I miss him so much. I can’t believe we’ve even come to this point. He was my best friend. I let my relationship anxiety push him away. I loved him so much.
It sucks losing someone that you not only loved but became your bestfriend :(. I get the urge to message my ex sometimes but I've been trying to control my anxiety which was most likely the main reason I pushed her away. I love and miss her so much and I'm kinda proud of her for standing up for herself and not letting me take her for granted anymore or push her away with my separation anxiety problems. I hope she'll come back, and let me show how much work I've done. You never know what you have until it's gone..
424qwertyuiop My crush has your personality being mentioned. Do you think a person wants you to reach out? I could explain I'm not mad at them ignoring me, and I just want to know what's happening. I think they got scared after a date.
I found this to be really enlightening. I especially liked the explanation of using no contact to show your ex that you respect their decision. Breaking up is the ultimate expression of "I need space." Trying to chase them and force them to do something they clearly don't want to do is disrespectful and selfish and pushes them even further away. I think keeping this concept of respect in mind will make it easier for more people to use no contact in the right way and for the right reasons.
My ex is spilling her guts over the internet. Pouring her heart out. Revealing how she wants to be with me again six months after she initiated the break up. No contact is doing the job. And giving her my absence is creating an avalanche of anxiety in her. Now she is about seven digits away from reaching out to me. She has stood her ground this long. But she is standing on shaky ground as she notices the self improvement and the changes in me. Craig and Margaret's advice was right on. Her rebound dumped her over a month ago. Her pride and stubborn attitude won't last. Thanks Coach Craig and Margaret!
I found a new woman. With a secure attachment style. With better mental stability. Meanwhile the ex has gone back to her ex. Who is a serial cheater and is abusive. She took him back and she is now pregnant with his baby. I don't want any part of that mess. My new lady is great! And the compatibility is fantabulous! We are both happy and extremely satisfied with no drama.@@kellyseager8163
@@kellyseager8163 I got tired of her drama. And found a better woman with a secure attachment style. With no drama. And she cam't get enough of me. She is a much better match and a much better date who doesn't scream and holler over petty issues. WOW! What a relief! I finally found a woman who wants to be happy with me in her life. Who likes flowers and candy. Unlike my ex. And ME! This lady is in love! And has a positive attitude. And knows a good man when she finds one. My self improvement has finally paid off.
It hurts when they first leave. I work on myself, hoping they will come back. The problem is by that time I feel recovered and feel good about myself again and when they come back I don't really want them back.
It'd be a lot easier for me right now to know that she'll never contact me again. The uncertainty is almost worse than me always thinking something will change. It's been hell the last month and a half since she dumped me.I miss her SO much.
My ex is stubborn...she broke up with me because I was standing up to her controlling behaviour...her passive aggresivness and need to dictate the tempo of our relationship, I called her out on,because she actually has a lovely side too...Sometimes blatant honesty with your partner can backfire. She dumped me 1 week ago,and been doin no contact since. Didn't chase,beg or text once. She has to take her controlling behaviour and reign it in. I couldn't go there again,unless she acknowledged it,and stopped it.
Coach Craig Kenneth I’m not sure if you remember my skype but my ex LITERALLY SAID in the breakup “once I make up my mind I don’t change my mind.” Then her mom stated “I’ve never seen her change her mind when she has her made up her mind”.....
Coach Craig Kenneth I’m the stubborn one. The one that expects him to do things my way. But I do respect his decision. I do also it’s a bit of both. He does have a tendency to behave that way with others. But I do see that even if he is being stubborn, I need to give the freedom to be able to be himself. That is why I broke up with him. I let him go be free. Good stuff and thank you. I’m saving this one!
My ex is the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life. Every Time we've had fights and I would stop talking to him, I am always the one who ends up breaking no contact and reaching out to him first. He NEVER has been a man and apologized to me or reached out first. Now this time it's been about five months of no contact and I fear that I will never hear from him again. I don't want to be weak like in the past and reach out. I want him to know how serious I am.
I would argue the point it is abnormal behavior to get to the point where you can no longer communicate. It takes two people to make a relationship work. And you will soon discover you cannot carry the load by yourself no matter how much you care. I don't believe she will ever contact me again. No matter how committed I am to our relationship.Better to cut the loss and move on.
I have spent over a year trying to find help on a situation with a person from my past, and your videos are the only thing have have helped. Truly these videos are the only thing keeping me going right now in the right path! Thank you so much!
Just as I’m watching your informative video, my stubborn ex called me. I went radio silent for a couple days and he reached out. This is a man that is very hard lined about his decision to break things off and not willing to work through things and compromise. Your teachings work and I have a huge amount of anxiety over this breakup. My fears and my attachment style have gotten the best of me. I’m working hard on changing my behaviors. Hopefully he will see that if he comes back, I will be a better person. Thanks again for all you do! You’re saving my life and well being.
💖 My ex is very stubborn but I do feel optimistic that he will want to reconcile. I am giving him his space and giving it some time. This break up has been really tough for me and I’m sure it’s been tough for him as well. Right now I’m working on myself and just moving forward.💖
So how did it go with your ex? Has he reached out to you? Do ex's reach out if they believe you cheated or lied? (Even if you didn't ) but had a back up plan with another man for a few months. ?...😔
I love this format. I just got schooled by the two of you. It’s extremely beneficial to learn about generalities rather than only specifics regarding one particular (email) situation. Specifics are great, but this format is an excellent way to delve into educational topics applicable overall. 😊
The thing Margaret was saying about child not eating food and their parents’ reaction really hit home for me. I realised a couple of years ago how badly my mum raised me and even now at 30 years old I’m struggling in relationships because of my upbringing. But with regards to the food eating, I was a picky eater, and my mum would force me to eat foods I didn’t like, which only made my intolerance of eating increase. But not only that, she would severely reprimand me for not eating my meals, and sometimes they would get tipped on my head. Another time I didn’t like my cereal so she made me sit there until it was gone. It got soggy and she force-fed me it. I developed a terrible eating habit for years because of my mum’s treatment of me. When she could’ve just said “okay Kory, I’ll make you something you actually like”, or “okay, if you don’t want to eat, you’ll go to bed hungry.” And let me go. But instead she imprisoned me at the dinner table until I was either in tears or covered in my meal. It still haunts me today.
She’s very narcissistic. I even tried to talk to her about a serious issue recently and she ended up crying for days and playing the victim. I also told her my childhood wasn’t great and I want to build a better relationship with her. Same again. She even said “I saw nothing wrong with your childhood?”. She’s absolutely clueless. I’ve just had to detach from her.
@@SuperMisterKory You did the right thing mate. The right person for you will accept you no matter what. If anything, that right person will be equally sympathetic and will do what is possible to ensure scenarios like the moments of abuse you experienced in the past will never happen again.
Three months and 2 weeks of no contact. Still sleeping less crying and down. Long distance relationship of three years was cut short by a rejection on texts because of many reasons especially his depression during such a difficult time. It's hard to see from his perspective and I keep hurting. I want him back n hope for him to be better on his own while I try n work on myself. It's upsetting every single day
I would say after a few months it really doesn't hurt to reach out to them but do not keep trying. try a time or to but no more. if they're not interested they're either still not ready or just dont want it back
I’m not sure if he feels STUBBORN but I am certain he feels GUILTY and SHAMEFUL for doing the dumping. I wonder how long it will hold him back from contacting me.
Doing no contact, even if she wanted to reach out to me eventually, she would be to nervous to talk to me first cuz she would probably think I was mad at her/over her cuz of the no contact. I know this because she told me before she overthinks/cares a lot what people think about her.
