Im 73 Father of two, step father of two, Grandfather of nine. Because we lost a son in law, I had to step in and be father figure to three of my grandkids. So I have some experience and one important piece of advice. There is a lot to worry about as a father, and you will make mistakes along the way. Figure out what's important to you, and try not to repeat the mistakes. This is not the advice I want to give. This is. You don't have to be the sharpest crayon in the box, you just have to be in the box. Do that and everything will work out. Good luck young men. This country needs good Dads.
👏 Indeed. We need responsible and thoughtful people to have children. Population dynamics is a fascinating study but also deeply troubling as things are going now.
"you dont have to be the sharpest crayon in the box, you just have to be in the box" - I almost cried. I'm about to become a dad and this msg really encouraged me. Thank you
@@whyrsvp Good I'm glad. The only other piece of advice that I will give you. Get down in to their world. Play on the floor with your kids, and grow up with them. You'll have a blast, and the bonds you are making will last longer than a life time.
I really admire how so many men are choosing to engage with parenting in a way that's more involved and active than my dad's generation. With that change, though, we need to make sure there are resources and supports for dads, just like there are for moms. Thanks for helping to support that need!
Yeah for real. Every time I go to check ups with my daughter, my wife gets asked about her health as well but no questions for the dads. It’s pretty messed up.
Agreed. My dad was a part of that generation and his dad before him. I have some family that still lives like that, hopefully this leads to a better kind of man as our generations go on.
I would also say we are more involved because moms are working snd have different responsibilities now We have to adjust and do our best to help the family
Agreed and well of course all of our dads no matter what want of all of us to do better like we want our kids to do better this generation is great so far imagine the future
Beautiful to see. But let’s appreciate what our fathers have done for us too and be grateful for they did the most with what they had and what they understood.
My husband noticed that when we went to checkups they often asked me how I was doing, but they didn't direct questions or even really acknowledge his presence (!), it was almost kind of bizarre.... The health/support system for "parents" needs to try harder to welcome dad's and accept how involved today's dad's rly are.
“Motherhood is instinctual and fatherhood is learned” as a first time mom who is the oldest of 6 kids I can assure you motherhood is learned, many,like me, are taught young
How come my ducks know how to raise young? They watched mom as babies? Instincts are beautiful, like a newborn crawling to breast. What about motherhood did you have to learn? Probably artificial or modern stuff right? Medical stuff I can see that as they are anatomically and metabolically different.
@@boulderingbadger6179 I mean, when I was younger I learned a lot of stuff about cleaning bottles and pumps because I was 7 years older than my siblings who were twins so there was a bunch of bottles. During pregnancy they talk a lot about how latching for breastfeeding isn’t as easy as a lot of people make it out to be and they focused on making sure the latch was solid literally first thing after birth. Babies make different cries for different things that are instinctual on the babies end, like more of a “na” sound when hungry and I learned about those through RUclips when I was pregnant just kinda making sure I was on top of stuff. A lot of motherhood so far for me has been baby doing baby things and I’m like “yeah I’ve seen this before” and my husband will say to me occasionally “I noticed or son does *thing* when he needs *blank* ” and I’m like oh yeah thought that was common knowledge my bad for not making sure he knew. Poor hubby having a rougher time than me because he was an only kid and I’m the oldest of 6. Like there’s definitely certain things that can be considered instincts cuz when baby cries you rush to help, even if you don’t know the slight differences to know what they need. But we know parenthood isn’t instinct because it’s pretty common for new parents to struggle because they straight up don’t know. It is interesting that other animals have better instincts for raising their young but they also don’t have a societal structure so species that any raise the next generation on instinct is gonna die out and leave behind those that can. Honestly, i feel like parenthood is the babies running on instinct and the parents running on fumes lmao
@@boulderingbadger6179 The knowledge doesn’t just get put into our heads the minute we pop a child out. By your analogy male children would also know how to parent. There are terrible parents all around us. Self Education is key and a basic for all new parents, mum or dad.
He’s so right about post partum, when my son max was born 6 months ago, I fell into a deep DEEP depression, I couldn’t eat, use them bathroom, sleep and I was borderline suicidal. It’s no joke, but 6 months later I’m an amazing father and I love him more than life. Dads, if you are feeling this way, talk to your family, talk to your girlfriend/wife you are NOT alone and a couple months later everything WILL be okay. And ladies too, it’s hard your hair will fall out, you will develope medical problems due to all these hormones and you may not bond right away, but you WILL stay strong everyone. We got this
Do you know where the depression comes from? Was it related to the child coming into your life and forcing you to change things? I'm just wondering for myself at 5 months pregnant because a lot of people talk about ppd like they just spontaneously get it... but I just want to know what risk factors are involved in making the depression worse. Is it poor relationship with the partner? Is it lack of sleep? Is it being in the dark about things to look out for your baby? There has to be a logical reason to this, not just hormones.
Reading your comment helps me a lot. Im in my car crying because I cant cope with my 2 month baby. I love him so much but I hate the crying , I feel like punished trying to figure out whats going on at 3am while being shouted and screamed at. I usted to be so full of laughter and smiling and now I just want to stay at work after hours just to not return to home. I feel horrible, like the worst dad ever.
My husband found this video on his own time, and shared it with me! I’m so glad this channel appealed to my big, gruff, USMC honey...It was really nice to know that he thought to search for new parenting videos while on his break at work. I think this channel hooked him, which I appreciate. Thank you for posting it; I agree with Asya; I thought it was very real and genuine also. 😊
😭😭 finally!!! a MAN understand mom struggles!!! especially regarding breastfeeding and mental health. that part hit me hard. you got me crying because i'm so touched someone understood all my challenges. you have no idea how much that means when someone understands how much i've went through for my kids.
People don't realize how much work it takes to nurse. Far too few realize that it can be both a mental and physical feat of endurance. Based off of media representations, I thought it was an easy, basic thing. I was wrong. It's effing hard.
As a woman I think with breastfeeding all I wanted was for my husband to be there and help where he could. Know it’s exhausting and just help me with whatever, cleaning pump parts, baking me lactation cookies, lol just be an extra set of hands bc it takes over your life as a woman and every bit of help is appreciated. And to know after three months when an allergy made switching to formula better my husband saying this is the right decision don’t feel guilty...all I needed was to hear that from him. Can he breastfeed? No, but he can support me with the process emotionally and with logistics.
Amen to that. As a new dad yassss be there with mom and support her be with her trying to make her laugh and give her to eat in there mouth is the best feeling. 👍
I'm a postpartum nurse and I am so sorry you felt guilt/pressure due to the challenges of breastfeeding from nurses. I always tell my patients that breastfeeding is great if it works for you. Nothing ever works by the book and a fed baby is the happiest baby! Not everyone can breastfeed or choose to and that's okay! I feel that prioritizing your mental health is just as important so it is totally okay to feed baby in whatever method fits your life (breastfeeding, pumping, formula). I hope more people, especially in healthcare, start to become more flexible with the nuances around breastfeeding/feeding and the challenges that come with it. I appreciate your channel and your honesty!
@@Deltasoldier89 As a mother who couldn't breastfeed in the hospital and who had to watch my baby go hungry because the hospital was so obsessed with breastfeeding, I'm telling you to shu+ up.
With my second baby, we went to a hospital where I was not shamed for feeding our baby formula. The formula was available as soon as I realized I didn't have enough milk and asked for formula. Because of that, I didn't have to stay up all night trying to nurse a hungry baby with nonexistent breastmilk. This made all the difference. My second baby had a shorter hospital stay. I was less exhausted/depressed and better able to bond with my second baby
I am a new mom and I feel like this video is super helpful for all new parents out there. You are spot on with every single topic. People often forget that having a baby changes both moms and dads. While there are a lot of support groups out there for moms, there aren’t many for new dads. Dads need support too.
Literally had my son come into the world 8 hours ago and your videos have really helped me and my wife get a general sense of what to expect. Thanks so much for the great content!
Wow, how did you find 22 minutes of time to watch a video just hours after your baby was born?! Haha. For us, it was weeks before there was that kind of free time.
