The Capacity to be ALONE is the Capacity to LOVE

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  • Опубликовано: 27 авг 2018
  • "Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love." -Erich Fromm. In this video I explain the meaning of this quote, and why it's so important to embrace aloneness in order to love more deeply and authentically.
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    Background Music:
    "Still" by Those of Willow
    (Creative Commons Attribution)
    #relationships #codependency #loneliness

Комментарии • 465

  • @urbansetter1
    @urbansetter1 4 года назад +422

    Painful stuff. Takes years to learn self love when you come from trauma. I am getting there.

    • @susanvandenbergh7276
      @susanvandenbergh7276 4 года назад +33

      Indeed, but keep up the good work and thank, congratulate and bless yourself 100 times per day and also look at yourself in a mirror and say: I deeply, profoundly love, accept, appreciate and trust myself. And never beat yourself up for anything ! Love, courage and blessings, Susan

    • @urbansetter1
      @urbansetter1 4 года назад +8

      @@susanvandenbergh7276 Thank you for your kind words. I needed the encouragement. I hope you love yourself. Best in your life.

    • @drew-shourd
      @drew-shourd 4 года назад +13

      ...especially when your parents parents parents had no clue, so naturally your parents parents and your parents knew nothing of this insight (I speak about my own family btw).....I am sooooooooo blessed to hear these things and MORE importantly share these videos with friends and family....this gentleman takes pieces of Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Shamanism and more and calmly lays them out. in a peaceful format....so brilliant this cat is....

    • @thirumalkumartv1461
      @thirumalkumartv1461 4 года назад +4

      God bless🙏

    • @oneness1119
      @oneness1119 3 года назад +11

      Im going through it too with abusive family. You're not alone

  • @pointless8675
    @pointless8675 3 года назад +72

    7:57 _Your happiness is no one else's responsibility, and as long as you put that responsibility on someone else, not only is that selfish and unfair, but it's going to lead to disappointment every time._

  • @marciahenriquez4605
    @marciahenriquez4605 3 года назад +58

    Spiritual people love to be alone! It is needed for keeping a good balance in their lives, people that love themselves don't beg love, they give love because they are happy to share what they have.

    • @sigrid3553
      @sigrid3553 Год назад +2

      Beautiful comment! ❤Thanks, I so much agree!

  • @Memegirl716
    @Memegirl716 3 года назад +162

    So true. This is why I’m single until I learn to fully accept all of this. We are taught by movies, society, family toxic traits. It’s easier said then done sooo I think I will just marry myself. Because I’m fine with myself lol

    • @patriciaking7892
      @patriciaking7892 3 года назад +6

      Goddess, you're very wise👍.

    • @susanmoran5226
      @susanmoran5226 3 года назад +2

      I think I will marry myself too. Lol.

    • @Memegirl716
      @Memegirl716 3 года назад +3

      @@em6855 love is love. So I feel if they have good character go for it.

    • @Memegirl716
      @Memegirl716 3 года назад +1

      @@patriciaking7892 thank you love

    • @nigelfoley6200
      @nigelfoley6200 3 года назад +4

      I think you've made a very wise decision Goddess, I've been happily married to myself for 5 years now lol.

  • @pollyholly1000
    @pollyholly1000 Год назад +5

    People are removed from your life when you're ready to find out who you really are. True happiness is found in acceptance of what is. ♥️

  • @dianethomas7149
    @dianethomas7149 3 года назад +18

    It took me until the age of 50 that I understood this! Self worth is an inside job! Thank you!

  • @lumb.2565
    @lumb.2565 3 года назад +108

    It took so much heart break and pain to realize this 😔
    I got married because I was pressured by my family, I was unhappy and afraid to leave.
    Now 24 years later I have realised that it's ok to leave, to be alone, to be free of judgement. Started divorce procedure and I am happy to finally be Me.

  • @gracesanity6314
    @gracesanity6314 4 года назад +134

    Yes. We are so programmed by family, society, movies, songs, to be miserable. Tough stuff truth. Tough to live the truth of what you say, but its sanity. Thank you.

    • @drew-shourd
      @drew-shourd 4 года назад +7

      The most beautiful of blossoms, grows threw the worst of environments" - d.s. ...which is why the lotus blossom has been so highly regarded to many ancient civilizations....ancient Egyptian and much more....

