I don’t think I’ll ever fully trust somebody, especially in a romantic relationship. People act all the time, they act however they want in front of your face, but how they act and really think behind your back can be completely different. I’m ruining my current relationship because I always have fears and anxiety that my man is cheating on me. And I have my reasons, the beginning of our relationship he was still caught up on lust with other people, and I forgave him because my stupid sensitive heart. But how am I supposed to believe his intentions are true now? That when I’m away he doesn’t still have these lustful thoughts and act upon them? Lust can make people so selfish, greedy, and cold. I hate loving other people deeply, because I constantly worry that I do not get that same love back. I’ve been insecure all my life and have had bad relationships (family, friends, ex’s) I don’t know if I’ll ever stop having these fears and issues..
Yes this was me. Learning to be confident in the latter. I think for me it was trust needs to be earned. I’ve had people SHOW me they trust me and let time show all. It’s helped a lot. To let go of insecure negativity from past relationships.
Hope I can get through this. I do well, but then my anxiety makes me backtrack sometimes. I lose control and feel scared, angry, and my heart is beating out my chest
This is profound stuff! I am on my anxiety healing journey and this is exactly what I'm looking at in my life. Thank you for the tangible tips and articulating the relationship between trust and anxiety so well.
My best friend has massively wronged me in the past , backstabbed me, slagged me off, mocked me, how do i trust him now, not only this i cant deal with it if someone doesn't like me
But why would you want to trust him? He doesn't seem trustworthy. You can be is acquaintance and be kind, but you don't have to be vulnerbale with him anymore. He has showed you that you cannot.
@@doctorjodi My situation is quite complex. But here goes nothing... I'm dealing with a perdicament that I believe could be easily resolved. My father and I have been living with each other on and off and on the same land at least in 2 different locations for most of my 28 years of life. I recently know I've messed up bad and I mean bad. I was going to throw out some trash which involved my piss jugs that I had since I was living in my travel trailer and didn't want to go outside at night to urinate being I had to put all my clothes on belt, walk outside in the poor weather multiple times a night due to health reasons. I also suffer from (not diagnosed yet) CPTSD from trauma related to jail guards and the system. I do at times hide from the world in my travel trailer so this also contributes to the piss jugs as I don't even want to go outside and I don't have water hooked up in my travel trailer yet... Now where it gets bad is my dad actually when I went to take that garbage out I had a few of my piss jugs in the basket where today on the Fourth of July he had to empty them out and then throw them away bring it to the dump and as you can tell already this is really sad. I talked to him today without even really seeing the severity of this until I got to my travel trailer and thought about what i had said. Being that "Oh gary when he was here he'd play these stupid games with you when you were the mouth that feeds" which was my cousin and his nephew that used to try and walk on him when he was being helped by my father. So this obviously looks like a poor attempt to excuse myself by comparison. And also I said that the garbage cans were full that's why I wasn't able to deal with it properly. And he said at least I could've emptied out the piss jugs but instead I left them there. He didn't even seem that angry it just looked like disgust as it should have. Not trying to excuse anything but the most underlying issue within myself that I've noticed is huge trust issues. Something I've been reluctant to fix. I believe that being in jail where they would force me into a restraint chair and I would urinate on myself cause I couldn't get to the hole in the ground (solitary confinement) they would then wreslte me to the floor and strip me of my clothes and then throw towels in there telling me I had to clean up my own urine if I wanted the padded clothes to be warm. That was only a very short explanation of what had all happened but this is what I've been faced with dealing with between being in there with them and the mental health professionals playing mind games with me so damn much. Now I feel as if when my father asks or tells me to do something it's in a controlling type of way and I'm unsure if it really is sometimes. But most of the time I feel like that's what's happening and I read too much into peoples facial expressions thinking they are laughing cause they got away with controlling me in some way. I've grown past a lot of this . but this for me seems to be my biggest... Hurtle in dealing with these easy to do every day things. And to make the situation worse. For some reasons I'm unsure about but he had his friend move in with him and his friends daughter. And now it feels to me like they are making a point to "Look were here in your space haha" by their body language etc. I've had this happen where my dad makes a point to tell me that even though the place is in his name that it's