Your self awareness about baby trends, what you do as an influencer, while staying true to yourself and your family’s needs and being able to articulate that to your audience is impressive! My man and I learned a lot and it reminds us that it’s about balance in this crazy tech and social media world 🎉❤
My partner and I are having a son due 8th of Feb, it’s crazy how quickly everything is going and to think I’ll soon be a dad… but in saying that I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for anything in my life. There’s something about knowing this thing, that you created and that totally depends and relies on you to look after it and raise it is incredibly scary, but incredibly exciting to look forward to. I can’t wait to pour my heart and soul into my son and do everything I can to raise him to be a good man. Update: wanted to come back and say he’s here! Born 31st January at 6:34 AM, weighing 3.3kgs. He’s 6 weeks old today. Couldn’t be happier with how everything has gone so far, although the lack of sleep is definitely getting to me a bit haha, but it’s all worth it.
Yep, mine hopefully on the 30th January, to be a dad at 35 is something surreal because I've always wanted a child, my first marriage never worked now I'm married again and finally God will it goes well.
Bouta Have My Baby Boy With My Shawty ! Definitely An Amazing Feeling & I Wanna Be The Best Father I Can Be, Really Feel Like My Generation Is Steppin In Up Being Alot More Active Than Before ! Lets Keep This Momentum Going For The Our Kids ! Peace & Love To All The Dads Out There Holdin It Down 🫡
Embrace it, enjoy it. We just lost ours, our first due in a few months and its devastating. We work hard, were ready and were so excited. Back to work a few hours after finding out, in a daze. However exhausting it may be, count your blessings
I'm about to become a dad for the first time. I'm scared I won't lie but I'm so ready to throw myself into every single aspect of it. I know its going to be tough but I'm just so excited to begin this journey!
As a new dad, I really appreciate your thorough reviews! Most of my time with RUclips reviews were on electronics, cars and other nonessentials and now this is so nice to see. Someone like you out there with advice and detailed honest reviews is very much appreciated! Keep up the great work, Dads out there appreciate it!
Thank you friend. My wife and I are expecting our first child August 2021. Your videos have eased some (of course not all) of my anxieties. I can't express how excited we are, but your advice really speaks to me.
To any dads watching this who didn't connect with their baby right away - we moms can experience that, too. I struggled to emotionally connect with my second daughter immediately after birth, and it made me feel like a horrible person. But eventually the bond happened and she and I are fine now. Hugs! You've got this!
I think this is a normal feeling for many people, a lot of people just don't have the courage to come out and say it, but the fact that you did and are aware enough to recognize this, says a lot about you. I bet your a great mother. Keep up the good work and God bless you!
@@jesushelps Emotions are all stable now haha. Being a dad has changed my life for the better. It is the toughest thing i´ve ever done but also the best thing that ever happend to me. Wishing you all the best with your son! enjoy it!
@@BlueWhitePyrolate comment. But just had my boy a week ago and I’m struggling with severe anxiety mostly about him being safe and sleeping at night. Also feel guilt for doing things I enjoy while my wife has sleepless nights. Did you deal with this? And did it go away?
I've actually experienced being shamed and mocked for planning to breastfeed. Regardless of what you choose some people just feel entitled to pass judgement with no consideration of how that effects the person they're criticising.
Great point, it cuts both ways. No parent should feel shamed with either path they take. Other people's beliefs shouldn't dictate how you parent. If it's right for you, then it's right for you. You're amazing.
@@EatTwinkies13 well, in my cuban family my grandmothers perceived formula as what the wealthy upperclass could provide for their kids while breastfeeding is perceived as for poor people to have to resort to. It's very common in certain cultures.
Love this so much!! Dads are just as important as moms and there’s not enough help or understanding out in the world for the things that dads experience. Keep it up with the dad empowerment!!
Thank you for being so open and talking about something no one really talks about, glad I found your page when we were first expecting. My baby just made 6 months and knowing someone has gone through the same exact same thing helps a lot mentally.
As a soon to be dad and a young one at that, this has helped in a lot of ways that I can express, you worded things perfectly and really have helped me with understanding things I couldn’t have thought of by myself. Thank you!
We just had our 2nd baby and wow! It's waaayyy more challenging with a toddler to look after too... we're still trying to figure out how to make time for each other and how to make everything work. Great video, i needed to hear the last point about time and carving some time out to go and do things outside lol!
You're videos have been a life saver. My partner couldn't breastfeed and felt very guilty because of all the social media pressures. I supported her through the transition to formula (I was a formula baby and am fine) but she wouldn't hear my support. She actually needed to hear other people tell her that the stress from not being able to breast feed was a huge detriment to our family relationship and formula is ok. Again thank you I'm 40 years old and this is my first baby and he was totally unexpected and a complete gift from the universe.
I'm having my first child at 31 and I'm still freaking out but very happy and excited this helped alot for a first time dad making sure mom is good making sure baby is great and trying to maintain and balance yourself and your emotions this channel will be followed.
THANK YOU for bringing up the breastfeeding vs formula issue. I personally couldn’t breastfeed. Around 8 weeks postpartum we learned why and it was NOTHING I could have done to have changed my circumstances. I always felt the need to tell my story EVERY TIME someone asked how I was choosing to feed my child (in reality it is no one’s business) I should never have felt the need to explain our circumstances. Let’s normalize that FED is best, please. ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for reminding me... Many who formula feed (including us) felt like we needed to explain the reasoning behind why we did that to friends/family/nurses, etc. and then endure the judgmental look of disapproval afterward. The pressure to expound on that choice shouldn't exist.
It literally got exhausting telling every single damn person why I wasn’t breast feeding it makes new moms especially so depressed I’ve never been exhausted from depression so much in my life consistently telling them personal information just to get someone to understand my own circumstances
Thank you for this video! My son is on his way in 4 months and to say im stressed out is an understatement and having a father lay the truth out really helps
New dad here - struggled with anxiety and depression for about 4 years since before our little guy was born - definitely feeling a comeback with both of those. So thankful to have such a strong wife. But man, the guilt that I feel for feeling so low. The guilt i have that I feel like I should be doing more when I'm so extremely exhausted and down right sick to my stomach from the nerves is very overwhelming. I cry, I'm not afraid to admit it. If I don't cry, I'll go nuts if I don't let some emotion out. I didn't think dads could feel symptoms like post partum depression. Doctors at the hospital said to give it time, about 2 weeks, to see if these feelings start to subside. If not, to definitely seeking out counseling/therapy. I've done therapy in the past for different issues and I know it helps. Fingers crossed 🤞 all this subsides because I know deep down inside I have so much love to give and know that I can be and will be a great dad/father. Best of luck to any of you guys dealing with something similar!
Just stumbled on your page and im loving it. My wife and I had our first son a month ago. Everything you said was on the money. We’ll be tuning in to more of your content. Thank you!
I want you to know how much help this video has given me. We are 6 days postpartum and my wife is struggling with breastfeeding. Her depression and anxiety about this in conjunction with the pain from the cesarean is near crippling. I told me company I am taking another 4 weeks off because she needs me. I feel like she’s doing all the hard work and helping out around the house with our kids. Anyway, you’re videos are amazing and really helping me. Thank you 🙏
This was refreshing. Brand new dad here (1 week). I like how you talk about that its ok for us guys to open up about our feelings. I've been bottled up till I saw this video. You wanna be strong and tough but it's taxing.
its so important for men to know that they are also subject to postpartum depression and are at higher risk if they have a history of depression or the mom has PPD or a history of it. Im want to be a lactation consultant RN so I can prevent women from feeling like failures if they cant breastfeed the way they want.
In my early 20s and got thrown into parenthood unexpectedly.. this video was really reassuring to listen to. I definitely will take away a lot as I journey on through this unexpected but exciting chapter in my life!
