How to REMOVE TOXIC PEOPLE from Your Life
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- Do you have someone toxic in your life - someone who treats you disrespectfully, who is argumentative, manipulative, inconsiderate, abusive, who is always creating conflict, taking advantage of your kindness, finding fault or belittling you? I'd like to offer you a way free your life of these kinds of people.
Never let them know how it affects you. Best to walk away. If you can't walk away try using it as your training ground for presence. The lighter you get mentally the more they will be uneasy in your presence. Talk less . Interact less. Don't take them seriously. Don't give them the reaction that they crave. Become a tree in their presence. All these are secondary measures . The best way is to walk away and not listen to that ego in you that wants to engage the drama.
Thank you.. Great advice.. Love it.. God bless.❤🧡💙💜💚💛🦋🦋🦋
so well said @jaguarfocus, gosh, thanks
Such GREAT advice - appreciate this so much! Thank you!
make-like-a-treeNleaf-outt 🔥
You gave me great tools🤗
I worked for thirty years in a government job with some very toxic, backward, and unevolved human amoebas.
My life has so blossomed since that day I finally walked away from that monkey cage. Now that I'm free, there is no way I will tolerate
negative, jealous, and competitive people in my space.
I feel the same. 4 more years I retire. It's hard to free yourself when you have to be around it.
But I'm almost there I'm better at ignoring it
@@stundorn5511 Good move, the next best thing is to walk away from there.
@@stundorn5511 I wish you all the good things possible in this life.
So very true! My sentiments are exactly the same after 6 years of service in the military. I have 19 days left and I'm counting every second.
@@bric9244 I wish you all the good things possible in this life. Make the most of your new start.
The psychologist Ross Rosenberg says: "don't wrestle with the pigs, you might get dirty and they like it!"
I am going to save this as a reminder. Thank you.
Yep. And Lisa A Ramano and Richard Grannon.We’ve probably been dealing with the same type of person. Blessings to you ☮️🙏☮️
It's a known saying by George Bernard Shaw
I do like pigs though, they are so sweet and intelligent and beautiful 🐽 but I get what you’re saying x
o i like that lol
I have one friend. He is really good. Back in the day I used to have alot more, but they stole energy from me. I removed them all from my life.
@Pamela Payne my toxic parents are dead and I also cut out my toxic siblings. I was abused in every single way possible.
@@UpFromUnder6 It is hard to explain that to people, but I understand exactly what you mean.
@@bernadette573 Thank you. Still trying to find closure. They were/are horrible people! I have been told by a few people that they couldn’t believe I was actually part of that family!
Not giving into their toxicity is easy enough, not giving into our own is the hard part.
Great point! We just did a video on this. It’s always been a question. Why do some people choose a lower vibration every day?
@@KikiAndJeffreyPearl What is the best way to raise my vibration ?
@@fishfire_2999 Gratitude for even the simplest things which when you are grateful for even your breath or your heart that beats on it's own are very magical in raising your vibration. We also love meditation first thing in the morning--one of our favorites is Johnathan Lehmann Morning Meditation--listen to that for 30 consecutive days before you get out of bed and I guarantee you will feel the vibrational lift. Surround yourself with high vibrational people.
@@KikiAndJeffreyPearl Thanks Karen , were you referring to the French meditation guy , or the Sharing Gods wisdom guy ?
@@fishfire_2999 I’m not sure if I can put his link in as often comments with links get deleted so look on RUclips and search Johnathan Lehmann Morning Meditation. It’s 10 minutes and if you listen to it for 30 mornings it is a life changer on perspective 🙏. I’ll post the link in a second reply in case it deletes the post so you still have this information
It's hard when your family is toxic, and you spend your life trying to love them and forgive them just to constantly get screwed. Knowing the whole time you would be better completely away from them.
I really love how he said "I don't put up with that shit" well said!!!!