    • @DOLFINOWOLF
      @DOLFINOWOLF 3 года назад +5

      Grace.... great name btw;) PROGRAMED.... our ego our fears our unconscious hopes dreams ideas & Beliefs get TANGLED up with THEIR ego THEIR fears THEIR Unconscious HOPES DREAMS IDEAS & BELIEFS..... " i " find at 63 that the REASON a Sage is Wise 🦉 is due to LACK of OTHERS and in doing so one Avoids " THEIRs " so that You Can POLISH YOURself;) & noTangleMENTs;)
      I've never been More-HERE & in-Touch with my Deep Inner Self..... The Silence after 45 years of sharing space / being married is UNBELIEVABLY PHENOMENAL..... I can actually FEEL MySELF be more-connected to ME and it's Awesome... Now I did have to cut my moms sister brother daughter & son off BUT the SHANGRI-LA I've now Discovered is LIMITLESS......👍👍👍👍🦉

    • @betterapproachtolife.motiv3265
      @betterapproachtolife.motiv3265 3 года назад +3

      Truth is the hardest thing to live .. but brings the most joy

  • @Apanthertrappedinadogsworld
    @Apanthertrappedinadogsworld 3 года назад +216

    I just came across your channel yesterday and I am finding a lot of comfort in your words. Thank you so much

  • @elisabethn7962
    @elisabethn7962 3 года назад +10

    Took me 50 years. I got it now and am much happier. Been alone for three years and love it and have more peace.

  • @darinjames3313
    @darinjames3313 3 года назад +88

    YES......Owner of a lonely Heart......Much better than a owner of a broken ❤.......WE came here alone.....WE leave that way too......Im learning more about being alone, year after year now. I ve learned I cant trust or depend on anyONE but me......and the stuff that gave me life.....The Universe shows me daily that Im really never alone. I truly want for nothing anymore but to have peace until I go back to where I came from...Materialism no longer matters....and superficial relationships are meaningless. So for now.....I look to my Body-Mind & Spirit to get me through this thing WE call life on 🌎.......Thank you Brother for creating these videos.....in the hopes of peace within......and then on 🌎....

    • @carolmoore1038
      @carolmoore1038 3 года назад +10

      He's not at all saying you have to live without love or that you shouldn't Trust or shouldn't be in love. He's talking about how the fear of being alone prevents that. You will know you've reached a place of emotional maturity when you can give love and not be afraid how it's going to turn out, not be hurt if it doesn't work out the way that you want. And then what you need to do is find someone else who has emotional maturity that wants to give you love. That it's beautiful. Take it from someone who lived through many years of hurt and is now had 17 years of joy

    • @darinjames3313
      @darinjames3313 3 года назад

      @@numberone6266 its ok to feel alone. Its part of the process. Its where we find the depths of who we are....For some, its just temporary, until we find our place. For others, alone is their place. Im slowly entering again...I ve had several questions answered!!!.....ALL ALONE.........with Spirit.....You will too Sweetheart.....Take good care of your Body-Mind & Spirit......Adios

  • @rosamorales-sanchez6801
    @rosamorales-sanchez6801 3 года назад +15

    I decided today to start a new path forward in life to be alone and learn to love life unconditionally. Time to heal. Good luck to everyone who is taking this journey in life. We will find the inner peace in ourselves. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

  • @akhileshmagal
    @akhileshmagal 3 года назад +15

    This topic is a very tricky one. You rightly say love is all about giving without expecting anything in return. But what if our partner doesn't share the same ethic. What if you see that the partner is a constant taker, without any consideration for you and your well being? One may continue to 'love' the partner, but choose to separate because a relationship entails a shared agreement to 'be there for the other'. Think of it this way: Most parents love their children unconditionally - yes - but they expect the children to behave themselves - contribute around the house - study well and so on.
    Love is unconditional only when there is no 'other person'. Example: I love Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
    Love is conditional in the world (people, relationships, events). Example: I love my parents, but I expect to be treated right.
    Be careful of this 'unconditional love' business - it might do more harm than good to you. It might mislead you to believe that one has to constantly give, accept and be emotionally abused. Standing up for yourself and saying no is also self love.

    • @rajashreechadha6
      @rajashreechadha6 Год назад +2

      Nobody other than God can truly love you unconditionally. Those who have a sense of God--spiritually from within--not organised religion pushed from the outside--such people have an easier time and are indeed blessed. But all of us seek His love, we are just looking for it in the wrong place. At some time in life, we are guided to the right direction. All those people who are watching this video are being guided by a higher power, whether the know it or not.

