The Real Reason Its Hard To Be Alone After Divorce
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- The Real Reason It's Hard To Be Alone After Divorce" explores the emotional challenges of solitude after a breakup. In this video, we dive deep into why loneliness feels overwhelming after a divorce and offer actionable tips to help you cope with this difficult transition. Whether you're struggling with isolation, self-reflection, or finding your identity again, this video provides valuable insights to support your healing journey.
Watch the FREE Masterclass: How to Take Back Control Of Your Life After Divorce
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Your happiness, health and success do not need to be tied to the thoughts, actions or emotions of a woman. Your relationships can be rich, intimate and satisfying without being codependent.
I’ve had the privilege of seeing men of a vast range of ages, religions, life circumstances break free from the codependent cage our culture normalizes and enjoy life and love in a healthier way. I can help you do the same, starting right here with this free masterclass that will show you how to get your ex out of your head and your life back on track:
Free Masterclass: HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
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Additional Resources
GET ACCESS TO THE BETTER BEYOND DIVORCE ROADMAP & APP NOW:
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Guide: Emotional Stages of Divorce for Men & How to Heal within Each Stage
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Dating After Divorce Checklist: Are you ready to date after your divorce?
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Helpful Books for Divorced Men (affiliate links)
► The Full Body Presence - Gives gentle, accessible exercises for somatic processing of emotional pain and trauma
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► The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time
amzn.to/3F326IS
► Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Concrete tools and exercises for rewiring the brain and reimagining your sense of self and purpose
amzn.to/3BaDyg9
► Legendary - Inspiration and a powerful perspective for stepping into your potential
amzn.to/3H6ofsF
► The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture - Brilliant, in every way. This is an amazing resource for understanding yourself and your ex wife and finding the clarity or compassion you need to forgive.
amzn.to/3UxdsuC
► Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Help - Intense and well researched. I would recommend this book when you are past the early stages of divorce and have a stable support system in place.
amzn.to/3VNMOi7
I’m Rachael Sloan, Master NLP Practitioner, certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce. I've helped hundreds of men move past the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and after a divorce, to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. I hope to help you do the same.
DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment.
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Thank you Rachel for these videos. I am going through a divorce and I feel so alone and am struggling to eat/sleep/think etc. You are helping me to get through each day.
Hi Rachael -- Watched this again. Shame comes like waves - we are ok some days and then overwhelming sadness of what has happened, cannot come to grips with the reasons and the observation that the person who wanted the divorce seems to be thriving - while we on the other side not only have to deal with what was forced on us but also deal with additional self-doubt. There is envy that our still married friends are enjoying life with a partner and we are now alone by no choice of ours. But there is truth in that when we do not succeed and try with what we felt was our hardest - we feel disappointed. But this is different - we did not only try -- but we loved the person that has trampled our commitments and love. Shame is a fair word to use about my feelings. All my efforts were "not good enough". Heard it every week. But I'm glad to bring it out and discuss. I agree we only heal when face it all. Thanks for your videos - watch them all.
The number one best way to avoid divorce? Do NOT get married. In the current western society there is absolutely no benefit to any man getting married. Instead, spend your time and money building hobbies and making friends.
yeah feminism destroyed everything so just don't play the game
No not shame but a sense of great loss. It is not shame when you can discuss it openly, it is much more like losing a loved one. The person you know and loved have passed away and replaced with often times a monster. May start off as shame or the 7 stages of grief but ends in a great loss.
Do u not understand how shame is connected to the great loss? Shame covers a broad spectrum….expand ur understanding and u will see what she is saying is on point
No. I deserve better. I deserved at wife is fun, open minded to new experiences and less stabburn
This so profoundly explained my feelings and experiences regarding my past and the breakdown of my marriage. Ive watched all of your videos over the last 5 weeks, and this one hit me like a truck and landed deeply in my heart.
Thankyou Rachael ❤ you’ve been an anchor for me over easily the worst period of my life so far.
You're welcome, Daniella. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I'm glad the videos have helped.
Do you have a good support system as well? It can make such a difference in times like this.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach an excellent system around me, that I took immediate action to put in place as I knew I would fall and fall hard.
You have played a huge role as part of my digital ‘A Team’ when the moments of grief are beyond capacity, and the loneliness takes it’s aching toll, your female voice of understanding and comfort in a strange male experience is a godsend. I very rarely comment on RUclips videos, if ever, but I just wanted to let you know your content is profound, consistent, honest and reaches across the span.