Its very hard when the toxic person is your mother who is elderly and lives on her own and is fragile physically and emotionally. Its a lot easier to walk away from somebody not related to you. Severe restricted contact is the only other way.
I've been doing a lot of this lately. Finally. After way to long. Family friends. And I started realizing why I was attracting toxic relationship s because it's all I knew I finally realized I grew up in a toxic family and that's my comfort zone. I've burned those bridges too and I have to be OK with that. I work at learning more about the ways I have invited toxic people in. I've built more self respect and love with working in therapy and working on slf awareness. I'm recognizing how I've been toxic as well. It's so confusing but worth the self work
Congrats. It is so hard but so worth it.
My family was hugely toxic, and I had the same problems for a long time. The problem is that it seems "normal" because unfortunately, you've become too habituated to the toxicity.
Some people do apologize and tell you they wont betray you and then go on to betray you.
" fools me once , shame on you. Fools me twice, shame on me......"
It's like the story about the 🐸 frog & 🦂 scorpion
Got rid of a toxic ex friend because I respect myself more than before, I recognise my own worth value and I’m a work in unending progress❤️
BRAVO!!!
I recently quit my job as a homecare provider because my client was verbally abusive, constantly berating me over trivial things and non-issues, telling me lies about myself that were belittling and degrading. Long story short: this person can find someone else to clean her poop off the floor and do her drudge work.
Good idea...there are certain older women who are in that constant criticism mode...
She sounds like a nutter.
You deserve better than that.
@@jbenno7021 Thank you.
It's easy to remove toxic people from your life. I use two words that describe the action they need to take in no uncertain terms.
You mean, "Fuck off"?! hahaha! Bravo.
Good bye?? 😅
Friends are actually the best reflection of ourselves especially when we don't know ourselves enough , if one works on oneself and raise the vibration to a higher energy level with more positively , the negativities automatically stays away.
I agree that sometimes the biggest mistake, is that we don't realize our own toxicity.
Things are so much easier if we just simply focus on the "self" than focusing on other people
I'm trying to grasp what your saying, you mean to focus on oneself?
@@kieransimpson4965 yes, which mean changing oneself’s mindset .
I agree
Best advice 👍
Amazing when you do you never look back
Respect ourself and stop negative self talk.
Removing our own toxicity
I am a Hoyoka Empath and I have "attracted" toxic/narscistic people my whole life. I am in the "final chapter" of this lesson. I have been living with a toxic) narscistic nightmare for a while and I recognize that I chose this to see that I don't owe this toxic person anything! I chose to love myself unconditionally and the next chapter in my life is opening now. We are here to give God glory and to grow closer to Him by learning from each situation we choose. I am grateful to be self aware. Most people today are toxic and "dead in spirit". I choose to be divine love and light in a dark world full of ignorant/lost souls. Praise God. Hallelujah 💖💕💓
I just left a toxic relationship and am empathic and have the same problem. I pick my closest people, partners and friends, poorly. I am holing away until I learn to stop that in myself. Thier toxicity makes me toxic, I used to go on rants at my narc X partner. I felt this need to defend or negotiatite or fix, dig for apologies. I need to practice this, not taking it personal. Seriously such a good lesson. Best to you and everyone going through this self love journey.
The best advice I've heard for a long time, "the level of respect we receive from others, is proportional to the level of respect we have of ourselves"... I suspected this before but didn't trust my gut feeling.
It's a little more complicated when a paycheck is at stake.
“I don’t put up with that shit” 😫😂😂
In meditation i was pondering why a past friend acted like she was better than others and when i stood my ground on my on behalf she attacked and used everything to tear me down,downright nasty. I heard from my inner being, " whats sad is when you feel less and you were matched with her because you feel less than others which is what's really underneath her facade of narcissism,lack of self love,and it clicked. I absolutely love it when i find my blind spots, because it means I'm less likely to be manipulated for it. The work has paid off big time 🙌 I finally love myself and absolutely enjoy being in my own company. Bless all of you here😍💚
Or people that continually find fault in themselves, convincing them otherwise is a fools game.
