Amen. Finally someone else feels the same way I do. I have wasted so many tears and alot of time on a man who enjoys lying to me. Such a POS and waste of time!
The problem with lying, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, is this: it serves only ONE person. Therefore, it works against the very idea of being a duo, a couple...
To sum up, one lies out of selfishness and the other lies out of selflessness. To me, this freedom you speak of is a way to not face what’s real. It’s not an authentic way to live your life, with having a concern about how others view you, and getting them to think that you are “more important” or special. If you had a sense of self, you wouldn’t need to lie. Grown men who lie shouldn’t be in a relationship until they figure out that lying won’t change who they really are, and that they can be good enough as they are. To hell with what anyone else thinks/believes.
Bingo. Freedom is just a another lie, in this context, to cover slavery to a creating a false ego by being dishonest to others. Lying to avoid accountibility and responsibility, and to manipulate and harm others takes away their freedoms to chose and discern if they want to be involved or associate with a liar that only serves self. Sir you tarnish the meaning of freedom in order to excuse the lies told that will and do harm and explloit others. True freedom is being true with and about self both pros and cons. What come to mind is the saying that a lie hurts two people the receiver of the lie and the teller of the lie.
This just perpetuates a culture of abuse. My stbx lied to me for 21yrs because it worked out well for him: servant to take care of house & perpetuate positive image while he f**ked everything under the sun. Of all my values in life, #1 for me has ALWAYS been honesty, but I never got it.
Lying becomes a compulsion or even an addiction because it removes ALL accountability and gives you the freedom to always have someone else worse than you to point your finger at.
@@BryanReevestruth hurts you, boo hoo your mens lies hurts others. No one wants a selfish man that knowingly hurts others by exploitation of truths. You lie to have your cake and eat it too. Not a man but a boy.
Yes my mom says men lie because “men want their cake and want to eat it too.” No fancy research needed just advice from Mom. But yeah both what this guy said and what mom said. It is somewhat the same. If a women starts to tell her truth about her deep emotional experience- some men can’t handle that kind of truth and then start gaslighting, deflecting all that 🤪💩 . I am a woman and my truth is a big old eye-roll to men who want all the freedom to be sneaky and selfishly unbothered. I want freedom from you also buddy-harsh truth- just in different ways. I say your mom and dad should have raised you to handle yourself better and not lie. I am not here to finish the job. 😅 I just basically said what the man on the mountain said but in a more crass brutally honest way. And gentlemen if you can’t handle that kind of brutal honesty too bad. There I said it. I hope no lying mans “feelings” were spared. 😢 Cause I ain’t your momma. 😅 Now fly away and be free to do everything by your free self and leave me alone and take your sneaky lying self somewhere else.🤯 😂
I rather tell the truth, I am fine with the confrontation tbh. I don’t like to hold anything in, it takes me tons of energy to not say something. I spoke my feelings today to my now ex bf. He didn’t want to deal with it, but I just said: would you rather I don’t speak my mind and just play nice? Because that’s just not real. And I am not going to do that. I spoke my mind. He didn’t like it and he was trying to respond as little as possible and I broke up with him. When I am with someone I need the to be on the same level of honesty. I have no time for lies. I would take the harsh truth over a sweet lie every day. And also: I just feel like not being honest poisons my soul, it just feels wrong, and I tried it a couple of times (because I am aware of social code that were not “supposed to say” certain things), but then I blab the truth out anyways. I just don’t like to suppress the truth and hold it in and I don’t like having secrets, there’s a weight that comes with that. I accept that not everyone will like me, because I basically just speak my mind. But the people who do like me: at least they will like the real version of me with my strengths and my flaws. I am working on my flaws, but I also accept that I am not perfect.
This is why my partner and I talk about being honest. The more honest and forth coming in the relationship the more free you feel. Free to ask to have your own needs met. And if you can trust the other person will listen and accept the truth no matter what then you have a real connection.
No men lie because it's form of hiding things. These to me are just excuses for why men lie.. even when it comes to putting a title on yourself it's hiding who you really are this also leads to guilt. I don't agree with this it's all just petty excuses for their lies. If someone lies to you in a relationship they have no respect for you.
So go deeper. Why would someone hide something from a partner? And what would cause someone to be in relationship with someone they have no respect for (if what you say is true)?
@@BryanReevesto use their assets to enhance themselves? You men use lies like con men and predators and take others freedoms to gain your own, ie get your way without pay. Get thee behind me Satan.
