It’s kind of hard to say .. I think situational wise it just depends. Not everyone can handle certain expectations whether it’s self imposed or by someone else. Personally since high school my expectations for myself dropped significantly while, for the people around me who loves me and wants the best for me, their expectations of me grew exponentially. And with that; I’ve gotten really comfortable with where I am, but my loved ones they see/imagine that I’m capable of more so they treat me a certain way which causes me to feel like I’m a let down or incapable of doing more if I were to pursue .. I don’t know long story short for me personally it just depends 🤷🏾♀️
high expectations in the sense that they expect the best from me and know that I am capable of so many great things and shouldn’t limit myself, but not in the sense that they demand perfection or for me to break my back for them
this is so real, i just felt jealous of my best friend. More girls liked her, she was good at talking w other girls, she had more girl friends. but then i found out that she was also jealous of me in so many ways. She told me she was jealous about how I was so comfortable with guys, how I could talk to them easily, how I knew more of them. That’s why cocos girls girl vs boys girl video hit so deep cus I would rather know more girls and have fun w more girls, then guys 😭 like guys are cool, but ive always valued girls more
Not to make you the bad person or any thing i just need an advise if it's ok with you? So my pov: Idk isn't a bit unfair for your friend i mean she didn't do anything wrong couldn't you have dealt with your jealousy or talked to her?
Was there a reason that you were jealous? You should probably define “last straw” better because if she hasn’t done anything extreme or hasn’t pushed your buttons, you could’ve said something like deadline, etcetera
Friendship Breakups personally to me is hard. It took me YEARS to get over my first best friend(I’m okay now😅). But right now, one of my friends is “giving me space” and it feels like she’s putting me in time out and I know what it leads up to a break up… but I love how you knew and had to call your sisters right away
Some people can fade in and out of your life, and those are often the best friendships because they are able to grow and change with you. My best friends are the ones that let me disappear for 5 years and aren’t mad at me when I come back. There’s this book, called the four agreements, and it’s been hugely helpful to me bc I’m able to understand that whatever someone does, however they treat me, that’s almost never got anything to do with me. Most people don’t even truly register my existence, they are just dealing with their own shit and I’m a smoky mirror where they just see themselves and their needs and their fears and their beliefs reflected back to them, regardless of my identity. If my friend thinks people are mostly trustworthy and good, bc they are too, then my friend will believe me, and trust me, and I can trust them. If my friend thinks people are liars and are jealous, only out for themselves, then my friend will not only think that I’m a jealous liar and only out for myself but also that friend? Is probably a liar that is only out for themselves as well. I said all that to say, maybe it’s your friend that needs space, or just doesn’t know how to give you what they think you might need and so they’re choosing to back away. Either way, the root of the problem here is a breakdown in communication, and I couldn’t recommend that book, the four agreements, enough. It’s a short book, an easy read, and I actually listen to the audiobook while I paint or do dishes so that I can pay attention while staying occupied. It helped soothe a lot of the wounds I had from interpersonal relationships and miscommunication due to mismatched needs and expectations in my -young- adult life.
The older I've gotten, the more I've tried to meet people where they are and give them the energy that they give me and if it's no longer serving me, let it go. I think expectations are situational. As a friend, I believe that someone should uphold a level of honesty, respect and empathy. Other than that, I think it depends. You don't want to have your friend feeling like they are being crushed under the weight of your unrealistically high expectations, but you also don't want to have low expectations either because if your friends can't check you for bad behavior/ not being a better version of yourself, who can? It can be a precarious balancing act.