Same here brother 🙏 I pray and hope everything is going well for you! My women is currently being prepped to deliver the baby right now ❗️I’ll be a father soon, super excited & nervous lol
Investing in yourself is huge, honestly. There are so many tips/tricks we've picked up with our newborn that are game changers. Had my son and he's 7 weeks old now, and I think the one thing that has helped both of my wife and I through all of it is Empathy. Empathy for each other, empathy for what the baby's needs are and if he's upset - imagine yourself in his shoes... he can't do anything for himself, you'd be crying and screaming too. Be empathetic first and foremost. Imagine if you never had to poop or physically eat and suddenly you have to. Imagine you didn't have to regulate your own body temperature and you suddenly things can be too hot or too cold and you can't do anything about it. Imagine growing so fast that it hurts and you suddenly have to just hope for soothing. Imagine being filthy below the belt and can't speak or clean yourself, possibly getting a UTI which now suddenly even peeing burns. Honestly, being a baby is akin to some kind of sadistic SAW trap toned down to non-lethal levels. . . so be empathetic to your baby's needs and you'll find it a lot harder to get upset, frustrated, or anything besides goal-focused on making them as happy/healthy as possible any way possible. :)
Thanks so much for this video. We found out we will be parents after 7 months of being officially together but years of being friends. We have always been party people, haven’t saved as much as we could etc but since the news everything has changed. I have to admit, I am terrified but more excited than I have ever been. Thanks so much for this video, your break down of these 10 factors already makes sense and I feel has made me better prepared for the wonderful challenge ahead!
Tip 2 is painfully honest. Fortunately for me that feeling only lasted for the first 48 hours. My wife had to have an emergency c section and I didn’t have enough time to process. I remember when my son finally came out, I felt like he was a complete stranger and had no connection and my priority was to be at my wife’s side during the surgery. I remember my wife saying that if they take him out the room i better follow him and I didn’t want to at all because I thought she needed me more at her side. I felt ashamed because he was my son and helpless. Once the surgery was over and I knew my wife was gonna be okay and the baby was healthy I was able to let my guard and process my emotions. I remember holding him for the first time and just watching his facial expression as his eyes wandered processing what was going on. I can happily say I love my family and we have a great bond!
I just found out last week my gf and I are having a baby and I’m so thankful that there are resources like this to help expecting fathers through the entire process. Thank you so much for being there for all fathers
We just had our first child yesterday and I’ve been watching your videos for a little while now. I appreciate you and your channel and everything you do! It really does help!
What you’re doing with these videos is extremely helpful and genuinely educational. Watched your vids before my son was born and after and I only continue to learn and progress as a father. You’re a good person and father for taking the time to really go in depth on these things while having your own life to live. Thank you for that!
I think it is wonderful that you’ve made a channel dedicated to showing the fathers side of the journey to parenthood and also giving alittle insight to how stressful breastfeeding is on this video because it is. I honestly didn’t realize how hard it was going to be but thank you for the videos!
Yes on Scheduling sex!!! Right as you put the kids to bed, don't go on your phone to scroll on social media and "disconnect". Make it a point to get right into it and then do all the rest of the things us parents do during "happy hour" (the time between putting the kids to bed and going to bed). This is coming from a woman's perspective. We have different expectations and it's so important to communicate and arrange when sex is going to happen. That way you both know when it's going to happen and disappointment will be less. I recommend this to every newlywed I know and they all laugh at me and a year later come and tell me "yeah scheduling rocks!". You can still be spontaneous, but it does help take the guesswork from it all.
I love what you said about not getting on your phone to disconnect during the "happy hour" window (I've never heard that but now I'm stealing it!) It's so dang true. Scrolling through Insta kills the vibe and does nothing to bring us closer. Sure it's a way to decompress, but it rarely leads to any spontaneous fun. No phones until after sex!! 😝
Some of my buddies are thrill-seekers but not parents. I told them when they want the ultimate thrill have children. A father of two here and it's beautiful and scary and one hell of a ride! Good luck!
My wife wanted to breastfeed she was looking forward to it and couldn’t becuz the baby came a little early and she didn’t produce much milk and after the baby was born my wife was recovering and she had depression becuz she felt she wasn’t doing enough as a mother and I had to tell her you did enough already you gave me my daughter and joy once again rest and let me take care of you both until you’re ready , I hope more men see this and understand that we have to emotionally support our spouse and work as a team , I love my daughter from the instant she was born I believe patience is key
Dude thank you so much for making this video. We are expecting in just 8 weeks time and I really feel the need to get quality info, to make a good start, and I don't end up losing confidence in myself in this scary new stage of life, also being the most supportive husband possible is important. I want to be help not a hindrance and your video will help a lot of first time dad's I'm sure. You've confirmed some of my thoughts on sex-life changes, over-hyped/priced baby tech, which you don't really need and some great thoughts on feeding, stress and chores, which I wasn't aware of. Thanks again, and please keep the videos coming!!
I've got a 2 week old, thank you for this. I'm trying my best to be the best dad that i can be, It's just a major change and it's hard to be strong while adjusting.
I’m a new mom and I want to better understand my husband and how he felt when we had our first daughter. This video has helped me better understand a new dad’s perspective
Love seeing the dads perspective! Thank you so much for making these videos. It is so helpful to see what my husband might be feeling (especially when it’s something he might not want to share.) ❤️😊
Thanks for your insight. Much appreciated and I agree 100%. Our second child which is now 3 months old, we are having a difficult time with. Stress is the worst factor as me and my wife are also struggling personally and in our marriage. But we will make it through. All the best for all the mom and dads out there.
Hello, future mom here :D just came to learn more for my partner and to help him get through everything that's coming. Thank you for being so honest and letting us see another perspective. Dads are awesome
Thank you man. I’m 22. Me and my girlfriend just found out she’s pregnant. We’re young, and I know the odds are against us, but we just couldn’t imagine an abortion. So we’re sticking it out. I’m terrified. Beyond terrified. But I know this is my responsibility, and I need to step up. Im slowly getting more and more excited. This was helpful.
FACTS FACTS FACTS. We have a toddler turning 3 in June and another one coming mid-July. We're very excited to relive the cute newborn/baby stage BUT with another toddler over our shoulder, it will be very challenging. This video should be revisited every once in awhile to help recalibrate our mindset. Keep doing what you're doing. My wife and I love your content! Edit: I wish I wore my first more. I will definitely not make that mistake again.
Dad of one week old here. I felt the feeding part. My wife is trying really hard to breastfeed but our dear baby just won't latch on. Even when she does she'd unlatch after 3 seconds. Sometimes she can sit for good 2 hours just to try to put the nipple in our baby's screaming mouth. Seeing her breakdown just breaks my heart.
Hey man I’m a soon to be new father and have a month left, how you handle your videos is amazing for someone like me who had been stressing over a lot of things. I can’t wait to look at more videos and I thank you for taking the time to make these. Less scared now lol
I’m a new dad of 3 months now to a little girl, and almost everything you said here is on point. LITERALLY had some of the exact conversations you had with your wife, with mine just a couple days ago. Communication is absolutely KEY to raising a baby, especially early on. The bit about you keeping a “chore score” is too real to me lol. Legit talked about that exact thing yesterday. Great video tho. As a new parent, you hit on a lot of important scenarios that are all very factual
Yes they poop. Yes they cry. you become so busy. your time with movies, TV series, gaming will come to an end. But guys, The satisfaction of them falling sleep on your arms, When they give you their really really cute smile, start calling you "daddy", That worth more than anything. Once you get used to it, everything mentioned above will become less important.
I'm really glad you brought up the issues with nursing. My girlfriend and I are doing a mix of formula and breast milk but while we were in the postpartum unit at the hospital, the lactation consultants more or less told us to totally avoid formula. When the baby is crying and hungry and mom is so exhausted and wants to sleep, it makes me feel helpless. I would even sneak a bottle of formula at night to keep the baby fed and happy while the girlfriend was asleep. Finally, we met a doctor who told us that we're doing fine and to keep doing what we're doing, but if I do a bottle of formula, the girlfriend should still pump to keep her body conditioned. I just hate to think about how obsessively "natural" conscious our society has become that some moms and dads are skipping feedings because they aren't willing to top off or supplement with formula.
I know your comment us 2 years old, but for any other ew dads out there, always remember and feed baby is the best baby. It doesnt matter if it's breast milk or formula, the baby needs food and don't worry about others say
our baby is only a month old and the stress really got me. It actually got my anxiety kick in as well. I felt bad for myself, for my wife and my baby. It also got me to do bad things including bad mouthed some people. The stress really got me. This video helped me understand more what being a dad is like. Thank you
Hey man, everything is gonna be okay. First few week, or in your case first month is a pure survival mode.. I got my son 3 days ago, I'm overwhelmed but I'm keeping my cool. Just understand one.. He or she, is a a little copy of you. A piece of you, they are new to the world, scared, afraid.. They lived in a womb for 9 months, i mean.. I bet you and I weren't easy on our parents either. All I'm trying to say is that you gotta push thru, most important thing is that you are all healthy and safe. You'll see bro, it'll get easier.
