girls or men like B#%thces this is only going to exhasterbate the issue and make it so more men either go semen retention and celibacy or go outside their race.
For our sistas to be so eduated its baffling how they can see the correlation.
Black women and men have a difficult time getting along because of the following reasons. Black women are often seen as a threat to black men's success, and black men are seen as being disrespectful to black women. This has resulted in a lack of communication and trust between the two genders. Additionally, black women are often seen as being less approachable and harder to build relationships with. This has created a cycle of mistrust and frustration between the two groups, making it difficult to build meaningful and successful relationships. As a result, black women and black men are often unable to work together in harmony. This lack of communication and trust between the two genders is caused by a variety of factors, including historical stereotypes, a lack of access to resources and opportunities, and a general lack of understanding of each other's perspectives.
This has created a toxic environment that makes it difficult to bridge the gaps and build a better relationship between black women and black men. For example, black women often feel as if black men are not supportive of their causes or do not prioritize their issues, while black men may feel that black women are not respectful of their contributions or do not recognize their efforts. This disconnect is further compounded by the historical legacy of racism and sexism, which has created a sense of mistrust and animosity between black women and black men that can be difficult to overcome. However, there are also many examples of successful relationships between black women and black men, such as Michelle Obama and Barack Obama. These couples have demonstrated that it is possible to overcome differences and find mutual respect and understanding. Thus, it is possible to bridge the divide between black women and black men and create a positive future for relationships between the two.
Since the social contract between BM & BW no longer exists, there is no need to try and “fix” what is broken. BW proclaimed their independence and have been moving in that direction for decades. It’s ok. We no longer need each other to survive and are free to find love from whichever group we can. Let it go.
@@hwoodist When you find love, interracial dating and marriage are not wrong. In spite of this, people who are mistreated do not have respect for one another, regardless of what race they choose to date. Respect for one another is essential for any successful relationship, regardless of race. Without respect, it is difficult for any relationship to thrive and grow. Therefore, it is important for people to be mindful of their actions and respect each other regardless of their race.
A lot of issues are caused by the breakdown of family in the black community. Black men and women have lacked proper male role models in many cases with a correspondent trend of strong female leaders (home, school). This imbalance has created negative dynamics in male- female relationships.
Also, I believe we do not really see ourselves in the best light. We constantly allow the worst stereotypes to go unchallenged. Is there bad? Yes. However, there is alot of great things and people who are doing great and have positive relationships. The positives need to be highlighted. Inspite of the many bad relationships there are many strong, positive and great ones.
I'm sooooooo damn glad I'm out of this mess. I'm an older Black Man and single and prefer to stay that way. This is a mess for the younger generation. It just wasn't this complicated when I grew up. If you had a job, took care of yourself and your responsibilities you were sought after.
Impromptu Survey Response here Nneka:
I watch your videos because 1) they make me think and 2) you are very calming to my mind. I find myself responding to your gentle, thoughtful nature and even when you mention names like Kevin Samuels, and even this discussion on BW and the possible subconscious need to be held accountable, or even more submissive to our men, I am not triggered. I used to listen to a particular BW who was very loud (not a negative), but angry and just raging which was too much for me. I had to stop. Her content and style stirred up anger towards BM, something I like to think I let go of long ago. I like your measured, calm and thoughtful approach. I find myself wanting to listen and I think is an important reason for yr channels success.
I think BW and BM are struggling bcz of things not originally of our making. Forces have split our community since arriving on these shores and have been relentless. BW having to be single mothers and shoulder much of the responsibilities of raising children for absentee fathers, I think has led to this class of 'boss'/ bossy/ unsubmissive BW who then develop high expectations for BM, too many who dont and/or cant fit the bill especially emotionally, and thus financially. And who have fled to much less traumatized cultures which retraumatizes us. Then we BW who've figured out how to survive without our men, yet again - are at fault. We start looking for high earners and men who can handle 'all the bills' to prove their so called 'high value' because of a historical deficit, I think. As you know abt me, Ive checked out the struggle dating scene and have gone to an virtual 'neverland' while our people are navigating a real neverland.
