How to Break the Habit of Being "YOU"

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  • Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
  • Pre-order my new book HOW TO DO THE WORK: www.amazon.com/How-Do-Work-Re...
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Комментарии • 224

  • @TheHolisticPsychologist
    @TheHolisticPsychologist  4 года назад +111

    #selfhealers, here are some ways to get out the habit self to begin consciously creating who you are. Let me know if this is helpful in the comments. -Nicole

    • @KingPolly
      @KingPolly 4 года назад +4

      The Holistic Psychologist as always, I am so grateful!

    • @guidedbysunshine333
      @guidedbysunshine333 4 года назад +3

      Amazing videos Id love to hear more on a regular podcast

    • @colegregg8245
      @colegregg8245 4 года назад

      I don't understand why you would tell someone to not be who they are. It's okay, I've realized this channel simply isn't for me anymore.

    • @Rose-hu3jv
      @Rose-hu3jv 4 года назад +2

      Is so helpfull, thank you so much Im really struggling cause Im like why do I go back I want to chance why is it so hard.

    • @gentlebutch
      @gentlebutch 4 года назад +3

      I needed this video so bad today thank you for sharing. Your inner child meditation is my nightly routine now. It's helped a lot with PTSD nightmares.

  • @deelot1
    @deelot1 4 года назад +159

    “Each moment affords another opportunity” - thank you I needed to hear that today.

  • @DEEPCYCLEGARAGE
    @DEEPCYCLEGARAGE 4 года назад +6

    21 days of moments not drinking. I am celebrating being a more pleasant father, husband, person to be around.

    • @Kevin-sy3jt
      @Kevin-sy3jt 3 года назад

      Congratulations on those 21 days. I hope after all this time you've been doing better and better!

  • @juliab.8779
    @juliab.8779 4 года назад +31

    One of my favourite mantras is "I choose" because I feel so empowered by it.

  • @5sssssssssssssssssss
    @5sssssssssssssssssss 4 года назад +147

    Hello Dr. Nichole I tried your journal for 30 days and did not miss a single day, my aim that time was to say No to people without feeling shame guilt or fear, and to set boundaries and maintain them.
    Long story short your journal forum transformed my life, I back then would not imagine in my life that I would be able to say No so easily. However your journal made that possible to me.
    Thank you so so so much

    • @tanyabarbie895
      @tanyabarbie895 4 года назад +2

      salma omg that’s amazing!!!

    • @summaiyarobi4915
      @summaiyarobi4915 4 года назад +3

      Well-done ❣️❣️

    • @lufthanza101
      @lufthanza101 4 года назад

      Hello, would u be able to Share the video with me?

    • @redmikask
      @redmikask 4 года назад +2

      Hello Salma. Since you have a great experience, can I ask you for help? I want to start the journal, but I am not sure if I should answer the same questions for one pattern for 30days?

    • @thefitrookiedad
      @thefitrookiedad 3 года назад

      That's so encouraging to hear!
      Can I ask you that, did you keep just 1 Intent/promise to yourself everyday for 30 days, or did you set different intentions for each day?

  • @mahaabdelkhalek2552
    @mahaabdelkhalek2552 4 года назад +50

    I was so lost when I first started following you and hearing about future self journaling, I didn't know what I should change actually, but I listened to your advice about observing myself and found few patterns came up, they were surprising to me.
    I realized that I'm not as self confident as I think I am, having been overshadowed, bullied any body shamed my whole life still affect me even when I say that it doesn't. I noticed that I shrink in too many situations thinking that I'm so much less than what I really am, and I go back to that bullied little girl again.
    and that's my aim to change now.
    Thank you a lot for your work!

    • @summaiyarobi4915
      @summaiyarobi4915 4 года назад +1

      Same !! I constantly put myself down and compare myself to other skinnier females but in my head in like oh I'm confident lol

  • @ketsial5669
    @ketsial5669 4 года назад +10

    Being on this journey can almost feel like fun once you accept it and realize you’re not alone on it! ✨

  • @brightclouds98
    @brightclouds98 Год назад +3

    This mental resistance reminds me a lot about fitness. You have to get over the burning uncomfortable sensation of working out physically from living a sedentary lifestyle but after a while you get used to it.