Hugely underrated and that is likely due to mens natural proclivity to not seek proper support in this torrid process, but you are a front runner and doing amazing work.
@@daniellawrence4956 thank you. Your words gave me goosebumps. I'm thrilled to hear that you have gathered a good circle of support around yourself, and I'm honored to be a part of the digital team!
"You see, there's something wrong with you. You're not enough." Didn't expect to have my mind read.
The house is not empty. I live under a different roof after 26 years and 2 adult children! It’s as if I had lived 26 years of illusion.
The voice that she wasn't the one was with me throughout my marriage. I married her because she had some good qualities and she was the best option: 20 years of no sex
I can only image that insight was a difficult one to face. Do you have some support for yourself in processing that and moving forward, hopefully into a more fulfilling relationship?
If you'd like to go a bit deeper with me, I'm hosting a free workshop starting this week. You're welcome to join in! resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop
I am seeing a therapist to control my emotions and to let her go. After all, I was the one who threw the D card several times due to my unhappiness and she picked the card and found a lawyer. At the age of 68 but with a mindset of 28 it will be a tough transition. But I have the support of my friends. What's more our two adult kids were not surprised at the news
Thank you !
You're welcome! I'm glad it was helpful.
If you'd like more, next week I'm hosting a free, live workshop, where you'll get more tools, perspectives and resources for healing.
You can register here if you'd like to come! resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop
Shame? That's what I heard for years == how ashamed I should be for the way I was. Faithful, never missed a birthday, anniversary, payments-- years of marriage counseling alone (because she did not believe in it). what did I get back? Blame, critical comments non-stop, and discovery of a multi-year affair. Finally, a letter from her attorney wanting to dissolve the marriage. In spite of all this, I do feel shame - but why?
Nah, the only shame is in not recognizing the signs from the ex that they were trying to tell you for years as they tried and tried before giving up. That’s the real shame🧐.
That is often a huge piece of it. And incredibly hard to face for a lot of people. Thank you for mentioning it. Probably worth a video or several just on that subject!
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Yes , that is the critical failure point, how many marriages could be saved if only the communications had worked and the messages that were being sent for years were heard , understood, acknowledged and acted on. The leaver tried and tried and tried to save it but to no avail until too late. If only the blindsided had heard the signals, well actually they did hear but didn’t understand the significance. I think the one consistent message from those who leave is they tried and tried. I look forward to those videos , ya might save some marriages🤔
Exactly. So you have to ask yourself why you ignored those flags and put up with that which you shouldn't have put up with. Take accountability for that and learn from that
I think OP is missing the root of failing to see your partner's signs, which is shame. To acknowledge your partner's complaints means you have to be willing to accept you may be the problem which in turn would open up the flood gates of acknowledging there may be something wrong with you. Your ego defends itself from that flood by living in denial and willfully ignoring anything that may start to put cracks in the dam.
@@CallsItLikeISeizeIts there's another side of the cycle too - if only the leaver knew how to communicate in a way their spouse could hear. When I explore this with clients it is nearly always a two sided cycle, where the ways in which both sides are trying to communicate are being missed by the other.
Thanks again for bringing it up. I've added it to my content list.
In the meantime, if you're interested in any deeper emotional regulation work, I'm hosting a free workshop starting week. I'd love to have you join if it sounds interesting to you: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop
Yes I’m chuck fill of shame!!! I lost control. I controlled my ex because I was afraid she would leave me one day AND SHE DID!!!! I constantly voiced my disapproval of her having only divorced women friends, including the last one that divorced her husband at the time she became friends with her. She suggested she “try” another man she was working with at her office. He desired my wife, she gave in and I was shown the door. Her last words to me were If you were in a lineup of 10 men you would come in dead last. Her friend encouraged her to screw this man. Must have worked because they have been married since our divorce and she loves him.
Hitting the wall hard
I'm sorry to hear that. It's so hard... and it does help to have support and at least not have to be alone in the loneliness, if that makes sense.
I'd like to invite you to the free workshop I'm hosting this week and next - it's a deep dive into working through these feelings, and it will also introduce you to a supportive community of men who get it.
If you'd like to join us you can register here: ources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop