Neurologist Explains Why You're Not a Bad Person In 3 Minutes
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- Dr. Allen Lifton explains why you're not a bad person, and the importance that loving yourself unconditionally has on your health.
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"the idea that you're a bad person because you're overweight" you literally read my mind. Thank you for this reassurance
@Ryan Byrd I wouldn't say you're a bad person, but quitting school to smoke weed all day isn't a very good decision.
it’s so hard to not think one is a bad person when your self esteem is low. everything is a crime regardless if you’re forgiven for it. i hope to implement this type of thinking and change how i approach my situations.
Fucking mood. All i do is blame myself for things i didn't do
Allah forgives. Just come to Him
@@Shivxngee who cares what people say.
i cried that i needed a video to tell me that i am not a bad person
You are not a bad person. I love you! People who are worried about how that can improve as a person are never bad people
i am a bad person
@@Vollee no your not I promise ❤️
@@londonbrown223 nope u r literally wrong
@@londonbrown223 i did the worst thing i couldve done in that situation
i ruined friendships and relationships for no reason i am not here to make myself feel better i was just on youtube scrolling
I’ve come to realise recently that I’m not a good person, I don’t have a lot to be proud of and even the few people that do like me I don’t treat them right. I feel like I need some time away from everyone while I become a better person, but it’s not possible. I just don’t really know what to do
hi there! i just wanted to let you know that i know exactly how you feel and although i don’t have the answers for you, i wanna let you know that you aren’t alone in what you are experiencing. i don’t know how long it will take for things to get better but i send you love and i hope you find all that you are looking for 🤍🤍
@@kennedymaxwell5405 Thank you, re reading my comment now has given me some perspective, I was in a bit of a period of intense sadness that I sometimes get when I wrote that, but I’m mostly out of that now, until it comes back in a few weeks. Really appreciate your reply. I’ve realised I need to try and better my physical and mental state. Easier said than done though.
@@Hopgop1 hi! same here i feel there’s some changes i need to make to my life as well and i hope that we both find the courage and patience to make those changes. and it’s okay to have bad days, weeks, and months. be gentle with yourself and take care!
I'm feeling exactly how you felt idk what to do too
I think I just ruined my marriage by my actions. I don't know how to be a better and different person. I want to but revert back to my old habits. I feel stuck.
I can do one bad thing and it makes my brain ignore all the nice things I’ve ever done. I am worthy of love and success and I am not a monster my brain is being chaotic and being obsessive because I have anxiety that’s why. Jus gotta chill and be self aware of my actions from now on and know the person I feel as tho I was bad to legit told me they don’t see it that way and I’m just identifying myself as something worse that what I am
I think this is normal for many people. I am thinking that your thoughts at least means that you are a good person. It maybe means you are trying to be better than you manage to be. Life is not easy, being perfect and without mistakes is not posible. But the fact that you are trying means you are a good person. People make mistakes, and that is what it is to be human. Be proud of yourself that you are trying your best.
Doing a lot of review of my life right now. I conclude that I was a bad person many times. Feel it was brought on by drugs alcohol and probably mental issues. Now it’s too late to make things right with all the ppl I’ve hurt. So I know I will ask god for mercy and there’s nothing else to do. I’m almost at the end of the road.
Hey Cynthia, i just want to say that i think i can relate to you. I have done alot of bad things in the few years ive been on this earth, and am living with alot of guilt and shame, most of my bad actions were brought on due to my upbringing and mental illness, but it doesnt make me feel any better, even if i know why it happened. I struggle with feeling like a bad person everyday. Your last few words in your comment made me feel very heavy, that you are almost at the end of your road, i hope you are keeping your head up, i dont know what it is that makes you feel like a bad person, but i am certain that if anyone could see the whole span of your lifetime, and what lead you to making certain decisions, they would have nothing but understanding. stay safe
All true, until a Narcissist watches this and says to their partner, "See? I'm not a bad person. You just do things that make me react badly." 😩
Most people with narcissistic personality disorder are actually quite self-aware and down on themselves.
