When my ex hovered me 3 months ago when he was in town, I did all 5. Must have worked, as I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve been no contact 9 months, and I pray he NEVER comes back!
The best way to deal with a narcissist is DON'T Just leave them alone and DON'T tolerate their nonsense DON'T give them any power over you DON'T fall for their crap DON'T be their victim DON'T return their phone calls or texts DON'T associate with them DON'T acknowledge them DON'T react to their nonsense, just yawn 🥱 and act bored 😴 when they start trying to get under your skin DON'T think you have to measure up to anyone's expectations of you except the person looking back at you in the mirror And finally DON'T TOLERATE THEM PERIOD Just stay away from them
@@yugisharma4256 We all have to grow up eventually and get our own places as soon as we are able to get a JOB, go away to College far from home or join the Military. We should always try and honor and respect our parents but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate their bullshit for the rest of your life . I joined the Navy and I got to travel all around this great big World 🌎🌍 and see places and do things most people only dream about seeing and doing. It was the best decision I ever made in my life and I have no regrets about leaving home I grew up faster and more than I thought possible I thought I was already a grown man until I finished Boot Camp and realized just how wrong I was It was an amazing experience for me and everyone else that has ever served in the military You learn more about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses and your limitations, you learn teamwork and the importance of working with others to achieve a common goal There is NO I in team But never ever forget to take care of yourself first because if you don't you are no good to anyone else or yourself period Good Luck,God Bless You And Keep Your Head Held High And Keep Looking Up
@@bryanwilliams8010 ¡Amen! I had to take care of myself and one of my younger sisters, from the age of six, help her with his homework, see that he was doing well at school. Also at the age of 17 I started working.
I am waiting for the day that narcisssist(dad) says "you are just like your mother." Ultimate compliment. She divorced him when I was eleven. He made me pay for that all my life. I am 59 now.
Number 3 is spot on for me. I could never understand why it seemed he liked it when I was extremely upset or angry. Being emotional only serves them. Being aware is half the battle, self control the other.
I love when Danish says rise above like a phoenix 😂 I will use that message I disregarded the malignant narcissistic husband the abuse and cheating was too much he had to go so i got rid of him divorce is next I need to be free completely of that demon I was married too God is on my side 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
YES 💯 FACTS. The narcissist will say we are insecure and have low self-esteem when actually The narcissist is extremely insecure and jealous of the person they are trying to control. The narcissist self esteem is microscopic. When they cannot control your view of them they fall into deep narcissistic injury.
This is 100% correct. I have a lifetime of experience with narcissist family. You must learn to be a cold technician in order to outwit the narc. You must learn to NOT act on your emotions, because that will sink you if you’re involved with a narcissist.
Don’t give narcissist the same energy. There is no way to beat them at their own game. They can go into narcissist rage and that can be very dangerous and make you a target. Just walk away and initiate no contact. Move forward and begin healing
@@maytruthprevail4668 They are monsters BUT the “heart” in them is control. When I dumped my Narc several years ago I did it with no emotion, I was polite and wished him well. He lost his mind, crying, lying, behaving like I had run over his dog. I held my ground and kept going forward. He had already met another supply giver but he still freaked out. It would be 7 years before he stopped trying to contact me. Was it love? NOPE, did he miss me?? NOPE. I had broken his control, his addiction and he couldn’t handle it.
@@yathome5596 That's true, they are all control freaks, and hate to lose ground. Good for you, walking away and staying out of harm's way, despite the attempts to hoover.
@@yathome5596 I was friends with a psychotic narcissistic banshee who did me wrong several times but had to cut her lose she was draining my energy very manipulative, and always always crying like a baby telling her melodramatic life she always did this just to pull people to feel sorry for her plus she loved throwing people under the bus like wtf!!! Thank God I cut ties with her she is trash and I swept her out of my life.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
But you do want to be your best and have your best life, right? And that will break his heart. So, whether you want to or not, it will. You'd have to stay where you are and not live your life. Now, THAT would not break the narcissist's heart. Would you rather not break they're heart or would you rather live your best life? I know you were basically saying that you were not out to hurt them, but just threw out there what it would mean to actually try not break their heart.
Darling you can’t break their hearts. Narcissists did not feel love the way normal people do. You are a source of supply like a grocery store or gas station, only difference is you give the supply they need for free. Leave them because the only one who will end up with a broken heart IS YOU!
Narcissist = No Empathy! Run, don’t walk. Fear is false expectations appearing real. When you feel fear, slow down and ask yourself if your fear is true or false. Fear shuts down your rational mind. In moments of fear, once you identify that you are afraid. Stop yourself, slow down, wait for your mind to turn back on, then ask yourself if your fear is justified or false. I had to use this method when learning to drive a tractor trailer. I’ve taught it to all my teammates. It works for me.
This video is exceptional in showing all the ways a narcissist will try to control you and how to forgive yourself for not seeing everything when it is happening. Once you establish who they are, do not have anything to do with these damaged people ever again.
What I would say to anyone who knows a person who is narcissist, is to just stay away from them. I live with a narcissist aunt, my grandma and mom passed away because of her verbal abuse. We all know that words hurt more than anything else.
When your Confident and have accepted your flaws and love yourself truly they will physically abuse you to the point you don’t look like yourself anymore and then find that your insecurities are creeping back up 😢
Yes, thank you! This is such an important message to get out! My mother is borderline and covert narcissistic. The guilt I felt growing up was enormous and I was not allowed to develop the ability to advocate for myself until I left home. Keep up your wonderful work and encouraging others! Many of us who have been through this still need reminded on occasion that it was not us. It couldn't have been as a child, but I could not have known that. It takes a lot of countering to outweigh that much brain washing. Now I am helping others who are in mentally and emotionally abusive situations to take the power back into their lives. This video is so spot on and helpful in both educating and helping to heal. Thank you.
Narcissist projections are confessions. This is so very true for my case. Listen to this one! I realized after the fact that all the things I kept having to reassure him where not going to happen over and over again where confessions. And then things he accused me of he was guilty of. If you have doubt, it might be projection.
Excellent points It’s helping your advice NARC will do all the chores and make it look like he is very kind , helpful . But narcs Moves are very calculated It is like chess game. When they raise their voice They want us react and By justification we get emotionally drained and Physically it is effected One has to learn not react at all But we are all humans At some point we will react That is the food for the day They are happy They wait for next meal.
