Losing a girl you love to a girl is almost worse than losing her to another guy. It's technically even more emmasculating because you're losing her to pure femininity, and because a lot of guys would probably tolerate their girl having lezbo friends so her leaving outright says a lot. And guys being open to bringing girls but not guys into their relationship, might be selfish, might be to just appease a girl who's bi. As for insecurity, I don't think its insecurity in oneself but rather an insecurity in the relationship. A guy might simply not be okay watching his girl fuck another guy, plus it's opening a dynamic to the relationship that might be difficult to close. So in a way its insecure but not necessarily an insecurity in oneself but more an insecurity for the relationship, or an insecurity in your girl not fully trusting her. If a girl proposes adding another guy, its a big red flag! You either agree and if you don't agree you're left questioning if your refusal to meet her fantasy could ruin the relationship. Questioning if she will seek out 2 dudes for a threesome anyway, with or without your approval. Left to question her morals around sex and wondering if monogamy and exclusivity even apply to her. I'd say jealousy also plays a factor which is similar to insecurity.
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
@@ekysnoir Personally *I think Destiny frames it this way because he's a bisexual pansexual (who's even in an open relationship and admittingly obsessed with sex) who probably wants to get in more 'swingers' relations/scenarios but most swingers do not prefer a "devil's threesome"*. It's kind of like when trans or homosexuals claim that hederal sexual people unwilling to date them are "insecure" or "hate them". It's honestly *manipulative*
Destiny have very odd phrasings in crazy leftie perspectives, while Aba views things from a more normal hederal perspective. Example being this _insecurity_ narrative. Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her. Aba's content is honestly pretty triggering for Destiny in the long run. Hence why Destiny pushes with 'papagut' and pours kerosene on that bridge.
I’m understanding but not necessarily a fan of where this relationship is going. Don’t get me wrong, friends being critical of each other is necessary for a good relationship but on the other hand, I don’t want Aba and DesTINY to explode like Mr. Grill and Lav. Steven should probably settle all this back and forth and admit that DesTINY is a GIRLS NAME!
Aba has had at least 2 or 3 beefs with people he was cool with that started just like this. Aba doesn't even consider Preach a friend he has said as much himself.
I'm horrified at the kind of self esteem you'd need to have to be one of these volunteer women/men that go on these shows and just have someone swipe left or right at you in person. Nevermind porn, this is way way more dehumanizing.
Or you could be really confident that you won’t be left swiped….I really don’t think it’s comparable to porn or a lot of other things….like the movie industry were they have sex/nude scenes every 10-20 minutes that don’t add anything to the film ….that is seen as normal or okay but getting rejected is WAYYY worse😂
14:00 the arrogance is upsetting to me because weve seen the types of girls and relationships Destiny gets into. Its almost like hes completely forgotten about the whole Lav thing. Destiny's experience is with girls who like soft and creative men. Im not shitting on his lifestyle im pointing out how almost all of his relationships with women are just as bad as the rest of us. Hes not a pro, he accidentally had a child, got divorced, and now has had 2 mental breakdowns from Anna and Lav. Ill pass of Destiny's advice i think....
@@xXBlackDranzerXx he started a family as a conservative with a soft 6. Switched his entire lifestyle. Married a swiss clout chaser who can still fuck other guys. But damn hes good at banter..... Give me a break.
A lot of psychologists have terrible personal lives. Being logical and observant and able to give others good advice is not the same skill as being able to be logical in your own personal life.
@@michaelh878 completely agree but when he gave his credentials he didn't say "i have a phd in human relations/counseling/psychology" instead he went with "my viewers have only fucked 1 or 2 girls" and "i have tons of experience with women". Just find it very dunning Krueger like....
Destiny always gets so mad when he talks about open relationships. "It's just insecurity," is basically like me saying, "Poly people are only poly because they can't form the deep bonds required to maintain monogamous relationships." There isn't really evidence of either, HOWEVER, there are evolutionary reasons that a man wouldn't want his partner fucking another man which are very obvious. Also, unironically saying you're right because everyone in chat is an incel is the most unintellectual take ever.
@@diegoseba12 Evo psych isn't wrong, people just don't like it because it makes them feel uncomfortable that there are biological imperatives to how they act. Also, red pillers have given Evo psych a bad name by trying to apply it to everything as the sole driver, but to say it has zero influence on action is just braindead. "I don't want my girlfriend to fuck other men because if she gets pregnant I won't know if that's my child," is a perfectly reasonable and not insecure reason to not want your female partner to have male partners. "It's just insecurity," is such an uninteresting and unproven take.
@@SukeShiro I stated them in my reply. Propagating your own genetics is a very strong reason why you wouldn't want your partner having sex with other men. It's less so a problem resource wise now than it was when resources were more scarce, but you wouldn't want to be giving resources to someone who doesn't carry your genetics on.
Sounds like projection from Destiny, most likely guys are just not interested in other guys being involved because they are not bi or gay it's not that deep
Exactly. He seems to think he’s on this elevated plane relative to normal men, but in reality he’s just a) attracted to other men, whereas most men (statistically) are not, and b) he’s seems to be a very detached person who may legitimately not care about his girl being with other men. That’s not necessarily “elevated” though, and I would argue it’s actually the opposite.
I mean im not tryna start anything but would you honestly say this straightness reasoning apllies with women who dont want their man to sleep around with other women? Doesn't sound right to me idk😂
@@estertoivola569 Your anecdotal feelings on this doesn't prove much thats more likely just the type of men you hang around with. There are different reasonings for not wanting a partner sleeping with other people it's not black and white and there are no studies backing any of the non sense reasoning he used either just speculation off his own feelings aswell.
@@dookiehead-ll4jw i mean i thought thats what were doing when you said "most likely...." and "...its not that deep." If you wouldve commented about things not being black and white i wouldnt have engaged at all let along with a subjective take :D
It's not insecurity, men are just very territorial. Used to be, the only way you knew the kid was yours (biologically speaking) was if there were no doubts in your mind that she's only been sleeping with you. If you think she might be cheating, then that kid might not be yours and you have no way of even know that isn't the case unless the kid just looks nothing like you. Now we have paternity tests, and unwanted pregnancies themselves are way less common too because of birth control, but it's hard to overwrite thousands of years of things being a certain way. He is right about women's perspective on homosexual sex, though. This goes back thousands of years. The Greeks, the Romans and the Norse all thought that a guy getting fucked in the arse is feminine. The Romans called those guys catamites. The Norse called them ergi (unmanly), which was a grave insult, and if someone called you ergi and you didn't challenge them to a duel, you could be exiled because you would have basically proven that claim true. Also, in the animal kingdom, same-sex behaviour seems to be a dominance display.
Thank you! I was looking for if anyone noticed this. I love Steven's nuanced takes on most things but when I heard that quick off the cuff comment at 36:05, I was like 'come on bruh'. Tbh maybe he had a salty disposition at the time because of the earlier open relationship stuff but idk.
@@chinnokx it’s nearly impossible to “state facts” that are offensive to any group outside your own, toward black people included. I don’t understand how people don’t see this.
I'm not a Destiny viewer, but RUclips has made it an objective for me to view this dude. I always thought the dude was smart, but when it comes to relationship stuff, he kinda falls short. Edit: I'm not getting into any debate about this dude😎. Have a great day, friends.
He's pretty autistic, so human relationships go over his head for a lot of things. He's smart, so he can piece things together for how to act, but he can only do so much especially for interpersonal relationships.
destiny getting overly defensive with this video having to do with poly/open relationships is some fine tuned irony i haven’t seen in a while especially when preach makes a joke about one girl looking dead inside because of her monotone voice and destiny just ruins it with “um idk how you can tell that but oKAy uh projection??” oh literally what he’s doing by not understanding the video is in a comedic tone and it’s stupid to try and take it so literal. the fact he’s not even using it correctly then being overly petty for the rest of the video and telling people chat he has the best romantic advice is tone deaf into another dimension
He's much more grounded than the other online creators but he's still biased af to poly/Open EVEN when he himself says its pretty chaotic and can go sour
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
Aba is right about guys and group sex, you would not want to bang a girl you really like with 5 other dudes..., its not about insecurity. sex between couples is a pair bonding experience, a group sex thing is not , OPEN relationships are a little different , because its not just sex its full on relationships
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
17:08 I definitely got Eeyore vibes from that girl before Preach even said it. Wouldn't necessarily call her dead inside but still. Not everyone's as bad at social cues as you, Destiny lol
This is pretty much how most normal people talk irl, your "social cues" perception is broken from internet people screaming and emoting at the camera from 8 inches away
@@rodiculous9464 man, destiny fans are weirdos. Touch grass, my guy. I promise you normal people don't sound like monotonous text-to-speech bots outside the D&D group in your middle of nowhere town.
I think another factor to consider is that a lot of straight dudes who would be okay opening their relationship to another girl imagine it as a threesome and fucking around with two chicks at once. They don't actually care about their partner getting to do more sexual shit, they just see an "open relationship" as an easy route to a threesome. But if it's open to other guys, they get nothing out of it and their reaction to the idea defaults back to their own insecurity. Also, I think Destiny is partially wrong about women and insecurity when it comes to their boyfriend/husband doing stuff with other dudes. I've heard women that have found out their husband is bi/gay say that it's way harder on them than if it was another woman, because there's no way for them to compete. I guarantee for the majority of women their partner having homoerotic or homosexual relations would trigger massive insecurity, because there's no way they could ever even try to compete. The insecurity it triggers is way different and sometimes more intense than if it was another woman. I also think that for most men their girlfriend cheating on them with another woman would be really emasculating and drive insecurity as well. But there is also that latent homophoba at play that Destiny talks about. Almost anything homoerotic would be seen as unmanly by most women.
Yeah it is 100% not because “they can’t compete.” Any women who say that are just trying to avoid saying the uncomfortable truth (because they’re afraid of being called homophobic), which is that picturing their man with another man, and knowing that he likes other men, ruins their image of him as a sexually desirable man. Period, end of story. It is not like it is the other way around, where many men are excited to learn that a girl is also into other girls. It doesn’t work for women like that; they just find it a massive turnoff.
Kinda. For me it depends on his role. If he's a top with guys and doesn't get penetrated, it's not a turn-off. But if he's a bottom and/or gets penetrated, then I'm turned off. Gotta be honest.
Anyone find it incredibly ignorant when destiny states something and then when chat disagrees with him he dismisses it’s as if he’s the keeper of a knowledge and his opinion or statement can be the only correct answer. It’s incredibly narcissistic and ignorant
Its the type of people disagreeing thats the issue. It really hard to take someone serious when you know they dont know what they are talking about. For example, ive been playing guitar for 15 years. When I get someone telling me im playing something wrong, and they dont even play guitar, it annoys the hell out of me.