@@upumpkin knowing and being aware are different things. they know what they're doing i.e. overreacting, getting too upset, lying to cover their skin, maybe that they're being unfair, but they aren't necessarily self aware of exactly how manipulating and how biased and how gaslighting. source: discovered i had narc tendencies (I'm trying to work on it)
Ease up on people in your life who have narcissistic tendencies. They can be difficult, but most are working on themselves. And you can spot from a mile away the ones who aren't. Remember that they didn't choose to be as they are. It's like being short. Only less disgusting 🤣
But there are people who make others react badly. Some people are abusers tho and being aware of people who abuse you to get a reaction out of you doesn't make u a narcissist tho
But what if i keep hurting alot of people i care about in my life. I dont want to but i keep making the same mistakes and fucking up all the time and a never hold myself accountable for the things i do until i get told what ive done
Thanks a lot I just started to go to college in person and sometimes I feel like people dont want to talk to me because I am a bad person. This makes me realize that I was grown in sort of "bad" environment for developing speech so I guess it is just a weakness that i want to work on.
aw :( same goes to me... sometimes I feel nobody like me or want to talk to me bcz I am bad. it does hurt.
I totally understand how you feel, going back to school I can’t help but think I’m a huge nuisance to all my friends, and when you’re trapped inside your own head and you’re already bad at communication it’s like an echo chamber of “okay, I guess nobody likes me because I’m a bad person and I deserve this”
I relate so much to this. As a child, adults used to tell me I was bad because of the things I said. Like I intently said things to make people feel bad. When I think about it now, I'm like: "Wait a minute... I was a kid! It's not like I went out of my way to make people feel bad". Anyways. My family was always shitty and it left a mark. The other day I was talking to my therapist about the fact that I sometimes think of myself as a bad person on impulse. Like the thought is always at the back of my mind. Ever since I was 7, probably earlier, I've carried around all this guilt for not being a "good boy" and it's led me to some bad places. I've made mistakes in the past, but I want to be the best version of myself now. Not for my family; for me.
@@davidmurra6566 Thats interesting, because I was probably the opposite of you in childhood but I have the same thoughts. My parents would always be proud of me and praise me in front of others. At first sight it seems like a good thing, but I had become way too shy, untalkative, and scared in my teens, because of that. I really wanted to be the way they wanted me to be, so that I could feel great seeing them proud. But what went wrong is that I started to do things based on what my mom and dad would think is right, and I did not want to develop independence. I thought that there is one "right" way to behave, and I was the bad one for not being like that.
I do the exact same thing to myself with these thoughts. Hence, the reason I am here. It doesn't help that it feels like college professors can see your soul sometimes. These days I feel like I don't really know what good or bad is anymore because I see a constant duality everywhere and in everyone. Yet, when I look inward, I can only seem to focus on the bad.
If I’m not a bad person, then why do I possess so many behaviors that are just objectively bad? I don’t do bad things, but I just don’t do things for other people altogether. And even if I’m not a bad person, I’m definitely not a good one.
I have the same impression abt myself I don't donate to charities often, I'm frequently annoying and ungrateful, I don't use my skills to help other people or animals. But at the same time I don't purposefully hurt anyone either. I want to be a good person so badly I feel so inferior and ashamed compared to so many other people I know. But sometimes numbness kicks in and it's just ok.
you took the time to come here and admit your faults. that's the first step. keep going !
@@somethingunusual8456 I didnt realise that people struggled with the opposite to me, I feel like I give too much of myself to people who don't appreciate me, I end up being taken gor granted and walked on....I think I need to be a bit mor like you.