I found so many of your videos that see right through my decisions and people's decisions. I used to pride myself on how self-reflecting i am and how insightful i am about human psychology, but i realized i wasn't THAT good. I am good, but not THAT good. Thank you.
My ex gf (she just broke up with me yesterday) ended it with her ex before me and did no contact for TWO YEARS because she didn't wanna "give him the satisfaction" that she cared too much about him and give him all the power. When she came back after two years, she thought it was gonna be this huge moment where she came back and he was gonna be crying that she's finaly back in his life and he's gonna jump at the opportunity to have him back, but when she called him he was like "ok" and kept everything casual lol. He clearly did not care one bit, and she still loved him even after those two years. Those entire two years in her mind was about him, he never left her mind...and little did she know that he had moved on a while ago. But yeah that's why I'm nervous that she might do that to me if I try doing no contact with her. She wants to "win" instead of being seen as the desperate one.
Maybe my ex might be scared of anger. She has a really hard time saying no to her boss or her friends, but on the other hand she does sometimes get angry at people and vent to me about it. Some people she never says no to, but other (like me) she wasn't even remotely scared of saying no to as she knew I wouldn't get upset with her about it
But why do they always show up the moment you give up and start not to care about them?! I went NC then really started to let go of the hope that we'd still be together. Then booom! There he was bombarding me with all his messages of apologies and how he wants me back. Smh
Maybe somehow our subconscious knows that this moment is coming but some people most maybe are reacting with a negative way to that message i have seen that too many times to myself and now i know that feeling its like that voice says no no dont to that etc.
gla22 i mean i see it in general in other things too like poker of course i would do something in that situation also i have learn from this kind of message
My ex, at first, told me she wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if she wants to get back together. A couple weeks later, she told me she wouldn’t bother telling me.
What if you're ex is stubborn but it has nothing to do with anger? My ex is not angry at me in any way shape or form. Our breakup wasn't due to a fight or anything like that. He is just stubborn in that he FIRMLY believes that since he has never changed his mind about an ex before, that he will never change his mind about me. Basically, what's done is done. He didn't think we were a good match so we'll never be able to work out, so (in his mind) why even entertain the idea of trying again?
Veronica Freda oh lord. This looks like my situation. I have no idea how to deal with it. I've been in NC for almost 3 weeks now, and I know deep down that no matter how long I don't talk to him, he will not text me or call me. The guy I was with had a hard time texting his friends and family, he wasn't really into technology, so the fact that they want him to initiate contact with me seems like I'll be waiting forever. Lol.
wow this is my situation. I'm the best relationship shes ever had but she told me when we were getting to know each other that she never takes exes back at all so I feel the same that I'll ever hear from her again
I really struggle to become angry with someone because I'm afraid of my own anger and how it can make others feel. As a child I was put down whenever I was anyway angry. Now I struggle to use my anger in positives way, except for sport
I think my ex is way too stubborn and when he makes a decision he sticks to it so I doubt that even if he wants to get back together he won't say anything
@@truecrimetales2200 well the funny thing is we still work together so he didn't really need to reach out to me 😅 it's been about a year and 2 months since he broke up with me and he has not mentioned once about us getting back together and I never wanted to bother him about it either
I wish that I knew this 20 years ago. This makes total sense. My behaviour in the past has been my own enemy. But I won't stop working, because its better for everyone if I can be the best version of myself that I can be.
Coach Craig, what if when your ex broke up with you, he immediately asked to take it back because he realized it was a mistake.. But then you ask for space after he spends hours trying to change your mind.. and he agrees to give you time. Should you still wait for him to reach out during no contact then, or is that your responsibility now?
@@stogie0608 we reconnected last year in June, it was great we travelled together etc... then in Sep neither of us could compromise about moving to our cities ( she used live here but moved so far away to be close to her family) so we split amicably. we didnt talk since Sep until last week she sent me a text. and i replied... we ve been cool since texting almost everyday. my guess is she is planning to come back? but i dont wanna start that conversation. so we will see what happens. :)
YES! My ex gf is just like that! She'd rather be alone, stick with her decision and feel wanting a boyfriend rather than admit she misses me and try to work things out. She even told me before that her beautiful sister "is also without a bf because she has just as bad a character as me". She would rather wallow in her grief rather than come before me and initiate the conversation to say sorry. If she never comes back i hope she REGRETS HER DECISION FULLY months and years later. My fucking idiot little girl oh why did you do it.
I understand how you feel but most people move on. Oh we would love to believe those.who hurt us spend their lives grieving for us but truth is they get over us in time as we get over them.
I'm going through a breakup also, wishing he'd burn up my phone just so I can ignore him. I like these videos also, but the bottom line is if we have to give it this much brain power and strategizing, the ex us simply not the right person for us. Still heart crushing tho.
My ex is one of those absolutely terrified people of people being mad and stuff. I really don’t see her reaching out due to that. Particularly when I didn’t react to the breakup particularly well (dumped via text). I really do wish I sent the clean slate message back when it happened. Think it may be too late at this point to not be seen as manipulative but I truly, genuinely feel terrible about it. And it truly was completely out of character for me. Hopefully at some point she realizes that she had never seen that before in the 12 years we knew each other and year of dating and that it’s not typical of me but her fears rule her life and I don’t see that happening. That’s something I’m going to have to own going forward. I still don’t think it was terrible compared to how a lot of other people would have handled it but still. She’s incredibly sensitive.
@@rwentfordable I ended up hearing from her about 2 years later. Told her I wasn’t interested in reconnecting in any meaningful way and sent her on her way. Once you do the work on yourself you’ll level up past them. Most of me doesn’t remember what I saw in her now
Wow! So much wisdom in this video. I've watched a bunch of your videos, but this one really hits home on so many levels. Thank you for looking so deep into these issues ❤
I so strongly disagree I missed the loving daylight out of my ex but stay stubborned enough that I never reached out. Yes I drafted 1,000 text and emails but never sent it
Unxpekted well I tried to fix things with my ex last night. He’s very stubborn, said that he gets it that I’m not happy with him🙄omg! Wasn’t about not being happy with him it was about him not showing interest in me. I just back off, dislike him on Instagram, no point of having an ex liking all my posts on my Instagram. He can get what he deserves, be alone for the rest of his life.
When I was seeing my ex, she would say to me that she missed a guy she was seeing previously who she'd blocked etc.(also a mate of mine) because they used to be good friends so I recommend unblocking him and reaching out and she said it would be too awkward. She said she wished she could just bump into him somewhere instead... Well it's over a year of no contact myself with this woman and she never did reach back out to my friend, so given that piece of insight I really do believe that even if she missed me a lot and wanted me back in her life she couldn't bring herself to contact me because of the conflict. She is extremely avoidant. I do think it's possible.
Wow I'm so sorry to hear this. My ex it's just as proud. She would say when we used to brake up and get back together that she would miss me so much and wanted many times to call but she was afraid of rejection and that I wouldn't accept her but I made sure I told her I would be actually waiting. It's been almost a month since she left me for good and I don't even get a feeling she would contact me bc we had lack of trust and it was a ldr which hurts to know but I truly wish she would contact me some how.
A different coach did research on people who get back together. Something like 60 percent of the people got back together because the dumped person reached out at some point. I've also encountered people who were feeling a certain way who didn't want to reach out but wanted contacted. From Gottman himself... a lot of theory in social science are guesses and not based off evidence gathered from successes.
