It's a big deal when you choose to leave a high-demand religion. It ruptures relationships and reframes your worldview. You need social support. Applause for being such a strong person.
I have so many friends who choose to stay because they don’t know how they will raise children outside of the church. Most of them don’t have children yet. I’m so excited to raise my kids outside of the church. They get to learn about safety first when it come to everything and natural consequences and how good they are. Instead of how bad you are for “messing up”. Life is messy we all make mistakes and the churches doctrine doesn’t really account for that. It’s a constant shame cycle.
This was the top reasons I left the mormon church. To PROTECT my kids from it all. I trusted that I could figure it out. I already had some ideas in how I wanted to teach some things, I just needed to read some parenting books and find some parenting pages on social media. There are tons of resources
I remember growing up my parents (mom mostly) always saying that as long as we pay our tithing, then it will work out and that things will work out better if we pay our tithing. Yet like you, I remember my parents having to decide what was most important to buy food wise and what we could do without.
This is the part that saddens me the most... so many people with little kids struggle enough, but then have a multi-BILLION dollar entity still demand 10% of everything and if you can't provide then it is somehow YOUR fault???
A friend is facing some cognitive dissonance about religion right now (not Mormonism specifically) and fighting hard to drown out reality, and I got really sad/emotional the other night because I so vividly remember that feeling once I figured out "this has all been a lie" of just uttttter loss and "whaaaat the fuck do I do NOW?" While I very much want him to embrace that and get to the other side of it, I have so much empathy for that process because it's brutal.
This was such a lovely video. I'm one of the many queer people who left their childhood church as a teen when homophobic beliefs in the church made it clear that I could choose faith or happiness, never both. That was 11 years ago, and because all of my adult life has been out, I've really gotten all that way to the phase where my personal suffering in the church has become more of a distant, interesting story than a present trauma, and i've been free of it's restrictions for long enough to forget just how tight they were. It's always lovely to hear people able to reflect on how they've learned, grown, and changed once they got out of a stifling, abusive system
Leaving is so scary. I left after coming out as gay, while at BYU Idaho. It was a wild scary journey but looking back though, the only regret is that I hadn't done it sooner. Sometimes I talk to my boyfriend (never mormon) about it. It feels sometimes like coming from a different country or something. The culture is so different, it takes a bit to learn how to exist in the wider world. For those still on that journey, it gets better, I promise, even if you're scared now, it gets so much better, and I'm proud of you for having the strength to question things. And for those farther along, Im proud of you too 😁 and we should be proud of ourselves. The church makes it hard to leave by design, and we made it.
My assumption about your struggle with religion is that your rational brain and intrinsic honesty was stronger than the indoctrination that had become part of the foundation of your existence. You had the inner strength not to compromise when faced with irrefutable truths. Congratulations ! You seem to be a pretty decent person too. Thanks for the video Lex !
We believed it because it was all we knew. To not know was to be wrong.. we have been told our whole lives that this is the ONLY way. and to have so many ancestors choose this and suffer so much from those choices, it feels wrong to claim I know better, but I do. and it sucks to know how much generational trauma so many people have suffered over something that was never real to begin with. We're duped every day... the only thing that I can think of that compares is "the American Dream" ... we believed it because we were taught to believe it. We live in the greatest most free country in the world, except we don't and we never have... it was all made up to serve corporate interests.
I've been lucky. Left the church in my late 20s, my entire family is all still Mormon. Heard a lot of stories about people having left, your story included, and how they have family members who want nothing to do with them anymore. My siblings respect my decisions and don't care that I'm no longer in the religion, I still spend a lot of time with them. My parents care a bit more that I left lol, and they judge me a bit but we still maintain a decent enough relationship. For me the consequences of leaving Mormonism were minimal, and leaving it in the past was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I feel for those out there who have family who truly care more about the religion than they do about their own families.
I’ve never been Mormon but I relate as an ex Christian. It’s hard to process how a belief system doesn’t serve you anymore. It’s so devastating. I love watching you show compassion to your former self and see where they came from.
It's weird for me because I'm a Christian who wishes I was an atheist, but try as I might I just can't stop believing. Other Christians annoy me with their cult like enthusiasm. And bible thumping disgusts me. But despite how much I wish this was all crap, I can't disprove it to my own mind
@@jerichogonzales1290 It's hard to admit to yourself that you were conned. And lacking your former beliefs, you need something to replace it; something to fill that void. Try some mental exercises. Ask yourself questions like, "What motivates an atheist to be a good person?" Why, if you no longer fear eternal punishment, would you want to be good at all? Why not just screw people over to satisfy your wants? Lie, steal, etc.? Think about it.
This was so helpful! I am also 7 generation Mormon and recent exmo and can relate with everything you were feeling. It definitely helps to know that you can raise kids without it and life gets better!
Ohhhh Lexie. I related with EVERYTHING that you have said about your feelings when leaving the church. Even 40 years after I left, I still feel these emotions. It saddens and angers me all at the same time.
I love this video! It's very relatable. I remember feeling so betrayed. And I'm still dealing with regret and anger. I'm a lot happier now, but I always get annoyed when people in the church tell us we never believed or didn't care. Life really is so much better on the other side. I feel free!
A lot of religions / churches play the isolation game: leave and they will cut you off from everyone. It is like a mob boss. Congrats on escaping religion! There are tons of us who can support ya! BTW: love the Exmo you use. 🙂
I have watched you from the beginning, you look and sound so different - confident, secure, beautiful, clever and happy. Lovely to 'know' you Lexie, looking forward to what the next year will bring.