This is great for mom and dad! As a mom I didn’t auto bond with BOTH of my kids. 1st kid till almost a year and on baby #2 now still on the way to the bond.
My husband watches your video and sends them to me. I’m 20 weeks and we are first time parents. Thank you making relevant content men and women can relate too!
I came home from work yesterday at 3 pm, having a fairly normal day. My wife sat me down on the bed, and said, "close your eyes." (I thought she had gotten some sexy shirt or clothes or something) She handed me two positive pregnancy tests. After trying for around 3 or 4 years now with no success, we are so excited to finally take these next steps together into PARENTHOOD!
Oh man. I wasn't expecting to listen to something so profound today. Hearing that men can also go through anxiety probably puts into perspective what happened to me and my husband a month after our second baby was born. It was a bad situation and really hard to imagine how it came out of the blue. But your explanation makes so much sense. Thanks for your viewpoint in trying to understand my husband a bit better.
It's a cliche that becoming a parent changes you, but it's true. Laying the cards on the table, it is scary at first. Hell I was terrified. You feel like youre young and suddenly hitting the brakes on your life. This isn't true. Sure there's feeding, nappy changes and all manner of duties you go through, but it feels rewarding. Seriously. It's like things fall into place and you instictively just act. I now have a 10 year old daughter and I cannot imagine my life without her. Suddenly there is a mini you. She has dry comebacks and is into making animation. The love you feel cannot be described. Becoming a parent is life changing. I know in a few years she'll become a teenager and like myself and countless generations before me, she'll think I'm uncool and go out into the world, but she's MY daughter. No one can take that from me.
my daughter is now learning camera tricks and performance. My home videos are of her making things disappear and Vlogs. It's cute and you just wonder that you created that person. She isn't a baby crying anymore. She's a person with her own views and personality. Your heart melts. You change as a person.
Awesome video, man. You summed up all my sentiments. This is the first time I’ve seen someone talk about things I’ve been going through, thank you. I thought we were the only ones who kept a chore score...
Thank you for discussing breastfeeding vs formula. I exclusively pumped for 6 months because my baby wouldn't latch and it was anxiety inducing to say the least! It's not all black and white for sure.
Because my baby was born in the midst of the pandemic, I was never able to go to the ultra sounds or anything. I believe it really effected how I initially bonded with the baby. Now that the baby is out, I have never felt so emotional attached no another being in my life :))
I haven’t been to any appointments myself either. Just the 3D Ultrasound we paid for, and the one we chose was because it was one I was able to attend. My wife is being induced Wednesday and I’m allowed at the hospital! So beyond excited 😁😁😁
Wow this shit rules. I'm about to become a father any day now, and your approach to child-care advice is a breath of fresh air. Particularly your language surrounding breast feeding. I thought that formula feeding was completely normal until I entered the world of parenting, and now that i've been studying it i've been made to feel as though bottle feeding is something to be ashamed of. We need more messaging like this out in the world for new moms. Great job. I hate RUclips comments and you've compelled me to join the fray.
Thank you, so much. Great hearing modern advice from a modern guy. A lot of literature I found seemed to have this "go get em, sport" kinda undertone, that in 2024, just comes off as partonizing. Looking forward to the birth of my first~
Or junkies or alcoholics... not all mothers are good mothers. Wish society didn't just portray that all mothers are a caring, loving ,person. Some are straight trash
I love how honest and real your video are. Thank you for putting so much thoughts into the video you make. We are expecting our first baby this June and your video have been so helpful!
Hello, new dad here. My son is 3 months now and I couldn’t be happier. Many of the things you said makes so much sense I just want to say thank you for this video.
Thank you for everything that you say. Dads should get all the support and resources. Working as a team and just going with the flow will help the couple bond more over this new and exciting experience. Expectations, outside pressures and control fixation are not a good path to go.
@@traceunstoppable3311 It's been crazy haha! As soon as you get settled into a schedule the little one changes it up. About 85% of the time I could just cry she's so beautiful and amazing. The other 15% I think about getting in the car and driving off until I run out of gas then just start walking lol.
It's good to see a dad acknowledge formula shaming, especially since so much of lactivism can be rooted in internalized misogyny in the women going out of their way to shame formula feeding.
I LOVE THIS! My hubby and I are homeschooling parents to 5 children and have been married for 27 years. We've served as prayer counselors in our church since before we were married, and have continued to do so ever since. He is now a licensed mental health counselor, and I have chosen to assist families on the earlier side of their family experiences as a Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator. This video is real, it is practical, and it is SPOT ON! I'm always excited to find resources to share with my expecting couples, and I can't express enough how stoked I am to have found this! Thank you so much for posting!!
![How to Survive Labor & Child Birth [10 Tips for Dads]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RuK5fB5u5Cs/mqdefault.jpg)
Im 73 Father of two, step father of two, Grandfather of nine. Because we lost a son in law, I had to step in and be father figure to three of my grandkids. So I have some experience and one important piece of advice. There is a lot to worry about as a father, and you will make mistakes along the way. Figure out what's important to you, and try not to repeat the mistakes. This is not the advice I want to give. This is. You don't have to be the sharpest crayon in the box, you just have to be in the box. Do that and everything will work out. Good luck young men. This country needs good Dads.
👏 Indeed. We need responsible and thoughtful people to have children. Population dynamics is a fascinating study but also deeply troubling as things are going now.
"you dont have to be the sharpest crayon in the box, you just have to be in the box" - I almost cried. I'm about to become a dad and this msg really encouraged me. Thank you
@@whyrsvp Good I'm glad. The only other piece of advice that I will give you. Get down in to their world. Play on the floor with your kids, and grow up with them. You'll have a blast, and the bonds you are making will last longer than a life time.
@@whyrsvpsame here 🥹🤝🏽
Thanks I was a bit scared of becoming a father in December but I know that if I remember to breath and take it one day at a time
I really admire how so many men are choosing to engage with parenting in a way that's more involved and active than my dad's generation. With that change, though, we need to make sure there are resources and supports for dads, just like there are for moms. Thanks for helping to support that need!
Yeah for real. Every time I go to check ups with my daughter, my wife gets asked about her health as well but no questions for the dads. It’s pretty messed up.
Agreed. My dad was a part of that generation and his dad before him. I have some family that still lives like that, hopefully this leads to a better kind of man as our generations go on.
I would also say we are more involved because moms are working snd have different responsibilities now
We have to adjust and do our best to help the family
Agreed and well of course all of our dads no matter what want of all of us to do better like we want our kids to do better this generation is great so far imagine the future
Beautiful to see. But let’s appreciate what our fathers have done for us too and be grateful for they did the most with what they had and what they understood.
“Stress and guilt come from giving a damn.” Thank you.
It was actually "come from giving a s***" but I made a call to make it a little friendlier for the video. lol
Yeah that’s the one that has me crying to myself in the car after listening to this on my way home from work lol
My husband noticed that when we went to checkups they often asked me how I was doing, but they didn't direct questions or even really acknowledge his presence (!), it was almost kind of bizarre.... The health/support system for "parents" needs to try harder to welcome dad's and accept how involved today's dad's rly are.
Could not agree with you more. I'll never forget being told by the nurse "We feed the moms, we don't feed the dads!".
“Motherhood is instinctual and fatherhood is learned” as a first time mom who is the oldest of 6 kids I can assure you motherhood is learned, many,like me, are taught young
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Thank you, this is a lovely reminder
How come my ducks know how to raise young? They watched mom as babies? Instincts are beautiful, like a newborn crawling to breast. What about motherhood did you have to learn? Probably artificial or modern stuff right? Medical stuff I can see that as they are anatomically and metabolically different.
