I didn’t expect such controversy over this video or this topic and I realized we probably should’ve gone more in depth about the beauty of sex and biblical marriage. I want to assure you that, like I mentioned in the video, we respect one another’s wishes and would never force the other to do something they don’t want to do. It is OUR choice to serve each other in this way and always end up enjoying intimacy, even if we weren’t in the mood to begin with. I feel there should be a follow up video on these topics to go deeper and explain better why and how this works 🤎
I enjoyed your take on the subject and agree with you. I felt you did right by your explanation but some people... this is the first video of yours I have watched since having my own little 11 months ago, I am excited to start watching you again though.
They are really just looking for something to nit pick about. Literally anyone who follows you guys knows this isn’t a situation where you’re saying “I’m not in the mood, let’s get this over with” and then you hate every minute of it. That’s ridiculous.
@@jimmyjeopardy You’re blowing this out of proportion. She didn’t say anything about him TAKING anything. She said she GIVES him what he needs, because she’s an adult woman who understands that people have sexual needs and that a healthy sex life is extremely important to a healthy relationship. You don’t have to be religious to understand this.
The concept of serving one another in marriage and sharing our bodies selflessly is biblical, wonderful, and absolutely in line with Scripture. It is done out of love, not to be tinged with resentment (as D has always made clear) and applies to BOTH parties. Also, both parties are to respect when the other is not in a good place to be intimate, for whatever reason. It's a reciprocal process to keep one another satisfied while also giving one another the freedom to say no. The result is rewarding and gratifying for both if done with a pure heart and intentions as Scripture says to do. It's voluntary and a beautiful thing. ❤ Hugs Delilah and thank you so much for your honesty! 😊
My only issue with the sex portion is my mom used to say this exact thing and it never taught me consent. It just taught me to let him do whatever he wanted whether I wanted it or not and it lead to a very unhealthy mentality and abusive relationship. My body is mine before it is ever anyone else’s regardless of our marriage or relationship.
I’m so sorry 🤎 I probably should have dove deeper into this topic, but it is important to note respect for one another. It’s my choice, and we always ended up enjoying it together, even if I didn’t want to at first.
@@LoeppkysLife please don’t be sorry!! You didn’t do anything wrong! I understand that, I should’ve gone into more context as well, my mom didn’t explain how the husband should fully respect your choice to not have sex. You did a good job explaining your relationship boundaries which I greatly appreciated in this video.
Sex in a marriage when you view it in a biblical stance is really beautiful. It is a form of communication between each other 🧡 I agree with you on the sex part and I hope this could maybe clear up some things for people who are confused about that part who are up for reading this; I think what they meant when they said “serving each other with sex in a marriage” does NOT mean either person is entitled to force themselves upon the other. It’s more about it’s *agreed* upon (by both partners) that you will be open to sex if the other person wants it, even if you aren’t in the mood right away. Delilah also did say that if she’s really not feeling good, Zach respects that and doesn’t push, as should every partner. There is a difference between not being in the mood vs REALLY not wanting it. And your partner should know the difference. If not, please communicate it! As someone with a low sex drive as well, honestly we would rarely have sex if we only waited for when I was “in the mood.” But when I say yes even when I’m not in the mood, usually I’m in the mood in few minutes (it’s called foreplay, it doesn’t mean “yes go straight in” 😂). And if I’m just REALLY not in the mood, he respects that and stops. So please please don’t misinterpret what she means. It really is a beautiful thing and can make a marriage healthy IF there is proper communication involved 🧡
I understand where you are coming from Delilah, but there are Some people out there who take those bible passages to mean that a woman HAS to have sex when her husband wants. Marital rape was not even considered a real assault until very recently and is even glamorized in movies (hello Gone with the Wind). So I think it is important for women to know that they ALWAYS have a choice. I think its fine to decide you want to serve your partner even if you are not in the mood, but it should be a choice made freely and without pressure
It is my CHOICE to serve my spouse in that way. And we always enjoy our time together even if I wasn’t in the mood to begin with. According to the comments I guess i didn’t make that clear enough 😕
YES! Delilah´s message is for healthy mental men. Zack is adorable and super healthy. Women should be able to keep things in perspective ... does the Bible talk about that???
@@LoeppkysLife the phrase I do it even if I’m not in the mood basically says you just lay there and he does his thing. So yes it sounds very rapy and very triggering. You have to consider that there are people who have been taught this and have sacrificed their bodies and have trauma from having to endure sex even when not enjoying it at all. So yes if you’re gonna throw that phrase out, explain what it means.
@@violettababenko4847 she acknowledged further explanation can be helpful but that might have been your interpretation for that phrase based on your own understanding, experiences, influences, etc. I did not assume that's that she meant at all. Not at all what I pictured or where my mind went. It's fine to give your feedback but be cautious of overgeneralizing.
Sometimes you’re not super feeling it but end up enjoying it even if at first is like man I’m tired but I love you so I’m down . Not an absolute no that’s different. My goodness
I just love watching you. I am 74 and it’s so reassuring to see the way my marriage views and raising children are still being lived. Keeping it all Christ centered is so important. Thank you for all the work you do making these wonderful videos😘
I absolutely love when you do these kinds of videos. It's so refreshing to see you openly admit that you're flawed and human just like everyone else. You don't pretend to be someone you're not, and it makes me love watching your videos even more 🤎
I always find it interesting to hear people perspectives on arguing in front of children. Growing up my parents fought a lot and it was really hard to hear. Even to this day I dont like hearing even little "bickering" type arguments from them. Now as a wife and parent myself I really dont want my children to feel that same discomfort. I would suggest that it is possible to have a disagreement and corresponding conversation without it being an argument or even bickering therefore kids learn conflict resolution without the emotional component. My husband has taught me by example a lot about how tone of voice can totally alter a conversation (he is so good at staying even keeled therefore not escalating anything). Tone of voice is soo soo key!
“It’s not up to you to change your husband. Just pray for him” I needed that soooo much. Been putting everything in the lords hands and this is confirmation that it’s what I should be doing!
As far as libido goes, your gender doesn’t have nearly as much of an impact of how high your libido is as much as your *hormones* do. Sex drive is based on hormones therefore any surge of other hormones can disrupt that or ramp it up. So don’t blame yourself if you’re stressing or you’re breastfeeding or it’s prenatal or postpartum, cause all of those seasons involve hormone shifts.
Absolutely, but we also can't blame our partners who may be in a totally different place in terms of sexual desire because of their own hormones. So discussion and love for one another is key.
Delilah - I love how you speak about religion. I am not religious or spiritual - however I really do appreciate the strength and joy you find in your faith. I love how you talk to your children about faith - in a recent vlog when you were telling Eloise she is beautiful because God made her and all things God makes are beautiful it made me so happy that you are setting that amazing example for your daughter and ensuring she is happy with who she is. I personally cannot support religion in my own life - too many of the churches in my area have been absolutely horrid to members of the LGBTQ+ community - preaching love then refusing to love and respect family members that come out as gay or trans. But it does make me happy to see others who find joy, love and strength in their religion and faith. I'm happy you don't force your faith on your viewers, but instead share what it means to you and what lessons you take from your faith to hold close to your heart. Thank you for sharing how faith plays a part in your marriage - I do enjoy seeing how others handle things in their marriage/relationship that I have also come across in my partnership (not married but together for 7 years with a 1 year old)
For everyone watching, I want to remember you that your body is YOURS and only YOURS. It's not because you are married that you can do things to your spouse that they don't want you to.
I really appreciate the trueness of your relationship on social media, whereas all you see in social media is sugar coated relationships taken out of a movie (which doesn’t actually exist) It’s refreshing to see and hear people who love each other who dont have the necessity of being viewed as perfect.