actually mine as soon as we get financially stable and he sells his other property blah blah. But I won't go into that. He tells everyone it's mine, he tells them it's mine. Then his friends or whatever will show up, right in the middle of me and... Him talking and then they'll stare at me and then sit down and he'll just start talking with them even though me and him were just there talking to each other. And I asked "Are we going to finish our conversation or?" He replies "no I'm talking with my friend right now" Of course I don't understand this. I do feel walked on. But I try to see where he's coming from as well I try to reason with all of it, and do my best but simply he's just exhausted at this point and just flat out disapointed. Dealing with all these things makes me wanna retract more and I've talked with him a few times now the best way I coujld without making him feel attacked in any way. Now I almost feel like the people around us now is out of spite for a few days before this all happened with the garbage I got angry with him. Telling him I can't help but to be that way when I feel pushed around Eventually speaking. I bottle it up instead of talking cause I don't know what else to do, then I explode. And this makes him angry probably cause he feels like he does nothing but help me. The whole picture is a little more complicated. So what do I do just suck it up and bend over when he demands I do things, or maybe I can talk to him after this blows over and ask if he could talk to me in a different way that helps me understand that it's ok. But then again that seems selfish even though it's not it's for the both of us. I'm still trying to figure out how to convey myself without him feeling attacked. I think I would need to just do things before he even asks that way this isn't even a possiblity. But I've had instances where people talk about things that happened the night before almost like they were watching me do them. So now I feel taken advantage of even when people might not even really be around. And that prevents me from even doing anything even in my own travel trailer cuz it feels like they are watching me or having me do something. Not sure what I can do to remedy all this and not feel controlled while keeping him happy so he doesn't get up and leave me high and dry and then I'm stuck in an even worse spot
I love her, but I just don’t know how much longer I can hold on.... the panic attacks and horrible skepticism are just torture. I feel so hopeless and as if it will only get worse as she starts traveling for work. Should I just get out? Im madly in love and most of the time it’s great. But when I’m weak and vulnerable I get completely consumed by “who’s she with and what’s she doing”
You'd love some of my newer videos that may help with with anxiety , especially this year. You also, might really get a lot out of my new book "Anxiety...I'm So Done with You!" amzn.to/2zudoHZ Hope that helps!
Im 14 and all these things has happened too me when i was in my last relationship i couldn't sleep i would wake up at 1 am too check my phone i would over sleep during the day not eating right because my ex had a girl best friend and sometimes i would think wrong that he was cheating on me with her since they would always hang out it hurts and if you going thru this just know your worth so much and DESERVE better
im 17 and i have really bad trust issues about relationships. whenever i want to trust and be more serious with someone (relationship wise) i get back stabbed, lied to etc. i really wanted to trust this one guy im seeing curently, but recently ive been told that he leaked our conversations, showed them to his friends. i still dont know if its true because i havent asked him (i will today, though) but i already imagine him saying that he did it, or if not lying about it and saying he didnt do it. (again, im not sure, i just have a feeling of him doing it.) i dont know who i will be able to trust if its going to turn out to be true, or what to do with our relationship if it turns out false. if its false, i atleast want him to prove me that not only his friends are important, i want him to prove himself to me so i can trust him. any tips??
I think a lot of people can relate. I hope you are better now, but if you are still struggling, you would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
I'm so scared of this... I deal with this many times, and I don't think I can't handle it.. The only way would be to breakup with my girl but the thoughts of that happening kill me..
I think a lot of people can relate. I hope you are better now, but if you are still struggling, you would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
My dad left me after he said the words "I'll never leave you". My sister left after saying the same words- not even to college she just kicked me out of her life. And then right when I thought I was done trusting people I met my ex best friend whom i started trusting after pushing him away so many times but he still came back. Then he said he'd never leave me. Then I started having Feelings for him. I told him and he said he felt the same. Then he started ignoring me. Then He left me. After saying the same words from all the other people. It hurt. Still hurts. Now I'm just a ticking bomb so that every time I have an opportunity to cry over my shitty life I do.