@@LMiller363 You may have saved many by being like this, I certainly have been saved by people like you. You don't need to be insensitive like I sometimes think I am. But yes, be careful. Don't let yourself be exploited by anyone even if it might mean something in the future (for example a promotion at work) its simply not worth it, loosing health, both physical and mental is a bad trade. My best wishes on your journey 🙏
found this while searching how to cope with being a horrible person
i understand what your saying I just truly don’t ever beleive that I will be a good person. I always end up hurting the ones i love most and push people away FOR NO REASON. I do it over and over again thinking sometimes it’ll be different but it never is. I always hurt them, and I don’t know how to change it
That sounds rough, not gonna lie, I don't know what to say or why I am replying, but just know that this stranger can relate and hopes you can find your way through your darkness.
same, the people i love the most, are always let down by me. its horrible. i feel like a truly bad person isnt just "haha, i punched someone because i can" but someone who looks good at first sight, but is actually a horrible person who believes they're doing something good, but is actually doing something very bad. a truly bad person isnt just bad, they're a disgusting entity. and that person is me. i dont know how to change, all the things ive done are constantly on my mind.
Just the fact that you feel remorse says you are not a bad person. You are broken. Hurt people hurt people.
@@wwqq8016 i know exactly how you feel. i have a history of making relationships and then completely shutting down from that person. it happens with friendships, my family, significant others. 3 months ago i got into a relationship, thought things would be different. fully convinced myself that i could love them, just to lose feelings for them completely as ive done so many times before. thats why im watching this video actually. i know entirely that im the problem, and also that theres no way around it. this is just how i am, im fucked up. now i have to tell this amazing person who is already so fucked up from past relationships that i cant be with him. worst part is i cant even give him a reason. i deserve everything bad that has and will ever happen to me
Me too. I hate myself so much.
I think that even if you're here watching this video it means you have a conscience and bad people certainly don't have that.
im not a bad dog, im a good dog in a small apartment
i looked up "why im not a horrible person" in hopes of finding something like this because i felt bad for not getting someone a birthday gift when they had given me a playlist for my birthday. they had payed attention to me enough to make a playlist for me that i love. they told me the songs reminded them of me. i didnt know what to give to them for their birthday. we've kind of drifted apart but i want to be friends with them again. anyway, sorry for the rant, i felt like a horrible person and i got what i needed. thank you so much for reminding me that im not a horrible person, my mind was just trained to think i was
A lot of people tell me I’m a bad person sometimes I say things that I don’t mean to some people that take it the wrong way. It’s not me feeling it also it’s people telling me I am. I don’t feel like making friends anymore because I feel I’m going to say something they won’t like and I already have enough enemies 😞
So. Much. Respect.
I dont even think I'm a bad person I know I'm a bad person
i rewatch this video now and again, it's sad.
You are not your brains slave. The brain is only a tool.
Thank you so so much!
Thank you!
I love you man for telling me this truth - i sort of just rewatch this video a few times to reassure myself. Thankyou
Genius analogy! Especially in regards to our children, given a clean slate at birth… what happens is up to us no matter where they begin.
Thank you, this, this really helped...
thank you so much for this!
It’s impossible to be healthy when you think that you are a bad person. Wow. Don’t make me cry dude
I'm literally thinking am i bad person
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you for this
thankyou !!
Im a horrible person
I'd like to thank my mom for bringing me here today. With that one lecture she gave me a close to 2 years ago. I didn't think it would stick with me for this long but I've been stuck on the idea that I'm this horrible unlikable toxic and annoying person. And I hate myself for it
I'm stuck in the middle. I wouldn't say that I'm completely a bad person. I'd say I have bad qualities. In the past I've been unaware of my ignorance and ego. But now that I'm aware about it, I can't seem to change it. I feel like I'm pretending. I plan of Doing something good but automatically end up doing something else. It's like a robot that has gained Conciousness but can only act according to howit's programmed. I just don't know anymore.