When I first got pregnant all of a sudden I lost all libido, I just didn‘t want to have sex and when we did I just felt so disgusting. It lead to not having sex for a week, then two weeks then in a month and this extremely low (it actually felt like „negative“ libido, if that makes sense 😅) libido didn‘t stop until I weaned our baby. And then all of a sudden it just kicked in SO hard 😂 but what I want to say is that even in a marriage you shouldn‘t feel committed to have sex with your spouse if it makes you feel very very bad, like it hurts or makes you cry or gives you the feeling of being „used“ (that‘s what I was feeling like). Actually that shouldn‘t be a tipp, in a healthy relationship your partner or spouse should sense this or respect this when you‘re talking about it. Anyways, love seeing your marriage, you seem so fresh and happy and healthy! :)
@agatha chris I would typically agree with you (if sex is part of a marriage agreement at the beginning, one partner can’t take it off the table forever with no discussion - it’s a vital part of life for most people) but when pregnancy and breastfeeding is in the mix, the pregnant partner has completely given over their body and mind to growing a child for the marriage and family, and can’t do anything during that period to change the total hormonal changes that caused, in this case, a complete loss of libido. You literally medically can’t do anything to change it safely and are just along for the ride. In the grand scheme of a marriage, two years (pregnancy + about a year of breastfeeding) isn’t actually that long. Ideally it wouldn’t be two years of true no contact/no sex, but saying that the pregnant partner just “closed up shop” in this case doesn’t really reflect the HUGE sacrifice they are making for the family to even exist. Being pregnant is amazing (I just went through it), but it’s also a radical act. And husbands should be prepared that such a radical act might have a radical impact on their life while their wife is going through it. Why should the wife have to go through pregnancy and breastfeeding without any impact on their husband? How cruel that would be.
wait wait wait.... so it isn't just my husband who goes to sleep at the same time I do, sleeps through the late night wake ups, continues to sleep in, and then complains that he's soooooooo tired all darn day?!? this is one issue I have also had to work on with being resentful.
I've definitely struggled with this big time and have just retrained myself to believe that men need the uninterrupted sleep more. Him being tired is more annoying to me than me being tired so I just let him sleep lol
If you're both comfortable with it, I think it would be fun if you guys shared some of your childhood and early dating photos with us..watching your reactions and interactions with each other is always so fun!!
The Zach quotes are gold in this video! “I met with my youth pastor & he gave me a book but I didn’t read it.” “I’m learning a lot in this talk too.” 😂
Why would you want to have sex with your partner if you know they’re not in the mood? a big part of having sex is knowing that your partner is enjoying it too
Can't respect any man that will use his wife's body for his needs, looking her in the eyes and knowing that she is not enjoying it at all, and still be able to do it.
Seems like men are hardwired with this constant sex thing but they don’t go through the things us women do (the different moods and hormone fluctuations, dealing with house duties and just being tired) they don’t have any of these to deal with so that’s why they are constantly ready to be in the aroused state, plus the hormone testosterone which is dominant in them seems like it make you aroused 24/7 aggressive etc. they don’t know what it feels like to be pregnant, in pain, nausea, swollen feet, go through painful childbirths, c sections, episiotomies, tears, hormonal shifts, postpartum depression, sore breast and at the same time still have to deal with the babies and or older kids, the house chores, sometimes work etc with a happy demeanor, the worry because sometimes women develop cancer after multiple births because of hormonal changes etc so much more and still have to be in a happy mood to lay down every 5 mins to have sex 😒😒😒
@@nicolepilgrim3142 if that’s the case, take care of your needs yourself. I would hate if my partner was just doing something for me even though they were getting the same fulfillment from it that I would be. That would be a turn off
@@nicolepilgrim3142 this is not true and can be a really damaging mindset. I thought this way when I married my husband and for the first two years I was the one who often had to ask for sex and also got rejected which was so painful because then I thought something was wrong with me because I thought men just wanted to have sex all the time so why didn't he want to ask me to have sex or want to have sex when I asked.
I loved the idea of doing a series on how you guys handle your finances together! My husband and I also got married very young (I was 18 and he was 20) and this has always been difficult to navigate. I love your videos and thank you for sharing your lives with us! ❤️
While I do completely agree saying no (to anything) out of spite is wrong. A husband not respecting “not being in the mood” sounds like they need to take stock of the reasons you are not feeling sex and do the work to help you rather than make it another chore for you…
@@heidiadkins4871 hi just to let you know that the “royal you” doesn’t exist. I think maybe you’re getting the “royal plural” (we) mixed up with the use of “one”. In this case you would use “one” instead of “you”. The royal plural is when royalty use the term “we” to refer to themselves. Just to let you know! Sorry if this comes off as rude I’m just a big English language nerd haha
Thank you for making this video. Marriage is a gift of yourself to your spouse. Nowadays people are so guarded in their marriage due to fear their spouse will in some way take advantage of them. All this does is limit the growth in your relationship with your spouse. When spouses (husband and wives) are willing to live a life of service to each other it doesn’t leave room for selfishness because you know the other person has your best interest at heart, not their own. It’s critical to have a marriage rooted in honor, love and mutual respect.
There's a LOT about her serving and accepting him, but not much about him serving and accepting her. A rec curing theme regarding marriage in the Bible is reciprocation.
There were so many things I could relate to in this one, like the sleeping in, being a "nagging wife", or not keeping your feelings in :). It's nice to know that other people / couples struggle with the same things I so. Thank you vor being so honest about things that don't go that smoothly in your lives or your marriage. RUclips can sometimes make you feel like other people's lives are "perfect", I appreciate that you're sharing things you struggle with.
Delilah and Zach, I just want to say thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing with the world, your life, and your relationship. It is really inspiring and encouraging as a young married woman wanting to start a family and feeling nervous about how kids will affect my husband and I's relationship. I cannot thank you enough and I admire how you talk about God and the bible and his presence in your lives. For other videos, I would be very interested in your budgeting advice as well as maybe a video on what conversations or resources you guys used to prepare for parenting and how to parent/discipline. Thank you again, I love your content and your adorable family.
Please make couple sit down chats more often!! Love this!! Y’all are such an encouragement to you get couples & young parents like myself!! Hugs from TX 💕
Thank you so much for posting this. I feel so incredibly convicted by so many of the topics you covered. I really felt that God was speaking through you! We had a baby five months ago, and we also have a two year old. Having kids makes working on marriage so much harder, and I’ve been praying for God to show me what to do to make things better. I’ve been feeling out of step with my husband recently, and watching your video has helped me figure out what I need to work on. Thank you. 💕
12:10 pausing to have a whole Bible study on my own to auto examine myself on this one 😅🥰… I’ll be right back and praying for all of us in this beautiful life-God-given-journey of marriage …
Hmm I’m all about having a healthy sexual relationship with your partner and a big part of that is understanding that no means no even if you are married. Unfortunately, there is a lot of men out there that think that just because they are in a relationship they own the woman’s body and can take it whenever they please. This is not true. It’s your body, your choice and you can always say NO. Respect each other’s boundaries and trust me it’s WAYYY better when ur both in the mood 😉
I never said we didn’t respect each other! I should’ve dove deeper into the topic and explained it better. Like I said, he respects me when I say no. And sometimes I say yes even if I’m not in the mood. It’s a give and take. And we always enjoy intimacy whether I start out in the mood or not :)
@@LoeppkysLife I think the misunderstanding came from you quoting the passage that said the your body is his and his is yours without diving further into the topic. If your body is his, there's no space for boundaries, you know? It's like he's entitled to do what he wants to, just like your entitled to use your phone or any other possession as you please. I also disagree profoundly with the notion that sex is a necessity, and if for any reason the wife can't provide intimacy in a certain period due to pregnancy or low libido or what not, it means it's her fault if the husband seeks it somewhere else (I think he mentioned this in the video). Intimacy is a big part of a romantic relationship, yes, but it's not a necessity like hunger or thirst - and to me, your partner doesn't need to treat it as such. I'm saying this because I used to think like that (that I HAD to fulfill my partners needs) and it did me so much harm. But I also agree that sometimes you can say yes even when not in the mood and still have a good time (:
I love the behind the scenes 😆. These laundry / Q&A videos are the best. You are so down to earth about life and your couple and parenting. Makes us want to be better as a couple and parents.
