Same, I thought I had been out of the loop and missed discovering her, we will be proud to say we knew she was awesome before she blew up and hit major breadtuber sub levels! Makes us cool by proxy!😅🙆🏽♀️
"Don't throw away your youth...because of something as abstract and dumb as passing. If you want to wait until you pass to live your life, to live the life you always wanted, you never will. Because nobody ever passes...People--they just are. People--they just exist. They have experiences of gender, living, and transitioning that are so individual...Everyone understands themselves differently and they will present what gender is uniquely to them...We are playing a game we can't win." "I know this is a bit of an NPC thing to say, but--sometimes NPCs can help you get where you need to go." I'm cis and now I'm crying at work 😭 This same concept applies to my struggle with losing and gaining weight and accepting my body for how it is. I'm 26 and I often put off living "until I'm smaller again." You're absolutely right. Thank you for this. You're about to gain so many subscribers--I couldn't believe the number I saw under your name. Count me in 💝
Hey Madison, this was definitely one of my favorite comments to read by far. I'm very happy that the video connected this much to you, and as I said, this wish to belong and to live happily as ourselves is not only a queer issue - we all are going through horrible things, terrible societal expectations, and I think the most important thing is really - to always try to be happy today. Very happy to have you on board! 🥰
I, as a depressed cis gay guy, feel much like you about those words, because the gay niche has its own problematics that are different from what Cecilia presented here but somehow are similar in a sense that they make me and some other guys feel stranded and cast outside by the community, and it is so because some, like me, are living just the online experience, in a "home office" way of sorts, instead of taking part in the culture/communities in person, getting to know new people and how they live and enjoy their experiences. Postpone living for whatever reason (in my case because sometimes I just don't feel like it) is really a bad idea and we surely deserve more.
And yes, in the end it is possible we are seen in 8 million different "genders", unique to the perception of each individual, and we can sometimes fit and "pass" through one's point of view and at the same time "fail" by other people standards, but as Cecilia said, it's capitalism again setting a bar just for us to fail, so we are not obliged to live by all standards set by other people, but just the ones that are basic for human coexistance (not sure it is a word), such as separating differents kinds of trash, being nice to others or taking showers regularly, I guess
i’m a transfem minor and since i realized this i’ve had so much anxiety that i’ll never be able to pass or that ill never be pretty as the women that give me this gender envious feelings and i will be coming back to this video biweekly to help with that
I’m really glad my following of Wolfe Glick and VGC stuff brought me to your channel, because your videos in general, and this one in particular, are REALLY good! I hope your algorithm traction continues to grow, your channel really deserves more attention.
Don't you dare apologize for your beautiful Brazilian accent! The way you say infamous and frequently is extremely charming! Technically I can't speak for the entire United States but to the ear of a person in the US the Portuguese accent and pronunciation is very attractive to our ears, now for example there are other accents that don't sound quite as lovely in English but I don't want to be rude, I'll just say that a certain German chancellor would have a very harsh sounding accent. Also, great video full of nuance that I think will be beneficial for many young women. Strangely enough my daughter never really voiced concerns about passing but she really needed affirming surgery for her mental health, but it was for her not for anyone else. She's kind of special that way! ☺️
I've been telling people this for months now. I'm coming up on 2.5 years HRT and "pass", but I still get misgendered occasionally because I'm tall. It's basically only men who do the "tall == man" snap decision, especially when they are short, and they seem embarrassed by it when I start talking. I was so focused on every time I got a "dude/bro/man/sir" I was ignoring that it was happening way less. Women were using more terms of endearment and it took me realizing that "sir" is not used the same way as "ma'am" or "miss". I'm a tall, fem leaning tomboy and I don't wear makeup. I know cis women who are shorter and more fem than me who get misgendered. It's arbitrary and society treats men as the default. Once I realized that I stopped caring as much about the occasional "sir" or whatever. I just ignore it as misspeak. It rarely happens now. I see cis women all the time who have more "masculine" features than I had *before* I started transitioning.
yeah, that "tall=man" attitude feels so weird to me tbh. when still a cis guy, i was really attracted to a few super hot tall girls, one might've been even taller than me - and i'm not that short myself, although i never bothered to remember the exact number. somewhere between 175 and 180 cm i would guess. like why should i care? the only time when it matters is when a tailor is making a custom suit for you but they would have the measuring tools on them anyway. oh, and in transport with sleeping seats they aren't usually long enough, but okay, i can tolerate that for a while. but for human to human interaction why should it even matter... 🤯 and oh my goodness i can remember that taller girl so vividly even after these years. that smile, that gracefulness, the style in clothes... it's a shame i couldn't figure it out how to approach girls as a man, but now i realise it wasn't just a crush, it was also gender envy 😅
this video resonated with me a lot even tho im not transfem, i've been lucky to stay away from 4chan and all that toxicity (i already hated transmed before actually coming out to myself lol) but i still get insecure and very preoccupied with passing from time to time even tho im aware that it's not worth the effort im hoping that this video and your channel gets picked up by the algorithm because i think your message is something that a lot of us need to hear thank you for this wonderful video, much love from mexico!
