Laura! It’s not hormones, This is Burnout!! I hear this tone of your voice. It’s parent burnout. You have two kids, but soooo much more is trying to pull your attention. My wife and I call it “fractured thinking” you can’t even finish a though before something else demands your attention. it causes burnout soo fast. You have too much going on. I know you have all these things you love, but I would recommend cutting out at least one thing that pulls your attention. You need time to just exist. And yes, sleep.
Maybe you’re simply not ready for a relationship. When my son was young, I decided to stop being in a relationship, until he was grown and out of the house. I chose my son and I, over “dating”. It truly was the best decision for the both of us. I also know I set a great example on what not to tolerate and that I didn’t need anyone but God and my son. Sadly, many can’t be alone with themselves. I actually prefer my own company, rather than settling. lol. My son is 26 years old now and I am still single by choice. It really isn’t a bad thing. ❤
My daughter is 20, & I’m a single mom who made similar choices. No regrets on choosing to be single over settling, MANY years of enjoying my own company & learning to embrace the solitude. Wish it was more culturally & socially acceptable to remain single by choice for life if wanted. Thanks for sharing, sending love. ❤
Awesome. Totally agree as I did the same for my son and I. Now at. Ugh gag. 59. My autistic son and I live with the most wonderful man. He stepped up from the start. My son going to be 28. Is thriving working and living a wonderful life life because if the choices I made and the standard I set. You go girl. Oh. And Laura. Just think of the children right now. The rest will fall into place in. Your higher powers time ♥️
Yeah girl, you don’t need to be in a relationship right now. You should be alone for a while so you don’t have to constantly be consumed by your partner. I am the same way - codependent AF and it sucks. No matter how much work you do in therapy, once you are in a romantic relationship, that codependency aspect of your personality rises to the top, and you have to constantly fight it and it’s exhausting and it’s so hard. It’s constant and consuming, and the only way to avoid it is to not allow that type of relationship. At least until you are in a better, stronger, more stable place.
I struggle in relationships too. Im 34 and im about to just say F it and get a puppy and just opt out. I dont trust any man and they all watch porn. I cant be with a porn user. It kills romance and my security in the relationship and all guys say they are happy to quit in the beginning but as soon as you dont perform like a porn star for them the porn stars start calling. Im sick of going through the same thing over and over. Ive learned that its totally okay to feel repulsed by your partner watching porn. But will i regret it at 50? I guess i can adopt or foster kids if i really feel like i need one. Western men & women are going through a crisis.
Don't give up. Try interacting with a different type of group of ppl like in church etc. You don't even have to be Christian. Just think there are many types of cultures and people. Life offers endless possibilities. We put the limits on ourselves. You can even up and leave to a different town or a different country if you want.
I think you’re perceiving yourself as in competition with porn performers, which isn’t necessarily the case. In most cases, porn is primarily a masturbation tool. Masturbation is not in competition with sex with the partner. Of course it’s ok to feel repulsed by the thought of your partner looking at porn, but maybe the insecurity surrounding that is an issue? I was on the other end of that, I had an ex bf who was extremely jealous of me masturbating, with or without aid. For me, I learned that unless it’s a pathological issue (addiction or harming others), masturbation is part of your bodily autonomy and it feels violating for someone to monitor and control how you engage with yourself on your own time, so to speak. I know some guys are obsessed, think porn is reality, and set unrealistic, dumb expectations, but that’s not the norm, those are just idiots. Plenty of men out there who occasionally watch porn but prefer you any time, and don’t bring that nonsense into your private lives.
I've been single 5 years... It's honestly really hard to even think about having a man around at this point. Although I do want that father figure for my daughter (and another kid would be nice 😅) just the thought of dating freaks me out tho.
@@shyllalynch4754 I feel you, I've been feeling like it would be nice to have a man around to help me but I can always get a repair man or something. I am also very spiritual and think the universe will send me someone amazing when the time is right.
@@shyllalynch4754 step dads can be pretty awful once you have another kid with them. They favor their own kid over yours. I know some people say step dads can be great but more often then not the dynamic is crap for the step kids.
My two cents - you need to focus on your mental health and your kids right now, not another relationship. You need to work on you right now and being comfortable on your own and in your own skin and clarifying who you really are and what you really want first before getting into another relationship.