So even if they were the one to never listen to me whenever i spoke about anything break up with me, i still have to tolerate not being heard at all and just listen to what they want, forsaking what i want or need??
So, you need to leave anyway. And either they come back for fear you leaving, or you move on with past left behind. Treat every getting back together as breakup.
different people. some fix the problem and get back better then ever (which is the best way imo) some exchange the prob with another and another ... repair guys;)
Hey coach Craig Kenneth, love your videos they've stopped me from doing some pretty stupid things to try and get my ex back. I was wondering if you could make a video on "how to keep a girl chasing you while in a relationship"
Yep that’s me. I was no contact before no contact was cool 😂. I’ll die before I give in if it wasn’t my fault. I admit my mistakes so if I did something I quickly admit and correct it. But if I was done wrong…and they won’t admit it….it will snow 6 feet in hell before I reach out. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong and I expect to get the same in return.
I met a wonderful guy 2 months ago. We became very close, very fast. We dated very lovingly. We didn’t have sex yet. One night we met for dinner, in my opinion, the whole night was just off. I was preoccupied with other thoughts and he was a little distant. I felt like he was “too friendly” with other ladies at the bar. I walked out and left him at the restaurant. Now, he need time to “think” about the relationship. He’s not contacting. Driving me insane. Help!
I'm 9999999.999% sure my ex is too stubborn to reach out despite using his own son to ask me a favor yet still no reply or thanks. Then ASSUMING Christmas gift box was for both (with only son's name). Only good thing is there are tons of reminders of me in their apartment. His brother, one of his sisters and a mutual friend unfriended me after breakup, yet son and another sister didn't want to cut ties.
Haha.. Craig, i was pretty stubborn when i was a kid... i didnt want to eat food my sister cooked because i just didnt believe she could cook good food. I told my family id rather eat dirt... they yelled at me to me to go get a cup and eat it... so i did... showed them my cup of dirt and ate it in front of them and told them it was good. Lmao... Really if they didnt fight me and left me alone... eventual i probably would have eaten it.
Hi Coach Craig, my ex is very stubborn, he ended things and I was not expecting it, he has lied to me in the past and I told him I do not trust him 100% and wanted to work things out and asked him to help me gain the trust back, we had planned counseling sessions and a summer visit as we are long distance also we had plans that were up to 6 months from now as we saw each other one a month. He just picked on the trust issues and end it as I was asking him for more attention and he said he can't give it to me and was bothered by my lack of trust in him. He said he cared and will miss me and asked me to be friends, we have been together 2.5 years and I said no friends as I listen to your teachings and applied the NC rule. He said he respected my wish to not be friends and that was that...........what are my chances to him coming back ? I am experiencing lot of separation anxiety it's been 3 weeks...I am still in shock and can't believe he just ended it .
I am sorry for my previous comment. Now i know EXACTLY why she became stubborn. Just as u said i was anxious and wanted her to follow my side and she was afraid to lose her freedom. I also learned that i have fear of anger because of childhood troubles. I am happier now that i am learning more about myself because of this channel and coach Lee. But what did it cost? Everything.
When an ex reaches out you're not supposed to attend the call right that minute. Its like her texting at 10:34 and you replying at 10:35. That shows youre desperate. Its better that you didnt answer the call. Texting back in the morning saying you had a long day and couldnt answer would be the best option. Its good that you missed it :)
Ok well if we have a strong need to be with others, we can just choose a new partner, who's to say that the ex will choose to come back? There are unlimited new options out there.
It is , but it also depends on each person. I personally am NOT a person who looks for someone new, and i actually NEVER have options. If im really interested im mainly only interested in YOU (ONE person) , i do not see anyone else. And not even on purpose ,i just noticed over many years that im just not that kind of a person. Im a 30 year old (woman) , really only dated 3 times in my live, between of each of those men i had 2-3 years breaks , with that i mean i had zero interests in anyone for a longer time. (with ''really only dated 3 times'' i meant ,those 3 were the people i dated for the longest time, anything else was kindergarden to me since it was only 1-2 weeks and i was between 15-20 years old). I do not tend to fall in love often its super rare, so if i do i tend to just stick with that one person , i never look for other options at that time (and also never did after it ended, like i said ..takes me at least 2 years for me to be ready to look for someone new).
I hate my parents. Abusive, control freaks, and they always want problems. Cause of that I only stay in my room when im home and if I’m out I won’t go home unless I know they’re sleeping... This is the worst part ab my breakup situation. My parents always have had my anxiety at an all time high recently and it’s not getting better. It’s been terrible for years and it’s like I’m still not used to it. I wish it could b over w em
Probably is a cancer .. They like to ghost and have a hard time admitting to their wrongs .... He did NOT upgrade ...lol ..I tried to talk with him ..he had no remorse ! None ! Oh well ..I took time to heal and am blessed 100 fold with a better man .
People, I had the most stubborn ex. If you think it's your ex you're wrong. It' mine :D. Believe me. Never ever possible that HE would contact me no matter what I did. Guys who wrote me on insta after I blocked and deleted him on WhatsApp. Don't do that just like that. I only did because he ghosted me after I went to his city. Now he's commenting on my insta stories and stuff. He's also got a serious relationship now so don't know what him reaching out is worth. But it's still sooooo pleasing to know he doesn't't know himself to be in the better position. And he's a handsome and decent guy that doesn't seem as a douchebag to anyone on the outside. So just to sum up people. If that guy "came back", there is a chance for you too, if you do no contact.
she left me after being back in town for only 2 weeks. I met her twice for dates that went great and then she went back to brazil to see her family for 3 months and the whole time she was there she called me every day and facetimed me multiple times a day and sent me hundreds of pictures and videos told and showed her whole family me. when she got back we went out a lot I took her on a trip that went awesome and then a week later she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship. I heard from her mom a few weeks after the breakup that she told her mom I didn't act like the same person as when I was in Brazil but I don't even know what that means because I was the same. she told me things she's never told anyone before and really pulled me in and then just left me. I was taking it slow and she was too but before the breakup she started telling me all of these serious things about us and me and now I'm left hurt because of how good she treated me and how she was always telling me shes there for me and actually being there for me. her mom said something that she thought that I was trying to get too close to her which my ex told me she doesn't do which I understood but how was I was supposed to know because a lot of the things she said to me she ended up doing it the opposite. I mean she wanted to see me every day pretty much and constantly telling me how much she liked me and how beautiful my eyes were and stuff like that. I just wanted to get close to her too like she was me
My husband is stubborn. He left me six month ago after 28 years of marriage. I am devastated and want him back. I told him I will give him space and time, after a lot of begging, but he says he can't and gas moved on. I will NOT accept this. I asked if he still loves me than he hesitate for a second and said Yes. Another time I Said I want him to come home and he said in a low voice, you may not want me back meaning later. This won't happen as far as I'm concerned. Please advise option.
I liked this video, makes you think, (after all the weeks, months and maybe years) if your ex IS really stubborn about reaching out. However, you still have doubts about it.
Does this mean that going no contact is equivalent to being stubborn ?...since it’s being done to get results WE want. Example, my ex blocked me on certain platforms of social media and through phone because I went into NC. Can that mean they want YOU to chase THEM?
I'm sure mine is very stubborn. It's not just the break up I feel he's stubborn about either. It's many other things, he'll even act childish n throw tantrums if he thinks he'll win. Also after the first break up he said it was also pride n insecurity..... N I didn't even pester him into coming back I know he's suffering because he's exploded at me multiple times when I left him alone......n I was still living in the house when we broke up up until I moved... Hes not just stubborn he's impulsive n self destructive... I can only PRAY he's stays the hell away but I can't even have that cause he keeps sending his damn friends to Snoop on my life
I haven't had a coaching from you but I have watched every video and I cannot put into words how grateful I am for the effort you put into the videos I have learnt so much about myself and other people and have put my head in the right place as regards getting over my childhood and returning to competitive sport after a 15 year absence and a battle to overcome obesity to do so. I remember your video where you thought Margaret wouldn't make it and smile every time I see a video with her in as all our prayers got answered. Keep up the good work in changing people's lives people you will never know or meet, one view at a time. You are both the guidance I never had.
What if your ex really is stubborn. Like it runs in the family. For example her relatives are all known for cutting people out of their lives on a whim, including other relatives. Even cutting out the family members she lives with for months at a time. Like not engaging with her mother for almost a month because she felt 'disrespected' and to teach her a lesson. I'm not joking. And my ex also manages to cut out her best friends for months, sometimes even years at a time. Other than that she's a lovely woman ...
I was dating a man like this. He cuts off people as soon as they displeased him. Did it to me so why would I even want him back? I did care deeply and Im very hurt. But he tossed me away like the trash.
my ex bf of a year plus and i were in international relationship and we met 4 times, a mth or 2 each. We always argued, i became insecure and needy and after our last travel in jan 2018, he decided our rls wasnt sustainable and he wasnt happy anymore and wanted to break up. I still miss him but we didnt talk since apr 2018. He never reach out and ive deactivated my social media in march 2019 and i only left him on tinder so that i could see our distance. But he just deleted me off tinder last week, we met there during his trip to my country. What is that mean? Are we done forever? :(
1 year and 10 months and she finds a boyfriend at the beggining of this year and i didin't know, she didn't let me see on her socials. She was really hard to talk with
I just had a breakup i try to stop her still she left me alone i try my best And yeah she has a bad attitude and very pride of herself she never apologize never and i dont think so shes coming back
She left me, i did not reach out and i will not. I know it is over and try to move on but one part of my hearth is still hoping that she will come back to me. I hate this hope.
He's very stubborn,and a narcissist too,and worst if all he picked someone over me,he said I have love for you but I'd rather be friends,I'm crushed!! I don't think he'll ever come back,plus he's used to me always looking for him
Is this something that could be improved with therapy if partner does extreme stubbornness, shutting off, ghosting til they feel, leaving and disappearing as a means of control to win (even when there really isn’t a fight?) - They always come back when they feel like and all I’ve done at this point is just walk away and begin no contact which I may honestly never undo. | is it possible some people truly just become stubborn to win and even won’t contact just to stand in the mud longer to show they can be tougher & bigger and badder and more unscathed than you? I’ve never experienced this in 35 years and if therapy could help this I would consider it, because I didn’t think anything could change him. He was hit for 20 years by a parent and has no coping mechanisms beyond defensiveness and not showing anyone “break” you.
Coaching sessions?!?! How about talking about it much more in the daily vidoes?!!! lol Talking about "calming ourselves down". I'm at about a -8 with that task.... EEK! Love you guys! All 3 of you are amazing in your own ways, as well as some of the same. 😘
My ex is stubborn. She refuses to believe she did anything wrong, blamed me for everything and decisions she made. She once didn’t talk to her own grandma for 5 months who she was super close to because her grandma hurt her feelings. I have no chance of getting her back
What if he isn't stubborn, but rather beating himself up for having hurt you? What if he doesn't reach out because of how badly he feels he's hurt you during the breakup, and figures that it is better to stay away? What if he prefers to stay away even though he misses me terribly because it is easier for him to believe that I will find someone better who loves me the way I deserve? It's a strange thing, but my ex was a lot into self-imposed shutting down. I wouldn't be surprised if he would stay away thinking he's a piece of shit for having hurt me, not even once thinking that him staying away might hurt me too.
My bf broke up with me and I agree with the decision, later the next day he called me a lot of times in his two accounts but I did not respond, i did not answer his calls..
I'm 8n a situation where my Ex was and probably still is a Narcissist. When we split up we had attitude and I said nasty things to each other. Now I'm being civil and polite he's not responding to me. As much as it hurts and confuses me I'm just about giving up. I'm so confused i don't know what to do. 🍒
My ex hasn’t really reached out they forward me a email for my work with no message just forwarded it then they liked a couple of post of one of my girlfriend fb who she doesn’t know or met or contacted on this girls company fb which to me is she knows it will obviously get back to me is she reaching out or should I continue with no contact add to this she is seeing some one else for past 5 months what do I do nothing and wait for more direct approach to me
I miss him so much. I can’t believe we’ve even come to this point. He was my best friend. I let my relationship anxiety push him away. I loved him so much.
As I love mine and her anxiety and my stubborn self have tore peices outta each other
How are you doing now? Did he reach out?
I want to thank the two of you for another wonderful video..
update ?
Same. She was my first true love but I pushed away straight into the arms of other men now. I'll never forgive myself. Now going to therapy smh
It sucks losing someone that you not only loved but became your bestfriend :(. I get the urge to message my ex sometimes but I've been trying to control my anxiety which was most likely the main reason I pushed her away. I love and miss her so much and I'm kinda proud of her for standing up for herself and not letting me take her for granted anymore or push her away with my separation anxiety problems. I hope she'll come back, and let me show how much work I've done. You never know what you have until it's gone..
the same here
424qwertyuiop My crush has your personality being mentioned. Do you think a person wants you to reach out? I could explain I'm not mad at them ignoring me, and I just want to know what's happening. I think they got scared after a date.
J I guess it really depends but like Coach says, if they back away you back away. Unfortunately we can't force someone to respond to us :(
424qwertyuiop Okay thanks for responding. I guess I'll just back away. It's sad people do this.
Same here
I found this to be really enlightening. I especially liked the explanation of using no contact to show your ex that you respect their decision. Breaking up is the ultimate expression of "I need space." Trying to chase them and force them to do something they clearly don't want to do is disrespectful and selfish and pushes them even further away. I think keeping this concept of respect in mind will make it easier for more people to use no contact in the right way and for the right reasons.
It definitely is not selfish.
It’s harder to see it as respecting their decision when they send indirect breadcrumbs
My ex is spilling her guts over the internet. Pouring her heart out. Revealing how she wants to be with me again six months after she initiated the break up. No contact is doing the job. And giving her my absence is creating an avalanche of anxiety in her. Now she is about seven digits away from reaching out to me. She has stood her ground this long. But she is standing on shaky ground as she notices the self improvement and the changes in me. Craig and Margaret's advice was right on. Her rebound dumped her over a month ago. Her pride and stubborn attitude won't last. Thanks Coach Craig and Margaret!
Jinx Lee
So… What ended up happening? Update?
I found a new woman. With a secure attachment style. With better mental stability. Meanwhile the ex has gone back to her ex. Who is a serial cheater and is abusive. She took him back and she is now pregnant with his baby. I don't want any part of that mess. My new lady is great! And the compatibility is fantabulous! We are both happy and extremely satisfied with no drama.@@kellyseager8163
@@kellyseager8163 I got tired of her drama. And found a better woman with a secure attachment style. With no drama. And she cam't get enough of me. She is a much better match and a much better date who doesn't scream and holler over petty issues. WOW! What a relief! I finally found a woman who wants to be happy with me in her life. Who likes flowers and candy. Unlike my ex. And ME! This lady is in love! And has a positive attitude. And knows a good man when she finds one. My self improvement has finally paid off.