I think it’s hilarious how you just posted this video today. Life is definitely spiritual. I was literally just talking to a close friend of mine about this experience I had with someone else. I experienced something similar, but I’m content because I realize I’m growing intensely at a very fast rate. She’s growing, too, but we’re in two different places in life with two different mindsets, and I’m not mad at it. I realized that we don’t even… friend the same. If that makes sense. Sometimes it’s okay to accept the reality of growing apart, simply, and recognizing that growth does not come without discomfort. I have a lot that I want to do. Places I’m going. People I’m meeting. Times have changed. We don’t have time to wait around and hope people see our progress. We just have to be focused on the progress and the right people will recognize it, whether they are already present or new people to arrive in your life who will appreciate what you’re doing and share a like mindset. I move forward and upward only because that’s my only option. Blessings to you! Thank you for not being afraid to share. Much appreciated and inspirational, even as a RUclipsr because I started my channel over a year ago and it’s time to get back to it. I already started planning a couple weeks ago on how I’m gonna go about it. Unapologetically. Thank you!! Jesus loves you!! 🙏🏽 Love and Blessings to you!! 🤍🫶🏽✨
Loved the happy ending and you realizing you can still change and do better. I thought I lost all my friends but I realized I had to do better within myself and some of them have returned ❤
He was probably watching them all night, and he was probably the one who was talking to them about “young people can teach us things”. He seems like the type.😂😂😂
I had a friendship breakup in june 2023 and it left me in shamblessss. Like- she was my friend of 4 to 3 years, and she just dropped me without good reason I got better with advice from other friends and realised that even though she was my friend, I could live without her. I lived without her before meeting her, so why shouldn't I be able to live without her? It's hard but you'll live through it❤😊
I’ve gone through a few friendship break ups and the only one I still communicate with is the one I had a convo with , the other 2 I ghosted because the jealousy was turning into meanness and I didn’t feel like they deserved an explanation so I just deleted and blocked
that’s exactly what i did too! i felt bad at first for not explaining why i stopped talking to them but honestly it was pretty obvious and they acted oblivious so i stopped caring
9 месяцев назад+1
Hey Chinelo! I recently discovered your channel (probably on Christmas day) while i was spending my days in hospital, struggling with my kidneys. (im much better now) The first ever video of yours that i watched is titled “WHAT’S ON MY LIP?” and as soon as i finished it i ran to your channel for more! There is something so beautifully infectious about your videos that i cannot quite put my finger on, but i enjoy them regardless!! It feels like i’m watching a mini series and we get to see what Coco Chinelo is up to this time! Your videos have left me to assume for you a virtual “big sister dropping pearls of wisdom (valuable, relatable &relevant)” role for me. As i type this i am watching this exact video. I was drawn to it because i myself (18 and in my second undergraduate year of university) am trying to learn how to better navigate friendships and be the best friend i can possibly be to people. I believe myself to already be good at navigating friendships but there is always a lesson even a professional can learn. Related but more personal: i recently started a yt channel and am working hard on developing my style and image. (im very proud of the progress ive made so far and im so excited to keep on learning and getting to work at developing my image online). Just like the role i have assumed for you, i want to give off the vibes of “virtual older brother/friend on ft dropping pearls of wisdom through documenting and sharing the lessons he has learnt through his experiences with people on the internet”. I want to let you know that in the current stage of my “becoming a youtuber “ journey, your channel and video style is something i see as a valuable resource to draw inspiration from! In fact this very video relates to a video i have scheduled for next week on friendships and i plan on sharing the lesson i learned from this video to my friends in my video. Please keep posting!! We are watching!💫 (i’m enjoying this video a lot so far and there are many things you have said in it that i agree with)
im in high school so this is normal i guess but its still hard but its so funny as im going through this i get this video but i also haven’t fully processed
Also, girl If you want to watch another good movie, the new Hunger Games Movie - A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes came out!! I read the book and haven't seen it yet but I hear its as good as my favorite and highest rated film of the franchise - Catching Fire!!
It’s been 3 years and I’m not over mine. I think real love is the kind of thing you don’t need to get anything back from, you just love and appreciate people. I don’t need you to like me back for me to like you. I think that’s a genuine feeling. However, it’s important for relationships to be reciprocal for you to grow from that relationship. I was having a hard time bc no one ever challenged me, mentally. I was mostly just frustrated and I felt alone. I felt like I was constantly challenging her, and she didn’t want that, but I couldn’t stop. She probably felt attacked a lot, or at least criticized. I’m guessing this is what happened, bc she became so defensive, just out the gate, making it impossible to talk to her at all about anything. She’d change the facts just so that my take would be wrong. I have ADHD, and so in order for me to stay engaged I have to be _engaged_ you know? So it got to where she’d be talking about her coworkers or something, and she’d mention one, and I’d be like, oh, is that the one that drives the red suv? And she’d be like, huh? No. And then later she’d mention that they just sold their maroon jeep, and I’d be like, oh, yeah so it is the red suv guy? And she’d be like, well he’s selling it. I need an anchor to know who we’re talking about, and how would I know that your coworker is selling their jeep? All I know is what she tells me! Anyways, it got out of hand so that anything and everything I said would get a quick, dismissive “yeah, no.” from her. It made conversations really clunky and tiresome and I couldn’t figure out why she was so disagreeable. It felt defensive. lol I just realized I need to talk to someone about this! I haven’t yet. But I’m super sad about it. I think she’s so funny and so clever and so creative, and so beautiful- but she was always so deeply insecure around me. I’m a very solutions-oriented person, and she became less curious and more angry. Constantly offended, really sensitive about being “wrong” about stuff. I have never been attached emotionally to whether or not I knew something yet, bc to me the truth is just a thing you have or haven’t found yet, and there aren’t any prizes or punishments for finding it sooner or later. It’s about how you act, not your access to the truth. You can respect people and be fair even if you believe the wrong things. Even if you _do_ know the objective truth of the matter, you can still act like an asshole. You know? I’m trying so hard to be less of an asshole.