Love this! Thank you for opening up your marriage to us. None of us are perfect, but it’s so nice to know how other couples with a Christ-centered marriage are doing things.
You guys are adorable. True love shows. You are being authentic with what you believe and everyone will have their opinions.. but I respect your transparency and honesty. Authenticity, in my opinion, is more important than beliefs. I live a similar lifestyle and align with some things although I’m not Christian, it’s not an offense to hear it in the language of Christianity. I’ve love watching your videos and really respect how much you do and how genuine you are. We need more of that in this world. Ps, how many balls are you guys attending! 😂
You are one of my favorite youtubers but I feel like I just watched this over on Sarah Therese channel. I don't agree with everything you say about how you believe a woman should be with her husband or that children can be sneaky and distract you from your husband. But I do enjoy learning others perspectives. I'm 34, been with my partner 16 yrs 4 children 15 to 8 1/2 and 1 on the way. I have a healthy Christian relationship just different.
generic music over the innappropriate conversation ahaaha videos with zach are always fun to watch, just the two of you interacting and sharing pov not on purpose but you crack me up
Watching you both makes me smile it’s how my husband and I were. Value each other and your time together as tomorrow is not guaranteed. Love each other at every chance 💕🤗🇦🇺
You guys are beautiful!!! I love how real you kept it; no gloss overs. Kudos. Ps A word of advice from another mother of two…don’t let a rough pregnancy deter you from more children. I did, and deeply regret it. The rewards of bringing another soul to nourish and cherish (and hopefully lead to the Lord) into this world will greatly outweigh the momentary discomfort.
Sometimes silence is the best way to deal with anger issues that way nobody says something that they can't take back. Argue, Resolve, and Move On is one of the better ways to put conflicts to pasture.
Finishing up the video and I absolutely loved this! So funny, open and relatable. It makes me realize alot of things are normal, and a reminder to pray for the things we can't change. William's cuteness definitely stole the show at the end lol.
Another date idea is to ask each other questions like this! Get to know their favourite outfits on you, and reminisce about past romantic moments ♥️ My husband and I ask each other for sexy time with the same expectation we would ask for any time with each other (going for a walk, playing video games). It's mutually agreed to be part of our relationship, so occasionally a partner will CHOOSE to participate. There is a hope and anticipation, but not a demand.
I feel more at ease to know that I’m not the only one feeling uncomfortable about sex after birth . It’s painful and scary . I was 6 months postpartum until I felt ok again .
Hormones and your physical body are everything ! I had similar issues during menopause and after my hysterectomy. A loving partner will understand but you must be fair to them and explain how you feel, it won't be forever and you love them even more for understanding. Good luck 🥰
I think it's good that you do have arguments in front of the kids. My parents never argued or even disagreed in front of us. If my mom made a statement dad just agreed and complied. I think it was really hard on my siblings and I because we didn't learn to resolve conflict.
I think you were very clear about your views on “marital duties”. You mentioned if you aren’t feeling well you shouldn’t do it, but you just shouldn’t withhold it as a form of punishment or spite. So many people use it as a weapon: “I won’t have that with you if you don’t do xyz” or “because you didn’t do xyz I won’t”, and that can lead to major conflict and turns something of love into a tool of hate. I don’t think you have to be more clear about it.
I love it when you guys do these. Your so funny and cute together. And your also wise beyond your years. I'm 37 and married for almost 8 years and I always learn something from you. Thanks 😊
Love watching your videos. I found your channel back in May when I was pregnant with my first and trying to figure out how to navigate pregnancy. My hormones made me manic (very uncharacteristic of me) and your videos have helped me find calm and peace. You also remind me to let go and be better to my husband.
My daughter keeps looking at the screen saying "dada! dada!" My husband is also named Zach, and they look pretty similar so it's confusing to her hahaha. Great video! :)
I really appreciate you giving ideas as to what to say instead of "always" or "never" I have always heard this advice, but it is hard in the moment to think of an alternative!
The tiredness might also mean not getting enough of a good sleep, have you tried sleep vitamins like “Calm” or anything containing melatonin? This has changed my life and I finally stopped taking naps during the day🙏
It's so weird trying to catch up to your vids and comparing it to my life at the time. I feel so much more mature now because the beginning of 2022 is when my life and mindset seriously changed
I would want to see you guys talk about how you decided you were ready for a baby. I know that there is never a right time to have a baby, but I am curious about how you guys decided you were ready, the factors that went into the decision, etc. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years and we both want children, but we are struggling on deciding "the right time". I would love to be able to mention new factors or things to consider that you and Zack talked about or considered.
This was me and my husband with our first! We prayed together one night and felt confirmation from the Lord! You could try that💛 it’s such a big decision and the Lord will totally guide you!
Happy New Year kids. You have a beautiful family and I love watching you guys. I am 55 years old, and you make me smile every day; I see you and you make me remember the basic day to day lovely family life with kids, and also the wildness of it. I´m done, but miss the feeling. Enjoy it!!!! Thank you for your beautifulness!!
I’m literally crying tears from laughing. -things got mildly inappropriate. With the saxophone music 😆🤣🤣 I’m trying to hard not to bust out laughing as it’s after midnight and my family is sleeping. The zoom in when Zach said he never read the book and the mic flashback. Oh my goodness. I need to remember I can’t at watch your videos late at night because I have to hold in the cackles. You guys are so genuinely amazing and I thank God for you and that you have this channel. Delilah I loved your honest at the beginning about how God is showing you where you need to work on yourself by these questions. I love when He gently teaches us through others. He’s used you many times for me. You’re so humble and meek. The Godly attributes I aspire to be. 🤍
ARMO... Love it! If you could think of an R word to follow that, it could be marriage ARMOR. Do my husband and I have your permission to incorporate this into our pastoral pre-marriage coaching material? Argue. Resolve. Move On. Restore, refocus, repent, rejoice? Lots of R words one could use! I think the amount of wisdom you guys have for people so young is inspirational and admirable. Gives older people like me home for the future!
Delilah, I love this video! Especially love what you had to say about praying for your husband. I've been married for a year and a half. A friend recommended the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartain, and it is REALLY good. Just thought I would share for the wives reading the comments. The book is very eye opening 🙂
I know a lot of people are reacting rn 😬 but Delilah does say in the video that Zach respects her when she’s not feeling well enough for sex. Maybe rewatch that answer before reacting lol
I thought this video was really cute! I get what you meant about not being in the mood but trying to “serve” each other anyway at times. I don’t personally view it as a bad thing in situations where you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that your SO would never take advantage of or guilt you into an uncomfortable situation. I liked seeing you guys act like a typical, goofy married couple! 🥸
Great video. Sadly I know/knew so many couples who aren't honest about finances, one withholds intimacy, don't share load of chores or childcare fairly, one resents the other (for years in some cases), focus on children and ignore/neglect their partner, withhold allowing the other to be their best, etc. My husband and I made a pact to always speak up when the other does something we don't like - likewise we let the other know when we they do something they like !