By the way your "mind blowing" revelations are not news to most women of any experience with men, we know you are egotistical, self serving, cold calculating predators upon women and children, and in truth warlike when your lies and seen for exactly what they are, designed to hurt and abuse others and an insult to the real meaning of freedom. What a croc of word salad to hope to gaslight others as news. Men are so self serving, no surprise women are calling it quits on them, entirely. Immature and harmful men should be sent to 'freedom" islands where they no longer hurt others but will no doubt hurt each other.
No. Not necessarily. At the core, it just means he's not seeing himself in his thoughts as free, and he is acting out in ways to create more freedom for himself, even though those ways aren't going to work at the core.
Have you noticed that most men who lie to their spouse expect her to stay married to them? That they are not at all happy about the idea of her moving on? What does that tell you?
and so...then what? I feel like so many videos about men for women are explaining some of the crappy behavior...are they men...or boys? I mean...this just sounds unevolved to me
I've been watching your videos for a while, they're terrific and super helpful! (Love this setting btw...) Today I came back to watch this again because my husband just lied about something really trivial (to make me look bad, so therefore himself look good?!?!) and I'm working on not getting angry or starting an argument about it. Thanks for all your fantastic insights. They've been keeping me sane!
By equating the word freedom with self centered people who don’t take responsibility, you are putting these people in a frame of value. Call these people what they are, selfish avoiders.
😮🍎🤯 Juicy apple of greatness! All makes sense ❤️ so happy to have crossed this channel 🙏 also started reading Dear Lover so I'm digging the DD reference!! Lol Thank you!!
some men lie because those men were punished for telling the truth. Like a couple of minutes ago, i was bashed, gaslighted and shamed by a woman for speaking up on a truth (which i predicted) so part of me wonders should i lie or not communicate at all (which im gonna get hated for regardless)?
@@coreyondavis6032 I’ve been there before. You’re living in an unsustainable lose-lose situation, damned if you do damned if you don’t. You’ve got choices but the only meaningful one is to decide this dynamic doesn’t work for you (or her) anymore and figure out how to change the way you two communicate.
I know one man who lies to look good. Yes. A very near relation of mine. I know three women who lies. Big time. And that is not to protect other peoples feelings and to loose connection. One of my women relations told me that she was ready to lie in court. Because she hated another person so much. I believe that we can never put men and women in one box. We are all different. 🙂. Masculine, feminin. There can be some genral stuff there. That's right. I have now experienced that some people are very good at lying. Others are not.
Black people have subconsciously learned to lie about effects and pain of racism - because they know it will be challenged and invalidated angrily. Unless can strongly accept this and protest as an activist or face this well, then day to day, you lie and pretend it’s not happening. Stores a lot of toxicity. Great concept to teach and understand my people pleasing issues. Thank you. ❤️ I won’t abandon myself in work personal or any other relationships. I can’t afford to lose the connection with myself in sacrifice of connection with others . Will be superficial relationships if the relationship with myself isn’t solid and authentic anyways. I always hold back 😪 I’ll work on not self abandoning now 👊🏾
Men, do you want to know what really impresses us and makes us trust you love you and stay with you? TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH!
Yes guys, when you walk up to a woman, tell her you like to bang her. She'll appreciate your honesty
Amen. Finally someone else feels the same way I do. I have wasted so many tears and alot of time on a man who enjoys lying to me. Such a POS and waste of time!
@@VeritasQuaesitor528They don't have to. We already know. It's literally the only reason they approach us.
The problem with lying, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, is this: it serves only ONE person. Therefore, it works against the very idea of being a duo, a couple...
I would even argue that it actually serves NO ONE.
@Bryan Reeves You're right. Ultimately, it serves no one.
It's self Sabotage too
Freedom. That's an interesting way to frame it. A+ for creativity. F for authenticity. lol.
lol ... it's what the research says, not me.
thats disgusting actually. if he cant take the responsibility of a commitment, he shouldnt be in a relationship
To sum up, one lies out of selfishness and the other lies out of selflessness. To me, this freedom you speak of is a way to not face what’s real. It’s not an authentic way to live your life, with having a concern about how others view you, and getting them to think that you are “more important” or special. If you had a sense of self, you wouldn’t need to lie. Grown men who lie shouldn’t be in a relationship until they figure out that lying won’t change who they really are, and that they can be good enough as they are. To hell with what anyone else thinks/believes.
