Polyvagal Theory: The 3 States of Anxiety in the Nervous System
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- Опубликовано: 22 май 2024
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Do you ever feel hopeless, shut down, or walled off? Or do you get triggered and feel anxious, angry, or agitated? There are essentially 3 states of your nervous system: Ventral Vagal (Safe and social) Sympathetic (Fight or Flight) and Dorsal Vagal (Shut Down). Most people aren’t able to identify which state they’re in, and then they feel helpless to change. This is especially difficult for people with trauma, which includes about ⅓ of the population. When you have trauma, your nervous system can get stuck in a hypervigilant state or a frozen, numb state.
And when you can identify the states of your nervous system, you can learn skills to spend more time in the safe and social state of your nervous system. You can retrain your nervous system to be healthier. One approach to learning how to feel safe in your body is the Polyvagal approach. It’s known as the science of feeling safe. The researchers and clinicians who developed polyvagal therapy have developed a system to help people learn to turn on that safe feeling in your body, so that you can feel more calm, have better relationships, and make better choices.
In this video you’re going to learn the three states that your nervous system can be in according to polyvagal theory. This will help you learn to identify what state you’re in and then use self-regulatory skills to shift your nervous system to a state of safety.
0:00 Introduction to trauma in the nervous system
2:18 What is polyvagal theory for treating trauma/childhood trauma?
5:54 Ventral vagal state
6:44 Sympathetic state
8:30 Dorsal vagal state
10:21 How to move up the ladder/somatic treatments for trauma
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In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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00:00 Introduction
02:16 Polyvagal Theory
03:57 The Vagus Nerve
05:36 The Polyvagal Ladder Metaphor
05:54 #1 Safe and Social - Ventral Vagal State
06:44 #2 Fight or Flight - Parasympathetic State
08:30 #3 Shutdown - Dorsal Vagal State -
10:21 Learning to Identify the three polyvagal states
Hey! Love this video! Just to say at 10:19 you say "ventral vagal" when I think you mean "dorsal vagal"
Yes! Thanks for catching that!!
even told twice. I'd love to be stuck in ventral mode! 😅
Oof same. Swift healing for you
It's hard to identify as I always in a state of anxiety some better than others but thank you I'd ove to meet you 🙏🇮🇪
What if you literally can't move and you are bedbound from a childhood neurological disease? What do people do who are in constant fight or flight mode and can't move? Thank you!
Thank you for breaking this down. As a teacher, I become overwhelmed when kids crowd around me with questions instead of raising their hands, I turn into a robot that powers down right in front of them for about twenty seconds, so they can see my “dorsal vagal” state. They always say, “Uh oh, she’s shut down.” They walk away and sit down and raise their hands. I also sometimes put on my chicken hat, and they also know that I’m getting overwhelmed. It makes me feel safe and helps me calm down. I wish it were socially acceptable to wear it in public. 😄
That's such great modeling!
Same for me. I tell my firsties not to chase me. I tell them I need space. My class this year is much better, but last year I had a complete breakdown from the interrupting, tattling, physical and verbal aggression and destruction of property. I had to be hyper-vigilant, and my nervous system just couldn’t deal anymore.
Maybe should’ve chosen a different profession. That’s what kids do.
@@janicetribbiani7535 No. Just no. No one including the children benefit from chaos. No teacher should be able to tolerate that. That is not how you meassure good teachers. It is on the adults (teachers AND parents) to teach the children how to wait their turn and lower their voices etc. Children should not be allowed to run wild. They need a peacefull classroom environment to learn and to thrive.
@@janicetribbiani7535 Tthat's what children do cos their parents think that teachers should tolerate every indecent behaviours of their kids, just like you here.
I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
💞PLEASE! For anyone who has experienced trauma and spent years or decades in the DORSAL STATE, do whatever it takes to break out--a vibrant reality is there for you, too, but only you can make it!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT, don't stop trying!!! Much love and courage to you, from someone who's been there. ❤️🙏💞
I honestly feel like deep down I'm shut down for long periods of time. Not all the time, but a few months on end. I can do my job (and well), but in my personal life, I socially isolate until something happens that confronts me with what I'm doing and how I may be hurting others. Then I feel terrible, sick, can't stop beating myself up, worrying about how we (myself and the person I may have hurt) will move past it, etc. And then I can't stop crying. I do struggle with depression and I'm on SSRIs, but even with that help, I still have a hard time. I used to be more socially connected, but since COVID I have really been shutting myself off from the world. It's hard to step out of it, to even sharing what's happening with someone I care about.
Just did 5 years in Catholic pergatory/dorsal state
Oh Lulu it’s ruined my life I wish I could get out. I was such a Vibrant beautiful person before.
@@whowearereally6494 you will find your way out I didn't think it was possible
How did you break out of the dorsal state, Lulu Moon? Any tips? Thanks.
I have ADHD, trauma and generalized anxiety. I also jump though and around these states very quickly. The trickiest and most frustrating part is when logic and my brain aren't cooperating in the moment of an anxiety attack.
I'll Pray for you 🙏
If I can give you, maybe not the best, but still an extremely important Advice.., Therapy & Healing from these things are always Routes that feel very uncomfortable.. We all know that! Believe me I went through a lot and healed, thank GOD from a lot .. And I learned a lot in that time. My immense interest in Psychology helped me sure out there but let me tell you something that could break the Ice of something you believe or have been told.. So youre even able to move on in your healing process in the first place: "General Anxiety" doesn't exist. Really. No BS. Therapists call it that way when they can't really identify where the anxiety comes from (the Root cause). I was diagnosed with the same thing when I was younger. I at some point changed my Shrink and landed with an extremely intelligent guy who knew his stuff and he helped me to identify my anxiety. Anxiety always comes from somewhere.. just ask yourself REALLY, what am I afraid of?? It will help! I wish you an amazing recovery and all the best.