I'm so sorry this is happening. I do offer one-on-one counseling if you feel that would be helpful: jodiaman.com/counseling I also have a ton of free video here on RUclips and on my site jodiaman.com Keep reaching out
I have anxiety attacks and trust issues and also bipolar disorder,so the emotional swings makes the anxiety waves even more insane, it's really not good for the physical health either. and jusst going out to the grocery stores stresses me out. I can't even call the taxi. Always second guessing ,what if I had anxiety attacks while shopping and people stare at me wierdly,what if no one cared and mistreated me,what if there was a earthquake...it's hopeless.
Ever since my dad got cancer and died I have had trust issues. It's been 8 years now and I'm 16. I can't trust my family and u don't want to. I don't know what to do because they get offended that I don't trust them but in reality I'm scared they are going to die or leave. so I tend to keep myself to myself and spend time alone. I envy families because I never had one in my childhood. my mother has remarried and now I have a step dad. It's so hard to try and be a normal family because of my issues. ah I don't know what to do.
Your isolation is making things worse. Get close to people. Grief is easier and less complex if you are close to a person than if you kept your distance!
I've been dating this guy for year and I have trust issues and jealousy know really want to overcome it because I love him but I feel like if I start trusting him I'm just gonna get stabbed in the back and then when I see a girl and stuff I just get super jealous I don't even know what to do.. kinda hate myself..I wanna stop but I can't!Yes I will maybe stop mentioning things to him but I still feel that way I still get upset and stuff I wish I could just not worry about anything.
+Jaharmony thompson Watch this: ruclips.net/video/7spjSs0OQPU/видео.html. If you need additional support you can schedule a time to Skype with me here: jodiaman.com/counseling/
I do not have a problem trusting the one I love. My problem is because my love was hurt he accuses me of things I would never do. The jealousy is out of hand.
depends on what side you are asking about. Accusing someone of being untrustworthy, needing reassurance, control issues can be trust issues. Insecurity. Low self esteem.
Thank you so much for this
you are so welcome :)
I don’t think I’ll ever fully trust somebody, especially in a romantic relationship. People act all the time, they act however they want in front of your face, but how they act and really think behind your back can be completely different. I’m ruining my current relationship because I always have fears and anxiety that my man is cheating on me. And I have my reasons, the beginning of our relationship he was still caught up on lust with other people, and I forgave him because my stupid sensitive heart. But how am I supposed to believe his intentions are true now? That when I’m away he doesn’t still have these lustful thoughts and act upon them? Lust can make people so selfish, greedy, and cold. I hate loving other people deeply, because I constantly worry that I do not get that same love back. I’ve been insecure all my life and have had bad relationships (family, friends, ex’s) I don’t know if I’ll ever stop having these fears and issues..
I can only offer advice in person since I can't get a handle on if your ex is good or not.
Handled it 10 million times before, though never wanting to feel that way again 💔
I understand.
When I’m single, I feel confident. But when I’m in relationship, I feel insecure and don’t trust S.O.
Yes this was me. Learning to be confident in the latter. I think for me it was trust needs to be earned. I’ve had people SHOW me they trust me and let time show all. It’s helped a lot. To let go of insecure negativity from past relationships.
Maybe because you have something to lose.
@@doctorjodi I agree it’s fear of intimacy. I’ve realized that now that I’m in a healthier relationship
I don't trust people even when there is no reason to be distrustful. Social media compounds it.
Hope I can get through this. I do well, but then my anxiety makes me backtrack sometimes. I lose control and feel scared, angry, and my heart is beating out my chest
Grab a copy of my new book: "Anxiety...I'm So Done with You!" amzn.to/2zudoHZ
This is profound stuff! I am on my anxiety healing journey and this is exactly what I'm looking at in my life. Thank you for the tangible tips and articulating the relationship between trust and anxiety so well.
I'm so glad you found it helpful. You may also want to check out my free video series, The Map to Whole Peace jodiaman.com/themap
Every time I open up to someone they stab me in the back SO I trust no one Never can and never will
take some time to observe people for a while. Don't expect much, just watch.
Dean this literally always happens to me I agree. As soon as I finally let my guard down I get betrayed never fails.
Why do you care so much. Trust is not owed to you or expected. Trust is gained.