    • @thepowerofyourtrueself4794
      @thepowerofyourtrueself4794 Год назад

      Yes, I understand your issue here, as I used to give unconditionally to other people with my acts of kindness and majority were taken for granted not giving anything back, only thinking of their own selfish interests and when I needed their help with something they would turn their back on me - I had to learn to set some boundaries around myself and expect equal energy exchange, meaning you just don't give and give and give without actually thinking of your own needs, otherwise it becomes abuse, but, I understand what the author of the videos was trying to say and its overall message and its value. Best wishes for the future 🙏❤

  • @sunshinecompany1
    @sunshinecompany1 3 года назад +22

    I hear you...🙂have been living like a hermit for almost 3 yrs now...overcoming fear of being alone. I have used relationships along with many other things to distract myself from unhealed pain.🙄 tired of running...and facing it was horrible...
    But not as bad as I thought it would be! I did NOT get permanently swallowed up by a big back abyss!😉

    • @jkphsgme8b
      @jkphsgme8b 3 года назад +2

      I’m so glad to hear this Susan. I am beginning to embark on this alone journey as well. There are still days where I feel utter terror at the thought.

    • @sunshinecompany1
      @sunshinecompany1 3 года назад +3

      @@jkphsgme8b sometimes I can only sit with it a few seconds before I have to distract myself...other times longer...and that's ok 🙂 learning new skills takes practice...it gets easier and easier!!🦋 be a kind and nurturing friend to yourself 💘

  • @heidiholmes1549
    @heidiholmes1549 3 года назад +9

    I suffer from abandonment issues. One of other things. 14 years ago I had cancer and went through treatment. Which led to my awakening. I had so many toxic people in my life. A lot of people that I loved me hurt me in very traumatic ways. I realized that I was giving so much to people with expectations. It came from a place of low self esteem and trauma from my childhood. Right now I'm trying to live on my own. It hasn't been easy. Especially with Covid. I seperated from my husband because I realized that I married him for the wrong reasons. There are some toxic things between us. I'm in serious trauma recovery program. Everything you said is so true. I'm trying to get through this lesson as best as I can. Thank you for your much needed wisdom. 🙏

    • @RR-qu2oz
      @RR-qu2oz 3 года назад

      Love and blessings ⭐

    • @Lynne-28
      @Lynne-28 Год назад

      ☀️🍀Love & Light🍀☀️

  • @paulahensley5164
    @paulahensley5164 3 года назад +22

    I’m a traveling nurse - spending a lot of time alone. I think of it more as solitude.
    Thank you. ❤️

    • @denise4590
      @denise4590 3 года назад

      Hope you're warm and safe ✨🌸

  • @samantha5600
    @samantha5600 3 года назад +39

    Add to this being in abusive relationships. Its so important to become self actualized and feel whole, alone. I can now see all the ways I have contributed to codependency but I no longer NEED someone to validate my existence.
    All the love to those of you working on this. ❤

    • @sigrid3553
      @sigrid3553 Год назад

      Thank you, I send you love ❤

  • @thabangnukeri6622
    @thabangnukeri6622 3 года назад +49

    I found this at a time I needed to hear it.

  • @rajashreechadha6
    @rajashreechadha6 Год назад +2

    So so true. After finding my spiritual path after 25 years of being in an abusive marriage I just love being alone. That's because God has always been with me, my internal conversations are with Him. And His love is absolutely beautiful and unconditional. Thankyou for your wisdom and each of us comes to this point of inner peace sometime on their journey through life. Or in another lifetime...

  • @mmgibson1
    @mmgibson1 3 года назад +40

    I now feel reassured that it is quite okay for me to live alone and not be "in a relationship" with the big holidays about to descend upon us. I did already know that I was in the crowd of those that are authentic spiritually, but there are times when I am under such bombardment wherever I go about the whole Norman Rockwell fireplace scene with your loved ones during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's eve that I have to be reminded that I am doing all right by myself.

    • @susanmoran5226
      @susanmoran5226 3 года назад +3

      You are doing right. The family around the tree thing for many is overrated. Normally , around this time of year I go on a retreat to a Buddhist monastery. It's great being with all those other single people. Happy to be single.
      Norman Rockwell, painted idealist paintings, some are very nice. But they are too perfect sometimes.
      Enjoy your freedom . Fly free little bird.

  • @wanderingneone
    @wanderingneone 3 года назад +7

    spot on
    I rather be completely alone, then being in a lonely relationship :-)

  • @KJ-pu8dw
    @KJ-pu8dw 2 года назад +3

    Self love just isn’t a realistic prospect for me. Instead I focus on self acceptance. Also I have found that being lonely doesn’t mean you are alone. For 5 years I have been single and not lonely, unlike the last 4 years of my marriage. I reflect on how my childhood traumas and onwards have afflicted my relationships and I focus on fixing myself into a better man.