Destiny was wrong about the thing about guys being okay with their girl kissing another girl having to stem from insecurity. Most likely because hes bi. Its really simple, if a straight guy has a chance to be with 2 girls hell likely be happy with that. Even just watching two girls make out is attractive to a straight male. However with a guy in the picture as a 3rd, a straight male dosent gain anything. It really just comes down to attraction. If youre attracted to only girls of course you would prefer more girls and not guys.
You would be surprised. Ive seen straight as pickle dudes who - not only likes it but - dont mind to "share" . As long as they arent like...looking at each other. Some people perceive 2 girls as cheating non the less. To each their own.
Would love to see more react content that's just chill destiny Also I personally wouldn't be ok with sharing with another person, girl or man, I don't want anyone beside me and her involved, Full stop.
I agree, maybe if it was three people all dating each other but even then more than two people just complicates things way more for little benefit, plus dating one person takes up enough time if you're giving each other the attention and time you need, let alone multiple. I do think it's unrealistic to expect to stay with one person your entire life but I still think monogamy is the best way for 99.9% of people
Damn, the incredible amount of tone deafness and total condescension is pretty wild with this one. For real, bro needs to stop thinking he's in a position to give relationship advice. Literally every one he's been in has been a trainwreck, and I wouldn't be surprised if Melina was going to be the next crash.
Not sure why Steven is saying it's only insecurity... 2 million years of evolution behind how the brain is wired. A male is seen as competition because he could impregnate a female, but a woman couldn't, hence the brain evolved to see one as a greater threat. Not saying that's how things should be going forward, but to aggressively assert it as only a cope isn't helpful.
You're point is valid, but that's doesn't invalidate his arguments. It's not that the brain evolves to see males one as a greater threat. Evolution isn't a directional thing, but instead a series or adaptations that develop for self-preservation of a species. It's more accurate to say that one is "more likely to" or "recognize" but there is an argument of nature vs. nurture in these things as we challenge our 'ancient reptilian brains'. It's never entirely either or, but a combination.
@@ligmafigma9631 Not even that really. Most leftist don't even consider evolutionary psychology to make sense of human behavior and only concentrate in sociology.
Can't it be that a man in an open relationship who only finds women attractive could let his gf hook up with other women and not men simply because he only finds women attractive and not men? if you're only into women the thought of your gf and another woman hooking up can be hot but thinking of your gf and a man doesn't sound hot at all. Not because he's a man but because that person in an open relationship is not attracted to men.
Maybe if she’s requesting threesomes with you and the other dude. Odds are if you don’t want your girl fucking with other niggas in an open relationship, it’s probably due to the fact that you have an insecurity with your girl potentially leaving you for that other nigga
@@prl4122 where are you getting these odds from? lol. I don't doubt insecurity can be a factor but it's not always. Some people can genuinely not be turned on by men and find the thought of a gf hooking up with a man as a turn off. Not out of fear that the gf will leave them but because the thought of some hairy and lumpy person hooking up with their sexy wife doesn't even leave them with any fantasy room. Now a sexy woman hooking up with their sexy gf, that's something they can work with. I've never been in an open relationship but from what I know usually partners like to sign off on new people.
@@Bee-vo7hw whatever she finds hot she should bring up to her guy and they talk it out. It's also possible she can find women hot. My only point though is that it's possible for a guy in an open relationship to not want his gf to hook up with another guy and it not be insecurities and the same if it was a woman letting her man sleep with another man. There can be more reasons.
Destiny is mostly right when in comes to insecurities. The issue is that ive seen many relationships work the way he says but ended up souring up. Meaning: The girl would end up going further with the other girl or they had an agreement of just a one time (for threesome or girl on girl) and it repeated itself or pressured for more. Its interesting how he called everyone incels who said his first take was over simplifications but then ended up nuancing it a lot more due to being called out LOL.
I wouldn’t necessarily say the only thing it stems from is insecurity… if my gf was to cheat on me with a girl (not saying I’d be ecstatic but) there’s a 0% chance I raise another man’s child till he’s 18🤷🏽🤷🏽
Idk about the insecurity thing. You can get pregnant from another guy not a girl. Obviously. He's so smart in pretty much everything but relationships lol
@@Laura-oe2dl if thats the case all i would have to say is "sharing is caring, invite the homies we gon party!" XD seriously tho if the concern was just dick he would be worried about her having 'toys' as well, and if thats the case THEN you can say the mans insecure
@@Laura-oe2dl No, because it’s an evolved response, so you can’t control it in that way. Similarly, women tend to find tall, athletic men attractive because those are markers of good genes. However, if I show you a short, bald, ugly, fat man with terrible acne, but I bring a geneticist along who can confirm this man has exceptional genes, you’re not going to suddenly find him attractive right? Responses that we acquired through evolution are not easy to override.
I wonder why destiny misrepresents some positions so bad sometimes. The Evo psych guys don't claim the same thing as red pill gurus. The Evo psych argument I have heard said women will attempt to secure the best set of genetics that her offspring the best chance of survival. It's the red pill gurus that talk about resources. I have seen destiny read the studies that talked about pheromones and how birth control affects it.
Just because that is the argument u have heard doesn't mean that there aren't others out there that u haven't heard. Because I have heard it both ways. All this to say, your comment doesn't disprove anything that Destiny has said about the subject in this video.
I agree. He has a point that some people abuse the whole evo psych angle and try to use it to explain absolutely anything they want, but Destiny basically does the opposite where he refuses to accept any argument that utilizes evo psych at all, which seems foolish to me.
Its FAX! i got turned down by a girl that was questioning her sexuality cause she didn't know what she liked and that didn't hurt that bad which was wild to my mind at the time.
at 9:00, Destiny calling it an insecurity does not take away from the fact that most men AND women would feel that way. Whether its biological or we're all just suffering from crippling insecurity from terrible parenting or low self-esteem is kind of irrelevant when everyone would feel that way.
I'm good on relationship and food takes from you, Destiny 😂 My husband and I have been happily married for several years. I like your political takes though 💖
@@pennyelings6209 This just isn't true tho. My gf is bi, but she would never date a woman. It's not insecure to be okay with your partner having sex with people they would never date; it's sensible. Destiny literally tried leaving Melina for another woman, dude is literally the reason "insecurity" is smart.
1:50 LMAO, idk why I found that "What are they doing so funny." You never just spontaneously break out into song and dance over something random because it sounds catchy?
11:00 This is 100% true, I was asked my sexuality by an ex and after our breakup she started making really weird comments about my sexuality. I don't really have a strong attraction to either gender, I kind of just... like certain people, so it was really fuckin awkward. Especially since I'm not a bottom.
Bro I just gotta say I was just in a polycule of 4 conventionally attractive people (and myself lol) so they totally exist, we just have to be severely mentally ill 🙂🙃
Ok ngl at 13:40 is pretty much this comment section, people keep saying “he falls short”, “his ego is too big” but no one is explaining how/why/what points he make are necessarily wrong.
In my case I’d say the insecurity regarding another guy comes more from a place of fairness. Typically a woman who gets sex with another woman doesn’t have to jump through all the hoops a guy does. She doesn’t have to flaunt status in some way, or hide initial sexual interest, or date the girl for months before the girl agrees to sex. A guy often has to do that. Play the “game.” If I played that game for months before sex, and then she has sex with another guy she just met, that’s essentially devaluing all the effort and time investment I had to put in at the beginning. It never says anything good. If I wasn’t good enough the first night, why is he? Either she considers him better enough to let him skip the “game” (which is an insult to me) or she’s taking advantage of the stability provided by the relationship to start behaving more promiscuously like she’s wanted to (which makes me feel used and disrespected). It’s hard not to feel lesser than a guy if she gives more to him than she did to you. Now if the girl and I had sex the first time we met, it makes a bit more sense. In that case, I doubt it would bother me as much. Similar thing with a girl. She doesn’t necessarily value the girl more than me because girls aren’t filtered on status the same way.
I listen to Steven because he enjoys his life (most of the time) and he likes to discuss/debate politics. Sex talk is fun online sometimes, but I never take it seriously. I don't get upset or ridicule different POVs or predilections, especially from "famous" people. Sex is fun - period.
It's not necessarily "insecurity" just because there's conflict. You as a guy dont compete with women because they have other things to give, and misses some things. But a guy has what I have. Caring is not insecurity imo. its a level thing.
Exactly. This whole use of “insecure” as an insult against men to keep them from having any self-respect or standards. You don’t want your girl going to a club until 2 am without you? Why are you so insecure bro? You don’t want your girl dancing up on another man? Why so insecure? It’s an obviously manipulative tactic, but at its core it’s really weak.
I think there is probably a large biological component to the difference in reaction in a guy's partner being involved with another girl vs another guy too. One is literally genetic competition, the other isn't. It probably isn't all of it, but I strongly doubt that it doesn't factor in. The whole 100% insecurity take it pretty bag in my opinion.
I don’t actually think those two things are different though. I think they’re just two sides of the same coin. Destiny phrased it in terms of insecurity, you’re phrasing it in terms of genetic competition. But I would argue the whole reason we feel insecurity is _because_ of the competition. I’m sure that’s why we evolved to feel sensitive and insecure about this topic, because it’s genetically advantageous to be paranoid and highly defensive about the prospect of another male stealing your mate. You can see this happen directly with many species of animal behavior, where a male “challenger” shows up and literally fights another male to try to take possession of his females. Given this fact, it makes total sense that we would evolve to feel insecure or nervous about other men. But I think what you said and what Destiny said are essentially the same thing.
at 8m in, from what i remember in my day it was worse for a girl to leave a guy and hook up with another girl, rather than another guy. so im not sure the insecurity argument is correct
Aba's line of reason about having sex with a pregnant lady if you're pro life... Is really good, imagine using it against a guy with kids. Hard to argue against.
Not sure why exactly, is it because babies at a certain point in the womb become "conscious"? There is a level of it sure, but not at the level of forming a memory of it :/ Besides, the dick isn't really going to bumping into the babies head, for that to happen it'd have to pierce the amniotic sac which would start to cause a miscarriage.
Bruh, are we eight? You think you're going to give the fucking thing brain damage or even be near touching it? Not how that works. Literally a retarded argument and far from anything insightful. Come on now.
@@lijahrock1801 You're having sex with you pregnant wife. Not "inches from a child". I mean in that case, why start counting our age from the time we're actually born? We're nine to ten months old by then. Hell we should probably add our fathers age onto ours as well since we were swimming around in there for his entire life until conception. Imagine all the times your dad jerked off in his life before you were born, he was basically punching you in the face! Child abuse!