I almost at the end of the video, and I can’t believe you haven’t tons of subscribers already. Love what you’re doing, you have absolutely earned a new person in your audience, I’m glad that sometimes YT recommendations do work.
@@cecilily absolutely, I can’t wait to see what you’ll pull out next 😌 do you have an upload schedule? I clicked the notification bell but I can miss it sometimes anyway, so if you do I could (maybe lol) remember to look better at it. Sending a big hug your way 🤍
@@karmica7591 I don't have anything super structured as a publishing schedule yet, I will upload as soon as it's ready, hahaha. But definitely by next weekend!
So, after picking my jaw off of the table, I just clicked to subscribe. You are awesome, and more people need to see this and hear what you are saying. RUclips is lucky to have you.
I’m glad you mentioned that nonbinary people essentially can’t “pass.” As a genderqueer/nonbinary person early in their transition, I used to be really worried about passing or at the very least not getting only one gendered pronoun every single time. Now I’ve realized that there is no way for me to “pass” and I don’t even want to. I’d rather be openly queer and make people question their own assumptions about gender. However, knowing that the world is full of people that don’t know what being genderqueer/nonbinary is and that I’ll have to continually explain myself for the rest of my entire life. BUT I know it’ll be worth it because living openly as myself in all of the messy, confusing ways that entails, because being queer makes me happy.
Good video. I know I'll never 'pass' but I never really 'passed' in my original gender either, being treated as a freak is so natural to me after all these decades I just figure "F@@k it" I'm going to be me and just own it.
Here's my philosophy: learn how to build your look around what works for you. Maybe Iron Valiant will never be a bulky stalwart, but there are many different viable builds for it that work extremely well. Just see the "Schrodinger's Iron Valiant" video. Edit: Found a link to the meme. Surprisingly elusive. Edit 2: I apologize if I was completely incoherent. It's way too late and I have a headache.
I want to do hormones not from a fear of not passing, but just because of a pure inkling of 'i want to'. Doing things for reasons clamp down the joy of the pure act of it. Im working to see if, detached from social conditioning, rational and fears, if that desire still exists in me.
Very good. I'm so glad I found your channel. I've shared it with friends and will look forward to future videos. After a clash with a "friend" who turned out to have terfy views, this was the cure to my TTTT headache. X
God. I really need a be more irl pilled. I'm not as bad as the boymoding 4tranners anymore, at least I 24/7 girlmode... finally... But I am way too scared to actually get out there. I know it mostly has to do with my mental health and coping mechanisms that I built up. But it's not like knowing that fixes my fucking brain.
It's important to take your time as well. I think that knowing what's better for you is always a great first step, but you don't need to force yourself to do anything that's not fully comfortable. Maybe try to be in spaces where you know you will feel well? And start from there :)
A-bomination! a matt walsh jumpscare with no warning?! what's next?! are you gonna tell me santa is not real? are you gonna steal my cat?! how far is too far for you?
that was a very informative and well researched video, i learned a lot, thanks! (btw youtube recommended me this video and i was so happy to see you doing so well! we met each other more than a decade ago, so it was really cool to see you so happy. keep up the good work!)
@@cecilily oh, you probably don't remember me, but we first met at felit, then we bonded over pottermore on twitter for a while, then we sometimes bumped into each other because we had mutual friends etc we were young but i remember you, i recognized you immediately. anyway! i was in a hurry when i left the first comment, but i'd like to say that even though i'm a cisgender woman, some of the things you said in your video resonated deeply with me. it comforted me even though your video certainly was not made for me but i am thankful anyway. society and beauty standards & gender expectations made me question my place in the world and who i was for a long time until i finally realized that none of that really matters & finally felt good about myself
I'm a tall genderqueer afab with body hair longer than the hair on my head and small breasts. The way I look is very confusing to many people and I get sir'd almost as frequently as I get ma'amed. Gender perception really is wacky.
I just finished the video... Thank you for your words. As a trauma survivor and a (genderfluid) transfem myself, they really resonated with me and reminded me that my people really are out there. I guess it'll be hard, but I feel a newfound hope now.
Dear lord. I had never heard about these 4tran, tttt communities before and they seem so opposite of what the larger trans community stands for. We should be lifting each other up, not calling each other slurs
I just wanted to say thanks for this vid, you summarize a lot of thoughts that took me months to work through, and realizing it could have taken... Years.