But I hope we can figure this out before we have been completely absorbed into other races. There is such beauty, power and raw talent we have. Its being dissolved. I look at African culture and I admit, I am in awe of their self love and their unadulterated black beauty
Well said and Well put
My 70 yr. old advice to young men, black or white who want a family. Focus on your success until your at least in your 40s. Find a young women 15 to 30 years younger who has no children but wants a family.
Have a 80/20 income relationship. You probably won't find this with an American female presently unless youre very lucky.? Try the passport route. This is/was the norm for thousands of years and it worked. Modern contraception has destroyed procreation.
Wish I know this in my early 20s I would have worked on myself way more
I think you should try to build something with a good woman at age late 20/ early 30s and have a good skill. If you start a family at 40 by the time they reach their 20s your going to be in your 60s. And how much are you going to have in common with a woman who’s 30 years younger ? 15 maybe .
@@kls701goals and values can be the same
100% true
30 years younger than 40 is 10 😂😂
Question. A lot of BW will take Single Big Momma? Divorced Mother? Bitter & Lonely Auntie’s word about their bad experiences with men to heart. And carry that energy into dating. But when you talk to Happily Married BW, most will say money/career/status weren’t prioritized in finding their husbands. Sooooooooooo why aren’t More sistahs listening to THEM to set realistic standards finding Husband material????
Because most of them are faking
They don't buy into the hype esp w how many black men cheat and lie
We need our elders who has wisdom in this to put people in their place. I get everybody got their own opinion their own views all of that is great, but sometimes those that have been there before us can unveil what actually works and may not work for everybody but something to go off.
Richard Wright literally wrote a book speaking to this invisibility. Although it dealt with the issue of race rather than relationships, it is a reality for black men in the U.S.
However, when you consider what some of us say about black women being white supremacist, your idea is not far fetched.
How are black women white supremacist
Your first (and biggest) mistake is prioritizing a person's skin color above all other traits.
Unfortunately it goes that way.
16:40 I ABSOLUTELY 100% DISAGREE! Pookie and Ray Ray are the only men they can talk to crazy because Pookie and Ray Ray need them for a place to stay and to borrow their car while they are at work. Working black women have leverage over those men because those men need them to sustain themselves. A black man who has his life in order with a career and his own everything does not need tolerate disrespect or unbecoming behavior because he doesn't need that woman to survive, he wants her for companionship and love. That is why many black women hate good men they can't bully them into submission because they have no leverage. All they can leverage over a good man is peace, calm and cooperation but we know many black women veiw that as "slavery".
You stole the words right out of my mouth. It's all about control. BW know that Pookie and Ray Ray will be dependent on them. Many of our women can not wrap their heads around the idea of submitting to any man.
@@theblackschwab3561, I would never submit to a man!
Black men and women are going to have to make a deal because where this nation is headed being separated and independent is not going to continue to be a sustainable option. The influx of migrants show that one group of people are being ushered in which means another group is being ushered out and sadly that group of people are black Americans. This idea of not settling is going to have to be done away with and the two must work together with what we both have in order to survive these next coming years
I agree
More ammunition to not engage a BW. The message is getting clearer by the day.
Quite the opposite actually. Women choose the Pookie because of the control over the relationship. The Pookie will tolerate all her red flags. She doesn't need to take him seriously. Women today will live in the lie they tell themselves just for the external validation she can get. But they do admire and resent being exposed to those lies at the same time...The DMV is the core of the Matrix that majority of people operate in the delusion but are so inadequate with themselves in reality.
Absolutely True!
Great video.. You make some valid points 😌.. However, in the dating market today, the vast majority of women gravitate towards men who allow them to move how they wanna move.. When u start holding the women (majority) accountable, they get this uncomfortable feeling and move away.. I’m talking about attractive women who can get many men.. only a small percentage of these women will consistently accept accountability 😌
True. People (men or women) with options will treat you like an option. Rather than correct themselves, they'll move on to the next bc in their minds they aren't the problem.