@@jinxlee8556how is it now?
It hurts when they first leave. I work on myself, hoping they will come back. The problem is by that time I feel recovered and feel good about myself again and when they come back I don't really want them back.
It'd be a lot easier for me right now to know that she'll never contact me again. The uncertainty is almost worse than me always thinking something will change. It's been hell the last month and a half since she dumped me.I miss her SO much.
How did it work out? Just curious after watching this channel
.Update?
My ex is stubborn...she broke up with me because I was standing up to her controlling behaviour...her passive aggresivness and need to dictate the tempo of our relationship, I called her out on,because she actually has a lovely side too...Sometimes blatant honesty with your partner can backfire.
She dumped me 1 week ago,and been doin no contact since.
Didn't chase,beg or text once.
She has to take her controlling behaviour and reign it in.
I couldn't go there again,unless she acknowledged it,and stopped it.
The Irish Romeo any updates?
Update?
First! Is this the best explanation for stubbornness you've ever heard or what!
Coach Craig Kenneth I’m not sure if you remember my skype but my ex LITERALLY SAID in the breakup “once I make up my mind I don’t change my mind.” Then her mom stated “I’ve never seen her change her mind when she has her made up her mind”.....
Coach Craig Kenneth I’m the stubborn one. The one that expects him to do things my way. But I do respect his decision. I do also it’s a bit of both. He does have a tendency to behave that way with others. But I do see that even if he is being stubborn, I need to give the freedom to be able to be himself. That is why I broke up with him. I let him go be free. Good stuff and thank you. I’m saving this one!
Coach Craig Kenneth oh yes!!
Hands down
Coach I learned that people treat stranger better then their loved ones.
My ex is the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life. Every Time we've had fights and I would stop talking to him, I am always the one who ends up breaking no contact and reaching out to him first. He NEVER has been a man and apologized to me or reached out first. Now this time it's been about five months of no contact and I fear that I will never hear from him again. I don't want to be weak like in the past and reach out. I want him to know how serious I am.
Update??
I would argue the point it is abnormal behavior to get to the point where you can no longer communicate. It takes two people to make a relationship work. And you will soon discover you cannot carry the load by yourself no matter how much you care.
I don't believe she will ever contact me again. No matter how committed I am to our relationship.Better to cut the loss and move on.
So what happened ? I see your comment 3 years later. Are you together again or no? Just curious
I have spent over a year trying to find help on a situation with a person from my past, and your videos are the only thing have have helped. Truly these videos are the only thing keeping me going right now in the right path! Thank you so much!
Just as I’m watching your informative video, my stubborn ex called me. I went radio silent for a couple days and he reached out. This is a man that is very hard lined about his decision to break things off and not willing to work through things and compromise. Your teachings work and I have a huge amount of anxiety over this breakup. My fears and my attachment style have gotten the best of me. I’m working hard on changing my behaviors. Hopefully he will see that if he comes back, I will be a better person. Thanks again for all you do! You’re saving my life and well being.
update?
Update
.update?
My ex isn't stubborn, she just doesn't love me anymore.
She doesn't deserve you man ! You're a great person trust me .give it time
G Money I’m sorry 🙏🏽
They are making a huge mistake. These people are immature and childish
💖
My ex is very stubborn but I do feel optimistic that he will want to reconcile. I am giving him his space and giving it some time. This break up has been really tough for me and I’m sure it’s been tough for him as well. Right now I’m working on myself and just moving forward.💖
So good to read your words. I'm 5 weeks into NC and though I dont feel I want to contact my ex, it is still a struggle day by day..
So how did it go with your ex? Has he reached out to you? Do ex's reach out if they believe you cheated or lied? (Even if you didn't ) but had a back up plan with another man for a few months. ?...😔
Update??
update?
I love this format. I just got schooled by the two of you. It’s extremely beneficial to learn about generalities rather than only specifics regarding one particular (email) situation. Specifics are great, but this format is an excellent way to delve into educational topics applicable overall. 😊
The thing Margaret was saying about child not eating food and their parents’ reaction really hit home for me. I realised a couple of years ago how badly my mum raised me and even now at 30 years old I’m struggling in relationships because of my upbringing. But with regards to the food eating, I was a picky eater, and my mum would force me to eat foods I didn’t like, which only made my intolerance of eating increase. But not only that, she would severely reprimand me for not eating my meals, and sometimes they would get tipped on my head. Another time I didn’t like my cereal so she made me sit there until it was gone. It got soggy and she force-fed me it. I developed a terrible eating habit for years because of my mum’s treatment of me. When she could’ve just said “okay Kory, I’ll make you something you actually like”, or “okay, if you don’t want to eat, you’ll go to bed hungry.” And let me go. But instead she imprisoned me at the dinner table until I was either in tears or covered in my meal. It still haunts me today.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that.
She’s very narcissistic. I even tried to talk to her about a serious issue recently and she ended up crying for days and playing the victim. I also told her my childhood wasn’t great and I want to build a better relationship with her. Same again. She even said “I saw nothing wrong with your childhood?”. She’s absolutely clueless. I’ve just had to detach from her.
@@SuperMisterKory You did the right thing mate. The right person for you will accept you no matter what. If anything, that right person will be equally sympathetic and will do what is possible to ensure scenarios like the moments of abuse you experienced in the past will never happen again.
You’re right, if someone has too much stubborn attitude it’s before to be alone.
MARGARET IS DROPPING GEMS
totally! "You have to be more interested in listening, than in what you are going to say to them." i may have to get that tattooed on my arm.
I feel personally attacked by that anger stuff. Wow, first time I've ever had an eye-opening moment in one of these videos.
Three months and 2 weeks of no contact. Still sleeping less crying and down. Long distance relationship of three years was cut short by a rejection on texts because of many reasons especially his depression during such a difficult time. It's hard to see from his perspective and I keep hurting. I want him back n hope for him to be better on his own while I try n work on myself. It's upsetting every single day
Update please?
24:12 on point for the avoidant who feels trapped as the anxious becomes more forceful.
The avoidantly attached resembles stubborn to me!!! Closed off and hard to reach.
What if my ex isnt stubborn, but feels too guilty or is too afraid of rejection to reach out?
I would say after a few months it really doesn't hurt to reach out to them but do not keep trying. try a time or to but no more. if they're not interested they're either still not ready or just dont want it back
I’m not sure if he feels STUBBORN but I am certain he feels GUILTY and SHAMEFUL for doing the dumping. I wonder how long it will hold him back from contacting me.
Update?
Doing no contact, even if she wanted to reach out to me eventually, she would be to nervous to talk to me first cuz she would probably think I was mad at her/over her cuz of the no contact. I know this because she told me before she overthinks/cares a lot what people think about her.
I found so many of your videos that see right through my decisions and people's decisions. I used to pride myself on how self-reflecting i am and how insightful i am about human psychology, but i realized i wasn't THAT good. I am good, but not THAT good. Thank you.
My ex gf (she just broke up with me yesterday) ended it with her ex before me and did no contact for TWO YEARS because she didn't wanna "give him the satisfaction" that she cared too much about him and give him all the power. When she came back after two years, she thought it was gonna be this huge moment where she came back and he was gonna be crying that she's finaly back in his life and he's gonna jump at the opportunity to have him back, but when she called him he was like "ok" and kept everything casual lol. He clearly did not care one bit, and she still loved him even after those two years. Those entire two years in her mind was about him, he never left her mind...and little did she know that he had moved on a while ago.