I love seeing this fearless, normal open honesty from u guys. Makes us all know, we r all the same in some ways. Great job not holding back 🥰 proud of u both xxoo love n support from Red Deer💗
I dont think sex should be an obligation. No one should do anything they don't want to but I do think if someone isn't into it maybe be open to other things rather than penetration. There's sooooo much more you can do. And sometimes you can be in the mood to be put in the mood. Unless the sex is sooo bad and the other person is very selfish ...its ok to just say no thanks. 😂
Oh my goodness the dating memories got me choked up, y’all are so cute. I love how honest you are about working on bettering yourself for your partnership, something I am too working on as well. I have a question; how do you work through hurt or past hurt that your actions have caused your partner?
I felt like putting this out there because not everyone's sex life looks the same, not everyone's boundaries or needs are the same, and because of that you and I might both have a great, really healthy relationship with sex in our partnerships and yet it might look completely different. I've gone through times with health issues where sex was not enjoyable and my partner never wanted sex in that time. he says he wouldn't properly enjoy it if he had to think the entire time that it wasn't making me feel good. A big part of sex for the both of us especially when it comes to what turns us on is knowing you're making your partner feel really good, and if that's not part of it, then it feels just off and we'd both not be in the mood if he thought it wasn't completely enjoyable for the other. I sometimes feel really guilty for not wanting sex when I'm having bad health spells and my partner always reminds me that he doesn't want sex if not to make us both feel good and that's a big part of what makes sex so good for him, so without that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it properly either. I mean, I guess on a completely physical level it would still feel good for him, but if a big part that turns you on is missing, it's just not that appealing? I personally think sex and physical intimate moments and closeness in general is very important to both of us, but when one of us isn't enjoying sex, and there's so many other ways of feeling intimate (I know many people on social media use being intimate to mean sex because censorship but that's not what I mean right now) and enjoying each others closeness, it's just not a sacrifice. Maybe that's because we both want and need sex when we're feeling healthy, and so it's not something we have to talk each other into. It's not something we expect of each other, it's something we both equally really enjoy with each other. I also don't think I'm not taking care of my partner's needs if I'm not up to it physically for a period of time because we both know that it's temporary and that after it's over, I'll want and really really enjoy it again, and then it's just better for the both of us. I'm rambling a lot and you probably really don't want to know all this, but yea. I'm absolutely not saying this because I want to insinuate that people who want sex even when a partner isn't completely capable of enjoying it properly should feel bad for wanting it. I'm however saying thsi because I want to put it out there that you don't have to feel bad for not wanting it for periods of times. There's many many people out there, men and women (there seems to be the strange idea out there that all men feel one way and all women another but that's not true) who will absolutely not mind. Who will not be disappointed or annoyed or sad, they just won't mind. Sex is beautiful and amazing if you aren't doing it out of an idea that you owe it to your partner. If it doesn't feel that way for you, talk to your partner about it, try new things, change things up. It's okay to want that. It's okay to not always have the same libido throughout phases of your life, especially if there's something big your body is going through. Guilt and sex are two things that shouldn't go together. You shouldn't feel guilty when you think about or have sex, and you never should do it out of feeling guilty. I also want to make it clear that to me, there's a difference between sex physically not feeling good or making you feel really bad emotionally, and yet you still do it because you feel like you owe it to your partner, versus not being turned on in the moment but your partner is, and you choose to go with it and then you end up really enjoying it. What I said before was all for the scenario where it really doesn't feel good for you, whether that be physically or emotionally. I think it can be really beautiful to choose to serve each other in that way and give each other the intimacy the other one actively craves at the moment even tho you wouldn't have been turned on otherwise. I actually think it's not very realistic to only ever want sex when both people, independently from each other, get really in the mood. often, the mood comes once you start getting into it. And that's a good thing. Of course, if you're really not in the mood, you can always say no, but i feel like often one partner starts wanting it and the other decides to go along with it and then really enjoys it. Or one partner thinks about it and even tho it wasn't on your mind, you know you'll enjoy it and you also enjoy making your partner feel good and that's the reason you say yes. There's a very big difference between not having been in the mood but getting in the mood with your partner, and feeling like you owe it to your partner even tho you know it really won't feel good at all.
We don’t come from religious households so when my partner heard what you said about ‘serving’ each other in regards to sex, he instantly turned to me and was shocked! I know what you mean though, I definitely think it just came across wrong and what you decide with you partner consensually is your right and life!♥️
Honey...We all feel inadequate in our couple because we all have issues to work on. we have personnal issues to work on and we have couple issues to work on and we also have family issues to work on...we are all in the same boat haha! Don't be too harsh on yourself
![Quando Rondo - Grow Up [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8zFnCg3BO4Q/mqdefault.jpg)
I didn’t expect such controversy over this video or this topic and I realized we probably should’ve gone more in depth about the beauty of sex and biblical marriage. I want to assure you that, like I mentioned in the video, we respect one another’s wishes and would never force the other to do something they don’t want to do. It is OUR choice to serve each other in this way and always end up enjoying intimacy, even if we weren’t in the mood to begin with. I feel there should be a follow up video on these topics to go deeper and explain better why and how this works 🤎
if it works for you guys and you are both happy then it’s all good! Ppl are always finding this to stir up 😒
I enjoyed your take on the subject and agree with you. I felt you did right by your explanation but some people... this is the first video of yours I have watched since having my own little 11 months ago, I am excited to start watching you again though.
They are really just looking for something to nit pick about. Literally anyone who follows you guys knows this isn’t a situation where you’re saying “I’m not in the mood, let’s get this over with” and then you hate every minute of it. That’s ridiculous.
@@jimmyjeopardy You’re blowing this out of proportion. She didn’t say anything about him TAKING anything. She said she GIVES him what he needs, because she’s an adult woman who understands that people have sexual needs and that a healthy sex life is extremely important to a healthy relationship. You don’t have to be religious to understand this.
The concept of serving one another in marriage and sharing our bodies selflessly is biblical, wonderful, and absolutely in line with Scripture. It is done out of love, not to be tinged with resentment (as D has always made clear) and applies to BOTH parties. Also, both parties are to respect when the other is not in a good place to be intimate, for whatever reason. It's a reciprocal process to keep one another satisfied while also giving one another the freedom to say no.
The result is rewarding and gratifying for both if done with a pure heart and intentions as Scripture says to do. It's voluntary and a beautiful thing. ❤ Hugs Delilah and thank you so much for your honesty! 😊
My only issue with the sex portion is my mom used to say this exact thing and it never taught me consent. It just taught me to let him do whatever he wanted whether I wanted it or not and it lead to a very unhealthy mentality and abusive relationship. My body is mine before it is ever anyone else’s regardless of our marriage or relationship.
I’m so sorry 🤎 I probably should have dove deeper into this topic, but it is important to note respect for one another. It’s my choice, and we always ended up enjoying it together, even if I didn’t want to at first.
@@LoeppkysLife please don’t be sorry!! You didn’t do anything wrong! I understand that, I should’ve gone into more context as well, my mom didn’t explain how the husband should fully respect your choice to not have sex. You did a good job explaining your relationship boundaries which I greatly appreciated in this video.