  • @isabelsaavedra7947
    @isabelsaavedra7947 3 года назад +5

    I found that I struggle to celebrate victories because as a child I was not encouraged. My caretaker was emotionally absent most of the time so I developed a way to live also disconnected. Now, as a 30 old woman, I am recovering my inner life and recreating the stories of my past from a more compassionate perspective. I definitely want to be there for me, and support me in each step of the process.

  • @EE-bg1de
    @EE-bg1de 4 года назад +40

    Appreciate this video: I carry around alot of emotional baggage every single day. From being exposed to my Dad's porn at an early age, to being made fun of for being fat, and subsquently struggling with addiction for 20 years.....I appreciate video's like this. I'm extremely self aware which leads to being self absorbed.....it's a domino affect. I need to take life one moment at a time, small promises at a time, and just focus on getting through the day. 1 day at a time, appreciate your video.

    • @miriru93
      @miriru93 3 года назад +3

      The fact that I never thought about "being exposed to porn as a child" as part of the problem

    • @nidhulek
      @nidhulek 3 года назад

      Self absorbed leads to see aware and vice versa- insightful.

    • @sometime.somewhere
      @sometime.somewhere 3 года назад

      @@miriru93 yes i honestly am the same, can someone walk me through how that could manifest as problematic? Are we talking about material your parent was in or their collection...

  • @SophiliaLarkWoodbury
    @SophiliaLarkWoodbury 4 года назад +47

    I loved this lesson. "A conditioned self that acts from the past." I understand this very visually based on my recovery from complex trauma. Painful past learning was always intruding into my present causing me to perceive threat where there was no threat. It was only after I learned how to widen that space between stimulus and response (via relaxation, grounding, self-regulation in the face of a perceived threat) that I was able to leave the habit self and experience growth and freedom.

    • @hcr32slider
      @hcr32slider 3 года назад +1

      Have a look into Jordan Peterson too. He sends a similar message but in a more straight forward way. A little less precious lol

  • @supro2989
    @supro2989 2 года назад +2

    More power to everyone who is healing

  • @FleurMarigold
    @FleurMarigold 4 года назад +22

    you always seem to have exactly the video I need

  • @haliec4713
    @haliec4713 3 года назад +6

    Strive to be a little better than you were yesterday. I read this somewhere and it links in with what you are saying here about habits. Doing one thing daily and choosing to be a better version of ones self, striving to be a little better than yesterday in small easy achievable goals.

  • @Paracheckyam
    @Paracheckyam 4 года назад +3

    I love that your videos are short but very clear !

  • @Abundance26
    @Abundance26 4 года назад +19

    Saw the title in my notification earlier and thought of self preservation. A teacher told me cpl yrs ago that while I developed certain behaviors because I had to defend myself, I no longer need to defend myself so I can drop those behaviors. It never left my mind.
    I was just reading a book from Iyanla and there's a passage that I believe goes perfectly with what you're speaking abt here...
    "Our defense is based on the fact that if we let go of what we think we know about ourselves, we won't have anything else to rely on.
    The prospect of losing ourselves, even momentarily, can be pretty frightening. But that's what we have to do: we have to lose false self to find true self.'

    • @TaraWagner
      @TaraWagner 4 года назад +2

      Abundance26 powerful 🙏🏻

    • @Abundance26
      @Abundance26 4 года назад

      @@TaraWagner thanks 😊

  • @pennysbrilliantlife4952
    @pennysbrilliantlife4952 3 года назад +2

    I needed this. I just said to myself I am tired of being me.

  • @thrivinglittles
    @thrivinglittles 4 года назад +23

    “Celebrate yourself”, bringing the joy, oh the process (and reward) in this in my experience. 💫 moment to moment it is!

  • @miyeko79
    @miyeko79 3 года назад +1

    This is exactly what I need! I have horrible discipline and am all over the place most of my day. Im going to do belly breathing every day. You rock Nicole!!!!!

  • @ayoungethan
    @ayoungethan 4 года назад +7

    My therapist recommended I check you out. Glad I did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what you do. Also, mad props to my therapist :)

  • @vickicsurbs444
    @vickicsurbs444 4 года назад +11

    I used to be very disciplined, but in 2018 & 2019 I had alot of surgeries and got exhausted & drained. I guess I gave up. I needed to hear this🙌
    Thank you for this video.

    • @TaraWagner
      @TaraWagner 4 года назад +1

      Vicki C's UR BS so sorry you went thru this. If I can make a recommendation, find a good “functional medicine doctor”. Sometimes the trauma of surgery throws the body and emotions out of balance. FMPs are so good at getting to the root. Good luck to you. ❤️

    • @susanreed666
      @susanreed666 3 года назад

      Vicki C. I am facing just such a 2020 -- 2021. So glad you are in recovery, and that this lesson helps!