But yeah that's why I'm nervous that she might do that to me if I try doing no contact with her. She wants to "win" instead of being seen as the desperate one.
Nick P why would you want someone like that??
Love all your advice and the light heartedness sometimes. It is a relief and makes my hard times easier.
Maybe my ex might be scared of anger. She has a really hard time saying no to her boss or her friends, but on the other hand she does sometimes get angry at people and vent to me about it. Some people she never says no to, but other (like me) she wasn't even remotely scared of saying no to as she knew I wouldn't get upset with her about it
You two are the best duo since Batman & Robin
I am in no contact but can't see my ex coming around.
did they ever come around?
Yeah, what happened? Did they contact you?
TheMadMattster No
Rocky Waters No it’s been 18 mths
@@sanlaw584 I'm sorry. Do you feel stronger now? Have you met someone better?
God I love you guys. I don't know what I would have done without you're guidance. Thank you!
But why do they always show up the moment you give up and start not to care about them?! I went NC then really started to let go of the hope that we'd still be together. Then booom! There he was bombarding me with all his messages of apologies and how he wants me back. Smh
Maybe somehow our subconscious knows that this moment is coming but some people most maybe are reacting with a negative way to that message i have seen that too many times to myself and now i know that feeling its like that voice says no no dont to that etc.
Leon Kennedy well atleast some actually see it and do something about it before it's too late. Thanks for letting us know lol
gla22 i mean i see it in general in other things too like poker of course i would do something in that situation also i have learn from this kind of message
Isn't how it is.. When we give up..
Did you end up working it out?
My ex, at first, told me she wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if she wants to get back together. A couple weeks later, she told me she wouldn’t bother telling me.
What if you're ex is stubborn but it has nothing to do with anger? My ex is not angry at me in any way shape or form. Our breakup wasn't due to a fight or anything like that. He is just stubborn in that he FIRMLY believes that since he has never changed his mind about an ex before, that he will never change his mind about me. Basically, what's done is done. He didn't think we were a good match so we'll never be able to work out, so (in his mind) why even entertain the idea of trying again?
Veronica Freda oh lord. This looks like my situation. I have no idea how to deal with it. I've been in NC for almost 3 weeks now, and I know deep down that no matter how long I don't talk to him, he will not text me or call me. The guy I was with had a hard time texting his friends and family, he wasn't really into technology, so the fact that they want him to initiate contact with me seems like I'll be waiting forever. Lol.
Samantha Joly did he contact you? any update?
Veronica Freda I’m in the same boat
Same boat for me.x
wow this is my situation. I'm the best relationship shes ever had but she told me when we were getting to know each other that she never takes exes back at all so I feel the same that I'll ever hear from her again
Margaret really rocked it with the those in depths explanations...I love this smart lady!...oh, and Coach Craig too of course...!
I really struggle to become angry with someone because I'm afraid of my own anger and how it can make others feel. As a child I was put down whenever I was anyway angry. Now I struggle to use my anger in positives way, except for sport
I think my ex is way too stubborn and when he makes a decision he sticks to it so I doubt that even if he wants to get back together he won't say anything
My wife is the same .
So frustrating
.update?
@@truecrimetales2200 nope! I'm very sad about it but I'm trying to move on the best I can
@@truecrimetales2200 well the funny thing is we still work together so he didn't really need to reach out to me 😅 it's been about a year and 2 months since he broke up with me and he has not mentioned once about us getting back together and I never wanted to bother him about it either
@@truecrimetales2200 thank you. And the best of luck to you as well in life!
I wish that I knew this 20 years ago.
This makes total sense.
My behaviour in the past has been my own enemy. But I won't stop working, because its better for everyone if I can be the best version of myself that I can be.
Coach Craig, what if when your ex broke up with you, he immediately asked to take it back because he realized it was a mistake.. But then you ask for space after he spends hours trying to change your mind.. and he agrees to give you time. Should you still wait for him to reach out during no contact then, or is that your responsibility now?
Ive never seen anyone with a big ego as my gf. I refuse to call her ex because we will work it out. And live a happy life.
BVB BVB Any updates?
@@UpUpDnDnLtRtLtRtBAStart Still in No contact. although i still love her, i have healed slightly and became stronger man.
@@afrobian1 any update man. It’s been a year
@@stogie0608 we reconnected last year in June, it was great we travelled together etc... then in Sep neither of us could compromise about moving to our cities ( she used live here but moved so far away to be close to her family) so we split amicably. we didnt talk since Sep until last week she sent me a text. and i replied... we ve been cool since texting almost everyday. my guess is she is planning to come back? but i dont wanna start that conversation. so we will see what happens. :)
@@afrobian1 that’s awesome man. Glad to hear. It gives me hope.
YES! My ex gf is just like that! She'd rather be alone, stick with her decision and feel wanting a boyfriend rather than admit she misses me and try to work things out. She even told me before that her beautiful sister "is also without a bf because she has just as bad a character as me". She would rather wallow in her grief rather than come before me and initiate the conversation to say sorry. If she never comes back i hope she REGRETS HER DECISION FULLY months and years later. My fucking idiot little girl oh why did you do it.
I understand how you feel but most people move on. Oh we would love to believe those.who hurt us spend their lives grieving for us but truth is they get over us in time as we get over them.
@Archiveman she did but she doesnt regret it she keeps blaming me. What a fucking idiot she is.
I'm going through a breakup also, wishing he'd burn up my phone just so I can ignore him. I like these videos also, but the bottom line is if we have to give it this much brain power and strategizing, the ex us simply not the right person for us. Still heart crushing tho.
great video, glad to have come across your channel. its been a major help. thank you
My ex is one of those absolutely terrified people of people being mad and stuff. I really don’t see her reaching out due to that. Particularly when I didn’t react to the breakup particularly well (dumped via text). I really do wish I sent the clean slate message back when it happened. Think it may be too late at this point to not be seen as manipulative but I truly, genuinely feel terrible about it. And it truly was completely out of character for me. Hopefully at some point she realizes that she had never seen that before in the 12 years we knew each other and year of dating and that it’s not typical of me but her fears rule her life and I don’t see that happening. That’s something I’m going to have to own going forward. I still don’t think it was terrible compared to how a lot of other people would have handled it but still. She’s incredibly sensitive.
Did she reach out?
@@rwentfordable I ended up hearing from her about 2 years later. Told her I wasn’t interested in reconnecting in any meaningful way and sent her on her way. Once you do the work on yourself you’ll level up past them. Most of me doesn’t remember what I saw in her now
Excellent! In relationships, if you are not on the same page, it will not work out. Just listen to your gut/intuition.
Wow! So much wisdom in this video. I've watched a bunch of your videos, but this one really hits home on so many levels. Thank you for looking so deep into these issues ❤
I so strongly disagree I missed the loving daylight out of my ex but stay stubborned enough that I never reached out. Yes I drafted 1,000 text and emails but never sent it
Unxpekted well I tried to fix things with my ex last night. He’s very stubborn, said that he gets it that I’m not happy with him🙄omg! Wasn’t about not being happy with him it was about him not showing interest in me. I just back off, dislike him on Instagram, no point of having an ex liking all my posts on my Instagram. He can get what he deserves, be alone for the rest of his life.
Unxpekted. So basically you didnt want the relationship back.