@@keptbygrace6221 that is true 😌
Hypergamy isn’t just about having more money. That’s why we’re failing.
52,000 for Black Men. Again, your suppose to get married and combine salaries but BW no longer want to do that. They claim its "Struggle Love". So the men have moved on. I wish nothing but luck to the ladies.
I am shocked by the level of cultural dislocation in the African American population. The image of the women is terrible, mostly single mothers, no respectful, even shout to men a tabou in Africa Asia and south America m.
Men and women have similar behavior no matter where you go! Trust I’m very well travelled! 🤷🏽♀️
We are warned not to eat from strangers, and because we disregard this instruction, we will forever suffer. Keep in mind that the process the foods we are eating are chemicaly enhanced to create enmity between ourselves.
Thank God for you. I prayer your words reach those who wish to listen.
Accountability secretly is child's play. 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Its the 80 20 rule most guys know we not Chad and we need other qualities just to attract the right woman for us we dont need all the girls to notice us just that one and she is her…
The reason we can't get along is really simple...Social Media has destroyed women...They are no longer dealing with reality
also inflation of prices without income to adjust to new inflation. It puts women in a, “all or nothing” high stakes game.
the only way it will balance out is if war, pestilence, famine and poverty is all in our grasp again.
as that will be the only way women will see the intrinsic value of man again, our physical strength, virility, stamina and endurance.
as the world becomes easier and easier through industrialization; the incentives for a committed relationship become less and less.
Ecclesiastes 1:9
New International Version
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
We didn't get along before social media. This problem is 50 years old. Social media exposed many aspects of the problem, and now BM have a say in it. BM didn't have a voice in the problem before social media. Now that BM are speaking about our sharing our experiences, there's a problem....
@@JeromeBostick
It wasn't this bad....nowhere near
@@ricorogers9319 Bud, I hate to tell you this? But yes it was. . . . . . . Precious' story existed long before Tiktok and makes Metamorphosis (a greek tragedy hiding behind an erotic manga) look tame.
They were never living in reality
This was on time in my current concerns.Much appreciated.
We need to talk runs a great channel.
Yep. He doesn’t get nearly the credit he deserves.
He absolutely does
If you wanna sell your soul in this world you can its not hard ,black men dont feel invisible or insignificant ,most are noticing you have to sell your soul to be on top and to get some of these women jezebels and you have to i repeat have to be worldly ,and they not going out like that so they ignoring wordly women,its not the other way around .
For me personally I have always thought that hey maybe me as black guy doing my favorite hobby such as anime or video games left me on an island growing up which lead me to not be noticed alot from some women but majority black women. I never argued or talked down about black women for it hey if Im not your cup of tea than that is ok with me, but Im not going to lie and say that it didnt make me feel a certain way like am I doing somethin wrong or am I the problem. Now to be fair today is different I grew up in a different time Im 32 so now alot of younger women in general date guys who have those hobbies more which is good for the younger guys who do. A very good video as usual. Dont forget about MTR .
Me too my bro , iam 40. Thought the same thing. It’s a black community thing. How get more respect going jail than getting a masters degree. Black community has a long history of promoting ignorance and stupidity.
You are RIGHT
Not only is it not realistic, it’s also economically foolish. For example, if expenses are 100 whatever, and income is 100 or even more whatever. The net value is zero or slightly more than zero. Reducing expenses by 50% also results in a 50% gain in net income.
She reduced her roll, men won't care, the wall is undefeated 🤡
As far as feeling invisible. As a Young Man I did feel some kind of way when I faced rejection from the sisters. Certainly both young men and women can be foolish in their youth but I think it goes back to being prepared as a Young Man. And a big culprit for this is that most black men are not being taught that a young man needs to build himself before taking on another responsibility such as a wife and a family. This is even more so I today because a lot of young men are raised in a single parent home and they may not have that male component or a healthy male mentor to teach them these things. Notice in the Bible that a lot of the men that got married was older. For example, Isaac, the son of Abraham, was 40 years old before he took a wife and his father chose the wife for him. No, I'm not saying we need to do that that was their culture and their time but the point I'm making is that these men were established before taking on the responsibility of a wife and a family. That's why it's imperative that young black men and women don't waste their youth on wild & reckless living. Especially if marriage and building a family is something that is desired in the future.