I think the codependency with your ex is weighing heavily on you. It’s almost so heavy I can feel it. You deserve to pursue your passions and creativity without an abuser in your ear 24/7. I saw a very very ugly few clips of him on Instagram? He came unglued because u were collabing with someone else. Very scary how he reacted, I truly worry for you and the kids’ safety. Please be honest with friends and family as to what’s really going on, I just think you would be so much more present, happy, joyous and free without that boat anchor!!! No hate to him, he’s a very sick man tho….. you and the kids deserve peace and to be put first. I 100% believe the right guy is out there!!
I do not agree with respectfully. I think they are both dealing with their situation as they see best. Yes you may see some really bad stuff with him (Stephen) but you do understand Laura isn’t an angel
You write similar things about Steven on EVERY single video Laura posts we get it you don't like the guy but he's her kids father and seems a great father at that they are doing thier best i think Laura knows best what she and her children need .
I've been divorced for 2 years, separated longer than that. I have a 10 and 15-year-old. I am SO okay with not dating right now. It feels right just focusing on me and them. I just tell myself when I'm ready to date, I'm ready. Whenever and if ever it happens, it's all good!
Girl...I spent my life going from one toxic relationship to the next.. I am 50 now, single for the first time & LOVING it... I finally am putting myself first. My relationship with my (grown) kids is better than ever and I'm invested in my grandkids lives. Took 50 years but better than never. One thing though...with the right person the relationship will be easy 💕
How you think u can have a relationship when your so dependent on stephen I don't know.. Not fair on partner...also don't let stephen twist it so you split up..its not healthy
Laura, I see you continue to walk on eggshells still around Stephen. Too much contact with him. Get yourself a nanny, lay down visitation schedule and stick with it. Most courts think once a week out for dinner without you, just the kiddos and every other weekend the kiddos spend at daddy’s place. I personally would never leave the kiddos alone with him ever. god knows what he does with them and verbally, how he speaks around them when you aren’t there. Also, end your working with him, in business. That is also not healthy. You can fly and succeed all on your own. I really hope you aren’t taking your life with S.H. out onto your boyfriend. It seems like he threatens you and throws you off balance consistently. If you haven’t figured this out yet, he is an abuser and master manipulator. He is all about controlling you. Plus an out an out liar and a danger to himself and others around him. I watch a few videos of his ex-girlfriends of late and he just abused and used them too. Just hoping you find your strength, your desires, your loving friends and places et al. w/out any more of Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. For some reason, he always has you where he wants you. He also has been seeing many young girls probably even before his attempted offing himself. He is not well at all. You must come into your own. You are not responsible in making him to be a decent human being. He is not capable and hasn’t been for years now, maybe in your entire marriage.
She is somehow hooked on sicko S.H. I have seen a few of his recent ex girlfriends videos who couldn’t stand his lying, cheating, smelly being. And this trying to get money from them or their family. He is an out and out user and abuser and a sex addict. I have thought all along he prefers gay men. To throw these girls up in Laura’s face is very disturbing. The good news is they all seem to disdain his sorry arse.
You mentioned to your mom on the phone last podcast that you aren’t even completely done with your divorce. I don’t think you need to be alone forever. But I do think you need to resolve your long marriage. And then spend a year or more just learning to love and care for yourself. That’s not forever at all. But jumping from one very important relationship that is ongoing, into another relationship probably was destined to be a repeat and a trigger. It will take time. And little kids take up a whole lot of time and energy. These years are so important for their learning and their bond formation etc. maybe focus on you, on coparenting, on your beautiful kids, on your parents who are going through a really tough situation right now. I think that might help growing you. You are a seeker and learner. It will be OK. It WILL. But it will take time and healing - and only you can do that. Sending peace and love.
I just got out of a bad relationship and am reclaiming myself by doing all the things I've been meaning to do but spending my energy in a bad relationship. Have a relationship with yourself! Separate as much as you can from your past relationship. You got this.
I feel like you should sit down and film a podcast with Bunnie XO so you can trauma dump and talk it out to make you feel better. I love you, Laura, not in a creepy way, but in a general way. You're doing the best you can, and you are enough ❤
My advice as a former caregiver would be to live in the moment with your dad. If he is telling you a story, just go with it. Try not to fight or argue the incorrect bits of information, within reason/as much as possible. Lastly, music is a powerful tool. Listen to what he likes, no words needed - just vibes ❤
I'm three years celibate because my trauma attracted not healthy relationships into my life and rather than do the same thing over again I thought Id better stop dating until I was healthy enough to attract something better. x
The same thing happened to me too. After two truly horrible relationships I remained single by choice for over a year and a half. I was still having sex though, not just because I wanted to, but also because in my two bad relationships, I had become emotionally overattached due to trauma, so in a way, seeing people more casually helped me practice not getting unhealthily attached and learning I didn’t have to put up with BS, I could just leave. It worked pretty well for me, because I was determined I wasn’t ready to settle. After I felt ready, I met my now long-term partner through friends. I joke I was lucky, that it works because I didn’t completely choose him myself, but that he was pre-vetted by our friends and we happened to click after all.