  • @semayildirimesquire3213
    @semayildirimesquire3213 3 года назад +47

    Your wisdom is gold. Your voice so soothing💜 You calmed my spirit this morning. Thank you for being a blessing to all of us.

  • @planetmchanic6299
    @planetmchanic6299 3 года назад +8

    You don't have to look for love when it's where your coming from.

  • @martins8761
    @martins8761 3 года назад +10

    You are describing attachment theory. Namely the anxious-avoidant trap. I suggest everyone resonating with this learn attachment theory. It is easy to understand and fascinating.

  • @SKRithvik
    @SKRithvik 3 года назад +27

    This is probably the best video on RUclips man !

    • @Borinquena1973
      @Borinquena1973 3 года назад

      Want to love this video a million times!

  • @thepowerofyourtrueself4794
    @thepowerofyourtrueself4794 Год назад +1

    So valuable the message of "self love and acceptance of self company and finding inner strength from it" - I would only add, that based on my own painful experiences, "giving unconditionally" in a relationship or to other people in general needs to be balanced, otherwise it becomes an abuse. I used to give and give and give unconditionally, which was often taken for granted by self interest and when I needed their help, majority would turn their backs on me - I realised that you do need to think of your own needs, you cannot just putting others above yourself and neglecting yourself in the process whether its emotional or physical. That does not mean you are insecure and needy, but you love yourself fully and from that space you deserve equall energy exchange, you give unconditional love, but you also deserve to receive that unconditional love from another, you don’t want to become someone who "people pleasing" having no regards for its own needs.

  • @1980kebab
    @1980kebab 3 года назад +1

    It's as though you speak from personal experience. You have just described my life. I'm now 40. It took losing my 'soul mate' for me to finally see the truth. A year spent alone, reflecting, exploring, being up and then being down, has finally lead me to a place of inner peace and an abundance of deep and meaningful connections. Everything you said is absolutely spot on. The fear of being alone caused me to bounce from one destructive relationship to another- not anymore. Yes, I'm still single, but that's ok. It's an opportunity, a gift, to be able to understand myself better with the knowledge that he will arrive in my life exactly when he's meant to. I won't have to beg, chase, convince or buy the true love of another. It'll be the most natural and equal connection with an unconditional love, understanding and respect for one another. 🙏 Thank you. 🙌

  • @MC-dz8be
    @MC-dz8be 4 года назад +44

    I love you so much for making sense of the confusion i feel for getting and giving in relationships. I need to fully love myself without conditions before i expect to be with someone else, thank you for instilling that in me with more clarity and understanding

    • @carolmoore1038
      @carolmoore1038 3 года назад

      This is true totally, but also we can't continue to attempt to have relationships with people who are not at that point ready able willing to give love we often get involved with people not deserving. And I'm not saying it's not okay to love those people we should love everyone, but if you give everything of yourself to someone who's going to give you nothing that is not a healthy relationship. It sounds like you're already in the place where you're ready to give love, what you need to do is find a partner who is emotionally mature town and we'll give love returns your romantic love and can give the way that you do. Then you're in a healthy relationship.

    • @MC-dz8be
      @MC-dz8be 3 года назад +2

      @@carolmoore1038 oh for sure, I feel like true love starts with yourself first. It's not always there so I do all that I can to find a balance of changing what I can and accepting what I can't. But no matter what I will always care for myself as if I were an adult looking after a child and I think being in a relationship is no different. I just have to be honest with them and hopefully they are willing to give and work with me as much as I do for them. All and all relationships are meant to help me understand myself more like starting a business you take the risk because you think you have something to offer which could really benefit others and yourself. Otherwise keep trying to refine it until you know how much your worth and know that you won't settle or sell for less than it's worth to make it.

  • @Diana-gt1rv
    @Diana-gt1rv 3 года назад +10

    This is so true! You have to embrace and enjoy being alone with yourself and accept yourself as you are before being able to love somebody else. Love is about giving without seeking something in return. This authentic or unconditional love is the best basis for a happy and long lasting relationship. I myself was lucky to have found unconditional love which is such a wonderful thing. 🥰

  • @AliClaire72
    @AliClaire72 3 года назад +7

    This is me.. 🙁working on my self, learning to love myself

  • @michaelshelden6597
    @michaelshelden6597 3 года назад +16

    This is extremely vital in parenthood when cultivating holistically healthy and happy children. I suffered greatly due to the fact that someone such as my mother who was rarely shown love from family due to losing her parents at t years old and being raised by her siblings and was considered a burden. So it is a cycle that we keep passing down from generation to generation. It has affected every level of my life experience and still processing and transmuting in order to be a healthy self reliable person that is capable of becoming my true self and not allowing it to carry over into future generations. That what a lot of us our doing during our path to awakening. No one's to blame but best believe that you're responsible for healing and ending the cycle especially if it's effecting your life as well as the lives of others negatively! I can see a book in the making brother. Thanks for your light!