I wouldn't say we attract them, there are just so many of them they're actually hard to avoid.
Agreed.
I'm one of them, trying to make it less of an issue as I age
@@BeautifulZeroUK, it takes tons of courage to (1) own it and (2) make the change. Good on you for trying!
Exactly 💯. You ENTERTAIN who you are, but you can’t control who’s attracted to you! By that logic everyone is toxic! We’ll all come across toxic people at some point unless we live a sheltered, isolated life. That’s why boundaries and self-love are key❤️❤️
I believed so much that I can change toxic people around me. Then it comes to the point where I feel like Im just being completely ignored and I decided to leave those people and carefully select friends. Unfortunately, ppl call this introverted and antisocial...
Why do you care what people say?
I experienced they come back in various ways , like through your kids
My biggest mistake was to always forgive and forget knowing they are toxic but thinking i could keep the boundarues and manage , nope you can t
My dad is toxic and this video makes so much sense. I’m going to just ignore him and stop feeding into his toxic behavior towards me. Thank you
Sometimes letting go is difficult due to things like family dynamics but you are wise to release what doesn’t serve regardless of who they are. You must keep your energy high and share that with others who are also living at a higher vibration❤️.
@@KikiAndJeffreyPearl couldn’t agree more thank you for the positive message
@@jeffgo5742
Its a bit tricky, if you married someone and then a couple of years later they then begin to disrespect or disregard you.
Mandy Haynes_leave
I'd say, if you haven't got kids, get out. For me it's been a long 17 years.
Often times your spouse has been doing it in subtle ways maybe a way that you have been a custom to and then it escalate something that you're not used to becomes more obvious.
'I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me. I'll talk to you about this another time' (walks away).
In, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
,
by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver, one of the principles I remember is the importance of having influence over your partner. If you are held in contempt or disdain by a partner, your thoughts and opinions are not worthy of an equal vote or contribution in decision making. Unless big changes happen, the direction is more inclined to disintegrate than fall upwards. I finally left and only regret not having done it sooner.
great video...both my parents are soooo toxic, energy vampires, border line psychopathic...yet, as they are both 80, I take care of them and live with my mom (they are divorced but live close)...so it is at times difficult to 'stay away'....I am blessed to have found this extremely peaceful channel, thank you universe.
I listen to this once every month. It automatically comes in my list. I am having a hard time not being people pleaser. But I m healing slowly.
Stopped speaking to abusive family members. They said that's not the way this family operates. I have to continue taking abuse, physical, mental, emotional and manipulation.
Then I though hang on a sec. .. nah. Breathe. Happier without them. Peace.
"Family operates" scary. Run & don't look bk.
This video gave me an epiphany. Externally, I'm not a toxic person. I don't harass, use or manipulate others, but when you spoke of the toxicity within that attracts toxicity from others, a light came on in me. I've been aware for years that I far too often dwell on negative thoughts, i.e., what others have done to me, the negativity and evil in the world. I've tried for many years to free myself from these thoughts. I'm so grateful for this video, to have a revelation while listening to you. I realize now that I held onto those negative thoughts of others as a way to keep buried the negative thoughts that deep down I have about myself. This is VERY painful for me to realize. I'm crying while typing this. I'm going to use this as a starting point to focus more honestly on what's really inside of me, to heal and become stronger mentally and emotionally. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom. You are truly doing good works.
Came back to this encouragement a few times. It took me decades to truly embrace this and live it. Very difficult when family members, but possible from this place.
So true. We must first look for toxicity in ourselves. Once we take off our blinders and work that out, walk away from others with toxic behavior.
I'm happy to say I no longer have toxic people in my life. I'm learning to trust my feelings and respect myself when I just don't want someone in my life. I used to feel guilty when I cut people off, but now I see the importance of putting my wellbeing first.