My children are adults now and I've chosen to be single for the last four years. Best. Life decision. Ever. I get to focus on me, casually date for fun when and if I feel like it, without the power struggles and compromises. I became exhausted too Laura, because it's actually too much work.
Beautiful lady, You need to give yourself a big ass heaping cup of GRACE. Not one mother is a perfect mother. Not one wife is a perfect wife. No husband will be a perfect husband and meet all of our needs. We all do our best. Whomever you choose as a romantic partner should complement your life not complete it. The whole “you complete me“, although some may truly feel that way, I think is an unhealthy way to live. Honestly, if that person that completes you passes away, are you now incomplete? I spent 22 years with the father of my children and the person I thought was the love of my life to be told on our way out to dinner that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. Of course, losing my appetite and going straight home and not to the restaurant, he packed his bags and left. I let him go. It hurt, but I know I deserve better than that. Of course, like all men do, he came begging back. I said no. Come to find out he is now romantically involved with men. That was a slap in the face. Your relationship only recently ended. Be kind to yourself. Continue learning about who you are and what you need, but you don’t have to analyze every single thing you do. Just do what you do & do it with integrity. Most of us out here think you’re pretty damn cool.
I was married for 46 years to a man who couldn't stop lying... About the silliest, most mundane thing and I had a terrible temper it just drove me nuts. 46 years of being driven nuts... And our kids were grown by the late '90s. At least they were out of the house so there was no excuse to hang around and I wanted to leave for so many years because I knew it was unhealthy. There was no communication. Nothing. This person just did whatever they wanted. Regardless of my opinion or what I said, he had no goals. He had no dreams. He had nothing. He lived through me and that gets exhausting. Now I should have left when my kids were little and it would have been more peaceful for them because they had to listen to our fights. It was horrible... So what's my point? My husband died 5 years ago. A few years before that I divorced him because he had gotten involved in a Nigerian Lottery scam and lost every bit of money. My kids didn't want them. I didn't want them but he ended up staying with me... We could barely keep our head above water because he was so sick with all his illnesses that he couldn't work anymore... Mind you I'm in my late '60s at the time... Ever since he passed away and ironically he passed away 5 years ago. On the 4th we were up in a mountain area just hanging out for the 4th of July and he died suddenly in my car... I had never lived alone in my life... From parents, to friends to marriage, I'd always had someone around... At 72 years old I still have to work to survive and I'm a teacher for special needs kids or I was this year I GET to do music... I don't know how much longer I can work. However, the peacefulness of my life because I don't have any friends, Is enormous... I'm making all the decisions, I'm making all the money... I'm not even half as talented and have all these creative outlets that you do. Laura... Take care of your kids. They'll be grown before you know it... Who cares about men? There aren't any choices for me now that's for sure. Old men, old women... You have so much talent. Enjoy your life with your kids and I know Steven is involved too so you got that with the kids...
She does not need him. Just normal court ordered visitation schedules. Nothing more. And she really needs to put cameras up in her home while he watches to kids. I mean cameras wherever the kids are with him. And sound for sure in knowing what he really says to them.
Me thing that I think helped me is to say to myself, whatever happens. I know I'll be okay. I was okay before and I'll be okay after. Speak to yourself in away you'd want someone to speak to your daughter. Be kind
I’m in your situation very closely and haven’t had sex or anything in four years. It’s surprisingly nice. My autistic daughter and her adhd twin (4yo) take up so much of my mind and heart the thought of having anything left over for another adult is laughable ❤
It’s hard to give time to a man when you have children s career and household to run. If the man is not making things easier then it’s not worth it. I was seeing a guy for 2 years and I found myself not feeling happy. I was spending time dating him and putting other things aside. I decided I wanted to be myself and focus on my family and friends.
You are never going to figure this out with Stephen as involved in the picture as he is. This is exactly what he wants. Your divorce still hasn't gone through and now you're making content with him again? Might as well stay married.