Let's say if she leaves u for someone that have more money than u And u feel insecure Probably it's because u think can get more money than u currently have If u do ur best even if u couldn't match up to him Ur insecurity might despair
Get over your porn addiction and grow up. 99% chance your life will be filled with drama because of your open relationship and basically you’ll just have to ask yourself if all this free sex is worth it.
It's like gear fear in games. You just gotta accept if your partner wants to find someone else, they will. No matter what kind of relationship you got. Shits just going to happen. Or maybe you just aren't made for it.
Aaaah the "I know best/more because I've done it more", avoid these ppl like the plague. How do we know he doesn't keep repeating mistakes? Remember he's giving his opinion not facts. Even though other ppl have sex maybe more or less then him he knows it all and he proclaims his advice is best because ppl who have different opinions in his feed are red pill "vergins" and can't talk to him. It's not facts, it's facts of someone's preference and as you can see his take is the only one he values. ABBA and Preach who he's trying to get famous off of don't agree all the time but agree to disagree when they don't and don't go into name calling in a childishly vengeful way. This guy shows his immaturity and is proud of it. It isn't a fact that every man is insacure ( look up the definition) that a man is only OK with his girl fucking a woman over a man. As a man you can be very secure in knowing yourself and what you do and don't like, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know why this came up on my feed because of A&P name but he won't get another view from me. You can only manipulate the weak minded with the nonsense he's saying. Unless he's trying sarcasm still it's a pass.
I think occasionally because destiny doesn’t “feel” the feelings that normal people would feel from a relationship (he is in an open relationship), he jumped to a quick conclusion, about insecurity. In terms of politics and other aspects destiny is generally pretty rational
Why is Destiny's conclusion about insecurity irrational when it's based of his own experiences? Just like how everyone's opinions are based off of their own experiences. Also Destiny wasn't saying because he has sex all the time he is untouchable. He was just comparing himself to someone who has never had a relationship before. Wich I would agree with Destiny. But I also agree with you that it's not about how many more experiences in relationships you have. I just think you misinterpreted what he was saying.
Also I do believe most of the time if it's two straight people in an open relationship and the male never wants to see the girl with another dude. Its a very self centered stance. Wich selfishness does not work in healthy relationships. Or it's insecurity.
What’s wrong with insecurity and jealousy? How is it not part of a healthy, monogamous relationship? The aversion to admitting these things is weird to me. Do you think you’re the absolute best lover your spouse could ever find? Probably not. You love and cherish her so you don’t want her sharing the emotional connection of sex with anyone else.
If you honestly dig deep enough, the root of jealousy in this regard is probably some level of insecurity. That isn't even a negative, as he said there's some amount of insecurity that's probably healthy. But it's still going to be the root of the discomfort of this topic, isn't it? What other rationale is there to being possessive at all? Again, not that that is even wrong. Maintaining a healthy relationship probably requires a little possessiveness, on both sides. Everyone wants to feel wanted. If a woman feels like her partner just doesn't care if she's getting fucked by every other guy, she probably feels like he doesn't care about her full stop. Some insecurity and possessiveness is probably required for healthy pair bonding for most people.
I hard disagree with destiny. If a girl dumps you for a girl that's almost worse. Friends has perpetuated how bad you should feel about that for years. They made Ross feel like he should always be ashamed and that he wasn't good enought for Rachel after his marriage ended and I think that stereotype persists heavily in the mainstream even today where men lose a lot more self esteem when they see a woman that they were with dating another woman compared to another man
Totally agree, I had a girl that we hooked up once, she asked if we were gonna date after one encounter I said no and so she told me she thinks she is lesbian now which made me feel like I was such a shitty male experience that I turned her off of men as a whole and 2 or 3 years later I see she marries a dude which tells me she was just trying to make me feel bad for not wanting to date her at the time. 100% would not have stuck with me if she just found another dude after we hooked up.
I never understood this trope. If a girl left me to be with a woman, it seems like she was confused all along. That’s not really my issue. It’s her issue.
I openly claim your justification for why I would never want another man but don’t care about another woman involved in my girl’s sex life. I cannot be compared to a woman. Completely based on insecurities. I don’t have the capacity nor the interest in getting over this one yet. But at least I can admit it. Edit: I recognize this is a hole in my character. I’m not claiming it’s the ideal perspective. I feel this way as an emotional response but I would still not be willing to open my relationship to women either. I’m not trying to exist in that hypocrisy I just recognize it in my view on the issue.
Not wanting your girl to get rammed by another guy is not a hole in your character. Many men treat their "soul mate" like a million dollars. And if someone comes along(man or woman) and treats your sole mate like a ho, it'll make you question her value. I think a lot of guys fantasize about lesbian relationships in the hopes of a threesome. But in reality, if a woman came over every weekend to dominate your girl with a strap on, you wouldn't be okay with it. People just assume their girl isn't getting dominated in a lesbian relationship. Also, it definitely can't be boiled down to insecurity. Here's a good litmus test to see if it is just insecurity: Would you be okay with someone ramming your girl, if you could guarantee she wouldn't love him more than you and it wouldn't effect the quality time you and your girl spent together? If you still wouldn't be cool with it, it is not insecurity.
Well by destiny's logic everyone is insecure and everyone who disagrees with him is a virgin, and his personal experience with relationships applies to everyones relationships.
Yes, Amazon selling the book and Kyrie tweeting about the book are different but if you're going to be this outraged over a tweet, shouldn't you keep the same energy w Amazon whose literally selling it, I mean, if Amazon didn't sale the book then would kyrie wouldn't found it and or tweeted it ?
I had a partna like aba. He gets other people to say what he wanna say. He's nostalgic. Feed into as much as you want too. They're careful with their words and will see how you react. At the same time you're responsible for what you say, so be mindful of that, if get caught up in that that's on you!
I'm that homie. 🤣🤣 At first people are like am I being sarcastic? No I'm not. And my long time bros would say everything you just said. I just be trolling though. 🤷🏾♂️
It's funny how guys are pretty much more ok if there girl cheats on them with another woman. But if a woman finds out her guy cheats on her with another man it like hell open up.
my first dipped for a girl who we were friends with, gotta say wasn't that bad tbh. they also didn't last more than a week bcs the one she left with realized she was into dick lol. so yeh anyways destiny you right on that and nah it aint too far from the truth. apart from the initial " first love breakup depression". it wasn't aimed at insecurity like it would be with a dude, more just upset that the relationship was over. this was year 10 Aussie school btw
7:52 - 8:20 That's a bad take all around. Maybe in the mid 90's to mid 2000's it's was considered _"hot"_ if his girlfriend made out with another girl because men viewed women not as competition. But in today society I think a woman can take another woman away from a man equally, if not, easier than a man can take away a woman from another man. So yes, they are viewed as competition now, and look at as disrespecting the relationship.
Destiny was "wrong" about one thing: You can restrict your female partner (as a male) from have casual sex with a particular gender, given she is biromantic and bisexual. If the nature of the poly relationship is to be primarily sexual (with the additions) and not create competition/contention with the anchor relationship (or whatever Simon called it), then it's not necessarily an insecurity. The catch is that you (the male) ought to either be a monogamous party or only have sex with men. This may be more of a defensive its ethics than a rebuttal to an insecurity marker. But hey ...Insecurity can be manifested in a way that's attractive, from and to men and women. So structure you poly relationships how you want, given it's all consensual and honest.
9:19 isn’t this literally the take destiny laughed at Vaush for having when it came to monogamy versus polyamory? Why is feeling that a woman can’t compete with me in the same way equal insecurity? Isn’t it because they’re completely different roles?
I think it has more to do with a woman being more submissive than a man Is generally in threesomes so less competition rather that solely the competition part. Adding a submissive guy would generally be more acceptable to males presented with 3 somes than a cis het dude that's why in alot of fet circles they actually don't allow cis het men you need to be bi gay sub etc.
Destiny is being fairly closeminded about different perspectives regarding both men and women, who either dont want poly relationships or want to deal with gay or bi men. None of these things are absolutes, and its almost like cognitave dissonance to shut yourself off from any possible argument to the contrary. Insecurity isnt the only possible reason why a man wouldnt want another man in his relationship. I agree about the competition thing and how men view it in regards to men vs men and men vs women... but Insecurity isnt the only reason why a man wouldnt want to compete with someone in their relationship. Its like... Shoot men dont want the default dynamic in their relationship to be competition with their significant other period, whether they're in a straight or gay monogamous relationship, or in a poly relationship. If the woman we're with in a monoomous makes it a competition for example, we are very likely to leave. A healthy man generally wants peace in their relationship, not a challenge or competition. Thats not insecurity, thats wanting a dynamic with someone(s) where you can relax. So if a man views another man in a poly relationship as competition... for the person they actually want to be in a relationship with... Then 1: That means that man or men arent really into the idea of a poly relationship that includes multiple men, and 2: They're not going to be happy. Also, from the many women i've heard speak about bisexual men and their willingness (or lackthereof) to date them... Many dont want to bi men because they feel like they'll have to compete with even more people for the person they're in a relationship with. Hardly any of the women i've spoken to about it are disinterested in dating bi men simply because they view them as feminine for also liking dick. And a plethora of men would feel worse if their ex's next significant other was a woman. Both in their mind as well as those they mutually know would essentially be like "You were so bad that you turned her off from men," whether its true or not.
Iguess im just insecure because i aint gay and dont want my woman fucking around. Having this opinion is just the first part but believing it that hard that everybody else is just "coping" smdh.
I think it's fair to say that insecurity is ONE part of the issue with the whole girl cheating with a guy thing. But I think Stephen is delusional saying it's the ONLY thing at play with that. I'd also add though that Stephen is 100% convinced he's right because he thinks it's a strength that he isn't insecure about Melina being with other guys. Which he's free to think whatever he wants. But it doesn't necessarily mean he's right. Thing I find odd was his take on the competition thing. I think it's a good point but it completely skips passed a vital aspect of the cheating. Which is the physical element. To be more direct & state the obvious, the act of the deed itself TYPICALLY sees the man doing the giving and the woman doing the receiving. & I literally mean JUST the main act that qualifies it as sex. The woman has to allow the man to smash. When you have 2 women it's an entirely different dynamic unless there's a strap on involved. So it's like...the whole competition thing isn't even really the issue so much as the act itself. Guys can be territorial. There's no real "pain" in thinking about the freaky creative shit his girl did with some other girl. Not only that but chances are he's also digging the idea that some girl likely did a bunch of wild shit HE didn't wanna do. But thinking about his girl getting clapped by another dude? Completely different image. An image made worse if his girl allowed some other guy to impose his will on her. Good example that just came to mind. Sons of Anarchy s2 I think. The mother character Gemma was raped in the 1st episode. Husband finds out way later. & in a down moment she thinks he's going to move on. Think she said something along the lines of "a man needs to know that he owns his pussy". More or less. It's not a competition thing. I think it's more territorial. But again I understand Stephen has his own experience and views. Even though they are clearly not the norm.
hmm I mean reading your points still feels like it proves Destiny right. most of your examples especially the last,is something that stems from insecurity. I'm not 100% in agreement with him it's the "only" cause you can tell he got triggered but, he is mostly right. Most People's insecurities play a part in most decisions esp when it comes to sex\sexuality.