I wanted add to my comment. It's funny that you are hypothesizing that maybe some black man feel invisible. I brought to mind a book or read a while back call The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.
@17:00 I agree. Life is not safe and women know they'd rather be with the danger than the lick. It doesn't benefit women many times to be nice and well-mannered for a world that doesn't protect and reward nice and well-mannered women.
They want to be held accountable. What for? Honestly thats up to the men they respect.
In most cases BW w multiple kids, disqualify themselves from any man stepping in a paying ALL the bills. Where’s the baby daddy/daddies?
What I fine to be disturbing is that everyone keeps say g how black men don’t make money; as if we are being carried somehow. That’s definitely not true. Almost all the brothers I know own houses and are doing well; taking trips in and out of the country! Most even have their own businesses
Very balanced, cerebral and analytical in your opinion and not coming from an emotional space. Refreshing perspectives. Salute and subscribed!
BIG FACTS LOVE THAT BACK GROUND MUSIC LADY🎯🎯
Everyone is exhausted from work. It’s work.
Please remember Black women have Black babies and predominately raise Black children that they give birth to.
So, for any complaints or defects please focus on talking to the manufacturer.
Cognitive dissonance is rampant in the Black family unit starting with the mothers who raise thier son's one way while at the same time displaying to their son's and daughters they don't want a relationship let alone be married to a Black man no matter how much money the Black man makes.
Peace and Real Love.
#AccountabilityMatters!
#PlayYourRole
#DoYourPart
I've adapted to the idea that my worth is my Bank Account, but BW Prefer WM regardless of their income & physical traits
So basically BM have to overcompensate for being a BM when he's with a BW.
Not all just some.
@@blackwolverine1 Generally They prefer WM, if that makes it better...
@@boycottactivision If that was the case every territory populated by Black Women would be oversaturated with BW/WM couples. Maybe in that little noggin of yours, but overall your speaking an untruth. All the BW in my family are with BM, FACTS!!
@@blackwolverine1 The issue with that theory is for WM/BW relationships to happen, WM have to want BW Back. Studies show every group of Men want their own Wmn. WM from the same study said they believe BW are not for Marriage but "Fun".
Book: "The Dating Divide". By PHD Sociologist Jennifer Lundquist..
2:00 A single mother with kids will only let a man lead if he comes in and pays 100% of the bills. So, he has to essentially pay for her AND all of her kids to get respect. You can't make this stuff up. And honestly, I'm sure that even if a man did all that she would not let him lead because I see that happen too often.
You have to give up some level of control to be in a healthy relationship (whether you're male or female). That's really the issue she has and if she does not want to give up ANY control, then yes stay single and save everyone the grief. The problem is, that mentality is fine as long as you can work and have your "good job." The minute you get chronically sick, are laid off, etc then all hell breaks loose when it's all on you (i.e., don't have a partner). Black women are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs but also the fastest growing group of the homeless population due in part to this hyper focus on independence.
For many years I wanted the “love jones”, “love and basketball” situations, but then over time you have to let the idea go.
Then go for “love and lacrosse”
Lol
There's a deep and vast divide between Black Women and Men, and it's reality also seriously destroying our culture.
I spoke as a african american man with a economcis professor from Uganda the other day and we both laughed so hard together. social media and instagram only perpetuated and destroyed peoples households and the rich used it to subjugate middle class families and create isolation and poverty. We have unreal standards in our communities through false material posessions. It wasnt what our ancestors grandmothers and great grandmothers based family off of. Thats why black women are making videos talking about dating other single moms and being exhausted. Being a strong single mother isnt cool when your children are being prayed on by beuracratic marxists who are engineering poverty for their own gain.