Much love to all in the comment section!
I have never understood how some people can be purposely mean and act as if what they did or said wasn't wrong. They have no shame in their actions.
I wonder if the 9 people who gave this video a thumbs down realize this video is about them
By now it's FOURTEEN thumbs down! hahaha
@@leftykeys6944 15 now, funny how a nearly 3 year video suddenly gets this kind of attention
@@denniss3980 -- HILARIOUS, albeit mystifying!
I find this talk very straight up!
Thank you so much! I notice my very unhealthy tendency to beg for attention from people who really do not appreciate me. I am going to listen again to this simple, clear message. It is strengthening!
What if the toxic people are my own family
if u have ur private room in house stay there play video games also enjoy walking alone in nature and be yourself always , and don't talk to anyone at home. it work, you'll save so much energy to ur self.
Bless you x
Mickal_they usually are family
I grew up in a narcissistic family....that's the worse. There are experts on this on RUclips...narcissists are real psiychopaths, the only way is to run away as soon as possible in that case
@@flaviodelladioband127 yes.. but see them as teachers how not to let them drain or manipulate you and even possibly you need to leave them could be your biggest lifelesson...
This is very good advice. I distanced myself from a toxic person, but cannot fully walk away because of our child. Your insight helps tremendously, thank you so much Nada.
I just cut two out. Ugh, not alot of friends left haha
Edit: lonely but happy/content.
learn to be your own best friend. Feels uncomfortable at first but gradually you will love it.
@@vangielee7929 yes.. im there.
You deserve better friends than that.
It's better to be healthy alone than sick in company
Same for me here atm
I thought about this and I feel like often I don’t trust my instincts, like I will feel uneasy with the way I’m being treated but then I will sort of think “oh maybe I’m being over sensitive” and I can’t always tell? So I just carry on being nice, and it happens again and I feel uneasy again.
I would say when it’s more clear cut abuse I definitely have a stronger barrier these days though, which is good x
Lack of respect for ourselves? I agree 💯 being unworthy! Thank you for bringing this to my attention. So appreciate what I have learned from you today
I learned a lot about myself being in a relationship with a narcissist. Painful but lesson learned.
Respect and compassion is not how i feel for them in the moment. I struggle feeling that for a parent who shows me none. Hate that im reactionary instead of responding. Hate that it still gets me, especially since im trying to do better. My mom does not like me much. She has her moments when she is nice, usually when she needs something from me
Thank you for this. I have to let go of a toxic family member. I have put in 50 years of trying. I think I have tried enough.
I think this is such great advice. It took me 2 years to learn and recognise how to deal with a toxic relationship as I was so vulnerable from losing my husband. But I think by learning it such a hard way I'll not allow myself to respond to another's toxicity again. ..hopefully x
Same as you, no problems burning the bridges and not looking back. No need to hold on to anything or anyone at all. I have let go of anything within me that would have kept me attached to any specific thing or person for certain reasons. Deep work resolves many of those reasons, then boom, goodbye toxic person without a thought.
My exnarc wife, what a wicked, madness, you start getting toxic been for long periods of time with them. Just leave them alone not worth it they're dangerous.
Finding it very hard to push away my narcissistic mother. Your other video on Is self love narcissism, I started trying to figure out what happened to her & felt sorry for her a lil. Now I feel like she had been brainwashing me to believe she really loves me although her actions prove otherwise. CPTSD relapse is kicking my butt without being able to get away from her, covid stopped evictions. The right trauma therapy came late. It has manifested itself physically, cortisol... I let my guard down during surgeries & the pain prescriptions. Awake again for 5 years now still trying to get over flashbacks, guilt & shame while loving myself again. Trying to digest everything that has conspired has strengthened me in some ways but make me feel that I'm not as loving in general as I was. Thank you so much for your videos ✌❤
this is so excellent!!! I've been seemingly bombarded with toxic people---family and old friends. I guess it's been a growing concern since I've been finding my self -value, finally. My responses can be toxic as I learn this new me and this new way. I see this and I love myself thru it. There is soooo much to cultivate here, so I'll listen a few more times. Thanx for shining this light on this area!