Everytime when i sleep, i must look around just in case anyone was there
i've been watching her videos for some time now. This woman helped me a lot.
Well said .... Short and powerful
Thank you!
❤️
My best friend has massively wronged me in the past , backstabbed me, slagged me off, mocked me, how do i trust him now, not only this i cant deal with it if someone doesn't like me
But why would you want to trust him? He doesn't seem trustworthy. You can be is acquaintance and be kind, but you don't have to be vulnerbale with him anymore. He has showed you that you cannot.
@@doctorjodi My situation is quite complex. But here goes nothing... I'm dealing with a perdicament that I believe could be easily resolved. My father and I have been living with each other on and off and on the same land at least in 2 different locations for most of my 28 years of life. I recently know I've messed up bad and I mean bad. I was going to throw out some trash which involved my piss jugs that I had since I was living in my travel trailer and didn't want to go outside at night to urinate being I had to put all my clothes on belt, walk outside in the poor weather multiple times a night due to health reasons.
I also suffer from (not diagnosed yet) CPTSD from trauma related to jail guards and the system. I do at times hide from the world in my travel trailer so this also contributes to the piss jugs as I don't even want to go outside and I don't have water hooked up in my travel trailer yet...
Now where it gets bad is my dad actually when I went to take that garbage out I had a few of my piss jugs in the basket where today on the Fourth of July he had to empty them out and then throw them away bring it to the dump and as you can tell already this is really sad.
I talked to him today without even really seeing the severity of this until I got to my travel trailer and thought about what i had said. Being that "Oh gary when he was here he'd play these stupid games with you when you were the mouth that feeds" which was my cousin and his nephew that used to try and walk on him when he was being helped by my father. So this obviously looks like a poor attempt to excuse myself by comparison. And also I said that the garbage cans were full that's why I wasn't able to deal with it properly. And he said at least I could've emptied out the piss jugs but instead I left them there.
He didn't even seem that angry it just looked like disgust as it should have. Not trying to excuse anything but the most underlying issue within myself that I've noticed is huge trust issues. Something I've been reluctant to fix. I believe that being in jail where they would force me into a restraint chair and I would urinate on myself cause I couldn't get to the hole in the ground (solitary confinement) they would then wreslte me to the floor and strip me of my clothes and then throw towels in there telling me I had to clean up my own urine if I wanted the padded clothes to be warm.
That was only a very short explanation of what had all happened but this is what I've been faced with dealing with between being in there with them and the mental health professionals playing mind games with me so damn much. Now I feel as if when my father asks or tells me to do something it's in a controlling type of way and I'm unsure if it really is sometimes. But most of the time I feel like that's what's happening and I read too much into peoples facial expressions thinking they are laughing cause they got away with controlling me in some way. I've grown past a lot of this . but this for me seems to be my biggest...
Hurtle in dealing with these easy to do every day things. And to make the situation worse. For some reasons I'm unsure about but he had his friend move in with him and his friends daughter. And now it feels to me like they are making a point to "Look were here in your space haha" by their body language etc. I've had this happen where my dad makes a point to tell me that even though the place is in his name that it's actually mine as soon as we get financially stable and he sells his other property blah blah. But I won't go into that. He tells everyone it's mine, he tells them it's mine. Then his friends or whatever will show up, right in the middle of me and...
Him talking and then they'll stare at me and then sit down and he'll just start talking with them even though me and him were just there talking to each other. And I asked "Are we going to finish our conversation or?" He replies "no I'm talking with my friend right now"
Of course I don't understand this. I do feel walked on. But I try to see where he's coming from as well I try to reason with all of it, and do my best but simply he's just exhausted at this point and just flat out disapointed. Dealing with all these things makes me wanna retract more and I've talked with him a few times now the best way I coujld without making him feel attacked in any way. Now I almost feel like the people around us now is out of spite for a few days before this all happened with the garbage I got angry with him. Telling him I can't help but to be that way when I feel pushed around Eventually speaking. I bottle it up instead of talking cause I don't know what else to do, then I explode. And this makes him angry probably cause he feels like he does nothing but help me.