    • @danny-li6io
      @danny-li6io 3 года назад +2

      That makes a lot of sense to me. I have had a similar experience with my father since early childhood. I have always harbored feelings of inadequacy and that I am a nuisance, or as he might say, “ a liability, not an asset”. It takes a long time to confront and overcome these feelings. I don’t have children, but I applaud you for trying to heal and overcome AND break that cycle in your lineage!

    • @michaelshelden6597
      @michaelshelden6597 3 года назад

      @@danny-li6io yeah its a very challenging responsibility but we are not what we were told and almost everything we are subject to was created to keep us distracted and powerless. Such as alcohol nicotine and the worst one sugar. Because we feed it to our kids and it affects them in their early years of growth. Sugar is one molecule away from mimicking cocaine. That a idea of why its addictive and no surprise of why it's in 98% of food and beverage products. We live in a world that id like to label so people can get an better understanding but I know how powerful words are and my intentions aren't to add any more fear into the collective. Hope you over and thanks for sharing your story. God bless you that his son is here to assist the warriors of the light. 🙏

  • @sandybeebe9149
    @sandybeebe9149 3 года назад +1

    I LOVE MY ALONE ..I am grateful for my space and my privacy. Its peaceful and quiet . No arguments, no expectations , no demands. Alone I can be my self. impress myself ...

  • @esotericsolitaire
    @esotericsolitaire 3 года назад +4

    So many people cannot be alone with their own thoughts. It is too painful for them.

    • @sunshinecompany1
      @sunshinecompany1 3 года назад +4

      I have forced myself to be alone for almost 3 yrs...terrifying 🙄 but relationships are just more distractions from myself and unhealed baggage
      😉

    • @esotericsolitaire
      @esotericsolitaire 3 года назад +4

      @@sunshinecompany1 yes, we have to have unencumbered time to self reflect and heal.

    • @carolmoore1038
      @carolmoore1038 3 года назад +1

      Yes what were really talking about here can be called emotional maturity. And you can't have emotional maturity until you have faced yourself your life your past your own demons and dealt with them. Because if you don't you're just going to act on repressed emotions. You may not even know why you behave the way you do sometimes. Once you do that you're in a place where you're capable of being in a relationship, but then it's also key and he did mention this, to choose a partner who is also emotionally mature. If you are both emotionally mature, and you both have loved you're going to be so busy trying to give to one another and that you don't worry about taking and you don't have to worry about it because you're going to be giving to each other. if one or more of you has not reached that point your focus is on what you need because you are not filling your own needs. You are perfect putting the burden of them on someone else which is unfair.

    • @esotericsolitaire
      @esotericsolitaire 3 года назад +2

      @@carolmoore1038 we must all eventually do our shadow work to attain new levels. Unfortunately, most people long for justification of their dark sides.

  • @mayurgarde1511
    @mayurgarde1511 3 года назад +19

    Listening you is very peaceful, all worries & fears go way while watching the video...

  • @shortycareface9678
    @shortycareface9678 3 года назад +2

    You perfectly described the conditions of the time before my relationship ended. Only now I can see this. I never believed I would fall into the trap of a co-dependent relationship, but I did. Maybe partially because it is idealized in general society, but I think we both moved too much into fear in the end. Now I am glad to have the opportunity to work on myself independently of a partner.

  • @deborahbarry9421
    @deborahbarry9421 3 года назад +2

    Your words are so true. I know many people I have come across on my path are terribly afraid of being alone for any length of time. They asked me why I am not lonely while being alone, I simply tell them I enjoy my own company, she is wise, she is funny, she is creative, always trying to fill her time productively. And this is what I love about myself. So I tell them what the old monk once said, make a friend of yourself and you will never be alone...These words are true namaste

  • @directedby100
    @directedby100 3 года назад

    This dude is sooo laid back. His insights are great, and very true. Desperation, attachment, are toxic to a healthy relationship. The solution? Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, alone, communing with the great silence. Love comes, strangely, when we've reached such a state of completeness. Pushing for a relationship before that stage is reached is an act of will. D. H. Lawrence describes this very well, that willfulness is anathema to love.
    Yes, embrace being alone, get very relaxed and accepting of that state, and almost prefer it, then love almost magically arrives.