Wonderful to hear someone also talk about the wounds that need healed in order to sever the ties with narcissists. Awareness is so useful, but the knowledge to affect beneficial change is even more so. Thank you
Isn't it so sad.. that we can so easily contemplate how to break the hearts they don't have. Absolutely they have brought it on themselves with their cruelty and heartless nastiness. It is ourselves that have to educate/strategise to regain our autonomy again. I have followed true the process, actually going zero contact before I knew to do so. The education has given me such peace and pleasure back.
Thank you so much Danish. You were the one who made me realize what I was going through. Having clarity at that moment was more than I could wish. Sincerely grateful
My husband, the absolute narc, made it to where i have to depend on him - took 5 years and 15k in the whole...not him, ME. He took my car and left me with two small babies. I lost it one day, went absolutely nuts on him. You would have thought i was possessed by a demon the way i behaved. It led me to become educated into what was really going on. Just a few more weeks and i am free. Wont say my plan but oh my does it feel good knowing i dont have to call and ask for things...i will be free and never looking back!! I have grown so much during the last 5 years. I really am grateful for all the torment and heartbreak - i am strong and growing stronger daily.❤ Thank you Danish! ❤❤
Understanding seems to be vital to healing. When I thought he might be a narcissist, I was strong in no contact. When I read his "kindness" as not being a narcissist, I wanted to run back home. He is not belittling, disparaging, critical, etc. But, oh God, he is so utterly cruel under that mask of a "good old boy." Someone-thanks!-suggested that I look into covert-not overt-narcissism. He is horribly mean and spiteful. He brought crushing pain into my life, even as he was shining with purity and righteousness. He was always thoughtful, caring and kind, even when he was crushing the heart out of me. He was vicious but he never said an ugly word to me. He never hit me. But under his good old boy self, he made me feel empty, alone and somehow just plain wrong, not enough, not good enough. Maybe not everyone does, but I need to have at least a modicum of understanding so that I can accept whatever responsibility is mine and Go Forward with dignity and grace, so that I can hold my head up and Go Forward with self-respect and dignity. Under the smiles and laughter, under the kindness and caring, he stole myself from me, made me empty. And you know what? I still miss him...
@@kathie6585 ah, there's the rub. I'm feeling so many things, most of them conflicting! I don't want to be judgmental or unfair. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's horrible. Thanks. And I'm not going back.
This sounds like covert narcissism. These types of people leave you drained, tired, confused, exhausted, and sad, because there are less overtly destructive and hatefully jealous behaviors. And I know how you feel about longing for the "good" side of them. You miss the person who romanced you and cared about you and made you laugh. I feel covert narcissists are more likely to see their partners as an idealized source of supply; they expect their partners to always be there for them, say the right things, enable or ignore their self-destructive behaviors and coping mechanisms, and ease all their sorrows. Unlike malignant narcissists, they are usually more likely to be transparent about how lowly they think of themselves or how they see themselves as victims, but thank God you came into their life when they needed it the most. You feel like a hero. In the end, you realize that all the wonderful things they did and said and how they heroized you were just bait to get you to be their supply. For you to put their needs before you own, to be their sidekick, not their true equal. And when you express your needs and try to boundaries, that's when things can go south very quickly.
A couple of a years ago I developed a good friendship with somebody. We both had some trauma and we were really nice to each other. The last time we spoke he complimented me like hell and said "I love you (my name)" I started laughing because I couldn't deal well with emotions back then, so saying something like that back to them was hard. Plus I didn't know what context he meant it in as he is bi. I now find out that a few years after not speaking, he has been acting very narcissistic. Always mentioning toxicity, love bombing others, following half naked models on instragram despite being with someone, posting and deleting images on instragram after an argument, obsessed with their appearance, hot and cold attitude etc. I guess I had a lucky escape. Do you think he was trying to get my attention 24/7 because I am a kind hearted person?
Yes , Put myself first, shine like a chosen one. Can’t face the truth, they may have to change. Detaching emotions is hard, they hurt you so much try to brainwash you. Absolutely p, not who he say I am.
Danish you’re the BEST!! I love your straightforward, speaking and answers. Everything is very clear and I love your sense of humor. Thank you so much for dedicating yourself to this horrid type of person. I wish you were around for my first marriage of this but here you are in my second one so that’s a OK, I am just blessed for people like you nothing out at all about this way back then God bless you! 😊
Good job, Darnish Avoiding a narcissist is determination, they are very manipulative, avoiding them you Must break all ties with them and be assertive on avoiding contact or communication, they are broken peeps going about with garbage , seeking victims to pour it on 😢
I had to change my number to escape my narcissistic father’s clutches! He called me while I was at the gym every afternoon to stop me from working out. I went to see him for my birthday. After staying away for twenty years, I always talked to him by phone. I was narc free for two years, but I went back last February. Now, I’m free from him for life. Thanks for sharing this amazing video!😊❤
Yes know that God loves you and you are a worthy person.❤ Go no contact with the Narcissist best thing you can do. Then Praise and love God!!! Worship God and forget about them.❤✝️🙏
Thank you very much for this vedio. Now I am in a state of taking firm decision to walk away from him along with my children. All are in their early twenties. We all decided to leave him since last month and we are searching for a rental house to shift . I had a thought of telling him that he can come and visit , but after hearing this vedio , I decided not to let him in our house.
I think there's some excellent advice in this video. It's crucial that we love and value ourselves so that we are not easy prey for narcissists. However, I personally don't want to set out to break anyone's heart. I still want to be a compassionate, empathic person. As far as I'm aware, narcissists aren't born that way. It's trauma, abuse and neglect that creates this person, therefore a degree of understanding (at a safe distance) should be applied imo. Also, being in a place of wanting to break someone's heart, suggests anger and a lack of forgiveness. These emotions hurt us as much if not more than the narcissist. Just my thoughts 🙏
Someone with a Cluster B personality will have their heart broken once you stop being a doormat and improve yourself. Once you prove that you care about yourself, they will hate it, because they don't care about themselves. It reaches deep down into their insecurities of never feeling good enough without external validation. What a sad way to live. I have empathy for people like that, but no longer to the point where I give up myself to help them heal.