21:02 I'm sorry, "Dick Swaab"? my condolences Mr Swaab... On a more serious note, I'm a cis guy so this topic mostly doesn't apply to me directly, although I was quite a late bloomer during puberty so I experienced some insecurity in that sense, and I very occasionally got misgendered. But I will try to incorporate your perspective into my own so I am better equipped as I try to do trans allyship 👍🏳⚧
I don't really know a lot about trans issues, so I guess I have no right to comment on this video, but I'm going to anyway. I don't really get why the media and politics divide us so much when we'd otherwise have a lot in common, and I'm not a socialist or communist and don't really disagree with capitalism in concept--after all, as a finance term, it's just a system of trading money for goods or services, and that's a decent way to prevent scarcity and mitigate government corruption and all of the unfairness that comes along with it, but I think it's common sense that it should all be people oriented; however, I guess common sense isn't that common, and that's the problem, isn't it? We all see the problems; we're just not sure how to fix them, so we fight each other, not over the problems themselves; we all see them, but instead over the solutions. My issue is mental illness and unfortunately, unless we have another protected identity, which I don't, we're as fair of a target of genuine hatred as we've always been.
I've gave up on ever attempting to transition. Body shape, age, and area I live in are all factors that pushed that. Edit: Yeah. Feel that Gigahun thing...
I can't speak on the area you live in but the majority of the things you're complaining about sound more like excuses that are caused by your depression rather than actually valid reasons not to transition. I strongly recommend seeing a LGBT friendly therapist. At very least they should be able to give you a more accurate assessment of how valid your fears are. I would also try to see if there are any LGBT support groups in your area. Talking to people who are queer IRL can really help you feel better about yourself.
Give it a shot. At least try out some fem-presenting looks in some places you don't visit often. Can't hurt to experiment if there's no one that will remember you.
I think Dick Swaab also recognized gender and sexuality spectra. So while the "feminine" brain exists, he aknowlegdes the differences and all inbetween. It was more like proofing the thing is real, aknowledging people are born this way and can't be forced to become the desired gender. Things that were very important to communicate in 2008 and 2010.
one of the best videos i have seen in a phat minute. genuinely, thank you from the heart of my bottom. i grew up in a religious cult where i was either too butch for being friends w/ guys & wanting to learn how to change a tire for activities or not femme enough bc i got sick of watching tangled & doing bake sales or crafts for every fundraiser. it took me till my early 20's to fully accept that gender identity & expression are fluid & have no bounds. i nor anyone else owes anyone an explanation about why or what i identify as. being nonbinary/genderluid in middle america is so isolating & taxing mentally, sometimes physically w/ outside treatment. the trans community is being targeted more than ever & i hope anyone reading this is safe & feels loved. you are all valid & deserve love.
I really loved this video! you did a great job putting into words better than I ever could so many of the thoughts and feelings I've had as I've transitioned. i have been on HRT for 6 or so years now. I started my transition when I was a teenager, just as I was starting high school. Early in my transition I spent a lot of time on trans reddit. I'm still working on deprogramming the toxic thought patterns from spending my formative years/early transition in those communities (never the 4chan related ones, but still), but I am glad to finally let myself be happy, not care so much about what others think and be who i actually want to be and I really hope more young trans girls are able to reach that point too
That's amazing to hear and I'm very happy that you enjoyed it! Spending too much time online is definitely dangerous - it helps us connect but we can also go to dark places. I really hope this reaches more people early in their transition 💖
It's called Bandeyra, by artist Fred Costa. It has trans colors, but also a cute LGBT rainbow instead of "Ordem e Progresso". You can check out more on their Instagram instagram.com/bandeyranacional/
For issues regarding the "science of being trans" I like to turn to the sentiments of Neil DeGrasse Tyson. When asked whether he had any sort of interest or scientific fascination with finding definitive, medical answers as to why some people are trans, he just said that he absolutely doesn't, and that those answers ultimately don't matter. Sometimes the best thing to do, as compassionate humans, in the face of things we don't understand is just to let it be.
I'm a cis man with a full beard, but bc I'm short with a small frame I've been misgendered from behind more than once. "Passing" is subjective and dependant on countless other factors, and can happen or not happen to anyone.
I have a high voice, no adams apple, and present sorta feminine. Im amab non-binary but have been confused for a trans man twice (that i know of). Passing is not real lol.
I will definitely give you the engagement you crave, that I might perhaps, in exchange, receive a video about the Danish Girl (and any other bad trans rep you can think of)
Caraca venho usando o youtube para aprender inglês, e seu vídeo meu deu uma ideia boa, de criar conteúdo sobre matrizes africanas que também sofrem preconceito velado, falando das diferenças daqui do Brasil e de fora. parabéns pelo vídeo e abraços de Minas.
Uai, que incrível! Eu ficaria super interessada em ouvir mais! Eu tenho um outro vídeo aqui no canal onde eu falo um pouquinho sobre racismo em Monteiro Lobato, tento explicar pras pessoas de fora, e uso como base de comparação a toda a situação que tem acontecido com a JK Rowling. Se vc quiser me dar sua opinião, ia achar super legal! (também tá legendado em PT, rs)
Wow, that's super interesting. It's always interesting for me to hear about other cultures. (Especially because the old U.S.A. pretends it's the main cha all the time.)
im not trans but this is so important. gender is a concept and not a binary. we all express differently and no one can be perfect or be seen how they want to be seen by everyone. everyone has their own perspective and opion of you and your looks and mind. some cis women have beards, some cis men cant grow a beard. many people are intersex. its all bs
Bearded women were once in freak shows. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women but transgendered. Only women with beards are bc of medical conditions. Gender is a binary bc it’s the same as sex. How you present is all in you. There’s no feeling to be male or female.