Sex in a marriage when you view it in a biblical stance is really beautiful. It is a form of communication between each other 🧡
I agree with you on the sex part and I hope this could maybe clear up some things for people who are confused about that part who are up for reading this;
I think what they meant when they said “serving each other with sex in a marriage” does NOT mean either person is entitled to force themselves upon the other. It’s more about it’s *agreed* upon (by both partners) that you will be open to sex if the other person wants it, even if you aren’t in the mood right away. Delilah also did say that if she’s really not feeling good, Zach respects that and doesn’t push, as should every partner. There is a difference between not being in the mood vs REALLY not wanting it. And your partner should know the difference. If not, please communicate it!
As someone with a low sex drive as well, honestly we would rarely have sex if we only waited for when I was “in the mood.” But when I say yes even when I’m not in the mood, usually I’m in the mood in few minutes (it’s called foreplay, it doesn’t mean “yes go straight in” 😂). And if I’m just REALLY not in the mood, he respects that and stops. So please please don’t misinterpret what she means. It really is a beautiful thing and can make a marriage healthy IF there is proper communication involved 🧡
This comment said everything. She did mention that he respects her boundaries. 💖
This was a perfect explanation and exactly how I interpreted what Delilah said ☺️
Well said!
I understand where you are coming from Delilah, but there are Some people out there who take those bible passages to mean that a woman HAS to have sex when her husband wants. Marital rape was not even considered a real assault until very recently and is even glamorized in movies (hello Gone with the Wind). So I think it is important for women to know that they ALWAYS have a choice. I think its fine to decide you want to serve your partner even if you are not in the mood, but it should be a choice made freely and without pressure
It is my CHOICE to serve my spouse in that way. And we always enjoy our time together even if I wasn’t in the mood to begin with. According to the comments I guess i didn’t make that clear enough 😕
YES! Delilah´s message is for healthy mental men. Zack is adorable and super healthy. Women should be able to keep things in perspective ... does the Bible talk about that???
@@LoeppkysLife the phrase I do it even if I’m not in the mood basically says you just lay there and he does his thing. So yes it sounds very rapy and very triggering. You have to consider that there are people who have been taught this and have sacrificed their bodies and have trauma from having to endure sex even when not enjoying it at all. So yes if you’re gonna throw that phrase out, explain what it means.
@@violettababenko4847 she acknowledged further explanation can be helpful but that might have been your interpretation for that phrase based on your own understanding, experiences, influences, etc. I did not assume that's that she meant at all. Not at all what I pictured or where my mind went. It's fine to give your feedback but be cautious of overgeneralizing.
Sometimes you’re not super feeling it but end up enjoying it even if at first is like man I’m tired but I love you so I’m down . Not an absolute no that’s different. My goodness
I just love watching you. I am 74 and it’s so reassuring to see the way my marriage views and raising children are still being lived. Keeping it all Christ centered is so important. Thank you for all the work you do making these wonderful videos😘
Some of us are still holding onto the good values 🙏
I absolutely love when you do these kinds of videos. It's so refreshing to see you openly admit that you're flawed and human just like everyone else. You don't pretend to be someone you're not, and it makes me love watching your videos even more 🤎
I always find it interesting to hear people perspectives on arguing in front of children. Growing up my parents fought a lot and it was really hard to hear. Even to this day I dont like hearing even little "bickering" type arguments from them. Now as a wife and parent myself I really dont want my children to feel that same discomfort. I would suggest that it is possible to have a disagreement and corresponding conversation without it being an argument or even bickering therefore kids learn conflict resolution without the emotional component. My husband has taught me by example a lot about how tone of voice can totally alter a conversation (he is so good at staying even keeled therefore not escalating anything). Tone of voice is soo soo key!
I love that!
“It’s not up to you to change your husband. Just pray for him” I needed that soooo much. Been putting everything in the lords hands and this is confirmation that it’s what I should be doing!
As far as libido goes, your gender doesn’t have nearly as much of an impact of how high your libido is as much as your *hormones* do. Sex drive is based on hormones therefore any surge of other hormones can disrupt that or ramp it up. So don’t blame yourself if you’re stressing or you’re breastfeeding or it’s prenatal or postpartum, cause all of those seasons involve hormone shifts.
yes!
Absolutely, but we also can't blame our partners who may be in a totally different place in terms of sexual desire because of their own hormones. So discussion and love for one another is key.
@@annarocha3254 If they are alone in that sex drive, that are able to take care of that for themself, by themself
Love how zack is getting more comfortable around the camera! ❤️
Delilah - I love how you speak about religion. I am not religious or spiritual - however I really do appreciate the strength and joy you find in your faith.
I love how you talk to your children about faith - in a recent vlog when you were telling Eloise she is beautiful because God made her and all things God makes are beautiful it made me so happy that you are setting that amazing example for your daughter and ensuring she is happy with who she is.
I personally cannot support religion in my own life - too many of the churches in my area have been absolutely horrid to members of the LGBTQ+ community - preaching love then refusing to love and respect family members that come out as gay or trans. But it does make me happy to see others who find joy, love and strength in their religion and faith.
I'm happy you don't force your faith on your viewers, but instead share what it means to you and what lessons you take from your faith to hold close to your heart.
Thank you for sharing how faith plays a part in your marriage - I do enjoy seeing how others handle things in their marriage/relationship that I have also come across in my partnership (not married but together for 7 years with a 1 year old)
For everyone watching, I want to remember you that your body is YOURS and only YOURS. It's not because you are married that you can do things to your spouse that they don't want you to.
I really appreciate the trueness of your relationship on social media, whereas all you see in social media is sugar coated relationships taken out of a movie (which doesn’t actually exist)
It’s refreshing to see and hear people who love each other who dont have the necessity of being viewed as perfect.
This is the most realistic spouse q&a
I would love to learn about how you both planned finances together in your early marriage days and now!
When I first got pregnant all of a sudden I lost all libido, I just didn‘t want to have sex and when we did I just felt so disgusting. It lead to not having sex for a week, then two weeks then in a month and this extremely low (it actually felt like „negative“ libido, if that makes sense 😅) libido didn‘t stop until I weaned our baby. And then all of a sudden it just kicked in SO hard 😂 but what I want to say is that even in a marriage you shouldn‘t feel committed to have sex with your spouse if it makes you feel very very bad, like it hurts or makes you cry or gives you the feeling of being „used“ (that‘s what I was feeling like). Actually that shouldn‘t be a tipp, in a healthy relationship your partner or spouse should sense this or respect this when you‘re talking about it. Anyways, love seeing your marriage, you seem so fresh and happy and healthy! :)
He would never force me into anything and respects me and my feelings fully! 🤎
Totally agree! If you don't feel like it no matter whats the reason you shouldn't feel pressured to do a thing!!
@@LoeppkysLife I totally felt that when you were saying that in your video! :)
@agatha chris I would typically agree with you (if sex is part of a marriage agreement at the beginning, one partner can’t take it off the table forever with no discussion - it’s a vital part of life for most people) but when pregnancy and breastfeeding is in the mix, the pregnant partner has completely given over their body and mind to growing a child for the marriage and family, and can’t do anything during that period to change the total hormonal changes that caused, in this case, a complete loss of libido. You literally medically can’t do anything to change it safely and are just along for the ride. In the grand scheme of a marriage, two years (pregnancy + about a year of breastfeeding) isn’t actually that long. Ideally it wouldn’t be two years of true no contact/no sex, but saying that the pregnant partner just “closed up shop” in this case doesn’t really reflect the HUGE sacrifice they are making for the family to even exist. Being pregnant is amazing (I just went through it), but it’s also a radical act. And husbands should be prepared that such a radical act might have a radical impact on their life while their wife is going through it. Why should the wife have to go through pregnancy and breastfeeding without any impact on their husband? How cruel that would be.
Thank you for your answer, couldn‘t have said it better!