U r a good teacher ,it is sad when some is so inocent and pure at heart .u suffer for many many years till some one shed light on .therd is lot to say about this kind of sicknes but let evdry body hear from proffdtional like u .thank u so .ucb .
I am suffering so many year and this vidio say thise think I sclef understand and applying now it late to know your channel but I am happy it's helps others
An interesting video. Consider that the narcissist chose you because they admire the qualities that you have and might like to possess some of those qualities themselves. They test you to see how you would react as a ‘normal’ person. If you were to respond as ‘you’ then they would learn something by copying your behaviour and responses. Imo
Thank you sir for giving valuable information. My dad is a narcissist and I have been suffering since 10 years. I came to know about his personality from your channel. Please let me know whether these narcissists are born by birth or do they gain this ego knowledge from other sources. Thank you
I’ve watched other vids that say that they are born without empathy. I finally figured out that my parents are narcissists. My dad has had his family keep their distance for as long as I’ve known him. Now I know why.
You can when u surround yourself with positive and loving people thats my shield and I also surround myself with people who would get right with him his smears dont work on me.
Be your own best friend! Do what you would advise your best friend to do in a similar situation and most importantly, don't beat yourself up about what you could've done to avoid that situation. Comfort and support yourself the way you would a good friend. Works every time, even for fcukups, which is my usual gaffe!
I am always told that I will end up on the corner of the street without him because I live under his roof, he looks after me and he pays my medical aid. I am so broken down I don't see light at the end of the tunnel.
When it you daughter it's hard to leave. She found the ultimate revenge she left me instead. Although it is a relief I still mourn what might have been.
Maybe what we need more is: 5 Ways to Heal a Narcissist's Heart. We do have to realize that someone did the horrible same to create/cause one as a child to become a narcissist. I do agree with you on the self love, self worth knowing - that benefits all people bc it is their strength that no one should be giving away, nor losing self in a connection with anyone. That is the positive frequency you want to be on, not the negative one that makes one emit and attract, not just a narcissist, but all things negative that one would not want. If anyone finds their selves bombarded with all neg. hitting them,, asking self "why is this crap happening to me?" No need to wonder, you're on the neg vibration. The ONLY way off of it is: self love, self care, know your worth, set your boundaries high and focus on your own arena - you, your duties and responsibilities. Don't worry about what others are doing, saying, buying, etc. NONE of it matters, hold the focus on your own. Be NO ONE'S mat. Treat yourself like gold bc the level of love,care and respect YOU HOLD FOR YOURSELF, is the VERY SAME LEVEL YOU'LL BE RECEIVING from another. That higher self mode of operation is also where all things abundant are found - no where else. Neg energies of self ir from others will DRAIN you of your time, effort, money, even your health. It's like Limerence and you can LOSE it all. People get depressed, and that can lead to suicide IF you lose all sense of self worth. So, my long message is to say, "DON'T EVER PUT YOURSELF LAST." Fill your own cup with love, care, respect FIRST, you cannot ever expect another to fill it for you bc it comes frim within. That is where happiness is found. Then what you emit will attract the right frequency match. You don't have to seek it, it finds you. Save yourself, you kind if have to. It is your responsibility. The harsh lessons for NOT tending to self are severe consequences so that you will never lose sight of yourself again. IT is NOT God trying to smack you down, He may be trying to wake you up. You have to realize this: IT was by your own doing, your own choice that brought you to wherever you find yourself. That might be the hardest part to digest. So, take your power back (tou do have it) and never lose it again. Namaste 🙏🌎💫💖
I've lost weight since all my hassles. Not eating. Feel sick. He's trying the hoover tactic on me. It's made worse because he's my next door neighbour.... Couldn't have been a worse situation to be in. He's away for a few days. I had the locks changed. This was after I watched him on my doorbell cam trying to get into my house! I predict and expect he will either ignore me completely Or he will start love bombing me. It won't work. Omg never known anything like it. I fell for it hook line and sinker.
This is great work. Please keep this channel going. Thank you for this very educational presentation. I find your work supportive and a relief from a great amount of anxiety. Thank you.
I can't have strong boundaries cos my husband opens the portal with his narc family cos he genuinely wants to be involved with them. That leaves me and my husband arguing and disagreeing all the time with no decision being made. I say I won't have it and I won't go. And he says he's going and wants me there. No conclusion is ever made. I told him we should just have a divorce and he won't even agree on that.
You cant break something that doesnt exist... by intentionally breaking anybodys heart is no better than what narcholes do. Keeping you down on their level and dimming your light. Just as the narchole wants. I say stop giving them what they want. Instead give yourself what you need 💚
Wow it's a miracle I'm alive he would abuse me while he was accusing me of taking from him until I was so drained of any life in me. It was Nobody but who allow me to come into knowledge of a Narcissist. I cried and cried of relief
We can all be guilty of have Narcissistic traits doesn’t mean they have NPD I would like to see you make a video that does not try to harm someone else. Please make a video on how to respond to toxic behaviors in a healthy manner.
Sadly, not reacting after nearly 18 years with my husband made him go over the deep end and become dangerous as he tried daily, weekly and constantly to get me to be the passive, scared woman he trained to beg for his forgiveness when he did or said things. He went from verbal and emotional abuse to physical. I think that is truly bad advice to try to show these people they are no longer in control and own the person they are with like an animal. When he realized I had stepped out of the cage he kept me in, I believe he would have eventually killed me since he lost control of himself so violently.
I really appreciate this video! I was in a 4 year relationship with a narcissist before I finally ended the relationship. He did not break me down EVER it was always constant praise constantly telling me how good I look how sexy I was etc. Then he would get jealous if other men looked at me which I thought was his insecurity. He would beg to spend time with me when I just needed a break from his lies. Said he would do anything to move in with me, marry me, wanted to have a child with me etc. I don’t understand how does someone become a narcissist? Is it damage their parents did to them when they were young? He told me he loved me all the time only ever wanted to be with me, he never wanted to leave my side. Wanted to do everything with me 100% of the time but yet when I needed space he would constantly text and call, falsely accuse me of where I was and why I needed alone time. It’s been a few years since I ended the relationship and have found out that the times I told him I didn’t want to spend time with him he was with someone else. Oh and I forgot to mention the entire four years we were together he was married…which I never knew. When I found out that’s when I ended the relationship. He promised he would get a divorce and marry me, would do anything I wanted, would go to counseling to heal our relationship/problems. He truly played the game of seeming like he loved me but now I recognize he was a narcissist. It’s still crazy because I still feel like I love him and the connection we had because the time we spent together was great, we had a lot of fun etc. But I still don’t understand how does someone become a narcissist?