Bearded women were once in the circus for a reason. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women. Only women with beards are bc of medical conditions. Gender is a binary bc it’s the same as sex. How you present is all you. There’s no feeling to be male or female.
Bearded women were once in the circus for a reason. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women. Only women with beards are bc of medical conditions. Gender is in your head. How you present is all you. Thinking your soul/inner self is a pseudo-religious concept.
Bearded women were once in the circus for a reason. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women. Women with facial hair have medical conditions. Gender is in your head. How you present is all you. Thinking your soul/inner self is a pseudo-religious concept.
I find it interesting that a mechanic of the mind so tied to genetic sex can have so many interesting variations exceptions. You won't see me complaining: I like it when people are interesting. I crave the day when unusual gender identities are met with indifference rather than scorn.
I thought this was going to be either tips on how to pass or making fun of memes made by deranged people on how to pass. not an insightful essay on what passing even means...
@@cecilily Cant blame you for that. Im glad i clicked on it. You are great! still a little timid on cam, but that'll improve over time. Very promising channel!
If someone asked me if they passed, I'd just calculate that to if they are hot, lol. If someone asked me if they were hot, I'd probably answer the same and give them tips on how to be more hot. Maybe being a bisexual, its easier to see the full range of hotness? Idk, just a random thought I had while watching.
As a straight man, I'm relatively confident being bi let's you identify the whole range of hotness. I am frequently surprised at what many women consider attractive.
Hey I feel like your views on /lgbt/ and the type of people who post there is pretty unfair especially comparing them to misogynists when the vast vast majority of posters are normal trans women with healthy views on society just dealing with dysphoria. another thing though is the subreddits based on the board are much more mean sprited than the board itself and the vast majority of transphobic posts on the board (including the one you showed) are done by a tiny minority of posters most of them cis men.
I understand this is supposed to be a light hearted kind of feel good video. I really enjoyed the first half, the second half not so much. You really glossed over /tttt/ as this kind of dumb brain rot. It is definitely that, but if you haven’t browsed it for years like many poor souls have there you genuinely don’t understand some of nuances of it. This video barely scratched the surface of the mental damage this board can do to one’s soul. I really wouldn’t take it lightly. It’s not just girls being sad it’s suicidal ideation to the point where actual trips take turns posting about self harm and psych ward stays like it’s their personal blog and people encourage it A LOT. I don’t really think you fully understand the site to be explaining it this casually.
I am aware of that, it is just not something that can be covered on RUclips. My advice is to get out, honestly. They don't want people like me to dissect their subreddit, and expose it to the general public, so I did the bare minimum. It was my attempt to get young people out of there.
My god, you're so underrated, i thought this video had like 300k views--
I started RUclips a few weeks ago! Hahahha
Make sure to share it so that I hit 300k 😜
Oh yeah wtf I fully thought this was a bigtuber
Same, I thought I had been out of the loop and missed discovering her, we will be proud to say we knew she was awesome before she blew up and hit major breadtuber sub levels! Makes us cool by proxy!😅🙆🏽♀️
"Don't throw away your youth...because of something as abstract and dumb as passing. If you want to wait until you pass to live your life, to live the life you always wanted, you never will. Because nobody ever passes...People--they just are. People--they just exist. They have experiences of gender, living, and transitioning that are so individual...Everyone understands themselves differently and they will present what gender is uniquely to them...We are playing a game we can't win."
"I know this is a bit of an NPC thing to say, but--sometimes NPCs can help you get where you need to go."
I'm cis and now I'm crying at work 😭
This same concept applies to my struggle with losing and gaining weight and accepting my body for how it is. I'm 26 and I often put off living "until I'm smaller again." You're absolutely right. Thank you for this.
You're about to gain so many subscribers--I couldn't believe the number I saw under your name. Count me in 💝
Hey Madison, this was definitely one of my favorite comments to read by far. I'm very happy that the video connected this much to you, and as I said, this wish to belong and to live happily as ourselves is not only a queer issue - we all are going through horrible things, terrible societal expectations, and I think the most important thing is really - to always try to be happy today. Very happy to have you on board! 🥰
I, as a depressed cis gay guy, feel much like you about those words, because the gay niche has its own problematics that are different from what Cecilia presented here but somehow are similar in a sense that they make me and some other guys feel stranded and cast outside by the community, and it is so because some, like me, are living just the online experience, in a "home office" way of sorts, instead of taking part in the culture/communities in person, getting to know new people and how they live and enjoy their experiences. Postpone living for whatever reason (in my case because sometimes I just don't feel like it) is really a bad idea and we surely deserve more.