When I was seeing my ex, she would say to me that she missed a guy she was seeing previously who she'd blocked etc.(also a mate of mine) because they used to be good friends so I recommend unblocking him and reaching out and she said it would be too awkward. She said she wished she could just bump into him somewhere instead... Well it's over a year of no contact myself with this woman and she never did reach back out to my friend, so given that piece of insight I really do believe that even if she missed me a lot and wanted me back in her life she couldn't bring herself to contact me because of the conflict. She is extremely avoidant. I do think it's possible.
Wow I'm so sorry to hear this. My ex it's just as proud. She would say when we used to brake up and get back together that she would miss me so much and wanted many times to call but she was afraid of rejection and that I wouldn't accept her but I made sure I told her I would be actually waiting. It's been almost a month since she left me for good and I don't even get a feeling she would contact me bc we had lack of trust and it was a ldr which hurts to know but I truly wish she would contact me some how.
.update?
@@cizko84 update?
A different coach did research on people who get back together. Something like 60 percent of the people got back together because the dumped person reached out at some point. I've also encountered people who were feeling a certain way who didn't want to reach out but wanted contacted.
From Gottman himself... a lot of theory in social science are guesses and not based off evidence gathered from successes.
So even if they were the one to never listen to me whenever i spoke about anything break up with me, i still have to tolerate not being heard at all and just listen to what they want, forsaking what i want or need??
I contacted my ex once and i felt like a complete loser. The desperation isn't for me
So, you need to leave anyway. And either they come back for fear you leaving, or you move on with past left behind. Treat every getting back together as breakup.
Do you think it's most of us anxious/depressed types that try to mend things rather than everyday normal people that just let go and move on?
different people. some fix the problem and get back better then ever (which is the best way imo) some exchange the prob with another and another ... repair guys;)
Hey coach Craig Kenneth, love your videos they've stopped me from doing some pretty stupid things to try and get my ex back. I was wondering if you could make a video on "how to keep a girl chasing you while in a relationship"
Yep that’s me. I was no contact before no contact was cool 😂. I’ll die before I give in if it wasn’t my fault. I admit my mistakes so if I did something I quickly admit and correct it. But if I was done wrong…and they won’t admit it….it will snow 6 feet in hell before I reach out. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong and I expect to get the same in return.
I miss the dogs is a legit excuse 😂
I met a wonderful guy 2 months ago. We became very close, very fast. We dated very lovingly. We didn’t have sex yet. One night we met for dinner, in my opinion, the whole night was just off. I was preoccupied with other thoughts and he was a little distant. I felt like he was “too friendly” with other ladies at the bar. I walked out and left him at the restaurant. Now, he need time to “think” about the relationship. He’s not contacting. Driving me insane. Help!
I'm 9999999.999% sure my ex is too stubborn to reach out despite using his own son to ask me a favor yet still no reply or thanks. Then ASSUMING Christmas gift box was for both (with only son's name). Only good thing is there are tons of reminders of me in their apartment. His brother, one of his sisters and a mutual friend unfriended me after breakup, yet son and another sister didn't want to cut ties.
But it really seems like my ex is stubborn!! She don’t want to let go of the idea that’s shes “the prize” and I’m not 😒
Haha.. Craig, i was pretty stubborn when i was a kid... i didnt want to eat food my sister cooked because i just didnt believe she could cook good food. I told my family id rather eat dirt... they yelled at me to me to go get a cup and eat it... so i did... showed them my cup of dirt and ate it in front of them and told them it was good. Lmao...
Really if they didnt fight me and left me alone... eventual i probably would have eaten it.
Hi Coach Craig, my ex is very stubborn, he ended things and I was not expecting it, he has lied to me in the past and I told him I do not trust him 100% and wanted to work things out and asked him to help me gain the trust back, we had planned counseling sessions and a summer visit as we are long distance also we had plans that were up to 6 months from now as we saw each other one a month. He just picked on the trust issues and end it as I was asking him for more attention and he said he can't give it to me and was bothered by my lack of trust in him. He said he cared and will miss me and asked me to be friends, we have been together 2.5 years and I said no friends as I listen to your teachings and applied the NC rule. He said he respected my wish to not be friends and that was that...........what are my chances to him coming back ? I am experiencing lot of separation anxiety it's been 3 weeks...I am still in shock and can't believe he just ended it .
I am sorry for my previous comment. Now i know EXACTLY why she became stubborn. Just as u said i was anxious and wanted her to follow my side and she was afraid to lose her freedom. I also learned that i have fear of anger because of childhood troubles. I am happier now that i am learning more about myself because of this channel and coach Lee.
But what did it cost?
Everything.
Pride comes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall...
Proverbs 16:18
You guys are amazing! Thank you for such insightful information! Keep up the good work
Why does an ex reach out to talk at night before sleeping and you miss the call? Is that a good thing for me??
When an ex reaches out you're not supposed to attend the call right that minute. Its like her texting at 10:34 and you replying at 10:35. That shows youre desperate. Its better that you didnt answer the call. Texting back in the morning saying you had a long day and couldnt answer would be the best option. Its good that you missed it :)
Kevin Barlett They reach out that late because that is the moment you were on their mind and the anxiety built up enough for them to reach out.
Ok well if we have a strong need to be with others, we can just choose a new partner, who's to say that the ex will choose to come back? There are unlimited new options out there.
It is , but it also depends on each person. I personally am NOT a person who looks for someone new, and i actually NEVER have options. If im really interested im mainly only interested in YOU (ONE person) , i do not see anyone else. And not even on purpose ,i just noticed over many years that im just not that kind of a person. Im a 30 year old (woman) , really only dated 3 times in my live, between of each of those men i had 2-3 years breaks , with that i mean i had zero interests in anyone for a longer time. (with ''really only dated 3 times'' i meant ,those 3 were the people i dated for the longest time, anything else was kindergarden to me since it was only 1-2 weeks and i was between 15-20 years old). I do not tend to fall in love often its super rare, so if i do i tend to just stick with that one person , i never look for other options at that time (and also never did after it ended, like i said ..takes me at least 2 years for me to be ready to look for someone new).
I hate my parents. Abusive, control freaks, and they always want problems.
Cause of that I only stay in my room when im home and if I’m out I won’t go home unless I know they’re sleeping...
This is the worst part ab my breakup situation.
My parents always have had my anxiety at an all time high recently and it’s not getting better.
It’s been terrible for years and it’s like I’m still not used to it. I wish it could b over w em
Hugs
Probably is a cancer .. They like to ghost and have a hard time admitting to their wrongs .... He did NOT upgrade ...lol ..I tried to talk with him ..he had no remorse ! None ! Oh well ..I took time to heal and am blessed 100 fold with a better man .