  • @kcoker9189
    @kcoker9189 3 года назад +1

    This is going to be difficult I already know... But your videos have been the light at the end of the tunnel for me and I so appreciate them. I look forward to progressing and getting to know my authentic self. Thank you very much!!

  • @priancavail6520
    @priancavail6520 3 года назад +1

    Thank you doctor...reframing our stories and looking at TRUTH in the PRESENT MOMENT, not from past projection is really important, at least for my healing journey!!

  • @teresaluker1728
    @teresaluker1728 4 года назад +1

    "each moment does afford you another opportunity" thank you!

  • @emersonchang2357
    @emersonchang2357 4 года назад +5

    This is absolutely wonderful, Dr. Nicole! I needed it. Sometimes the habit self has a voice way louder than the conscious self, and it is hard to fight that desire for the familiar and comfortable, even though I know the habits are not serving me. So thank you so much for your clear articulation.

  • @Todayoneday
    @Todayoneday 4 года назад +1

    Very needed to hear that ! Thank you for the share and your work ! I’ll start tomorrow to keep a promise ! Lot of love from France ❤️

  • @ernestoparisii
    @ernestoparisii 4 года назад +4

    This is the key, very well explained as usual. Can get through to you anymore, you are a superstar. I love it!!! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @brendalynquiah9893
    @brendalynquiah9893 4 года назад

    Love this. Wish you would make longer videos. Your work has been so helpful to me and my healing journey ❤️

  • @danijohnnie
    @danijohnnie 4 года назад +1

    Great Job!!! Definitely needed this!

  • @gcchica004
    @gcchica004 4 года назад +4

    Recently found your channel, and it aligns so well with where I'm at on my spiritual journey of healing. Just started my future self journaling this morning and really identify with this video. Thanks for all you do!

  • @tomasanonymous
    @tomasanonymous 4 года назад +1

    Thank you so much Nicole. Your Future Self Journal prompts have been so helpful, as well as all your social media posts. Very grateful for your work 💖

  • @mariaelena3016
    @mariaelena3016 4 года назад +1

    Healing myself with your content. Thanks Dr.Nicole!

  • @Carroty_Peg
    @Carroty_Peg 4 года назад +1

    Thank you for this! I do your journal every day. I still am not good at asserting boundaries and go back into fight or flight. This gives me faith that bit by bit, it's possible to change xxx

  • @bethanysaxton7351
    @bethanysaxton7351 4 года назад +6

    God Bless you, Dr. Nicole. I am so grateful for you; you’ll never know what an impact you’ve had in my healing journey. I cannot thank you enough.

  • @mariateresaemotionalmusings
    @mariateresaemotionalmusings 4 года назад +1

    I watched you here and then I rewatched it so I could make notes from the video. What you suggest is so simple, not easy but definitely doable. Btw...love the texts that you send out!! They seem to arrive F the best times, snapping me back into consciousness and the present moment. By following you on all these platforms I keep myself fully accountable. So grateful to have discovered you❤

  • @mmohseni69
    @mmohseni69 Год назад +1

    Thank you so much for being so giving want to make the world a better place for the collective ❤️☀️🙏 I wish you an amazing day🦋

  • @HIPHOPDANCE1000
    @HIPHOPDANCE1000 4 года назад +5

    Your videos are so motivational. I feel so hopeful and calm when I watch them. Thank you for giving us such tools to work with ourselves. You are a 💎

  • @halfaber7776
    @halfaber7776 3 года назад

    So rich in content I look forward to listening to this again and again... More for the undisciplined passionate side of me

  • @kellybethmcmahon9761
    @kellybethmcmahon9761 3 года назад +1

    Thank you for these videos! They came to me at the perfect time!!

  • @EllenWheeler
    @EllenWheeler 4 года назад +3

    You are amazing! Your work has influenced my life so much. Your videos are so relatable and authentic. Thank you so much!!

  • @mybrainisuseful
    @mybrainisuseful 4 года назад +3

    Thank you so much for this, so timely in my life with actual practical steps, thank you thank you 🤍🤍🤍

  • @celiayancey269
    @celiayancey269 4 года назад +1

    I appreciate your videos, Dr. Nicole. I have been doing the future self journal for almost one year now and am amazed at the changes I have been able to make in my life. I am getting better at setting boundaries and observing myself when I resist keeping promises to myself. I feel lighter than I have ever felt in my life. Thank you for your important work.