Let’s hope not. She needs to get him out of her life and start living her own life. Court ordered visitations mandatory. Not him coming over and staying. Judge will enforce I pray. She has tried to run this separation and it has done nothing but create more hell and fear with him around. What doesn’t she get? She risks her own mental and physical health and the possible verbal garbage he feeds the little ones. He could be indoctrinating them with lies and inappropriate actions when around them.
The difference between an argument versus a discussion is that you don't have an objective. If there is no objective you are trying to achieve, then maybe let it go. All you can do is ask for what you want. If the person cannot give you what you asked for, decide if your expectations are unrealistic. If not, then maybe you are in the wrong relationship.
OMG this is exactly what i am living in this moment!! Like do i give up and buy 100 cats and just throw in the towel. How am i supposed to know what real looks like after being married to a narcissist for 25 years and fake love bombed. I feel like nothing is ever going to feel right because i only know wrong.
Listening to a gorgeous, fit, female millionaire share some of the same struggles as me is oddly comforting. (Me: overweight & poor) Sometimes I think oh if I was skinny, pretty, &rich .. all my problems would go away… but Laura and many other rich women show us that all of the money, beauty, & fame doesn’t “fix” the human life problems we collectively experience. Thank you for expressing your authentic self with us Laura.❤ I adore everything about you.
Give yourself some time. After I had a relationship that turned horrible in the end, I went on to date and expected the same from everyone else. It took time, but after finding a truly great person, I started to come around and let go of those old expectations and I allowed him to surprise me and show me what a good partner is. We’re about to celebrate our 30th anniversary!
I have experienced all the self-critizisms and vulnerabilities you are describing. I had to learn to cut myself more breaks than I was. I don't think I was exactly built for romantic relationships either; in fact I have been happier being alone and spending time with friends, pets, and my kid for several years now. I know the partners' expectations of me were not something I could meet, and when I was younger I was fuzzy about my expectations of them. Sad, but lessons were learned. Then I got older and my physical appearance rendered me invisible to about 95% of men, which was honestly a relief because most of them didn't know how to take no for an answer, or how to respect boundaries, just a few short years ago. I like walking around looking more like a nondescript human. 😊 It causes people who are looking for anything other than friendship to simply rule themselves out; and friendship would be all I could give them anyway. I very much agree with your point about giving to others; I do that & am glad you do 💕, and it always gets my focus outside myself. Thank you for your usual candidness and bravery, in being so real and relatable. I do not believe that you have to ALWAYS be funny. You're not a trained monkey. 😂 Oh; and I came back here to edit this reply to your questions with one more thing: You don't have to sacrifice your sleep to the extent that you do. You are allowed to protect your own sleep by setting better boundaries with Alfie at night; it doesn't make you a bad mom in any way, shape or form to do so, either; in fact it might make you a better mom in the long run.
I think any parent that says They are a prefect parent is questionable! You need to teach your children what a strong independent women is! And that includes role modelling how to deal with emotions and you learning to love yourself. Not enough children have role models in their life to show them how to love themselves! To many people rely on others to make them happy! You have the power to role model incredible women! Some days you won’t feel like it! When a man is making it difficult push more boundaries on them ! PLZ PLZ please remember when you look into your daughters eyes that she’s learning from you what a healthy relationship with your self is! And with your son surround him with a tribe of strong women! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
🤗🌻 Sounds like you're a working single mom, we all have issues, you're not alone! And you're very successful with two book deals. In a way that's unrelatable to probably all of us. Still wish you all the best.
Laura, you need to find yourself. You need to not make the same mistakes. I’d strongly suggest you back out of all romantic relationships. Take a break.
That supplement needs to be magnesium glycinate. It promotes relaxation and while it is not a hallucinogenic or a drug, most people experience vivid dreams.
I could honestly see you healing this past year and a half but then you got jealous over Stephen’s exes and you let him weasel himself back in. He’s doing a number on you because that’s what people like him do. But you already know that. You know. So either this whole thing is got content or he really is controlling you again and you are consciously letting him because you think it’s easier for the kids to
I was a caregiver for my Dad who had dementia and Parkinson's. He lived with me for 2 1/2 years until the hospital gave him sepsis and died at 92. I have now learned that Lipator can have a dementia side effect. I wish I knew this years ago. The doctors had him on so many meds. Please look into that.