It's really interesting to see the positivity that comes into your life not just immediately but over the course of deconstructing. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I am grateful for you for speaking out. It makes me feel less lonely on my own transition out or even away from the lds church. My own path has definitely been more slow and i would say that I'm more nuanced than anything. Honestly the only reason I stay, especially in the ysa age group, is for community and acceptance. Which I have been slowly deconstructing as well
My mom had that exact issue with us kids 10:31. She had no idea how to raise kids with good morals without religion and since she was raised Mormon, that's the one she picked. I don't blame her at all but it does turn out that it's easy to raise kids without religion and they can still have morals. ("Easy" kids are hard but they don't need religion is my point)
I appreciated your comments around parenting. I agree that parenting without the church is so much easier on everyone involved. And! Big bonus, your children will grow up knowing themselves and trusting their own ability to consider things critically and make decisions. As a survivor of the Mormon experience, I have to remind myself sometimes that my child doesn't deal with the same guilt, shame and self-loathing that I grew up with and that they are operating in, and experiencing the world in a much freer and more open way than I did. After this reminder to myself, I've learned to sit back and feel proud of and tender for a moment about the young woman that made it all happen by breaking the cycle of abuse decades ago (talking about me!
❤❤❤ endings are sad, change is hard, and the unkown is scary, but the growth one can achieve once they leave their comfort zone is beautiful. You (and the hubby) keep being awesome. 🤙
I love your videos @ExmoLex. You made an interesting point in this video about your family paying tithing but then being on food stamps / WIC. I have heard that argument by LDS that people supposedly getting more money when they pay tithing to LDS. Another LDS argument I have heard is about the supposed bishop's storehouse, through which the LDS bishops can help families in need. Clearly your family would not have needed food stamps if either of these was actually true. Would be interesting to hear more about this sort of experiences, if not for any other reason then as a means to call out the scam here. The more people talk about it, the better.
you're so brave Lex. I love your vulnerability. It is so soul crushing to know what you shaped your life around and purpose of existence is not what it says it is because the history was not fully disclosed.
I felt betrayed also. That everything that had been taught to me was a lie. Even tithing goes to building businesses and malls instead of helping people. The grieving process took about a year before I decided I couldn't have my name associated with that corporation pretending to be a religion.
🎵 Hello me, meet the real me and my misfit's way of life 🎵 Something you said at the end made me think of the opening line to *Megadeth,* _Sweating Bullets._ 😁
It’s so weird because when I was really young I’m sure I believed in it I mean, when your parents say Santa is real you just believe them. And I don’t know when I realized it wasn’t true, because I just hated going to church as a kid haha it was so boring so it started out as like even if it’s true I just can’t participate in all this stuff. I’m not saying I’m better than those who were indoctrinated into their teens and adulthood but I find it fascinating and heartbreaking on behalf of those whose earths shattered upon the discovery of the truth.
I was a convert to the church. Was doing everything right. Was going to the temple to get my endowments. The morning of, I got the most distinct no I've ever heard, and cancelled saying I was going to reschedule because I wasn't ready. I wanted to do more research and figure out why I'd gotten that answer. I was so strong going into that, even though I had a few issues like the priesthood ban and LGBTQ+ issues. Studying trying to figure out why lead me farther away from the church than it did closer. I realized that the God and Jesus of the LDS Church was not the God and Jesus of Christianity. I realized that I'd joined the church due to not having a strong enough testimony in the Bible and it's teachings to notice early on the issues with the BoM and the churches teachings. I'm on my way out right now. I've had meetings with church leaders and they all ask me the same question. Do you believe in God and Jesus Christ. I do, and that's all I know at this moment. I know the church isn't true, that there's so many issues, and that it's the exact thing the Bible warned about with false prophets and doctrine. I don't know where I stand within Christianity. This whole thing has lead to me taking a deep dive into the Bible in attempts to figure out what I do believe. As of right now, all I can say is I believe in God and Jesus, but I've yet to find a church denomination that has the majority of the same beliefs around the Bible and Jesus teachings as I do at this moment. My beliefs may change in time, and I've come to accept that and be okay with it.
Show me why one church isn't true. ill show you why they all are not true. Thing is your have taken a path and you are at a impasse. There is no God, no Jesus, you wouldn't even know of those if it wasn't for religion making them up. The reasons you have gotten rid of churches is the same reason to get rid of the last vestiges of what holds you.
@@taz55 while I appreciate your response, I am not going to argue with you about belief in whether or not God/Jesus is real. You have your opinion, I have mine, and respectfully, neither of us are going to change the others mind.
@@thekathrynwest Here in the UK there's the 'Alpha Course', a basic introduction to Christianity which has been used by many Christian churches and traditions over the last few years here. It uses the bible for all of it's content. However, I'm not sure if this would be available online where you are. Also look up Nicky Gumbel - he created the course initially. Hope this helps! 💕
@@thekathrynwest One thing you might be starting to see, is that a good amount of the “ex-mo” community usually find themselves in an agnostic/atheist position. And yeah, I’m there as well. It’s just that most of the ways and tools used to deconstruct from the LDS religion apply just as well to any other religious belief that one comes across. You, and anyone else, are totally free to believe as one may wish. And I get it, culture and tradition within religion is very strong and comforting. If belief makes you happy, go for it. But again, just be aware that many here have had to ask “why should I believe what I’m being told”?, and are going to rightly be able to ask the same for whatever else comes up.
@@OuttaMyMind911 I truly believe there's a vast difference between Christianity and what I call 'Churchianity'. Sadly, a lot of people will have experienced hurt and abuse by the latter.
Hey, I miss you theme song. I just wanted to say that you had the same honest, thoughtful and sincere voice back then as you do today. I cannot imagine you a a dedicated Mormon with no critical thinking when it came to the LDS church.
Leaving & trying to leave the Mormon church & leaving & trying to leave Jehovah’s witnesses is so much the same. Like “being led away by Satan, or “worldly influences/family/friends, and growing weak. 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏾♂️🤔
Jehovahs Christian Witnesses are nothing like the Mormons, the witnesses obey the Bible and the outline given there for removal of wrong doers...a person who is a witness cannot be removed unless they are practicing things contrary to christianity as found in the Bible and refuse help to come back to a moral course of living, not a book written by a charlatan from the 1830s.