I think Zach’s personality came out in this video compared to last ones, and I LOVE IT 😂🙌🏽 you two have chemistry and it’s so fun to watch!! 💗
wait wait wait.... so it isn't just my husband who goes to sleep at the same time I do, sleeps through the late night wake ups, continues to sleep in, and then complains that he's soooooooo tired all darn day?!? this is one issue I have also had to work on with being resentful.
The best is when they are like “the baby slept through the night!” and I’m like no YOU slept through the night - baby and I were up a few times lol.
@@ashleybeazley YES! It makes me want to rip my hair out!! And then they have the AUDACITY to ask me if he can take a nap. >:(
Sleep apnoea can make you feel like you haven't slept at all. Your doctor can help with diagnosis and treatment.
Relate to this COMPLETELY
I've definitely struggled with this big time and have just retrained myself to believe that men need the uninterrupted sleep more. Him being tired is more annoying to me than me being tired so I just let him sleep lol
If you're both comfortable with it, I think it would be fun if you guys shared some of your childhood and early dating photos with us..watching your reactions and interactions with each other is always so fun!!
The Zach quotes are gold in this video!
“I met with my youth pastor & he gave me a book but I didn’t read it.” “I’m learning a lot in this talk too.” 😂
Why would you want to have sex with your partner if you know they’re not in the mood? a big part of having sex is knowing that your partner is enjoying it too
Can't respect any man that will use his wife's body for his needs, looking her in the eyes and knowing that she is not enjoying it at all, and still be able to do it.
Seems like men are hardwired with this constant sex thing but they don’t go through the things us women do (the different moods and hormone fluctuations, dealing with house duties and just being tired) they don’t have any of these to deal with so that’s why they are constantly ready to be in the aroused state, plus the hormone testosterone which is dominant in them seems like it make you aroused 24/7 aggressive etc. they don’t know what it feels like to be pregnant, in pain, nausea, swollen feet, go through painful childbirths, c sections, episiotomies, tears, hormonal shifts, postpartum depression, sore breast and at the same time still have to deal with the babies and or older kids, the house chores, sometimes work etc with a happy demeanor, the worry because sometimes women develop cancer after multiple births because of hormonal changes etc so much more and still have to be in a happy mood to lay down every 5 mins to have sex 😒😒😒
@@nicolepilgrim3142 if that’s the case, take care of your needs yourself. I would hate if my partner was just doing something for me even though they were getting the same fulfillment from it that I would be. That would be a turn off
@@nicolepilgrim3142 this is not true and can be a really damaging mindset. I thought this way when I married my husband and for the first two years I was the one who often had to ask for sex and also got rejected which was so painful because then I thought something was wrong with me because I thought men just wanted to have sex all the time so why didn't he want to ask me to have sex or want to have sex when I asked.
Yeah 100% if it isn't mutual its not happening bc it's supposed to be fun not a chore
I loved the idea of doing a series on how you guys handle your finances together! My husband and I also got married very young (I was 18 and he was 20) and this has always been difficult to navigate. I love your videos and thank you for sharing your lives with us! ❤️
I love seeing another healthy Christian relationship! Being able to teach each other is so amazing. You guys are awesome!!
While I do completely agree saying no (to anything) out of spite is wrong. A husband not respecting “not being in the mood” sounds like they need to take stock of the reasons you are not feeling sex and do the work to help you rather than make it another chore for you…
He does respect me not being in the mood, like I said in the video. However, just because I’m not in the mood, doesn’t mean I can’t get in the mood 😊
@@LoeppkysLife i totally meant this as a royal “you”. It’s easy to see you and your husband love and respect each other :)
@@heidiadkins4871 hi just to let you know that the “royal you” doesn’t exist. I think maybe you’re getting the “royal plural” (we) mixed up with the use of “one”. In this case you would use “one” instead of “you”. The royal plural is when royalty use the term “we” to refer to themselves. Just to let you know! Sorry if this comes off as rude I’m just a big English language nerd haha
@@bluebell8899 interesting facts. Did not know this.
Thank you for making this video.
Marriage is a gift of yourself to your spouse. Nowadays people are so guarded in their marriage due to fear their spouse will in some way take advantage of them. All this does is limit the growth in your relationship with your spouse. When spouses (husband and wives) are willing to live a life of service to each other it doesn’t leave room for selfishness because you know the other person has your best interest at heart, not their own. It’s critical to have a marriage rooted in honor, love and mutual respect.
Beautifully written !
There's a LOT about her serving and accepting him, but not much about him serving and accepting her. A rec curing theme regarding marriage in the Bible is reciprocation.
There were so many things I could relate to in this one, like the sleeping in, being a "nagging wife", or not keeping your feelings in :). It's nice to know that other people / couples struggle with the same things I so. Thank you vor being so honest about things that don't go that smoothly in your lives or your marriage. RUclips can sometimes make you feel like other people's lives are "perfect", I appreciate that you're sharing things you struggle with.
Delilah and Zach, I just want to say thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing with the world, your life, and your relationship. It is really inspiring and encouraging as a young married woman wanting to start a family and feeling nervous about how kids will affect my husband and I's relationship. I cannot thank you enough and I admire how you talk about God and the bible and his presence in your lives. For other videos, I would be very interested in your budgeting advice as well as maybe a video on what conversations or resources you guys used to prepare for parenting and how to parent/discipline. Thank you again, I love your content and your adorable family.
I had a wonderful mentor while I was dating my husband, and early marriage, and she always said, “pray it on him, don’t lay it on him!”
I love this
Oh I love this so much!! I needed this🙌
Please make couple sit down chats more often!! Love this!! Y’all are such an encouragement to you get couples & young parents like myself!! Hugs from TX 💕
Thank you so much for posting this. I feel so incredibly convicted by so many of the topics you covered. I really felt that God was speaking through you! We had a baby five months ago, and we also have a two year old. Having kids makes working on marriage so much harder, and I’ve been praying for God to show me what to do to make things better. I’ve been feeling out of step with my husband recently, and watching your video has helped me figure out what I need to work on. Thank you. 💕
Your videos save me each time I feel like motherhood drains me.. Washing the bottles, etc. I play your videos like I'm talking to a friend. Thank you.
12:10 pausing to have a whole Bible study on my own to auto examine myself on this one 😅🥰… I’ll be right back and praying for all of us in this beautiful life-God-given-journey of marriage …
Hmm I’m all about having a healthy sexual relationship with your partner and a big part of that is understanding that no means no even if you are married. Unfortunately, there is a lot of men out there that think that just because they are in a relationship they own the woman’s body and can take it whenever they please. This is not true. It’s your body, your choice and you can always say NO. Respect each other’s boundaries and trust me it’s WAYYY better when ur both in the mood 😉
Omg right!!! I was so shocked.
I never said we didn’t respect each other! I should’ve dove deeper into the topic and explained it better. Like I said, he respects me when I say no. And sometimes I say yes even if I’m not in the mood. It’s a give and take. And we always enjoy intimacy whether I start out in the mood or not :)
@@LoeppkysLife I think the misunderstanding came from you quoting the passage that said the your body is his and his is yours without diving further into the topic. If your body is his, there's no space for boundaries, you know? It's like he's entitled to do what he wants to, just like your entitled to use your phone or any other possession as you please. I also disagree profoundly with the notion that sex is a necessity, and if for any reason the wife can't provide intimacy in a certain period due to pregnancy or low libido or what not, it means it's her fault if the husband seeks it somewhere else (I think he mentioned this in the video). Intimacy is a big part of a romantic relationship, yes, but it's not a necessity like hunger or thirst - and to me, your partner doesn't need to treat it as such. I'm saying this because I used to think like that (that I HAD to fulfill my partners needs) and it did me so much harm. But I also agree that sometimes you can say yes even when not in the mood and still have a good time (:
I love the behind the scenes 😆.