The whole picture is a little more complicated. So what do I do just suck it up and bend over when he demands I do things, or maybe I can talk to him after this blows over and ask if he could talk to me in a different way that helps me understand that it's ok. But then again that seems selfish even though it's not it's for the both of us. I'm still trying to figure out how to convey myself without him feeling attacked. I think I would need to just do things before he even asks that way this isn't even a possiblity. But I've had instances where people talk about things that happened the night before almost like they were watching me do them. So now I feel taken advantage of even when people might not even really be around. And that prevents me from even doing anything even in my own travel trailer cuz it feels like they are watching me or having me do something.
Not sure what I can do to remedy all this and not feel controlled while keeping him happy so he doesn't get up and leave me high and dry and then I'm stuck in an even worse spot
Thank you so much.. Needed this valuable advice..
You may like a copy of my book Anxiety I'm SO Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ Or listen to my podcast jodiaman.com/podcast
It is really a useful and nice talk and helpful as well. Thank you Jodi; you are a blessed great woman.
helpful- thank you
I will set goals for myself - things I want to get done and just focus on me focus on getting better and being productive
You're welcome! Excellent!
Thank you sooo much for this jodi! This helped me so much!
I'm so glad :)
I love her, but I just don’t know how much longer I can hold on.... the panic attacks and horrible skepticism are just torture. I feel so hopeless and as if it will only get worse as she starts traveling for work. Should I just get out? Im madly in love and most of the time it’s great. But when I’m weak and vulnerable I get completely consumed by “who’s she with and what’s she doing”
Sane
You'd love some of my newer videos that may help with with anxiety , especially this year. You also, might really get a lot out of my new book "Anxiety...I'm So Done with You!" amzn.to/2zudoHZ Hope that helps!
Thank you so much for this video I subscribed!
I'm happy it helped you! xo
Im 14 and all these things has happened too me when i was in my last relationship i couldn't sleep i would wake up at 1 am too check my phone i would over sleep during the day not eating right because my ex had a girl best friend and sometimes i would think wrong that he was cheating on me with her since they would always hang out it hurts and if you going thru this just know your worth so much and DESERVE better
It's easy to see afterwards and it is good to give advice to those if they know you get it!
I fucked up my relationship because of trust issues
Valérie English i feel like im doing the same
❤️
im 17 and i have really bad trust issues about relationships. whenever i want to trust and be more serious with someone (relationship wise) i get back stabbed, lied to etc. i really wanted to trust this one guy im seeing curently, but recently ive been told that he leaked our conversations, showed them to his friends. i still dont know if its true because i havent asked him (i will today, though) but i already imagine him saying that he did it, or if not lying about it and saying he didnt do it. (again, im not sure, i just have a feeling of him doing it.) i dont know who i will be able to trust if its going to turn out to be true, or what to do with our relationship if it turns out false. if its false, i atleast want him to prove me that not only his friends are important, i want him to prove himself to me so i can trust him.
any tips??
Confront him, if he broke your trust and seems too immature dump him
I think a lot of people can relate. I hope you are better now, but if you are still struggling, you would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
Watching this like every day.
Thank you! I'm glad it could help
I'm so scared of this... I deal with this many times, and I don't think I can't handle it.. The only way would be to breakup with my girl but the thoughts of that happening kill me..
I think a lot of people can relate. I hope you are better now, but if you are still struggling, you would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
My dad left me after he said the words "I'll never leave you". My sister left after saying the same words- not even to college she just kicked me out of her life. And then right when I thought I was done trusting people I met my ex best friend whom i started trusting after pushing him away so many times but he still came back. Then he said he'd never leave me. Then I started having Feelings for him. I told him and he said he felt the same. Then he started ignoring me. Then He left me. After saying the same words from all the other people. It hurt. Still hurts. Now I'm just a ticking bomb so that every time I have an opportunity to cry over my shitty life I do.
I'm so sorry this is happening. I do offer one-on-one counseling if you feel that would be helpful: jodiaman.com/counseling I also have a ton of free video here on RUclips and on my site jodiaman.com Keep reaching out
You have borderline personality disorder and though it probably wasn't your fault with your dad, your abandonment issues are pushing people away.
