Sorry for not posting for a while! I had to focus on my mental health and family for a little bit but I'm gearing up for some exciting videos in August! Hope you are doing well
As someone who is even younger than that, it’s so f*cking easy to not say slurs, and I can also live with being called racist randomly because I know I’m not racist.
As a psychology student, we all already hate the tiktok people making short videos on a topic that’s way more complex than a 1 minute video can explain. It’s even worse when people like OnlyJayus would take random theories/research papers from only one study from the internet and claim it as truthful, when it’s clear some of those studies were done to specifically benefit a company.
fr i keep telling people not to talk about serious topics if you aren’t a professional because psychology is just a bunch of separate info put together that shows a bigger picture, and it’s hard to boil it down if you don’t understand it as a whole. so people either get the wrong idea or fill in the gaps on their own. all of my comments are horrifically long because you have to explain everything thoroughly to show how it relates to the point. like this is why this happens, which leads to this, and connects with this to form this. and then still, it could be completely wrong cause psychology is such a new science, and we don’t really know why most of this happens lmao-
eh, DEFINITELY not the worst psychology shit going on TikTok, massive disease fakers out there, also if anyone is actually interested they will investigate it. As a history student I don't mind the short fun history facts videos, in fact THEY ARE AMAZING, they get more people interested, true or false, and there's even history in false (ayy Bloch momence) so yeh
For an average person, it’s very hard to differentiate baseless myths and supported data, especially when you’re recalling old information you’ve learned a while back. For the longest time, I believed that coffee and tea dehydrate you when that’s simply not true. And that’s all because years back, somebody must’ve posted about it and my brain didn’t bother to fact check it. Or if I did, the source i fact checked from was false. You can hold wrong info for many years just because somebody wanted internet clout.
@@SolangeAbri except a lot of them are young people or they’re people suffering from something else. A lot of times these “disease fakers” are just trying to find out what’s wrong with them, why they’re suffering and how to “fix” it, and when you’re desperately trying to find this out, anything will do. Having these tiktokers either throwing random “aspects” of mental health diseases, or “ways to cure it” can be really troubling for those people, they can either misdiagnose themselves and start believing that this mental health problem os presented in specific ways, so they must adapt to fit into that category or the “cure” might not work for them and actually end up causing more inner suffering, the whole idea that “why isn’t this working for me when it’s working for everybody else?”.
So back in the day when Jayus was only on yt I got an Instagram dm from them asking me to check out their channel, and I used to follow their audacity tutorial quite often. So weird to see them now that they’ve both made it big online and have fallen from grace.
Yeah, it's not real engagement. TikTokers aren't legitimate celebrities and have basically no traction outside of that cesspit of a site. You never heard of her prior to this because she isn't really famous, at least not in the traditional sense.
Ghosting people because of ADHD is a real thing. I’ve personally ghosted a couple dozen people by accident in my lifetime because of my ADHD. BUT each time when I’ve realized what I’ve done, I feel terrible and make profuse apologies and amends if possible/appropriate. The guilt and remorse is overwhelming. I could completely understand OJ ghosting by accident, but she should have been scrambling to apologize and collab as soon as she realized what had happened.
I am in that boat, I genuinely forget to reply all the time, and I like this response. But all the same, work needs to be treated as a higher priority, and I don't know, it feels like they make their work a priority with their content and sponsors - it's a bit too.... convenient I think.
@@SpiritOfMarowak What I find suspicious is that there was no attempt to make amends, especially considering that the whole reason OJ was in this position in the first place was to make amends for something else. It is very easy for ADHD to back you into a corner, but when the issue in question is having offended a marginalized group, you can't just stay in that corner forever.
Ha I legit wrote something for someone the other day I was like it’s 500 just an off under I said I mean I was really just going to charge 50 but they bought it the hustle is really with the ticktock stars
@@sfr2107 that's about what I've come up with, and I've never been a dedicated fan or anything. It just seems like no matter what she does, it's the wrong thing. At least the controversy, even if manufactured, brings views.
ADHD can absolutely make you forget things like responding to emails, etc. and I empathize with Bella on that front. But, it’s still your responsibility to deal with the consequences of not responding and screaming and shouting about it when someone calls you out is absolutely not the way to deal with it.
Same but I feel like she was using it as an excuse and didn't forget because having that much hate being on you would have to make you constantly anxious and keep you up at night thinking about it. I think she was just pushing it off and pushing it off not wanting to do the collab and then was shocked when that action had consequences
I have severe ADHD and it has caused a lot of disruption in my life. That’s on me. Are there times when understanding from folks can go a long way? Yes. But at the end of the day, I’m responsible for my actions. They weren’t ‘sorry’ or worried enough about it or they’d have set every alarm, put a list somewhere they’d see it, and checked their messages constantly. The thing with ADHD is you don’t just forget things- you also hyperfocus on other things, especially when you’re in ‘trouble’. It’s all you can think about until it’s fixed. Or you literally hide from it until you think it’s gone away. You can compartmentalize things and legit forget about stuff that stresses you, but I highly doubt they did this as a creator with something that was affecting their career. It sounds like a combo of them thinking if they just apologized and moved on, this would be a blip on the radar and they could move on. When backed into a corner, instead of apologizing again and fixing it, they started lashing out. But it shouldn’t have been held to another person that they couldn’t get their shit together long enough to respond to an email about something ‘so important to them’ they made multiple videos and ‘cried’ about it.
exactly. executive dysfuntion is a thing and it's a pain in the ass to deal with (I'm neurodivergent, I have adhd, I forget shit and procrastinate, too) esp if you add stress, but with that track record and that behavior? it sounds very insincere. as adults we all gotta take responsibility for our behavior and learn some skills, esp with such a pledge to do better.
Surely she has a team to remind her on certain things. I ,have ADHD I, put everything that's important in my phone so I, don't forget anything I, have to do. No one is perfect we all make mistakes in life. But we have to learn from our mistakes take accountability & try to do better. Just my own personal opinion on the matter
Forgetfulness IS a symptom of ADHD but I feel like it’s a convenient excuse here. Like Gabbie Hannah, I think they’re using ADHD as a shield against criticism. That’s unfair to other people with ADHD because there is already a lot of misinformation and negative connotations.
yeah as someone also with ADHD, if something is that important i will not forget it. girl gets exposed for being racist and says 'oops i forgot about that one lol'
Also I don't care about nor accept the old adage hurt people, hurt people. If anything those people are wayyyy worse the people who originally harmed them, because they KNOW how badly it feels to be hurt and bullied and rejected and yet they turn around and do it to someone else?! Not only does it make them a hypocrite they KNOW exactly what type of pain they're inflicting on others. THEY WANT TO INFLICT PAIN ON OTHERS. They aren't inflicting pain out of ignorance, or selfishness, or a lack of empathy, THEY WANT OTHERS TO SUFFER BECAUSE THEY HAD TO SUFFER. Those kinds of people are the true monsters. There are plenty of people who have been through exactly what Isabella had and plenty of people who have experienced even worse, yet the vast majority don't turn around and start inflicting pain and hurt knowingly on others. She's a f****** monster and so is anyone else who tries to use their past as an excuse or justification for why they harm other people.
@@Rebberfoon uhhh I hope your joking?? Because if not... bro it doesn't matter how forgetful you are you're not going to forget to NOT be a racist pos. You either are a racist POS or you are not. There's no in between. Good people don't turn around and suddenly forget that being a racist isn't okay. Like wtf
"i can be ableist because i have ADHD" well that's...uncomfortable. you don't speak for every neurodivergent person, and despite being both physically and mentally disabled, I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable shaming others for their symptoms. not to defend jayus' actions, I just think that person was also in the wrong.
exactly. i am disabled and even as a schizophrenic person myself i have not knowingly participated in ableism and im working on to fully eliminate my stigmas against people who have the same condition as me. So the excuse "i cant be ableist bc i am neurodivergent" is soo stupid. specially considering that they straight up joked abt stealing a disabled person's wallet.
Not exactly the same but I used to regurgitate a lot of tranphobic stuff before I accepted that I was actually trans. It was nothing but self hatred but that doesn't make it ok. People need to stop using identities and diagnosis as defections
Yuuuup, I’m autistic and ADHD, and like every neurodivergent person is different and their symptoms show and interact in different ways. His comment made me so…itchy? Like, there’s so much hate towards people with ADHD already, we don’t need people with ADHD adding to that hate. Also, memory issues is literally one of the biggest symptoms. Forgetfulness, disorganisation, being late to things… literally the first three things every psychologist I’ve personally spoken to goes over first when discussing it
He wasn't shaming Jayus for having the symptom, but more for using it as an excuse. That's how I took it, & how I've seen other people act when a bad person using their disorder as an excuse for their shitty behaviour
Exactly - you being a part of a community does not exclude you from being able to contribute to harmful rhetoric surrounding it. Ableism is systemic and is often exhibited unknowingly. Also, all of our experiences are different, so something that may be ableist towards someone may not even occur to someone else who is also disabled/neurodivergent/etc. Our diagnosis is not a shield and does not mean that we don't need to do the same work in being better that everyone else does.
Not to defend Jayus specifically, but wow do I hate it when people say, "Well I have X disorder and /I/ don't experience Y symptom." Like... cool? That doesn't mean that other people with that condition don't have that experience. I have ADHD (with a few comorbidities) and it makes _me_ extremely forgetful. There's obviously evidence that Jayus was lying, but on the face of it, ADHD can and often does cause memory problems. I guess I just hate it when higher-functioning people with a certain disorder question the lived experiences of lower-functioning people with that disorder. It's extremely ableist (and happens to be a specific point of trauma for me). Edit: Some people have mentioned that functioning labels are outdated/ableist, and after doing some reading I agree with that, especially in the context of ASD. I don't know the correct terminology, but I do NOT mean to reference people's intellectual/communication abilities. I am talking about how difficult someone with a disorder/disability finds day-to-day activities. Anyway, I apologize to anybody I may have offended with those terms! LMK if there are better/more accurate ones I can replace them with.
Same. It's well-documented that it IS a valid symptom and I experience it as well. I have comorbidities as well, but I don't experience all the possible symptoms of those and don't discount people who claim they do.
I hate that you are able to be diabled as long as you act as abled person. Time blidness, rejaction sensitivity, proscanization.... All adhd. They messed up big time but people complaining hoe able and disabled they are
Thank you, forgetfulness is even in the diagnostic criteria (under inattentiveness) so it is kinda frustrating seeing people say that forgetfulness has nothing to do with ADHD (now obviously not the case with Jayus since they were lying)
My biggest struggle is my bipolar disorder and I relate to this on a spiritual level. My comorbidities make my behavior atypical and makes me resistant to meds, and my family doesn't really believe in behavioral health 🙃 the ableist gaslighting too real. Edit to add, most of my family meets the criteria for bipolar disorder 🤦♀️
same i dislike them because of their false facts (the alexandria thing made me giggle its an old tumblr joke) i dont think they're a horrible person for making mistakes and trying to damage control especially as a neurodivergent person hate is really hard to deal with
That doesn’t excuse their racism ofc but forgetfulness is absolutely a symptom of adhd and I find it infuriating when people online try to immediately discredit someone’s diagnosis just because their disorder doesn’t present in exactly the same way
I have adhd and autism and if my schedule is chaotic and I am stressed, I do NOT accept additional things I have to try to remember. When you have adhd it is important to learn your body, learn your limits, learn your strengths. But also? She’s a grown adult and should have coping mechanisms by now. She fucked up BIG TIME and either could have been honest she didn’t have the time yet to do the collab, OR she could have made the effort to remember by creating MULTIPLE failsafes including having someone to be accountable for them.
true crime creators do this a lot I think to stir up drama, as in "how ~convenient~ that you'd claim to hear voices" and then the creator will talk about how "if you REALLY had schizophrenia ----" when, as a schizotypal person, it's completely obvious that they're truly ill but someone needing help is just not as conjecture-worthy and no nuance hate-able as the idea of someone lying about illness i guess
What I don't like about public apologies is that A. People are forced into doing it which makes it insincere B. People will sit up there and criticize the apology even though we all know it's forced C. We can't tell how sincere it is bc the people who criticize apologies already influenced our own decision to forgive people.
It depends. If what went down happened on social media, then social media is where the apology should be accessible. Before I got older and started having more self respect for myself this would happen where someone did something cruel to me on social media, and then only apologized in person. It’s a way to keep manipulating. You’re not good enough for them to apologize publicly, you’re not worthy of people knowing this person wronged you. The reason most of these youtuber and TT apologies get drama is because they aren’t genuine. A genuine apology follows up with actual change and also with ZERO expectation that the apology is accepted, and to accept the consequences of your past actions regardless of the apology being accepted. You have to be very emotionally intelligent to genuinely apologize.
So true!! I wonder if there’s a way to change this paradigm… maybe giving people more time and space before apologizing so they can learn/ discover and be more sincere, or something..
honestly i wish people would learn to handle conflict in private instead of using it as content to their impressionable fans but hey. guess this is why i never have much followers
@@cruelworldhappymind It would be the ideal but in a world of instantaneity, people would keep harrassing the creator at fault for a response or an apology. People forgot the concept of wait and patience when drama is up
To add, people will always criticize an apology. People will say “why did you wait so long?” Or “did you even take time to think about what you did?” “Why didn’t you make a video?” “Why didn’t you post on this or this or this platform?” “Why didn’t you make an official written apology?” Sometimes it is obvious when the apology is insincere and these types of questions should be asked, but it’s becoming so common lately with anyone and everyone apologizing. People will find any reason to not accept an apology no matter what is said or how many times the person apologizes, which is the most fucked up part of “cancel culture” and drama online. OH MY GOD, and people always force influencers to apologize TO THE PUBLIC about drama happening within a group of people (ex: Dixie and Charlie drama with their chef in a RUclips video). It’s honestly just annoying at this point.
So I was homeless for 2 years, and I had to panhandle to survive. I had a group of teenage boys come up to me and they took a bunch of pictures pretending to put money in my cup, then after they were done, one of them said to me "so you're disabled?"(it was on my sign that I was waiting to be on disability) and after I said yes, another one of them grabbed my cup and they all ran. This was in like 2018, so far before Isabella was big. But in my opinion, it goes to show how the general public think of disabled people(easy targrts) especially homeless disabled people.
Oh my goodness that’s so horrible. I hope that you are doing well now. We as a society need to do so much better. It breaks my heart that people can be so cruel.
god grief im glad you're out of that situation. I always say to people who goes 'no way people are that bad!' 'Its not that people are kind, its just that you never been low enough for them to consider you inferior and treat you however they want'. People are horrible, im so sorry you had to experience that.
I was called a “n- lover” by a neighbor, and lemme tell you that the fear that it put in me, and my African American partner… it’s literally indescribable. I had a full blown panic attack, one that I had to seek emergency medical intervention for. I didn’t leave the apartment for weeks, my husband was so angry that he threw up. There’s no excuse to call ANYONE anything like that.
Bella was right that it is the most disgusting thing that anyone could ever call another person. It is so scary I cannot believe that so much hate exists to this day. I know your partner feared for their life.
It's inexcusable, I get the frustration from both sides. There's plenty of white people out there that are sick and tired of black people blaming them for everything, then wanting a seat at the table. I had this conversation one time with a black female coworker, you can't just see it from one side, theres plenty of white people that are not racist, they are just sick of the constant blaming bullshit.
@@yeahyeahwowman8099 Neither myself nor the original commenter blamed a white person for anything. No one but the original commenter knows if a white person said that. Could have been literally anybody of any race.
I literally forget I have a gag reflex until I read things like that. I can’t wrap my head around how a person is able to feel so much hatred in their heart that they’d say something like that to another person. It hurts my heart imagining how you felt after that, im sorry some people are so nasty 😢❤
A lot of recent “influencers” rise to fame always reminds me of what Markiplier said at one point. Along the lines of, We are never meant to socialize on such a massive scale and when a huge influx of people start following you, you are never prepared for it. In no way is it a good thing to have a huge following overnight because it changes so much of your perspective. Mark has always had a humble mindset despite striving to be out there with his creativity and it’s a lesson I think we can learn from his experience.
Agreed, it's very obvious with many, especially young creators (16-20) that get caught up in hate and drama lately, because they don't know how to handle the attention of fans and indifferent/hating people as well. Makes me kinda sad, because some people catch a lot of heat for honest mistakes, leading them to probably regret what was their dream at some point. Or like the D'Amelios (I'm not a fan, but drew gooden made an awesome video): they get famous and have their life planned out and stolen. Mark is a great example of someone handling himself, even though his fame grew slower and trying to give great tips to smaller creators! Adore him for that
its odd. when I was a kid, I would panic if 3 people knew about something I did or said, especially if it was me acting the fool. Today, kids will document and record the most ludicrous, damaging things they could ever conceive, and then broadcast it to the world. literally, the world. To follow them forever. This is unprecedented in the history of human behavior and societal development. Then to top it off, these are kids.. They are at the apex of development identity formation. This is a brutal cocktail. and we wonder why some kids are committing suicide for more likes. The invasion already happened under our noses and I just watched multiple generations get their childhood completely sucked away and blacked out - never to return. , Yet sadly they will be haunted by the electronic ghost of every failure they put out there.. its just.. profound sadness
There’s a silver lining. Until we had this technology we had covertly hateful people in our lives, only seeing the image of them they wanted us to see. The image cultivated for you specifically so that you don’t know their truth.