@@boulderingbadger6179 I mean, when I was younger I learned a lot of stuff about cleaning bottles and pumps because I was 7 years older than my siblings who were twins so there was a bunch of bottles. During pregnancy they talk a lot about how latching for breastfeeding isn’t as easy as a lot of people make it out to be and they focused on making sure the latch was solid literally first thing after birth. Babies make different cries for different things that are instinctual on the babies end, like more of a “na” sound when hungry and I learned about those through RUclips when I was pregnant just kinda making sure I was on top of stuff. A lot of motherhood so far for me has been baby doing baby things and I’m like “yeah I’ve seen this before” and my husband will say to me occasionally “I noticed or son does *thing* when he needs *blank* ” and I’m like oh yeah thought that was common knowledge my bad for not making sure he knew. Poor hubby having a rougher time than me because he was an only kid and I’m the oldest of 6. Like there’s definitely certain things that can be considered instincts cuz when baby cries you rush to help, even if you don’t know the slight differences to know what they need. But we know parenthood isn’t instinct because it’s pretty common for new parents to struggle because they straight up don’t know. It is interesting that other animals have better instincts for raising their young but they also don’t have a societal structure so species that any raise the next generation on instinct is gonna die out and leave behind those that can. Honestly, i feel like parenthood is the babies running on instinct and the parents running on fumes lmao
@@boulderingbadger6179 The knowledge doesn’t just get put into our heads the minute we pop a child out. By your analogy male children would also know how to parent. There are terrible parents all around us. Self Education is key and a basic for all new parents, mum or dad.
He’s so right about post partum, when my son max was born 6 months ago, I fell into a deep DEEP depression, I couldn’t eat, use them bathroom, sleep and I was borderline suicidal. It’s no joke, but 6 months later I’m an amazing father and I love him more than life. Dads, if you are feeling this way, talk to your family, talk to your girlfriend/wife you are NOT alone and a couple months later everything WILL be okay. And ladies too, it’s hard your hair will fall out, you will develope medical problems due to all these hormones and you may not bond right away, but you WILL stay strong everyone. We got this
Do you know where the depression comes from? Was it related to the child coming into your life and forcing you to change things? I'm just wondering for myself at 5 months pregnant because a lot of people talk about ppd like they just spontaneously get it... but I just want to know what risk factors are involved in making the depression worse. Is it poor relationship with the partner? Is it lack of sleep? Is it being in the dark about things to look out for your baby? There has to be a logical reason to this, not just hormones.
Hope you’re doing better ❤️
@@KatD56 I am man ❤️ my son is now 19 months old and I have a daughter that’s 6 months!! Everything gets better in time
Reading your comment helps me a lot. Im in my car crying because I cant cope with my 2 month baby. I love him so much but I hate the crying , I feel like punished trying to figure out whats going on at 3am while being shouted and screamed at.
I usted to be so full of laughter and smiling and now I just want to stay at work after hours just to not return to home. I feel horrible, like the worst dad ever.
@@chavin3how are you doing now? Hope you were able to work through that.
My son is 3-days old, still at the hospital figuring everything out. Thx for the encouragement and honest dad-chat. Super practical and helpful 🤘🏻
It's been some time, everything work out brother?
Yes sir! 2.5 already, and have a 7mo old also. Keep shedding dude!
@@soldbymarco Happiness and health for you and your family brother ❤
@@abrahamspies7611thanks bro! And now my daughter is almost one, son is almost three. Time flies. Thx again for your channel. Love your stuff.
my due date would be in October of this year shits crazy( my due date is my partners due date👍👍)
This is probably the most genuine video on parenting/fatherhood I've seen. Thanks.
Much appreciated Asya 🙌
My husband found this video on his own time, and shared it with me! I’m so glad this channel appealed to my big, gruff, USMC honey...It was really nice to know that he thought to search for new parenting videos while on his break at work. I think this channel hooked him, which I appreciate. Thank you for posting it; I agree with Asya; I thought it was very real and genuine also. 😊
idk why im watching this im not even a dad lol
@@dadverbhow old r u now since u had ur first kid
😭😭 finally!!! a MAN understand mom struggles!!! especially regarding breastfeeding and mental health. that part hit me hard. you got me crying because i'm so touched someone understood all my challenges. you have no idea how much that means when someone understands how much i've went through for my kids.
People don't realize how much work it takes to nurse. Far too few realize that it can be both a mental and physical feat of endurance. Based off of media representations, I thought it was an easy, basic thing. I was wrong. It's effing hard.
As a woman I think with breastfeeding all I wanted was for my husband to be there and help where he could. Know it’s exhausting and just help me with whatever, cleaning pump parts, baking me lactation cookies, lol just be an extra set of hands bc it takes over your life as a woman and every bit of help is appreciated. And to know after three months when an allergy made switching to formula better my husband saying this is the right decision don’t feel guilty...all I needed was to hear that from him. Can he breastfeed? No, but he can support me with the process emotionally and with logistics.
This. Spot on. Thank you. 🙌
Amen to that. As a new dad yassss be there with mom and support her be with her trying to make her laugh and give her to eat in there mouth is the best feeling. 👍
Best comment ever!
I'm a postpartum nurse and I am so sorry you felt guilt/pressure due to the challenges of breastfeeding from nurses. I always tell my patients that breastfeeding is great if it works for you. Nothing ever works by the book and a fed baby is the happiest baby! Not everyone can breastfeed or choose to and that's okay! I feel that prioritizing your mental health is just as important so it is totally okay to feed baby in whatever method fits your life (breastfeeding, pumping, formula). I hope more people, especially in healthcare, start to become more flexible with the nuances around breastfeeding/feeding and the challenges that come with it. I appreciate your channel and your honesty!
As health care professional, knowing full well the MASSIVE benefits that breast feeding bring why would you not advocate for it if it's a possibility?
@@Deltasoldier89 As a mother who couldn't breastfeed in the hospital and who had to watch my baby go hungry because the hospital was so obsessed with breastfeeding, I'm telling you to shu+ up.
With my second baby, we went to a hospital where I was not shamed for feeding our baby formula. The formula was available as soon as I realized I didn't have enough milk and asked for formula. Because of that, I didn't have to stay up all night trying to nurse a hungry baby with nonexistent breastmilk. This made all the difference. My second baby had a shorter hospital stay. I was less exhausted/depressed and better able to bond with my second baby
I am a new mom and I feel like this video is super helpful for all new parents out there. You are spot on with every single topic. People often forget that having a baby changes both moms and dads. While there are a lot of support groups out there for moms, there aren’t many for new dads. Dads need support too.
📠
Watching this at the hospital while we wait for our first born to arrive. Thanks for the insight
Welcome to fatherhood Gerardo!
hows it going so far!
Literally had my son come into the world 8 hours ago and your videos have really helped me and my wife get a general sense of what to expect. Thanks so much for the great content!
Congrats!
Congratulations!!
Omg, congratulations!! I’m so excited for you!
Wow, how did you find 22 minutes of time to watch a video just hours after your baby was born?! Haha. For us, it was weeks before there was that kind of free time.
How's your boy?
My girl is 3 month pregnant. First time dad. Pray for me
How did you do it
Same
Mines 5months in first time dad in the worlds poorest country
Your self awareness about baby trends, what you do as an influencer, while staying true to yourself and your family’s needs and being able to articulate that to your audience is impressive! My man and I learned a lot and it reminds us that it’s about balance in this crazy tech and social media world 🎉❤
My partner and I are having a son due 8th of Feb, it’s crazy how quickly everything is going and to think I’ll soon be a dad… but in saying that I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for anything in my life. There’s something about knowing this thing, that you created and that totally depends and relies on you to look after it and raise it is incredibly scary, but incredibly exciting to look forward to. I can’t wait to pour my heart and soul into my son and do everything I can to raise him to be a good man.
Update: wanted to come back and say he’s here! Born 31st January at 6:34 AM, weighing 3.3kgs. He’s 6 weeks old today. Couldn’t be happier with how everything has gone so far, although the lack of sleep is definitely getting to me a bit haha, but it’s all worth it.
Congratulations to you both! Our 5th is due March 13th 😊.
Yep, mine hopefully on the 30th January, to be a dad at 35 is something surreal because I've always wanted a child, my first marriage never worked now I'm married again and finally God will it goes well.
@@user-pn6sk9vb6n oh that’s so good man, congratulations and best of luck!