No, now that I realize he is a narcissist. Even though I truly loved him and we had a connection like I’ve never had with anyone else, I know a narcissist won’t change. I’m not going to give him the power to manipulate me, lie to me, and drain me anymore. He is still married to his second wife, the one he was married to while we were dating, and I pray he’s happy and that he doesn’t hurt anyone else (including her) by cheating on her with other women and the way he hurt me. He truly broke my heart. I am healing from his toxic narcissistic abuse so I can fully give myself to a new man. I’m a very good woman: trustworthy, loyal, honest, and many other traits that a truly good loving and loyal man will appreciate. He however does not deserve me now that I realize he is a narcissist. I’m not going to waste anymore of my time waiting for him to change, to be better, to be truthful and trustworthy.
Last week my 31 year's old son sobbed in my arms. He said "she makes me feel guilty for no reason, I tip toe around her and I lose my energy putting up a fake happy face,but she loves, when I'm upset she takes care of me". They have 2 kids. HOW CAN I TELL HIM SHE'S A NARCISST WITHOUT DAMAGING THE MARRIAGE?
Hmmmm. 1. He never tried to do such ))) was passive-aggressive comments like , you are not eating well, you look so stressed , what I was seeing as an “advice” still replied to him , look at yourself. Or he tried such kind of absurd things that I have kids and never married , what I also replied WHO SAID I want to marry ? 2. Never was putting me down and I didn’t give a damn about his approval. 3. Yes I was not BYING any gaslighting and was shouting like mad , but i swear I didn’t know who is he . And nobody believed him when he talked I am a psycho. 4. He didn’t blame me , BUT as a protective mechanism, he was saying but I did this this and this ( 25 years ago ) . 5. Boundaries also was built when i involved police , though he never ever did something against the law . Look dear , the way you talk here as if every person is with him in a relationship is a stupid idiot that has no boundaries and has no mouth ? the covert narcissists are not recognized that easy . is a grandiose is easy to see . I was not understanding what is going on for long time . i was thinking the person is having mood swings 😂 I have high self esteem and nobody can gaslight me . But yes I was using control on his provocations and the one was telling him to go . Difficult to see red flags till I realized that the mood swings was splitting . I wondered what kind of memory loose he is having , and he was really having , you know what I mean. out of this 5 , only one i didn’t do what was not keeping calm . If I knew what is going on I would have keep calm and cut it right away .
Thanks for advise, been married forever 23 years now. But get told daily what a bad person I am was though all of our years together. To point anymore has me believing that he is right have never been good wife, mother,or just a good person. I try to obey all time but I'm always not doing anything right. Easy to get in married but almost Impossible to get a divorce. Never been on his bank account in 23 years. Don't ask for a thing.
Which one of these have you already done or you are currently doing?
I am working on my own internal stuff, and trying to reprogram myself.
7:38 minutes on made me 😢 cry, thank you for reminding me, I did try.
I appreciate your understanding
When my ex hovered me 3 months ago when he was in town, I did all 5. Must have worked, as I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve been no contact 9 months, and I pray he NEVER comes back!
LMAO!!! There's A heart???
The best way to deal with a narcissist is DON'T
Just leave them alone and DON'T tolerate their nonsense
DON'T give them any power over you
DON'T fall for their crap
DON'T be their victim
DON'T return their phone calls or texts
DON'T associate with them
DON'T acknowledge them
DON'T react to their nonsense, just yawn 🥱 and act bored 😴 when they start trying to get under your skin
DON'T think you have to measure up to anyone's expectations of you except the person looking back at you in the mirror
And finally
DON'T TOLERATE THEM PERIOD
Just stay away from them
FACTS
Exactly 💯
what if you live with them and it happens to be your father?
@@yugisharma4256 We all have to grow up eventually and get our own places as soon as we are able to get a JOB, go away to College far from home or join the Military.
We should always try and honor and respect our parents but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate their bullshit for the rest of your life .
I joined the Navy and I got to travel all around this great big World 🌎🌍 and see places and do things most people only dream about seeing and doing.
It was the best decision I ever made in my life and I have no regrets about leaving home
I grew up faster and more than I thought possible
I thought I was already a grown man until I finished Boot Camp and realized just how wrong I was
It was an amazing experience for me and everyone else that has ever served in the military
You learn more about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses and your limitations, you learn teamwork and the importance of working with others to achieve a common goal
There is NO I in team
But never ever forget to take care of yourself first because if you don't you are no good to anyone else or yourself period
Good Luck,God Bless You
And Keep Your Head Held High And Keep Looking Up
@@yugisharma4256 keep under the radar, don't argue, count the months/years you can leave.
You can't break a narcissist's heart because they don't have one.
Facts
But you can get under there skin and break their feelings
it's not true
Thank you
@@LionessTee sure
"You have to be the parent that you never had as a child"
That's is so true.
So true had to learned this being on my own since 17 but thank God AMEN
@@bryanwilliams8010 ¡Amen!
I had to take care of myself and one of my younger sisters, from the age of six, help her with his homework, see that he was doing well at school.
Also at the age of 17 I started working.
Really hard to pull off. I am like my mom, the non-narcissist. I look like her, physically, I think and act like her. Good!
I am waiting for the day that narcisssist(dad) says "you are just like your mother." Ultimate compliment. She divorced him when I was eleven. He made me pay for that all my life. I am 59 now.
Number 3 is spot on for me. I could never understand why it seemed he liked it when I was extremely upset or angry. Being emotional only serves them. Being aware is half the battle, self control the other.
Many of them keep going until they add on more mental issues and lose it all. It's a sad shame really. Deep down they are hurting.
Oh that is SUCH a satisfying game to them! They live for our emotional reactions...the more extreme, the better.
Self-control is not half the battle. The other half the battle is getting out.