I find myself saying often when reminicing about some antics as a teen "Thank GOD there weren't cell phones back then" lol turning 18 in 2000 I was one of the last generations to be able to say that lol >
Exactly. Im 31 and I’m so grateful I had the internet but not social media like it is today. I can’t imagine the pressure. And for what? For fake online relationships. I dont even want to bring kids into this world for them to have to deal with so much worse than I ever did
@@alexamandes8872 Same. I'm 29 and we had Myspace and Facebook in jr high/high school but we also had 250 texts per month. Lol. We are the last ones who got to grow up without "the internet" as it exists for kids today. This whole situation is honestly just awful. I'm so incredibly sad for the kids, but also for a lot of older adults whose lives are certainly worsened by social media. Not to mention the societal problems generated by the internet. I ditched the socials except RUclips where I keep my interactions limited -- like responding in agreeable with your comment here. I NEVER interact negatively with others on the internet and it's much better this way. Wishing you and yours a day full of gratitude and health.
I was so sketched out by Jayus from day 1. As a psych student whose special interest has been psychology for years, the way they were boiling down incredibly complex psychology content until it was pretty much meaningless and contributed to stigma really bothered me. At first, their videos didn’t seem to contain anything factually incorrect, it was closer to lies by omission, but it still felt super clickbait-y and really bad for perpetuating stigma (referring to their videos on “five WEIRDEST mental disorders!”). I didn’t have any concrete reasons for that sketched-out feeling, so I assumed it wasn’t a huge deal and I was just being too sensitive. But honestly? If you’re comfortable getting your clout from stigmatizing real mental disorders and miscommunicating complex scientific concepts that worsen the public perception that psychology is pseudoscience, i honestly think it’s not too “crazy” to assume you might not be a super compassionate/well-rounded person.
Yup yup!! My undergrad degree is in psych, and my masters will be in professional counseling. There are no "psychology facts." And it bothers me that professionals aren't listened to anymore, but a 10 second video made by someone with no education in the field is taken seriously.
While I don’t have any special backgrounds such as any dedicated people here, I would like to share my opinion.The moment I saw OnlyJayus I felt very uncomfortable and even weirded out. I couldn’t put my finger on it but somehow every time I scrolled past her videos I just got annoyed. I figured it was another psychology trick but I never knew. Finally, around 2020 I deleted Tiktok for the simple reason of being busy and needing more storage space. But from there she only exploded even more (RUclips, Insta, etc.) , and without knowing I followed their (what I could dish out as) S/O. I didn’t get any weird vibes whatsoever ( not even knowing they were together until months later). Even going as far as finding them on Tiktok years ago and thinking this was a cool creator. But even then Jayus gave me the “rotten meat” vibe. Meaning when I saw her she looked fine and cooked but digging deeper could mean being rotten. If anything like that makes sense.
I am 1yr away from my PhD in Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior and I'm with you. It bothers me so much.. 10yrs in school to understand and study yet people like this can just say, "Well I read a few paragraphs so I know!" Keep up the good work because we need more like you in this field to fight against these types!!
The racism apology is absolutely bs lmao, calling someone a “n*g*** lover” is unforgivable in my book. You don’t pull something so severe out of nowhere. I have ADHD and I forget really, REALLY important things, I don’t take criticism well, and I say insensitive things I regret on a regular basis, so I think some of their explanations make sense. However, things said in anger always come from a genuine place.
Yet there are well over 100,000 black people on social media who make anti-white racist comments daily, and idiots like you have no problem with it. You're only against racism when white people do it, right?
i have lost friendships because i have said things i have no knowledge of. i feel like it’s something i would never say, so i understand why people would be mad about it. i just can never remember what i’ve done wrong.
They had already apologized to the person way before the leaks . Through Text and voicemail . The other person accepted the apology and let it stay in the pass . Not only that the years between the conversation and before the leak ,they went to therapy to better themselves and become a better person . The things they said were harmful we can't deny that . But they did maded an active effort to be better ,apologized and take accountability . They also tried to help other black creators ,by promoting their platform or pointing out the biases against them . It's only shitty because you can't accept, period. Any else after was because people were being too pushy on her and demanded her attention even they have other things in life .
Absolutely, I’ve had moments where I’ve thought as an adhd person “what’s the worst thing I can say right now to hurt this person.” But it’s always a character assassination, like I remember vividly calling a family member a filthy, lying cheater (because they literally did cheat😅)
I think there might be some confusion across social justice topics when it comes to "ism"'s. It's widely accepted now that black people can't be racist due to oppression and power dynamics. So when it comes to disability (another group that's routinely discriminated against), It seems many people draw sort of a logic parallel and think that disabled people can't themselves be ableist . Just a thought.
@@kr3642 Disabled people aren't a monolith. There are disabilities which face way more stigma and systemic oppression than others. And there is also a lot of internalized ableism. And we should not forget that colorism is a thing, so black people and poc do have a form on skin based discrimination within the group itself.
@@kr3642 well there's a difference between blaming something on an illness and explaining why it happened. Bella blamed it on her illness, instead of saying sorry it's my fault, and then explain why it's her fault. An illness can be the cause of something, that's not the problem. The problem is when someone uses it as an excuse, true or not. It's still your fault regardless of the illness because the illness is apart of you. You still did it lol. That's where she went wrong
Why is racism just a quirky trait in most of these large creators backgrounds rather than a warning sign? Is being racist a how to guide to becoming famous?! It's ridiculous. Her words were intentional and disgusting and it really shows how prevalent and insidious racism is within the United States. It also shows how "normal" it as well since people.. just...brush it aside? It's a disgusting character flaw that has lead to centuries worth of brutal killings and torture. Why is being racist being treated like going through puberty for these large creators?🙄😬
I was born in the early 90’s so I’m older or around the same age as most of these influencers. I also grew up in the Deep South definitely around the older generations who are still closeted racists…I can 100% guarantee I have NEVER said that word. Ever. I never tolerated anyone around me saying that word, in fact I never tolerated racism period. You’re right, it seems like every creator has said something racist publicly in the past and then they thinking blaming it on “the way things were back then” is their go to excuse. But even if it was 10 years ago, 15 years ago, even 20 years ago it wasn’t ok then either! The civil rights movement was decades before this time period so using that excuse today is a lie. I know where I grew up we all knew that word was wrong but kids still said it to be edgy. We need to stop excusing these situations like these people lived in the 50s-70s.
Exactly. And it's so weird how many times people try to wave off creators having racist pasts like disrespecting minorities is some kind of phase all teenagers go through or something. And it's always the people who'd never be affected by those slurs or racist remarks that are the first to forgive and forget this kind of behaviour.
I also dont know why everybody expects everybody to be all the way educated and not have made 1 fucking mistake in their entire life and also how everybody on the internet thinks that people behave exactly the same way they did when they were 16 or 17 even after being a full grown adult and having more experience growing up. Because hey, humans never change do they? And theres just absolutely no fucking possibility of any kind of growth EVER happening right?
There was a short period where gen z and younger millennials thought it was "funny" and edgy to say racist stuff. It moved to nazi sympathizing then communism.
ive binged watches almost all of your recent videos and im OBSESSED with your calmness and clear standpoint on certain topics. it really makes you even more enjoyable to watch. have a great day!
This is a very fair and balanced look at OnlyJayus. You revealed the inexcusable dark side of OnlyJayus, yet made made me feel compassion due to the situation they got themselves into undoubtedly caused by severe childhood instability and the damage that can only be caused by having a religious zealot as a parent. If there were cameras or a permanent ledger of things I said and did when I was 17, I'd be immediately committed to a psych ward.
i’ve never understood the excuse of people saying that they said a slur “because it was the most hateful thing they could think of and they were coming from a place of anger”. idc how angry you get, escalating to the point where you decide to use racism or any other form of oppression just because you’re annoyed is unforgivable and disgusting. it just doesn’t make any sense to me. edit: you guys can give all the explanations and possible reasons for why people might do this as you want in the replies, but i truly do not care for them sorry
I've gotten pretty angry sometimes throughout my life, never once even in the blindest of rage did using a slur ever cross my mind - it's gotta be something already floating around in there for it to pop out like that. "I was so angry it just kinda happened" yeah? Why is that the biggest insult you jump to to begin with? Lol
It's unfortunate but we're all human and there's a lot more unforgivable acts of violence than yelling a slur. Slurs should never be used, but it's a forgivable act if the person has shown growth.
Tbh I’m mixed and if the person who said the slur has truly showed remorse and growth, I believe it is forgivable. In my opinion if we never forgive and allow change, when will there be actual change?
I love 3 things about you. 1: you do so much research and truly try to show all sides to an issue 2: I've never heard you judge anyone 3: You are one of the kindest people I see on here.
If these videos prove anything it's to keep an open mind to these views changing, it is kind of scary ngl if you knew any of the creators she talks about back before they blew up you'd be able to say the same. Let's hope they are a real one.
it's very nice to see her put forth an empathetic yet thorough perspective. it certainly puts her apart from other creators that prefer to capitalize on the controversy
Jayus reminds me of Gabbie Hanna. The actions aren't always the worst, but the responses make everything worse. I think that leads to an entitlement in both of them that only leads to more bad decisions.
Forgetting things is a huge part of ADHD and I believe is a valid excuse for not getting back to aunt Karen. HOWEVER, as someone who also has ADHD, I think it’s important to take responsibility for when our forgetfulness affects others. I think it was wrong that Bella used Karen calling her out as an excuse to cancel the collaboration. I truly think that if they had reached out to Karen and been like “hey, I’m sorry for not getting back to you, my ADHD can make it hard for me to keep on top of my messages, but I’m still interested and let’s talk about how we can move forward with this collab” I think this whole thing could have been resolved a lot quicker/better
Yeah, wholeheartedly agree w/you on this. I have extreme forgetfulness due to ADHD & not having meds to help w/ the forgetfulness or the brain fog. We can't control what all we forget and when, but we can control how we apologize & handle the situation when it impacts others.
It was the blatantly false characterization of ADHD as a neurological disorder for me. ADHD is not a neurological disorder. Whether it actually exists on its own is a major point of contention for many neuroscientists, psychological professionals, and medical professionals. A neurological disorder’s existence is not up for debate. I have a diagnosis of ADHD without the hyperactivity (ADD is not a diagnosis anymore) and even I am like but is it really a solo diagnosis? It doesn’t exist outside the US unless it exists where pharmaceutical companies reign. More importantly, it is not seen in people who don’t have histories of childhood adversity. That’s a ton of words for: they shouldn’t have labeled it a “neurological disorder that literally makes me forget things” and they definitely should not have used it as an excuse. At most it’s an explanation
agreed. i’ve been so busy lately and when i see someone message me, i’ll think “i’ll check that later” but then forget about it for three days. but i think her ADHD is an excuse for her poor time management, not a legitimate reason. almost everyone else with ADHD is responsible enough to maintain relationships & work/school
honestly one of my biggest gripes with OnlyJayus that is a subjective one is the way that they deliver their content. it all reeks of someone who always thinks they know more than you, and it seems like they kinda do. they’re like that kid in elementary school that was always trying to answer every single question and be the best at everything. like they want all the attention centered on them. it’s honestly just very irritating to me
Those aren’t even remotely close. One is a child navigating school and just trying to participate and do what they’re expected to do. The other is an extremely insecure woman who needs a LOT of therapy.
@@DW-yh2xg hmm jelouse of a bland racist women with literall zero personality other than a 5 min hack video who constantly lies and constantly is obsessive about having anyone and everyone accept and like her … hmm no no I’m good
The "joke" about service dogs made me so so irate. My dad is a disabled vet and has a service dog. I could never imagine somebody STEALING from him while in crisis. Everything else she said made me so angry but that was by far the icing on the cake.
I feel a catch 22 from the adhd thing. While being forgetful and having time blindness ARE adhd symptoms, the fact that there was proof from the woman that she DID message them more than once, shows it’s just being used as a “excuse my bad behavior because of my neurodivergence even if my actions hurt people.” But ALSO the fact of people being “I have adhd and you can’t say that is a problem” feel that other people are doing is also bad?? Because everyone experiences adhd symptoms differently and at varying levels of life altering. I can’t explain this well,
Thank you! I have ADHD and there's a lot of ADHDers who act perfect and like they never make mistakes or have ever shown antisocial or problematic behaviour.
Adhd also presents differently in each gender because of societal standards and expectations, so masking is different for everyone. I can forget things within 5 minutes, or remember every detail 10 years later, it truly depends on that situation in the moments they happen, as well as the 3 Ws (who, where, and why).. jayus may have used it as a blanket statement, but as you said, adhd presents differently for everyone.. if jayus truly forgot (which is very likely) then it's probably because it didn't have a big enough serotonin effect in the brain and didn't keep the mind engaged long enough to be "locked in".. (this is just my personal experiences with adhd, and being around fellow adhders)
This is how I felt too!! Like I would totally do the same thing! If I don’t reply back as soon as someone messages me I completely forget about it until the next time I open the message app lol
@@simsgirlgem sure but I’m talking about that dude that was like “I have adhd and they’re wrong” like, that’s not helpful. He could’ve said “I understand that is a symptom of adhd but they should not have reacted the way that they did, etc”
@@koszachtyiswawole I apologize! My kid goes by they/them. I should have known better. Thank you for pointing that out. Editing now. Much love and have a wonderful day!
nobody is excusing racism tho. Also I bet you prolly tortured a bug when you were a kid, does that mean you still do it? nah, people grow up and get better morale, does she seem to have issues managing stress and criticism? yeah, but most of the quirky gay ppl do that too. before anyone starts I'm gay af, nobody's gayer than me hoe, but it's annoying when ppl hyperfocus the same problem on someone just because they are more privileged, both are the same sins.
Seeing how people reacted to them explaining their ADHD causing the forgetfulness honestly worries as me as a fellow ADHDer. Whether it was true for them or not, it could so easily be true for an ADHDer. Luckily, my memory problems aren't that bad but I've forgotten incredibly important things because my brain doesn't work that way. There are definitely people who will use ADHD as an excuse, BUT you can use anything as a disingenuous excuse so maybe we shouldn't react so harshly at first.
This! When I got to this part I was kind of mad at that guy for saying every person with adhd is the same. Made me feel like crap because I legit forget important stuff so often I have anxiety about it and have post its and notes all over the place (and lose or still forget to look at the notes 😭😭😭)
@anthail THIS THIS THIS. I have ADHD & comorbities too and I really feel your comment so much. Even stuff placed purposely and directly in front of me... I lose track of. I've taken my glasses off to clean them, had them in my hand, and lost my damn mind because I forgot I was still holding them! It's miserable enough to go through forgetting a variety of important things on a daily basis, but then to be told by larger society or ND folks w/different or less severe symptoms that it's impossible to forget things if they're "truly important" or we're "lazy" and all that nasty bs... It hurts to hear & be told that constantly, despite how hard we try, it's just a personal failing that our brains don't work like other folks.
As someone who has several mental health issues, i can understand where onlyjayus is coming from and feel bad for what she’s going through, but we can’t excuse the things she’s done. I hope she gets help and works to become better.
I’m no big fan of hers or anything, but a joke about robbing a special needs person with a service dog isn’t going to cause otherwise honest people to actually do it. Bad people are bad already, and will do what they do regardless. Plus, jokes like this are made by stand up comedians all the time. And I swear sometimes I wonder how much simply being female is what causes most of the backlash in contexts like this. People are way too sensitive. To the point the difference between real bigotry and jokes are blurred. The n***er lover comment was awful for sure, though. I can attest to the fact that growing up in certain parts of this country make comments like that seem less abhorrent than they really are. Not that it’s an excuse, but she was 17 and if she really was raised in a badly racists environment, she can definitely grow and change and come to understand her error.
@@TheReluctantVlogger the problem is that the thing about service dogs guiding people to their owner for help isn’t very well known. the topic needs to be talked about carefully. especially because the owner is likely UNCONSCIOUS during this. it’s a very fragile state to be in, and to know that people are joking about misusing you being in that state can be TERRIFYING
It’s one thing to forget about using the n word in a song/casually in the past. It’s another thing to forget about how you insulted someone by saying they care about black people - while using the hard r. An apology video doesn’t cover that territory.
Well it depends. Some hurt people want to attack the person that hurt them with the same hatred, and so fourth. But I understand lashing out, which is not a good excuse and just anger issue problems.
I think a big part of the group of people who do not know how to express feelings properly are people who are hurt of have been hurt in the past. When you are traumatised you react differently than your actual peraon would do if you were not. Like someone also posted here. It stopa becoming an excuse when the person is made aware of their behaviour as being wrong and then does nothing abput it
@@tiredchickpea8298 I don't think this is true. Especially in the case of raising children, it is very often that kids will internalize and regurgitate what they grow up in. Most people will behave how they were taught. Growing up in an abusive household more often leads to abusive people than growing up in a kind and compassionate household. It sounds very nice and certainly is true sometimes that people break the generational trauma and realize the abuse, but this is not the norm.
Even in her apology videos she sounds aggressive and angry that she's having to apologize at all (or at least that is how it came across to me) but it goes to what that one guy was saying about her having ulterior motives. She definitely strikes me as the type who sees themselves as a perpetual victim in any and all situations.
@@nachgeben lol I mean it could definitely be both, but I'd definitely argue that angry was the overarching theme lol what with the yelling and screaming
I think they weren't necessarily angry, just panicked and fearful. They had alot on the line at the time. But I do agree that her tone of voice could've been interpreted as such
I know that a lot of people who have ADHD have chimed in already. I just wanted to add that while Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is a part of ADHD and can be a very difficult issue to work through, the fact is just that. You have to work through it! Mental illness, trauma, addiction, even a lot of chronic illnesses are never your fault. But it is your responsibility and you are accountable for your behavior, regardless of where it stems from. It isn’t your fault if you experience RSD, it is your fault if you respond to that aggressively and lash out.
Completely agree. I struggle with rsd every single day, but i cannot act on my feelings because they’re MY feelings and other people cannot be to blame for that. It’s incredibly hard to go but you just have to push it cannot be a blanket for lashing out on people who don’t deserve it
That is a great way to put this. Yes, ADHD, Autism, trauma, and mental health issues can be an explanation for behavior, but should never be an excuse for poor behavior. It’s the individual’s responsibility to manage and react appropriately to their symptoms.
@@idontknowanymore1246 I have ADHD and type 1 diabetes. Type 1 can lead to blindness, kidney issues, and a whole lot more. It’s not my fault I got the short end of the stick with my immune system. BUT if I neglect myself and end up with complications, it is my responsibility. That’s how I look at addiction and other mental illnesses. It doesn’t mean it isn’t fair or that it’s easy. But you can’t pull a “I have (insert struggle), it’s not my fault!” card and get a pass.
It's also the other person's fault for taking from private to public for no apparent reason. Then making multiple videos shiting on you because you didn't give them your attention. I might say that Jaylus had all the reasons to lash out and be visible angry . What they did to them and ignore that they have their own personal life , struggles and a whole controversy is just disrespectful.
As someone with ADHD, if she did forget why would she then blame that creator for getting mad??? It was her fault. ADHD isn't an excuse. Whenever I forget things, I know it's MY FAULT and I don't blame other people for being hurt by that.
Forgetting something isn’t your fault, how you handle the situation is. I’m sick of people acting like memory loss itself is something you can control when it very much isn’t, the only thing that is your fault is if you don’t try to explain or make up for it. I doubt it was your intention but this comment just further spreads a message often used to blame people with disorders for their struggles.
@@Elle... ok i have adhd and i forget appointments and dates and shit like that ALL the time, but the thing is, even though its not my fault its still my responsibility, regardless if you can control it or not considering you're still effecting the other people involved. Whether you apologize or defend yourself like jayus did is what determines how you're treated about it afterwards.
@@Elle... I think you're misunderstanding my meaning. By fault, I mean my issues caused the situation. It's not saying I'm a bad person just bc I have a disability.
@@Elle... im just tired of people saying "forgetting isn't my fault" like yeah everyone knows its not your fault, i hate when thats the first thing said about a situation because its obvious. To me it always seems like a deflection.
i can only speak as a disabled person, but i can’t imagine making comments like that even as “satire” to MILLIONS of people! the world is not kind to us, and those jokes have real consequences
I had literally never heard about this person until your video appeared on my feed. But the second I saw her first angry outburst my mind immediately went back to your video about Gabbie Hannah, especially the part when they're trying to justify their words and behavior due to mental issues/trauma.
That is an interesting pattern with some people I’ve seen on the internet who lash out at others but blame it on their mental issues… and honestly, I’m not an expert in mental health so I can’t really say why that is or whether it’s wrong or right, I guess it’s just interesting!
If people would just quit giving attention and views to problematic people, the issue would resolve itself. Bringing attention to them only drives their engagement, whether it's through curious people checking out her account, or people leaving hate comments, it's engagement and they'll continue to thrive.
@@unamejames came to say this… even the most well meaning creators are bound to the algorithm and controversy gets views. Even with this video. I actually had no clue who Bella was until people started covering the controversies.
My least favourite aspect of social media and tiktok specifically is how people use one person's high profile cancellation to boost their own profile. I'm not saying that people shouldn't criticise others, but it's very obvious that drama is just blood in the water for some of these creators. No apology will ever be good enough because they don't want the drama to end, they want to drag it out as long as possible so they can keep getting those outraged clicks.
@@Lovethehumans Or if it was regulated more heavily on who was allowed on it in the general public and what was able to be posted. Freedom of speech is great and all, but our forefathers never thought in a million years that a single person could reach BILLIONS in less than a second and say anything they wanted. We've outgrown our laws and honestly, some of our freedoms. Especially since Americans seem to think they can get away with whatever they want more and more due to no accountability online. I wish people could see this correlation more, because it's very telling if you engage with people from around the world.
I really appreciate your balanced and nuanced approach to onlyjayus' "controversies". The way I see it is that NO ONE can have the life that Bella has had and be mentally okay. It can take years of therapy to unravel that much childhood trauma. And while Bella has said that they have gone through therapy, I think that their social media life only serves to undermine and undo any progress that they might have made in therapy. It's been said that having a mental illness is not your fault, but addressing it is your responsibility. Bella needs to take a cue from Bo Burnham and just walk away COMPLETELY from social media, from public life, for several years-Bo Burnham went away for five years-, and focus on growing and healing, which they have not really had a chance to do yet. Bella's outbursts are not excusable, but they are also not surprising, given Bella's personal history.
Hurt people hurt people has never sit right as an excuse for me, everyone experiences hurt at some point in their lives but we can decide to turn that hurt into a positive or let it fester as a negative. We're responsible for our own trauma and our own emotions, with or without a diagnosis, especially as a grown adult.
Also, the excuse “They had such a rough childhood” whenever someone really does horrible stuff. SO MANY of us have, and have never hurt people because of it.
You're absolutely right, and in a perfect world, everyone would try to reflect upon their response to traumatic experiences, but often that's when people are at their lowest, and it doesn't always work out like that.
@@Jay-jv8hxthank you. The truth is everyone is grey. Maybe open your eyes to yourself and your own prejudice rather than focuses on strangers and their flaws. Nobody’s perfect and that fake, forced, positivity movement doesn’t work for everyone and all types of traumas
Fully agree. ADHD symptoms can rage in how much they impede with the ability to function. For some (especially but not exclusively those with multiple comorbidities) it can render a person partially or fully disabled. Just because someone has the same disorder does not give them the excuse to be ableist. It really rubbed me the wrong way when that person said “I have ADHD so I can be ableist here” like ummm no you cannot. It’s dangerous to those who do have memory issues severely and encourages discrediting and not believing. Having memory issues does NOT automatically make them a liar and not to be trusted. I’m not defending Jayus or their actions it can be very harmful to those who do struggle with memory to speak like this especially if you are gonna call someone out for ableism in the same video maybe don’t spread ableist shit yourself. Thanks for hearing my Ted talk.
Task paralysis, time blindness, and struggling to keep up on communication are absolutely real symptoms of ADHD. But having ADHD doesn't make you the kind of person that screams their head off at people and use racial slurs. As an autistic person married to someone with ADHD, it really pisses me off how common it's becoming to use those labels to excuse terrible behavior.
For those who don't know, Jaysus went to foster care because their parents sent them to a conversion camp so fucked up that Social Services had to get involved. They have talked a little about getting abused in the foster system. This doesn't excuse their behavior but I wish more people would recognize trauma responses which their reactions to things is textbook trauma response reactions.
Im not trying to be disrespectful about their past or anythign to anyone whos been to conversion therapy but honestly who cares about their past? its not gonna change what they did and it definitely wont dispel any of what they did afterward.
@@turg4060 ??? No?? The trauma response they have displayed is reflectively trying to hurt everyone around them, and then when they leave completely freak out. Which btw is the complete opposite of my trauma response which is be a doormat and internalize everything.
So I have pretty bad ADHD, I was diagnosed in elementary school and it's disrupted my entire life. I can definitely attest to the fact that people with ADHD often have problems with object permanence, so if something is out of sight, it's also out of mind. I literally have photos of my family, and my best friends right by my bed so I remember to check in with them. I can honestly say if I didn't have pictures of them next to my bed, I would forget to check in with them for months, if not longer. The thing with ADHD though, especially in Isabellas case, is that there's lots of info and support out there to help people with ADHD live as normally as possible. For someone who literally does information based content, you'd think she'd research her own disorders and how to help them, and she would definitely know to NEVER use ADHD as an excuse for bad behavior. The more people that do that, the worse the stigma gets. We have to take ownership for our actions. I have pretty bad sensory problems, and I have melt downs pretty regularly. I never ever treat the people in my life badly during a meltdown, then just say "it's my adhd". That's insane. I remove myself and disconnect from those I love so I don't say or do anything to hurt them, and if I do get snappy or something, I'd always apologize after. But I'd actually apologize, not just say "I have ADHD. It's hard. Whoopsies" like Isabella is doing. It makes me so mad when people act like dicks, then blame it on their mental health.
THIS, I was looking for a comment like this. I get that ADHD is disruptive as fuck, and that simple stuff like eating and sleeping can be so difficult (I literally almost fainted because I had forgotten to eat so often last week), but misusing this disability to absolve bad behaviour is not the way to go. No matter the intent, you did the action, so you take the responsibility. Honestly adhd is stigmatised enough already
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 🙏 it is eye opening and helps others to understand and empathize with those who have ADHD I am no expert in the area, so I always am never sure how to approach the topic in videos, so it’s great to have comments like your for people to be able to read and learn more about this
@@calicosmos yesss🙌🙌 I totally agree, the intent doesn't matter, it's how it's perceived that matters. Also, you've got this. I know how frustrating it can be, but you're doing the best you can, and that's really all anyone could ever ask of you. Take care of yourself❤️
@@cruelworldhappymind ofcourse, no problem at all. You always do such a great job of handling topics with the respect they deserve, and you always seem to be open to discussion, which is so much more than I can say about some other influencers/creators. ❤️
This is exactly the comment I was looking for. Forgetfulness is hard and comes with people assuming you might just not care. But that's our responsibility. You find other ways to show people that you care and hate that you made them feel that way, regardless of whether the cause is ADHD or not.
Nawl- when you hit that hard ER. You saying it with your chest. It’s always uncomfortable to find out people have that kind of hatred in them. But I would rather people stand on they square instead of playing dumb about it and going the I’ve changed/I was hurt/that was the old me-apology route. It’s nothing worse to me than not knowing when people secretly feel this way. Like I could be vibing to you and your content but secretly you hate me with a passion. That’s the worst feeling to me. Feeling like a clown after someone gets exposed for being racist or saying racist things. And I supported them.
tbh, I ask for help when i write apologies. I do. I want to make exceedingly clear when it's delivered that I'm not saying something that comes outmwrong or has unintentional subtext that would reflect badly on the message. People ripping at her for having an apology ghost write is pretty cringe in my opinion.
It's fascinating how she's screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE!" yet she remains on the platform. All she has to do is leave social media and boom problem solved.
@@onlyjayus that's how it goes with fame, even minor fame despite how awful that is. I think these people are right. If you don't want the attention you should probably stop if you can't take the criticisms. What would you do if you grow past TikTok and become really famous? The paparazzi is only going to make it worse. I'm not saying leave forever but put it in perspective here.
Don't apologize for prioritizing your mental health and time with your family. You make excellent well-researched videos, so you deserve a break every once in a while (everyone does). Enjoy your time with your family 🙂🤗
Maybe today's society should go outside , talk a walk, and just live a full and happy life. Why are we waisting our lives on social media.. hahaha, crazy world.
She's the easiest person to get a rise out of, shes a bad person who thinks she's a good person and hates it when people call her out for it, she feels the need to respond to every negative comment & video
Thats her RSD which is a symptom of ADHD. However, you have to know when to take a step back and learn what to respond too and how. I wouldn't say she's a bad person but she def has flaws and has said snd done some bad things. Granted this vid is the first I am hearing about her
As a black person with ADHD, it's still very annoying and disheartening that people (in these comments) are still giving Jayus a "pass"/ignoring the fact that Jayus ASKED black creators to go on their platform, and when black creators responded to that proposition proceeded to lie, ignore, and literally scream at those creators and using ADHD as an excuse for her actions. How are you gonna be mad that YOU GOT CAUGHT calling someone "nwordlover" and then want black people to do the work of rebuilding your reputation for you and then say "well I have ADHD so it's hard"? As a neurodivergent adult, you are responsible for your own executive function and coping skills, if you are struggling but proceed not to get help for yourself through therapy or other methods, you have no one else to blame but yourself. If you KNOW you struggle with those administrative duties and it's getting in the way of how you function on a daily basis, but you proceed to do nothing to improve your quality of life with the resources that are available to you, you are the issue. Am I forgetful all the time and miss emails, or forget to text back? Yes, but it is not acceptable at our big adult age (keep in mind we're the same age) to limit yourself and use it as a crutch to not handle basic responsibility/business. The world isn't gonna pause for you, so it's up to ourselves. ALSO Bella has the ability to get an assistant, literally no reasonable excuse. Do better.
This, 1000% this. A lot of white commentators are trying to turn this around on the black creator instead of holding Bella accountable. When Bella saw the backlash, they could've just put out a video and tag the creator letting them know what happened in a calm manner. But in typical fashion; the uppity black person in the problem and not the millionaire white creator. It's ridiculous. They used blacks as an insult, then used blacks to try to dispel their racist past whilst disrespecting blacks because they're just a commodity for their damage control.
Honestly Aunt Karen is a really is a really sus figure. She constantly involves herself in drama, makes very questionable choices/actions, and then tries to axtracate herself when it starts making her look bad. Not to excuse Jayus though, they really could have handled this better
Dude. I'm so sick and tired of people's acceptable and not acceptable age for _"oh they were young when they said/did that"._ It always changes from influencer to influencer and some of them have said or done far worse things but some of them get the _"oh they were young"_ pass. It confuses me and pisses me off whenever it comes up.
I think what's most important to me is, have they learned and grown away from who they were when they were young? Honestly, I will absolutely accept the excuse, "I was younger then" from anyone of any age who has truly chosen to make better decisions since whatever it was, because I think it is when people* are given the opportunity to learn and grow and do better that society as a whole improves. *not all people, there are a very few people who are psychologically unable to do that; I think those should be safely housed away from everyone else
I did bad shit that I sincerely regret and feel remorse for. I try every day to be better. People can change and should not constantly be judged for shit from like 10 years ago. There’s a reason people use the excuse “they were young”. It doesn’t make whatever they did ok, but it does mean you can move on from it and not constantly bring it up
I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with explaining that ADHD causes memory issues. I HATE communicating through email because if I don't get a notification (which happens more often than not) I will forget about the conversation entirely. Being forgetful is a really big issue for a lot of people with ADHD and forgetting to respond is completely believable in my eyes. I also completely understand being angry that the issue was made public, but to then go back and continue the conflict publicly rather than apologizing and discussing it privately is where they went wrong. I see some serious anger issues that need to be checked
Oh I've been hoping to see a video from you! You always do such an exceptional job researching and bringing these stories to us, and you are one of the most objective and respectful creators in this app I hope you are having a good summer beautiful mama!
It says a lot to me that Isabella didn't go out and do her own research and learn about racism and the history and pain behind all of it. Nope. She clearly stated that others came to her and educated her. Which tells me she wasn't interested in learning and growing and changing, other people were telling her to listen. That, mixed with that HORRIBLE "apology" tells me all I need to know about her.
I’m just gonna say it….people love to be self-righteous and crap all over someone that everyone else hates. The only thing worthy of criticism is the racism. Not wanting to collab with Aunt Karen and making an obvious albeit dumb joke about stealing wallets is not worthy of being crapped on for months on end. This is seriously a witch-hunt and any thing they do is severely blown out of proportion. Holding them accountable for dumb little things like ghost writing, not wanting to collab, etc downplays the severity of the actual issue: their racism. EDIT: Obviously the joke about robbing disabled people is an issue too! You’re doing exactly what I said in the comment; taking away from the main issues by zeroing in on a minor one…for gods sake I never said that racism is worse than disabled discrimination, some of you need to go outside.
Right, people be canceled over something most people have done. I've made so many anti jokes it's not even funny😂 just because somebody jokes about something doesn't mean they believe it or are a bad person. Misfortunes can be funny, I laugh almost everytime my son falls🤣 I might be a bad person though, so my opinion might not be the best lol.
4yrs Bachelors 2yrs Masters 2yrs PhD 2yrs Internship Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior. It blows my mind that people believe someone like this over me....
@@amandagarcia3177 For my PhD I went to Carlos Albizu here in Florida.. My internship was at Holy Cross... 10yrs, it's average. In my Bachelors I doubled in Criminal Justice and Forensic Psychology.. My Masters I doubled in Organizational Psychology and Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior. My PhD was Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior.. My husband says I still have no damn sense though 🤣
As someone who has ADHD I don’t use adhd as my crutch, I have to coordinate my day everyday, there’s many different people with ADHD that also have a hard time, but they can do it in a calming manner and not yell fuck off towards everyone.