![Chino Pacas - Modo Capone (with Drake & Fuerza Regida) [Video Oficial]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zjv8TQ0gBkg/mqdefault.jpg)
question from today's video: would you prefer someone have high expectations of you, or low expectations of you?
Low expectations
Because then my efforts pay off more and that’s less pressure
It’s kind of hard to say .. I think situational wise it just depends. Not everyone can handle certain expectations whether it’s self imposed or by someone else. Personally since high school my expectations for myself dropped significantly while, for the people around me who loves me and wants the best for me, their expectations of me grew exponentially. And with that; I’ve gotten really comfortable with where I am, but my loved ones they see/imagine that I’m capable of more so they treat me a certain way which causes me to feel like I’m a let down or incapable of doing more if I were to pursue .. I don’t know long story short for me personally it just depends 🤷🏾♀️
@@supa.staaaa this is EXACTLY what I has about to say!
high expectations in the sense that they expect the best from me and know that I am capable of so many great things and shouldn’t limit myself, but not in the sense that they demand perfection or for me to break my back for them
definitely low. had a high maintenance friend and it drained me a lot.
I broke up with my best friend, because I just got this strong, unwavering feeling of jealousy from her no matter what I did.
this is so real, i just felt jealous of my best friend. More girls liked her, she was good at talking w other girls, she had more girl friends.
but then i found out that she was also jealous of me in so many ways. She told me she was jealous about how I was so comfortable with guys, how I could talk to them easily, how I knew more of them.
That’s why cocos girls girl vs boys girl video hit so deep cus I would rather know more girls and have fun w more girls, then guys 😭
like guys are cool, but ive always valued girls more
Same! The last straw was from when she came over to my house for Christmas. It was done. By new years, she was blocked and has been blocked.
Not to make you the bad person or any thing i just need an advise if it's ok with you?
So my pov: Idk isn't a bit unfair for your friend i mean she didn't do anything wrong couldn't you have dealt with your jealousy or talked to her?
Me too, my ex best friend was soooo jealous of me n admitted it many times
Was there a reason that you were jealous? You should probably define “last straw” better because if she hasn’t done anything extreme or hasn’t pushed your buttons, you could’ve said something like deadline, etcetera
Friendship breakups take long for me to get over… but when I do I I’m completely over it
Friendship Breakups personally to me is hard. It took me YEARS to get over my first best friend(I’m okay now😅). But right now, one of my friends is “giving me space” and it feels like she’s putting me in time out and I know what it leads up to a break up… but I love how you knew and had to call your sisters right away
Some people can fade in and out of your life, and those are often the best friendships because they are able to grow and change with you. My best friends are the ones that let me disappear for 5 years and aren’t mad at me when I come back.
There’s this book, called the four agreements, and it’s been hugely helpful to me bc I’m able to understand that whatever someone does, however they treat me, that’s almost never got anything to do with me. Most people don’t even truly register my existence, they are just dealing with their own shit and I’m a smoky mirror where they just see themselves and their needs and their fears and their beliefs reflected back to them, regardless of my identity.
If my friend thinks people are mostly trustworthy and good, bc they are too, then my friend will believe me, and trust me, and I can trust them. If my friend thinks people are liars and are jealous, only out for themselves, then my friend will not only think that I’m a jealous liar and only out for myself but also that friend? Is probably a liar that is only out for themselves as well.