All your videos are really solutions to my daily life problems. Thank you : ).
It’s really freaking me out how your videos will show up on my feed while I’m dealing with these exact problems personally and among my friends, please know that your videos serve a great purpose that I know you intended for them to. Thank you
Pardon my stroke at the end.
Aftr 2 yrs of a much loved relationship, i found myself running away literally leaving the other no clue. I dnt know how an energy packed relationship turned to be so toxic wherein often i felt suffocated and enslaved.
As our feelings within grow to a state of bulletproof self love and self worth so does our outlook-perhaps your outlook just evolved?
If you react to toxicity of other people than you become part of it - Eckhart Tolle
Thank you Awaken Insight. I really appreciate your satsangs. I love your energy and your presence. Blessings upon you. 🙏🏻
I'm not sure if there are toxic people. Most of them just reveal our own mistakes.
I have a great problem with people who in turn have a problem with themselves. I can feel that and suffer from their own dissatisfaction. Mostly they don't do me anything really bad but I cannot deal with them in a relaxed way. They infect me with their own inner unrest.
Indeed this is my problem and not theirs.
I live with a guy since 2006, never married. His Mom who is a psychologist told me to stop criticizing him and do all house hold responsibilities. She then told me I should go get therapy, seek aid through local charities like Catholic charities, get on Medicaid. But don't be dependent on her son, that would be wrong thing to do. She told me to get off his back and that most of my physical pain was in my head, not in my body. I told her I would try to leave, and I know how much she loves her son. She was happy that I seemed to understand her suggested advice to me. I have no way to leave and my auto-immune disorder never qualified me for disability, I applied 3x's. I feel none of his family approve of me, and my family and friends would probably agree with her also since she is a psychologist.
Once you have found strength in ones own self love and self respect one can loosely engage the people with toxic patterns to shine light , gently to help heal them. If you shut them out completely they begin to breed with other people with toxic patterns and the toxic web expands. This is not good for everyone. So we must keep inoculating the love and kindness toward them . Love and live on.
I believe you are who you are and people do not change. I believe shitty people will be shitty no matter what you do for them.
Thank you, great advice :) often, it`s all really easy in the end when you keep following your intuition
Preach.
It is refreshing to hear bullshit is bullshit.
It took 50 years to throw off the weight of an abusive childhood that used conservative religion as the club.
Why should I play by the rules if they don't? Who decided that I am the sacrificial lamb?
I'm still working on the not taking things personally.
Thank you for your wisdom.
Thx for the magic of change.
Thank you for sharing your most high wisdom,,,,it shall help man,,,,,,,ny self included,,,,peace
Yes, I’ve decided to stop entertaining them anymore. I don’t have any time and energy to waste on them.
Way right on dude. Crazy good advice. I'm taken it.
You don't have to look for love when it's where your coming from.
Have to admit, toxic people are the perfect mirrors to show what is wrong. But that's about it.
There is some one disrespecting me at present. So, I need this. I dont need them I can get toxic, but put it under control. But I do not deserve the treatment I am getting. But, I dont have a low opinion on myself. I am ok, just fine.
Thank you. I appreciate your helping and healing ideas.
An awful lot of people can't handle the expectations of people they have in their lives. If you call people toxic because they are dependent on you to take care of business and become agitated because you don't, don't call them toxic, Call yourself lazy, or a drug addict, or whatever the truth is. Most problems can be addressed in the mirror.
You're so that kid I sat next to in Jr.. Luv the channel.