As someone in another comment said, not everyone with ADHD has the same symptoms. Some people with ADHD do get impulsively angry at thing and for me my medication for ADHD makes my already bad anger issues worse. Not to defend Jayus but everyone has different ADHD Symptoms. Sorry that we can’t all be functional individuals like yourself (but there’s a reason it’s call a disorder.)
@@Garbeaux. which is why it’s so annoying and frustrating to hear creators who have adhd use it as an excuse, crutch to be toxic or to not reach out towards others.
@@gamedev7088 exactly. While I know ADHD can be frustrating as fuck, this is honestly the first time I’ve ever heard someone try to excuse their awful behavior, actions, and words bc of it. Like wow. She’s not a child anymore.
Their apology made me so nauseated it felt like one giant performance. If they said slurs to hurt someone in a fit of anger, that tells me that they truly feel that way deep down. I say stuff I regret but I would NEVER call someone a slur.
What they said was horrible-no doubt. However, I doubt you would be ok with any type of apology. She could have gave you 100 variations it wouldn’t matter
Quite frankly if someone fears rejection by the public they should not go to such lengths to make every detail of their private lives so public. Behavior of this nature is self-destructive. What's worse is when some of these people are facing consequences for their actions they make the claim that they don't know what went wrong even when shown. They claim they got help and figured out what the problem is yet they can't voice it and simply apologize which is a good sign that they haven't had enough help or none at all and still believe they did nothing wrong. Redemption begins by owning up to your misdeeds instead of lying to yourself.
What irritates me is when an influencer is being called out, rightfully, for doing something terrible they immediately try to paint themselves as a victim by claiming they're getting death threats or people are threatening their family. They are literally trying to gain sympathy and have people more easily forgive and forget what they did by playing on people's emotions. Bonus points if they also try to paint themselves as a martyr saying I understand if I was getting threats but don't threaten my family threaten me. LMAO it happens literally every single time. PR reps who specialize in damage control immediately advise their clients to do this. They NEED to gain sympathy from the public and humanize themselves that way everyone will accept their apology and forget about it and they will be able to move on. And if you've noticed they have never ever provided proof that this happened. No police reports, nothing. Onision is a famous example of this. Creepshow Art did it, Laura Lee did it, I'm pretty sure James Charles and Jeffree Star both did it. There's a bunch more but these are the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. I also think Tana did it after the whole tanacon disaster
As someone who used to enjoy and watch onlyjayus when I noticed she was just spouting nonsense and going after other creators without being able to be nice is a shame, i feel like fame got to her head.
Younger people don’t understand that if you’re apologizing, any “reason” or “explanation” is seen as an excuse. Just apologize and make amends through actions. No one cares why it happened, they only care what you’re going to do different. Like I tell my daughter, “I’m sorry” means “I’m never going to do that again” so prove that. Past actions are brought to light to see HOW the creator will handle the situation. How they make amends will say more about their character than what they’re actually being accused of.
Honestly putting yourself out on the internet you’re gonna get mixed reviews. It’s all about being behind the screen. Most people wouldn’t say in person they nasty things they do online. Another thing is, if you give them any inkling that you are in your “feels” they will just dog pile and keep pushing your buttons. Look at Eugenia Cooney she has been bullied for years and didn’t really show to be phased by it. There is one infamous video of her live-streaming where she cries about people saying she’s wearing a diaper. After that people keep in the comments went wild.
Eugenia Cooney is one of the saddest stories on the internet to me personally… I’ve found such a positive community online that it really shocks me that people can be so brutal
I’m not saying Jayus handled their controversy well at all, clearly not, but I am saying that I think no matter what any content creator says as an apology, it will be criticized no matter what.
Cause it’s ultimately just words creator or not, cool great you gave an apology now it’s your actions moving forward and that’s the key, perfect example is Jenna Marbles
@@SCSAsJorts she’s not the perfect example. She literally did nothing wrong and had to disappear from the internet anyway (?). What did that accomplish??
I completely agree. You can go to any apology on social media, no matter what they did to rightfully require an apology. I will always take an apology for something inexcusable with a grain of salt becuase it could be just theatrics, but there's also the chance they mean it. I don't like just staying mad at people. When someone acknowledges what they did was wrong and deserve everything coming to them, accepting responcibility for doing it, I believe people should at least not actively crap on it. Even if you don't believe them being sorry, just tell them you don't accept the apology, don't just clown on them, especially when they promise to better themselves. If someone is a big enough person to make what at least looks like a heartfelt apology, they deserve a chance to act on it. It is what separates someone who tries to bs their way out of drama from someone has the integrity to address it head-on.
I lost interest in her when I found out her psychology information was just stuff she read online rather than learnt in an actual class, but that was way before the drama started kicking off. From what I have seen since it seems a case of people throwing petrol onto a bonfire. Not defending her, but it does seem the extreme public reactions are caused by a community of people who take pleasure out of seeing it. Its like at school when kids realise they can get a reaction from that one kid with problems at home if they keep poking. Sure that kid may be wrongfully taking out their problems on others, but they don't deserve to be pushed into having a breakdown. No one does.
Dude, anyone could've realized after just watching a single TikTok that what she was saying was stuff from the internet 😂, psychology classes don't teach that stuff.
she did a psychology class in university but i agree she’s unqualified as a psychologist but i’m sure she learned some small and interesting facts in that class amongst the facts she got from google
Yeah, I don't like those "psychology facts" vids cause they are usually nonsense. I agree with you though, I think people know it's easy to get a rise out of her so they like to antagonize her. Then there are others who just like piling on or using the drama to get views. That kind of thing is bullying in its own way.
as someone who was once a young person with ADHD and the lack of impulse control And with RSD I get why she reacted how she did. I am autistic/ adhd myself and her screaming reminded me so much of melt downs I have had as a young adult and teen. She looked so happy in the start but like at some points even her face looks haggard and sad. I was very much like OnlyJaus in many ways at 16-17. I was trans in foster care from 17- 19 and most of that time was not even in foster parents it was psychiatric wards. The very words "What are people mad at me for now." I know those words. It's a rough life.
The fact that their first move in the first copying scandal was to lie about a black man threatening them has some serious racist undertones imo. also why do they sound like David Dobrik (that is an insult)
As someone with adhd, it’s really frustrating to hear them use it as an excuse to not answer an email. I forget about emails all the time, especially ones that make me uncomfortable but I have worked with my psychiatrist and counselor to help me to make sure I have a process and proper medication to help moderate that problem. It’s the truth that time blindness is a thing but you need to own up to it and correct the situation, not use it as a shield to be a crappy person. I have some sympathy for them but a lot of the issues are things they created but then refused to own, so that kinda on them.
Yes! That's my issue with her and Gabbie Hannah, not owning up to your faults, bad behaviour. Also, using your disorder as an excuse for bad behaviour is not cute, especially since folks with ADHD already get a bad rap. She also, needs to lesrn when to shut up and not respond
I think it's more complex than this. We know RSD is very overwhelming and takes up enormous headspace for people with ADHD. When I experience it, I can't think about anything other than the situation that stirred my RSD. She focuses so much on hate and hate comments, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even open her emails for days at all and forgot. I have definitely done this before, but on a micro scale with one or two people I fall out with, not hundreds of comments.
What I enjoy most about your content, is that you dont actively bury those people in your videos, but you put their content and clips and allow them to bury themselves. This allows your viewers to make their own opinions. So you dont talk down to your audience, and it keeps you above the fray and the dirt. You seem to be the only one taking this route and it makes your content interesting and different, and I hope you continue this and hopefully others will start to take this route as well. It is a breath of fresh air. Thank you
As someone with ADHD, I can confidently say that we don't claim them. Most ADHD people I know are extremely extremely sensitive to rejection (myself included) are often hyper aware of how others are feeling and tread carefully.
Am I the only one who dislikes both OnlyJayus and most of the people on TikTok who constantly chimed in to angrily criticise OnlyJayus' content and terrible personality? I feel like it won't take that long for these other people to also get their reasonable shares of commentary videos sometime in the future about them being toxic while hiding behind a virtuous facade like OnlyJayus.
I love the empathy you always approach these videos with. I think it's really valuable to acknowledge no one exists in a vacuum and we can have empathy for their struggles without validating or excusing their poor behavior.
I just wanna say THANK YOU for seeing both sides of this and delving into why exactly Isabella (OnlyJayus) acts the way she does. Would I ever defend her? Absolutely not. Do I think her back story justifies her actions? Again absolutely not, but sometimes I think it's important that we as humans try to understand why exactly someone is the way they are. Monsters aren't born, they're created, and I think it's extremely important we still try to find empathy for those that are led astray, it's never too late to try and help someone change. Thank you for this video. 💖✨
@@KaylaTheKindOne there is nothing you can do and it's definitely not a burden you should carry on your own shoulders. People can't just change because they've been told to...they have to see their errors and WANT to change
Exactly! I’m glad social media didn’t exist when I was a justifiably angry teen/young adult! My anger was justifiable while some of my actions that came out during impulsive rages certainly were not! Thankfully I was able to grow up and turn my life around completely. There’s nothing helpful about continuing to hold people’s past mistakes against them. It’s important to encourage people to grow and focus on their positive attributes rather than kick them down. No one truly knows what sort of pain and struggles people are experiencing. The world would be a much better place if we all worked together to help each other grow, with the support and understanding everyone needs and benefits from.
Tbh I think the best thing for this kid would've been to just keep puttering around out of the public eye in low wage jobs and have to slowly learn how to be a human being like everyone else.
I think that she’s an extremely miserable person and the best way of approaching this is “just don’t look.” If people choose to watch her content, then that’s on them. They’ll have negativity rub off on themselves and eventually understand that. The people who engage with her are only going to bring her more attention. She seems like an “any attention is good attention” type of person. Ignore it and she’ll go away.
I was like: “I can understand wanting someone to respond in private instead of making a video about it…” but then AuntKaren0 came with receipts and I was like: “Oh… they just deflecting the blame.”
Yet, she only sends one email is where I get confused. A person can get hundreds of junk emails a day so why can't she send a follow up email since a person can have hundreds of junk emails within a day?
At first I thought he was being sarcastic and it went over her head in her response. Like “my cousin is the ONLY person born in March”. Then he got hate so he apologized. I couldn’t figure out the tone of the video.
14:20 yes the wording was extremely similar but my conjecture (and this is purely speculative I am not even familiar with either of their content so idk) would be that they both plagiarized the same pop-science article. This happens a lot and it is so annoying when I see people accuse a content creator of copying a different content creator when both of those creators just ripped content from the same article that would be trending. that’s the issue with pop science in general it’s all self referencing. One person will say something based off of some shotty study or their a bad interpretation of a study and the rest of the publishers will run with it.
I hate "fun fact" things so much, they're almost always riddled with inaccuracies because like you said they're just copying from the same half-ass source. Knowledge is great, but I really wish people would stop with these and actually bother to research something rather than try and get views or clicks.
I recognized the name, but didn't know where. I looked it up, RUclips has been showing me the polls from their channel. But that's about it. Curious to see what this is all about
Sorry for not posting for a while! I had to focus on my mental health and family for a little bit but I'm gearing up for some exciting videos in August! Hope you are doing well
Love the vids
Don't worry. I don't mind.
it's fine as long as you are good
Take ll the time you need miss seeing your videos glad to have you back! See you in August!
Love the vids
as someone who is also 17, it's really not that hard to just... not use racial slurs
As someone who is even younger than that, it’s so f*cking easy to not say slurs, and I can also live with being called racist randomly because I know I’m not racist.
If you're not gay then it's hard.
@@ElChuntyCabra they're also gay though
Not everyone is you bro
@@erenjaeger1738 its really fuckin easy to not use racial slurs in general no matter who you are, unless you're like 12
As a psychology student, we all already hate the tiktok people making short videos on a topic that’s way more complex than a 1 minute video can explain. It’s even worse when people like OnlyJayus would take random theories/research papers from only one study from the internet and claim it as truthful, when it’s clear some of those studies were done to specifically benefit a company.
fr i keep telling people not to talk about serious topics if you aren’t a professional because psychology is just a bunch of separate info put together that shows a bigger picture, and it’s hard to boil it down if you don’t understand it as a whole. so people either get the wrong idea or fill in the gaps on their own. all of my comments are horrifically long because you have to explain everything thoroughly to show how it relates to the point. like this is why this happens, which leads to this, and connects with this to form this. and then still, it could be completely wrong cause psychology is such a new science, and we don’t really know why most of this happens lmao-
eh, DEFINITELY not the worst psychology shit going on TikTok, massive disease fakers out there, also if anyone is actually interested they will investigate it.
As a history student I don't mind the short fun history facts videos, in fact THEY ARE AMAZING, they get more people interested, true or false, and there's even history in false (ayy Bloch momence) so yeh
For an average person, it’s very hard to differentiate baseless myths and supported data, especially when you’re recalling old information you’ve learned a while back. For the longest time, I believed that coffee and tea dehydrate you when that’s simply not true. And that’s all because years back, somebody must’ve posted about it and my brain didn’t bother to fact check it. Or if I did, the source i fact checked from was false. You can hold wrong info for many years just because somebody wanted internet clout.
Psychology is mostly bullshit anyway. Nobody cares.
@@SolangeAbri except a lot of them are young people or they’re people suffering from something else. A lot of times these “disease fakers” are just trying to find out what’s wrong with them, why they’re suffering and how to “fix” it, and when you’re desperately trying to find this out, anything will do. Having these tiktokers either throwing random “aspects” of mental health diseases, or “ways to cure it” can be really troubling for those people, they can either misdiagnose themselves and start believing that this mental health problem os presented in specific ways, so they must adapt to fit into that category or the “cure” might not work for them and actually end up causing more inner suffering, the whole idea that “why isn’t this working for me when it’s working for everybody else?”.
It shows just how huge and niche TikTok is. I’ve never heard of this creator until now and they have a massive following.
I KNOW RIGHT?! The followings TikTok creators have gained is massive, impressive and hard to comprehend
Same. Good thing I found this all out NOW because I wouldn’t follow this person if my life depended on it!
So back in the day when Jayus was only on yt I got an Instagram dm from them asking me to check out their channel, and I used to follow their audacity tutorial quite often. So weird to see them now that they’ve both made it big online and have fallen from grace.
@@Matothe1st You're literally a sheep npc Samantha. Calm down. I'm sure Bella will be fine without your support.
Yeah, it's not real engagement. TikTokers aren't legitimate celebrities and have basically no traction outside of that cesspit of a site. You never heard of her prior to this because she isn't really famous, at least not in the traditional sense.
Ghosting people because of ADHD is a real thing. I’ve personally ghosted a couple dozen people by accident in my lifetime because of my ADHD. BUT each time when I’ve realized what I’ve done, I feel terrible and make profuse apologies and amends if possible/appropriate. The guilt and remorse is overwhelming. I could completely understand OJ ghosting by accident, but she should have been scrambling to apologize and collab as soon as she realized what had happened.
true
I am in that boat, I genuinely forget to reply all the time, and I like this response. But all the same, work needs to be treated as a higher priority, and I don't know, it feels like they make their work a priority with their content and sponsors - it's a bit too.... convenient I think.
@@SpiritOfMarowak What I find suspicious is that there was no attempt to make amends, especially considering that the whole reason OJ was in this position in the first place was to make amends for something else. It is very easy for ADHD to back you into a corner, but when the issue in question is having offended a marginalized group, you can't just stay in that corner forever.
@@justrachel4496 nail on the head, Rachel!
i got both rsd AND ADHD so im both the one who’s accidently ghosted and also overthought people leaving me on read😂
Hiring a ghost writer for your tiktok apology is WILDLY hilarious to me 😂
Ha I legit wrote something for someone the other day I was like it’s 500 just an off under I said I mean I was really just going to charge 50 but they bought it the hustle is really with the ticktock stars
Hahaha simply Kenna did that too 😂
But she didn't. It was never more than a rumor and it's been addressed in her long-form video about everything.
@@pembrokelove I'm not done with the video yet but it seems like she's a person ppl love to hate regardless of how careful she moves
@@sfr2107 that's about what I've come up with, and I've never been a dedicated fan or anything. It just seems like no matter what she does, it's the wrong thing. At least the controversy, even if manufactured, brings views.
How to be a normal human:
Don't be racist
Don't be homophobic
Don't message minors
Be kind to people
Seems that many influencers on internet forget.
Don’t be sexist too
And still ppl hate Gary Vee 😂
@@vitaliy.sergeev1 dont sell snake oil* there fixed it
i do all these things and im still not normal.
@@theneedlehigh5328 we know incel 🤡
ADHD can absolutely make you forget things like responding to emails, etc. and I empathize with Bella on that front. But, it’s still your responsibility to deal with the consequences of not responding and screaming and shouting about it when someone calls you out is absolutely not the way to deal with it.
Same but I feel like she was using it as an excuse and didn't forget because having that much hate being on you would have to make you constantly anxious and keep you up at night thinking about it.