I’m happy that you are more excited about this than watching a football game
How you holding up? Any advice yet? Having my first around March 16th
Bouta Have My Baby Boy With My Shawty ! Definitely An Amazing Feeling & I Wanna Be The Best Father I Can Be, Really Feel Like My Generation Is Steppin In Up Being Alot More Active Than Before ! Lets Keep This Momentum Going For The Our Kids ! Peace & Love To All The Dads Out There Holdin It Down 🫡
A year later, how's it going being a dad??? Just brought my boy home TODAY 😊
I love that you pointed out that a dad is an integral part! Men feel things, they struggles, they get exhausted, they need support! Thank you. ✌️😊
Embrace it, enjoy it. We just lost ours, our first due in a few months and its devastating. We work hard, were ready and were so excited. Back to work a few hours after finding out, in a daze. However exhausting it may be, count your blessings
I'm about to become a dad for the first time. I'm scared I won't lie but I'm so ready to throw myself into every single aspect of it. I know its going to be tough but I'm just so excited to begin this journey!
As a new dad, I really appreciate your thorough reviews! Most of my time with RUclips reviews were on electronics, cars and other nonessentials and now this is so nice to see. Someone like you out there with advice and detailed honest reviews is very much appreciated! Keep up the great work, Dads out there appreciate it!
Thank you friend. My wife and I are expecting our first child August 2021. Your videos have eased some (of course not all) of my anxieties. I can't express how excited we are, but your advice really speaks to me.
To any dads watching this who didn't connect with their baby right away - we moms can experience that, too. I struggled to emotionally connect with my second daughter immediately after birth, and it made me feel like a horrible person. But eventually the bond happened and she and I are fine now. Hugs! You've got this!
I think this is a normal feeling for many people, a lot of people just don't have the courage to come out and say it, but the fact that you did and are aware enough to recognize this, says a lot about you. I bet your a great mother. Keep up the good work and God bless you!
New dad here (only 2 days). But man my emotions are all over the place. This video helped me a lot. Thank you
How is it now? My son will be here in 2 weeks
@@jesushelps Emotions are all stable now haha. Being a dad has changed my life for the better. It is the toughest thing i´ve ever done but also the best thing that ever happend to me. Wishing you all the best with your son! enjoy it!
@@BlueWhitePyrolate comment. But just had my boy a week ago and I’m struggling with severe anxiety mostly about him being safe and sleeping at night. Also feel guilt for doing things I enjoy while my wife has sleepless nights. Did you deal with this? And did it go away?
I've actually experienced being shamed and mocked for planning to breastfeed. Regardless of what you choose some people just feel entitled to pass judgement with no consideration of how that effects the person they're criticising.
Great point, it cuts both ways. No parent should feel shamed with either path they take. Other people's beliefs shouldn't dictate how you parent. If it's right for you, then it's right for you. You're amazing.
I honestly find this difficult to believe if I'm honest
@@EatTwinkies13 honestly?
@@stephenmartin2713 honestly. Never, ever, not once, ever heard of anybody getting ashamed for breast feeding over formula. Ever.
@@EatTwinkies13 well, in my cuban family my grandmothers perceived formula as what the wealthy upperclass could provide for their kids while breastfeeding is perceived as for poor people to have to resort to. It's very common in certain cultures.
Love this so much!! Dads are just as important as moms and there’s not enough help or understanding out in the world for the things that dads experience. Keep it up with the dad empowerment!!
Yes!! 🙌 Dad's are so crucial, it makes me so happy to see content like this.
Thank you for being so open and talking about something no one really talks about, glad I found your page when we were first expecting. My baby just made 6 months and knowing someone has gone through the same exact same thing helps a lot mentally.
As a soon to be dad and a young one at that, this has helped in a lot of ways that I can express, you worded things perfectly and really have helped me with understanding things I couldn’t have thought of by myself. Thank you!
We just had our 2nd baby and wow! It's waaayyy more challenging with a toddler to look after too... we're still trying to figure out how to make time for each other and how to make everything work. Great video, i needed to hear the last point about time and carving some time out to go and do things outside lol!
You're videos have been a life saver. My partner couldn't breastfeed and felt very guilty because of all the social media pressures. I supported her through the transition to formula (I was a formula baby and am fine) but she wouldn't hear my support. She actually needed to hear other people tell her that the stress from not being able to breast feed was a huge detriment to our family relationship and formula is ok. Again thank you I'm 40 years old and this is my first baby and he was totally unexpected and a complete gift from the universe.
I'm having my first child at 31 and I'm still freaking out but very happy and excited this helped alot for a first time dad making sure mom is good making sure baby is great and trying to maintain and balance yourself and your emotions this channel will be followed.
I’m in the exact same boat but I just turned 37. It’s going to be a bit crazy but we’ll get through it all just fine.
THANK YOU for bringing up the breastfeeding vs formula issue. I personally couldn’t breastfeed. Around 8 weeks postpartum we learned why and it was NOTHING I could have done to have changed my circumstances. I always felt the need to tell my story EVERY TIME someone asked how I was choosing to feed my child (in reality it is no one’s business) I should never have felt the need to explain our circumstances. Let’s normalize that FED is best, please. ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for reminding me... Many who formula feed (including us) felt like we needed to explain the reasoning behind why we did that to friends/family/nurses, etc. and then endure the judgmental look of disapproval afterward. The pressure to expound on that choice shouldn't exist.
It literally got exhausting telling every single damn person why I wasn’t breast feeding it makes new moms especially so depressed I’ve never been exhausted from depression so much in my life consistently telling them personal information just to get someone to understand my own circumstances
What was the reason you couldn't breastfeed?
Thank you for this video! My son is on his way in 4 months and to say im stressed out is an understatement and having a father lay the truth out really helps
New dad here - struggled with anxiety and depression for about 4 years since before our little guy was born - definitely feeling a comeback with both of those.
So thankful to have such a strong wife. But man, the guilt that I feel for feeling so low. The guilt i have that I feel like I should be doing more when I'm so extremely exhausted and down right sick to my stomach from the nerves is very overwhelming.
I cry, I'm not afraid to admit it. If I don't cry, I'll go nuts if I don't let some emotion out. I didn't think dads could feel symptoms like post partum depression.
Doctors at the hospital said to give it time, about 2 weeks, to see if these feelings start to subside. If not, to definitely seeking out counseling/therapy. I've done therapy in the past for different issues and I know it helps.
Fingers crossed 🤞 all this subsides because I know deep down inside I have so much love to give and know that I can be and will be a great dad/father.
Best of luck to any of you guys dealing with something similar!
💝You can do it. Give yourself some grace.
@@shondalesstudio thank you 🙏
Just stumbled on your page and im loving it. My wife and I had our first son a month ago. Everything you said was on the money. We’ll be tuning in to more of your content. Thank you!
I want you to know how much help this video has given me. We are 6 days postpartum and my wife is struggling with breastfeeding. Her depression and anxiety about this in conjunction with the pain from the cesarean is near crippling. I told me company I am taking another 4 weeks off because she needs me. I feel like she’s doing all the hard work and helping out around the house with our kids. Anyway, you’re videos are amazing and really helping me. Thank you 🙏
This was refreshing. Brand new dad here (1 week). I like how you talk about that its ok for us guys to open up about our feelings. I've been bottled up till I saw this video. You wanna be strong and tough but it's taxing.
Bottling isn’t an effective long term strategy bc what happens when bubbles are under pressure? 💥
Im 17 n my girl is pregnant. We was finna go the other route but we decided to keep it. Hella scared but we gonna step up 💯
its so important for men to know that they are also subject to postpartum depression and are at higher risk if they have a history of depression or the mom has PPD or a history of it.
Im want to be a lactation consultant RN so I can prevent women from feeling like failures if they cant breastfeed the way they want.
🙏🏼
In my early 20s and got thrown into parenthood unexpectedly.. this video was really reassuring to listen to. I definitely will take away a lot as I journey on through this unexpected but exciting chapter in my life!
Congrats! I am in the same shoes as of right now.
Same here brother 🙏 I pray and hope everything is going well for you! My women is currently being prepped to deliver the baby right now ❗️I’ll be a father soon, super excited & nervous lol
Investing in yourself is huge, honestly. There are so many tips/tricks we've picked up with our newborn that are game changers.