I literally suffer from the same exact things. You are not alone. These things are the reason why I have insomnia, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest pain, restlessness, headaches, etc. my thoughts are negatively affecting me physically and it’s pure hell.
Literally. Same diagnosis’s as well
My twin and I went through narcissistic abuse. We both have complex ptsd. I go into sympathetic activation. Fight. She goes into the dorsal. Our narcissist guardian berated her and raged all the time and she shut down. I fought the narcissist when she raged at me and tried to protect my twin. We are definitely stuck in our survival States most of the time even years later after our abuse.
Awwww I am sorry to hear that, I hope you both find strength to continue your lives in happiness and purpose x
....man. that's me and my husband dealing with his mom, except I'm the dorsal one.
He grew up under that. I grew up with stressed out parents whose kids were nearly kidnapped by a nun. And I had the benefit of seeing what his brother went through at every major milestone. So I had time to research my strategy. All the good it did me when the shut down occured.
My sister and i also. My narcissistic mother recently died. It’s like being let out of solitary confinement. But I am going back to therapy because all those years just don’t undo themselves in one day. As happy as that day is. Anyone with a narcissist abuser will not judge me for that comment. Others will absolutely not understand. Because….you just can’t explain what narcissist abuse it like. You have to live through it to appreciate how bad it is. I wish you both peace. One day it will come.
@lizisler9415 I don't judge you at all. The cruelty from a narcissist is so cutting and so hellish. It's just hell. My narcissistic guardian laughed at me for crying when my best friend died in a car accident. She exorcised me of demons because I was "rebellious towards her and God" she didn't feed us. She weasled her way into my dad's will and stole our inheritance and then kicked me out of my childhood home for being rebellious. (I gently confronted her for not feeding us and confining us to the basement). All of this to say I do not judge you because I understand the true hell narc abuse is. You are totally right. I'm so sorry for your lost childhood. I'm so sorry for the immense pain and the betrayal you too have experienced. I wish you healing and the ability to create the fulfilled happy life you deserve.
@Ms. D thank you for your empathy ❤️ I've had 6 years of therapy. I'm pretty depressed. Last year I started having flashbacks and that's how I even realized I had ptsd. Got diagnosed and now gonna start emdr.
When the TV is on, but you are staring at the empty wall right next to it and don't know why.
This is hands down my favorite therapist on RUclips, I have suffered with anxiety since my mid 20s . Discovering therapy in a nutshell is truly a blessing. She has such genuine energy and her way of breaking down and explaining how to manage anxiety and body symptoms are so helpful . They are delivered in a calm soothing way. Thank you so much for this channel! And your great work !
your parents obviously didn’t nurture and love you how they were supposed to, hence the anxiety and not able to emotionally regulate
@@kirstieb8025 your parents obviously didn't nurture and love you how they were supposed to, hence the lack of social filter and inability to regulate your responses on RUclips.
These words are my exact sentiment! Thank God you are out there. And putting a much needed therapy, out for those in a desperate need to understand, and to form tools to overcome this inner sad absorption in our souls! You give clarity, and just a much needed understanding! I for one so need myself! 💛
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Does anyone know any good source to get them? I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels, would love to give shrooms a try.
Yes, dr.sporesss
Dr.sporesss is the best, he's been my go to for anything psychedelics.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
I have had chronic pain most of my adult life (I’m 55) and about 18 months ago I stumbled upon vagus nerve exercises on RUclips since then my pain has significantly decreased and my moods are much better. I also do Feldenkrais and Somatic yoga and daily 10 mins of Qi gong ( also from RUclips) to retrain my body to move more efficiently and hold less tension. The benefits have been quite noticeable , my posture and flexibility and ease of movement has changed alot and my depression levels are almost none . Good luck to everyone on your journey to recovery.
I recommend ‘ Accessing the healing power of the Vagus nerve’ by Stanley Rosenberg and ‘The body keeps the score ‘by Bessel Van Der Kolk .
@@ms8989 good luck with it - all the stretching in the world never seemed to help my pain much ( i did regular yoga for 10 years and got quite flexible but pain persisted) the somatic yoga is quite different and is more about retraining your nervous system and habitable movement patterns. I think in combination with doing vagus nerve exercises, it works really well and Im sure you will get a good result- the trick is to go very gently and use as little effort as possible. And then try and incorporate that into your daily life -you will really make some progress and be able lose that habitable tension that we all carry. Sukie Baxter has some nice RUclips videos for Vagus nerve exercises for reducing stress and anxiety- which work wonders . Essential Somatics or James Knight for Somatic Yoga . And Taro Iwamoto for Felenkrais - his videos literally changed my life and started me on this journey
Thank you for sharing what works for you! I'm going to check out the exercises for the Vagas nerve.
@@robertmic8601 Thank you for listing out all these resources!! Super helpful!
Thank you Robert for these recommendations
When I did an intensive yoga teacher training in the summer of 2019, before the pandemic, I learned how to be calm and zen on demand. Before that, I had suffered from depression and burn out several times and had done a lot of psychotherapy and personal development. But moving my body completely changed my life! I believe that it's one of the reasons I didn't go into panic mode when the whole world started shutting down a few months later. Since then, I've been able to change careers completely. I was working a 9 to 5pm office job before and now I work as a massage therapist and have never been happier. My financial situation improved, and I met the man of my dreams. All because I invested in myself and persevered. I am here to tell you that it's possible to heal. Moving was hands down a key factor in getting my life back 💜💜💜
This video is incredibly helpful! I am traumatized since childhood and have done several therapies, including trauma therapy. But nobody ever explained those three states to me. This is the first time in my life I am realizing that I literally never am in the safe and social state. No wonder my digestion isn't working since 25 years now. Sad no therapist ever explained that to me. 😢 but now I know. Thank you so much!
I am also constantly stuck I panic mode. It’s exhausting isn’t it?
you've just explained more to me in 14 minutes than 10 years of psychology has explained!
I was thinking the same thing!
Read. Your own reply about doing damage...what was your motivation for such a critical response...look inside
The classroom sometimes doesn't give enough of an emphasis on this.
Sameeeeeee cause wow
Dorsal vagal (sp) has got to be what I experienced when my mom passed away in 2017. Total shut down, she'd literally 1 tear, felt nothing, no hunger, no pain, nothing, went through week in a haze. Sank into major depression, anxiety attacks, insomnia 2 weeks later, and still recovering today.
I was the complete opposite when my beloved husband Gerald passed away last year. Crying everyday, not wanting to get off the couch where he would sleep. Insomnia, no appetite, losing weight from 310 to 245, etc. Lord please help me!😭😭😭
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know you can heal and be with him again! You might be interested in TRE, Tension and Trauma Release Exercises, and astral projection! Sending you lots of love and hugs :)
@@thelastcomputer4620 Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words. It was really needed right now and I appreciate your advice as well. I've heard of the trauma releasing exercises and will indeed add them to my daily routine. However, I'm curious about the astral projection.....🤔
@@venessatalbert9232 Of course! I read about astral projection in Robert A. Munroe's books, there's also other authors, forums, and videos on it too! I recommend Astral Club and Astral Doorway.
I have been to an integrative doctor then I saw a Life Time Wellness coach who also is a neuroscientist and she told me that my nervous system is in survival mode . It is horrible because you feel anxious, have fear , lack self worth or self esteem and depression . I listen to music and do sone meditation . Trauma in my life is the culprit . I wouldn’t wish it on a dog .
Me too
all negative thoughts about past, future or self is trash just throw it out ,,thoughts are not "real" most of it is just the weather of the mind .
@Tom WaterFooler meditation
Deficiencies can affect mental state and emotions. Most Americans have been mineral deficient for 10, 20, even 30 years...lack of adequate trace minerals and electrolytes can cause all sorts of symptoms associated with anxiety, etc. Research symptoms of magnesium deficiency, calcium deficiency's affect on the. NErvous system, any B vitamin def...most of us don't each a nourishing diet.. we we're raised on fruit loops and hamburger helper and ricearoni... Trauma takes it's toll on the body and mind in so many ways....replenishing trace minerals takes time. Start today
@@PowerofClarity This has been helping me 👍🏻 (and soothing music)
😮 I’ve felt like I’ve lost ability to feel empathy, figured I’d burnt out those emotions. I’m in the dorsal state! 😯
Emma, your presentation is like talking to a friend in the same room, very approachable and comfortable to listen to. Your choice of topics, explanations and presentations are brilliant.
Thank you
Yes!!! I thought the same thing! I haven’t actually cried in years. I thought I just stopped caring or even feel emotions! I’m in the dorsal at state too! Best of luck to you! I know it’s a tough place to be at times
I thought the same as you. But, recently, I wasn't able to get a prescription renewed for my Zoloft 100mg and stopped taking it for 3 weeks. I have been on it for about 10 years. During those 3 weeks, I felt empathy turn on like a tap, and I would tear up at the slightest thing. So sure enough, once I started on the meds again, no tears! 🤷♀️
Many people who had a lousy night's sleep could find themselves in the Dorsal vagal state without realizing it! Good sleep will take you up to, at least the sympathetic stage. Check out if lack of sleep is wrecking your day.
I studied psychology for eight years and taught fight, flight, and freeze, but never truly understood it until I experienced it myself. I also knew that abused women could experience PTSD, but didn't understand this could happen 20 years after getting away from an abuser if abused again. This too, unfortunately, came from personal experience. Recognizing all the red flags, I never remarried, but the (narcissistic) abuser is my sister. Cutting ties with her was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Recognizing what I was dealing with, however, is what enabled the healing process to begin.
I’m so glad you found your path to healing 🙏🏻
I woke from a bad anxiety session yesterday. I thought I would feel better today , felt triggered and angry right out of the gate. The hopeless, helpless feeling kicked in and I started to feel depressed. This video popped on my feed. It couldn't have come at a better time. I'll just have to keep my head up and stay hopeful. Thank you for doing this.
The ability to do things when it that state will make you stronger in the long term if you can overcome it.
Sara H:Staying hopeful is hardest when the struggle is downhill.
14:34 Somehow I stumbled across this video. I’m in tears because I’ve wanted an answer as to why I’ve had these ‘shut down’ moments my whole life. What stops me. What keeps me from feeling free instead of feeling the frozen. Unable to move or think clearly. Now that I have this info, I’ll pursue my situation with a better direction. Thank you, thank you for this presentation.
How does it transfer to reality?
Cool Jackie. 😊
I recommend checking out the book The Body Keeps the Score, I think it could be very helpful foe you to make sense of the "shut down" experience 🤍
@@lilelly16 I read that book. I'm not a huge fan. The practitioner got most of his experience working with male soldiers with PTSD. I got the sense that if you didn't have very similar PTSD, his insights might not be that transferable.
I find the shut down state the difficult to recognize because my brain goes on auto pilot to defend me. I just respond to the world around me and expecting any kind of 'rational thought' is an absolute lost cause. These defences stop the moment someone engages with me on an emotional level. Being expected to 'stop being angry' or be pushed to 'express these feelings' is again, not something that works for me. Last week my therapist tried to push me into the 'calm down mode' and let me tell you something.
I calm down around people the moment I hear that my emotion is validated and that I dont have to act on what I feel. That's it. That is the only thing I need of someone else. The moment my body is going into melt down mode, the only thing that really works are yin yoga poses and a reduction of stimili. Sunglasses work fantastic in that case.
Otherwise I just remain angry.
My favorite pose while journaling is to sit with my knees up (with my legs like a triangle) and let my journal rest on my knees. There I feel the most secure to write down my inner thoughts. The posture feels incredibly safe.
Thank you this! It's very helpful, interesting, and I'm thinking of trying sunglasses 😎 my goto relief is breathing and pray🙏yeah I breath in nose slow 4 seconds next exhale nose repeat until relaxing
Thank you Emma, I’m a combat veteran with severe PTST
You help me so much. Thank you for putting this on RUclips. I have no other social media platforms other than RUclips. You’re Awesome!!!
Thx for your service. I am so sorry u r struggling. Please know that there r so so many of us that appreciate ur sacrifice. I pray u find relief 🙏🏼
Thank you for serving our country! Wishing you much healing and the strength. You will never forget those troubling times, but may you learn new strategies to cope and connect with society. Also hoping you have a strong support system. ❤️
To @Tod Thomas. My therapist is certified in Accelerated Resolution Therapy. We have addressed two traumas, one from age 12 and one from when I was about 62. These traumas were making healing of my depression and anxiety impossible, because I was always sad about these horrible events. My mind was fixated on these events as well as the circumstances and time frames around them. I cried every day, every time I saw a photo or heard a story at all similar. ART is not easy. I have been fortunate that each of these traumas were resolved in one session each. ART is one of the “Alternative to Therapies” specifically developed and tested with veterans who did not respond to standard therapies or drugs. My psychiatrist said that I must have had courage to do the ART as it isn’t all pleasant, but if it works, it is so freeing. I could feel weight lift off of my shoulders, I looked in a mirror and my face looked different, I could smile again. If you can find a therapist who is certified in ART, EMDR or Brainspotting, please give at least one of these a try. You do not have to be condemned with PTSD forever. In addition, here in Jacksonville, FL, we have a very strong program where dogs are trained to help veterans with PTSD. There are probably similar programs in many places. If you have a VA counselor who is truly helpful, that person can guide you to one or more of these types of therapies.
Tod, you are a hero! This battle can take longer, but you will be victorious. I am so very proud of you!
Check out the ptsd workbook by Mary d Williams third edition. It’s been slow going but very useful for me to process my trauma in the comfort and privacy of my own home. If you work in the book directly you can use colored study tabs to warn yourself about triggering topics you wrote about before. It’s difficult to move on, but having the knowledge that an accurate account of my “side” absent gaslighting exists helps me move around in the world without feeling like I need to desperately go over the fragmented memories or they will all fade and I can never find answers when I’m ready to face them.
This is so confronting. It also makes me feel sad, because IV been in these states for a long time. Due to family trauma and then domestic violence.
My sympathetic nervous system has been a pain in my ass since I was about 8 lol. I’m 42 and made good progress over the years and shared information like this helps. I started meditating and I’m finding it really helps to go to a peaceful place at different points in the day. I’m trying to process my anger more effectively. I think it’s going to help.
I can't believe how absolutely timely this video is ... I'm in CPTSD recovery with a therapist due to 24-year marriage of narcissistic abuse - and dealing with hypervigilance. Your video is a fabulous supplement to help my understanding of what's going on within me!! You explained it very well! Thank you very much for your knowledge and for sharing it so willingly to help others.
I'm currently in the same situation but after 10 years. My locked in state has caused me to develop Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as my nervous system has become so severely dysregulated. I hope you the best on your healing journey.
@@AntonyJS It's so sad what we have suffered at the hands of people who deliberately wanted to destroy us. But we survived! I wish you much health and happiness!
Everyone thinks everyone's a narcissis now..
@@AntonyJS In my experience, that fatigue that you are feeling is likely your brain trying to shut you down in the process of "keeping you safe". This is generally why when people have this condition they feel worse and MORE fatigued when they feel more stressed. I work with many people who have this condition. Hope this helps! It directly connects to polyvagal and the video above.
@@botezsimp5808 Yeah, most of us didn't know what narcissists are until a few years ago.
I've been in the sympathetic vagal nerve response since early childhood, I am over 60 years old now. It has been miserable living in this continuous state of fight or flight all these years!
Growing up in a very emotionally unstable, dysfunctional, abusive family ALWAYS kept me in a constant "fight or flight" hyper vigilant mode, because you NEVER felt safe! My nervous system was ALWAYS preparing and on the lookout for the next bad thing to happen.
Eventually, (after years in this hyper state of vigilance) I developed a large pituitary tumor. Recent research is showing a connection between early childhood trauma and pituitary tumors developing later in life. I truly believe this is the cause of my pituitary tumor.
It makes sense that being in a constant hyper vigilant state would play havoc with your hormones... especially your cortisol levels. I believe this is why my pituitary tumor developed.I believe all those years of high levels of stress cortisol caused my pituitary tumor.
The tumor has now left me with three serious chronic illness that I will have to take medication for the rest of my life. These three illnesses really lower my quality of life greatly.
Yet, I still am trapped in this same life long state of "fight or flight"!
I would LOVE to be able to get out of this hyper vigilant state.
It is no fun being in it and it is very draining physically and emotionally.
Hopefully some of these videos can help.
I would like a good therapist, but have a hard time trying to find one. Either I cannot afford their charges or they are not taking any new clients. Also, if I try for financial assistance they say that I don't qualify as our household income is over the limit of assistance.
Sometimes it can be hard for someone who needs one, to find a therapist.
But, I will really try to learn from these videos.
It's all very interesting about these three states of vagal response.
I am learning ...
Good luck to you dear. We're in this together!
Ditto😢
You are a survivor!! Thank you for sharing your experience 🤗
@@whatsitallabout2901 Thank you for your kind words...I'm sure there are many like me still struggling, even into later life, from childhood trauma.
It is a terrible thing that can have life long consequences.