I think she was just pushing it off and pushing it off not wanting to do the collab and then was shocked when that action had consequences
I have severe ADHD and it has caused a lot of disruption in my life. That’s on me. Are there times when understanding from folks can go a long way? Yes. But at the end of the day, I’m responsible for my actions. They weren’t ‘sorry’ or worried enough about it or they’d have set every alarm, put a list somewhere they’d see it, and checked their messages constantly. The thing with ADHD is you don’t just forget things- you also hyperfocus on other things, especially when you’re in ‘trouble’. It’s all you can think about until it’s fixed. Or you literally hide from it until you think it’s gone away. You can compartmentalize things and legit forget about stuff that stresses you, but I highly doubt they did this as a creator with something that was affecting their career. It sounds like a combo of them thinking if they just apologized and moved on, this would be a blip on the radar and they could move on. When backed into a corner, instead of apologizing again and fixing it, they started lashing out. But it shouldn’t have been held to another person that they couldn’t get their shit together long enough to respond to an email about something ‘so important to them’ they made multiple videos and ‘cried’ about it.
Well id scream & yell if everyone on the internet constantly came after me too
exactly. executive dysfuntion is a thing and it's a pain in the ass to deal with (I'm neurodivergent, I have adhd, I forget shit and procrastinate, too) esp if you add stress, but with that track record and that behavior? it sounds very insincere. as adults we all gotta take responsibility for our behavior and learn some skills, esp with such a pledge to do better.
Surely she has a team to remind her on certain things. I ,have ADHD I, put everything that's important in my phone so I, don't forget anything I, have to do. No one is perfect we all make mistakes in life. But we have to learn from our mistakes take accountability & try to do better. Just my own personal opinion on the matter
Social media is literally no different from middle school. People just bully, point and laugh, and start drama the real world doesn’t care about
But get paid a horridly ridiculous amount of money for doing nothing. Ok...not nothing, but nothing that actually requires hard work.
@@dallascordova9717 that’s a true fact
The bullying can take places in high school,in the workplace ,in public,everywhere ,and don't get me started with Life who will be your biggest bully
Yeah except in middle school it was filled with children, in social media these people are full grown adults/teenagers
@@Raiun313 yea it’s sad
Forgetfulness IS a symptom of ADHD but I feel like it’s a convenient excuse here. Like Gabbie Hannah, I think they’re using ADHD as a shield against criticism. That’s unfair to other people with ADHD because there is already a lot of misinformation and negative connotations.
yeah as someone also with ADHD, if something is that important i will not forget it. girl gets exposed for being racist and says 'oops i forgot about that one lol'
@@clownbones that your adhd doesn't lead to forgetfullness doesn't mean someone elses doesn't..
Also I don't care about nor accept the old adage hurt people, hurt people. If anything those people are wayyyy worse the people who originally harmed them, because they KNOW how badly it feels to be hurt and bullied and rejected and yet they turn around and do it to someone else?! Not only does it make them a hypocrite they KNOW exactly what type of pain they're inflicting on others. THEY WANT TO INFLICT PAIN ON OTHERS. They aren't inflicting pain out of ignorance, or selfishness, or a lack of empathy, THEY WANT OTHERS TO SUFFER BECAUSE THEY HAD TO SUFFER. Those kinds of people are the true monsters. There are plenty of people who have been through exactly what Isabella had and plenty of people who have experienced even worse, yet the vast majority don't turn around and start inflicting pain and hurt knowingly on others. She's a f****** monster and so is anyone else who tries to use their past as an excuse or justification for why they harm other people.
@@Rebberfoon uhhh I hope your joking?? Because if not... bro it doesn't matter how forgetful you are you're not going to forget to NOT be a racist pos. You either are a racist POS or you are not. There's no in between. Good people don't turn around and suddenly forget that being a racist isn't okay. Like wtf
It’s not even a good excuse for ghosting people you know and love, much less someone trying to help settle YOUR mess
"i can be ableist because i have ADHD" well that's...uncomfortable. you don't speak for every neurodivergent person, and despite being both physically and mentally disabled, I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable shaming others for their symptoms. not to defend jayus' actions, I just think that person was also in the wrong.
exactly. i am disabled and even as a schizophrenic person myself i have not knowingly participated in ableism and im working on to fully eliminate my stigmas against people who have the same condition as me. So the excuse "i cant be ableist bc i am neurodivergent" is soo stupid. specially considering that they straight up joked abt stealing a disabled person's wallet.
Not exactly the same but I used to regurgitate a lot of tranphobic stuff before I accepted that I was actually trans. It was nothing but self hatred but that doesn't make it ok. People need to stop using identities and diagnosis as defections
Yuuuup, I’m autistic and ADHD, and like every neurodivergent person is different and their symptoms show and interact in different ways. His comment made me so…itchy? Like, there’s so much hate towards people with ADHD already, we don’t need people with ADHD adding to that hate. Also, memory issues is literally one of the biggest symptoms. Forgetfulness, disorganisation, being late to things… literally the first three things every psychologist I’ve personally spoken to goes over first when discussing it
He wasn't shaming Jayus for having the symptom, but more for using it as an excuse. That's how I took it, & how I've seen other people act when a bad person using their disorder as an excuse for their shitty behaviour
Exactly - you being a part of a community does not exclude you from being able to contribute to harmful rhetoric surrounding it. Ableism is systemic and is often exhibited unknowingly. Also, all of our experiences are different, so something that may be ableist towards someone may not even occur to someone else who is also disabled/neurodivergent/etc. Our diagnosis is not a shield and does not mean that we don't need to do the same work in being better that everyone else does.
Not to defend Jayus specifically, but wow do I hate it when people say, "Well I have X disorder and /I/ don't experience Y symptom." Like... cool? That doesn't mean that other people with that condition don't have that experience. I have ADHD (with a few comorbidities) and it makes _me_ extremely forgetful. There's obviously evidence that Jayus was lying, but on the face of it, ADHD can and often does cause memory problems. I guess I just hate it when higher-functioning people with a certain disorder question the lived experiences of lower-functioning people with that disorder. It's extremely ableist (and happens to be a specific point of trauma for me).
Edit: Some people have mentioned that functioning labels are outdated/ableist, and after doing some reading I agree with that, especially in the context of ASD. I don't know the correct terminology, but I do NOT mean to reference people's intellectual/communication abilities. I am talking about how difficult someone with a disorder/disability finds day-to-day activities. Anyway, I apologize to anybody I may have offended with those terms! LMK if there are better/more accurate ones I can replace them with.
Same. It's well-documented that it IS a valid symptom and I experience it as well. I have comorbidities as well, but I don't experience all the possible symptoms of those and don't discount people who claim they do.
I hate that you are able to be diabled as long as you act as abled person. Time blidness, rejaction sensitivity, proscanization.... All adhd. They messed up big time but people complaining hoe able and disabled they are
Thank you, forgetfulness is even in the diagnostic criteria (under inattentiveness) so it is kinda frustrating seeing people say that forgetfulness has nothing to do with ADHD (now obviously not the case with Jayus since they were lying)
My biggest struggle is my bipolar disorder and I relate to this on a spiritual level. My comorbidities make my behavior atypical and makes me resistant to meds, and my family doesn't really believe in behavioral health 🙃 the ableist gaslighting too real.
Edit to add, most of my family meets the criteria for bipolar disorder 🤦♀️
Especially with stress it compounds it. Agreed.
Honestly I only knew Jayus (and disliked her) because of the misleading 'facts' she kept spreading. So it's wild to hear how much more there is
This is exactly why I knew them too
its they/them
same i dislike them because of their false facts (the alexandria thing made me giggle its an old tumblr joke)
i dont think they're a horrible person for making mistakes and trying to damage control especially as a neurodivergent person hate is really hard to deal with
@@dumnani no/it's/not
@@verszka1678yes/it/is. Everyone deserves to have at least a sliver of respect.
That doesn’t excuse their racism ofc but forgetfulness is absolutely a symptom of adhd and I find it infuriating when people online try to immediately discredit someone’s diagnosis just because their disorder doesn’t present in exactly the same way
I have adhd and autism and if my schedule is chaotic and I am stressed, I do NOT accept additional things I have to try to remember. When you have adhd it is important to learn your body, learn your limits, learn your strengths. But also? She’s a grown adult and should have coping mechanisms by now. She fucked up BIG TIME and either could have been honest she didn’t have the time yet to do the collab, OR she could have made the effort to remember by creating MULTIPLE failsafes including having someone to be accountable for them.
@@asmrtpop2676 hey! i have an attention deficit disorder and autism too and i know exactly that feeling!!
true crime creators do this a lot I think to stir up drama, as in "how ~convenient~ that you'd claim to hear voices" and then the creator will talk about how "if you REALLY had schizophrenia ----" when, as a schizotypal person, it's completely obvious that they're truly ill but someone needing help is just not as conjecture-worthy and no nuance hate-able as the idea of someone lying about illness i guess
@@asmrtpop2676 nobody ever teach you how to use notes, post-its, calendars, agendas or reminders?
@@mrispens you can still forget even with notes etc...
What I don't like about public apologies is that
A. People are forced into doing it which makes it insincere
B. People will sit up there and criticize the apology even though we all know it's forced
C. We can't tell how sincere it is bc the people who criticize apologies already influenced our own decision to forgive people.
It depends. If what went down happened on social media, then social media is where the apology should be accessible. Before I got older and started having more self respect for myself this would happen where someone did something cruel to me on social media, and then only apologized in person. It’s a way to keep manipulating. You’re not good enough for them to apologize publicly, you’re not worthy of people knowing this person wronged you.
The reason most of these youtuber and TT apologies get drama is because they aren’t genuine. A genuine apology follows up with actual change and also with ZERO expectation that the apology is accepted, and to accept the consequences of your past actions regardless of the apology being accepted. You have to be very emotionally intelligent to genuinely apologize.
So true!! I wonder if there’s a way to change this paradigm… maybe giving people more time and space before apologizing so they can learn/ discover and be more sincere, or something..
honestly i wish people would learn to handle conflict in private instead of using it as content to their impressionable fans but hey. guess this is why i never have much followers
@@cruelworldhappymind It would be the ideal but in a world of instantaneity, people would keep harrassing the creator at fault for a response or an apology. People forgot the concept of wait and patience when drama is up
To add, people will always criticize an apology. People will say “why did you wait so long?” Or “did you even take time to think about what you did?” “Why didn’t you make a video?” “Why didn’t you post on this or this or this platform?” “Why didn’t you make an official written apology?” Sometimes it is obvious when the apology is insincere and these types of questions should be asked, but it’s becoming so common lately with anyone and everyone apologizing. People will find any reason to not accept an apology no matter what is said or how many times the person apologizes, which is the most fucked up part of “cancel culture” and drama online. OH MY GOD, and people always force influencers to apologize TO THE PUBLIC about drama happening within a group of people (ex: Dixie and Charlie drama with their chef in a RUclips video). It’s honestly just annoying at this point.
So I was homeless for 2 years, and I had to panhandle to survive. I had a group of teenage boys come up to me and they took a bunch of pictures pretending to put money in my cup, then after they were done, one of them said to me "so you're disabled?"(it was on my sign that I was waiting to be on disability) and after I said yes, another one of them grabbed my cup and they all ran.
This was in like 2018, so far before Isabella was big. But in my opinion, it goes to show how the general public think of disabled people(easy targrts) especially homeless disabled people.
I’m so sorry :/ hugs. I hope those kids grew up to be better people and if not I hope their knee caps break
Oh my goodness that’s so horrible. I hope that you are doing well now. We as a society need to do so much better. It breaks my heart that people can be so cruel.
I'm so sorry this happened to you!!! People can be so awful :( I hope life and people in general are treating you better now :(
god grief im glad you're out of that situation. I always say to people who goes 'no way people are that bad!' 'Its not that people are kind, its just that you never been low enough for them to consider you inferior and treat you however they want'.
People are horrible, im so sorry you had to experience that.
God I'm so sorry this all happened to you, teenagers can be such plucks sometimes. I hope you're doing much better now
I was called a “n- lover” by a neighbor, and lemme tell you that the fear that it put in me, and my African American partner… it’s literally indescribable. I had a full blown panic attack, one that I had to seek emergency medical intervention for. I didn’t leave the apartment for weeks, my husband was so angry that he threw up. There’s no excuse to call ANYONE anything like that.
Bella was right that it is the most disgusting thing that anyone could ever call another person. It is so scary I cannot believe that so much hate exists to this day. I know your partner feared for their life.
It's inexcusable, I get the frustration from both sides. There's plenty of white people out there that are sick and tired of black people blaming them for everything, then wanting a seat at the table. I had this conversation one time with a black female coworker, you can't just see it from one side, theres plenty of white people that are not racist, they are just sick of the constant blaming bullshit.
@@yeahyeahwowman8099 Neither myself nor the original commenter blamed a white person for anything. No one but the original commenter knows if a white person said that. Could have been literally anybody of any race.
@Yeahyeah Wowman what would you be saying that could be interpreted as being inherently racist?
I literally forget I have a gag reflex until I read things like that. I can’t wrap my head around how a person is able to feel so much hatred in their heart that they’d say something like that to another person. It hurts my heart imagining how you felt after that, im sorry some people are so nasty 😢❤
A lot of recent “influencers” rise to fame always reminds me of what Markiplier said at one point.
Along the lines of,
We are never meant to socialize on such a massive scale and when a huge influx of people start following you, you are never prepared for it. In no way is it a good thing to have a huge following overnight because it changes so much of your perspective.
Mark has always had a humble mindset despite striving to be out there with his creativity and it’s a lesson I think we can learn from his experience.
We don’t deserve Mark, tbh.
Agreed, it's very obvious with many, especially young creators (16-20) that get caught up in hate and drama lately, because they don't know how to handle the attention of fans and indifferent/hating people as well.
Makes me kinda sad, because some people catch a lot of heat for honest mistakes, leading them to probably regret what was their dream at some point. Or like the D'Amelios (I'm not a fan, but drew gooden made an awesome video): they get famous and have their life planned out and stolen.
Mark is a great example of someone handling himself, even though his fame grew slower and trying to give great tips to smaller creators! Adore him for that
Markiplier is the goat and I love him for how humble and honest he is
I truly can’t think of another creator who has handled fame better than Mark, it’s amazing that there’s so few like Mark left… yet it’s not surprising
We love Mark 👏
its odd. when I was a kid, I would panic if 3 people knew about something I did or said, especially if it was me acting the fool. Today, kids will document and record the most ludicrous, damaging things they could ever conceive, and then broadcast it to the world. literally, the world. To follow them forever. This is unprecedented in the history of human behavior and societal development. Then to top it off, these are kids.. They are at the apex of development identity formation. This is a brutal cocktail. and we wonder why some kids are committing suicide for more likes. The invasion already happened under our noses and I just watched multiple generations get their childhood completely sucked away and blacked out - never to return. , Yet sadly they will be haunted by the electronic ghost of every failure they put out there.. its just.. profound sadness
There’s a silver lining. Until we had this technology we had covertly hateful people in our lives, only seeing the image of them they wanted us to see. The image cultivated for you specifically so that you don’t know their truth.
this is so well put. it’s so saddening
I find myself saying often when reminicing about some antics as a teen "Thank GOD there weren't cell phones back then" lol turning 18 in 2000 I was one of the last generations to be able to say that lol >
Exactly. Im 31 and I’m so grateful I had the internet but not social media like it is today. I can’t imagine the pressure. And for what? For fake online relationships. I dont even want to bring kids into this world for them to have to deal with so much worse than I ever did
@@alexamandes8872 Same. I'm 29 and we had Myspace and Facebook in jr high/high school but we also had 250 texts per month. Lol. We are the last ones who got to grow up without "the internet" as it exists for kids today. This whole situation is honestly just awful. I'm so incredibly sad for the kids, but also for a lot of older adults whose lives are certainly worsened by social media. Not to mention the societal problems generated by the internet. I ditched the socials except RUclips where I keep my interactions limited -- like responding in agreeable with your comment here.
I NEVER interact negatively with others on the internet and it's much better this way. Wishing you and yours a day full of gratitude and health.
I was so sketched out by Jayus from day 1. As a psych student whose special interest has been psychology for years, the way they were boiling down incredibly complex psychology content until it was pretty much meaningless and contributed to stigma really bothered me. At first, their videos didn’t seem to contain anything factually incorrect, it was closer to lies by omission, but it still felt super clickbait-y and really bad for perpetuating stigma (referring to their videos on “five WEIRDEST mental disorders!”). I didn’t have any concrete reasons for that sketched-out feeling, so I assumed it wasn’t a huge deal and I was just being too sensitive. But honestly? If you’re comfortable getting your clout from stigmatizing real mental disorders and miscommunicating complex scientific concepts that worsen the public perception that psychology is pseudoscience, i honestly think it’s not too “crazy” to assume you might not be a super compassionate/well-rounded person.
THIS!!! I immediately blocked them on tiktok when a video popped up on my fyp because I couldn’t handle the way they presented such complex topics.
You kids need to get a life
Yup yup!! My undergrad degree is in psych, and my masters will be in professional counseling. There are no "psychology facts." And it bothers me that professionals aren't listened to anymore, but a 10 second video made by someone with no education in the field is taken seriously.