Hi Lex, I appreciate the way you address many of the difficult topics in Mormonism. Sincere question since you are deep into this world. What are your thoughts on the growing movement of those who believe Joseph and Hyrum were sincere in their fight against polygamy and that much of early church history was altered following the martyrdom? You know better than most how messy LDS history is.
Hi Lex, I don’t recall where I read this but several years ago I recall doing some research on cults, indoctrination, etc because I was curious why the LDS church was so good at it. I was raised Mormon but started “rebelling” lol in my teens and then one day at 15 just told my parents “I’m done”. That was 40 years ago and I can still sing all the songs, quote the scriptures, etc. there was something about the fact that missionaries were allowed to proselytize in England, that British intelligence wanted a strong mormon church and for the Mormons to be on the side of the confederates and so taught Mormon leaders their mind tricks to indoctrinate and help them out. I’ve not been able till find anything to support this now and I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream it. Have you ever heard anything like this?
That's an interesting rabbit hole. Mormons barely fought in the Civil War on either side. Utah had applied for statehood as far back as 1849, but it didn't become a state until 30 years after the Civil War. The British were not pro-slavery, and they didn't recognize the Confederacy as a nation. They did give it "belligerent" status and thus could trade. Did any nation in the 1860s even have expertise in indoctrination? Wasn't intelligence rudimentary and focused on things like troop movements? Dunno. Lots of interesting things to consider in your quest.
Understood and agree with your points. I’m not a historian so this is my basic understanding. British were interested in anything that would keep the US from becoming too powerful and they exploited opportunities like the Mormons and from recollection other emerging religious movements. A lot of those died away but Mormons were successful and this article was saying it had a lot to do with British intelligence support. Intelligence and security intrigue is as old as humans and power structures and the British didn’t dominate the world at one point by accident. It may not have been a situation where the church leaders said “hey, let’s cooperate with the British” but I can see how they would benefit. It’s not a stretch for me to believe that some apostle saw the benefit of British indoctrination methods and was trained. I wish I could find that article again, would love to know if anyone else has heard of this.
I hope you do find it, and I hope you would be able to find this thread again and let me know about it, because it sounds really interesting. For years, I have listened to a lot of the Mormon channels, and I have heard noting that touches on this. I totally support your asking if anyone else knows about this article. Sorry if I sounded otherwise. Did you consider posting on Nemo the Mormon's youtube channel? He is wonderfully erudite, and he lives in Britain. Most likely it would be a dead end, but it can't hurt to post. Best wishes.@@NJ-bw1mg
Indoctrination is a bitch. I remember when my shelf broke, I felt like there was no one I could talk to about it which was probably the worst part. My grandmother was highly controlling and was furious that I wasn't going on a mission first thing out of high school. She talked about how I was being indoctrinated in school but wouldn't talk to me directly about it. Instead, this was a conversation between my mother and grandmother. They talked about my future as if I wasn't even there; as if my own feelings on the matter weren't worth consideration. My mother could tell that I wasn't in a good state to go on a mission but she wanted me to eventually go after I had a year or two in college to sort myself out. She let me make my own decisions but they were supposed to be the "right" decisions. All I knew at the time was that the more I tried to walk the "straight and narrow", the more horrible and unworthy I felt. I disconnected for my own survival which primed me to actually look into the "anti-mormon" sources of information and cross-reference it with what the church published on their own website. Finding out the truth was devastating, but it was also a relief. I had been taught to believe that the feelings that I had towards other men were of the devil and I would likely be wrestling with these feelings for the rest of eternity. Suicide wasn't a solution. To find out that this wasn't true gave me hope. I wish I could share these feelings with my family who are still in the church but how can I explain all this to them? They will likely never see me as being truly happy even though I am far happier now than I have ever been in the church which wasn't really a high bar to begin with.
How can a person feel sad at leaving a religion full of lies... No one wants to be lied to, And it's important to find out the history of an organisation to see if You can reconcile its history to its present... But if it's caught out lying just once, then you cannot believe it at all.
Imagine being married to someone who tells you every day that they love you, just try harder. Then one day you find out they never loved you, you leave sure, but you’re still sad. This is no different.
@@codename495 Don't know why my comment are you disappeared, but still when someone's been lying to you, you dump them and you don't keep on talking about them all the while or dwelling on their lies, Where it's proven that they ve lied or they ve got money hidden away that they've not told their laymen about while asking for more, then it's time to question them. When they've lied about their past deliberately, Then it's time to walk away and tell us many people as possible about what they've done and why you left but be grateful that you weren't blinded right the way to the point where you died because now you have a chance to look for the true God.
It was a big decision but I wasn't emotional at all. I still haven't read the CES letter. I was trying to find books on mormon history at the local library and I ended reading a book on mountain meadows. Then another book on historical inaccuracies of mormon historians. It just took me some in depth reading. But before that I had learned more about myself and that I knew it didn't coincide with church's teachings
I just recently discovered the world of Mormonism, after what happened with the poor Franke children... I had always heard about Mormonism before but I never really knew what the Mormons believed (other than their Polygamy and Racism). Then, I recently watched "Test of a Prophet: The Bible vs. Joseph Smith" and then "The Bible vs. the Book of Mormon" by Expedition Bible. As an ex-Mormon, do you believe people who are in the faith would be blown away by those videos or would they view them as portraying Mormonism in a deceptive manner and shrug them off?
I don’t understand saying you’re tithing grocery money when you’re saying you’re receiving groceries paid for by government benefits. Why were you not asking for help from the church? Tithing goes to that. Sometimes reflecting on this and digging in can be empowering, as with the whole journey. Exmo in finance. “Clean” and dirty are descriptions I refuse to use for myself as a person. They are reserved for dishes. Ldstrauma and me reprogramming myself. They’ve shown us how badly they will treat kids not raised in the church. It has nothing to do with teaching kids morals. Most parents can relate.