@@Dykestrike Few things. Again I acknowledged that he was right about the insecurity thing. But only disagreed that it was the only thing. And furthermore his reasoning for insecurity being a factor was competition. Almost everything I said, competition is a non factor. Ppl aren't hurt by cheating because they have to compete all of a sudden. They're hurt because their trust was violated. With respect. A guy like Stephen isn't even going to factor in something like trust because he's in an open relationship. In fact he's openly said plenty of times now that if Melina ever hooked up with a guy he doesn't like, he would simply just get even by doing the same and/or worst. Which shows you that trust never even comes into the picture for him. But again it needs to be stressed that his is far from the norm. He's just 1 guy in his own 1 situation. & it will annoy his viewers when he's in like the most niche situation and he's sitting there talking like the de facto law of everything relationships. Again to be clear about the disconnect....no one is saying he's wrong. It's just he's putting his foot down saying everyone else is dead wrong when everyone else realizes that there is way more going on with cheating outside of insecurity. & it also has to be stressed that he is speaking from a somewhat bias position because both he and his girl are basically for the streets.
To clarify what destiny is saying, he's not saying if you're not ok with your girlfriend hooking up with other people, you are insecure. He is saying if you are ok with your girlfriend hooking up with other women but not men, that means you are insecure. If you aren't ok with either it just means you are monogamous, which is just a personal preference.
In which case that makes most men insecure by default. In which case, I am wondering if it's actually insecurity, or something biological. It would be odd if (just gonna pull a number from my ass, because it sounds probable) 90% of all men are insecure, and it not having some biological roots.
@@Majorfuckinghero Not sure if that many men are really ok with their gfs hooking up with other women, but either way, just because it's an insecurity doesnt mean it's not biological. It also doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing all of the time. Like Destiny said, there is probably always some level of insecurity in a relationship which can be healthy. People just have a very negative connotation to the word insecure.
@@onZampie “People” have a negative connotation with the word because that is how it’s used 99.999% of the time. Being “secure” in yourself, or in your masculinity, is almost universally considered a good thing, and being “insecure” in those things is almost universally considered a bad thing. Couple that with this neat trick where you call men “insecure” for having totally normal desires and standards-such as I don’t want my girl sleeping with other men-and what you have is a weapon you can wield to try to shame people into accepting something in their relationships that they genuinely do not want.
@@therainman7777 I never said not wanting your gf to sleep with other men is a sign of insecurity. But if you ARE ok with your gf sleeping with other women, why wouldn't you also be ok with her sleeping with other men? Because you dont see other women as a threat but you do see other men as a threat i.e, insecurity. If you are not ok with either however, i dont think that needs to be because of an insecurity. As you said that's just a normal desire for most people in a relationship.
@@onZampie What I’m saying is that it’s totally normal, natural, and healthy for a man to not want his wife or girlfriend sleeping with other men, _even if_ he’s ok with her being with other women, because there is a totally natural, evolutionarily explainable reason that he should care more about the former than the latter. Calling that “insecurity” and then pretending like, “what? I didn’t say it’s a bad thing to be insecure” is very disingenuous. If you (or anyone else) is truly not trying to imply that it’s a bad thing, then you should use a different word that doesn’t have an overwhelmingly negative connotation. Btw, I’m not saying you’re doing this on purpose and I’m not ascribing any negative intent to you. But it is the net effect of people using this word in this way, whether they realize it or not-basically to shame men into accepting something that they’re not ok with, and which there are perfectly good evolutionary reasons they’re not ok with it. An analogous situation would be to call someone “insecure” because they don’t like working at dangerous heights without any sort of safety equipment. Yes, technically you could say they’re “insecure” about their ability to not fall, but there’s a very good reason to be worried about that and I think calling such a person “insecure” is a needlessly insulting and negative way of framing it. More importantly, if you worked with that person and called them “insecure” often enough, they might start to take risks they’re not actually comfortable with to try to be less “insecure,” and of course that could lead to them getting hurt or worse.
To the insecurity point: At the end of the day you can break down 90% of every interaction and be left with insecurities as the driving force. If you don’t want your girl to fuck other men but are ok with girls, it probably stems from insecurities BUT I know a lot of dudes and I would have to get to know the guy to be able to overcome the feeling of him being an asshole. If my girl really wanted another experience it had to be with a genuinely nice guy.
watch more aba and preach ►www.youtube.com/@AbaNPreach
Losing a girl you love to a girl is almost worse than losing her to another guy. It's technically even more emmasculating because you're losing her to pure femininity, and because a lot of guys would probably tolerate their girl having lezbo friends so her leaving outright says a lot. And guys being open to bringing girls but not guys into their relationship, might be selfish, might be to just appease a girl who's bi. As for insecurity, I don't think its insecurity in oneself but rather an insecurity in the relationship. A guy might simply not be okay watching his girl fuck another guy, plus it's opening a dynamic to the relationship that might be difficult to close. So in a way its insecure but not necessarily an insecurity in oneself but more an insecurity for the relationship, or an insecurity in your girl not fully trusting her. If a girl proposes adding another guy, its a big red flag! You either agree and if you don't agree you're left questioning if your refusal to meet her fantasy could ruin the relationship. Questioning if she will seek out 2 dudes for a threesome anyway, with or without your approval. Left to question her morals around sex and wondering if monogamy and exclusivity even apply to her. I'd say jealousy also plays a factor which is similar to insecurity.
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
Ok explain the mf couples where male is bi or the sex act known as PEGGING
WAba WPreach Westiny
@@ekysnoir Personally *I think Destiny frames it this way because he's a bisexual pansexual (who's even in an open relationship and admittingly obsessed with sex) who probably wants to get in more 'swingers' relations/scenarios but most swingers do not prefer a "devil's threesome"*.
It's kind of like when trans or homosexuals claim that hederal sexual people unwilling to date them are "insecure" or "hate them". It's honestly *manipulative*
Destiny and Aba is honestly the one bridge I hope doesnt burn
Fuck now you jinxed it lmao
They all shall fall. Yall wait till Mr mouton drops his manifesto on desntinies league abuse
Destiny have very odd phrasings in crazy leftie perspectives, while Aba views things from a more normal hederal perspective. Example being this _insecurity_ narrative.
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
Aba's content is honestly pretty triggering for Destiny in the long run. Hence why Destiny pushes with 'papagut' and pours kerosene on that bridge.
What about Dan
it will, eventually
We need Destiny and Preach to talk to each other
I thought jidion was preach for the longest time tbh
@@rickross9829 yo 😮
@rick ross bro💀💀💀💀
@@rickross9829 bro why would you admit this?
@@rickross9829 lmfao🤣🤣
remember, if your partner asks for an open relationship, it's already over
Nah. Not really. I'd say it's over if the partner asks to be poly, but not a simple open relationship. Just say no and move on.
Well, if you don't start in one already, yeah.
@@diegoseba12 One wants to be monogamous, the other doesn't... Gonna be a dealbreaker 9/10 times in the long run.
@@diegoseba12 if you have an open relationship it’s over…… never is open because of the guy that’s a myth
That’s when you go with the flow until you find the one.
I’m understanding but not necessarily a fan of where this relationship is going. Don’t get me wrong, friends being critical of each other is necessary for a good relationship but on the other hand, I don’t want Aba and DesTINY to explode like Mr. Grill and Lav. Steven should probably settle all this back and forth and admit that DesTINY is a GIRLS NAME!
Wonderful comment!😮😮
In too deep
@@ishzero1258 Not really, they've been being pretty passive aggressive the past couple weeks, even as a joke some things escalate.
Aba has had at least 2 or 3 beefs with people he was cool with that started just like this. Aba doesn't even consider Preach a friend he has said as much himself.
@@streetside2833 has he? I only remember the fresh and fit beef but they weren't never cool.
I'm horrified at the kind of self esteem you'd need to have to be one of these volunteer women/men that go on these shows and just have someone swipe left or right at you in person. Nevermind porn, this is way way more dehumanizing.
Eh its about the same
even worse than the dehumanizing of the jews during the holicaust
Or you could be really confident that you won’t be left swiped….I really don’t think it’s comparable to porn or a lot of other things….like the movie industry were they have sex/nude scenes every 10-20 minutes that don’t add anything to the film ….that is seen as normal or okay but getting rejected is WAYYY worse😂
@@tylertravis2081 I think it's much worse. At least people watching porn think the actors look good.
money helps.
14:00 the arrogance is upsetting to me because weve seen the types of girls and relationships Destiny gets into. Its almost like hes completely forgotten about the whole Lav thing. Destiny's experience is with girls who like soft and creative men. Im not shitting on his lifestyle im pointing out how almost all of his relationships with women are just as bad as the rest of us. Hes not a pro, he accidentally had a child, got divorced, and now has had 2 mental breakdowns from Anna and Lav. Ill pass of Destiny's advice i think....
Destiny acting like all the political bimbo cheeks he gets aren't off the strength of clout.
@@xXBlackDranzerXx he started a family as a conservative with a soft 6. Switched his entire lifestyle. Married a swiss clout chaser who can still fuck other guys. But damn hes good at banter..... Give me a break.
@@chroniccomplainer3792 Swiss, Swedish. All the same lol. Peak American geography.
A lot of psychologists have terrible personal lives. Being logical and observant and able to give others good advice is not the same skill as being able to be logical in your own personal life.
@@michaelh878 completely agree but when he gave his credentials he didn't say "i have a phd in human relations/counseling/psychology" instead he went with "my viewers have only fucked 1 or 2 girls" and "i have tons of experience with women". Just find it very dunning Krueger like....
Anytime Destiny speaks on relationships it’s an automatic skip. Mr. Poly, divorced, consecutive cheater thinks he’s the all knowing of relationships.
Yeah it’s pretty bad
Arent like 40% of people cheaters lol.
@@kimberly4275 cheater talk
@@jijijijijiji44 yeah I love cheating
@@kimberly4275 Ofcourse you have a pride flag in your description. Lmfao.