While I don’t have any special backgrounds such as any dedicated people here, I would like to share my opinion.The moment I saw OnlyJayus I felt very uncomfortable and even weirded out. I couldn’t put my finger on it but somehow every time I scrolled past her videos I just got annoyed. I figured it was another psychology trick but I never knew. Finally, around 2020 I deleted Tiktok for the simple reason of being busy and needing more storage space. But from there she only exploded even more (RUclips, Insta, etc.) , and without knowing I followed their (what I could dish out as)
S/O. I didn’t get any weird vibes whatsoever ( not even knowing they were together until months later). Even going as far as finding them on Tiktok years ago and thinking this was a cool creator. But even then Jayus gave me the “rotten meat” vibe. Meaning when I saw her she looked fine and cooked but digging deeper could mean being rotten. If anything like that makes sense.
I am 1yr away from my PhD in Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior and I'm with you. It bothers me so much.. 10yrs in school to understand and study yet people like this can just say, "Well I read a few paragraphs so I know!" Keep up the good work because we need more like you in this field to fight against these types!!
The racism apology is absolutely bs lmao, calling someone a “n*g*** lover” is unforgivable in my book. You don’t pull something so severe out of nowhere. I have ADHD and I forget really, REALLY important things, I don’t take criticism well, and I say insensitive things I regret on a regular basis, so I think some of their explanations make sense. However, things said in anger always come from a genuine place.
Yet there are well over 100,000 black people on social media who make anti-white racist comments daily, and idiots like you have no problem with it. You're only against racism when white people do it, right?
i have lost friendships because i have said things i have no knowledge of. i feel like it’s something i would never say, so i understand why people would be mad about it. i just can never remember what i’ve done wrong.
Her*
They had already apologized to the person way before the leaks . Through Text and voicemail .
The other person accepted the apology and let it stay in the pass .
Not only that the years between the conversation and before the leak ,they went to therapy to better themselves and become a better person .
The things they said were harmful we can't deny that . But they did maded an active effort to be better ,apologized and take accountability .
They also tried to help other black creators ,by promoting their platform or pointing out the biases against them .
It's only shitty because you can't accept, period.
Any else after was because people were being too pushy on her and demanded her attention even they have other things in life .
Absolutely, I’ve had moments where I’ve thought as an adhd person “what’s the worst thing I can say right now to hurt this person.” But it’s always a character assassination, like I remember vividly calling a family member a filthy, lying cheater (because they literally did cheat😅)
"I can be ableist because I have x disorder" is a really bad take no matter the person or disorder.
I think there might be some confusion across social justice topics when it comes to "ism"'s. It's widely accepted now that black people can't be racist due to oppression and power dynamics. So when it comes to disability (another group that's routinely discriminated against), It seems many people draw sort of a logic parallel and think that disabled people can't themselves be ableist . Just a thought.
@@kr3642 Disabled people aren't a monolith. There are disabilities which face way more stigma and systemic oppression than others. And there is also a lot of internalized ableism. And we should not forget that colorism is a thing, so black people and poc do have a form on skin based discrimination within the group itself.
Well said
@@kr3642 well there's a difference between blaming something on an illness and explaining why it happened. Bella blamed it on her illness, instead of saying sorry it's my fault, and then explain why it's her fault. An illness can be the cause of something, that's not the problem. The problem is when someone uses it as an excuse, true or not. It's still your fault regardless of the illness because the illness is apart of you. You still did it lol. That's where she went wrong
But it doesn't even make sense either lmao
Why is racism just a quirky trait in most of these large creators backgrounds rather than a warning sign? Is being racist a how to guide to becoming famous?! It's ridiculous. Her words were intentional and disgusting and it really shows how prevalent and insidious racism is within the United States. It also shows how "normal" it as well since people.. just...brush it aside? It's a disgusting character flaw that has lead to centuries worth of brutal killings and torture. Why is being racist being treated like going through puberty for these large creators?🙄😬
I was born in the early 90’s so I’m older or around the same age as most of these influencers. I also grew up in the Deep South definitely around the older generations who are still closeted racists…I can 100% guarantee I have NEVER said that word. Ever. I never tolerated anyone around me saying that word, in fact I never tolerated racism period.
You’re right, it seems like every creator has said something racist publicly in the past and then they thinking blaming it on “the way things were back then” is their go to excuse. But even if it was 10 years ago, 15 years ago, even 20 years ago it wasn’t ok then either! The civil rights movement was decades before this time period so using that excuse today is a lie. I know where I grew up we all knew that word was wrong but kids still said it to be edgy. We need to stop excusing these situations like these people lived in the 50s-70s.
Exactly. And it's so weird how many times people try to wave off creators having racist pasts like disrespecting minorities is some kind of phase all teenagers go through or something. And it's always the people who'd never be affected by those slurs or racist remarks that are the first to forgive and forget this kind of behaviour.
I also dont know why everybody expects everybody to be all the way educated and not have made 1 fucking mistake in their entire life and also how everybody on the internet thinks that people behave exactly the same way they did when they were 16 or 17 even after being a full grown adult and having more experience growing up. Because hey, humans never change do they? And theres just absolutely no fucking possibility of any kind of growth EVER happening right?
There was a short period where gen z and younger millennials thought it was "funny" and edgy to say racist stuff. It moved to nazi sympathizing then communism.
I agree with you but just letting you know that Only Jayus goes by they them pronouns
ive binged watches almost all of your recent videos and im OBSESSED with your calmness and clear standpoint on certain topics. it really makes you even more enjoyable to watch. have a great day!
Thank you so much!! I try my best, appreciate you! 💜
@@RobinTheMetaGod Lol, triggered? Not everyone is a special little snowflake that needs to gain attention. :P
@@asmrtpop2676
Those alt right memes are stupid. And overrsted. Hell I am advocating for Jayus; a victim of the Liberals you childishly mocked.
@@RobinTheMetaGod damn u sound so miserable lmao
same. i’ve seen all the videos and rewatched them
This is a very fair and balanced look at OnlyJayus. You revealed the inexcusable dark side of OnlyJayus, yet made made me feel compassion due to the situation they got themselves into undoubtedly caused by severe childhood instability and the damage that can only be caused by having a religious zealot as a parent. If there were cameras or a permanent ledger of things I said and did when I was 17, I'd be immediately committed to a psych ward.
i’ve never understood the excuse of people saying that they said a slur “because it was the most hateful thing they could think of and they were coming from a place of anger”. idc how angry you get, escalating to the point where you decide to use racism or any other form of oppression just because you’re annoyed is unforgivable and disgusting. it just doesn’t make any sense to me.
edit: you guys can give all the explanations and possible reasons for why people might do this as you want in the replies, but i truly do not care for them sorry
I always defaulted to d*ath thr*ats and now I don't have a Facebook account anymore, which is honestly for the best
I've gotten pretty angry sometimes throughout my life, never once even in the blindest of rage did using a slur ever cross my mind - it's gotta be something already floating around in there for it to pop out like that. "I was so angry it just kinda happened" yeah? Why is that the biggest insult you jump to to begin with? Lol
It's unfortunate but we're all human and there's a lot more unforgivable acts of violence than yelling a slur. Slurs should never be used, but it's a forgivable act if the person has shown growth.
Tbh I’m mixed and if the person who said the slur has truly showed remorse and growth, I believe it is forgivable. In my opinion if we never forgive and allow change, when will there be actual change?
@@lachanclita5907 Exactly!
I love 3 things about you.
1: you do so much research and truly try to show all sides to an issue
2: I've never heard you judge anyone
3: You are one of the kindest people I see on here.
Really, she is so kind
If these videos prove anything it's to keep an open mind to these views changing, it is kind of scary ngl if you knew any of the creators she talks about back before they blew up you'd be able to say the same.
Let's hope they are a real one.
I want to add
4. She always uses the correct pronouns for trans or nb people.
it's very nice to see her put forth an empathetic yet thorough perspective. it certainly puts her apart from other creators that prefer to capitalize on the controversy
I am Indonesian. To make it simple, "Jayus" is equivalent to "Cringe". Btw, thank you algorithm for showing me this content. ❤️
Jayus reminds me of Gabbie Hanna. The actions aren't always the worst, but the responses make everything worse. I think that leads to an entitlement in both of them that only leads to more bad decisions.
@Joa Nnali are you onlyjayus?
@Joa Nnali the comparison is unfair, but because jayus is wayyy worse than gabbie! Gabbie never told people to rob people having seizures 🤷🏻
Worse than a r*** apologist? Idkkkk
Gabbie hanna did worse girly. Just so you know
Forgetting things is a huge part of ADHD and I believe is a valid excuse for not getting back to aunt Karen. HOWEVER, as someone who also has ADHD, I think it’s important to take responsibility for when our forgetfulness affects others. I think it was wrong that Bella used Karen calling her out as an excuse to cancel the collaboration. I truly think that if they had reached out to Karen and been like “hey, I’m sorry for not getting back to you, my ADHD can make it hard for me to keep on top of my messages, but I’m still interested and let’s talk about how we can move forward with this collab” I think this whole thing could have been resolved a lot quicker/better
Yeah, wholeheartedly agree w/you on this. I have extreme forgetfulness due to ADHD & not having meds to help w/ the forgetfulness or the brain fog. We can't control what all we forget and when, but we can control how we apologize & handle the situation when it impacts others.
It was the blatantly false characterization of ADHD as a neurological disorder for me. ADHD is not a neurological disorder. Whether it actually exists on its own is a major point of contention for many neuroscientists, psychological professionals, and medical professionals. A neurological disorder’s existence is not up for debate. I have a diagnosis of ADHD without the hyperactivity (ADD is not a diagnosis anymore) and even I am like but is it really a solo diagnosis? It doesn’t exist outside the US unless it exists where pharmaceutical companies reign. More importantly, it is not seen in people who don’t have histories of childhood adversity. That’s a ton of words for: they shouldn’t have labeled it a “neurological disorder that literally makes me forget things” and they definitely should not have used it as an excuse. At most it’s an explanation
I agree, but also there's really no good way they would've escaped that situation once Karen went public with being "ghosted"
agreed. i’ve been so busy lately and when i see someone message me, i’ll think “i’ll check that later” but then forget about it for three days. but i think her ADHD is an excuse for her poor time management, not a legitimate reason. almost everyone else with ADHD is responsible enough to maintain relationships & work/school
@@notshardain yes!!! Well said!
honestly one of my biggest gripes with OnlyJayus that is a subjective one is the way that they deliver their content. it all reeks of someone who always thinks they know more than you, and it seems like they kinda do. they’re like that kid in elementary school that was always trying to answer every single question and be the best at everything. like they want all the attention centered on them. it’s honestly just very irritating to me
They type of person that only learns surface level information and then acts as if they know the subject in depth.
Those aren’t even remotely close. One is a child navigating school and just trying to participate and do what they’re expected to do. The other is an extremely insecure woman who needs a LOT of therapy.
Lol u guys sound jealous 🤣 of her fame
@@DW-yh2xg hmm jelouse of a bland racist women with literall zero personality other than a 5 min hack video who constantly lies and constantly is obsessive about having anyone and everyone accept and like her … hmm no no I’m good
This feels like a major case of projection.
The "joke" about service dogs made me so so irate. My dad is a disabled vet and has a service dog. I could never imagine somebody STEALING from him while in crisis. Everything else she said made me so angry but that was by far the icing on the cake.
It was a funny joke, stop being butthurt about it
@@MishaKorol100 wow you're so edgy!
@Caelyn Dionne sorry you had to deal with that albeism.
It was a form of dark humor, but it sounds horrible coming from OnlyJayus
I dont see whats wrong with it
I feel a catch 22 from the adhd thing.
While being forgetful and having time blindness ARE adhd symptoms, the fact that there was proof from the woman that she DID message them more than once, shows it’s just being used as a “excuse my bad behavior because of my neurodivergence even if my actions hurt people.”
But ALSO the fact of people being “I have adhd and you can’t say that is a problem” feel that other people are doing is also bad??
Because everyone experiences adhd symptoms differently and at varying levels of life altering.
I can’t explain this well,
Thank you! I have ADHD and there's a lot of ADHDers who act perfect and like they never make mistakes or have ever shown antisocial or problematic behaviour.
Adhd also presents differently in each gender because of societal standards and expectations, so masking is different for everyone. I can forget things within 5 minutes, or remember every detail 10 years later, it truly depends on that situation in the moments they happen, as well as the 3 Ws (who, where, and why).. jayus may have used it as a blanket statement, but as you said, adhd presents differently for everyone.. if jayus truly forgot (which is very likely) then it's probably because it didn't have a big enough serotonin effect in the brain and didn't keep the mind engaged long enough to be "locked in".. (this is just my personal experiences with adhd, and being around fellow adhders)
This is how I felt too!! Like I would totally do the same thing! If I don’t reply back as soon as someone messages me I completely forget about it until the next time I open the message app lol
I have adhd and I damn well want to be held responsible if was an ass
@@simsgirlgem sure but I’m talking about that dude that was like “I have adhd and they’re wrong” like, that’s not helpful. He could’ve said “I understand that is a symptom of adhd but they should not have reacted the way that they did, etc”
Regardless what they went through, it’s not an excuse for racism
exactly.
@@koszachtyiswawole I apologize! My kid goes by they/them. I should have known better. Thank you for pointing that out. Editing now. Much love and have a wonderful day!
nobody is excusing racism tho.
Also I bet you prolly tortured a bug when you were a kid, does that mean you still do it? nah, people grow up and get better morale, does she seem to have issues managing stress and criticism? yeah, but most of the quirky gay ppl do that too.
before anyone starts I'm gay af, nobody's gayer than me hoe, but it's annoying when ppl hyperfocus the same problem on someone just because they are more privileged, both are the same sins.
@@koszachtyiswawole exactly!! Were siting here discussing how horrible this person is. But fucking dont misgender her!! She might get offended.
@@coryhiggins7515 them
Seeing how people reacted to them explaining their ADHD causing the forgetfulness honestly worries as me as a fellow ADHDer. Whether it was true for them or not, it could so easily be true for an ADHDer. Luckily, my memory problems aren't that bad but I've forgotten incredibly important things because my brain doesn't work that way. There are definitely people who will use ADHD as an excuse, BUT you can use anything as a disingenuous excuse so maybe we shouldn't react so harshly at first.
This! When I got to this part I was kind of mad at that guy for saying every person with adhd is the same. Made me feel like crap because I legit forget important stuff so often I have anxiety about it and have post its and notes all over the place (and lose or still forget to look at the notes 😭😭😭)
@anthail THIS THIS THIS. I have ADHD & comorbities too and I really feel your comment so much. Even stuff placed purposely and directly in front of me... I lose track of. I've taken my glasses off to clean them, had them in my hand, and lost my damn mind because I forgot I was still holding them! It's miserable enough to go through forgetting a variety of important things on a daily basis, but then to be told by larger society or ND folks w/different or less severe symptoms that it's impossible to forget things if they're "truly important" or we're "lazy" and all that nasty bs... It hurts to hear & be told that constantly, despite how hard we try, it's just a personal failing that our brains don't work like other folks.
I literally forget why I’m in the room
Right. Imagine being ableist while fighting against someone being racist
@@notshardain ^^^^
The most hated tiktoker should be the doxxing pharmacist. She's way worse than this creator.
True.
As someone who has several mental health issues, i can understand where onlyjayus is coming from and feel bad for what she’s going through, but we can’t excuse the things she’s done. I hope she gets help and works to become better.
I very much agree but at 0:48 this gut really said all big tik tok and RUclips creators are shit (like not all of them are bad)
I’m no big fan of hers or anything, but a joke about robbing a special needs person with a service dog isn’t going to cause otherwise honest people to actually do it. Bad people are bad already, and will do what they do regardless. Plus, jokes like this are made by stand up comedians all the time. And I swear sometimes I wonder how much simply being female is what causes most of the backlash in contexts like this. People are way too sensitive. To the point the difference between real bigotry and jokes are blurred. The n***er lover comment was awful for sure, though. I can attest to the fact that growing up in certain parts of this country make comments like that seem less abhorrent than they really are. Not that it’s an excuse, but she was 17 and if she really was raised in a badly racists environment, she can definitely grow and change and come to understand her error.
@@TheReluctantVlogger the problem is that the thing about service dogs guiding people to their owner for help isn’t very well known. the topic needs to be talked about carefully. especially because the owner is likely UNCONSCIOUS during this. it’s a very fragile state to be in, and to know that people are joking about misusing you being in that state can be TERRIFYING
They*
@Waitin4TheMothaShip I find the part that you said "people are too sensitive" to be distasteful, given the context.
It’s one thing to forget about using the n word in a song/casually in the past.
It’s another thing to forget about how you insulted someone by saying they care about black people - while using the hard r. An apology video doesn’t cover that territory.
Important clarification: *Hurt people do not hurt people.*
People who don't know how to process or express their feelings properly hurt people.
So important. Most of the time hurt people understand what it means to cause pain and avoid that as much as possible
Well it depends. Some hurt people want to attack the person that hurt them with the same hatred, and so fourth. But I understand lashing out, which is not a good excuse and just anger issue problems.
Yes! So many people who are in pain do their best to make sure no one else experiences what they did ever again.