And yes, in the end it is possible we are seen in 8 million different "genders", unique to the perception of each individual, and we can sometimes fit and "pass" through one's point of view and at the same time "fail" by other people standards, but as Cecilia said, it's capitalism again setting a bar just for us to fail, so we are not obliged to live by all standards set by other people, but just the ones that are basic for human coexistance (not sure it is a word), such as separating differents kinds of trash, being nice to others or taking showers regularly, I guess
I got the, Can I ask you a question?" two years into HRT, in a city I was visiting in 2021. My stomach sank. "Are you vaccinated?" HA!!
i’m a transfem minor and since i realized this i’ve had so much anxiety that i’ll never be able to pass or that ill never be pretty as the women that give me this gender envious feelings and i will be coming back to this video biweekly to help with that
Talk about your feelings with your mother
I’m really glad my following of Wolfe Glick and VGC stuff brought me to your channel, because your videos in general, and this one in particular, are REALLY good! I hope your algorithm traction continues to grow, your channel really deserves more attention.
Don't you dare apologize for your beautiful Brazilian accent! The way you say infamous and frequently is extremely charming! Technically I can't speak for the entire United States but to the ear of a person in the US the Portuguese accent and pronunciation is very attractive to our ears, now for example there are other accents that don't sound quite as lovely in English but I don't want to be rude, I'll just say that a certain German chancellor would have a very harsh sounding accent. Also, great video full of nuance that I think will be beneficial for many young women. Strangely enough my daughter never really voiced concerns about passing but she really needed affirming surgery for her mental health, but it was for her not for anyone else. She's kind of special that way! ☺️
"Sometimes npcs help you get where you need to go"
Paraphrased probably but that hit so hard. So raw, sister. I will remember that.
I've been telling people this for months now. I'm coming up on 2.5 years HRT and "pass", but I still get misgendered occasionally because I'm tall. It's basically only men who do the "tall == man" snap decision, especially when they are short, and they seem embarrassed by it when I start talking. I was so focused on every time I got a "dude/bro/man/sir" I was ignoring that it was happening way less. Women were using more terms of endearment and it took me realizing that "sir" is not used the same way as "ma'am" or "miss".
I'm a tall, fem leaning tomboy and I don't wear makeup. I know cis women who are shorter and more fem than me who get misgendered. It's arbitrary and society treats men as the default. Once I realized that I stopped caring as much about the occasional "sir" or whatever. I just ignore it as misspeak. It rarely happens now.
I see cis women all the time who have more "masculine" features than I had *before* I started transitioning.
It could be your voice, humans tend to (unfortunately) be pretty adept at identifying sex
yeah, that "tall=man" attitude feels so weird to me tbh. when still a cis guy, i was really attracted to a few super hot tall girls, one might've been even taller than me - and i'm not that short myself, although i never bothered to remember the exact number. somewhere between 175 and 180 cm i would guess. like why should i care? the only time when it matters is when a tailor is making a custom suit for you but they would have the measuring tools on them anyway. oh, and in transport with sleeping seats they aren't usually long enough, but okay, i can tolerate that for a while. but for human to human interaction why should it even matter... 🤯
and oh my goodness i can remember that taller girl so vividly even after these years. that smile, that gracefulness, the style in clothes... it's a shame i couldn't figure it out how to approach girls as a man, but now i realise it wasn't just a crush, it was also gender envy 😅
this video resonated with me a lot even tho im not transfem, i've been lucky to stay away from 4chan and all that toxicity (i already hated transmed before actually coming out to myself lol) but i still get insecure and very preoccupied with passing from time to time even tho im aware that it's not worth the effort
im hoping that this video and your channel gets picked up by the algorithm because i think your message is something that a lot of us need to hear
thank you for this wonderful video, much love from mexico!
I almost at the end of the video, and I can’t believe you haven’t tons of subscribers already. Love what you’re doing, you have absolutely earned a new person in your audience, I’m glad that sometimes YT recommendations do work.
You have no idea how happy it makes me to read this! This is my first video on gender and there are more on the way, make sure to share it as well
@@cecilily absolutely, I can’t wait to see what you’ll pull out next 😌 do you have an upload schedule? I clicked the notification bell but I can miss it sometimes anyway, so if you do I could (maybe lol) remember to look better at it.
Sending a big hug your way 🤍
@@karmica7591 I don't have anything super structured as a publishing schedule yet, I will upload as soon as it's ready, hahaha. But definitely by next weekend!
So, after picking my jaw off of the table, I just clicked to subscribe. You are awesome, and more people need to see this and hear what you are saying. RUclips is lucky to have you.
I’m glad you mentioned that nonbinary people essentially can’t “pass.” As a genderqueer/nonbinary person early in their transition, I used to be really worried about passing or at the very least not getting only one gendered pronoun every single time. Now I’ve realized that there is no way for me to “pass” and I don’t even want to. I’d rather be openly queer and make people question their own assumptions about gender. However, knowing that the world is full of people that don’t know what being genderqueer/nonbinary is and that I’ll have to continually explain myself for the rest of my entire life. BUT I know it’ll be worth it because living openly as myself in all of the messy, confusing ways that entails, because being queer makes me happy.
Good video.