But, I appreciate your kind words!💕
I also experienced severe childhood trauma and developed a tumor in my mid 20s. There is a huge correlation between adverse childhood experiences and chronic illness in adults. I wish I could create a support group for people who’ve gone through life-threatening illnesses due to abuse. Stay strong. You are not alone 💖
I didn't know it at the time, but I think my nervous system was co-regulating when I was teaching the parents/guardians of my baby swim class to go underwater. I figured out that if I was calm and sent those vibes out, the babies would feel it. And they didn't cry when they finally went underwater for the first time! It was an amazing experience
This is great. I recently started working to fix my vagus nerve. But I also have dysautonomia which is nervous system dysregulation at the core. I'm constantly in mild fight or flight and if I'm triggered I'm stuck in a high panic super high vigilance state for 3 DAYS. I'm hoping the vagal nerve exercises can fix that too. Also the nervous system co-regulation sounds a lot like being an empath with no boundaries.
Yoga seems to be one of the most helpful things for my BPD & it’s co-morbid little friends. This video kinda seems to explain why. I also have a pretty bad relationship with my body so it’s a good way for be to be kind to it. When I feel too depressed and exhausted to do yoga is when I know I need to do it the most lol
For many years I have seeked out a therapist to help me with anxiety that triggers pain. I have not been successful they simply tell me to go to a psychiatrist for medication. Simply because I can express myself and what upsets me so clearly. I find your programs extremely helpful and insightful I have learned more watching your RUclips channels then all the different counselors that I have encountered in my area! Thank you for doing these videos.
I have this as well. The biggest help for me was learning that it was actually anxiety causing the pain. Interestingly, tapering off of anxiety meds is what started the anxiety/pain. It’s such a strange experience and difficult to find help. Somatic therapy may be helpful for you.
I'm so grateful I clicked on this video. This perfectly describes what I've been feeling for the past 5 years. I've been stuck in the parasympathetic & dorsal vagal stages these past 5 years & now I finally know what's going on, I have answers, I know I'm not alone. Thank you so much. Now I know how I can fix everything, this is the "light bulb" experience I needed to push me to full recovery. I'm so beyond grateful that I saw this video.
I'm nearly 70 years old. I had some terribly frightening things happen to me in my childhood. Then when I was 35 years old my 28 year old husband was killed by a drunk driver. I am always in a state of hyper-arrousal so I drink a lot of alcohol. I was on benzodiazepene for about 35 years. Then when the opoid crisis happened about a decade ago, doctors here in Canada had to wean their patients off these meds. A decade later I still feel like I'm in hell wirhout that medication.
Have you considered your next steps? I looking for ideas. Thinking about nutrition, meditation or freeing trapped emotions thru The Emotion Code. Law of Attraction work for anyone?
@@jlockwood65 I currently live in a transitional living house for senior women. The meals are prepared for us here. Bland food but nothing fried, so that's a plus. I have no control over my diet. I have some physucal health issues. I think I'm too depressed to figure out what to do. I haven't had a doctor in nearly a decade (Here in Canada nearly 20% of Canadians don't have a family doctor) so we have to go to walk-in clinics. Anyway, I"ll figute something out...
Have you thought of writing about the frightening things that happened to you as a child in a safe coffee shop or restaurant, one incident at time and then going home and meditation on how your life turned despite the trauma? I did. It's healthy to leave those things on paper so you don't have to keep it in your head.
@@dawnemile7499 Hi Dawn. No, I don't think that is the right route for me. I pray to God for emotiomal healing and peace.
I think my response was overly dramatic because of an incident on Monday that left me feeling very disappointed.
@@jlockwood65 These things work for mild cases. Her case is extreme. Meditation and diet dont cut it (trust me, am a total health freak and am still a deeply broken person).
Never felt safe or connected, not as an infant, toddler, child, youth, or adult. Definitely appreciate learning how to recognize and dial down the other 2 states though. Thanks.
😔 same
@@kreskin0079 It's hard. Hang in there. I have found a measure of joy and connection with nature and God's creatures, since I can't with other people. I hope for peace and goodness for you ❤👍.
@regular-joe your comment brought tears to my eyes. I hope you have restful sleep tonight
I love how you talked about using our own bodies to help soothe someone else's anxiety. I was a foster parent who also adopted 8 of my kids whose parents rights had been terminated. I got really good at soothing traumatized children. I got down to their level, and told them that "they were safe, they were wanted, and they were loved. That they would be able to visit with their parent/s soon. It really did the trick. Works really good on animals too. Several of my adopted kids also possess this amazing quality. Thank you so much for your therapy! My kids are adults now, but many still struggling from the narcissistic X husband of mine. Now they have grown up with a father figure who taught them they had to earn his love. 2 are fathers themselves, who I am still trying to redirect to behave as a giving, sharing, teaching, and playing, instead of selfishlessly coming home screaming every night. I told both my daughters in law to keep a mirror by the entry, and show them the way they look when they come in raging. Baby Steps forward.
Love the mirror idea
Kim, my kids recently were taken from me by my adoptive parents. We still have parental rights, but part of my trauma and stress recently is the absence of my kids. They won't let me talk to them until the 11th. This video helped alot. I would love to get good at soothing traumatized people, including myself. You have such a big heart. I am upset at my parents for filing for custody at all. But I guess I should let go of my selfish desires. They had the money to sue, I didn't have enough to fight them. Staying near them in poverty would continue the fights between my partner and I. So we moved after they filed for custody. That was illegal. They came to us at our hotel, forced our door open without paperwork and said those kids arnt yours anymore. I wish I could block it out. I wish I could stop talking about it. Stop reliving it. I don't want to be just a parent on a zoom call . A digital relationship, I want to hold them.they rely on being held. Soothed. I miss being needed. I am lost. I am trying to garden , take care of two new baby chick's, pretending their chirps are for ," apple juice, please mama".... It was all my fault. I don't have my babies. I sing my lullaby to the quiet of the night. Hoping they feel my love for them somewhere.