I think a big part of the group of people who do not know how to express feelings properly are people who are hurt of have been hurt in the past. When you are traumatised you react differently than your actual peraon would do if you were not. Like someone also posted here. It stopa becoming an excuse when the person is made aware of their behaviour as being wrong and then does nothing abput it
@@tiredchickpea8298 I don't think this is true. Especially in the case of raising children, it is very often that kids will internalize and regurgitate what they grow up in. Most people will behave how they were taught. Growing up in an abusive household more often leads to abusive people than growing up in a kind and compassionate household. It sounds very nice and certainly is true sometimes that people break the generational trauma and realize the abuse, but this is not the norm.
The ADHD denial irritates TF outta me, I literally get in trouble all the time for 'ignoring' emails, voicemails, and messages.
Even in her apology videos she sounds aggressive and angry that she's having to apologize at all (or at least that is how it came across to me) but it goes to what that one guy was saying about her having ulterior motives. She definitely strikes me as the type who sees themselves as a perpetual victim in any and all situations.
That's called "panic" not "anger".
@@ewoma8234 right? I did not expect that level of rage lol
@@nachgeben lol I mean it could definitely be both, but I'd definitely argue that angry was the overarching theme lol what with the yelling and screaming
I think they weren't necessarily angry, just panicked and fearful. They had alot on the line at the time. But I do agree that her tone of voice could've been interpreted as such
@@whims6278 Yelling and screaming are also possible expressions of fear and panic.
I know that a lot of people who have ADHD have chimed in already. I just wanted to add that while Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is a part of ADHD and can be a very difficult issue to work through, the fact is just that. You have to work through it! Mental illness, trauma, addiction, even a lot of chronic illnesses are never your fault. But it is your responsibility and you are accountable for your behavior, regardless of where it stems from. It isn’t your fault if you experience RSD, it is your fault if you respond to that aggressively and lash out.
Most mature and logical comment on here.
Completely agree. I struggle with rsd every single day, but i cannot act on my feelings because they’re MY feelings and other people cannot be to blame for that. It’s incredibly hard to go but you just have to push it cannot be a blanket for lashing out on people who don’t deserve it
That is a great way to put this. Yes, ADHD, Autism, trauma, and mental health issues can be an explanation for behavior, but should never be an excuse for poor behavior. It’s the individual’s responsibility to manage and react appropriately to their symptoms.
@@idontknowanymore1246 I have ADHD and type 1 diabetes. Type 1 can lead to blindness, kidney issues, and a whole lot more. It’s not my fault I got the short end of the stick with my immune system. BUT if I neglect myself and end up with complications, it is my responsibility. That’s how I look at addiction and other mental illnesses. It doesn’t mean it isn’t fair or that it’s easy. But you can’t pull a “I have (insert struggle), it’s not my fault!” card and get a pass.
It's also the other person's fault for taking from private to public for no apparent reason.
Then making multiple videos shiting on you because you didn't give them your attention.
I might say that Jaylus had all the reasons to lash out and be visible angry . What they did to them and ignore that they have their own personal life , struggles and a whole controversy is just disrespectful.
As someone with ADHD, if she did forget why would she then blame that creator for getting mad??? It was her fault. ADHD isn't an excuse. Whenever I forget things, I know it's MY FAULT and I don't blame other people for being hurt by that.
Forgetting something isn’t your fault, how you handle the situation is. I’m sick of people acting like memory loss itself is something you can control when it very much isn’t, the only thing that is your fault is if you don’t try to explain or make up for it. I doubt it was your intention but this comment just further spreads a message often used to blame people with disorders for their struggles.
@@Elle... ok i have adhd and i forget appointments and dates and shit like that ALL the time, but the thing is, even though its not my fault its still my responsibility, regardless if you can control it or not considering you're still effecting the other people involved. Whether you apologize or defend yourself like jayus did is what determines how you're treated about it afterwards.
@@swimsvg1855 that is literally what I said…
@@Elle... I think you're misunderstanding my meaning. By fault, I mean my issues caused the situation. It's not saying I'm a bad person just bc I have a disability.
@@Elle... im just tired of people saying "forgetting isn't my fault" like yeah everyone knows its not your fault, i hate when thats the first thing said about a situation because its obvious. To me it always seems like a deflection.
i can only speak as a disabled person, but i can’t imagine making comments like that even as “satire” to MILLIONS of people! the world is not kind to us, and those jokes have real consequences
if someone wanted to take advantage of you because you're disabled they'd do it with or without a tiktok joke
I had literally never heard about this person until your video appeared on my feed. But the second I saw her first angry outburst my mind immediately went back to your video about Gabbie Hannah, especially the part when they're trying to justify their words and behavior due to mental issues/trauma.
That is an interesting pattern with some people I’ve seen on the internet who lash out at others but blame it on their mental issues… and honestly, I’m not an expert in mental health so I can’t really say why that is or whether it’s wrong or right, I guess it’s just interesting!
If people would just quit giving attention and views to problematic people, the issue would resolve itself. Bringing attention to them only drives their engagement, whether it's through curious people checking out her account, or people leaving hate comments, it's engagement and they'll continue to thrive.
or when they hate-watch them and then act surprised and bitter when the problematic creator is more famous and successful.
Giving them attention gets you attention, so people won't stop.
@@unamejames came to say this… even the most well meaning creators are bound to the algorithm and controversy gets views. Even with this video. I actually had no clue who Bella was until people started covering the controversies.
her fans are kids who don’t know better
In order to stop that, tiktok would have to be shut down, as it should be.
My least favourite aspect of social media and tiktok specifically is how people use one person's high profile cancellation to boost their own profile.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't criticise others, but it's very obvious that drama is just blood in the water for some of these creators. No apology will ever be good enough because they don't want the drama to end, they want to drag it out as long as possible so they can keep getting those outraged clicks.
Give this fellow big likes they are so right
This!!
If only social media was not invented.
That one woman callin Jayus racist while being very openly racist themselves was so ironic on so many levels 😭
@@Lovethehumans Or if it was regulated more heavily on who was allowed on it in the general public and what was able to be posted. Freedom of speech is great and all, but our forefathers never thought in a million years that a single person could reach BILLIONS in less than a second and say anything they wanted. We've outgrown our laws and honestly, some of our freedoms. Especially since Americans seem to think they can get away with whatever they want more and more due to no accountability online. I wish people could see this correlation more, because it's very telling if you engage with people from around the world.
I really appreciate your balanced and nuanced approach to onlyjayus' "controversies". The way I see it is that NO ONE can have the life that Bella has had and be mentally okay. It can take years of therapy to unravel that much childhood trauma. And while Bella has said that they have gone through therapy, I think that their social media life only serves to undermine and undo any progress that they might have made in therapy. It's been said that having a mental illness is not your fault, but addressing it is your responsibility. Bella needs to take a cue from Bo Burnham and just walk away COMPLETELY from social media, from public life, for several years-Bo Burnham went away for five years-, and focus on growing and healing, which they have not really had a chance to do yet. Bella's outbursts are not excusable, but they are also not surprising, given Bella's personal history.
Hurt people hurt people has never sit right as an excuse for me, everyone experiences hurt at some point in their lives but we can decide to turn that hurt into a positive or let it fester as a negative. We're responsible for our own trauma and our own emotions, with or without a diagnosis, especially as a grown adult.
Damn straight
Also, the excuse “They had such a rough childhood” whenever someone really does horrible stuff. SO MANY of us have, and have never hurt people because of it.
You're absolutely right, and in a perfect world, everyone would try to reflect upon their response to traumatic experiences, but often that's when people are at their lowest, and it doesn't always work out like that.
i don’t think it’s an excuse, more of an explanation/truth. it’s just what tends to happen in the world
@@Jay-jv8hxthank you. The truth is everyone is grey. Maybe open your eyes to yourself and your own prejudice rather than focuses on strangers and their flaws. Nobody’s perfect and that fake, forced, positivity movement doesn’t work for everyone and all types of traumas
Fully agree. ADHD symptoms can rage in how much they impede with the ability to function. For some (especially but not exclusively those with multiple comorbidities) it can render a person partially or fully disabled. Just because someone has the same disorder does not give them the excuse to be ableist. It really rubbed me the wrong way when that person said “I have ADHD so I can be ableist here” like ummm no you cannot. It’s dangerous to those who do have memory issues severely and encourages discrediting and not believing. Having memory issues does NOT automatically make them a liar and not to be trusted. I’m not defending Jayus or their actions it can be very harmful to those who do struggle with memory to speak like this especially if you are gonna call someone out for ableism in the same video maybe don’t spread ableist shit yourself. Thanks for hearing my Ted talk.
I think the story of OnlyJayus is exceptionally important for people who want to enter the content creation sphere. It shows what not to do
Task paralysis, time blindness, and struggling to keep up on communication are absolutely real symptoms of ADHD. But having ADHD doesn't make you the kind of person that screams their head off at people and use racial slurs. As an autistic person married to someone with ADHD, it really pisses me off how common it's becoming to use those labels to excuse terrible behavior.
For those who don't know, Jaysus went to foster care because their parents sent them to a conversion camp so fucked up that Social Services had to get involved. They have talked a little about getting abused in the foster system. This doesn't excuse their behavior but I wish more people would recognize trauma responses which their reactions to things is textbook trauma response reactions.
Im not trying to be disrespectful about their past or anythign to anyone whos been to conversion therapy but honestly who cares about their past? its not gonna change what they did and it definitely wont dispel any of what they did afterward.
@@crazynachos4230 “i’m not trying to be disrespectful or anything, but…”
i’m gonna stop you right there
Trauma response being racism lmao seems like you're projecting
@@turg4060 ??? No?? The trauma response they have displayed is reflectively trying to hurt everyone around them, and then when they leave completely freak out.
Which btw is the complete opposite of my trauma response which is be a doormat and internalize everything.
@@________stephens8251 okay doormat stop enabling racism
So I have pretty bad ADHD, I was diagnosed in elementary school and it's disrupted my entire life. I can definitely attest to the fact that people with ADHD often have problems with object permanence, so if something is out of sight, it's also out of mind.
I literally have photos of my family, and my best friends right by my bed so I remember to check in with them. I can honestly say if I didn't have pictures of them next to my bed, I would forget to check in with them for months, if not longer.
The thing with ADHD though, especially in Isabellas case, is that there's lots of info and support out there to help people with ADHD live as normally as possible. For someone who literally does information based content, you'd think she'd research her own disorders and how to help them, and she would definitely know to NEVER use ADHD as an excuse for bad behavior. The more people that do that, the worse the stigma gets. We have to take ownership for our actions.
I have pretty bad sensory problems, and I have melt downs pretty regularly. I never ever treat the people in my life badly during a meltdown, then just say "it's my adhd". That's insane. I remove myself and disconnect from those I love so I don't say or do anything to hurt them, and if I do get snappy or something, I'd always apologize after. But I'd actually apologize, not just say "I have ADHD. It's hard. Whoopsies" like Isabella is doing.
It makes me so mad when people act like dicks, then blame it on their mental health.
THIS, I was looking for a comment like this. I get that ADHD is disruptive as fuck, and that simple stuff like eating and sleeping can be so difficult (I literally almost fainted because I had forgotten to eat so often last week), but misusing this disability to absolve bad behaviour is not the way to go. No matter the intent, you did the action, so you take the responsibility.
Honestly adhd is stigmatised enough already
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 🙏 it is eye opening and helps others to understand and empathize with those who have ADHD
I am no expert in the area, so I always am never sure how to approach the topic in videos, so it’s great to have comments like your for people to be able to read and learn more about this
@@calicosmos yesss🙌🙌 I totally agree, the intent doesn't matter, it's how it's perceived that matters.
Also, you've got this. I know how frustrating it can be, but you're doing the best you can, and that's really all anyone could ever ask of you. Take care of yourself❤️
@@cruelworldhappymind ofcourse, no problem at all. You always do such a great job of handling topics with the respect they deserve, and you always seem to be open to discussion, which is so much more than I can say about some other influencers/creators. ❤️
This is exactly the comment I was looking for. Forgetfulness is hard and comes with people assuming you might just not care. But that's our responsibility. You find other ways to show people that you care and hate that you made them feel that way, regardless of whether the cause is ADHD or not.
Nawl- when you hit that hard ER. You saying it with your chest. It’s always uncomfortable to find out people have that kind of hatred in them. But I would rather people stand on they square instead of playing dumb about it and going the I’ve changed/I was hurt/that was the old me-apology route. It’s nothing worse to me than not knowing when people secretly feel this way. Like I could be vibing to you and your content but secretly you hate me with a passion. That’s the worst feeling to me. Feeling like a clown after someone gets exposed for being racist or saying racist things. And I supported them.
Very true
i am SCREAMING at them spreading alexandria's genesis, a major tumblr hoax condition, truly marvellous
Needing a ghost writer for an apology video has to be one of the most cringe things ever
A lot of these kinds of people do it, they aren't sorry and don't think they did anything wrong so they struggle to pretend they do.
tbh, I ask for help when i write apologies. I do. I want to make exceedingly clear when it's delivered that I'm not saying something that comes outmwrong or has unintentional subtext that would reflect badly on the message. People ripping at her for having an apology ghost write is pretty cringe in my opinion.
It's fascinating how she's screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE!" yet she remains on the platform. All she has to do is leave social media and boom problem solved.
you do realize my address has been leaked several times right?
@@onlyjayus maybe if you get off social media and lay low, instead of continuing your BS, your haters would move on. 🤯
@@onlyjayus uh oh
Girlfriend, PLEASE TAKE A BREAK. It will do everyone online a favor
@@onlyjayus that's how it goes with fame, even minor fame despite how awful that is. I think these people are right. If you don't want the attention you should probably stop if you can't take the criticisms. What would you do if you grow past TikTok and become really famous? The paparazzi is only going to make it worse. I'm not saying leave forever but put it in perspective here.
Don't apologize for prioritizing your mental health and time with your family. You make excellent well-researched videos, so you deserve a break every once in a while (everyone does). Enjoy your time with your family 🙂🤗
Maybe today's society should go outside , talk a walk, and just live a full and happy life. Why are we waisting our lives on social media.. hahaha, crazy world.
She's the easiest person to get a rise out of, shes a bad person who thinks she's a good person and hates it when people call her out for it, she feels the need to respond to every negative comment & video
She is the prime example of someone who fails to see their own flaws and instead project them on others
@@Demidruid exactly, a person like her shouldn't of ever gotten a platform
The worst kind of bad person IMO , is the one that thinks they are good
Thats her RSD which is a symptom of ADHD. However, you have to know when to take a step back and learn what to respond too and how.
I wouldn't say she's a bad person but she def has flaws and has said snd done some bad things. Granted this vid is the first I am hearing about her
@@CherryBlossomBlyue she's an out and out racist & ableist, you can only keep your mask on for so long before the cracks show
As a black person with ADHD, it's still very annoying and disheartening that people (in these comments) are still giving Jayus a "pass"/ignoring the fact that Jayus ASKED black creators to go on their platform, and when black creators responded to that proposition proceeded to lie, ignore, and literally scream at those creators and using ADHD as an excuse for her actions. How are you gonna be mad that YOU GOT CAUGHT calling someone "nwordlover" and then want black people to do the work of rebuilding your reputation for you and then say "well I have ADHD so it's hard"? As a neurodivergent adult, you are responsible for your own executive function and coping skills, if you are struggling but proceed not to get help for yourself through therapy or other methods, you have no one else to blame but yourself. If you KNOW you struggle with those administrative duties and it's getting in the way of how you function on a daily basis, but you proceed to do nothing to improve your quality of life with the resources that are available to you, you are the issue. Am I forgetful all the time and miss emails, or forget to text back? Yes, but it is not acceptable at our big adult age (keep in mind we're the same age) to limit yourself and use it as a crutch to not handle basic responsibility/business. The world isn't gonna pause for you, so it's up to ourselves. ALSO Bella has the ability to get an assistant, literally no reasonable excuse. Do better.
Giving very much make it make sense
all of the comments are about ADHD and not the blatant racism and empathizing with OJ
@@Candicedickinsonllc no literally so annoying 😭
This, 1000% this.
A lot of white commentators are trying to turn this around on the black creator instead of holding Bella accountable. When Bella saw the backlash, they could've just put out a video and tag the creator letting them know what happened in a calm manner. But in typical fashion; the uppity black person in the problem and not the millionaire white creator. It's ridiculous. They used blacks as an insult, then used blacks to try to dispel their racist past whilst disrespecting blacks because they're just a commodity for their damage control.
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
not them retelling the fake tumblr story of the alexandria’s gene 💀💀💀😂😂 bruh
TikTok is a wasteland. When I see who mostly becomes popular on that app I’m glad I never started using it. Yuck.
Honestly Aunt Karen is a really is a really sus figure. She constantly involves herself in drama, makes very questionable choices/actions, and then tries to axtracate herself when it starts making her look bad.
Not to excuse Jayus though, they really could have handled this better
Isn't that the point of her name, "Aunt Karen"? Big creators are always going to have haters.
@@jackievinyard718 no hate to her, just don't like the vibe of people who relish throwing fuel to fires.
Inserted herself into the Womblands drama as well, for absolutely no reason, and it mightily blew up in her face.
She really came across as smug and arrogant, like Bella. I guess Auntie would throw a fit if she were held to account.