  • @KNRK379
    @KNRK379 4 года назад +2

    very helpful, concrete video. I like how it's more zoomed in & easy to read what's on your board. Thank you for your videos & all you do 💙💙

  • @babz1235
    @babz1235 4 года назад +1

    Thank you so very much for all your lessons. I’ve learned more from you in a few short videos than I have learned in 6 months of therapy on past childhood trauma and dealing with my inner child issues. Thank you again for your short but powerful therapy sessions.

  • @bootycakes14
    @bootycakes14 3 года назад +1

    I love these 💕 they definitely help me stay on track.

  • @jovani4921
    @jovani4921 4 года назад +1

    I am loving all of your videos! Thank you for sharing this information.

  • @yonguhlig270
    @yonguhlig270 4 года назад +3

    Dr Nicole, this is so helpful. Thank you. Celebrating victories. SO BIG. SO KEY! And each moment affording ANOTHER opportunity. Coming from a perfectionistic background these two points are ones I MUST embrace during this time of major heartache and transition.

  • @khybersanga4413
    @khybersanga4413 3 года назад +1

    Hi Dr.Nichole wonderful door ways to new being, thats what I have been going through and sure my friends has gotten short but I am happy that I am more try to be on Concious side and not on auto mode. Journaling helps a lot as well .. your lectures are so easy to follow and love the old school style that its on paper hand written no slides or graphics! Stay blessed

  • @Brogrl
    @Brogrl 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for posting this video. All steps seem doable and not too scary to start. Thank you friend.

  • @irisw3989
    @irisw3989 4 года назад +1

    Great advice about changing our attitude to failure!!😊😊

  • @kayelavelasquez9009
    @kayelavelasquez9009 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much I really needed this!! ❤️❤️❤️you brought me a sense of peace so for that thank you❤️❤️

  • @owlcatxx
    @owlcatxx 4 года назад +1

    Thank you thank you thank you; you are incredible.

  • @mantraymedicina367
    @mantraymedicina367 2 года назад +1

    Many thanks. I rewatched this today after seeing it a year ago and it is strange how I see or understand more.
    These days I am on an an ego awareness search within myself no shortage of material!
    Your old “basement”studio I see! Those were the days! Your new electronic screen makes reading your notes lots easier. ✅. Go go!

  • @alyssavanmouwerik3854
    @alyssavanmouwerik3854 4 года назад

    Love your videos and your emails so much. Thank you!

  • @38zay
    @38zay 3 года назад +1

    very very helpful thank you, especially recreating the stories around failure!

  • @cwizzy13
    @cwizzy13 2 года назад

    Thank you for this. This is awesome!

  • @liliworth8098
    @liliworth8098 3 года назад +1

    This is excellent, thank you. I had an experience last week and overdid everything... back to the start again. My Fear and terror really overwhelmed my very young new habits. Next moment took me a couple days. Thankyou, Verr helpful. Love Lili ❤️🌞🌻✨🤸‍♀️

  • @quinnm.3127
    @quinnm.3127 4 года назад

    O.O Thanks Nicole, I signed up for the journal prompts!

  • @MidoriMuse
    @MidoriMuse 3 года назад

    I need more on this topic. Maybe examples or scenarios. This is key for me.

  • @carahowell874
    @carahowell874 4 года назад

    I watch this video everyday, thank you very much for posting

  • @mlewis3068
    @mlewis3068 4 года назад +1

    This was so helpful - thanks very much!

  • @yvonne5703
    @yvonne5703 2 месяца назад

    I absolutely love this lady. She has been such the best teacher for me.

  • @user9994_
    @user9994_ 4 года назад +1

    I’ve been waiting for a video on this topic specifically... I’m the type of person who’s willing to improve myself and apply new habits but over time I tend to find myself going back to my old habits which I get frustrated over because I always thought I can never become a better version of myself and that I’ll stay the same way

  • @e.t_kitty2229
    @e.t_kitty2229 4 года назад +1

    I just found your channel today, & I'm so happy I did. Thank you so much. I really needed this guidance more than ever. I really enjoy how u keep it simple & short, that is very helpful for a lot of people to pay attention & more easily grasp the info & wisdom that u are teaching. Immense blessings sweet soul!!! 🙌💜🕊🙏🌞🌹🙂😊🤗🕊💗

  • @thulimsezane182
    @thulimsezane182 3 года назад

    Thank you for this 🤎

  • @KalanYTRock
    @KalanYTRock 4 года назад +17

    Thank you for all your hard work Dr Nicole!