I'm watching this and something is hitting home here.i have fibromyalgia and I'm not functioning well.but I know in my heart there is a reason I'm like this.i can't relax for over 20 years.its like I live in a state of anxiety.it affects my heart rate my energy..my digestion..and more.i have had many traumatic situations like losing my husband to a fatal disease at a young age.that started it.im going to subscribe because I need to learn about this..
I know this is a late response, but I have hEDS so I understand your fibro pain big time. I am in such a better state now that I acknowledged the problems of being in an anxiety state.
Some things that helped me:
First, a therapist that understands our chronic pain state and how that FEEDS into our mental problems.
Second: laying on your bed/ground and taking three, really big slow breaths to calm myself down.
Third: Telling myself "you're okay, you're safe" and naming the reasons why. For example, "you're in your room, this soft bed, your fav stuffed toy, you aren't anywhere near your crazy ex, you're safe". It sound super stupid, I know, but our thoughts and our chronic pain work together to make our bodies be in an ever HIGHER state of anxiety.
Fourth: I like to focus and seek out all the small, little things in life. Oh look! I nice flower growing in the sidewalk crack. Look at that cloud! The puddles are so reflective. MMM I love this coffee. These focuses keep you out of a dark place and add postive safe mental feelings that lower your anxiety from the pain.
I hope some of this helps! Good luck internet stranger, healing is tough but all of life is tough, so might as well try to do something good for yourself.
You have no idea how much your videos have blessed me. I've been on a journey of healing my trauma, that happened 16 years ago, and this week thanks to you I've heard things like 'somatic', 'vagus nerve', trauma is in your nervous system and others. I strongly believe this is the missing piece. Thank you! And you're doing this with 4 kids and for free for us on yt! God bless you Emma❤
My fight wich I was in forever switched to flight two months ago. It was hell and panic, I slowly start to understand my body and how to work with it. And honestly, you play a huge role in this. You are so important to me and I can’t even put in words how grateful I am for you.
I'm glad you mentioned "getting moving". My wife and I do an hour or two of online Qigong and Tai Chi every single morning, from 8 to 10 AM, and it makes all the difference in the world as far as mood, optimism, stability, and vitality. It really is rather astounding. It also primes you to open your horizons - my wife, for instance, has been listening to videos of the late Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh, and she was surprised at how often this very spiritual teacher brings his listeners' attention back to the body. Which reminds me of a word rather foreign to many Americans: discipline. When I say we do Qigong and Tai Chi every single morning, I mean every single morning. I think it's very similar to the morning meditation and chanting of Buddhist monks: it's just something you do every day, like brushing your teeth, and that something helps keep you feeling clean and well-regulated.
Yes! I don't hit the gym daily but about every other day I do and you can really tell the difference. As a teen I was put on some meds for mood. Now I just see a therapist to work on past crap and get a good workout in. Whenever I tell people my age to try working out they just say how depressed they are and how diet and the gym won't work. They don't even give it a fair shake. It's like they take it as an insult. For me going 3-4x a week in easy enough to stick to without taking up my time to get things done. I can actually stick to it. So even if people just give it a good effort 3x a week and make sure there vitamin D levels are right (doctor blood work) and limit junk food they will notice a difference. It's about healing the past while helping the body. Nothing much better than a sweaty workout or feeling that healthy sore feeling the next day to feel accomplished!
@@ralfwashington1502 Ralf, both my wife and I are in our mid-70's. Without our daily workouts, we would soon turn into lumps. With the workouts, we stay young in body as well as heart. Plus, we work out with the same group of practitioners every day, so it helps with the social aspect, too. What's not to like?
@@malcolmdean2303 that's awesome and I hope to continue till I die. There are some guys that must be in there 70s that are always at the gym and yup no walker or cane. Like you said also they also have a group they get to chat with in the locker room. It's when you stop that things really go down hill.
@@ralfwashington1502 Exactly. Move it or lose it. Keep moving!
Animals often shake it off after a stress response of being chased for their lives, like a system reset. Humans need to learn this technique too
Boy, I’m going to have to listen again, and take some notes this time. It’s a lot to unpack and understand. I’m 65, and just starting to process my trauma, and how it’s affecting me over my lifetime. I think I’ve kind of been in “bandaid therapy” most of my life, but now that I’m retired and have more time to focus on the hard stuff…..man, sh**t’s getting real (hard). Your videos are so helpful, and so many of them are relevant to the things I go through. I had my therapist look at some of the videos I’ve watched, and she was very impressed!
No the information its self is not enough, knowing it intellectually is not enough in fact the information is useless although it's the first stage, it's the application of the information that is important, to do that you need to switch your awareness from intellectual to feeling and becoming connected to your body, you cant do that in words or thought
This is the most understandable breakdown of how the vagus nerve works. I've been trying to understand this through the work of other researchers and therapists, but no one has been able to map out the different states so clearly like this video did. Having a better understanding of anatomy/physiology really goes a long way to demystify what I've been going through my whole life. Much thanks!
The way Emma explains complex things calms me down a lot. It's hard to believe that the force isn't with Emma. ;)
So THAT'S why therapists always sound so calm and soothing!
at least a half dozen seizures later i was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope not epilepsy. i have no doubt prior trauma triggered this response, a vulnerability i still carry but can now shortcut when the symptoms kick in. stress really has deeply toxic depths to it. 🙏
Thank you. I definitely recognize myself there. Being on the lowest for a long time, since childhood. Nowdays it tends to shift between all three. Less and less the worst, sometimes the middle and sometimes even the healthy and hopeful feeling when Im at the top of the ladders. +1 Start moving, people!
I can't believe I've found this video "randomly". I was wondering about my reactions which have changed over past two-three years. Why I am so happy and normal when I'm not with him...and why I can find instant relive in music, walks and running. Thank you so much.
I feel safe and social when I'm at my job as an early childhood teacher and almost all the kids are down for nap or when me and other caregivers are interacting positively and playing with the kids.