@@bigby2k "held to account" for what? 🤔
Dude. I'm so sick and tired of people's acceptable and not acceptable age for _"oh they were young when they said/did that"._ It always changes from influencer to influencer and some of them have said or done far worse things but some of them get the _"oh they were young"_ pass. It confuses me and pisses me off whenever it comes up.
I think what's most important to me is, have they learned and grown away from who they were when they were young? Honestly, I will absolutely accept the excuse, "I was younger then" from anyone of any age who has truly chosen to make better decisions since whatever it was, because I think it is when people* are given the opportunity to learn and grow and do better that society as a whole improves.
*not all people, there are a very few people who are psychologically unable to do that; I think those should be safely housed away from everyone else
Right? Hell, when I was 15 I would never do any of the heinous shit these creators are doing at the "young" ages of 18-23. Like???
As someone who went through SEVERAL extreme ideological changes, I'm more prone to give people second chances and give them time to change.
@@wildfirefox1 everybody doesnt grow in the same atmosphere and with the same people you did..
I did bad shit that I sincerely regret and feel remorse for. I try every day to be better. People can change and should not constantly be judged for shit from like 10 years ago. There’s a reason people use the excuse “they were young”. It doesn’t make whatever they did ok, but it does mean you can move on from it and not constantly bring it up
I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with explaining that ADHD causes memory issues. I HATE communicating through email because if I don't get a notification (which happens more often than not) I will forget about the conversation entirely. Being forgetful is a really big issue for a lot of people with ADHD and forgetting to respond is completely believable in my eyes. I also completely understand being angry that the issue was made public, but to then go back and continue the conflict publicly rather than apologizing and discussing it privately is where they went wrong. I see some serious anger issues that need to be checked
Oh I've been hoping to see a video from you! You always do such an exceptional job researching and bringing these stories to us, and you are one of the most objective and respectful creators in this app
I hope you are having a good summer beautiful mama!
Wow thank you so much!! I try to be as respectful and objective as possible! 💜💜
@@cruelworldhappymind you do such a good job and I'm glad you took a break for your health!!!
@@cruelworldhappymind you do amazingly! You come across as incredibly authentic, which is refreshing :)
Have a good Wednesday everyone!
It says a lot to me that Isabella didn't go out and do her own research and learn about racism and the history and pain behind all of it. Nope. She clearly stated that others came to her and educated her. Which tells me she wasn't interested in learning and growing and changing, other people were telling her to listen.
That, mixed with that HORRIBLE "apology" tells me all I need to know about her.
I’m just gonna say it….people love to be self-righteous and crap all over someone that everyone else hates. The only thing worthy of criticism is the racism.
Not wanting to collab with Aunt Karen and making an obvious albeit dumb joke about stealing wallets is not worthy of being crapped on for months on end. This is seriously a witch-hunt and any thing they do is severely blown out of proportion.
Holding them accountable for dumb little things like ghost writing, not wanting to collab, etc downplays the severity of the actual issue: their racism.
EDIT: Obviously the joke about robbing disabled people is an issue too! You’re doing exactly what I said in the comment; taking away from the main issues by zeroing in on a minor one…for gods sake I never said that racism is worse than disabled discrimination, some of you need to go outside.
I feel the same way.
I feeling like them including the other things makes the racism seem not as important
yep. just karens wanting to karen.
Right, people be canceled over something most people have done. I've made so many anti jokes it's not even funny😂 just because somebody jokes about something doesn't mean they believe it or are a bad person. Misfortunes can be funny, I laugh almost everytime my son falls🤣 I might be a bad person though, so my opinion might not be the best lol.
🎯
4yrs Bachelors
2yrs Masters
2yrs PhD
2yrs Internship
Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior.
It blows my mind that people believe someone like this over me....
5 to 7 years for a PhD if you got a PHD in 2 years, you paid for a piece of paper
Um, shouldn't you understand?
Wow 😮 you got a PHD Really fast 💨!! What colleges did you to?
@@amandagarcia3177 For my PhD I went to Carlos Albizu here in Florida.. My internship was at Holy Cross... 10yrs, it's average. In my Bachelors I doubled in Criminal Justice and Forensic Psychology.. My Masters I doubled in Organizational Psychology and Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior. My PhD was Forensic Psychology and Applied Behavior.. My husband says I still have no damn sense though 🤣
Why u using a vid like this to flex what kind of degreees u have and it’s not relevant
As someone who has ADHD I don’t use adhd as my crutch, I have to coordinate my day everyday, there’s many different people with ADHD that also have a hard time, but they can do it in a calming manner and not yell fuck off towards everyone.
As someone in another comment said, not everyone with ADHD has the same symptoms. Some people with ADHD do get impulsively angry at thing and for me my medication for ADHD makes my already bad anger issues worse. Not to defend Jayus but everyone has different ADHD Symptoms.
Sorry that we can’t all be functional individuals like yourself (but there’s a reason it’s call a disorder.)
My brother was dyslexic and had ADHD and I never heard him use it as a crutch or excuse ever.
@@Garbeaux. which is why it’s so annoying and frustrating to hear creators who have adhd use it as an excuse, crutch to be toxic or to not reach out towards others.
@@gamedev7088 exactly. While I know ADHD can be frustrating as fuck, this is honestly the first time I’ve ever heard someone try to excuse their awful behavior, actions, and words bc of it. Like wow. She’s not a child anymore.
YAY I'm so excited to see this. Hope you and your family are doing well ❤️❤️
Thank you love!! Hope you enjoy the video
Their apology made me so nauseated it felt like one giant performance. If they said slurs to hurt someone in a fit of anger, that tells me that they truly feel that way deep down. I say stuff I regret but I would NEVER call someone a slur.
This!
@Katy Perry L but it’s common sense not to say a racial slur
@@whos_cyan7218 and even if you do bc lets face it many people do not knowing how bad they are at first...AT LEAST APOLOGISE PROPERLY
@@whos_cyan7218 no it isn't
What they said was horrible-no doubt. However, I doubt you would be ok with any type of apology. She could have gave you 100 variations it wouldn’t matter
Quite frankly if someone fears rejection by the public they should not go to such lengths to make every detail of their private lives so public. Behavior of this nature is self-destructive. What's worse is when some of these people are facing consequences for their actions they make the claim that they don't know what went wrong even when shown. They claim they got help and figured out what the problem is yet they can't voice it and simply apologize which is a good sign that they haven't had enough help or none at all and still believe they did nothing wrong. Redemption begins by owning up to your misdeeds instead of lying to yourself.
So well said!!!
@@cruelworldhappymind Thank you.
What irritates me is when an influencer is being called out, rightfully, for doing something terrible they immediately try to paint themselves as a victim by claiming they're getting death threats or people are threatening their family. They are literally trying to gain sympathy and have people more easily forgive and forget what they did by playing on people's emotions. Bonus points if they also try to paint themselves as a martyr saying I understand if I was getting threats but don't threaten my family threaten me. LMAO it happens literally every single time. PR reps who specialize in damage control immediately advise their clients to do this. They NEED to gain sympathy from the public and humanize themselves that way everyone will accept their apology and forget about it and they will be able to move on. And if you've noticed they have never ever provided proof that this happened. No police reports, nothing. Onision is a famous example of this. Creepshow Art did it, Laura Lee did it, I'm pretty sure James Charles and Jeffree Star both did it. There's a bunch more but these are the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. I also think Tana did it after the whole tanacon disaster
It's funny they get mad about stealing content when they get all of their information from websites and never cites sources or gives any credit.
As someone who used to enjoy and watch onlyjayus when I noticed she was just spouting nonsense and going after other creators without being able to be nice is a shame, i feel like fame got to her head.
Agree with all of this. Used to be a fan too
Younger people don’t understand that if you’re apologizing, any “reason” or “explanation” is seen as an excuse. Just apologize and make amends through actions. No one cares why it happened, they only care what you’re going to do different. Like I tell my daughter, “I’m sorry” means “I’m never going to do that again” so prove that.
Past actions are brought to light to see HOW the creator will handle the situation. How they make amends will say more about their character than what they’re actually being accused of.
Honestly putting yourself out on the internet you’re gonna get mixed reviews. It’s all about being behind the screen. Most people wouldn’t say in person they nasty things they do online. Another thing is, if you give them any inkling that you are in your “feels” they will just dog pile and keep pushing your buttons. Look at Eugenia Cooney she has been bullied for years and didn’t really show to be phased by it. There is one infamous video of her live-streaming where she cries about people saying she’s wearing a diaper. After that people keep in the comments went wild.
Eugenia Cooney is one of the saddest stories on the internet to me personally… I’ve found such a positive community online that it really shocks me that people can be so brutal
And then also there was that video where they started asking what really happened at the 5150 and she cried for a few minutes :-(
I’m not saying Jayus handled their controversy well at all, clearly not, but I am saying that I think no matter what any content creator says as an apology, it will be criticized no matter what.
Cause it’s ultimately just words creator or not, cool great you gave an apology now it’s your actions moving forward and that’s the key, perfect example is Jenna Marbles
truly
Agree
@@SCSAsJorts she’s not the perfect example. She literally did nothing wrong and had to disappear from the internet anyway (?). What did that accomplish??
I completely agree. You can go to any apology on social media, no matter what they did to rightfully require an apology. I will always take an apology for something inexcusable with a grain of salt becuase it could be just theatrics, but there's also the chance they mean it. I don't like just staying mad at people. When someone acknowledges what they did was wrong and deserve everything coming to them, accepting responcibility for doing it, I believe people should at least not actively crap on it. Even if you don't believe them being sorry, just tell them you don't accept the apology, don't just clown on them, especially when they promise to better themselves. If someone is a big enough person to make what at least looks like a heartfelt apology, they deserve a chance to act on it. It is what separates someone who tries to bs their way out of drama from someone has the integrity to address it head-on.
I lost interest in her when I found out her psychology information was just stuff she read online rather than learnt in an actual class, but that was way before the drama started kicking off. From what I have seen since it seems a case of people throwing petrol onto a bonfire. Not defending her, but it does seem the extreme public reactions are caused by a community of people who take pleasure out of seeing it. Its like at school when kids realise they can get a reaction from that one kid with problems at home if they keep poking. Sure that kid may be wrongfully taking out their problems on others, but they don't deserve to be pushed into having a breakdown. No one does.
Right
Dude, anyone could've realized after just watching a single TikTok that what she was saying was stuff from the internet 😂, psychology classes don't teach that stuff.
@@alorockss Yeah one of my friends is doing a BA psychology and he said it’s so useless and just stuff most people know.
she did a psychology class in university but i agree she’s unqualified as a psychologist but i’m sure she learned some small and interesting facts in that class amongst the facts she got from google
Yeah, I don't like those "psychology facts" vids cause they are usually nonsense. I agree with you though, I think people know it's easy to get a rise out of her so they like to antagonize her. Then there are others who just like piling on or using the drama to get views. That kind of thing is bullying in its own way.
as someone who was once a young person with ADHD and the lack of impulse control And with RSD I get why she reacted how she did. I am autistic/ adhd myself and her screaming reminded me so much of melt downs I have had as a young adult and teen. She looked so happy in the start but like at some points even her face looks haggard and sad.
I was very much like OnlyJaus in many ways at 16-17. I was trans in foster care from 17- 19 and most of that time was not even in foster parents it was psychiatric wards. The very words "What are people mad at me for now." I know those words. It's a rough life.
The fact that their first move in the first copying scandal was to lie about a black man threatening them has some serious racist undertones imo. also why do they sound like David Dobrik (that is an insult)
As someone with adhd, it’s really frustrating to hear them use it as an excuse to not answer an email. I forget about emails all the time, especially ones that make me uncomfortable but I have worked with my psychiatrist and counselor to help me to make sure I have a process and proper medication to help moderate that problem. It’s the truth that time blindness is a thing but you need to own up to it and correct the situation, not use it as a shield to be a crappy person. I have some sympathy for them but a lot of the issues are things they created but then refused to own, so that kinda on them.
Yes! That's my issue with her and Gabbie Hannah, not owning up to your faults, bad behaviour. Also, using your disorder as an excuse for bad behaviour is not cute, especially since folks with ADHD already get a bad rap. She also, needs to lesrn when to shut up and not respond
I think it's more complex than this. We know RSD is very overwhelming and takes up enormous headspace for people with ADHD. When I experience it, I can't think about anything other than the situation that stirred my RSD. She focuses so much on hate and hate comments, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even open her emails for days at all and forgot. I have definitely done this before, but on a micro scale with one or two people I fall out with, not hundreds of comments.
HUGE PROPS to the editing skills, especially the intro! Gotta recognize them efforts!! Also a really well-written and explained video!
Wow thank you so much! I’ve been working really hard to improve my editing skills I finally learned after effects 😂
What I enjoy most about your content, is that you dont actively bury those people in your videos, but you put their content and clips and allow them to bury themselves. This allows your viewers to make their own opinions. So you dont talk down to your audience, and it keeps you above the fray and the dirt. You seem to be the only one taking this route and it makes your content interesting and different, and I hope you continue this and hopefully others will start to take this route as well. It is a breath of fresh air. Thank you
This is an incredible analysis, thanks for sharing
I didn’t know she was hated by so many. I remember I blocked her bc I found her annoying wow
As someone with ADHD, I can confidently say that we don't claim them. Most ADHD people I know are extremely extremely sensitive to rejection (myself included) are often hyper aware of how others are feeling and tread carefully.
Robux
Am I the only one who dislikes both OnlyJayus and most of the people on TikTok who constantly chimed in to angrily criticise OnlyJayus' content and terrible personality? I feel like it won't take that long for these other people to also get their reasonable shares of commentary videos sometime in the future about them being toxic while hiding behind a virtuous facade like OnlyJayus.
True
Bunch of snowflakes with too much time
I love the empathy you always approach these videos with. I think it's really valuable to acknowledge no one exists in a vacuum and we can have empathy for their struggles without validating or excusing their poor behavior.
Welcome back and hope you and the family are doing good Madison! X
Thank you!!!
I just wanna say THANK YOU for seeing both sides of this and delving into why exactly Isabella (OnlyJayus) acts the way she does. Would I ever defend her? Absolutely not. Do I think her back story justifies her actions? Again absolutely not, but sometimes I think it's important that we as humans try to understand why exactly someone is the way they are. Monsters aren't born, they're created, and I think it's extremely important we still try to find empathy for those that are led astray, it's never too late to try and help someone change. Thank you for this video. 💖✨
What do you do when you believe the person can change but they dont believe they can?
@@KaylaTheKindOne there is nothing you can do and it's definitely not a burden you should carry on your own shoulders. People can't just change because they've been told to...they have to see their errors and WANT to change
Exactly! I’m glad social media didn’t exist when I was a justifiably angry teen/young adult! My anger was justifiable while some of my actions that came out during impulsive rages certainly were not! Thankfully I was able to grow up and turn my life around completely. There’s nothing helpful about continuing to hold people’s past mistakes against them. It’s important to encourage people to grow and focus on their positive attributes rather than kick them down. No one truly knows what sort of pain and struggles people are experiencing. The world would be a much better place if we all worked together to help each other grow, with the support and understanding everyone needs and benefits from.
Tbh I think the best thing for this kid would've been to just keep puttering around out of the public eye in low wage jobs and have to slowly learn how to be a human being like everyone else.
I think that she’s an extremely miserable person and the best way of approaching this is “just don’t look.” If people choose to watch her content, then that’s on them. They’ll have negativity rub off on themselves and eventually understand that. The people who engage with her are only going to bring her more attention. She seems like an “any attention is good attention” type of person. Ignore it and she’ll go away.
I missed you girl!!! I hope everything is okay with the new baby!
Thank you! It is overwhelming sometimes but worth it
@@cruelworldhappymind Oh my gosh, I didn't think you'd reply!! Good luck with everything and please don't forget to take time off for yourself
I was like: “I can understand wanting someone to respond in private instead of making a video about it…” but then AuntKaren0 came with receipts and I was like: “Oh… they just deflecting the blame.”
Yet, she only sends one email is where I get confused. A person can get hundreds of junk emails a day so why can't she send a follow up email since a person can have hundreds of junk emails within a day?
That guy really did copy her word for word and I've seen other creators get a ton more shit for it than he did.
Agreed
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At first I thought he was being sarcastic and it went over her head in her response. Like “my cousin is the ONLY person born in March”. Then he got hate so he apologized. I couldn’t figure out the tone of the video.
The fact that she said that the slur she used was “the meanest thing that she could think of to hurt someone” says all I need to know. GIRL BYE.
RII LIKE😒
14:20 yes the wording was extremely similar but my conjecture (and this is purely speculative I am not even familiar with either of their content so idk) would be that they both plagiarized the same pop-science article. This happens a lot and it is so annoying when I see people accuse a content creator of copying a different content creator when both of those creators just ripped content from the same article that would be trending. that’s the issue with pop science in general it’s all self referencing. One person will say something based off of some shotty study or their a bad interpretation of a study and the rest of the publishers will run with it.
I hate "fun fact" things so much, they're almost always riddled with inaccuracies because like you said they're just copying from the same half-ass source. Knowledge is great, but I really wish people would stop with these and actually bother to research something rather than try and get views or clicks.
Amen!
I recognized the name, but didn't know where. I looked it up, RUclips has been showing me the polls from their channel. But that's about it. Curious to see what this is all about