My husband once found an old conference talk (since removed from the church website) in which members were encouraged to pay their tithing instead of using that money to fund their retirement accounts.
Satan is truly the master of the Mormon church. He is the master of illusion which is what the Mormon church is, but man-made. I am a never Mormon. My heart goes out to ex-mo’s and those still caught in the web. Biblical reality through the true Jesus is where true freedom is found. I continue to pray for you, Ex-mo Lex. You have a good heart.
Do you know people that have multiple wives? How are the disabled viewed? I heard the disabled are viewed as the devils children.Just curious about some stuff.
She was mainstream LDS not Fundamentalist Mormon, so it’s unlikely she knew any polygamist families. They don’t see disabled people as devils children, they don’t treat them as equals though.
I find your videos and the comments by your followers fascinating. Many exmos seem to come from pioneer stock and very strict rule-following families. They seem incredibly repressed by their family’s interpretation of what they must do to follow Jesus and then suffer a mental breakdown because they feel that they are falling short of being a “good Mormon”. As you know, Jeremy Runnells, author of the CES Letter (an 80+ page book) hangs out on Reddit and advises people on how to leave the Mormon church. Maybe you’re following his coaching. I’ve read the CES Letter. Many of the allegations are the same old recycled & repackaged ones that were put forth in the 1800s. Many have been debunked but you have to research to find that. What will you do if you later discover that many of the allegations in the CES Letter are lies? You rejoice in how “free” you feel to be able to swear and drink alcohol and coffee. As a convert when I was 20 and a recovering addict and former New Age & TM believer, I feel “free” to not be addicted and rejoice in a religion that teaches me to follow Jesus. I find it funny that you feel free leaving and that I feel free entering. Maybe it’s because of different past experiences. You say you are an atheist and disavow Mormon teachings yet you still cling to marriage, monogamy, and an arbitrary “moral code” of whatever it is that you now deem “moral” which sounds a lot like the moral code you were taught in the Mormon Church growing up. It seems like you say you have “left the Mormon Church” but you’re keeping your foot in the door to hold it open so that you can slip back inside just in case you find out you were wrong to leave. Just my two cents.
MORMONS, NO RESTORATION IS NEEDED. Because Jesus already has established His Church. MATTHEW 16:18 "And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it..." ALSO JUDE 3 "While I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints..." Jesus already has established His Church and built it on a rock so the gates of Hell shall not prevail against. Also the faith was ONCE and for all already delivered to the saints. No mention of any Mormon restoration in the past, present, or future.
I've watched a few of these videos, and one thing I have observed is she was not taught accurate church teachings. For example, the church does not say you will get more money if you pay your tithing, and leaders have often gone out of their way to make that clear. The church does not claim mobs had no reason to attack early members and that they were just mindlessly driven by Satan to do that. Actual church teachings do not attach any shame to sex in general, in fact sex is understood in the church to be a good thing unlike many religions that see it as some sort of necessary evil. All these weird teachings she mentions seem to just be individual beliefs of her parents or others who taught her, not actual church doctrine.
She has a name, Lexi and this is her comment section. If you’ve actually watched videos from ex Mormons you would know the experiences described on this channel are experiences many ex Mormons have had. You may be comfortable with the tales told by the church but many are not. Personally I can’t fathom How a church that uses Jesus’ name hordes billions of dollars and is a corporation.
@@Riverchild27 I simply said her claims about what the church teaches are not true, if I am wrong please feel free to point me to where these things are taught by the church.
I'm sure she wishes it was just her and her family. Unfortunately, many many people, in many different families, have had similar experiences. I personally can relate to having to pay tithing when we had no money. Our bishop kept telling us that God would bless us and we would have an abundance. So that's what my husband would repeat to me when I was stressed out about feeding our children. It never happened.
@@nicole0225 You are right that they are not particularly rare individual beliefs, but they are not church teachings either, and efforts are made to correct misunderstandings like these.
@@idwtgymndiscounting someone’s experience is a form of gaslighting, your experience in the religion has nothing to do with what Lexi has experienced. She doesn’t need to prove anything, her channel and experiences are hers and she shares them so that others who have had same or similar know they aren’t alone. Shaming her by asking for proof of her experiences in church doctrine, is abusive. If you’re a hard core Mormon you are just proving her point the church is abusive.
When you've been raised in a cult, it stunts your growth, it hinders critical thinking skills, and leaving feels like you're stripped of your identity. Getting sucked into another cult is common because you think you need to fill the hole left in your identity. When you do some research on cults, identify cult behavior, and realize you're better off without an organization giving you an identity, you do just fine without religious belief. It's just deeper deconstruction. Personally, I believe in God without an organization telling me who God is and who I am. I don't think anyone knows anything about God more than anyone else.
It's a big deal when you choose to leave a high-demand religion. It ruptures relationships and reframes your worldview. You need social support. Applause for being such a strong person.
After I stopped paying tithing i decided to pay myself tithing by increasing my 401k to 10% .
I have so many friends who choose to stay because they don’t know how they will raise children outside of the church. Most of them don’t have children yet. I’m so excited to raise my kids outside of the church. They get to learn about safety first when it come to everything and natural consequences and how good they are. Instead of how bad you are for “messing up”. Life is messy we all make mistakes and the churches doctrine doesn’t really account for that. It’s a constant shame cycle.
This was the top reasons I left the mormon church. To PROTECT my kids from it all. I trusted that I could figure it out. I already had some ideas in how I wanted to teach some things, I just needed to read some parenting books and find some parenting pages on social media. There are tons of resources
@@BreCheese000 Your kid is way safer at a drag show than at a church. Look at the stats.
I remember growing up my parents (mom mostly) always saying that as long as we pay our tithing, then it will work out and that things will work out better if we pay our tithing. Yet like you, I remember my parents having to decide what was most important to buy food wise and what we could do without.