Destiny always gets so mad when he talks about open relationships. "It's just insecurity," is basically like me saying, "Poly people are only poly because they can't form the deep bonds required to maintain monogamous relationships." There isn't really evidence of either, HOWEVER, there are evolutionary reasons that a man wouldn't want his partner fucking another man which are very obvious.
Also, unironically saying you're right because everyone in chat is an incel is the most unintellectual take ever.
Evo psych is t*rded when it comes to determine social norms so yeah, you are wrong.
@@diegoseba12 Evo psych isn't wrong, people just don't like it because it makes them feel uncomfortable that there are biological imperatives to how they act.
Also, red pillers have given Evo psych a bad name by trying to apply it to everything as the sole driver, but to say it has zero influence on action is just braindead.
"I don't want my girlfriend to fuck other men because if she gets pregnant I won't know if that's my child," is a perfectly reasonable and not insecure reason to not want your female partner to have male partners.
"It's just insecurity," is such an uninteresting and unproven take.
What evolutionary reasons are there? You can’t just say there are reasons and then not state them…
@@SukeShiro I stated them in my reply. Propagating your own genetics is a very strong reason why you wouldn't want your partner having sex with other men.
It's less so a problem resource wise now than it was when resources were more scarce, but you wouldn't want to be giving resources to someone who doesn't carry your genetics on.
Sounds like projection from Destiny, most likely guys are just not interested in other guys being involved because they are not bi or gay it's not that deep
Exactly. He seems to think he’s on this elevated plane relative to normal men, but in reality he’s just a) attracted to other men, whereas most men (statistically) are not, and b) he’s seems to be a very detached person who may legitimately not care about his girl being with other men. That’s not necessarily “elevated” though, and I would argue it’s actually the opposite.
As a woman in an open w females relationship: destinys reasoning applies in most men🤷♀️
I mean im not tryna start anything but would you honestly say this straightness reasoning apllies with women who dont want their man to sleep around with other women? Doesn't sound right to me idk😂
@@estertoivola569 Your anecdotal feelings on this doesn't prove much thats more likely just the type of men you hang around with. There are different reasonings for not wanting a partner sleeping with other people it's not black and white and there are no studies backing any of the non sense reasoning he used either just speculation off his own feelings aswell.
@@dookiehead-ll4jw i mean i thought thats what were doing when you said "most likely...." and "...its not that deep." If you wouldve commented about things not being black and white i wouldnt have engaged at all let along with a subjective take :D
It's not insecurity, men are just very territorial.
Used to be, the only way you knew the kid was yours (biologically speaking) was if there were no doubts in your mind that she's only been sleeping with you. If you think she might be cheating, then that kid might not be yours and you have no way of even know that isn't the case unless the kid just looks nothing like you.
Now we have paternity tests, and unwanted pregnancies themselves are way less common too because of birth control, but it's hard to overwrite thousands of years of things being a certain way.
He is right about women's perspective on homosexual sex, though.
This goes back thousands of years. The Greeks, the Romans and the Norse all thought that a guy getting fucked in the arse is feminine. The Romans called those guys catamites. The Norse called them ergi (unmanly), which was a grave insult, and if someone called you ergi and you didn't challenge them to a duel, you could be exiled because you would have basically proven that claim true.
Also, in the animal kingdom, same-sex behaviour seems to be a dominance display.
Weren’t one of the manliest society ever in the Spartans warriors, had a lot of gay relations
"We also can't use the N word" come on Destiny...talking about black people and using a racial slur are two completely different things bro
Thank you! I was looking for if anyone noticed this. I love Steven's nuanced takes on most things but when I heard that quick off the cuff comment at 36:05, I was like 'come on bruh'. Tbh maybe he had a salty disposition at the time because of the earlier open relationship stuff but idk.
@@chinnokx it’s nearly impossible to “state facts” that are offensive to any group outside your own, toward black people included. I don’t understand how people don’t see this.
@@chinnokx (without being called racist, bigoted, getting your ass kicked, etc.)
they called out his inability to accept that destiny is a girls name.
Exactly
Dead horse..
Destiny isn't even bi
I'm not a Destiny viewer, but RUclips has made it an objective for me to view this dude. I always thought the dude was smart, but when it comes to relationship stuff, he kinda falls short.
Edit: I'm not getting into any debate about this dude😎. Have a great day, friends.
He's pretty autistic, so human relationships go over his head for a lot of things. He's smart, so he can piece things together for how to act, but he can only do so much especially for interpersonal relationships.
Hehe.. short
Pretty sure it’a because he has such unconventional relationships
@Lhoyte1 I don't know about dude's relationship stauses. He makes himself sound like a shlong slinging slasher.
Yep
His ego prevents him from seeing jt
destiny getting overly defensive with this video having to do with poly/open relationships is some fine tuned irony i haven’t seen in a while especially when preach makes a joke about one girl looking dead inside because of her monotone voice and destiny just ruins it with “um idk how you can tell that but oKAy uh projection??” oh literally what he’s doing by not understanding the video is in a comedic tone and it’s stupid to try and take it so literal. the fact he’s not even using it correctly then being overly petty for the rest of the video and telling people chat he has the best romantic advice is tone deaf into another dimension
I just heard it when I read it 🤣
@@chossenone730 bro i heard it when I read this
He's much more grounded than the other online creators but he's still biased af to poly/Open EVEN when he himself says its pretty chaotic and can go sour
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
If Destiny is on the spectrum, that he has questioned, that would explain why he doesn't understand the tone and take it literal.
Aba is right about guys and group sex, you would not want to bang a girl you really like with 5 other dudes..., its not about insecurity. sex between couples is a pair bonding experience, a group sex thing is not , OPEN relationships are a little different , because its not just sex its full on relationships
Open relationships are only SEX not multiple relationships. Destiny doesn’t develop romantic relationships with the other women he sleeps with
@@giovalladares1022 The most common type of relationship. But “ONLY”? Reach.
@@aqueous5099 you’re equating polyamorous with open relationships. Open is just sleeping around no feelings besides your SO.
@@giovalladares1022 That’s true. I forgot the distinction. My bad ^.
Massive insecurity would be he's ALSO afraid of his girlfriend cheating with other women... If anything you can say competitive, with possible insecurity one way by other men. *This is likely because most men are actually hederal polygamous* but lack the wealth, resources, charm, or other means to obtain that desire of a 'haram'; also it's illegal to have multiple wives in the USA. Honestly lesbian interactions is a hederal male 'turn on' and in his head, gets him possibly closer to access to another women if his partner is engaging with her.
Thank god for destiny, I thought I wasn't gay but i guess i'm just insecure.
For real 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah you is.
It isn’t gay to have a MMF threesome though lol. How does this comment have 10 likes?
@@justlooking1087 of course it is. You are hard with another dude. Uber gay.
@@Not_CIA Lol nah bro that’s wild. As long as the two men aren’t touching each other, it is not gay
SOMETHING SOMETHING GIRLS NAME
Hinkle
Hinks
TRUE!
BASED COMMENTER
17:08 I definitely got Eeyore vibes from that girl before Preach even said it. Wouldn't necessarily call her dead inside but still. Not everyone's as bad at social cues as you, Destiny lol
I don't know how you could tell that Mr Girl is a crazy, but ok. Seems like a bit of a projection.
@@tytanowykarol lmaoo
@@tytanowykarol LOL
This is pretty much how most normal people talk irl, your "social cues" perception is broken from internet people screaming and emoting at the camera from 8 inches away
@@rodiculous9464 man, destiny fans are weirdos. Touch grass, my guy. I promise you normal people don't sound like monotonous text-to-speech bots outside the D&D group in your middle of nowhere town.
I think another factor to consider is that a lot of straight dudes who would be okay opening their relationship to another girl imagine it as a threesome and fucking around with two chicks at once. They don't actually care about their partner getting to do more sexual shit, they just see an "open relationship" as an easy route to a threesome. But if it's open to other guys, they get nothing out of it and their reaction to the idea defaults back to their own insecurity.
Also, I think Destiny is partially wrong about women and insecurity when it comes to their boyfriend/husband doing stuff with other dudes. I've heard women that have found out their husband is bi/gay say that it's way harder on them than if it was another woman, because there's no way for them to compete. I guarantee for the majority of women their partner having homoerotic or homosexual relations would trigger massive insecurity, because there's no way they could ever even try to compete. The insecurity it triggers is way different and sometimes more intense than if it was another woman. I also think that for most men their girlfriend cheating on them with another woman would be really emasculating and drive insecurity as well. But there is also that latent homophoba at play that Destiny talks about. Almost anything homoerotic would be seen as unmanly by most women.
Yeah it is 100% not because “they can’t compete.” Any women who say that are just trying to avoid saying the uncomfortable truth (because they’re afraid of being called homophobic), which is that picturing their man with another man, and knowing that he likes other men, ruins their image of him as a sexually desirable man. Period, end of story. It is not like it is the other way around, where many men are excited to learn that a girl is also into other girls. It doesn’t work for women like that; they just find it a massive turnoff.
Kinda. For me it depends on his role. If he's a top with guys and doesn't get penetrated, it's not a turn-off. But if he's a bottom and/or gets penetrated, then I'm turned off. Gotta be honest.
OR some men aren’t jealous and just wanna fuck lol
Not that deep
Anyone find it incredibly ignorant when destiny states something and then when chat disagrees with him he dismisses it’s as if he’s the keeper of a knowledge and his opinion or statement can be the only correct answer. It’s incredibly narcissistic and ignorant
kinda like hasan lol
yeah nah not at all
Its the type of people disagreeing thats the issue. It really hard to take someone serious when you know they dont know what they are talking about. For example, ive been playing guitar for 15 years. When I get someone telling me im playing something wrong, and they dont even play guitar, it annoys the hell out of me.
He does that shit with fitness and it’s so cringe.
It's mostly just very autistic.
Destiny was wrong about the thing about guys being okay with their girl kissing another girl having to stem from insecurity. Most likely because hes bi. Its really simple, if a straight guy has a chance to be with 2 girls hell likely be happy with that. Even just watching two girls make out is attractive to a straight male. However with a guy in the picture as a 3rd, a straight male dosent gain anything. It really just comes down to attraction. If youre attracted to only girls of course you would prefer more girls and not guys.
Really it depends on what the guys’ kinks are.
never take relationship advice from a cuck....
You would be surprised. Ive seen straight as pickle dudes who - not only likes it but - dont mind to "share" . As long as they arent like...looking at each other. Some people perceive 2 girls as cheating non the less. To each their own.
@@warallied yeah im not saying theres not guys who are into that. Just pointing out theres many guys who arent
Yep
Would love to see more react content that's just chill destiny
Also I personally wouldn't be ok with sharing with another person, girl or man, I don't want anyone beside me and her involved, Full stop.