I love when Danish says rise above like a phoenix 😂 I will use that message I disregarded the malignant narcissistic husband the abuse and cheating was too much he had to go so i got rid of him divorce is next I need to be free completely of that demon I was married too God is on my side 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
They don't have hearts. Just egos. Don't feed the ego.
YES 💯 FACTS. The narcissist will say we are insecure and have low self-esteem when actually The narcissist is extremely insecure and jealous of the person they are trying to control. The narcissist self esteem is microscopic. When they cannot control your view of them they fall into deep narcissistic injury.
This is 100% correct. I have a lifetime of experience with narcissist family. You must learn to be a cold technician in order to outwit the narc. You must learn to NOT act on your emotions, because that will sink you if you’re involved with a narcissist.
@Amanda R agreed. Although sometimes I feel I’ve become narcissistic myself although therapists reassure me that I am not
💯
@Amanda R That makes perfect sense
We need to crush that ego...big bullie...bossy..narc ..full of fear ..pretending ..all powerful
@One Tough 🐣 how do you play the game
Don’t give narcissist the same energy. There is no way to beat them at their own game. They can go into narcissist rage and that can be very dangerous and make you a target. Just walk away and initiate no contact. Move forward and begin healing
My first thought at seeing your video title was "OMG...there are narcissists with hearts?"
My thoughts too, thought they were cold, calculating, without any feelings, in fact heartless!
@@maytruthprevail4668 They are monsters BUT the “heart” in them is control. When I dumped my Narc several years ago I did it with no emotion, I was polite and wished him well. He lost his mind, crying, lying, behaving like I had run over his dog. I held my ground and kept going forward. He had already met another supply giver but he still freaked out. It would be 7 years before he stopped trying to contact me. Was it love? NOPE, did he miss me?? NOPE. I had broken his control, his addiction and he couldn’t handle it.
@@yathome5596 That's true, they are all control freaks, and hate to lose ground. Good for you, walking away and staying out of harm's way, despite the attempts to hoover.
@@yathome5596 I was friends with a psychotic narcissistic banshee who did me wrong several times but had to cut her lose she was draining my energy very manipulative, and always always crying like a baby telling her melodramatic life she always did this just to pull people to feel sorry for her plus she loved throwing people under the bus like wtf!!! Thank God I cut ties with her she is trash and I swept her out of my life.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
5 ways to hurt a Narc
1. Change the way u see yourself
2. Develop thick skin
3. Stay calm and hold ur ground
4.
5. Set strong boundaries
I don't want to break his heart, I just want to control my life without fear. 💗
But you do want to be your best and have your best life, right?
And that will break his heart. So, whether you want to or not, it will.
You'd have to stay where you are and not live your life.
Now, THAT would not break the narcissist's heart.
Would you rather not break they're heart or would you rather live your best life?
I know you were basically saying that you were not out to hurt them, but just threw out there what it would mean to actually try not break their heart.
Darling you can’t break their hearts. Narcissists did not feel love the way normal people do. You are a source of supply like a grocery store or gas station, only difference is you give the supply they need for free. Leave them because the only one who will end up with a broken heart IS YOU!
@@yathome5596
Exactly.
They do get obsessed, but they do not love.
They dont have a.heart to break.
Narcissist = No Empathy! Run, don’t walk. Fear is false expectations appearing real. When you feel fear, slow down and ask yourself if your fear is true or false. Fear shuts down your rational mind. In moments of fear, once you identify that you are afraid. Stop yourself, slow down, wait for your mind to turn back on, then ask yourself if your fear is justified or false. I had to use this method when learning to drive a tractor trailer. I’ve taught it to all my teammates. It works for me.
If you have a need to "show" The Narcissist ANYTHING you're still snared in their trap. You have not moved on neither have you healed.
This video is exceptional in showing all the ways a narcissist will try to control you and how to forgive yourself for not seeing everything when it is happening. Once you establish who they are, do not have anything to do with these damaged people ever again.
What I would say to anyone who knows a person who is narcissist, is to just stay away from them. I live with a narcissist aunt, my grandma and mom passed away because of her verbal abuse. We all know that words hurt more than anything else.
"I tried everything I could to make our relationship, AMAZING."
Thanks Dan, I'm going to use that!
When your Confident and have accepted your flaws and love yourself truly they will physically abuse you to the point you don’t look like yourself anymore and then find that your insecurities are creeping back up 😢
In my experience I do not want to antagonize a narcissist for fear of their revenge to my loved ones, property, career, social media etc.
Yes, thank you! This is such an important message to get out! My mother is borderline and covert narcissistic. The guilt I felt growing up was enormous and I was not allowed to develop the ability to advocate for myself until I left home. Keep up your wonderful work and encouraging others! Many of us who have been through this still need reminded on occasion that it was not us. It couldn't have been as a child, but I could not have known that. It takes a lot of countering to outweigh that much brain washing. Now I am helping others who are in mentally and emotionally abusive situations to take the power back into their lives. This video is so spot on and helpful in both educating and helping to heal. Thank you.
Narcissist projections are confessions. This is so very true for my case. Listen to this one!
I realized after the fact that all the things I kept having to reassure him where not going to happen over and over again where confessions. And then things he accused me of he was guilty of. If you have doubt, it might be projection.
Trying to get out of a narcissist relationship right now. He’s putting every road block in my way. Thanks for the information.
Excellent points
It’s helping your advice
NARC will do all the chores and make it look like he is very kind , helpful . But narcs
Moves are very calculated
It is like chess game.
When they raise their voice
They want us react and
By justification we get emotionally drained and
Physically it is effected
One has to learn not react at all
But we are all humans
At some point we will react
That is the food for the day
They are happy
They wait for next meal.
Wow great explanation sis🙏. Are you from sri lanka?
You speak so much sense. I understand everything you are saying. Thank you
Thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much this helped me start to heal the damage that was done to me both emotionally and mentally.
Stay strong 💪 you can do this ☺️
They hate it when you're happy.
Wonderful to hear someone also talk about the wounds that need healed in order to sever the ties with narcissists. Awareness is so useful, but the knowledge to affect beneficial change is even more so. Thank you
Isn't it so sad.. that we can so easily contemplate how to break the hearts they don't have. Absolutely they have brought it on themselves with their cruelty and heartless nastiness. It is ourselves that have to educate/strategise to regain our autonomy again. I have followed true the process, actually going zero contact before I knew to do so. The education has given me such peace and pleasure back.