Your video couldn't be anymore of perfect timing! I just came back from my walk, I've been dealing with anxiety, depression and body shocks and pains from so many different things. I call my pains musical pains, cuz it jumps from my shoulder blades, to chest/breast area, hands, feet, stomach everywhere. Im sitting here crying cuz nothing helps the pains anymore, rice bags, Tylenol, motrin, exercise, eating good, rest/sleep, pain creams. Nothing. I feel so lost and helpless. My doctor also dismisses my pains, she says there is nothing there and I'm making it up. Its awful 😔
That sounds terrible. I'm sorry you are going through this. Please accept this virtual hug. ((❤❤❤❤❤❤)) I pray you find relief.
@@trusound170 thank you so much! Its not fun, but my kids definitely help me pull myself out everyday.
@@natalieruby7934 can I help you with anxiety please!
Hi Natalie have you looked into Fibromyalgia
@@natalieruby7934 I can relate! My kids are a God send as well! It could be anxiety that triggers these pains. Dr. Caroline Leaf has a very good book called "Cleaning UP Your Mental Mess" that really brings a lot of understanding between our mental and emotional states and things that happen in the body. It's worth checking out.
You help so many people with these videos. God bless you and thank you for your work.
I've experienced the dorsal state even as a child and many times as an adult from dealing with childhood trauma and abuse. Thank you this informative video! I have been working hard on my journey to healing, and this is helpful!
All I can say is a big and heartfelt thank you.. You hit the head on the nail on what I’ve been experiencing for the last almost 50 years.. Now I can finally begin to work through it.. ❤
My therapist has sent me links to several of your videos. Thanks to him for that and thanks to you for your ability to so clearly communicate about mental health challenges. Your calm and positive demeanor leads me to be in a calm state and more able to listen.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Emma! My son is fighting chronic depression - this Dorsal Vagal explanation really helps me as his Mum to understand how stuck he is. I just couldn't understand his inaction - thanks to you I now get it. And now I have a better way to respond to him and support him. Thank you . ❤
I have no idea how this video ended up in my playlist. I absolutely must have touched the screen and selected it while listening, in bed, in the dark, to tarot readers.
But as you talked, and I was drifting off to sleep, your words about the dorsal ventral state started waking me up as I realized you were putting a name to a state I’ve lived in for decades.
I don’t want to elaborate but I do thank you for the lesson. I will be relistening again tomorrow so I can fully digest it.
You are an amazing therapist, seriously you are amazing. I FOUND your channel on Saturday after I had a panic attack . I have been listening to you a lot since then. Thank you.
Thank you so much for all of your videos. They have been a lifesaver for me. You have a great way of calming my nervous system down and I have learned so much from you! Thank you again for all you do! ❤️
It's 2:30am. I had a really upsetting last few days and that messed with my sleep.
Just listening to your soothing voice is helping my hyper alert brain to calm down.
Thank you for the work you do!
Thank you for explaining everything and in the manner that you showed such compassion
I just wanna thank you for being who you are! You truly care about us and your smile lifts my spirits
I like how more research is being conducted on our mental states, to empirically prove that mental health is JUST as important as more observable issues within the body. Thank you for your channel it helps me so much!
I'm commenting because I want to do more to spread this video than liking it publicly and sharing it personally. I shared it with my survivor-led domestic violence support group asking whether they'd like to discuss this in our next meeting. So helpful!
Wow! I’ve come through my own trauma healing over the past year, and worked out how to use polyvagal therapy without knowing what it was! So cool to find that people have researched it. Can’t wait to learn more. Thanks for this! Love your work.
I was on my computer researching PVT and here you are. Right on the money. You are awesome. ❤
You made this so easy to digest and learn about. Thank you so much!
Such a great video! You always explain things so well :)
Thank you for everything you do and all that you are. Your videos are like light house on a foggy morning directing ships safely. The fact , details and processes connected with me and are making a big impact.
Thank you thank you.
I experienced trauma at the workplace and lost my health as an outcome. I am definitely stuck in the dorsal vagal state. Your video is super helpful! I learned something so important and it’s what I am suffering from and no doctor has explained this to me.
I feel like I lost ability to communicate with people. Before and during the pandemic I worked at home with my son full time. Stepping into motherhood and working at the time wasn’t easy. I barely left my home in those 5 years and I feel like a ton of trauma and bitterness is coming out. Resentment even towards my spouse and even my child though it’s not even his fault. I feel burned out . Now people don’t even wanna talk to me or say I’m always combative . I’m so lost ! Trauma is so scary and so is isolation. It’s scary what stress and trauma can do to a person
I see you. I feel like i've not come out of lockdown and thanks to Emma in this vid now recognise I exist between total shutdown and perpetual fight/flight response .... i need to feel safe and calm.
Holy smokes. This is needed. I do tend to do the frozen state a lot. It's like I feel myself go inward. Like, an implosion of sorts. It actually feels like I an slinking back into a big bush like in that Homer Simpson meme. I do go the extreme other way at times as well. I never gave a lot of thought to either because they feel like involuntary reflexes.
What triggers these different states in me? For the shut down state I feel this way when I sense hostility, yelling anger etc... When I feel the hyperarousal it is usually when say.... something is happening that Is out of my comfort zone. Someone moved the eggs to a different place, an app update brought a change I don't like, or when I feel like someone is trying to make me feel like they are somehow better than me. I rarely feel connected. Though after panic attacks or any extreme state I feel very needy. Which makes me reach out to the wrong people in the wrong ways.
You’re words are always so helpful. I always wonder if anyone else has any issues because of the music in the background of your videos? Maybe it’s my ADHD or my CPTSD but sometimes I have to turn your videos off because I can’t focus on your words because of the distraction in the background.