Bingo. Freedom is just a another lie, in this context, to cover slavery to a creating a false ego by being dishonest to others. Lying to avoid accountibility and responsibility, and to manipulate and harm others takes away their freedoms to chose and discern if they want to be involved or associate with a liar that only serves self. Sir you tarnish the meaning of freedom in order to excuse the lies told that will and do harm and explloit others. True freedom is being true with and about self both pros and cons. What come to mind is the saying that a lie hurts two people the receiver of the lie and the teller of the lie.
This just perpetuates a culture of abuse. My stbx lied to me for 21yrs because it worked out well for him: servant to take care of house & perpetuate positive image while he f**ked everything under the sun. Of all my values in life, #1 for me has ALWAYS been honesty, but I never got it.
Any time the man lies...then from being a man, he turns into a kid and the woman into a mum... disgraceful
Lying becomes a compulsion or even an addiction because it removes ALL accountability and gives you the freedom to always have someone else worse than you to point your finger at.
Men lie because they are beneath me. I don’t lie. I make a conscious effort to be a good person to my friends and family.
That feels a bit harsh.
@@BryanReevestruth hurts you, boo hoo your mens lies hurts others. No one wants a selfish man that knowingly hurts others by exploitation of truths. You lie to have your cake and eat it too. Not a man but a boy.
Yes my mom says men lie because “men want their cake and want to eat it too.” No fancy research needed just advice from Mom. But yeah both what this guy said and what mom said. It is somewhat the same. If a women starts to tell her truth about her deep emotional experience- some men can’t handle that kind of truth and then start gaslighting, deflecting all that 🤪💩 . I am a woman and my truth is a big old eye-roll to men who want all the freedom to be sneaky and selfishly unbothered. I want freedom from you also buddy-harsh truth- just in different ways. I say your mom and dad should have raised you to handle yourself better and not lie. I am not here to finish the job. 😅 I just basically said what the man on the mountain said but in a more crass brutally honest way. And gentlemen if you can’t handle that kind of brutal honesty too bad. There I said it. I hope no lying mans “feelings” were spared. 😢 Cause I ain’t your momma. 😅 Now fly away and be free to do everything by your free self and leave me alone and take your sneaky lying self somewhere else.🤯 😂
I rather tell the truth, I am fine with the confrontation tbh. I don’t like to hold anything in, it takes me tons of energy to not say something. I spoke my feelings today to my now ex bf. He didn’t want to deal with it, but I just said: would you rather I don’t speak my mind and just play nice? Because that’s just not real. And I am not going to do that.
I spoke my mind. He didn’t like it and he was trying to respond as little as possible and I broke up with him.
When I am with someone I need the to be on the same level of honesty. I have no time for lies. I would take the harsh truth over a sweet lie every day.
And also: I just feel like not being honest poisons my soul, it just feels wrong, and I tried it a couple of times (because I am aware of social code that were not “supposed to say” certain things), but then I blab the truth out anyways. I just don’t like to suppress the truth and hold it in and I don’t like having secrets, there’s a weight that comes with that.
I accept that not everyone will like me, because I basically just speak my mind. But the people who do like me: at least they will like the real version of me with my strengths and my flaws. I am working on my flaws, but I also accept that I am not perfect.
Once again women prove to be better people...
Not true
This is why my partner and I talk about being honest. The more honest and forth coming in the relationship the more free you feel. Free to ask to have your own needs met. And if you can trust the other person will listen and accept the truth no matter what then you have a real connection.
Absolutely!
wouldn't men lying create more problems and would be opposite to freedom?
No men lie because it's form of hiding things.
These to me are just excuses for why men lie.. even when it comes to putting a title on yourself it's hiding who you really are this also leads to guilt.
I don't agree with this it's all just petty excuses for their lies.
If someone lies to you in a relationship they have no respect for you.
So go deeper. Why would someone hide something from a partner? And what would cause someone to be in relationship with someone they have no respect for (if what you say is true)?
He literally said that but in different wording
@@BryanReevesto use their assets to enhance themselves? You men use lies like con men and predators and take others freedoms to gain your own, ie get your way without pay. Get thee behind me Satan.
By the way your "mind blowing" revelations are not news to most women of any experience with men, we know you are egotistical, self serving, cold calculating predators upon women and children, and in truth warlike when your lies and seen for exactly what they are, designed to hurt and abuse others and an insult to the real meaning of freedom. What a croc of word salad to hope to gaslight others as news. Men are so self serving, no surprise women are calling it quits on them, entirely. Immature and harmful men should be sent to 'freedom" islands where they no longer hurt others but will no doubt hurt each other.