This has a lot of meme potential
its really hard not to think of yourself as a bad person when the people you used to consider extremely close friends have turned against you, Im used to not being liked by most people, ether because of my interests, the way i look ect.. i dont care about there opinions because i recognize that i dont need there good opinions, everyone has opinions and it doesn't make them true. but im not used to very close friends doing that, well EX friends i should say. il stop beating around the bush, i basically had my first ever friendship breakup recently and it feels like ive been trapped in a box. it doesnt matter what i do anymore good or bad im always going to be viewed as a horrible person because everyone likes my ex friends thus backs them up and ive had to rebuild my social life from the ground up. ive tried pretending as if i like being viewed as the bad guy and just revel in it but its honestly made me feel worse. long story short thank you this helped me allot.
That's.. wise
Thanks bro
thanks
There are no immoral people, only immoral actions. And I think it's important the kind of argument you give in order to resolve the intellectual contradiction with two humans acting very differently. The dog analogy is good illustration of how a person's actions might not be at all reflective of their potential. I also believe that an absurd love of your present self and your current decisions is always justified and is a good way to function.
However, just as there is a problem with blaming immoral actions on one's fundamental nature, there is also a problem with blaming immoral actions on one's circumstances. In fact, it's the same problem: they aren't what's bad. The actions are what's bad. You are the origin of your actions. But you aren't going to defeat causality or determinism. There is no point in trying to understand yourself as an automaton, or an object, or an animal. The point is in understanding the actions themselves.
Part of loving yourself is giving equal weight to the "desirable" and "undesirable" parts of yourself. If you hear "oh, don't worry, you were only doing this undesirable thing because you were exposed to the unfortunate environment of hearing the fantastic explanation of why it's great" then your first response shouldn't be "Oh damn, better make sure I never hear or think about that fantastic explanation ever again, I'm sure that will help resolve my internal conflict!" The fact is that everyone does what they do for a reason. Not a reason like their environment, not a reason like their nature, a rational reason. The key is not to suppress that rationality, but to discover the truth, to resolve the conflict between a fantastic argument existing for performing an "undesirable" action. Often the action is undesirable in a completely different sense than it is desirable; there is no contradiction. And understanding the framing of your two perspectives is the key to resolving them.
We're the goodest girls and boys ever.
🤗❤
Society is good at making humans feel failure, rejection and shame. Which causes me to feel like a bad person. I have struggled with this for years and it got really bad for me. I started hating a good job, I really hated it. I ended up making a very poor choice outside of work that got brought in and hurt me. It mad eme feel shame and like such a bad person. I am currently struggling with it, but also realize my negative thoughts caused this. I never wanted to do anything bad, it just happened, like I had no control. Now I am rebuilding and focusing on myself, otherwise I can't be healthy.
It's 11:5 and I am feeling like I am the worst person in the world and I want to die😔my mind only thinking about death 💔🙂
I made a bad mistake and I feel like a terrible person.😔
@scar it’s normal to feel nervous dw! This exactly what happend to me last weekend and I got in a lot of trouble. I got no help with my axiaty and as I knew it I was being scolded for 2 hours straight.😔 Your parent will get mad at u but u will get better. I had nobody to help me with mine. I hope u feel better
@scar if u wanna talk to me I’m always arround
@scar this exactly what happened with my situation, another party was involved and I got yelled at by my parents and my other friends parents.
@scar good luck, your gonna need it.😔
@scar damn, idk what happened but I hope your okay and you and your friend work things out
I hate the way that I think about other people! I don’t want to blame anybody for my actions anymore! I want to take accountability! It’s hard I been having flash backs of my sister locking me in a basement and laughing at me while I’m crying and said she’d kill my mom and me while we sleep if I said anything I still don’t even believe it while I type it.. I keep doubting myself.. She manipulated my mother for my whole life and made my whole family hate me.. so much of everything is a blur , I keep blaming myself for what I went through.. I surrounded myself with friends that were just as jealous and selfish as her that used me and only hung with me when I had money or something to offer. And it seems like I’m still blaming everybody else. I don’t want To be like this.. I I’ve become this hateful horrible person !