I really enjoy everything you say, and I appreciate all of your wise words. ❤
I found your videos while in full blown fight or flight. Your pointers helped pull me out of it within minutes. Id been panicking for hours. Thank you so much ❤
I learn many new things from this video and i realized now why my body tend to shutdown or feel more anxious or numb whenever im around certain people (including family member) or situation. Please make more videos on this topic like how to overcome it etc. I wld love to know more from u. Thank you so much Emma. Helpful as always.❤️
I like the mention that this therapist uses body language to pair with her client's nervous system to help them feel safe and calm. As someone who has done therapy over the phone, over video, and in person this strategy definitely works! Especially in person.
I want to clarify, by saying I've done therapy I mean I was the client!
I love the video. Thank you so much! In fact i feel it that you are regulating my system, you have a very calming tone ❤ most of the people on the net feel over activating for me, but your tone and that of Irene Lyon’s work very well❤ amazing work that you are doing xx
This made me get goosebumps. So even your video because the way your making eye contact helps to feel safe. And your confident. Thank you
All great info today--and GLIMMERS, yes! Appreciated that tidbit. Important to remember we receive positive signals, too. Feel fortunate to have a yoga instructor who is also a therapist and well-versed in this theory. I've learned so much about self-regulation.
Thanks!
You're messages are a Godsend. Thank you!
Your face had lighten up when talking about the birth of your fourth baby, it was so cute! So much happiness!!
I am definitely glad I chose to watch this. I have felt stuck in the last few months trying to understand myself, especially related to my anxiety and where its coming from. Trying to see if its from my childhood, early adulthood, in relation to certain people/ personalities, situations.. it all seems unimportant in the moment more frustrating than anything. I get a job and know within a day up to 6 months whether I will stay in it or leave due to different circumstances I determine are worth it. Some jobs I have had had presented higher than normal stress events that caused me to make the decision to choose flight over fight. And now its become a regulating thing in my life.
Or
Her hair looks incredible styled like that
Thank you so much for your help, you really make a big difference in my life and others too. I now understand and am able to spot the emotional state Im in. I had 3 experiences in the 3 levels. Have a blessed year! And thank you so much🙏🏻
Thank you so much. You put things clearly and simply, and bring about understanding. Looking forward to exploring your library
Am I the only one who plays all these videos as I fall asleep?? It's like informative asmr 😍💛💛💛🧡🧡🧡🧡 Thank you
thank you for this video, especially because we really need a new thinking about our existential problems. The old thinking is just not working. I’m better now that its too late. I wish I found people like you decades ago.
I grew up with significant amounts of child abuse, and I definitely think that learning to shut down helped save me from some of the worst of my trauma. De-personalization and de-realization make some of my worst abuse into fuzzy memories that have a lot less power over me than the abuse that happened before I was able to shut down my emotions.
I’m in a safe place now and have been for years. I’ve been learning how to unpack my trauma and heal from it. It’s been slow but steady progress, but I’m able to feel safe most of the time now. Ten years ago, I was hyper-vigilant most of the time, and I felt like I was pretending to be safe and social.
You are absolutely wonderful. You approach is warm and friendly and your information is easy to understand (I have been taking notes!! :). and helps me understand from a physiological point of view what is wrong and how I can help myself. Thank you
I have had trauma as a child but have always felt disconnected from it. Now i am 53. Approx 5 yrs ago starting having anxiety. Last 2 yrs my anxiety has caused me to be “ glued to the bed”. Cant move even though i knew it would be best if i did. Now i know i am not weird. There may be a name for this. Thx so much. Going to further explore this ❤️
Be nice to yourself. I’m dealing with the same stuff. But realising that the mind is extremely powerful, I started to make progress.
It’s actually proven by science that if you imagine you’re working out, your body will react to it, even being able to make muscle growth. This made me realise that I should start imagining myself as a person free of anxiety. Someone that is motivated and unstoppable.
And truly, in a while your body is going to believe it too and it will be your reality ❤️
I didn’t know irritability is connected to the nervous system wow! My former therapist gave me an intro to anxiety and the nervous system and this really complements and expands what she shared with me. Thank you!!
I just stumbled across your videos today & am super grateful to have found them. Thank you for sharing your knowledge in a way that makes sense. I appreciate your service. God bless.
Great video. Thank you. What you said about getting the feelings from someone else is so true. I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and my husband started having anxiety. Wierd
As soon as we come out we're traumatized.
It was beautiful, safe and warm in that quiet place.
Doctor's use to slap babies, bright lights, strange people, noise, taking you away from your mommy.
That's scary. 😢
Thank you for this post.
As a Black Woman in America, I know I have PTSD.
Yeah... She said something like 30% of people are traumatized... I think that number is WAY higher. Margenalized groups are traumatized by the colonizers, and by eachother when their community is filled with lead (by the colonizers), and the children of the colonizers are often traumatized by their parents. ✋
As well, children are margenalized, belittled, gaslit, and traumatized by my people's sick, narcissistically enabling culture, i.e. the birthing practices you mentioned, the whole "they're too young to remember the pain" idea, and the all-too common practice of gaslighting about anything... inconvenient.
I do Wish This Science is Taught in Grade School Health &/or Biology Class.
Truly Think it Could Help So Many.
This is so needed. Love your hair and make up!
I am so grateful for your videos! Your personality is also extremely comforting. I really appreciate you taking the time to teach us.🙏🌹
I don’t think I’ve ever been in that ‘safe’ mode.
Love how you present information. Totally wish you could learn about those damaged by anti anxiety meds and the challenges faced when the nervous system has been injured. I think you could really be helpful to those individuals.
Always helpful hard to listen in part I play the whole session. Emma is so good in delivering and driving the point home.
Fabulous presentation and terrific delivery. Enjoyed it so much. 🙌🏽
Emma, your hair is so cute when curly!
I am constantly in the nervous/anxious state no matter what. Just going into a crowded room of people I get nervous
I would trust my personal growth via therapy to you in a heartbeat. I love your content.