This is the part that saddens me the most... so many people with little kids struggle enough, but then have a multi-BILLION dollar entity still demand 10% of everything and if you can't provide then it is somehow YOUR fault???
I think any faith that requires you to give them money to be considered faithful and receive a clean bill is a fraud
@@christopherhardy8937 pretty much.
A friend is facing some cognitive dissonance about religion right now (not Mormonism specifically) and fighting hard to drown out reality, and I got really sad/emotional the other night because I so vividly remember that feeling once I figured out "this has all been a lie" of just uttttter loss and "whaaaat the fuck do I do NOW?" While I very much want him to embrace that and get to the other side of it, I have so much empathy for that process because it's brutal.
This was such a lovely video. I'm one of the many queer people who left their childhood church as a teen when homophobic beliefs in the church made it clear that I could choose faith or happiness, never both. That was 11 years ago, and because all of my adult life has been out, I've really gotten all that way to the phase where my personal suffering in the church has become more of a distant, interesting story than a present trauma, and i've been free of it's restrictions for long enough to forget just how tight they were. It's always lovely to hear people able to reflect on how they've learned, grown, and changed once they got out of a stifling, abusive system
Leaving is so scary. I left after coming out as gay, while at BYU Idaho. It was a wild scary journey but looking back though, the only regret is that I hadn't done it sooner.
Sometimes I talk to my boyfriend (never mormon) about it. It feels sometimes like coming from a different country or something. The culture is so different, it takes a bit to learn how to exist in the wider world.
For those still on that journey, it gets better, I promise, even if you're scared now, it gets so much better, and I'm proud of you for having the strength to question things. And for those farther along, Im proud of you too 😁 and we should be proud of ourselves. The church makes it hard to leave by design, and we made it.
My assumption about your struggle with religion is that your rational brain and intrinsic honesty was stronger than the indoctrination that had become part of the foundation of your existence. You had the inner strength not to compromise when faced with irrefutable truths. Congratulations ! You seem to be a pretty decent person too. Thanks for the video Lex !
We believed it because it was all we knew. To not know was to be wrong.. we have been told our whole lives that this is the ONLY way. and to have so many ancestors choose this and suffer so much from those choices, it feels wrong to claim I know better, but I do. and it sucks to know how much generational trauma so many people have suffered over something that was never real to begin with. We're duped every day... the only thing that I can think of that compares is "the American Dream" ... we believed it because we were taught to believe it. We live in the greatest most free country in the world, except we don't and we never have... it was all made up to serve corporate interests.
I've been lucky. Left the church in my late 20s, my entire family is all still Mormon. Heard a lot of stories about people having left, your story included, and how they have family members who want nothing to do with them anymore. My siblings respect my decisions and don't care that I'm no longer in the religion, I still spend a lot of time with them. My parents care a bit more that I left lol, and they judge me a bit but we still maintain a decent enough relationship. For me the consequences of leaving Mormonism were minimal, and leaving it in the past was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I feel for those out there who have family who truly care more about the religion than they do about their own families.
I’ve never been Mormon but I relate as an ex Christian. It’s hard to process how a belief system doesn’t serve you anymore. It’s so devastating. I love watching you show compassion to your former self and see where they came from.
It's weird for me because I'm a Christian who wishes I was an atheist, but try as I might I just can't stop believing. Other Christians annoy me with their cult like enthusiasm. And bible thumping disgusts me. But despite how much I wish this was all crap, I can't disprove it to my own mind
@@jerichogonzales1290 It's hard to admit to yourself that you were conned. And lacking your former beliefs, you need something to replace it; something to fill that void.
Try some mental exercises. Ask yourself questions like, "What motivates an atheist to be a good person?"
Why, if you no longer fear eternal punishment, would you want to be good at all? Why not just screw people over to satisfy your wants? Lie, steal, etc.?
Think about it.
This was so helpful! I am also 7 generation Mormon and recent exmo and can relate with everything you were feeling. It definitely helps to know that you can raise kids without it and life gets better!
Very brave of you. Thank you for sharing. I've been a heathen for a long time and it is awesome seeing other people find their way out.
I love this episode as it reminds me how far I've come and the happiness after deconstruction!
Ohhhh Lexie. I related with EVERYTHING that you have said about your feelings when leaving the church. Even 40 years after I left, I still feel these emotions. It saddens and angers me all at the same time.
I love this video! It's very relatable. I remember feeling so betrayed. And I'm still dealing with regret and anger. I'm a lot happier now, but I always get annoyed when people in the church tell us we never believed or didn't care. Life really is so much better on the other side. I feel free!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone! 🎉🎅🌲❤
A lot of religions / churches play the isolation game: leave and they will cut you off from everyone. It is like a mob boss.
Congrats on escaping religion! There are tons of us who can support ya!
BTW: love the Exmo you use. 🙂
I have watched you from the beginning, you look and sound so different - confident, secure, beautiful, clever and happy. Lovely to 'know' you Lexie, looking forward to what the next year will bring.
I am so proud of you and your husband. Ive been a subscriber for quite some time. You helped me through my deconstruction. ❤
It's really interesting to see the positivity that comes into your life not just immediately but over the course of deconstructing. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I am grateful for you for speaking out. It makes me feel less lonely on my own transition out or even away from the lds church. My own path has definitely been more slow and i would say that I'm more nuanced than anything. Honestly the only reason I stay, especially in the ysa age group, is for community and acceptance. Which I have been slowly deconstructing as well
My mom had that exact issue with us kids 10:31. She had no idea how to raise kids with good morals without religion and since she was raised Mormon, that's the one she picked.
I don't blame her at all but it does turn out that it's easy to raise kids without religion and they can still have morals.
("Easy" kids are hard but they don't need religion is my point)
I appreciated your comments around parenting. I agree that parenting without the church is so much easier on everyone involved. And! Big bonus, your children will grow up knowing themselves and trusting their own ability to consider things critically and make decisions.