These laundry / Q&A videos are the best. You are so down to earth about life and your couple and parenting. Makes us want to be better as a couple and parents.
Love this! Thank you for opening up your marriage to us. None of us are perfect, but it’s so nice to know how other couples with a Christ-centered marriage are doing things.
You guys are adorable. True love shows. You are being authentic with what you believe and everyone will have their opinions.. but I respect your transparency and honesty. Authenticity, in my opinion, is more important than beliefs. I live a similar lifestyle and align with some things although I’m not Christian, it’s not an offense to hear it in the language of Christianity. I’ve love watching your videos and really respect how much you do and how genuine you are. We need more of that in this world.
Ps, how many balls are you guys attending! 😂
The idea of financial series sounds great! I'd love to hear more in-depth about what you have learnt along the way 🙂
The fact that you both are having fun and stil being very serious about these answers is so enlightening and so much joy pours out 🥰🥰🥰🥰
You two are just too sweet together🥺 HUGE role models to me as I get ready to marry someday💕
You are one of my favorite youtubers but I feel like I just watched this over on Sarah Therese channel. I don't agree with everything you say about how you believe a woman should be with her husband or that children can be sneaky and distract you from your husband. But I do enjoy learning others perspectives. I'm 34, been with my partner 16 yrs 4 children 15 to 8 1/2 and 1 on the way. I have a healthy Christian relationship just different.
generic music over the innappropriate conversation ahaaha videos with zach are always fun to watch, just the two of you interacting and sharing pov
not on purpose but you crack me up
Watching you both makes me smile it’s how my husband and I were. Value each other and your time together as tomorrow is not guaranteed. Love each other at every chance 💕🤗🇦🇺
Zach getting inappropriate was hilarious😆☺️
The chemistry in this Q & A was hilarious 😅
This was the cutest vlog ever! I loved this so much. Y’all are adorable!
God bless your marriage. We need to see more positive marriages like yours❤️😇
You guys are beautiful!!! I love how real you kept it; no gloss overs. Kudos.
Ps
A word of advice from another mother of two…don’t let a rough pregnancy deter you from more children. I did, and deeply regret it. The rewards of bringing another soul to nourish and cherish (and hopefully lead to the Lord) into this world will greatly outweigh the momentary discomfort.
Couldn’t agree with this more.
One thing about things that go unresolved: try changing the mindset of you vs your partner to be you & partner vs problem.
Sometimes silence is the best way to deal with anger issues that way nobody says something that they can't take back. Argue, Resolve, and Move On is one of the better ways to put conflicts to pasture.
You guys are so cute!!! I'm cracking up through this video. It's so lovely seeing you guys lovingly pick on eachother. Yall are the best!
Finishing up the video and I absolutely loved this! So funny, open and relatable. It makes me realize alot of things are normal, and a reminder to pray for the things we can't change. William's cuteness definitely stole the show at the end lol.
Another date idea is to ask each other questions like this! Get to know their favourite outfits on you, and reminisce about past romantic moments ♥️ My husband and I ask each other for sexy time with the same expectation we would ask for any time with each other (going for a walk, playing video games). It's mutually agreed to be part of our relationship, so occasionally a partner will CHOOSE to participate. There is a hope and anticipation, but not a demand.
I'm laughing so hard and I'm not even at the end! Can't wait to share this with my husband when he gets home!
I feel more at ease to know that I’m not the only one feeling uncomfortable about sex after birth . It’s painful and scary . I was 6 months postpartum until I felt ok again .
Hormones and your physical body are everything ! I had similar issues during menopause and after my hysterectomy. A loving partner will understand but you must be fair to them and explain how you feel, it won't be forever and you love them even more for understanding. Good luck 🥰
Same here. I was feeling like that until my baby turned to 12 months old 😪. You are not alone definitely.... (my baby is 16 months old now)
I’m four months post partum and wondering if or when my sex drive will return. It’s like nonexistent these days.
I think it's good that you do have arguments in front of the kids. My parents never argued or even disagreed in front of us. If my mom made a statement dad just agreed and complied. I think it was really hard on my siblings and I because we didn't learn to resolve conflict.
"I'm praying for you honey!"
**leg pat**
🤣👏
I think you were very clear about your views on “marital duties”. You mentioned if you aren’t feeling well you shouldn’t do it, but you just shouldn’t withhold it as a form of punishment or spite. So many people use it as a weapon: “I won’t have that with you if you don’t do xyz” or “because you didn’t do xyz I won’t”, and that can lead to major conflict and turns something of love into a tool of hate. I don’t think you have to be more clear about it.
I love it when you guys do these. Your so funny and cute together. And your also wise beyond your years. I'm 37 and married for almost 8 years and I always learn something from you. Thanks 😊
Love watching your videos. I found your channel back in May when I was pregnant with my first and trying to figure out how to navigate pregnancy. My hormones made me manic (very uncharacteristic of me) and your videos have helped me find calm and peace. You also remind me to let go and be better to my husband.
The pastor at my old church used to say “Marriage is the pulpit of the home.” I never really understood that until we started having kids!
I don’t always comment, but just wanted to say that I think you guys are doing so great at being parents and being spouses. Keep up the great work!
My daughter keeps looking at the screen saying "dada! dada!" My husband is also named Zach, and they look pretty similar so it's confusing to her hahaha. Great video! :)
Did you know that your last name means Freedom in Slovak language? :)
I love the bits you added about the back and forth on the tech. It was hilarious and real.
I really appreciate you giving ideas as to what to say instead of "always" or "never" I have always heard this advice, but it is hard in the moment to think of an alternative!
This is one of my favorite videos from you all! Love the realness, the editing, the humour, all of it!
Exactly what I needed 💛 It's always a good day when you upload
The tiredness might also mean not getting enough of a good sleep, have you tried sleep vitamins like “Calm” or anything containing melatonin? This has changed my life and I finally stopped taking naps during the day🙏
It's so weird trying to catch up to your vids and comparing it to my life at the time. I feel so much more mature now because the beginning of 2022 is when my life and mindset seriously changed
I would want to see you guys talk about how you decided you were ready for a baby. I know that there is never a right time to have a baby, but I am curious about how you guys decided you were ready, the factors that went into the decision, etc. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years and we both want children, but we are struggling on deciding "the right time". I would love to be able to mention new factors or things to consider that you and Zack talked about or considered.
This was me and my husband with our first! We prayed together one night and felt confirmation from the Lord! You could try that💛 it’s such a big decision and the Lord will totally guide you!
Happy New Year kids. You have a beautiful family and I love watching you guys. I am 55 years old, and you make me smile every day; I see you and you make me remember the basic day to day lovely family life with kids, and also the wildness of it. I´m done, but miss the feeling. Enjoy it!!!! Thank you for your beautifulness!!
Yes! We love having “this guy” join you. Loved the topic. Loved your answers, the realness and it was so funny.
I really enjoyed this video I learned so much on how I can do better in my marriage. Thank you so much for sharing! Also Zack is hilarious 😂
These just keep getting better! Keen to hear how you feel you have improved/learner
in the next Q&A ☺️
Refreshing to listen to a young Christian family. God bless
Would love to see a series on handling finances in marriage!
I’m literally crying tears from laughing. -things got mildly inappropriate. With the saxophone music 😆🤣🤣 I’m trying to hard not to bust out laughing as it’s after midnight and my family is sleeping. The zoom in when Zach said he never read the book and the mic flashback. Oh my goodness. I need to remember I can’t at watch your videos late at night because I have to hold in the cackles.