Interesting. So if bw in general subconsciously seek accountability but consciously avoid it, what is the root cause of the struggle? Could it be insecurity? If you have an overwhelming need to be a "boss," to be a "10," to think YOU are the "prize," to think that everything about you is "intimidating" to anyone who won't put up with you, are you going to be open to accountability? If the prompt to take accountability is coming from the very men you have an overwhelming need to think you are better than and that accountability is essentially an admission of a deficit, will a person lacking humility be motivated to take that on? The irony is taking accountability to aid in one's evolution is ultimately a sign of strength but through the lens of insecurity probably seems like the opposite
Well said and very powerful questions that I hope to address. 🙏🏾
@nnekaonyilofor thought provoking video. This is the second time I've seen you address this subject matter and on the surface it seems to be the opposite of what you're suggesting but when you really contemplate everything that's on display, you might be on to something
That sister, you mentioned in the beginning it’s very sad case because for her to be an educated, businesswoman and reduce black men to just bill payers is ridiculous. Women like that who gravitate to the Pookie and Ray Ray’s it’s not about accountability. It’s about sex and being able to have your cake and eat it too, and She knows that she can’t hold them accountable. It’s about the lack of accountability if anything. They don’t care about her they want to be taken care of, but her needs can be met in the bedroom and no real man who has that mentality of a husband or a father isn’t going to tolerate that foolishness either, but she also now has three children by some other man or men and the type of man she truly desires and needs her life won’t accept being a stepfather, generally speaking without him being much older. We already know it’s a lot of variables here so she’ll be single and have her cat or dog with her children after college and living their own lives one day, but if she’s willing to, except that, so be it.
Our society is no longer made for one income families. Women that insist on only dating men able to pay all the bills can stay happily single. Plenty of people are looking for interdependence.
In a world where men had to split their $1 paycheck down to $0.50 so women can join the workforce to earn the other $0.50, women still expect men to provide $1 worth of lifestyle.
No one ever mentions building character based on integrity, trustworthiness, and honor with males. Why? Finance is a foundation, but not sufficient for a healthy partnership/marriage/parental role. A man must be safe in several ways.
Most chicks who say a guy must make 6 figures or more in order for her to submit to him and let him lead are usually either unrealistic or being disingenuous. They either unrealistically believe far more guys make that kinda money than who actually does, or disingenuously setting the bar to a level they know most guys can't reach so that they can have the excuse of being the way that they are or as an excuse to retain power and control.
They're also never fine enough to be making those demands lol never
I think you are right brother. It's a justification for not being on program. If they got the six figure guy, he would be too controlling or some other excuse to justify bad behavior.
@@retrojay86And then they would divorce said man and take all his resources. It's crazy these women can't realize how stupid they sound.
Why do you need for someone to submit to you? I never hear that from WM. Why can't a woman just be receptive?
@@aprilclover2429 lol you're not listening nor watching close enough of you don't hear it from WM. Plenty of them on here and FB I have heard and seen say the same or similar things. Rather you call it submissive or cooperative or receptive, it is the same thing. Changing the wording doesn't change the concept nor the meaning.
That woman can pay all her own bills and deal with all her own bad ass kids. Ain’t nobody looking for her or her attitude.
Some black women treat black guys like credit cards or lesser. I've heard black women talk about the differences in how they approach white guys as apposed to black guys. They say black guys have a understanding and being able to take more disrespect. On top of that you got women calling for the death of black guys, the diverster movement, etc. Black men are tired and standing up for themselves.
Spot on !
I believe that this is extremely simple. Many American “black” woman in regards to relationships with men would rather be right than happy. I also believe that we as married men are to love our women unconditionally and woman are to respect their husbands regardless of if she feels like it, he didn’t earn it or not. Demonstrate respect is the key. Woman were never called to love their husbands and husbands were never called to respect their woman…
Talk about how women dont want good guys in their youth.
Shout out to The BLACK MANOSPHERE that initiated these conversations so many years ago - Founded by the "3 Kings"; Oshay Duke Jackson, The Angryman, and Mumia "Obsidian" Ali! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Listen to them, the originators, and they'll teach you a WHOLE lot more!
Abw needs held accountable and responsibility to themselves