  • @ElmoKnowsWhereYouLive5150
    @ElmoKnowsWhereYouLive5150 3 года назад +2

    It's unbelievably refreshing to see an american man so in touch with things on this level. #namaste

  • @marklawson2871
    @marklawson2871 4 года назад +10

    Your mini satsangs are so lovely. 🙏

  • @anabracika3822
    @anabracika3822 3 года назад +2

    Really get, what you are saying. Thank you

  • @noloyisomaningi516
    @noloyisomaningi516 Год назад

    There's so much comfortability in being alone. So much peace. I'm loving this solo ride🙏😍🙌

  • @Borinquena1973
    @Borinquena1973 3 года назад +1

    Just what I needed today. Coming out of an emotionally abusive narcissistic relationship can damage your view and acceptance of real love and a good relationship. The self sabotage is real and you are so used to feeling pain w love that its hard to accept a good guy. But healing is so important so you don’t need another person to feel complete. This is a process for sure. This is a video I put in my “play daily” playlist. Thank you!!!!!

  • @MFMc2
    @MFMc2 3 года назад +3

    I think what keeps us stuck in unhealthy relationships is our fear of the unknown..we put others before our own happiness even knowing this we are still frozen to begin the journey to freedom..these videos are balm to those who need a jolt in the right direction..so thanks a million for helping us see we do matter and it's our job to make the first move which I do feel is the most difficult

  • @jonjones9789
    @jonjones9789 3 года назад +3

    Very good video.... well done.... god bless you

  • @alasam957
    @alasam957 3 года назад +4

    You are amazing 💖🙏🏻

  • @amandamackenzie7233
    @amandamackenzie7233 3 года назад

    I'm 34 and Ive been transformed by the philosophical concepts have caused an deeply spiritual awakening a journey I feel like I've been on this path my whole life and I'm at the edge of the unknown abyss again for the millionth time looking back at all that's happened in my life im haunted by some old truths and I never thought I would be able to let go of the trauma and looking back I can see clearly defined lessons that I learnt the hardest way and I guess I want to express my gratitude that even tho I didn't have the ability to do this growing up I find deep solice in the fact I have words of life wisdom here to comfort me in hard times

  • @kr9664
    @kr9664 5 лет назад +24

    Thank you for these great insights. Much appreciated :)

  • @gardenbun
    @gardenbun Год назад

    This should be taught in families and in school when we're young. I didn't get this concept until I was well into my 30s and wasn't able to fully practice and live in this truth in my day-to-day life until my 40s. It was a two-way street: my parents had high expectations to earn their love and in turn, I created expectations for all my friendships and romantic relationships and 'burned' through people who disappointed me and failed to live up to them. I would also jump through hoops for certain relationships in order to acquire their 'love.'

  • @johnbolter4369
    @johnbolter4369 3 года назад +10

    I needed to hear this . Thank you 🙏

  • @wendyboeree7873
    @wendyboeree7873 3 года назад +6

    Truth bombs here! Thank you for this video

  • @whyareyoulikethis557
    @whyareyoulikethis557 3 года назад +6

    I cried while I listened to you.
    You made me realize how many problems I have.😔

    • @mayfernig5094
      @mayfernig5094 3 года назад +1

      don't worry be happy me too. Your not in this alone.

    • @Borinquena1973
      @Borinquena1973 3 года назад +1

      Realizing it is amazing! Denying it is a problem. At least we can work on improving.

    • @whyareyoulikethis557
      @whyareyoulikethis557 3 года назад

      @@Borinquena1973 Aman 🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @aileenpetrie7176
    @aileenpetrie7176 3 года назад +12

    Some painful insights into how I act in relationship. Always fearful.

  • @Lightknight1991
    @Lightknight1991 3 года назад +2

    Thank you infinitely beautiful soul! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @betterapproachtolife.motiv3265
    @betterapproachtolife.motiv3265 3 года назад +1

    Wow .. i love the statement regarding being needy “it is all about you” .. how true

  • @brendangolledge8312
    @brendangolledge8312 Год назад +1

    I was in a relationship once with a woman who was insecure like this. She was incredibly nice most of the time, but on a fairly regular basis would do totally crazy things that stressed me out. She was also very accusing when I failed to meet one of her unspoken expectations. I felt forced to break up with her eventually. If she had just been chill, I would have been totally happy with her.
    Edit: I tried to teach her some stuff about humility which I found personally useful, but I think she could not understand the difference between humility and insecurity, and it made her even crazier.