Had my son and he's 7 weeks old now, and I think the one thing that has helped both of my wife and I through all of it is Empathy. Empathy for each other, empathy for what the baby's needs are and if he's upset - imagine yourself in his shoes... he can't do anything for himself, you'd be crying and screaming too. Be empathetic first and foremost. Imagine if you never had to poop or physically eat and suddenly you have to. Imagine you didn't have to regulate your own body temperature and you suddenly things can be too hot or too cold and you can't do anything about it. Imagine growing so fast that it hurts and you suddenly have to just hope for soothing. Imagine being filthy below the belt and can't speak or clean yourself, possibly getting a UTI which now suddenly even peeing burns.
Honestly, being a baby is akin to some kind of sadistic SAW trap toned down to non-lethal levels. . . so be empathetic to your baby's needs and you'll find it a lot harder to get upset, frustrated, or anything besides goal-focused on making them as happy/healthy as possible any way possible. :)
Thanks so much for this video. We found out we will be parents after 7 months of being officially together but years of being friends. We have always been party people, haven’t saved as much as we could etc but since the news everything has changed. I have to admit, I am terrified but more excited than I have ever been. Thanks so much for this video, your break down of these 10 factors already makes sense and I feel has made me better prepared for the wonderful challenge ahead!
Tip 2 is painfully honest. Fortunately for me that feeling only lasted for the first 48 hours. My wife had to have an emergency c section and I didn’t have enough time to process. I remember when my son finally came out, I felt like he was a complete stranger and had no connection and my priority was to be at my wife’s side during the surgery. I remember my wife saying that if they take him out the room i better follow him and I didn’t want to at all because I thought she needed me more at her side. I felt ashamed because he was my son and helpless. Once the surgery was over and I knew my wife was gonna be okay and the baby was healthy I was able to let my guard and process my emotions. I remember holding him for the first time and just watching his facial expression as his eyes wandered processing what was going on. I can happily say I love my family and we have a great bond!
good for you on supporting your wife when she needed it
I just found out last week my gf and I are having a baby and I’m so thankful that there are resources like this to help expecting fathers through the entire process. Thank you so much for being there for all fathers
Sam here man, 2 months in
Bruuuh found out my gf a 7weeks a few days ago
@Thabiso Matlhwane howz it going?
We just had our first child yesterday and I’ve been watching your videos for a little while now. I appreciate you and your channel and everything you do! It really does help!
What you’re doing with these videos is extremely helpful and genuinely educational. Watched your vids before my son was born and after and I only continue to learn and progress as a father. You’re a good person and father for taking the time to really go in depth on these things while having your own life to live. Thank you for that!
I appreciate that. I'm trying and learning everyday and hope to keep sharing things I experience.
Thank you Brother! Appreciate the video, becoming a Dad today and can’t explain how excited I am to start this journey. Again thank you.
I think it is wonderful that you’ve made a channel dedicated to showing the fathers side of the journey to parenthood and also giving alittle insight to how stressful breastfeeding is on this video because it is. I honestly didn’t realize how hard it was going to be but thank you for the videos!
Yes on Scheduling sex!!! Right as you put the kids to bed, don't go on your phone to scroll on social media and "disconnect". Make it a point to get right into it and then do all the rest of the things us parents do during "happy hour" (the time between putting the kids to bed and going to bed). This is coming from a woman's perspective. We have different expectations and it's so important to communicate and arrange when sex is going to happen. That way you both know when it's going to happen and disappointment will be less. I recommend this to every newlywed I know and they all laugh at me and a year later come and tell me "yeah scheduling rocks!". You can still be spontaneous, but it does help take the guesswork from it all.
I love what you said about not getting on your phone to disconnect during the "happy hour" window (I've never heard that but now I'm stealing it!) It's so dang true. Scrolling through Insta kills the vibe and does nothing to bring us closer. Sure it's a way to decompress, but it rarely leads to any spontaneous fun. No phones until after sex!! 😝
Some of my buddies are thrill-seekers but not parents. I told them when they want the ultimate thrill have children. A father of two here and it's beautiful and scary and one hell of a ride! Good luck!
My wife wanted to breastfeed she was looking forward to it and couldn’t becuz the baby came a little early and she didn’t produce much milk and after the baby was born my wife was recovering and she had depression becuz she felt she wasn’t doing enough as a mother and I had to tell her you did enough already you gave me my daughter and joy once again rest and let me take care of you both until you’re ready , I hope more men see this and understand that we have to emotionally support our spouse and work as a team , I love my daughter from the instant she was born I believe patience is key
Dude thank you so much for making this video. We are expecting in just 8 weeks time and I really feel the need to get quality info, to make a good start, and I don't end up losing confidence in myself in this scary new stage of life, also being the most supportive husband possible is important. I want to be help not a hindrance and your video will help a lot of first time dad's I'm sure. You've confirmed some of my thoughts on sex-life changes, over-hyped/priced baby tech, which you don't really need and some great thoughts on feeding, stress and chores, which I wasn't aware of. Thanks again, and please keep the videos coming!!
i have to share this to 10 people. Cannot be more grateful for you input and transparency. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤
I've got a 2 week old, thank you for this. I'm trying my best to be the best dad that i can be, It's just a major change and it's hard to be strong while adjusting.
Nailed it. It's not just new dads, I'm on baby two and experiencing lots of these
Thanks for this. Your focus on mental health and keeping your marriage healthy is really refreshing. Love the self-care tips too. Keep it up!
I’m a new mom and I want to better understand my husband and how he felt when we had our first daughter. This video has helped me better understand a new dad’s perspective
Love seeing the dads perspective! Thank you so much for making these videos. It is so helpful to see what my husband might be feeling (especially when it’s something he might not want to share.) ❤️😊
Thanks for your insight. Much appreciated and I agree 100%. Our second child which is now 3 months old, we are having a difficult time with. Stress is the worst factor as me and my wife are also struggling personally and in our marriage. But we will make it through. All the best for all the mom and dads out there.
Hello, future mom here :D just came to learn more for my partner and to help him get through everything that's coming. Thank you for being so honest and letting us see another perspective. Dads are awesome
really love your transparency and humbleness, pretty rare on social media. keep it up, I'll keep watching.
Thank you man. I’m 22. Me and my girlfriend just found out she’s pregnant. We’re young, and I know the odds are against us, but we just couldn’t imagine an abortion. So we’re sticking it out. I’m terrified. Beyond terrified. But I know this is my responsibility, and I need to step up. Im slowly getting more and more excited. This was helpful.
You've got this my friends. Just remember to be kind to yourself and on yourselves
CONGRATULATIONS 🍾🎊🎉🎈
@@malorie-kaesteinmuller6810 @easylesrningtv thank you guys so much, and will do.
Possible first time dad here and this videos has really helped me calm down and realize that I can do this.
FACTS FACTS FACTS. We have a toddler turning 3 in June and another one coming mid-July. We're very excited to relive the cute newborn/baby stage BUT with another toddler over our shoulder, it will be very challenging. This video should be revisited every once in awhile to help recalibrate our mindset. Keep doing what you're doing. My wife and I love your content!
Edit: I wish I wore my first more. I will definitely not make that mistake again.
Dad of one week old here. I felt the feeding part. My wife is trying really hard to breastfeed but our dear baby just won't latch on. Even when she does she'd unlatch after 3 seconds. Sometimes she can sit for good 2 hours just to try to put the nipple in our baby's screaming mouth. Seeing her breakdown just breaks my heart.
Thank you for your wisdom!! First time Dad here in a couple months!
just showed this to my husband.❤❤❤ He appreciates it 😌. Thank you so much for bring some positivity in peoples lives.
Thank you for your honesty.
Hey man I’m a soon to be new father and have a month left, how you handle your videos is amazing for someone like me who had been stressing over a lot of things. I can’t wait to look at more videos and I thank you for taking the time to make these. Less scared now lol
Its great to see a new Dad educating himself and expressing himself with his new found knowledge!! Thank you!
I’m a new dad of 3 months now to a little girl, and almost everything you said here is on point. LITERALLY had some of the exact conversations you had with your wife, with mine just a couple days ago.