  • @adrianorizzopt
    @adrianorizzopt 4 года назад

    Beautiful video, so basic, so simple. Thanks for making this.

  • @aviuttam9121
    @aviuttam9121 4 года назад +1

    Just excellent!! Thanks!!

  • @unashamedrecoverypodcast
    @unashamedrecoverypodcast 3 года назад

    That’s some great advice! Loved the video

  • @DawnEBloom-kx5kk
    @DawnEBloom-kx5kk 3 года назад

    Freshly helpful, thank you so much for helping us increase wellbeing❣️

  • @isabelvina
    @isabelvina 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for this one.. I am re watching this videos and the celebrate victories is something I always forget.. thank you for remember me 🥰 you are the greatest Nicole hope you are doing well .I consider and acknowledge you a lot

  • @tanvi9456
    @tanvi9456 4 года назад

    I love your channel ❤️ Thank you so much 😇

  • @xomegsxo
    @xomegsxo 3 года назад

    Thank u so much for sharing this content ❤️❤️

  • @nurulsalsabila2754
    @nurulsalsabila2754 4 года назад

    thank you so much!

  • @MusicaErika
    @MusicaErika 3 года назад

    Your videos are so helpful thank you so much 🙏

  • @malteserb1875
    @malteserb1875 3 года назад

    Thankyou so much! Very insightful and lovely presence

  • @graceguerzon8347
    @graceguerzon8347 4 года назад

    Thank you.

  • @angelglowstudios1454
    @angelglowstudios1454 Год назад

    I love this lady

  • @jessicalynn4415
    @jessicalynn4415 3 года назад

    Thank you 💜

  • @barquitohundido
    @barquitohundido 3 года назад

    thank you!

  • @somethintru1
    @somethintru1 4 года назад +1

    Very helpful. Thank you.

  • @margaretek5350
    @margaretek5350 3 года назад

    This is awesome thank you 🙏

  • @PeopleAreHell
    @PeopleAreHell 4 года назад

    You're amazing. I step 4 you all day long.

  • @ailec11
    @ailec11 4 года назад

    Love it !!

  • @snood454
    @snood454 3 года назад

    Amazing, thank you

  • @phylishac
    @phylishac 4 года назад +1

    thank you for doing what you do!

  • @ZaroonSwati
    @ZaroonSwati 4 года назад

    Thanks Dr Nicole for the Video.😀

  • @DjGoGo09
    @DjGoGo09 4 года назад

    Very good. Hope you get paid well for these videos, it's very helpful. Master yourself and you'll be able to do anything

  • @vaishalivaidya7978
    @vaishalivaidya7978 3 года назад +1

    I just love your content. It would be an honor and a privilege to meet you in person someday😊🙏

  • @anusha_d
    @anusha_d 4 года назад

    Very helpful! Thank you 💙

  • @e1b153
    @e1b153 4 года назад

    This was very helpful , I have problems keeping promises to myself, I am going to save this video

  • @flowershop7443
    @flowershop7443 4 года назад

    Love all of your videos and posts!!!

  • @dougarnold7955
    @dougarnold7955 3 года назад

    Oh, this sounds interesting. I'm just getting to it now, I had it on watch later. Thanks.

  • @jurassicpig
    @jurassicpig 3 года назад

    So relatable

  • @kynialikethecountry2036
    @kynialikethecountry2036 4 года назад

    You. Are. Amazing.

  • @nicolettavitulli4724
    @nicolettavitulli4724 4 года назад +4

    Very educational thank you I'm going to try starting tomorrow morning🙏

  • @oscargrajales3460
    @oscargrajales3460 4 года назад +1

    Thanks for your videos. You are good explaining them♥️♥️🌹🌹🌷🌸♥️♥️

  • @est6464
    @est6464 4 года назад +6

    Just fine listening to Dr. Joe Dispenza Gaia talks on this!
    I like how easy you break it down.

  • @adridrope
    @adridrope 3 года назад

    very helpful! thank you

  • @doralburnett9886
    @doralburnett9886 2 года назад

    Much appreciated