In my Brain it’s either I’m a bad human who should die ... or I’m a good human with good intentions not better than anybody does that mean I’m a bad person or a narcissist?
A bad person wouldn’t even worry about being a bad person so the fact that you care and worries about this topic means that u aren’t bad!!
Why do I feel this way. I just want to feel normal
what if you are not in a bad environment but are still a bad person?
I wanna love my self but it just seems like everyone hates me … like I got cut off by all my long time friends for a little mistake, I met a girl n had my first sexual relationship with her n it made me happy but it all ended horribly n she just ended up thinking I’m a horrible person just like everyone else has. Even after I’ve told her ab what I’ve went thru n stuff she still try’s to make it seem like I’m the bad one even when she was the one who constantly played with my feelings and emotions, it just seems like nobody likes me n it’s cuz of me idk how to escape this I wish I just had one person to care ab me, n that person who used to do that pretty much just told me she thinks I’m worse then everyone else.
I know no one will read this( if you are then thank you) but I need to let it go ans tell someone,I was a horrible person,I hurted people that I wanted to become friends ans did something horrible to a best friend( we were a toxic friendship,she was always forgetting me to hang out with other people,and I became tired of running after her) and exaggerated a truth and she went to my house to see if I was okay( I was cutting myself at the time but it was not too deep and I told that I was at the hospital,stupid ideia but we had a fight before this and she said I was never there so I wanted revenge and did this)I'm not proud of myself,I wanted to ask for forgiveness for so long but I don't think I deserved it,like any other think I won in my life,I shut myself in a fansty world and forgot to live my life because of a mistake of my 13-14 year self,I want to get out ot this hell,is been 6 years and I am still in my fantasy world,unable to live,the ironic is that it made me cut myself deeper and harder(I don't do that anymore)
If you read this confession until the end,thank you,I am trying to change and don't become my 13 year old self,and sometimes succeeding
God bless you bro
My mom says I am a good Guy but others it's the opposite
The thing is my mother saying that i'm a bad person i gotta change myself
@@tharvindkumar9261 no don't change but evolve thé person you currently are.
You don't want to become another person.
I feel like I'm a POS. Especially when I try rk sing. Everyone tells me I'm good, but then I just do it and feel so sh*t about myself and I hate my voice. It hurts because I want to do something with singing. I can't even sing actual karaoke or to music because my voice gets stiff, flat and shake. I start shaking really bad, tense up and start freaking out, just at the sound of my voice.
I learned that I'm not my niece this when I'm surrounded by mean people
i’m a bad friend and i feel so bad
I came to the point that I searched for this because my mom always tells me that I am a bad person
Fear is bad 😇
My friends and my family always say bad stuff about me and my behaviour so sometimes I think that I might be doing something wrong and that I am a bad person as they say. But how am I going to get better? Maybe that's who I really am, a bad person.
Man i just Talked to my boss, and i said that i was relly sick, and that i couldent go to work to day, but she got kinda frustrered, because i Told her to late, and that some else had to go to work now.. and yaa, i know its not cool, but i Tryid Carling her Yesterday, bus she dittent have time to talk.. and now i just feel like a bad person.. maby i should have taking The shift.. Its just, if i go i just start panicning and crying... I just couldent make my self be hornets and say that ist because og my anxety that i couldent go.. but am gonna be more hornets for now on, just sad that i enden like this, and that i lied.. just feel like The worst person
I’m just such a bad person. I’m so rude to everyone. I think I own everybody. I could be laughing with them for a second and the next I couldn’t hate them more.