I said all that to say, maybe it’s your friend that needs space, or just doesn’t know how to give you what they think you might need and so they’re choosing to back away. Either way, the root of the problem here is a breakdown in communication, and I couldn’t recommend that book, the four agreements, enough. It’s a short book, an easy read, and I actually listen to the audiobook while I paint or do dishes so that I can pay attention while staying occupied. It helped soothe a lot of the wounds I had from interpersonal relationships and miscommunication due to mismatched needs and expectations in my -young- adult life.
The older I've gotten, the more I've tried to meet people where they are and give them the energy that they give me and if it's no longer serving me, let it go. I think expectations are situational. As a friend, I believe that someone should uphold a level of honesty, respect and empathy. Other than that, I think it depends. You don't want to have your friend feeling like they are being crushed under the weight of your unrealistically high expectations, but you also don't want to have low expectations either because if your friends can't check you for bad behavior/ not being a better version of yourself, who can? It can be a precarious balancing act.
I think it’s hilarious how you just posted this video today. Life is definitely spiritual. I was literally just talking to a close friend of mine about this experience I had with someone else. I experienced something similar, but I’m content because I realize I’m growing intensely at a very fast rate. She’s growing, too, but we’re in two different places in life with two different mindsets, and I’m not mad at it. I realized that we don’t even… friend the same. If that makes sense. Sometimes it’s okay to accept the reality of growing apart, simply, and recognizing that growth does not come without discomfort. I have a lot that I want to do. Places I’m going. People I’m meeting. Times have changed. We don’t have time to wait around and hope people see our progress. We just have to be focused on the progress and the right people will recognize it, whether they are already present or new people to arrive in your life who will appreciate what you’re doing and share a like mindset. I move forward and upward only because that’s my only option. Blessings to you! Thank you for not being afraid to share. Much appreciated and inspirational, even as a RUclipsr because I started my channel over a year ago and it’s time to get back to it. I already started planning a couple weeks ago on how I’m gonna go about it. Unapologetically. Thank you!! Jesus loves you!! 🙏🏽 Love and Blessings to you!! 🤍🫶🏽✨
Bro I literally left my bestfriend in 2023, NEVER LOOKING BACK OBVIOUSLY GOD HEARD WHAT I DIDNT
Your storytelling skills are killer 🙌🏾
thank you ❤❤❤
Loved the happy ending and you realizing you can still change and do better. I thought I lost all my friends but I realized I had to do better within myself and some of them have returned ❤
aww happy to hear ❤
What caused the breakup
5:45 the man in the corner 😂😂😂😂 am I the only one who peeped him
He was probably watching them all night, and he was probably the one who was talking to them about “young people can teach us things”. He seems like the type.😂😂😂
@@Angibbabee yesss the whole time that part was on I was like “why are you talking to them” 🤨
Yes yes I def noticed mr. clean being creepy and then at 7:11 Natalie Portman looking angry
Ughh I love your videos! The editing, the story telling! Everything!
thank you so much ❤
i loved this video, ur so pretty u remind me of a literal black barbie ❤
thanks ❤
I had a friendship breakup in june 2023 and it left me in shamblessss. Like- she was my friend of 4 to 3 years, and she just dropped me without good reason
I got better with advice from other friends and realised that even though she was my friend, I could live without her. I lived without her before meeting her, so why shouldn't I be able to live without her? It's hard but you'll live through it❤😊
I'm going through a similar thing. I think we're not gonna be friends anymore either. But all you can is wait and see what happens
The timing of this is crazy!!
Unrelated but my favorite part is always your intros. Like your so friggin pretty.
aww thank you so much!
the visuals in this video are stunning
LOVE YOU CHI CHI
love you too!!
How I loved this 🤍
Favorite vlog by farrrrrrrr 😍
Yay! Thank you!
I'm from Turks and Caicos Islands, but I have been a Philadelphia Eagles fan for 12+ years! #FlyEagledFly #GoBirds 💚🦅
Ur videos are so refreshing I love the editing it's soo different
I’ve gone through a few friendship break ups and the only one I still communicate with is the one I had a convo with , the other 2 I ghosted because the jealousy was turning into meanness and I didn’t feel like they deserved an explanation so I just deleted and blocked
that’s exactly what i did too! i felt bad at first for not explaining why i stopped talking to them but honestly it was pretty obvious and they acted oblivious so i stopped caring
Hey Chinelo! I recently discovered your channel (probably on Christmas day) while i was spending my days in hospital, struggling with my kidneys. (im much better now) The first ever video of yours that i watched is titled “WHAT’S ON MY LIP?” and as soon as i finished it i ran to your channel for more!