  • @zirconk9994
    @zirconk9994 3 года назад +1

    You're absolutely right. Sometimes in life we do make decisions out of fear to avoid loneliness. But you don't know that you're actually putting yourself in hell.

  • @maysaraali5772
    @maysaraali5772 3 года назад +3

    so grateful to come across this channel! thanks god!

  • @billyonzee50
    @billyonzee50 3 года назад +4

    This is soo true, funny how it has taken me all this long to realise this.

  • @cliffnielsen5380
    @cliffnielsen5380 11 месяцев назад +1

    I love you Brother ❤ 🙏 Thank you! I so needed to hear your healing wisdom and guidance this morning. Peace

  • @Aseser-8
    @Aseser-8 3 года назад +1

    You have the gift of speech.
    Your words resonate with me and I’m glad I could listen

  • @lisagouldson8373
    @lisagouldson8373 2 года назад +1

    i have come from Trauma & i have come a long way from the chains of pain i am creating a safe space 💯❤️🥰

  • @titussteenhuisen3822
    @titussteenhuisen3822 3 года назад +1

    You are very alone but have to learn that your are worth receiving love, good analysis - find joy in yourself.
    Your thoughts are all there is, think loving thoughts, you are in charge.

  • @lauramazoch4552
    @lauramazoch4552 3 года назад +2

    Love your knowledge. Being alone reveals so much in ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve sabotaged many relationships and realize it. It’s hard to deal with the fear and resolve it. I recognize I even sabotage my own healing...lol. It really is crazy but at least I’m aware.

  • @kingamac6575
    @kingamac6575 3 года назад

    This is so profound and relatable. Thank you sharing your insights. I’m really enjoying all of your videos x

  • @candicemariebeadco
    @candicemariebeadco 3 года назад +4

    Thank you! ♡

  • @alanamartin7
    @alanamartin7 5 лет назад +17

    Very helpful. I agree completely. Thanks for sharing!

    • @AwakenInsight
      @AwakenInsight  5 лет назад +4

      You are most welcome. I'm glad you found it helpful and I'm happy to be of service.

  • @nursemaid
    @nursemaid 3 года назад

    You are so right.. thank you for the wisdom. It came at just the right time and I cannot thank you enough. I subscribed and hit the bell.

  • @lynzara
    @lynzara 2 года назад

    Tell it like it is, "Own it" It's what I needed to hear.

  • @secureconnection5245
    @secureconnection5245 3 года назад

    Awaken insights indeed. You have a very peaceful presence. Thank you for sharing this wisdom!

  • @vxidwvlkxr
    @vxidwvlkxr 3 года назад +3

    As a recovering codependent and SLD, I think I will probably never have a healthy, loving and happy relationship. I'm sharply anti-social and yet I absolutely despise being alone, regardless of the fact that I spend the vast majority of my time alone anyway. I definitely don't "love" myself, I simply don't know how. The way I generally don't love the human species as a whole probably plays a sizable factor in that. I simply can't imagine loving someone like myself and quite honestly I don't think I will ever reach that point where I'll be able to look in the mirror and say, honestly, "I love YOU, man in the mirror.", it all just sounds like wishful thinking. Without someone, I feel empty. Even with someone, that much doesn't change by very much if at all. I am simply existentially miserable, with no light at the end in sight. But as cold as the nights are in my bed by my self, I would rather be alone than be with someone who plays with my heart and my head, someone who wants to play with me and then discard me. And, going further than that, I would above all probably just rather to euthanize myself so I don't have to fuckin' ruminate and worry about any of it anymore. I'm so fucking tired.

    • @freiwieinvogel
      @freiwieinvogel 3 года назад +1

      Would you consider seeking help from a professional? Would you consider the possibility of a chemical imbalance in your brain preventing you from operating correctly, as a well tuned machine? Would you put the effort to fix what there’s to fix in order to operate correctly so you can become a beautiful man you can fall in love with? You are the only responsible for your life and to live better you shall take action. Do not seek the light at the end of the tunnel, become it.
      I wish you to succeed! You will if you have the will! I know because I have been there 🙏

  • @seanglennon4012
    @seanglennon4012 3 года назад +2

    This is exactly what i needed to hear thanks

  • @Ange-144
    @Ange-144 3 года назад +5

    Only just found your you tube channel and I think you’re an amazing teacher .. I love listening to your wisdom . Thank you 😊❤️

  • @storeymark
    @storeymark 3 года назад

    I am only 5 minutes into the talk and so much of what he says resonates with me. Reflecting on what he is saying, I realize that I treasure the time I have with myself. However, this wasn't always the case. I sincerely believe what has helped me embrace my time by myself is my daily meditation practice. My practice has taught me how to be comfortable with my own thoughts and subsequently be comfortable alone by myself.