I have anxiety attacks and trust issues and also bipolar disorder,so the emotional swings makes the anxiety waves even more insane, it's really not good for the physical health either. and jusst going out to the grocery stores stresses me out. I can't even call the taxi. Always second guessing ,what if I had anxiety attacks while shopping and people stare at me wierdly,what if no one cared and mistreated me,what if there was a earthquake...it's hopeless.
There is hope. Here are some of my resources! jodiaman.com/anxiety
@@doctorjodi thank you.
Thank you for this video
You are very welcome!
Ever since my dad got cancer and died I have had trust issues. It's been 8 years now and I'm 16. I can't trust my family and u don't want to. I don't know what to do because they get offended that I don't trust them but in reality I'm scared they are going to die or leave. so I tend to keep myself to myself and spend time alone. I envy families because I never had one in my childhood. my mother has remarried and now I have a step dad. It's so hard to try and be a normal family because of my issues. ah I don't know what to do.
Your isolation is making things worse. Get close to people. Grief is easier and less complex if you are close to a person than if you kept your distance!
Thank thank thank u sm for helping me understand how I was feeling
I'm so glad it was helpful for you!
Thank you soo much!, I hope this helps me😊
I'm so glad it helped. :)
This helped me thank you so much☺️
I'm glad it was helpful!
This helped me so much.......Thank u so much....🥺
Glad it helped!
Thank you so much.
You are welcome. I hope it helped!
I've been dating this guy for year and I have trust issues and jealousy know really want to overcome it because I love him but I feel like if I start trusting him I'm just gonna get stabbed in the back and then when I see a girl and stuff I just get super jealous I don't even know what to do.. kinda hate myself..I wanna stop but I can't!Yes I will maybe stop mentioning things to him but I still feel that way I still get upset and stuff I wish I could just not worry about anything.
I hear you. I talk about this a bit more in this video: ruclips.net/video/yV8HkYyWAeI/видео.html
You should check out my video I did it on trust issues, if you need anymore advice :) also sub 4 sub ?
yes i needed this
+Elin Watford So glad I can offer it to you!
+Jodi Aman im a gay guy and i have boyfriend now he's a good boyfriend how will i get my past trust issues
+Jaharmony thompson Watch this: ruclips.net/video/7spjSs0OQPU/видео.html. If you need additional support you can schedule a time to Skype with me here: jodiaman.com/counseling/
I dont trust because i know what im capable of.
Deep af
You would like my book Anxiety, I'm So Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
I do not have a problem trusting the one I love. My problem is because my love was hurt he accuses me of things I would never do. The jealousy is out of hand.
Hope this video helped.
thank you .
Glad it was helpful!
Thank You
You are welcome!
You are welcome!
I have trust issues with people
I get it! But all you have to do is trust yourself!
Thank y😊u
Of course! I hope this helped :)
@@doctorjodi yes definitely 👍
There's no room for trusting people in today's society
You only have to trust yourself
how can i convince her that i trust her?
Your best bet is to keep showing her. You won't be able to 'convince' her.
I keep on having nightmares where my stepdad tries to kill me and my sister
Oh my gosh.
@@doctorjodi well it stopped so yay
can sombody explain trust issues in a relationship ?
This is a far and wide topic my dear. Trust issues are not a thing in themselves. They come from a context. You'd have to be more specific.
+Jodi Aman like what are the symptoms of trust issues in a relationship?
depends on what side you are asking about. Accusing someone of being untrustworthy, needing reassurance, control issues can be trust issues. Insecurity. Low self esteem.
Does this shit work I’m self sabotaging everything 😭😭😭
Yes!
Does getting an MVP in counter strike count? (no im not trolling i actually came here for s legitimate reason.)
yes, it counts!
everyone is cheating on ever body so yes I have trust issues
I’m 12
Hi Gavin, you may want to check out this video with your parents... jodiaman.com/blog/7-ways-help-kids-anxiety/ :)
Me:
You might like my book Anxiety, I'm so Done with You! amzn.to/2zudoHZ
I can't trust my ownself
Be the person you can trust and you will. Be the person you need yourself to be.
Thank you so much for this video, I subscribed!
Thank you!