There is something so beautifully infectious about your videos that i cannot quite put my finger on, but i enjoy them regardless!! It feels like i’m watching a mini series and we get to see what Coco Chinelo is up to this time! Your videos have left me to assume for you a virtual “big sister dropping pearls of wisdom (valuable, relatable &relevant)” role for me.
As i type this i am watching this exact video. I was drawn to it because i myself (18 and in my second undergraduate year of university) am trying to learn how to better navigate friendships and be the best friend i can possibly be to people. I believe myself to already be good at navigating friendships but there is always a lesson even a professional can learn.
Related but more personal: i recently started a yt channel and am working hard on developing my style and image. (im very proud of the progress ive made so far and im so excited to keep on learning and getting to work at developing my image online). Just like the role i have assumed for you, i want to give off the vibes of “virtual older brother/friend on ft dropping pearls of wisdom through documenting and sharing the lessons he has learnt through his experiences with people on the internet”. I want to let you know that in the current stage of my “becoming a youtuber “ journey, your channel and video style is something i see as a valuable resource to draw inspiration from! In fact this very video relates to a video i have scheduled for next week on friendships and i plan on sharing the lesson i learned from this video to my friends in my video.
Please keep posting!! We are watching!💫
(i’m enjoying this video a lot so far and there are many things you have said in it that i agree with)
On the flip side…that brown dress you were wearing looked tewww good on you🥺
im in high school so this is normal i guess but its still hard but its so funny as im going through this i get this video but i also haven’t fully processed
Also, girl If you want to watch another good movie, the new Hunger Games Movie - A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes came out!! I read the book and haven't seen it yet but I hear its as good as my favorite and highest rated film of the franchise - Catching Fire!!
yeah if they plan to meet you in public it’s wraps 💔
It's been 3months, I'm still not over my friendship breakeup
It’s been 3 years and I’m not over mine. I think real love is the kind of thing you don’t need to get anything back from, you just love and appreciate people. I don’t need you to like me back for me to like you. I think that’s a genuine feeling. However, it’s important for relationships to be reciprocal for you to grow from that relationship.
I was having a hard time bc no one ever challenged me, mentally. I was mostly just frustrated and I felt alone.
I felt like I was constantly challenging her, and she didn’t want that, but I couldn’t stop. She probably felt attacked a lot, or at least criticized. I’m guessing this is what happened, bc she became so defensive, just out the gate, making it impossible to talk to her at all about anything. She’d change the facts just so that my take would be wrong.
I have ADHD, and so in order for me to stay engaged I have to be _engaged_ you know? So it got to where she’d be talking about her coworkers or something, and she’d mention one, and I’d be like, oh, is that the one that drives the red suv? And she’d be like, huh? No. And then later she’d mention that they just sold their maroon jeep, and I’d be like, oh, yeah so it is the red suv guy? And she’d be like, well he’s selling it. I need an anchor to know who we’re talking about, and how would I know that your coworker is selling their jeep? All I know is what she tells me!
Anyways, it got out of hand so that anything and everything I said would get a quick, dismissive “yeah, no.” from her. It made conversations really clunky and tiresome and I couldn’t figure out why she was so disagreeable. It felt defensive.
lol I just realized I need to talk to someone about this! I haven’t yet. But I’m super sad about it. I think she’s so funny and so clever and so creative, and so beautiful- but she was always so deeply insecure around me. I’m a very solutions-oriented person, and she became less curious and more angry. Constantly offended, really sensitive about being “wrong” about stuff. I have never been attached emotionally to whether or not I knew something yet, bc to me the truth is just a thing you have or haven’t found yet, and there aren’t any prizes or punishments for finding it sooner or later. It’s about how you act, not your access to the truth. You can respect people and be fair even if you believe the wrong things. Even if you _do_ know the objective truth of the matter, you can still act like an asshole. You know? I’m trying so hard to be less of an asshole.
The universe keeps sending messages through it’s literally only been three weeks 💀💀
Crazy how u posted this and my and I think me and my best
friend are going through some kind of breakup moment 😭💔
trust me, everything is going to be okay :)
But what happened to the 12th day of 12 days of chinelo??
i missed the upload :(
New viddddddd
The first Guardians of the Galaxy?
the last one!
A