As a survivor of the Mormon experience, I have to remind myself sometimes that my child doesn't deal with the same guilt, shame and self-loathing that I grew up with and that they are operating in, and experiencing the world in a much freer and more open way than I did. After this reminder to myself, I've learned to sit back and feel proud of and tender for a moment about the young woman that made it all happen by breaking the cycle of abuse decades ago (talking about me!
It's a very difficult journey. Way worth it. Your videos are excellent. Keep up the good work.
❤❤❤ endings are sad, change is hard, and the unkown is scary, but the growth one can achieve once they leave their comfort zone is beautiful. You (and the hubby) keep being awesome. 🤙
I love your videos @ExmoLex. You made an interesting point in this video about your family paying tithing but then being on food stamps / WIC. I have heard that argument by LDS that people supposedly getting more money when they pay tithing to LDS. Another LDS argument I have heard is about the supposed bishop's storehouse, through which the LDS bishops can help families in need. Clearly your family would not have needed food stamps if either of these was actually true. Would be interesting to hear more about this sort of experiences, if not for any other reason then as a means to call out the scam here. The more people talk about it, the better.
So your inner voice was Dana Carvey looking at your doubt and asking, “could it be Satan?”
you're so brave Lex. I love your vulnerability. It is so soul crushing to know what you shaped your life around and purpose of existence is not what it says it is because the history was not fully disclosed.
I’m so glad that you have gained peace and freedom!
I’m leaving a different cult, but I needed this. It’s awful right now.
Hope it is going better for you now.
Side eye for the in laws right now. 😏
Loved this!
I felt betrayed also. That everything that had been taught to me was a lie. Even tithing goes to building businesses and malls instead of helping people. The grieving process took about a year before I decided I couldn't have my name associated with that corporation pretending to be a religion.
🎵 Hello me, meet the real me and my misfit's way of life 🎵
Something you said at the end made me think of the opening line to *Megadeth,* _Sweating Bullets._ 😁
Nice 🤘
Awww... I feel for little Lexi❤😢
That must have been so ha4d❤❤
Thanks for this post and think “authenticity” is a great term for all the benefits of leaving any rigid system of arbitrary rules.
It’s so weird because when I was really young I’m sure I believed in it I mean, when your parents say Santa is real you just believe them. And I don’t know when I realized it wasn’t true, because I just hated going to church as a kid haha it was so boring so it started out as like even if it’s true I just can’t participate in all this stuff. I’m not saying I’m better than those who were indoctrinated into their teens and adulthood but I find it fascinating and heartbreaking on behalf of those whose earths shattered upon the discovery of the truth.
Hey ! Merry Christmas!
Keep on growing sending my love. 🌹♥️🌹
I was a convert to the church. Was doing everything right. Was going to the temple to get my endowments. The morning of, I got the most distinct no I've ever heard, and cancelled saying I was going to reschedule because I wasn't ready. I wanted to do more research and figure out why I'd gotten that answer. I was so strong going into that, even though I had a few issues like the priesthood ban and LGBTQ+ issues. Studying trying to figure out why lead me farther away from the church than it did closer. I realized that the God and Jesus of the LDS Church was not the God and Jesus of Christianity. I realized that I'd joined the church due to not having a strong enough testimony in the Bible and it's teachings to notice early on the issues with the BoM and the churches teachings. I'm on my way out right now. I've had meetings with church leaders and they all ask me the same question. Do you believe in God and Jesus Christ. I do, and that's all I know at this moment. I know the church isn't true, that there's so many issues, and that it's the exact thing the Bible warned about with false prophets and doctrine. I don't know where I stand within Christianity. This whole thing has lead to me taking a deep dive into the Bible in attempts to figure out what I do believe. As of right now, all I can say is I believe in God and Jesus, but I've yet to find a church denomination that has the majority of the same beliefs around the Bible and Jesus teachings as I do at this moment. My beliefs may change in time, and I've come to accept that and be okay with it.
Show me why one church isn't true. ill show you why they all are not true. Thing is your have taken a path and you are at a impasse. There is no God, no Jesus, you wouldn't even know of those if it wasn't for religion making them up. The reasons you have gotten rid of churches is the same reason to get rid of the last vestiges of what holds you.
@@taz55 while I appreciate your response, I am not going to argue with you about belief in whether or not God/Jesus is real. You have your opinion, I have mine, and respectfully, neither of us are going to change the others mind.
@@thekathrynwest Here in the UK there's the 'Alpha Course', a basic introduction to Christianity which has been used by many Christian churches and traditions over the last few years here. It uses the bible for all of it's content. However, I'm not sure if this would be available online where you are. Also look up Nicky Gumbel - he created the course initially. Hope this helps! 💕
@@thekathrynwest One thing you might be starting to see, is that a good amount of the “ex-mo” community usually find themselves in an agnostic/atheist position. And yeah, I’m there as well. It’s just that most of the ways and tools used to deconstruct from the LDS religion apply just as well to any other religious belief that one comes across. You, and anyone else, are totally free to believe as one may wish. And I get it, culture and tradition within religion is very strong and comforting. If belief makes you happy, go for it. But again, just be aware that many here have had to ask “why should I believe what I’m being told”?, and are going to rightly be able to ask the same for whatever else comes up.
@@OuttaMyMind911 I truly believe there's a vast difference between Christianity and what I call 'Churchianity'. Sadly, a lot of people will have experienced hurt and abuse by the latter.
Hey, I miss you theme song. I just wanted to say that you had the same honest, thoughtful and sincere voice back then as you do today. I cannot imagine you a a dedicated Mormon with no critical thinking when it came to the LDS church.