  • @karen.island3697
    @karen.island3697 3 года назад +2

    Just found your channel and I’m so happy about that! This video was absolutely incredible. My gratitude for your beautiful messages. 💜🙏 🌍

  • @revertingthemoldways
    @revertingthemoldways 3 года назад +3

    I really do love and appreciate the universe for sending these beautiful angelic beings/ guru/teachers my way. You all have no idea how blessed I am to encounter you all. You all genuinely dont know how much love I have for you

  • @PeaceDayCortez
    @PeaceDayCortez 3 года назад +8

    Thank you I really needed this!

  • @inspiredchange5573
    @inspiredchange5573 3 года назад +2

    You are a blessing ❤this helped me tremendously, thank you

  • @claudiomagalhaes1248
    @claudiomagalhaes1248 3 года назад +5

    You are amazing! Thank you very much for spending your time into service!!!

  • @ChristiansPrayingTogether
    @ChristiansPrayingTogether 4 года назад +13

    Many gratitudes for this helpful talk ❤️ I agree 100% - thank you 😊

  • @rpvas5158
    @rpvas5158 3 года назад +1

    thank you, i appreciate your videos so much

  • @littlethingsproject5008
    @littlethingsproject5008 3 года назад +1

    Thank you! Deeply touched by this wisdom spoken as it helps me integrate that which the heart already knows. Sending many blessings in LOVE. 💚🌹✨

  • @Wotan-Born
    @Wotan-Born 3 года назад +3

    Completely accurate

  • @DarkAngelicism
    @DarkAngelicism 3 года назад

    Thank you. This was what I needed. Words for the soul.

  • @fireeconomicswithjt6521
    @fireeconomicswithjt6521 3 года назад

    The paradox of thought. The mind creating the very problem we seek a solution to. When the mind is the matter of who I really am (the soul) I will always suffer. Release suffering, release excessive and obsessive thinking. Much love, Namaste

  • @winniegunawan7440
    @winniegunawan7440 3 года назад +1

    I really love your channel. it's such a good reminder for us. I might have to watch them every day. Lots of good suggestions and advices which can make me realize to be a better person in the future. Thanks a lot.

  • @Mochimochi393
    @Mochimochi393 Год назад +1

    Thank you sincerely. 🙏✨🔆

  • @tymer9
    @tymer9 3 года назад

    I have also just discovered your channel and I am finding much wisdom and comfort in your words. Thankyou🌟

  • @RR-qu2oz
    @RR-qu2oz 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for your wise words and shinning a light on a subject that is mostly misunderstood.

  • @jesswiwel9399
    @jesswiwel9399 3 года назад

    Your channel is full of truth, guidance and unconditional love for all. So inspiring, so helpful. Thank you thank you 🙏

  • @MissPrissy6688
    @MissPrissy6688 3 года назад +1

    True words spoken here. Thank you.🙏

  • @Rosherrrs99
    @Rosherrrs99 2 года назад

    Thank you for sharing this wisdom!! 🙏❤

  • @geoffreyjones2872
    @geoffreyjones2872 3 года назад +3

    You really nailed it.Thankyou.This was very helpful.

  • @CBbehereNOW
    @CBbehereNOW 3 года назад

    You are amazing how you are able to verbalize this! ❤️

  • @ionageman
    @ionageman 3 года назад +1

    Your truth is the same as mine . Stability alone first .

  • @siberianpie
    @siberianpie 3 года назад

    We are all so lucky who was able to find your channel 🤲 thank you for sharing and enlighten us 🤗

  • @nenasadie
    @nenasadie 3 года назад +2

    This is such an amazing channel

  • @fr13geist15
    @fr13geist15 3 года назад

    Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom. I've been in a relationship just recently and it went south exactly the way you describe it here... I'm still not over it because I feel I have caused that but deep down I also feel it needed to happen so that I can learn to be alone... Life is ironic but it's the greatest teacher there is! Again, thank you for your content and you have just earned another sub ;-)

  • @sharonsmid70
    @sharonsmid70 3 года назад +2

    I met you at the right time exactly what I needed I am grateful to you I follow in love love for myself Namaste ♡

  • @marciahenriquez4605
    @marciahenriquez4605 3 года назад

    Thanks for this beautiful and clear explanation!