Thank you so much Danish. You were the one who made me realize what I was going through. Having clarity at that moment was more than I could wish. Sincerely grateful
My husband, the absolute narc, made it to where i have to depend on him - took 5 years and 15k in the whole...not him, ME. He took my car and left me with two small babies. I lost it one day, went absolutely nuts on him. You would have thought i was possessed by a demon the way i behaved. It led me to become educated into what was really going on. Just a few more weeks and i am free. Wont say my plan but oh my does it feel good knowing i dont have to call and ask for things...i will be free and never looking back!! I have grown so much during the last 5 years. I really am grateful for all the torment and heartbreak - i am strong and growing stronger daily.❤ Thank you Danish! ❤❤
Understanding seems to be vital to healing. When I thought he might be a narcissist, I was strong in no contact. When I read his "kindness" as not being a narcissist, I wanted to run back home. He is not belittling, disparaging, critical, etc. But, oh God, he is so utterly cruel under that mask of a "good old boy." Someone-thanks!-suggested that I look into covert-not overt-narcissism. He is horribly mean and spiteful. He brought crushing pain into my life, even as he was shining with purity and righteousness. He was always thoughtful, caring and kind, even when he was crushing the heart out of me. He was vicious but he never said an ugly word to me. He never hit me. But under his good old boy self, he made me feel empty, alone and somehow just plain wrong, not enough, not good enough. Maybe not everyone does, but I need to have at least a modicum of understanding so that I can accept whatever responsibility is mine and Go Forward with dignity and grace, so that I can hold my head up and Go Forward with self-respect and dignity. Under the smiles and laughter, under the kindness and caring, he stole myself from me, made me empty. And you know what? I still miss him...
I hear you girl.. But don't you go back to him! Don't you go back! Please. Trust what you are feeling 💌 pls.
@@kathie6585 ah, there's the rub. I'm feeling so many things, most of them conflicting! I don't want to be judgmental or unfair. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's horrible. Thanks. And I'm not going back.
It’s an addiction @keeponkeepinon The stress of the uncertainty interrupted by the small, intermittent rewards created the hook.
@@keeponkeepinon4891 take your time, and feel all the feels. Don't do anything rash and wait until your brain kicks in and does all the analysing
This sounds like covert narcissism. These types of people leave you drained, tired, confused, exhausted, and sad, because there are less overtly destructive and hatefully jealous behaviors.
And I know how you feel about longing for the "good" side of them. You miss the person who romanced you and cared about you and made you laugh. I feel covert narcissists are more likely to see their partners as an idealized source of supply; they expect their partners to always be there for them, say the right things, enable or ignore their self-destructive behaviors and coping mechanisms, and ease all their sorrows. Unlike malignant narcissists, they are usually more likely to be transparent about how lowly they think of themselves or how they see themselves as victims, but thank God you came into their life when they needed it the most. You feel like a hero.
In the end, you realize that all the wonderful things they did and said and how they heroized you were just bait to get you to be their supply. For you to put their needs before you own, to be their sidekick, not their true equal. And when you express your needs and try to boundaries, that's when things can go south very quickly.
A couple of a years ago I developed a good friendship with somebody. We both had some trauma and we were really nice to each other. The last time we spoke he complimented me like hell and said "I love you (my name)"
I started laughing because I couldn't deal well with emotions back then, so saying something like that back to them was hard. Plus I didn't know what context he meant it in as he is bi.
I now find out that a few years after not speaking, he has been acting very narcissistic. Always mentioning toxicity, love bombing others, following half naked models on instragram despite being with someone, posting and deleting images on instragram after an argument, obsessed with their appearance, hot and cold attitude etc.
I guess I had a lucky escape. Do you think he was trying to get my attention 24/7 because I am a kind hearted person?
If my living my best life breaks his heart, I don’t care if it shatters into a million pieces.🤷🏻♀️
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you Danish, just love the way you explain, learning so much and getting stronger
Yes , Put myself first, shine like a chosen one. Can’t face the truth, they may have to change.
Detaching emotions is hard, they hurt you so much try to brainwash you.
Absolutely p, not who he say I am.
Danish you’re the BEST!! I love your straightforward, speaking and answers. Everything is very clear and I love your sense of humor. Thank you so much for dedicating yourself to this horrid type of person. I wish you were around for my first marriage of this but here you are in my second one so that’s a OK, I am just blessed for people like you nothing out at all about this way back then God bless you! 😊
They don't have a heart
Good job, Darnish
Avoiding a narcissist is determination, they are very manipulative, avoiding them you
Must break all ties with them and be assertive on avoiding contact or communication, they are broken peeps going about with garbage , seeking victims to pour it on 😢
Clever ones will never be open about your flaws. They will highly praise you but criticize the qualities you have in others to kill you slowly
Every thing you said is so true. thank you.
I had to change my number to escape my narcissistic father’s clutches! He called me while I was at the gym every afternoon to stop me from working out. I went to see him for my birthday. After staying away for twenty years, I always talked to him by phone. I was narc free for two years, but I went back last February. Now, I’m free from him for life. Thanks for sharing this amazing video!😊❤
Narcissists are bullies.. and who do bullies victimize? Easy targets. Be strong in setting boundaries.
Your a good man thank you sir for standing for this TRUTH. 🙏 ❤️
You are spot on Danish
Thanks for taking time to help us out 😘
Yes know that God loves you and you are a worthy person.❤ Go no contact with the Narcissist best thing you can do. Then Praise and love God!!! Worship God and forget about them.❤✝️🙏
Wow. This is the most insightful explanation regarding of Narcissism that have seen. Thankyou.
They hate people with confidence
Yes. I've been called to sensitive because I actually care. Something they don't.
Thank you very much for this vedio. Now I am in a state of taking firm decision to walk away from him along with my children. All are in their early twenties. We all decided to leave him since last month and we are searching for a rental house to shift . I had a thought of telling him that he can come and visit , but after hearing this vedio , I decided not to let him in our house.