"chill destiny" is destiny plays fsctorio and plays vids for his viewers to watch
I agree, maybe if it was three people all dating each other but even then more than two people just complicates things way more for little benefit, plus dating one person takes up enough time if you're giving each other the attention and time you need, let alone multiple. I do think it's unrealistic to expect to stay with one person your entire life but I still think monogamy is the best way for 99.9% of people
Last couple destiny vids been hella emotional dude. What going on with homie? He transitioning?
Damn, the incredible amount of tone deafness and total condescension is pretty wild with this one.
For real, bro needs to stop thinking he's in a position to give relationship advice. Literally every one he's been in has been a trainwreck, and I wouldn't be surprised if Melina was going to be the next crash.
You can learn from his experience, tho, I guess.
Sounds like the best person to give relationship advice.
@@papaofthejohns5882 Maybe if he was actually in a healthy relationship after so many trash fires. Doesn't seem to be the case however.
Nah thats crazy. It did indeed crash.
Not sure why Steven is saying it's only insecurity... 2 million years of evolution behind how the brain is wired. A male is seen as competition because he could impregnate a female, but a woman couldn't, hence the brain evolved to see one as a greater threat.
Not saying that's how things should be going forward, but to aggressively assert it as only a cope isn't helpful.
It's mostly his left perspective that makes him fall into this, like Vaush xd
Because he's a lefty who's in an open relationship and he justifies it by a false sense of moral superiority via "ur insecure lol"
You're point is valid, but that's doesn't invalidate his arguments. It's not that the brain evolves to see males one as a greater threat. Evolution isn't a directional thing, but instead a series or adaptations that develop for self-preservation of a species.
It's more accurate to say that one is "more likely to" or "recognize" but there is an argument of nature vs. nurture in these things as we challenge our 'ancient reptilian brains'. It's never entirely either or, but a combination.
@@ligmafigma9631 Not even that really. Most leftist don't even consider evolutionary psychology to make sense of human behavior and only concentrate in sociology.
Well, if you're an abortion &/or Plan B advocate you'd do fine. S/O to your hormones though ladies. 😁🤣😭
Can't it be that a man in an open relationship who only finds women attractive could let his gf hook up with other women and not men simply because he only finds women attractive and not men? if you're only into women the thought of your gf and another woman hooking up can be hot but thinking of your gf and a man doesn't sound hot at all. Not because he's a man but because that person in an open relationship is not attracted to men.
Maybe if she’s requesting threesomes with you and the other dude. Odds are if you don’t want your girl fucking with other niggas in an open relationship, it’s probably due to the fact that you have an insecurity with your girl potentially leaving you for that other nigga
Let’s keep it real, everybody loves a woman’s body but dudes ?🤢
@@prl4122 where are you getting these odds from? lol. I don't doubt insecurity can be a factor but it's not always. Some people can genuinely not be turned on by men and find the thought of a gf hooking up with a man as a turn off. Not out of fear that the gf will leave them but because the thought of some hairy and lumpy person hooking up with their sexy wife doesn't even leave them with any fantasy room. Now a sexy woman hooking up with their sexy gf, that's something they can work with. I've never been in an open relationship but from what I know usually partners like to sign off on new people.
What about what she finds hot?
@@Bee-vo7hw whatever she finds hot she should bring up to her guy and they talk it out. It's also possible she can find women hot. My only point though is that it's possible for a guy in an open relationship to not want his gf to hook up with another guy and it not be insecurities and the same if it was a woman letting her man sleep with another man. There can be more reasons.
Destiny is mostly right when in comes to insecurities. The issue is that ive seen many relationships work the way he says but ended up souring up. Meaning: The girl would end up going further with the other girl or they had an agreement of just a one time (for threesome or girl on girl) and it repeated itself or pressured for more.
Its interesting how he called everyone incels who said his first take was over simplifications but then ended up nuancing it a lot more due to being called out LOL.
He did the vaush thing lmfao
Destiny's relationship takes are good but if you question them "i've fucked more bitches than you, virgin"
I wouldn’t necessarily say the only thing it stems from is insecurity… if my gf was to cheat on me with a girl (not saying I’d be ecstatic but) there’s a 0% chance I raise another man’s child till he’s 18🤷🏽🤷🏽
Destiny you’re cool but you are the last guy that should be talking about the dating market 😂
Idk about the insecurity thing. You can get pregnant from another guy not a girl. Obviously. He's so smart in pretty much everything but relationships lol
Exactly he is so biased towards women and doesn't recognize it abd claims to be impartial.😂😂
So a man's position would radically change is she had an IUD and therefore couldn't get pregnant?
@@Laura-oe2dl if thats the case all i would have to say is "sharing is caring, invite the homies we gon party!" XD
seriously tho if the concern was just dick he would be worried about her having 'toys' as well, and if thats the case THEN you can say the mans insecure
@@Laura-oe2dl No, because it’s an evolved response, so you can’t control it in that way. Similarly, women tend to find tall, athletic men attractive because those are markers of good genes. However, if I show you a short, bald, ugly, fat man with terrible acne, but I bring a geneticist along who can confirm this man has exceptional genes, you’re not going to suddenly find him attractive right? Responses that we acquired through evolution are not easy to override.
ngl academia has legitimized this type of logic
Ngl tho this smells like the white patrarichy
Citations: all of the humanities from the past decade
3:43 😁 I'm glad somebody still remember that reference.
Oh man, Destiny is missing so many zingers, he’s deaf and artistic
Dead inside by the sound of her voice, Destiny, people go monotone after some heavy shit.
I wonder why destiny misrepresents some positions so bad sometimes. The Evo psych guys don't claim the same thing as red pill gurus. The Evo psych argument I have heard said women will attempt to secure the best set of genetics that her offspring the best chance of survival. It's the red pill gurus that talk about resources. I have seen destiny read the studies that talked about pheromones and how birth control affects it.
Like destiny ain't got skin in the game. The best way to sniff out a fraud
Just because that is the argument u have heard doesn't mean that there aren't others out there that u haven't heard. Because I have heard it both ways. All this to say, your comment doesn't disprove anything that Destiny has said about the subject in this video.
I agree. He has a point that some people abuse the whole evo psych angle and try to use it to explain absolutely anything they want, but Destiny basically does the opposite where he refuses to accept any argument that utilizes evo psych at all, which seems foolish to me.
I'm an aba and preach fan. From heart.
bro im so sick of the factorio arc when does it end?
I ever meet a girl and started dating, I'm breaking up if I ever seen her on a video like this.
She is the freest spirit. Let her inspire generations
That question from the chat a minute 25:00 was PERFECT👌
Its FAX! i got turned down by a girl that was questioning her sexuality cause she didn't know what she liked and that didn't hurt that bad which was wild to my mind at the time.
When Steven talks about shit like this, I wish he'd acknowledge there are exceptions to the "rules".
at 9:00, Destiny calling it an insecurity does not take away from the fact that most men AND women would feel that way. Whether its biological or we're all just suffering from crippling insecurity from terrible parenting or low self-esteem is kind of irrelevant when everyone would feel that way.
Definitely this. It's insecurity, but that's also totally fine. Just because it's insecurity doesn't mean it's not a legitimate boundary.
I'm good on relationship and food takes from you, Destiny 😂 My husband and I have been happily married for several years. I like your political takes though 💖
Agreed
Nice hopefully you or him are not hiding a secret lol
Destiny: If you don’t let your girlfriend have sex with other men your INSECURE
Not what he said bud
If you let your girlfriend have sex with woman but not men your INSECURE*
14:20 he says the exact opposite :|
@@pennyelings6209 That’s only slightly less idiotic of a statement though.
@@pennyelings6209 This just isn't true tho.
My gf is bi, but she would never date a woman.
It's not insecure to be okay with your partner having sex with people they would never date; it's sensible.
Destiny literally tried leaving Melina for another woman, dude is literally the reason "insecurity" is smart.
I got so confused, the thumbnail made me think this was an Aba and Preach video
You're not alone my son, you're never alone.
1:50 LMAO, idk why I found that "What are they doing so funny." You never just spontaneously break out into song and dance over something random because it sounds catchy?
Destiny overall isn't that fun I don't think he ever experienced anything like that
@@J.R.Swish1 Breaking out into choreographed song and dance - the fifth wonder of the world in competition with mt saint helens
11:00 This is 100% true, I was asked my sexuality by an ex and after our breakup she started making really weird comments about my sexuality. I don't really have a strong attraction to either gender, I kind of just... like certain people, so it was really fuckin awkward. Especially since I'm not a bottom.
Bro I just gotta say I was just in a polycule of 4 conventionally attractive people (and myself lol) so they totally exist, we just have to be severely mentally ill 🙂🙃
Pic or shut up
🧢
@@Lhoyte1 Listen man; BPD. Need i say more?
🧢
@@xDevinxify lol
Maybe I missed where their videos called out Destiny?
Ok ngl at 13:40 is pretty much this comment section, people keep saying “he falls short”, “his ego is too big” but no one is explaining how/why/what points he make are necessarily wrong.
Destiny provides just as much evidence for his advice. What is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
I'm sorry but Destiny relationship advice sucks but political views are pretty based.
His best takes are on confidence and how you should be mature to have the best success within a relationship. Better than Jordan Peterson's incel ass.
Which advice exactly?
@@mikemills326 mm anything that comes out of his mouth that's relationship advice
@@Threelegs94 yeah but I’m asking for an example
@@Threelegs94 you can't be right about everything but at least his reasoning is always there
15:20 I wonder why lol, the previous 10 minutes or w/e were him using insecurity as a word to put down the people disagreeing with him
Destiny is a macho man’s name. Change my mind
No need pumpkin
Wrong, have you considered that is actually a girl's name?
Blasphemy. How dare you. Stick to the meme!
I'm going to be genuinely sad if the Destiny-Aba bridge ever burns.
11:47 "If you disagree with me, you're a virgin."
This is the most terminally online counter argument I've ever heard.
In my case I’d say the insecurity regarding another guy comes more from a place of fairness. Typically a woman who gets sex with another woman doesn’t have to jump through all the hoops a guy does. She doesn’t have to flaunt status in some way, or hide initial sexual interest, or date the girl for months before the girl agrees to sex.
A guy often has to do that. Play the “game.” If I played that game for months before sex, and then she has sex with another guy she just met, that’s essentially devaluing all the effort and time investment I had to put in at the beginning. It never says anything good. If I wasn’t good enough the first night, why is he? Either she considers him better enough to let him skip the “game” (which is an insult to me) or she’s taking advantage of the stability provided by the relationship to start behaving more promiscuously like she’s wanted to (which makes me feel used and disrespected). It’s hard not to feel lesser than a guy if she gives more to him than she did to you.