@@vickimerritt2832Bravo! Well said.
I have a guy friend who does this. He drives me CRAZY!!!!
Especially that i always know he's lying.
yeah, it's amazing how often us guys think we can get away with a lie, and we're totally NOT getting away with it.
If the man lies because of the need of freedom, does this mean he wants to quit the relationship and be more free and independent?
No. Not necessarily. At the core, it just means he's not seeing himself in his thoughts as free, and he is acting out in ways to create more freedom for himself, even though those ways aren't going to work at the core.
It means you need to leave him alone yes... he's just going to use you
Have you noticed that most men who lie to their spouse expect her to stay married to them? That they are not at all happy about the idea of her moving on? What does that tell you?
and so...then what? I feel like so many videos about men for women are explaining some of the crappy behavior...are they men...or boys? I mean...this just sounds unevolved to me
The coverup is worse than the crime
And they make such GD fools out of themselves.
I've been watching your videos for a while, they're terrific and super helpful! (Love this setting btw...) Today I came back to watch this again because my husband just lied about something really trivial (to make me look bad, so therefore himself look good?!?!) and I'm working on not getting angry or starting an argument about it. Thanks for all your fantastic insights. They've been keeping me sane!
you may be keeping your self sane but you are enabling him to lie to you and others more, save yourself before his lies are not so trivial.
By equating the word freedom with self centered people who don’t take responsibility, you are putting these people in a frame of value. Call these people what they are, selfish avoiders.
Hi Bryan how great was that! Thank you. I WILL sit with it!:) Love and stay great 🌸
They lie because they can
Ok. Everybody can. Go deeper.
😮🍎🤯
Juicy apple of greatness! All makes sense ❤️ so happy to have crossed this channel 🙏 also started reading Dear Lover so I'm digging the DD reference!! Lol
Thank you!!
Welcome aboard! (Dear Lover is an EPIC experience)
some men lie because those men were punished for telling the truth. Like a couple of minutes ago, i was bashed, gaslighted and shamed by a woman for speaking up on a truth (which i predicted) so part of me wonders should i lie or not communicate at all (which im gonna get hated for regardless)?
@@coreyondavis6032 I’ve been there before. You’re living in an unsustainable lose-lose situation, damned if you do damned if you don’t. You’ve got choices but the only meaningful one is to decide this dynamic doesn’t work for you (or her) anymore and figure out how to change the way you two communicate.
They all do to get what they want. To make themselves look good. Makes sence.
Wow. Truth!
Wow this helps alot
Great information I just learned something today thank you
So true.
So on point! Thanks💚
I know one man who lies to look good. Yes. A very near relation of mine. I know three women who lies. Big time. And that is not to protect other peoples feelings and to loose connection. One of my women relations told me that she was ready to lie in court. Because she hated another person so much. I believe that we can never put men and women in one box. We are all different. 🙂. Masculine, feminin. There can be some genral stuff there. That's right. I have now experienced that some people are very good at lying. Others are not.
Very profound
As always, on par with the level I see things. Through the heart...❤️️
I completely agree!
Sooooo what’s the solution to this?? 😔🤗
accurate
So if God is light & the truth and men constantly lie to you-you know whom they want to destroy-you guessed it, God!!
Hey that's not entirely true. I'm a woman and lied to make myself look good & have control. I don't lie when a man passes me off at all!
Hi you!❤️❤️
Hey Ashley!! Long time!! 👋
@@BryanReeves hey hey!❤️❤️
Very interesting
I agree
O
Black people have subconsciously learned to lie about effects and pain of racism - because they know it will be challenged and invalidated angrily. Unless can strongly accept this and protest as an activist or face this well, then day to day, you lie and pretend it’s not happening. Stores a lot of toxicity.
Great concept to teach and understand my people pleasing issues. Thank you. ❤️ I won’t abandon myself in work personal or any other relationships. I can’t afford to lose the connection with myself in sacrifice of connection with others . Will be superficial relationships if the relationship with myself isn’t solid and authentic anyways. I always hold back 😪 I’ll work on not self abandoning now 👊🏾
we tell the truth after she fall in love this way she won't leave
hello
You mean tell you there wife died To date you very selfish to get a relationship