You guys are so genuinely amazing and I thank God for you and that you have this channel. Delilah I loved your honest at the beginning about how God is showing you where you need to work on yourself by these questions. I love when He gently teaches us through others. He’s used you many times for me. You’re so humble and meek. The Godly attributes I aspire to be. 🤍
ARMO... Love it! If you could think of an R word to follow that, it could be marriage ARMOR. Do my husband and I have your permission to incorporate this into our pastoral pre-marriage coaching material? Argue. Resolve. Move On. Restore, refocus, repent, rejoice? Lots of R words one could use! I think the amount of wisdom you guys have for people so young is inspirational and admirable. Gives older people like me home for the future!
Delilah, I love this video! Especially love what you had to say about praying for your husband. I've been married for a year and a half. A friend recommended the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartain, and it is REALLY good. Just thought I would share for the wives reading the comments. The book is very eye opening 🙂
I know a lot of people are reacting rn 😬 but Delilah does say in the video that Zach respects her when she’s not feeling well enough for sex. Maybe rewatch that answer before reacting lol
Gosh you guys are the best! Thank you for showing us what a healthy relationship looks like! Sending love from Slovakia!
I'm from Slovakia too! ☺️
I thought this video was really cute! I get what you meant about not being in the mood but trying to “serve” each other anyway at times. I don’t personally view it as a bad thing in situations where you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that your SO would never take advantage of or guilt you into an uncomfortable situation. I liked seeing you guys act like a typical, goofy married couple! 🥸
I am DYING!! Zach is just too hilarious! Way to go Zach… preferably nothing! 🤣🤣🤣
My husband and I aren't religious, but I love these. 💕
Great video. Sadly I know/knew so many couples who aren't honest about finances, one withholds intimacy, don't share load of chores or childcare fairly, one resents the other (for years in some cases), focus on children and ignore/neglect their partner, withhold allowing the other to be their best, etc. My husband and I made a pact to always speak up when the other does something we don't like - likewise we let the other know when we they do something they like !
Loved this! YES to a budgeting series 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I love seeing this fearless, normal open honesty from u guys. Makes us all know, we r all the same in some ways. Great job not holding back 🥰 proud of u both xxoo love n support from Red Deer💗
I absolutely love watching you guys laugh together! Show us more of these kinds of videos!! I love these.❤️❤️
I dont think sex should be an obligation. No one should do anything they don't want to but I do think if someone isn't into it maybe be open to other things rather than penetration. There's sooooo much more you can do. And sometimes you can be in the mood to be put in the mood.
Unless the sex is sooo bad and the other person is very selfish ...its ok to just say no thanks. 😂
i dont know about some of these answers to some questions lol but if you are happy then you are happy!
Oh my goodness the dating memories got me choked up, y’all are so cute. I love how honest you are about working on bettering yourself for your partnership, something I am too working on as well. I have a question; how do you work through hurt or past hurt that your actions have caused your partner?
I think its important to move on, just as Zach mentioned. Don't harbour a grudge (against your partner). Forgive yourself - noone is perfect !!
Thank you for always creating such uplifting, wholesome, and honest content 💕
You guys are sooooo cute🥰thanks for sharing all these aaaaand William is just the icing on the cake! He is super super sweet❤️
I felt like putting this out there because not everyone's sex life looks the same, not everyone's boundaries or needs are the same, and because of that you and I might both have a great, really healthy relationship with sex in our partnerships and yet it might look completely different.
I've gone through times with health issues where sex was not enjoyable and my partner never wanted sex in that time.
he says he wouldn't properly enjoy it if he had to think the entire time that it wasn't making me feel good.
A big part of sex for the both of us especially when it comes to what turns us on is knowing you're making your partner feel really good, and if that's not part of it, then it feels just off and we'd both not be in the mood if he thought it wasn't completely enjoyable for the other.
I sometimes feel really guilty for not wanting sex when I'm having bad health spells and my partner always reminds me that he doesn't want sex if not to make us both feel good and that's a big part of what makes sex so good for him, so without that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it properly either.
I mean, I guess on a completely physical level it would still feel good for him, but if a big part that turns you on is missing, it's just not that appealing?
I personally think sex and physical intimate moments and closeness in general is very important to both of us, but when one of us isn't enjoying sex, and there's so many other ways of feeling intimate (I know many people on social media use being intimate to mean sex because censorship but that's not what I mean right now) and enjoying each others closeness, it's just not a sacrifice.
Maybe that's because we both want and need sex when we're feeling healthy, and so it's not something we have to talk each other into. It's not something we expect of each other, it's something we both equally really enjoy with each other.
I also don't think I'm not taking care of my partner's needs if I'm not up to it physically for a period of time because we both know that it's temporary and that after it's over, I'll want and really really enjoy it again, and then it's just better for the both of us.
I'm rambling a lot and you probably really don't want to know all this, but yea.
I'm absolutely not saying this because I want to insinuate that people who want sex even when a partner isn't completely capable of enjoying it properly should feel bad for wanting it.
I'm however saying thsi because I want to put it out there that you don't have to feel bad for not wanting it for periods of times. There's many many people out there, men and women (there seems to be the strange idea out there that all men feel one way and all women another but that's not true) who will absolutely not mind.
Who will not be disappointed or annoyed or sad, they just won't mind.
Sex is beautiful and amazing if you aren't doing it out of an idea that you owe it to your partner. If it doesn't feel that way for you, talk to your partner about it, try new things, change things up. It's okay to want that. It's okay to not always have the same libido throughout phases of your life, especially if there's something big your body is going through.
Guilt and sex are two things that shouldn't go together. You shouldn't feel guilty when you think about or have sex, and you never should do it out of feeling guilty.
I also want to make it clear that to me, there's a difference between sex physically not feeling good or making you feel really bad emotionally, and yet you still do it because you feel like you owe it to your partner, versus not being turned on in the moment but your partner is, and you choose to go with it and then you end up really enjoying it. What I said before was all for the scenario where it really doesn't feel good for you, whether that be physically or emotionally.
I think it can be really beautiful to choose to serve each other in that way and give each other the intimacy the other one actively craves at the moment even tho you wouldn't have been turned on otherwise. I actually think it's not very realistic to only ever want sex when both people, independently from each other, get really in the mood. often, the mood comes once you start getting into it. And that's a good thing. Of course, if you're really not in the mood, you can always say no, but i feel like often one partner starts wanting it and the other decides to go along with it and then really enjoys it. Or one partner thinks about it and even tho it wasn't on your mind, you know you'll enjoy it and you also enjoy making your partner feel good and that's the reason you say yes.
There's a very big difference between not having been in the mood but getting in the mood with your partner, and feeling like you owe it to your partner even tho you know it really won't feel good at all.
We don’t come from religious households so when my partner heard what you said about ‘serving’ each other in regards to sex, he instantly turned to me and was shocked! I know what you mean though, I definitely think it just came across wrong and what you decide with you partner consensually is your right and life!♥️
Also I really love it when Zak’s in your vids, you’re both such a funny duo! I was in stitches at some parts 🤣 Happy 2022 ♥️♥️
This whole video was just perfect 🤣 the jokes and the advice - so good 👏
you two are wonderfully playful with each other! Sweet couple!
The way you said "he's my best friend" 🥺💜
Honey...We all feel inadequate in our couple because we all have issues to work on. we have personnal issues to work on and we have couple issues to work on and we also have family issues to work on...we are all in the same boat haha! Don't be too harsh on yourself
Zach reminds me so much of my husband. Love you two together!