I think there's some excellent advice in this video. It's crucial that we love and value ourselves so that we are not easy prey for narcissists. However, I personally don't want to set out to break anyone's heart. I still want to be a compassionate, empathic person. As far as I'm aware, narcissists aren't born that way. It's trauma, abuse and neglect that creates this person, therefore a degree of understanding (at a safe distance) should be applied imo. Also, being in a place of wanting to break someone's heart, suggests anger and a lack of forgiveness. These emotions hurt us as much if not more than the narcissist. Just my thoughts 🙏
At the breakup which my ex initiated he said to me "Who would want you" I calmly said "Nobody" and left it at that.
Someone with a Cluster B personality will have their heart broken once you stop being a doormat and improve yourself.
Once you prove that you care about yourself, they will hate it, because they don't care about themselves. It reaches deep down into their insecurities of never feeling good enough without external validation.
What a sad way to live. I have empathy for people like that, but no longer to the point where I give up myself to help them heal.
👐🏻
You are very helpful for all of us .Thanks for the guidance 🙏God bless you Dear Danish
U r a good teacher ,it is sad when some is so inocent and pure at heart .u suffer for many many years till some one shed light on .therd is lot to say about this kind of sicknes but let evdry body hear from proffdtional like u .thank u so .ucb .
Well, if my living my best life breaks his heart, then let it shatters into a million pieces-🤷🏻♀️.
Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage 🐀🎶 your username and comment reminded me of that song
@@DiamondsRexpensive and you remind me of a sad little person who hate themselves and troll strangers because of it.
These qualities were exactly in my friend, he did exactly the same to me. As you r telling these, they exactly fits in what happened to me.
This video gives me so much hope and healing.
Thank you
How do you break the “hypnosis “ they put us under? Is there a technique?
No contact
no contact, boundaries.
Yup no contact
So absolutely excellent and right on.
I am suffering so many year and this vidio say thise think I sclef understand and applying now it late to know your channel but I am happy it's helps others
I so needed this, definitely subscribed. Thank you.
An interesting video. Consider that the narcissist chose you because they admire the qualities that you have and might like to possess some of those qualities themselves. They test you to see how you would react as a ‘normal’ person. If you were to respond as ‘you’ then they would learn something by copying your behaviour and responses. Imo
A narcissist worst nightmare is a stoic !
Thank you sir for giving valuable information. My dad is a narcissist and I have been suffering since 10 years. I came to know about his personality from your channel. Please let me know whether these narcissists are born by birth or do they gain this ego knowledge from other sources. Thank you
Genetics play important part. But most of it is a learned behavior
I’ve watched other vids that say that they are born without empathy. I finally figured out that my parents are narcissists. My dad has had his family keep their distance for as long as I’ve known him. Now I know why.
Fill your life with joy, follow your dreams ❤
You can when u surround yourself with positive and loving people thats my shield and I also surround myself with people who would get right with him his smears dont work on me.
God bless you son.
Thank you for your explanation 🌈
This was so on point. Best I've heard. They are exactly as described
❤Love the way you put all this together, direct and wright to the point ! Great Job ! ❤
Be your own best friend!
Do what you would advise your best friend to do in a similar situation and most importantly, don't beat yourself up about what you could've done to avoid that situation. Comfort and support yourself the way you would a good friend.
Works every time, even for fcukups, which is my usual gaffe!
This works ❤
I am always told that I will end up on the corner of the street without him because I live under his roof, he looks after me and he pays my medical aid. I am so broken down I don't see light at the end of the tunnel.
When it you daughter it's hard to leave. She found the ultimate revenge she left me instead. Although it is a relief I still mourn what might have been.
Thank you for the massage totally agree with you love and light ❤
Great video! Brilliant explanation and solutions. Thank You.🌟
My older brother is kind of a narcissist and he has killed every single motivation I had to love him
Excellent advice! Thank you so much for this video.
Maybe what we need more is: 5 Ways to Heal a Narcissist's Heart. We do have to realize that someone did the horrible same to create/cause one as a child to become a narcissist. I do agree with you on the self love, self worth knowing - that benefits all people bc it is their strength that no one should be giving away, nor losing self in a connection with anyone. That is the positive frequency you want to be on, not the negative one that makes one emit and attract, not just a narcissist, but all things negative that one would not want. If anyone finds their selves bombarded with all neg. hitting them,, asking self "why is this crap happening to me?" No need to wonder, you're on the neg vibration. The ONLY way off of it is: self love, self care, know your worth, set your boundaries high and focus on your own arena - you, your duties and responsibilities. Don't worry about what others are doing, saying, buying, etc. NONE of it matters, hold the focus on your own. Be NO ONE'S mat. Treat yourself like gold bc the level of love,care and respect YOU HOLD FOR YOURSELF, is the VERY SAME LEVEL YOU'LL BE RECEIVING from another. That higher self mode of operation is also where all things abundant are found - no where else. Neg energies of self ir from others will DRAIN you of your time, effort, money, even your health. It's like Limerence and you can LOSE it all. People get depressed, and that can lead to suicide IF you lose all sense of self worth. So, my long message is to say, "DON'T EVER PUT YOURSELF LAST." Fill your own cup with love, care, respect FIRST, you cannot ever expect another to fill it for you bc it comes frim within. That is where happiness is found. Then what you emit will attract the right frequency match. You don't have to seek it, it finds you. Save yourself, you kind if have to. It is your responsibility. The harsh lessons for NOT tending to self are severe consequences so that you will never lose sight of yourself again. IT is NOT God trying to smack you down, He may be trying to wake you up. You have to realize this: IT was by your own doing, your own choice that brought you to wherever you find yourself. That might be the hardest part to digest. So, take your power back (tou do have it) and never lose it again. Namaste 🙏🌎💫💖
I don't think they can be healed. I believe they are born evil. A bad seed from the start.
5 ways to heal a narcissist's heart:
1. Don't try.
2. Don't bother.
3. Don't waste your time.
4. Don't hope.
5. Don't.
That's for the professionals!
Very well 👏 said, don't show to the Narcissist yr emotions even when you're happy
They're th devil 😈 on earth
This is exactly referring to my narcissist close relative. You nailed it! Thank you. 😃
I've lost weight since all my hassles. Not eating. Feel sick. He's trying the hoover tactic on me. It's made worse because he's my next door neighbour.... Couldn't have been a worse situation to be in. He's away for a few days. I had the locks changed. This was after I watched him on my doorbell cam trying to get into my house! I predict and expect he will either ignore me completely Or he will start love bombing me. It won't work. Omg never known anything like it. I fell for it hook line and sinker.