Good for you lady😊
Leaving & trying to leave the Mormon church & leaving & trying to leave Jehovah’s witnesses is so much the same. Like “being led away by Satan, or “worldly influences/family/friends, and growing weak. 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏾♂️🤔
Jehovahs Christian Witnesses are nothing like the Mormons, the witnesses obey the Bible and the outline given there for removal of wrong doers...a person who is a witness cannot be removed unless they are practicing things contrary to christianity as found in the Bible and refuse help to come back to a moral course of living, not a book written by a charlatan from the 1830s.
Hi Lex, I appreciate the way you address many of the difficult topics in Mormonism. Sincere question since you are deep into this world. What are your thoughts on the growing movement of those who believe Joseph and Hyrum were sincere in their fight against polygamy and that much of early church history was altered following the martyrdom? You know better than most how messy LDS history is.
Thx for sharing
Loved!
Hi Lex, I don’t recall where I read this but several years ago I recall doing some research on cults, indoctrination, etc because I was curious why the LDS church was so good at it. I was raised Mormon but started “rebelling” lol in my teens and then one day at 15 just told my parents “I’m done”. That was 40 years ago and I can still sing all the songs, quote the scriptures, etc. there was something about the fact that missionaries were allowed to proselytize in England, that British intelligence wanted a strong mormon church and for the Mormons to be on the side of the confederates and so taught Mormon leaders their mind tricks to indoctrinate and help them out. I’ve not been able till find anything to support this now and I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream it. Have you ever heard anything like this?
That's an interesting rabbit hole. Mormons barely fought in the Civil War on either side. Utah had applied for statehood as far back as 1849, but it didn't become a state until 30 years after the Civil War.
The British were not pro-slavery, and they didn't recognize the Confederacy as a nation. They did give it "belligerent" status and thus could trade.
Did any nation in the 1860s even have expertise in indoctrination? Wasn't intelligence rudimentary and focused on things like troop movements?
Dunno. Lots of interesting things to consider in your quest.
Understood and agree with your points. I’m not a historian so this is my basic understanding. British were interested in anything that would keep the US from becoming too powerful and they exploited opportunities like the Mormons and from recollection other emerging religious movements. A lot of those died away but Mormons were successful and this article was saying it had a lot to do with British intelligence support. Intelligence and security intrigue is as old as humans and power structures and the British didn’t dominate the world at one point by accident. It may not have been a situation where the church leaders said “hey, let’s cooperate with the British” but I can see how they would benefit. It’s not a stretch for me to believe that some apostle saw the benefit of British indoctrination methods and was trained. I wish I could find that article again, would love to know if anyone else has heard of this.
I hope you do find it, and I hope you would be able to find this thread again and let me know about it, because it sounds really interesting. For years, I have listened to a lot of the Mormon channels, and I have heard noting that touches on this. I totally support your asking if anyone else knows about this article. Sorry if I sounded otherwise. Did you consider posting on Nemo the Mormon's youtube channel? He is wonderfully erudite, and he lives in Britain. Most likely it would be a dead end, but it can't hurt to post. Best wishes.@@NJ-bw1mg
Indoctrination is a bitch. I remember when my shelf broke, I felt like there was no one I could talk to about it which was probably the worst part. My grandmother was highly controlling and was furious that I wasn't going on a mission first thing out of high school. She talked about how I was being indoctrinated in school but wouldn't talk to me directly about it. Instead, this was a conversation between my mother and grandmother. They talked about my future as if I wasn't even there; as if my own feelings on the matter weren't worth consideration. My mother could tell that I wasn't in a good state to go on a mission but she wanted me to eventually go after I had a year or two in college to sort myself out. She let me make my own decisions but they were supposed to be the "right" decisions. All I knew at the time was that the more I tried to walk the "straight and narrow", the more horrible and unworthy I felt. I disconnected for my own survival which primed me to actually look into the "anti-mormon" sources of information and cross-reference it with what the church published on their own website. Finding out the truth was devastating, but it was also a relief. I had been taught to believe that the feelings that I had towards other men were of the devil and I would likely be wrestling with these feelings for the rest of eternity. Suicide wasn't a solution. To find out that this wasn't true gave me hope. I wish I could share these feelings with my family who are still in the church but how can I explain all this to them? They will likely never see me as being truly happy even though I am far happier now than I have ever been in the church which wasn't really a high bar to begin with.
How can a person feel sad at leaving a religion full of lies... No one wants to be lied to, And it's important to find out the history of an organisation to see if You can reconcile its history to its present... But if it's caught out lying just once, then you cannot believe it at all.
Imagine being married to someone who tells you every day that they love you, just try harder. Then one day you find out they never loved you, you leave sure, but you’re still sad. This is no different.
Narcissism is like that, abuse and lie to the people, then scare them into staying
@@codename495 Don't know why my comment are you disappeared, but still when someone's been lying to you, you dump them and you don't keep on talking about them all the while or dwelling on their lies, Where it's proven that they ve lied or they ve got money hidden away that they've not told their laymen about while asking for more, then it's time to question them. When they've lied about their past deliberately, Then it's time to walk away and tell us many people as possible about what they've done and why you left but be grateful that you weren't blinded right the way to the point where you died because now you have a chance to look for the true God.
I love your videos
I’m so glad you do! ♥️
It was a big decision but I wasn't emotional at all. I still haven't read the CES letter. I was trying to find books on mormon history at the local library and I ended reading a book on mountain meadows. Then another book on historical inaccuracies of mormon historians. It just took me some in depth reading. But before that I had learned more about myself and that I knew it didn't coincide with church's teachings
I just recently discovered the world of Mormonism, after what happened with the poor Franke children... I had always heard about Mormonism before but I never really knew what the Mormons believed (other than their Polygamy and Racism). Then, I recently watched "Test of a Prophet: The Bible vs. Joseph Smith" and then "The Bible vs. the Book of Mormon" by Expedition Bible. As an ex-Mormon, do you believe people who are in the faith would be blown away by those videos or would they view them as portraying Mormonism in a deceptive manner and shrug them off?