I’m a horrible person. I don’t even know what higher power thought it was a good idea to give me life.
there is no good or bad there just is
I am a bad person, no matter how much I try to fix myself I cannot. I fight with my mother, call her things I never want to, and I end up crying myself to sleep. I fucking myself I don’t understand why I’m so rude to my mom, she’s never done anything wrong she’s been the best she can be. I don’t have the guts to tell her I’m sorry but she always accepts me. Why am I so fucking useless
this doesn't make you a bad person, the reason perhaps you're reacting in such a way with your mother, or fighting with her is because you expect more from your mother than she can give.
Either your dealing with some issues and you expect your mother to know all the right answers, and when she doesn't, you get irritated and lash out
or she replies in the best way she can but again its not sufficient so you get irritated and the argument starts.
You need to set realistic expectations from her, the problem is, she also does want to help you fix your problems but she is unequipped but her love for you doesn't stop her trying.
Also try apologise once or twice, let the love for your mother be more than you shame of the argument to allow you to say sorry out your mother.
just my input, sorry if i got it wrong or misunderstood you, just trying to help
I think there's good intention in this logic, but when we are comparing ourselves to an animal, and we say that we shouldn't be mad at an animal for X, it's the owner's fault - we ARE the animal AND the owner.
People who are mad about who they are are mad at themselves for letting themselves down with improper life choices or thought, and I think this point is missed.
Being a horrible person has nothing to do with being good or bad. Good and evil don't exist . Only perspective exists . If you put 5 minutes of thought in to that you will understand, and if you put as much thought as I have in to the idea you understand humans as a whole .
I can write a billion words in a comment section that no one will ever read, but I won't. Unless someone asks me to explain lmao.
I used to believe all humans are evil but I realized they are just self serving. Peoole join together over the perspective they share
: (
Aaa, not convincing. Well, dogs do not have a mind, so they act according to their instinct. I am a human, I have a mind, and I am supposed to be able to adapt.
Thank you, I appreciate this, i still hate myself, i'm the worst
I'm gonna cry... I don't work hard towards my goals.. I stay at my mom's house... I hate myself... It's just something stops me from working hard.. Idk man... I would rather die than living my whole life with my mom's support... I'm a looser... I don't even have the courage to kill myself.. It would have been better if I wasn't even born 💔
Not true at all,
I hope you are doing better, it’s sad to hear you feel this way.
This is your first time existing and experiencing, I’m sure you have been through some devastating things. And you’re just trying to navigate life and that’s okay.
I'm a digusting creature.
I am extremely bad person
There's no bad people it's the actions that the people do that are bad.
Humans are not any type of an animal.
What if I’m adolf hitler and Jeffrey Epstein mixed together
I-
Why?
You don’t like Jews and you do like kids?
@@leonrififi3543 Jeffrey Epstein was a jew, so that's a bit of a weird combination.
nah dude I am a bad person for sure
Am I a bad person for this? I'm very very tempted to tell a high-ranking chef at my job that I almost got hit by a car. She'd given me what I felt was an unfair lecture. She corrected me on my mistakes in the office but _not_ in a sensitive, respectful way. And then the next day, she asks "How are you?" Like, WTF? If she actually thought I would say good after the day before, she's not sane. Now, still feeling hurt and disrespected, I think the reason I want her to hear how I almost di ed is because....I'm gonna say it...I think she kind of deserves it. I wouldn't fault someone for insulting and hurting me if I did it to them first. Heck, if someone I disliked almost DlED, I would stop thinking badly of them and appreciate them a lot. That's another reason to tell the chef I could've been kiIIed. Does my spite make me a bad person? I'm not even writing the context to the whole story, for the sake of avoiding length and repelling readers.
Nah I still am a bad person. I simply want it to end you know. Don't want this any longer.
But some people are bad ppl. I live in a coubtry were ppl are deeply racists. Are they good people?
Ummm so ya I did kill like 500 people but I am not that bad
Going crazy
My family is Muslims and they found out that I am a gay, I feel so sick because they told me "You have disfigured the family and brought shame" I'm really disappointed that they don't like me and I can't change me, no buddy will love me.
Thank you so much!