So I reckon it's a huge compliment that my ex narc found me "SOOOOO boring...!"
best video that i ve ever seen,helped me more than any psyhchologist before
The world is full of toxicity. It's easy to love the loveable. The real challenge is to keep loving the "unlovable ". While keeping boundaries.
It's the yin and yang. The dark the light. The heavy the light as a feather.
The easiest way to get rid of those in our lives is draw boundaries and keep them.
Your story makes a lot of sense. Only one note: Real narcs can feel very ashamed but not guilty.
You are truly God sent❤ TY so much for this much needed wisdom. Many thanks Brother 🙏
This is so powerful message 😇Thank you 🙏
I can't have understanding for a drug addict. I understand you.
It's hard to deal with when they are in laws or close family members.I try to avoid them.
I love this video the most! I did do the same. I walked away after 22 years. Still, I get the flashbacks of abuse that I took. I am not physically there. It's just the old energy leaving slowly. I write a lot, read, go for walks, try to relax.
A great way to empower yourself is to study the drama triangle: persecutor, rescuer, victim. It represents the game that is perpetrated to avoid intimacy. This is part of transactional analysis theory (games people play -Eric Berne)
You are a beautiful being, thank you for all your videos. Each one is a gem💕⚘
Yes I can see the magic, it's the exact right move.
Thank you for being you!
I chuckled when you said "I don't put up with that shit" hahaha
Thank you Nada. Just found this video now and just at the right time. You must have suffered pain in your life to become this wise. God bless your beautiful heart.
On the surface it may make since to just walk away and never look back from toxic people. I was a toxic person and an alcoholic years ago, but I had an awakening and made a 180 degree turn. Now I realize the good friend I had who walked away will never have anything to do with me as he ghosted me. I also won't initiate a new friendship with that person again. So to be a whole person I accept my own past faults in my ex friends place who is unable to do so.
helpful, so my own toxicity at play too -when i'm treated like shit, new one, tks
I come to this video just after leaving an 8-year relationship with an abusive partner. Even after stop being partners and ready to go to therapy and hopefully medication, I'm still attached to her as a friend where the damage caused is not acknowledged. These thoughts are helpful about it.
Yes, I did say I can't be around him if he is in that "state".
Thank you!! I really find your videos very grounded n yet enlightening and gvng the right guidance just when I need it.
This content is of utmost value to me personally. Thank you.
Negative people need help they are sick in a area of thire lives
We need to learn to teach them and show a mirror to them in helping
We are not here just for a easy road but the greatest things are the hardest things
I wish I found your knowledge earlier in my life. It could help me to save some tears and money. Lol. Fortunately, this is helping me to confirm my decision to work on myself first then remove toxic relationship from my life. Thanks so much for sharing all your wisdom.
Lovely wisdom. Thank you.
I see Jesus in you.. Blessed Soul..light to you..may it protect you too..
omg you mean we could be imperfect? I have lost interest in drama ,conflict ,disrespect etc..because they are painful experiences .
When a relationship is right there is no drama-there is comfort ❤️
dude love this guy why does this person treat me like shit? why do i put up with it...def didn't expect him to curse but makes me laugh when i hear it. Great advice
I have a simple way to sum up a toxic person if you aren't sure. Here is what I tell my subs --why you should end a friendship. Many times people simply change--you aren't at 35 what you were at 20 and maybe you have nothing in common. Or maybe the person is toxic or in my case we both were and I changed and left a few behind from my old life. But it comes down to this. Do you dread seeing the person and are relieved when you leave? Toxic. Are they a substance abuser? Leave if they won't quit it. Do they carry positivity or negativity with them. If negative--leave. Finally--do they enhance your life? If no then leave. The leaving part is only an uncomfortable few minutes. The relief is long term. Hope that helps---Charles
Thank you for this video. :)
Thank you
Thank you so much for your content. It blesses my life.
Great advice! We must focus on our own self love, then gratitude and move out from there.......
Thank you for the tools to use against toxic people, especially the one that makes them sting inside.