I know I'll never 'pass' but I never really 'passed' in my original gender either, being treated as a freak is so natural to me after all these decades I just figure "F@@k it" I'm going to be me and just own it.
Here's my philosophy: learn how to build your look around what works for you.
Maybe Iron Valiant will never be a bulky stalwart, but there are many different viable builds for it that work extremely well. Just see the "Schrodinger's Iron Valiant" video.
Edit: Found a link to the meme. Surprisingly elusive.
Edit 2: I apologize if I was completely incoherent. It's way too late and I have a headache.
I want to do hormones not from a fear of not passing, but just because of a pure inkling of 'i want to'. Doing things for reasons clamp down the joy of the pure act of it. Im working to see if, detached from social conditioning, rational and fears, if that desire still exists in me.
Very good. I'm so glad I found your channel. I've shared it with friends and will look forward to future videos. After a clash with a "friend" who turned out to have terfy views, this was the cure to my TTTT headache. X
Very happy to hear it helped :)
You certainly pass as a channel with over 100k subs
Definitely my transition goals! 😜
God. I really need a be more irl pilled. I'm not as bad as the boymoding 4tranners anymore, at least I 24/7 girlmode... finally... But I am way too scared to actually get out there. I know it mostly has to do with my mental health and coping mechanisms that I built up. But it's not like knowing that fixes my fucking brain.
It's important to take your time as well. I think that knowing what's better for you is always a great first step, but you don't need to force yourself to do anything that's not fully comfortable. Maybe try to be in spaces where you know you will feel well? And start from there :)
A-bomination!
a matt walsh jumpscare with no warning?!
what's next?! are you gonna tell me santa is not real? are you gonna steal my cat?!
how far is too far for you?
that was a very informative and well researched video, i learned a lot, thanks! (btw youtube recommended me this video and i was so happy to see you doing so well! we met each other more than a decade ago, so it was really cool to see you so happy. keep up the good work!)
Thanks a lot!! 💖
(Who are you though? 👀)
@@cecilily oh, you probably don't remember me, but we first met at felit, then we bonded over pottermore on twitter for a while, then we sometimes bumped into each other because we had mutual friends etc we were young but i remember you, i recognized you immediately. anyway! i was in a hurry when i left the first comment, but i'd like to say that even though i'm a cisgender woman, some of the things you said in your video resonated deeply with me. it comforted me even though your video certainly was not made for me but i am thankful anyway. society and beauty standards & gender expectations made me question my place in the world and who i was for a long time until i finally realized that none of that really matters & finally felt good about myself
Such a refreshing viewpoint about 'passing'!!!
I'm a tall genderqueer afab with body hair longer than the hair on my head and small breasts. The way I look is very confusing to many people and I get sir'd almost as frequently as I get ma'amed. Gender perception really is wacky.
I just finished the video...
Thank you for your words. As a trauma survivor and a (genderfluid) transfem myself, they really resonated with me and reminded me that my people really are out there.
I guess it'll be hard, but I feel a newfound hope now.
Dear lord. I had never heard about these 4tran, tttt communities before and they seem so opposite of what the larger trans community stands for. We should be lifting each other up, not calling each other slurs
Don't trust her. She is full of shit.
tttt is a great place
I always appreciate coming across queer creators so much. Subbed immediately
I really think this channel deserves more attention. Keep on the good content !
I just wanted to say thanks for this vid, you summarize a lot of thoughts that took me months to work through, and realizing it could have taken... Years.
21:02 I'm sorry,
"Dick Swaab"? my condolences Mr Swaab...
On a more serious note, I'm a cis guy so this topic mostly doesn't apply to me directly, although I was quite a late bloomer during puberty so I experienced some insecurity in that sense, and I very occasionally got misgendered.
But I will try to incorporate your perspective into my own so I am better equipped as I try to do trans allyship 👍🏳⚧
I feel so sorry for Dick Swaab, haha
But I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I am sooo happy to have found your wonderful videos and I'm looking forward to all the great things you are going to do with this channel! ❤️
I don't really know a lot about trans issues, so I guess I have no right to comment on this video, but I'm going to anyway. I don't really get why the media and politics divide us so much when we'd otherwise have a lot in common, and I'm not a socialist or communist and don't really disagree with capitalism in concept--after all, as a finance term, it's just a system of trading money for goods or services, and that's a decent way to prevent scarcity and mitigate government corruption and all of the unfairness that comes along with it, but I think it's common sense that it should all be people oriented; however, I guess common sense isn't that common, and that's the problem, isn't it? We all see the problems; we're just not sure how to fix them, so we fight each other, not over the problems themselves; we all see them, but instead over the solutions.
My issue is mental illness and unfortunately, unless we have another protected identity, which I don't, we're as fair of a target of genuine hatred as we've always been.
Cliquei pela curiosidade morbida sobre subculturas do reddit fiquei pela bandeira do Brasil-Trans, eu quero! :3
I've gave up on ever attempting to transition. Body shape, age, and area I live in are all factors that pushed that.