I don't want to break a narcissists heart, I don't want anything to do with them...
This is great work. Please keep this channel going. Thank you for this very educational presentation. I find your work supportive and a relief from a great amount of anxiety. Thank you.
He would say "no one else would think you're beautiful but me. In my eyes you're beautiful. ".
I can't have strong boundaries cos my husband opens the portal with his narc family cos he genuinely wants to be involved with them. That leaves me and my husband arguing and disagreeing all the time with no decision being made. I say I won't have it and I won't go. And he says he's going and wants me there. No conclusion is ever made. I told him we should just have a divorce and he won't even agree on that.
Thank you so very much for this video. I watch it often. I have nine more months before I can move out. This video has really helped. ❤
Take your power back by saying no and staying no contact
You cant break something that doesnt exist... by intentionally breaking anybodys heart is no better than what narcholes do. Keeping you down on their level and dimming your light. Just as the narchole wants. I say stop giving them what they want. Instead give yourself what you need 💚
Wow it's a miracle I'm alive he would abuse me while he was accusing me of taking from him until I was so drained of any life in me. It was Nobody but who allow me to come into knowledge of a
Narcissist. I cried and cried of relief
@@gloriamcalister6372 ive been there going on 20 years. You are not alone. I hope you heal 💖💖💖
We can all be guilty of have Narcissistic traits doesn’t mean they have NPD
I would like to see you make a video that does not try to harm someone else.
Please make a video on how to respond to toxic behaviors in a healthy manner.
Sadly, not reacting after nearly 18 years with my husband made him go over the deep end and become dangerous as he tried daily, weekly and constantly to get me to be the passive, scared woman he trained to beg for his forgiveness when he did or said things. He went from verbal and emotional abuse to physical. I think that is truly bad advice to try to show these people they are no longer in control and own the person they are with like an animal. When he realized I had stepped out of the cage he kept me in, I believe he would have eventually killed me since he lost control of himself so violently.
You are such a BIG HELP with what you do!
I really appreciate this video! I was in a 4 year relationship with a narcissist before I finally ended the relationship. He did not break me down EVER it was always constant praise constantly telling me how good I look how sexy I was etc. Then he would get jealous if other men looked at me which I thought was his insecurity. He would beg to spend time with me when I just needed a break from his lies. Said he would do anything to move in with me, marry me, wanted to have a child with me etc. I don’t understand how does someone become a narcissist? Is it damage their parents did to them when they were young? He told me he loved me all the time only ever wanted to be with me, he never wanted to leave my side. Wanted to do everything with me 100% of the time but yet when I needed space he would constantly text and call, falsely accuse me of where I was and why I needed alone time. It’s been a few years since I ended the relationship and have found out that the times I told him I didn’t want to spend time with him he was with someone else. Oh and I forgot to mention the entire four years we were together he was married…which I never knew. When I found out that’s when I ended the relationship. He promised he would get a divorce and marry me, would do anything I wanted, would go to counseling to heal our relationship/problems. He truly played the game of seeming like he loved me but now I recognize he was a narcissist. It’s still crazy because I still feel like I love him and the connection we had because the time we spent together was great, we had a lot of fun etc. But I still don’t understand how does someone become a narcissist?
No, now that I realize he is a narcissist. Even though I truly loved him and we had a connection like I’ve never had with anyone else, I know a narcissist won’t change. I’m not going to give him the power to manipulate me, lie to me, and drain me anymore. He is still married to his second wife, the one he was married to while we were dating, and I pray he’s happy and that he doesn’t hurt anyone else (including her) by cheating on her with other women and the way he hurt me. He truly broke my heart. I am healing from his toxic narcissistic abuse so I can fully give myself to a new man. I’m a very good woman: trustworthy, loyal, honest, and many other traits that a truly good loving and loyal man will appreciate. He however does not deserve me now that I realize he is a narcissist. I’m not going to waste anymore of my time waiting for him to change, to be better, to be truthful and trustworthy.
Last week my 31 year's old son sobbed in my arms. He said "she makes me feel guilty for no reason, I tip toe around her and I lose my energy putting up a fake happy face,but she loves, when I'm upset she takes care of me". They have 2 kids.
HOW CAN I TELL HIM SHE'S A NARCISST WITHOUT DAMAGING THE MARRIAGE?
Hmmmm. 1. He never tried to do such ))) was passive-aggressive comments like , you are not eating well, you look so stressed , what I was seeing as an “advice” still replied to him , look at yourself. Or he tried such kind of absurd things that I have kids and never married , what I also replied WHO SAID I want to marry ? 2. Never was putting me down and I didn’t give a damn about his approval. 3. Yes I was not BYING any gaslighting and was shouting like mad , but i swear I didn’t know who is he . And nobody believed him when he talked I am a psycho. 4. He didn’t blame me , BUT as a protective mechanism, he was saying but I did this this and this ( 25 years ago ) . 5. Boundaries also was built when i involved police , though he never ever did something against the law . Look dear , the way you talk here as if every person is with him in a relationship is a stupid idiot that has no boundaries and has no mouth ? the covert narcissists are not recognized that easy . is a grandiose is easy to see . I was not understanding what is going on for long time . i was thinking the person is having mood swings 😂 I have high self esteem and nobody can gaslight me . But yes I was using control on his provocations and the one was telling him to go . Difficult to see red flags till I realized that the mood swings was splitting . I wondered what kind of memory loose he is having , and he was really having , you know what I mean. out of this 5 , only one i didn’t do what was not keeping calm . If I knew what is going on I would have keep calm and cut it right away .
Wow you so smart .
Thank you so much 🙏
Thanks for advise, been married forever 23 years now. But get told daily what a bad person I am was though all of our years together. To point anymore has me believing that he is right have never been good wife, mother,or just a good person. I try to obey all time but I'm always not doing anything right. Easy to get in married but almost Impossible to get a divorce. Never been on his bank account in 23 years. Don't ask for a thing.
Love this guy! ❤
Wanting to break a narcissists heart is narcissistic in itself, just let it go move on , you have no need to prove yourself to one.
So true! Thanks for this video ❤