People, I had the most stubborn ex. If you think it's your ex you're wrong. It' mine :D. Believe me. Never ever possible that HE would contact me no matter what I did. Guys who wrote me on insta after I blocked and deleted him on WhatsApp. Don't do that just like that. I only did because he ghosted me after I went to his city. Now he's commenting on my insta stories and stuff. He's also got a serious relationship now so don't know what him reaching out is worth. But it's still sooooo pleasing to know he doesn't't know himself to be in the better position. And he's a handsome and decent guy that doesn't seem as a douchebag to anyone on the outside. So just to sum up people. If that guy "came back", there is a chance for you too, if you do no contact.
she left me after being back in town for only 2 weeks. I met her twice for dates that went great and then she went back to brazil to see her family for 3 months and the whole time she was there she called me every day and facetimed me multiple times a day and sent me hundreds of pictures and videos told and showed her whole family me. when she got back we went out a lot I took her on a trip that went awesome and then a week later she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship. I heard from her mom a few weeks after the breakup that she told her mom I didn't act like the same person as when I was in Brazil but I don't even know what that means because I was the same. she told me things she's never told anyone before and really pulled me in and then just left me. I was taking it slow and she was too but before the breakup she started telling me all of these serious things about us and me and now I'm left hurt because of how good she treated me and how she was always telling me shes there for me and actually being there for me. her mom said something that she thought that I was trying to get too close to her which my ex told me she doesn't do which I understood but how was I was supposed to know because a lot of the things she said to me she ended up doing it the opposite. I mean she wanted to see me every day pretty much and constantly telling me how much she liked me and how beautiful my eyes were and stuff like that. I just wanted to get close to her too like she was me
Thanks for all the work and knowledge. I feel like little by little my soul is coming back to me. Not my ex. my soul
My husband is stubborn. He left me six month ago after 28 years of marriage. I am devastated and want him back. I told him I will give him space and time, after a lot of begging, but he says he can't and gas moved on. I will NOT accept this. I asked if he still loves me than he hesitate for a second and said Yes. Another time I Said I want him to come home and he said in a low voice, you may not want me back meaning later. This won't happen as far as I'm concerned. Please advise option.
I liked this video, makes you think, (after all the weeks, months and maybe years) if your ex IS really stubborn about reaching out. However, you still have doubts about it.
You are correct they would reach out they don't because they don't want you at that time not because they are being stubben
True: I have learnt if someone really wants to be with you they will do whatever it takes to make it happen vice versa.
Does this mean that going no contact is equivalent to being stubborn ?...since it’s being done to get results WE want. Example, my ex blocked me on certain platforms of social media and through phone because I went into NC. Can that mean they want YOU to chase THEM?
.update?
I'm sure mine is very stubborn. It's not just the break up I feel he's stubborn about either. It's many other things, he'll even act childish n throw tantrums if he thinks he'll win. Also after the first break up he said it was also pride n insecurity..... N I didn't even pester him into coming back I know he's suffering because he's exploded at me multiple times when I left him alone......n I was still living in the house when we broke up up until I moved... Hes not just stubborn he's impulsive n self destructive... I can only PRAY he's stays the hell away but I can't even have that cause he keeps sending his damn friends to Snoop on my life
Love Margaret :)
She's amazing
I haven't had a coaching from you but I have watched every video and I cannot put into words how grateful I am for the effort you put into the videos I have learnt so much about myself and other people and have put my head in the right place as regards getting over my childhood and returning to competitive sport after a 15 year absence and a battle to overcome obesity to do so. I remember your video where you thought Margaret wouldn't make it and smile every time I see a video with her in as all our prayers got answered. Keep up the good work in changing people's lives people you will never know or meet, one view at a time. You are both the guidance I never had.
so are You Craig, amazing, YES . thank you both
What if your ex really is stubborn. Like it runs in the family. For example her relatives are all known for cutting people out of their lives on a whim, including other relatives. Even cutting out the family members she lives with for months at a time. Like not engaging with her mother for almost a month because she felt 'disrespected' and to teach her a lesson. I'm not joking. And my ex also manages to cut out her best friends for months, sometimes even years at a time. Other than that she's a lovely woman ...
I was dating a man like this. He cuts off people as soon as they displeased him. Did it to me so why would I even want him back? I did care deeply and Im very hurt. But he tossed me away like the trash.
Yes this is what my ex is like.Just cuts ppl off.xx
my ex bf of a year plus and i were in international relationship and we met 4 times, a mth or 2 each. We always argued, i became insecure and needy and after our last travel in jan 2018, he decided our rls wasnt sustainable and he wasnt happy anymore and wanted to break up. I still miss him but we didnt talk since apr 2018. He never reach out and ive deactivated my social media in march 2019 and i only left him on tinder so that i could see our distance. But he just deleted me off tinder last week, we met there during his trip to my country. What is that mean? Are we done forever? :(
Some women are stubborn to reach out when they are even the dumpers, because they think that "a man has always to initiate"
Men can be this way too it is NOT gender specific..
I think in the situation with no contact, a stubborn woman would try some back door approach or reason to contact you.
1 year and 10 months and she finds a boyfriend at the beggining of this year and i didin't know, she didn't let me see on her socials. She was really hard to talk with
I wish I had the cash, but I won't for a long while, it is too expensive. I have a very unique situation which isn't covered in any video.
I just had a breakup i try to stop her still she left me alone i try my best
And yeah she has a bad attitude and very pride of herself she never apologize never and i dont think so shes coming back
One of the best video! Congrats to Craig and Margaret!
Described my ex exactly. Will continue no contact. Thank u!
She left me, i did not reach out and i will not. I know it is over and try to move on but one part of my hearth is still hoping that she will come back to me. I hate this hope.
Update?
He's very stubborn,and a narcissist too,and worst if all he picked someone over me,he said I have love for you but I'd rather be friends,I'm crushed!! I don't think he'll ever come back,plus he's used to me always looking for him
Is this something that could be improved with therapy if partner does extreme stubbornness, shutting off, ghosting til they feel, leaving and disappearing as a means of control to win (even when there really isn’t a fight?) - They always come back when they feel like and all I’ve done at this point is just walk away and begin no contact which I may honestly never undo. | is it possible some people truly just become stubborn to win and even won’t contact just to stand in the mud longer to show they can be tougher & bigger and badder and more unscathed than you? I’ve never experienced this in 35 years and if therapy could help this I would consider it, because I didn’t think anything could change him. He was hit for 20 years by a parent and has no coping mechanisms beyond defensiveness and not showing anyone “break” you.
You made me look at it all different. Good stuff
I love you as my elder brother Coach. Thank you for all informations.
Coaching sessions?!?! How about talking about it much more in the daily vidoes?!!! lol Talking about "calming ourselves down". I'm at about a -8 with that task.... EEK! Love you guys! All 3 of you are amazing in your own ways, as well as some of the same. 😘
Avoidant attachment attracts anxiety
My ex is stubborn. She refuses to believe she did anything wrong, blamed me for everything and decisions she made. She once didn’t talk to her own grandma for 5 months who she was super close to because her grandma hurt her feelings. I have no chance of getting her back
Did she reach out to you?
Greeeaaat stuff Margaret!
What if he isn't stubborn, but rather beating himself up for having hurt you? What if he doesn't reach out because of how badly he feels he's hurt you during the breakup, and figures that it is better to stay away? What if he prefers to stay away even though he misses me terribly because it is easier for him to believe that I will find someone better who loves me the way I deserve?
It's a strange thing, but my ex was a lot into self-imposed shutting down. I wouldn't be surprised if he would stay away thinking he's a piece of shit for having hurt me, not even once thinking that him staying away might hurt me too.
Wow, wish I found this before I texted her-
LOVE this woman Margret! ♥
My bf broke up with me and I agree with the decision, later the next day he called me a lot of times in his two accounts but I did not respond, i did not answer his calls..
I'm 8n a situation where my Ex was and probably still is a Narcissist. When we split up we had attitude and I said nasty things to each other. Now I'm being civil and polite he's not responding to me. As much as it hurts and confuses me I'm just about giving up. I'm so confused i don't know what to do. 🍒
My ex hasn’t really reached out they forward me a email for my work with no message just forwarded it then they liked a couple of post of one of my girlfriend fb who she doesn’t know or met or contacted on this girls company fb which to me is she knows it will obviously get back to me is she reaching out or should I continue with no contact add to this she is seeing some one else for past 5 months what do I do nothing and wait for more direct approach to me