Communication is absolutely KEY to raising a baby, especially early on. The bit about you keeping a “chore score” is too real to me lol. Legit talked about that exact thing yesterday.
Great video tho. As a new parent, you hit on a lot of important scenarios that are all very factual
Yes they poop. Yes they cry. you become so busy. your time with movies, TV series, gaming will come to an end. But guys, The satisfaction of them falling sleep on your arms, When they give you their really really cute smile, start calling you "daddy", That worth more than anything. Once you get used to it, everything mentioned above will become less important.
I'm really glad you brought up the issues with nursing. My girlfriend and I are doing a mix of formula and breast milk but while we were in the postpartum unit at the hospital, the lactation consultants more or less told us to totally avoid formula. When the baby is crying and hungry and mom is so exhausted and wants to sleep, it makes me feel helpless. I would even sneak a bottle of formula at night to keep the baby fed and happy while the girlfriend was asleep. Finally, we met a doctor who told us that we're doing fine and to keep doing what we're doing, but if I do a bottle of formula, the girlfriend should still pump to keep her body conditioned. I just hate to think about how obsessively "natural" conscious our society has become that some moms and dads are skipping feedings because they aren't willing to top off or supplement with formula.
I know your comment us 2 years old, but for any other ew dads out there, always remember and feed baby is the best baby. It doesnt matter if it's breast milk or formula, the baby needs food and don't worry about others say
our baby is only a month old and the stress really got me. It actually got my anxiety kick in as well. I felt bad for myself, for my wife and my baby. It also got me to do bad things including bad mouthed some people. The stress really got me. This video helped me understand more what being a dad is like. Thank you
Hey man, everything is gonna be okay. First few week, or in your case first month is a pure survival mode.. I got my son 3 days ago, I'm overwhelmed but I'm keeping my cool. Just understand one.. He or she, is a a little copy of you. A piece of you, they are new to the world, scared, afraid.. They lived in a womb for 9 months, i mean.. I bet you and I weren't easy on our parents either. All I'm trying to say is that you gotta push thru, most important thing is that you are all healthy and safe. You'll see bro, it'll get easier.
This is great for mom and dad! As a mom I didn’t auto bond with BOTH of my kids. 1st kid till almost a year and on baby #2 now still on the way to the bond.
My husband watches your video and sends them to me. I’m 20 weeks and we are first time parents. Thank you making relevant content men and women can relate too!
Love this. It was my pleasure. Thanks for watching.
I came home from work yesterday at 3 pm, having a fairly normal day. My wife sat me down on the bed, and said, "close your eyes." (I thought she had gotten some sexy shirt or clothes or something)
She handed me two positive pregnancy tests.
After trying for around 3 or 4 years now with no success, we are so excited to finally take these next steps together into PARENTHOOD!
Oh man. I wasn't expecting to listen to something so profound today. Hearing that men can also go through anxiety probably puts into perspective what happened to me and my husband a month after our second baby was born. It was a bad situation and really hard to imagine how it came out of the blue. But your explanation makes so much sense. Thanks for your viewpoint in trying to understand my husband a bit better.
It's a cliche that becoming a parent changes you, but it's true. Laying the cards on the table, it is scary at first. Hell I was terrified. You feel like youre young and suddenly hitting the brakes on your life. This isn't true. Sure there's feeding, nappy changes and all manner of duties you go through, but it feels rewarding. Seriously. It's like things fall into place and you instictively just act.
I now have a 10 year old daughter and I cannot imagine my life without her. Suddenly there is a mini you. She has dry comebacks and is into making animation. The love you feel cannot be described. Becoming a parent is life changing. I know in a few years she'll become a teenager and like myself and countless generations before me, she'll think I'm uncool and go out into the world, but she's MY daughter. No one can take that from me.
my daughter is now learning camera tricks and performance. My home videos are of her making things disappear and Vlogs. It's cute and you just wonder that you created that person. She isn't a baby crying anymore. She's a person with her own views and personality. Your heart melts. You change as a person.
Awesome video, man. You summed up all my sentiments. This is the first time I’ve seen someone talk about things I’ve been going through, thank you. I thought we were the only ones who kept a chore score...
That dang chore score, haha. I admit, we still have a tendency to keep one in the back of my head. We need to cool it with that.
Got a 7 week old about to head into Leap 2, and I needed to hear this. I was just nodding my head the whole time. Thanks Andrew.
You're very welcome. You got this!
I'm a few days away from becoming a dad. Oh that mountain of stress... thanks for letting me know that I'm not on my own! You rock! 👊🏼
Thank you for discussing breastfeeding vs formula. I exclusively pumped for 6 months because my baby wouldn't latch and it was anxiety inducing to say the least! It's not all black and white for sure.
Because my baby was born in the midst of the pandemic, I was never able to go to the ultra sounds or anything. I believe it really effected how I initially bonded with the baby.
Now that the baby is out, I have never felt so emotional attached no another being in my life :))
This is so true! Waiting in the hospital parking lot just isn't the same.
I know how you feel, we ended up losing the baby but they tried to keep me from going to appointments with my wife.
I finally went to one this week. It was crazy
I haven’t been to any appointments myself either. Just the 3D Ultrasound we paid for, and the one we chose was because it was one I was able to attend. My wife is being induced Wednesday and I’m allowed at the hospital! So beyond excited 😁😁😁
@@tubbs803 my wife is 95 days out. Congrats and let me know if you faint lol
1. sleep
2. food/pumping
3. faith/bonding
In that order
Wow this shit rules. I'm about to become a father any day now, and your approach to child-care advice is a breath of fresh air. Particularly your language surrounding breast feeding. I thought that formula feeding was completely normal until I entered the world of parenting, and now that i've been studying it i've been made to feel as though bottle feeding is something to be ashamed of. We need more messaging like this out in the world for new moms. Great job. I hate RUclips comments and you've compelled me to join the fray.
Thank you, so much. Great hearing modern advice from a modern guy. A lot of literature I found seemed to have this "go get em, sport" kinda undertone, that in 2024, just comes off as partonizing. Looking forward to the birth of my first~
It’s my 4th day of being a Dad for the first time thanks for the video it really helps easing out things the go thru many new parents out there. 🙏🏼👍🏼
"Mothers are SUPERHEROES" well said my friend , well said
Or junkies or alcoholics... not all mothers are good mothers. Wish society didn't just portray that all mothers are a caring, loving ,person. Some are straight trash
@@outdoorsnevada4138 hope you heal brother
the thing about guilt was so spot on with me
I love how honest and real your video are. Thank you for putting so much thoughts into the video you make. We are expecting our first baby this June and your video have been so helpful!
Thank you for making this video. I’m a new father of twin girls. Just hit the 7 week mark before I found it. But I’m very very grateful for this.
The guilt I have for what I put my wife through is disabling. Super relieved to hear someone mention it
Hello, new dad here. My son is 3 months now and I couldn’t be happier. Many of the things you said makes so much sense I just want to say thank you for this video.
Thank you for everything that you say. Dads should get all the support and resources. Working as a team and just going with the flow will help the couple bond more over this new and exciting experience. Expectations, outside pressures and control fixation are not a good path to go.
My wife and I’s first is due next week, love your videos!
Wishing you and your wife all the best brother! It really is a beautiful thing!
How has it been going ?
@@traceunstoppable3311 It's been crazy haha! As soon as you get settled into a schedule the little one changes it up. About 85% of the time I could just cry she's so beautiful and amazing. The other 15% I think about getting in the car and driving off until I run out of gas then just start walking lol.
Been watching videos of being a new dad is what I’ve been doing just 2 days old and I’ve been watching everything I can to try and help me.
It's good to see a dad acknowledge formula shaming, especially since so much of lactivism can be rooted in internalized misogyny in the women going out of their way to shame formula feeding.
I LOVE THIS! My hubby and I are homeschooling parents to 5 children and have been married for 27 years. We've served as prayer counselors in our church since before we were married, and have continued to do so ever since. He is now a licensed mental health counselor, and I have chosen to assist families on the earlier side of their family experiences as a Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator. This video is real, it is practical, and it is SPOT ON! I'm always excited to find resources to share with my expecting couples, and I can't express enough how stoked I am to have found this! Thank you so much for posting!!