Now if the girl and I had sex the first time we met, it makes a bit more sense. In that case, I doubt it would bother me as much. Similar thing with a girl. She doesn’t necessarily value the girl more than me because girls aren’t filtered on status the same way.
it’s odd that men wouldn’t think there is competition when there is a woman when undoubtedly a woman would know a woman’s body way better obviously.
I listen to Steven because he enjoys his life (most of the time) and he likes to discuss/debate politics. Sex talk is fun online sometimes, but I never take it seriously. I don't get upset or ridicule different POVs or predilections, especially from "famous" people. Sex is fun - period.
Bro his advise is bullshit, his marriage is a crumbling mess and he only fucks mentally Ill people half his age
I think you are right but my experience on this is Ross from friends.
It's not necessarily "insecurity" just because there's conflict. You as a guy dont compete with women because they have other things to give, and misses some things. But a guy has what I have. Caring is not insecurity imo. its a level thing.
Exactly. This whole use of “insecure” as an insult against men to keep them from having any self-respect or standards. You don’t want your girl going to a club until 2 am without you? Why are you so insecure bro? You don’t want your girl dancing up on another man? Why so insecure? It’s an obviously manipulative tactic, but at its core it’s really weak.
Does Destiny think Amazon is still just a book store?
I think there is probably a large biological component to the difference in reaction in a guy's partner being involved with another girl vs another guy too. One is literally genetic competition, the other isn't. It probably isn't all of it, but I strongly doubt that it doesn't factor in.
The whole 100% insecurity take it pretty bag in my opinion.
I don’t actually think those two things are different though. I think they’re just two sides of the same coin. Destiny phrased it in terms of insecurity, you’re phrasing it in terms of genetic competition. But I would argue the whole reason we feel insecurity is _because_ of the competition. I’m sure that’s why we evolved to feel sensitive and insecure about this topic, because it’s genetically advantageous to be paranoid and highly defensive about the prospect of another male stealing your mate. You can see this happen directly with many species of animal behavior, where a male “challenger” shows up and literally fights another male to try to take possession of his females. Given this fact, it makes total sense that we would evolve to feel insecure or nervous about other men. But I think what you said and what Destiny said are essentially the same thing.
@17:15 Destiny calls out Preach... DAMN!
at 8m in, from what i remember in my day it was worse for a girl to leave a guy and hook up with another girl, rather than another guy. so im not sure the insecurity argument is correct
Aba's line of reason about having sex with a pregnant lady if you're pro life... Is really good, imagine using it against a guy with kids. Hard to argue against.
Not sure why exactly, is it because babies at a certain point in the womb become "conscious"? There is a level of it sure, but not at the level of forming a memory of it :/ Besides, the dick isn't really going to bumping into the babies head, for that to happen it'd have to pierce the amniotic sac which would start to cause a miscarriage.
Bruh, are we eight?
You think you're going to give the fucking thing brain damage or even be near touching it?
Not how that works. Literally a retarded argument and far from anything insightful.
Come on now.
@@lindyxyo4254 Does having sex inches away from a child not qualify as bad? The other stuff is irrelevant 😴
@@lijahrock1801 You're having sex with you pregnant wife. Not "inches from a child".
I mean in that case, why start counting our age from the time we're actually born? We're nine to ten months old by then.
Hell we should probably add our fathers age onto ours as well since we were swimming around in there for his entire life until conception.
Imagine all the times your dad jerked off in his life before you were born, he was basically punching you in the face! Child abuse!
@lijahrock i mean dont mommas and daddas fuck with their baby in the room? since when was this a sin
as someone who is interested in open relationship, how do you overcome that insecurity from your girl dating men?
If she finds someone better for her then that is great, you two weren't right for each other. Find someone better for you.
Let's say if she leaves u for someone that have more money than u
And u feel insecure
Probably it's because u think can get more money than u currently have
If u do ur best even if u couldn't match up to him
Ur insecurity might despair
Get over your porn addiction and grow up. 99% chance your life will be filled with drama because of your open relationship and basically you’ll just have to ask yourself if all this free sex is worth it.
It's like gear fear in games. You just gotta accept if your partner wants to find someone else, they will. No matter what kind of relationship you got. Shits just going to happen. Or maybe you just aren't made for it.
Aaaah the "I know best/more because I've done it more", avoid these ppl like the plague. How do we know he doesn't keep repeating mistakes? Remember he's giving his opinion not facts.
Even though other ppl have sex maybe more or less then him he knows it all and he proclaims his advice is best because ppl who have different opinions in his feed are red pill "vergins" and can't talk to him. It's not facts, it's facts of someone's preference and as you can see his take is the only one he values.
ABBA and Preach who he's trying to get famous off of don't agree all the time but agree to disagree when they don't and don't go into name calling in a childishly vengeful way. This guy shows his immaturity and is proud of it. It isn't a fact that every man is insacure ( look up the definition) that a man is only OK with his girl fucking a woman over a man. As a man you can be very secure in knowing yourself and what you do and don't like, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I know why this came up on my feed because of A&P name but he won't get another view from me. You can only manipulate the weak minded with the nonsense he's saying. Unless he's trying sarcasm still it's a pass.
I think occasionally because destiny doesn’t “feel” the feelings that normal people would feel from a relationship (he is in an open relationship), he jumped to a quick conclusion, about insecurity. In terms of politics and other aspects destiny is generally pretty rational
Why is Destiny's conclusion about insecurity irrational when it's based of his own experiences? Just like how everyone's opinions are based off of their own experiences. Also Destiny wasn't saying because he has sex all the time he is untouchable. He was just comparing himself to someone who has never had a relationship before. Wich I would agree with Destiny. But I also agree with you that it's not about how many more experiences in relationships you have. I just think you misinterpreted what he was saying.
Also I do believe most of the time if it's two straight people in an open relationship and the male never wants to see the girl with another dude. Its a very self centered stance. Wich selfishness does not work in healthy relationships. Or it's insecurity.
What’s wrong with insecurity and jealousy? How is it not part of a healthy, monogamous relationship? The aversion to admitting these things is weird to me. Do you think you’re the absolute best lover your spouse could ever find? Probably not. You love and cherish her so you don’t want her sharing the emotional connection of sex with anyone else.
If you honestly dig deep enough, the root of jealousy in this regard is probably some level of insecurity.
That isn't even a negative, as he said there's some amount of insecurity that's probably healthy.
But it's still going to be the root of the discomfort of this topic, isn't it?
What other rationale is there to being possessive at all?
Again, not that that is even wrong. Maintaining a healthy relationship probably requires a little possessiveness, on both sides. Everyone wants to feel wanted.
If a woman feels like her partner just doesn't care if she's getting fucked by every other guy, she probably feels like he doesn't care about her full stop.
Some insecurity and possessiveness is probably required for healthy pair bonding for most people.
I hard disagree with destiny. If a girl dumps you for a girl that's almost worse. Friends has perpetuated how bad you should feel about that for years. They made Ross feel like he should always be ashamed and that he wasn't good enought for Rachel after his marriage ended and I think that stereotype persists heavily in the mainstream even today where men lose a lot more self esteem when they see a woman that they were with dating another woman compared to another man
I think it depends on the kind of lesbian she leaves you for. Generally, the more masculine The woman is the more competitive the feelings.
Totally agree, I had a girl that we hooked up once, she asked if we were gonna date after one encounter I said no and so she told me she thinks she is lesbian now which made me feel like I was such a shitty male experience that I turned her off of men as a whole and 2 or 3 years later I see she marries a dude which tells me she was just trying to make me feel bad for not wanting to date her at the time. 100% would not have stuck with me if she just found another dude after we hooked up.
@@gokevindiamond but that’s totally different
I never understood this trope. If a girl left me to be with a woman, it seems like she was confused all along. That’s not really my issue. It’s her issue.
The reverse of this is when you screw two lesbians straight causing them to break up with each other while still seeing you on the side
I openly claim your justification for why I would never want another man but don’t care about another woman involved in my girl’s sex life. I cannot be compared to a woman. Completely based on insecurities. I don’t have the capacity nor the interest in getting over this one yet. But at least I can admit it.
Edit: I recognize this is a hole in my character. I’m not claiming it’s the ideal perspective. I feel this way as an emotional response but I would still not be willing to open my relationship to women either. I’m not trying to exist in that hypocrisy I just recognize it in my view on the issue.
Not wanting your girl to get rammed by another guy is not a hole in your character. Many men treat their "soul mate" like a million dollars. And if someone comes along(man or woman) and treats your sole mate like a ho, it'll make you question her value. I think a lot of guys fantasize about lesbian relationships in the hopes of a threesome. But in reality, if a woman came over every weekend to dominate your girl with a strap on, you wouldn't be okay with it. People just assume their girl isn't getting dominated in a lesbian relationship.
Also, it definitely can't be boiled down to insecurity. Here's a good litmus test to see if it is just insecurity: Would you be okay with someone ramming your girl, if you could guarantee she wouldn't love him more than you and it wouldn't effect the quality time you and your girl spent together? If you still wouldn't be cool with it, it is not insecurity.
@@gabrielcodina6188 Best take I've seen. Rare Destiny L
Are we trying to over analyze and intellectualise jokes? This comment section is so full of pseudo intellectuals lmfao. So cringe to read
Well by destiny's logic everyone is insecure and everyone who disagrees with him is a virgin, and his personal experience with relationships applies to everyones relationships.
This is fucked! Until the Brooklyn Nets suspend Jeff Bezo's from play, like they did to Kyrie Irving, I'm going to protest..
Still waiting on the aba/preach and destiny crossover. The world can't handle it though
it happened on stream already
@@TheMrgameflare it literally didn’t
@@Sognik it literally did, it was quick, but it happened.
Not wanting your girlfriend or wife to hook up with other dudes isn't because of insecurity, that's pretty crazy.
If you’re cool with her sleepin with other women but not dudes that is text book insecurity lmfao
Common Aba W
28:48 I'm a believer 🤣
Yes, Amazon selling the book and Kyrie tweeting about the book are different but if you're going to be this outraged over a tweet, shouldn't you keep the same energy w Amazon whose literally selling it, I mean, if Amazon didn't sale the book then would kyrie wouldn't found it and or tweeted it ?
They’re so quick to ban smut romance novels I am amazed they don’t wan’t ban this 😂
I had a partna like aba. He gets other people to say what he wanna say. He's nostalgic. Feed into as much as you want too. They're careful with their words and will see how you react. At the same time you're responsible for what you say, so be mindful of that, if get caught up in that that's on you!
