Can I have close friends of the opposite sex? | Dave and Ashley Willis
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2019
- On this Summer Quickie of The Naked Marriage podcast, Dave and Ashley Willis continue their Q&A series, where they answer their most frequently asked questions: Is it appropriate to have close friends of the opposite sex?
Check out our NEW book here - www.amazon.com/Naked-Marriage...
Follow us on Social:
Facebook: @strongermarriages
Instagram: @daveandashleywillis
Twitter: @davewillis
A podcast dedicated to undressing the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. The concerns and questions most couples have in marriage often go unspoken, until now. Hosts Dave and Ashley Willis bring wisdom, vulnerability, and humor to even the toughest marriage topics. Together they have built a strong following, reaching millions of married couples through their blogs, books, and videos. They have four young sons and live near Dallas, TX.
Having friends of the opposite sex is asking for trouble. It has never been allowed in my marriage as my husband and I agree on it. Thank you for posting.
That is a bit much. My wife and I both have friends of the opposite sex. We even go to a married couples Home Group/Bible Study, and we are both friends will all the husbands and wives.
This is something I try to make my husband understand all the time
Me too and now he has texted and emailed and taken a female "friend" for a drink alone.
@@ericareeves3284 how did that work out?
Any updates ? Still together with him?
My husband had his affair with his friend. My dad always said men and women can not be friends for that reason. I wished I would have listened.
How ever my husband still thinks it’s ok to have opposite sex friends. He says I am being controlling.
Your husband had an affair and he still is trying to have opposite sex friends?!?!?! If it were me, I would be filing for divorce.
This right here is FACTS. Soon to be married here and I can say through bumping my head in previous relationships that our human “nature” or the flesh for Christian perspective is a very tricky area. Every time I ever enter a relationship I enter into it with the mindset of marriage. That being said I cut all ties to female friends unless that friend is a mutual friend between my significant other/spouse. And even then I set strict (not controlling) more so for myself. I believe that if my spouse is my best friend, what other female friend do I need? If I can’t trust her, whom can I trust? I make it a priority to tell my significant every conversation and let her aware of whom I’m around. Sounds like much but marriage is sacred. It’s something that is to be cherished and protected.
This is strong 1 Notion, thanks for sharing
Amen
No single man or women should be hanging around alone with a married person, period,
So, as a husband, a single man shouldn't be hanging out with me?
This has been an issue in my marriage. We have a very unique situation. My wife is on staff at our church and our son has autism and cannot go to church. Which means I have to stay home on Sundays to watch him but my wife has to attend church because thats her job. About 2 years ago my wife started staying after church to talk to people longer than usual. Instead of staying after an hour she was staying after for 2,3 and even one time 4 hours to talk to people. She had just made friends with three single brothers that are all around her age and I found out she was staying after to talk to them each Sunday. She says it was also with a group of people including her girl friends but I then found out that these three single brothers were texting her every night. Literally 7 days a week. I confronted her in a very loving way and told her there needed to be some boundaries. Thankfully she responded well. The boundaries we set were that she would come home from church every Sunday 1 hour after service ended. The other boundary was that she had to limit texting to twice a week with these siblings and that it had to be a group text not one on one. She agreed to these boundaries. But recently when I asked her if she was limiting the text messaging to twice a week like we had agreed, she responded by saying "I don't know because I don't count how many times I text people each week." I trust my wife but I still have some concerns. She is the children pastor at our church and recently these same three single brothers started volunteering with her in children ministry. They also give her gifts occasionally (CD's, toys for our son and even cash.). Seems a bit inappropriate to me.
@RL and wife: Sorry to hear this kind f thing. My perspective doesn’t matter at all but hopefully it helps at any level. By Gods design, chemistry and energy b/w men and women will always be different than b/w man to man or women to women. It’s way accountable and simpler when men of Church can guide other brothers and females can help each other out. Any sort of private texting, befriending opposite sex after services is handing key to enemy and having unguarded windows in our own marriage. Also, in our marriage we try to stick to the rule where women will come thru me, and my husband decides or deals w any situations including friendships w men. In other words, we have decided that if it’s a woman, I decide, text and other forms of communication and my husband takes lead w any other man. God bless you both and help seeing His ways of doing marriage and relation.
Men and women cannot be "friends". God created us for relationships. My husband and I were "friends", then all of a sudden we were married. Lol. Best advice: Guard your heart and wait until marriage.💯🌈😊
Nah, nobody is attracted to everyone of the opposite sex. Male alone isn’t the requirement.People that aren’t a guy I’m attracted to I see as family.
I was with you till i saw the rainbow flag
That is a bit much. My wife and I both have friends of the opposite sex. We even go to a married couples Home Group/Bible Study, and we are both friends will all the husbands and wives.
Yeah out of respect for my partner i would have boundaries about friendships.
Yes! 🙌 I agree 100% your best friend should be your spouse! You cannot be friends with the opposite sex in marriage . It goes both ways. Or in any serious relationship period.
That is a bit much. My wife and I both have friends of the opposite sex. We even go to a married couples Home Group/Bible Study, and we are both friends will all the husbands and wives.
My wife and I have a best friend who is a single female and we have rules that apply:
1: I don’t hang out or talk to this friend outside of my wife
2: Always hangout with that person “together” never are she and I alone.
3: She respects our marriage @ all times
Great wisdom!
Love !!!this podcast literally came across it ,I feel like god has lead me to this channel
Answer is NO. Run away if he or she does not agree
It's destroyed my relationship with my current girlfriend.
Having a friend of the opposite sex can be complicated at times.
Going through this now
Yes!
AMEN❤
How about guys texting your wife complaining about their wives. Painted a picture like hes a young boy looking for advice. Hes 38 ! Oh boy alarm bells ring. And i know what i will do
Allissaa
I’ll agree with whatever my future wife says. Let it be known that I am 48, single, have never had what could be considered a successful relationship with a lady my entire life and haven’t been on a date in 13 1/2 years. But I am optimistic. 😎
🕎
There is nothing "counter cultural" in this. Psychology and statistics supports having healthy boundaries in marriage.
The science and math support it, but the culture does not.
I heard it was ok, just as long as 3 rules apply.
1. Don't talk about personal things in the marriage.
2. Do not meet alone. Meet In a public place.
3. Always let your spouse know. Never ever hide it.
Thoughts?
These rules can be broken, especially when spouses are going through a rough patch. Personally I think it's asking for trouble.
I agree with all except one thing-
I firmly believe we should
Never see opposite sex friends without partner/spouse present.
Wrong don’t leave any open doors for potential problems, if I was married and some dude wanted to hang out with my wife alone, him and I are going to have a very serious discussion
When you have friends of the opposite sex, you leave an opening for the devil to use against your marriage. Guard your marriage with everything. We truly underestimate how easily a boundary can be broken and how easily our feelings control our actions especially during rough seasons in marriage.
4. If u feel that ur partner is not happy with it don't make friends of opposite sex
To ensure and respect my future wife that God will bless me with in His time, I need to make sure there are no opposite sex friends on my side at all and that she is the only one! The devil will do anything and everything to tempt a person to commit infidelity and have an affair. You're playing with fire by having opposite sex friends within the confines of marriage. I don't care if this approach seems old school or if there are haters here that would just say to me "oh you're just an insecure, jealous, controlling, abusive person for doing this. Don't you trust her?" Yes I trust her, I don't trust those opposite sex "friends" around her because I know that other men very rarely stay "friends" with a woman they don't have feelings for. So you bet I see these opposite sex "friends" as a threat in the confines of a marriage. God didn't design Adam and Eve to be just friends.
Is it okay to have no friends of either sex?
Just picture that cartoon of a dog who's only thinking about his bone to chew on 24/7. That's exactly how men only think about that organ between their legs to fulfill their desires..