Thank you for this view❤ Do you practice meditation?
Allah, ... abrogated your post???
😂😂😂
❤
💕🌟🌟
I don’t understand saying you’re tithing grocery money when you’re saying you’re receiving groceries paid for by government benefits. Why were you not asking for help from the church? Tithing goes to that. Sometimes reflecting on this and digging in can be empowering, as with the whole journey. Exmo in finance. “Clean” and dirty are descriptions I refuse to use for myself as a person. They are reserved for dishes. Ldstrauma and me reprogramming myself. They’ve shown us how badly they will treat kids not raised in the church. It has nothing to do with teaching kids morals. Most parents can relate.
Bishop roulette
My husband once found an old conference talk (since removed from the church website) in which members were encouraged to pay their tithing instead of using that money to fund their retirement accounts.
Satan is truly the master of the Mormon church. He is the master of illusion which is what the Mormon church is, but man-made. I am a never Mormon. My heart goes out to ex-mo’s and those still caught in the web. Biblical reality through the true Jesus is where true freedom is found. I continue to pray for you, Ex-mo Lex. You have a good heart.
Do you know people that have multiple wives? How are the disabled viewed? I heard the disabled are viewed as the devils children.Just curious about some stuff.
She was mainstream LDS not Fundamentalist Mormon, so it’s unlikely she knew any polygamist families. They don’t see disabled people as devils children, they don’t treat them as equals though.
I find your videos and the comments by your followers fascinating. Many exmos seem to come from pioneer stock and very strict rule-following families. They seem incredibly repressed by their family’s interpretation of what they must do to follow Jesus and then suffer a mental breakdown because they feel that they are falling short of being a “good Mormon”.
As you know, Jeremy Runnells, author of the CES Letter (an 80+ page book) hangs out on Reddit and advises people on how to leave the Mormon church. Maybe you’re following his coaching. I’ve read the CES Letter. Many of the allegations are the same old recycled & repackaged ones that were put forth in the 1800s. Many have been debunked but you have to research to find that. What will you do if you later discover that many of the allegations in the CES Letter are lies?
You rejoice in how “free” you feel to be able to swear and drink alcohol and coffee. As a convert when I was 20 and a recovering addict and former New Age & TM believer, I feel “free” to not be addicted and rejoice in a religion that teaches me to follow Jesus. I find it funny that you feel free leaving and that I feel free entering. Maybe it’s because of different past experiences.
You say you are an atheist and disavow Mormon teachings yet you still cling to marriage, monogamy, and an arbitrary “moral code” of whatever it is that you now deem “moral” which sounds a lot like the moral code you were taught in the Mormon Church growing up. It seems like you say you have “left the Mormon Church” but you’re keeping your foot in the door to hold it open so that you can slip back inside just in case you find out you were wrong to leave. Just my two cents.
MORMONS, NO RESTORATION IS NEEDED.
Because Jesus already has established His Church.
MATTHEW 16:18
"And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it..."
ALSO
JUDE 3
"While I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints..."
Jesus already has established His Church and built it on a rock so the gates of Hell shall not prevail against.
Also the faith was ONCE and for all already delivered to the saints.
No mention of any Mormon restoration in the past, present, or future.
Interesting! Was it just as emotional for your husband? For me the exit was not emotional at all. I guess we are all different.
+
I've watched a few of these videos, and one thing I have observed is she was not taught accurate church teachings. For example, the church does not say you will get more money if you pay your tithing, and leaders have often gone out of their way to make that clear. The church does not claim mobs had no reason to attack early members and that they were just mindlessly driven by Satan to do that. Actual church teachings do not attach any shame to sex in general, in fact sex is understood in the church to be a good thing unlike many religions that see it as some sort of necessary evil. All these weird teachings she mentions seem to just be individual beliefs of her parents or others who taught her, not actual church doctrine.
She has a name, Lexi and this is her comment section. If you’ve actually watched videos from ex Mormons you would know the experiences described on this channel are experiences many ex Mormons have had. You may be comfortable with the tales told by the church but many are not. Personally I can’t fathom
How a church that uses Jesus’ name hordes billions of dollars and is a corporation.
@@Riverchild27 I simply said her claims about what the church teaches are not true, if I am wrong please feel free to point me to where these things are taught by the church.
I'm sure she wishes it was just her and her family. Unfortunately, many many people, in many different families, have had similar experiences. I personally can relate to having to pay tithing when we had no money. Our bishop kept telling us that God would bless us and we would have an abundance. So that's what my husband would repeat to me when I was stressed out about feeding our children. It never happened.
@@nicole0225 You are right that they are not particularly rare individual beliefs, but they are not church teachings either, and efforts are made to correct misunderstandings like these.
@@idwtgymndiscounting someone’s experience is a form of gaslighting, your experience in the religion has nothing to do with what Lexi has experienced. She doesn’t need to prove anything, her channel and experiences are hers and she shares them so that others who have had same or similar know they aren’t alone.
Shaming her by asking for proof of her experiences in church doctrine, is abusive. If you’re a hard core Mormon you are just proving her point the church is abusive.
Does your silliness really matter?
I can understand why you left the LDS church, but not how you lost all belief .
Why only question one belief system?
You say that like any of the other modern day religions aren't guilty of all the same things....
When you've been raised in a cult, it stunts your growth, it hinders critical thinking skills, and leaving feels like you're stripped of your identity. Getting sucked into another cult is common because you think you need to fill the hole left in your identity.
When you do some research on cults, identify cult behavior, and realize you're better off without an organization giving you an identity, you do just fine without religious belief.
It's just deeper deconstruction.
Personally, I believe in God without an organization telling me who God is and who I am. I don't think anyone knows anything about God more than anyone else.
@@mommyofkittens4809 Maybe find your own beliefs is a better way to say it?
@@Survivorguidetv Read Natural Moral Law, the short version.