Edit: Yeah. Feel that Gigahun thing...
I can't speak on the area you live in but the majority of the things you're complaining about sound more like excuses that are caused by your depression rather than actually valid reasons not to transition. I strongly recommend seeing a LGBT friendly therapist. At very least they should be able to give you a more accurate assessment of how valid your fears are. I would also try to see if there are any LGBT support groups in your area. Talking to people who are queer IRL can really help you feel better about yourself.
Give it a shot. At least try out some fem-presenting looks in some places you don't visit often. Can't hurt to experiment if there's no one that will remember you.
I think Dick Swaab also recognized gender and sexuality spectra. So while the "feminine" brain exists, he aknowlegdes the differences and all inbetween. It was more like proofing the thing is real, aknowledging people are born this way and can't be forced to become the desired gender. Things that were very important to communicate in 2008 and 2010.
one of the best videos i have seen in a phat minute. genuinely, thank you from the heart of my bottom. i grew up in a religious cult where i was either too butch for being friends w/ guys & wanting to learn how to change a tire for activities or not femme enough bc i got sick of watching tangled & doing bake sales or crafts for every fundraiser. it took me till my early 20's to fully accept that gender identity & expression are fluid & have no bounds. i nor anyone else owes anyone an explanation about why or what i identify as. being nonbinary/genderluid in middle america is so isolating & taxing mentally, sometimes physically w/ outside treatment. the trans community is being targeted more than ever & i hope anyone reading this is safe & feels loved. you are all valid & deserve love.
I'm so happy to hear this! I know this will be a very difficult year for rural north america so I hope you stay safe and well! 💖
im not sure you would know how much i needed this video, but thank you, thank you so much for making it 💜
Shoegaze mentioned!!! [I also accepted my transness at 22]
I love so much listening to you talk about being trans and what Is it like to you and many other young trans people
I really loved this video! you did a great job putting into words better than I ever could so many of the thoughts and feelings I've had as I've transitioned. i have been on HRT for 6 or so years now. I started my transition when I was a teenager, just as I was starting high school. Early in my transition I spent a lot of time on trans reddit. I'm still working on deprogramming the toxic thought patterns from spending my formative years/early transition in those communities (never the 4chan related ones, but still), but I am glad to finally let myself be happy, not care so much about what others think and be who i actually want to be and I really hope more young trans girls are able to reach that point too
That's amazing to hear and I'm very happy that you enjoyed it! Spending too much time online is definitely dangerous - it helps us connect but we can also go to dark places. I really hope this reaches more people early in their transition 💖
I love that trans brasilian flag! (or brasilian trans flag?)
It's called Bandeyra, by artist Fred Costa. It has trans colors, but also a cute LGBT rainbow instead of "Ordem e Progresso". You can check out more on their Instagram instagram.com/bandeyranacional/
So interesting and also would absolutely love to hear about you discussed in your thesis about "The Danish Girl"!! 💜
Coming soon!
@@cecilily 😭❤️
For issues regarding the "science of being trans" I like to turn to the sentiments of Neil DeGrasse Tyson. When asked whether he had any sort of interest or scientific fascination with finding definitive, medical answers as to why some people are trans, he just said that he absolutely doesn't, and that those answers ultimately don't matter.
Sometimes the best thing to do, as compassionate humans, in the face of things we don't understand is just to let it be.
You look so much happier now!!
You made me cry at the end
Thank you!!
Nice, I was the 100th like :)
Great job on this video!
Yes! Happy to be reaching new audiences! Thanks a lot :)
really good video im algorithm boosting
I'm a cis man with a full beard, but bc I'm short with a small frame I've been misgendered from behind more than once. "Passing" is subjective and dependant on countless other factors, and can happen or not happen to anyone.
I have a high voice, no adams apple, and present sorta feminine. Im amab non-binary but have been confused for a trans man twice (that i know of). Passing is not real lol.
I feel like such a boomer, learning about these zoomer terms 😵💫 it's giving me a headache
I will definitely give you the engagement you crave, that I might perhaps, in exchange, receive a video about the Danish Girl (and any other bad trans rep you can think of)
I worry so much about passing. I am proud of you being a survivor and amazing woman. I appreciate you sharing your experience ❤️🫂
i needed this...
love this video!!! amazing videoessayist!!!!
The 4chan post is like : "Is depression trans culture?" Like anyone can be depressed and live in filth
Caraca venho usando o youtube para aprender inglês, e seu vídeo meu deu uma ideia boa, de criar conteúdo sobre matrizes africanas que também sofrem preconceito velado, falando das diferenças daqui do Brasil e de fora. parabéns pelo vídeo e abraços de Minas.
Uai, que incrível! Eu ficaria super interessada em ouvir mais! Eu tenho um outro vídeo aqui no canal onde eu falo um pouquinho sobre racismo em Monteiro Lobato, tento explicar pras pessoas de fora, e uso como base de comparação a toda a situação que tem acontecido com a JK Rowling. Se vc quiser me dar sua opinião, ia achar super legal! (também tá legendado em PT, rs)
Wow, that's super interesting. It's always interesting for me to hear about other cultures. (Especially because the old U.S.A. pretends it's the main cha all the time.)
Oh my god this is so real
Im forever a twinkhon mr.sir moder 😭
so proud of the amazing woman you are 💖
🥰🥰
certified brasil moment
U should try uploading once a week,so ur channel hits the algorithm
dunno if that's intentional, but thumbnail image on the right is edited mirrored photo of aquaria from her rpdr season promo
I grabbed the illustration from a 4tran meme actually - I think the original author used her as a base for the drawing
im not trans but this is so important. gender is a concept and not a binary. we all express differently and no one can be perfect or be seen how they want to be seen by everyone. everyone has their own perspective and opion of you and your looks and mind. some cis women have beards, some cis men cant grow a beard. many people are intersex. its all bs
Bearded women were once in freak shows. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women but transgendered. Only women with beards are bc of medical conditions. Gender is a binary bc it’s the same as sex. How you present is all in you. There’s no feeling to be male or female.
Bearded women were once in the circus for a reason. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women. Only women with beards are bc of medical conditions. Gender is a binary bc it’s the same as sex. How you present is all you. There’s no feeling to be male or female.
Bearded women were once in the circus for a reason. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women. Only women with beards are bc of medical conditions. Gender is in your head. How you present is all you. Thinking your soul/inner self is a pseudo-religious concept.
Bearded women were once in the circus for a reason. Now they’re on the street except they’re not women. Women with facial hair have medical conditions. Gender is in your head. How you present is all you. Thinking your soul/inner self is a pseudo-religious concept.
I find it interesting that a mechanic of the mind so tied to genetic sex can have so many interesting variations exceptions. You won't see me complaining: I like it when people are interesting. I crave the day when unusual gender identities are met with indifference rather than scorn.
NO GIRL WHY THIS TOPIC U BASICALLY GONNA TALK ABOUT 4CHAN /j
edit:called me out so bad yes we all went down the hole TT
😅😅😅😅
I thought this was going to be either tips on how to pass or making fun of memes made by deranged people on how to pass. not an insightful essay on what passing even means...
Sorry for this, being a small channel the youtube algorithm practically forces me to click bait a little bit 😅
@@cecilily Cant blame you for that. Im glad i clicked on it. You are great! still a little timid on cam, but that'll improve over time. Very promising channel!
This video is amazing, thanks so much! You're fantastic
Thanks a lot!
amiga você é INCRÍVEL nisso. vídeo maravilhoso! ❤
Im happy to learn youre trans and owning it
fuck the haters! go girl!
Good vid!
Mainly I want to pass before myself
nah i'd rep
based but only hrt repper pls
oi, te amo 💜
So passionate! ❤
If someone asked me if they passed, I'd just calculate that to if they are hot, lol. If someone asked me if they were hot, I'd probably answer the same and give them tips on how to be more hot. Maybe being a bisexual, its easier to see the full range of hotness? Idk, just a random thought I had while watching.
As a straight man, I'm relatively confident being bi let's you identify the whole range of hotness. I am frequently surprised at what many women consider attractive.
BE CRINGE AND BE FREE
Nossa, mas esse final foi lindo demais que isso!!! amei muito o vídeo 🥰🥰
I wish I could send this video to my younger self. ❤
Hey I feel like your views on /lgbt/ and the type of people who post there is pretty unfair especially comparing them to misogynists when the vast vast majority of posters are normal trans women with healthy views on society just dealing with dysphoria. another thing though is the subreddits based on the board are much more mean sprited than the board itself and the vast majority of transphobic posts on the board (including the one you showed) are done by a tiny minority of posters most of them cis men.
cirúrgica e necessária ✨ adorei
lots of love
tu é tudo! 🫶🏻
It's hard to listen to someone named Dick Swab.
Nominative determinism can be a mauxfaux
@@voltijuice8576 Judging people based solely on their names can be an Alternative Rock band from Sydney, Australia?
You're so cute!
Thank you! 💖
In my opinion you are very passing, but you do have telling features if you know what to look for.
❤
Great content =)
Glad you think so!
I understand this is supposed to be a light hearted kind of feel good video. I really enjoyed the first half, the second half not so much. You really glossed over /tttt/ as this kind of dumb brain rot. It is definitely that, but if you haven’t browsed it for years like many poor souls have there you genuinely don’t understand some of nuances of it. This video barely scratched the surface of the mental damage this board can do to one’s soul. I really wouldn’t take it lightly. It’s not just girls being sad it’s suicidal ideation to the point where actual trips take turns posting about self harm and psych ward stays like it’s their personal blog and people encourage it A LOT. I don’t really think you fully understand the site to be explaining it this casually.
I am aware of that, it is just not something that can be covered on RUclips. My advice is to get out, honestly. They don't want people like me to dissect their subreddit, and expose it to the general public, so I did the bare minimum. It was my attempt to get young people out of there.
Q LINDO PORRA