How fat was his batootie
I'm that homie. 🤣🤣
At first people are like am I being sarcastic?
No I'm not.
And my long time bros would say everything you just said.
I just be trolling though. 🤷🏾♂️
What do you mean he's nostalgic?
facts. good read
The Jazmine lady is a cosplayer. That’s cool seeing her on something other than social media.
Steven not realising he's redpilling people all the while playing Factorio. A bad time for him lately.
It's funny how guys are pretty much more ok if there girl cheats on them with another woman.
But if a woman finds out her guy cheats on her with another man it like hell open up.
my first dipped for a girl who we were friends with, gotta say wasn't that bad tbh. they also didn't last more than a week bcs the one she left with realized she was into dick lol. so yeh anyways destiny you right on that and nah it aint too far from the truth. apart from the initial " first love breakup depression". it wasn't aimed at insecurity like it would be with a dude, more just upset that the relationship was over. this was year 10 Aussie school btw
also yes my ex was bi before me, but not to my knowledge at the time.
@@jamesfreundgale cope; you turned her gay
7:52 - 8:20
That's a bad take all around. Maybe in the mid 90's to mid 2000's it's was considered _"hot"_ if his girlfriend made out with another girl because men viewed women not as competition. But in today society I think a woman can take another woman away from a man equally, if not, easier than a man can take away a woman from another man. So yes, they are viewed as competition now, and look at as disrespecting the relationship.
Did I miss the part when they called him out?
yeah i didnt see which part that was neither, its weird
we gonna get dwarf fortress after the factorio arc?
Probably league
Destiny was "wrong" about one thing:
You can restrict your female partner (as a male) from have casual sex with a particular gender, given she is biromantic and bisexual. If the nature of the poly relationship is to be primarily sexual (with the additions) and not create competition/contention with the anchor relationship (or whatever Simon called it), then it's not necessarily an insecurity. The catch is that you (the male) ought to either be a monogamous party or only have sex with men.
This may be more of a defensive its ethics than a rebuttal to an insecurity marker. But hey
...Insecurity can be manifested in a way that's attractive, from and to men and women. So structure you poly relationships how you want, given it's all consensual and honest.
9:19 isn’t this literally the take destiny laughed at Vaush for having when it came to monogamy versus polyamory? Why is feeling that a woman can’t compete with me in the same way equal insecurity? Isn’t it because they’re completely different roles?
I think it has more to do with a woman being more submissive than a man Is generally in threesomes so less competition rather that solely the competition part. Adding a submissive guy would generally be more acceptable to males presented with 3 somes than a cis het dude that's why in alot of fet circles they actually don't allow cis het men you need to be bi gay sub etc.
@13:50 🙌 fax
Destiny is being fairly closeminded about different perspectives regarding both men and women, who either dont want poly relationships or want to deal with gay or bi men. None of these things are absolutes, and its almost like cognitave dissonance to shut yourself off from any possible argument to the contrary.
Insecurity isnt the only possible reason why a man wouldnt want another man in his relationship. I agree about the competition thing and how men view it in regards to men vs men and men vs women... but Insecurity isnt the only reason why a man wouldnt want to compete with someone in their relationship.
Its like... Shoot men dont want the default dynamic in their relationship to be competition with their significant other period, whether they're in a straight or gay monogamous relationship, or in a poly relationship. If the woman we're with in a monoomous makes it a competition for example, we are very likely to leave. A healthy man generally wants peace in their relationship, not a challenge or competition. Thats not insecurity, thats wanting a dynamic with someone(s) where you can relax.
So if a man views another man in a poly relationship as competition... for the person they actually want to be in a relationship with... Then 1: That means that man or men arent really into the idea of a poly relationship that includes multiple men, and 2: They're not going to be happy.
Also, from the many women i've heard speak about bisexual men and their willingness (or lackthereof) to date them... Many dont want to bi men because they feel like they'll have to compete with even more people for the person they're in a relationship with. Hardly any of the women i've spoken to about it are disinterested in dating bi men simply because they view them as feminine for also liking dick.
And a plethora of men would feel worse if their ex's next significant other was a woman. Both in their mind as well as those they mutually know would essentially be like "You were so bad that you turned her off from men," whether its true or not.
Aba and preach need to CHILLLL
Women just aren't competition that's the truth
My first bf thought that too until I went with a girl lmao
He just posted the link to the movie....He didn't say ANYTHING...you should review the situations before commenting
Dudes in my area with 4-5 wives hearing Destiny saying their relationships are really rare😂😂
Iguess im just insecure because i aint gay and dont want my woman fucking around. Having this opinion is just the first part but believing it that hard that everybody else is just "coping" smdh.
I think it's fair to say that insecurity is ONE part of the issue with the whole girl cheating with a guy thing. But I think Stephen is delusional saying it's the ONLY thing at play with that. I'd also add though that Stephen is 100% convinced he's right because he thinks it's a strength that he isn't insecure about Melina being with other guys. Which he's free to think whatever he wants. But it doesn't necessarily mean he's right.
Thing I find odd was his take on the competition thing. I think it's a good point but it completely skips passed a vital aspect of the cheating. Which is the physical element. To be more direct & state the obvious, the act of the deed itself TYPICALLY sees the man doing the giving and the woman doing the receiving. & I literally mean JUST the main act that qualifies it as sex. The woman has to allow the man to smash. When you have 2 women it's an entirely different dynamic unless there's a strap on involved.
So it's like...the whole competition thing isn't even really the issue so much as the act itself. Guys can be territorial. There's no real "pain" in thinking about the freaky creative shit his girl did with some other girl. Not only that but chances are he's also digging the idea that some girl likely did a bunch of wild shit HE didn't wanna do. But thinking about his girl getting clapped by another dude? Completely different image. An image made worse if his girl allowed some other guy to impose his will on her.
Good example that just came to mind. Sons of Anarchy s2 I think. The mother character Gemma was raped in the 1st episode. Husband finds out way later. & in a down moment she thinks he's going to move on. Think she said something along the lines of "a man needs to know that he owns his pussy". More or less. It's not a competition thing. I think it's more territorial. But again I understand Stephen has his own experience and views. Even though they are clearly not the norm.
hmm I mean reading your points still feels like it proves Destiny right. most of your examples especially the last,is something that stems from insecurity. I'm not 100% in agreement with him it's the "only" cause you can tell he got triggered but, he is mostly right. Most People's insecurities play a part in most decisions esp when it comes to sex\sexuality.
@@Dykestrike Few things. Again I acknowledged that he was right about the insecurity thing. But only disagreed that it was the only thing. And furthermore his reasoning for insecurity being a factor was competition. Almost everything I said, competition is a non factor. Ppl aren't hurt by cheating because they have to compete all of a sudden. They're hurt because their trust was violated. With respect.
A guy like Stephen isn't even going to factor in something like trust because he's in an open relationship. In fact he's openly said plenty of times now that if Melina ever hooked up with a guy he doesn't like, he would simply just get even by doing the same and/or worst. Which shows you that trust never even comes into the picture for him. But again it needs to be stressed that his is far from the norm. He's just 1 guy in his own 1 situation.
& it will annoy his viewers when he's in like the most niche situation and he's sitting there talking like the de facto law of everything relationships. Again to be clear about the disconnect....no one is saying he's wrong. It's just he's putting his foot down saying everyone else is dead wrong when everyone else realizes that there is way more going on with cheating outside of insecurity. & it also has to be stressed that he is speaking from a somewhat bias position because both he and his girl are basically for the streets.
To clarify what destiny is saying, he's not saying if you're not ok with your girlfriend hooking up with other people, you are insecure. He is saying if you are ok with your girlfriend hooking up with other women but not men, that means you are insecure. If you aren't ok with either it just means you are monogamous, which is just a personal preference.
In which case that makes most men insecure by default. In which case, I am wondering if it's actually insecurity, or something biological. It would be odd if (just gonna pull a number from my ass, because it sounds probable) 90% of all men are insecure, and it not having some biological roots.
@@Majorfuckinghero Not sure if that many men are really ok with their gfs hooking up with other women, but either way, just because it's an insecurity doesnt mean it's not biological. It also doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing all of the time. Like Destiny said, there is probably always some level of insecurity in a relationship which can be healthy. People just have a very negative connotation to the word insecure.
@@onZampie “People” have a negative connotation with the word because that is how it’s used 99.999% of the time. Being “secure” in yourself, or in your masculinity, is almost universally considered a good thing, and being “insecure” in those things is almost universally considered a bad thing. Couple that with this neat trick where you call men “insecure” for having totally normal desires and standards-such as I don’t want my girl sleeping with other men-and what you have is a weapon you can wield to try to shame people into accepting something in their relationships that they genuinely do not want.
@@therainman7777 I never said not wanting your gf to sleep with other men is a sign of insecurity. But if you ARE ok with your gf sleeping with other women, why wouldn't you also be ok with her sleeping with other men? Because you dont see other women as a threat but you do see other men as a threat i.e, insecurity. If you are not ok with either however, i dont think that needs to be because of an insecurity. As you said that's just a normal desire for most people in a relationship.
@@onZampie What I’m saying is that it’s totally normal, natural, and healthy for a man to not want his wife or girlfriend sleeping with other men, _even if_ he’s ok with her being with other women, because there is a totally natural, evolutionarily explainable reason that he should care more about the former than the latter. Calling that “insecurity” and then pretending like, “what? I didn’t say it’s a bad thing to be insecure” is very disingenuous. If you (or anyone else) is truly not trying to imply that it’s a bad thing, then you should use a different word that doesn’t have an overwhelmingly negative connotation. Btw, I’m not saying you’re doing this on purpose and I’m not ascribing any negative intent to you. But it is the net effect of people using this word in this way, whether they realize it or not-basically to shame men into accepting something that they’re not ok with, and which there are perfectly good evolutionary reasons they’re not ok with it. An analogous situation would be to call someone “insecure” because they don’t like working at dangerous heights without any sort of safety equipment. Yes, technically you could say they’re “insecure” about their ability to not fall, but there’s a very good reason to be worried about that and I think calling such a person “insecure” is a needlessly insulting and negative way of framing it. More importantly, if you worked with that person and called them “insecure” often enough, they might start to take risks they’re not actually comfortable with to try to be less “insecure,” and of course that could lead to them getting hurt or worse.
To the insecurity point: At the end of the day you can break down 90% of every interaction and be left with insecurities as the driving force.
If you don’t want your girl to fuck other men but are ok with girls, it probably stems from insecurities BUT I know a lot of dudes and I would have to get to know the guy to be able to overcome the feeling of him being an asshole. If my girl really wanted another experience it had to be with a genuinely nice guy.