I think you need to be confident and love yourself before you can have a good relationship. I’m married, but I love my alone time and I know that if something were to happen with our marriage I would be fine. I don’t fear being alone and don’t need a man for anything, I would be perfectly content. I think you need to get to that place where you can taken them or leave them. You need to know who Laura is, what is she about? What does she like and not like? You need to love yourself.
My guess is you got married or into a committed relationship young and so you’ve not lived more than half your life single and alone. There is a difference between alone and lonely.
@@stephanieburgess8217 actually I didn’t get married until I was 40. And I’ve spent a lot of time being single, which is the best thing I did. I learned about myself, who I am.
I had to walk away from the man I loved dearly 11 years ago due to his alcoholism. He was in AA when I met him and he was sober the first 6 years we were married. I stayed 7 more years through active alcoholism trying to live him back to health. Leaving him was one of the saddest days of my life. He died of alcohol poisoning 3 years ago. I’m now 62 and I did a man a couple of years ago but my heart just wasn’t in it and I too, attract some of the most sickest, neediest men. These last 11 years have been a healing journey that for me, meant I needed to stay away from relationships. Now that I’m in my 60’s it doesn’t bother me at all and I’m perfectly fine being alone.
My grandma had dementia and it was a rude adjustment for her and I. But I finally came to a realization that she was living her best life because all the shitty things (people , family, work) she endured she couldn't remember and every day was a brand new day for her. I consider it God's gift to her on the way out. I miss her every day🥲
I have severe horrific graphic night terrors mixed with parasomnia where I sleep walk, sleep talk and act out what's happening in my night terrors and believe they are real because, to me, they are very real.. I also have severe sleep apnea and fully stop breathing around 51 times every hour.. So all of this makes me feel like I've ran a marathon in my sleep and makes me so severely sleep deprived that I start hallucinating during the day.. FML
I can totally relate. I also have sleep apnea (have slept with a CPAP machine for the past 6 years! I will say, after you get used to wearing the mask, cleaning the tubing, mask and machine, buying the distilled water to fill the humidifier, making sure the filters are always changed, it's not so bad.) But I also get HORRIFIC AWFUL GRAPHIC NIGHT TERRORS TOO! I had some yesterday while I was napping and then when I went to bed last night I had a "continuation" of the same dream I had earlier which was even spookier! If you have sleep apnea and aren't using a CPAP, I highly recommend getting a sleep study done and getting a CPAP machine. You are no longer waking up gasping for air or struggling to breathe. While my quality of sleep isn't perfect, it's definitely better than what it was before I got my CPAP machine. Also, Ambien extended release is a life saver at helping me fall asleep and stay asleep but that is getting a bit harder for me now that I'm starting to go through perimenopause. Oh and Xanax IS A GOD DAMN LIFE SAVER! WITHOUT IT I WOULD EXPLODE AT EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING! I also have CPTSD and it can be debilitating at times. Wishing you good dreams and sleep!
About dementia- I spent my teen years caring for my grandmother (who was a second mother to me) with dementia. The best I can give is know it’s ok to be frustrated with them internally sometimes and it doesn’t make you bad- but also understand that they genuinely believe what they are saying. It’s less like brain fog and forgetfulness and more akin to psychosis in that, they haven’t just forgotten, whatever they’re saying is genuinely the world they live in. So just be in the moment with them. They’re laughing at nothing? Looks like you’re laughing at nothing. They think they’ve eaten but they haven’t? Ok sure you’ve eaten but how about you sample this dish that I made and see what you think. You gotta play along where best you can because they don’t have the means to process like we do. Also, be kind to yourself and make sure your mum gets breaks to look after herself and has people to talk to. It’s really hard, love to anyone affected x
I'm doing the solo thing myself for the same reason. It's more peaceful and less stress by myself. I've learned to be happy with myself and not needing one else to do it for me. Love yourself FIRST !!!!!!! After that it all falls in place 😊👌
He could have been speaking light language. Look it up. My children did when they were under 7 and then a couple years ago I started speaking it! Activations happening all over the plan•et He may be activating you by speaking it.
I like how your podcast is REAL. A lot of the ones I watch are interviews and are kind of uplifting and positive, but I like how you just tell how you feel. A lot of people can relate to you. It is not a faked podcast where we feel as the listener that you are just putting on a show.
You're a good mom, sometimes we all feel we fall short. I was codependent as well at one point and all of a sudden I snapped out of it. It doesn't always work that way. But, I realized those relationships weren't fulfilling me because I wasn't personally fulfilled. It's hard to be funny when life isn't always funny. I still like your skits and think you're funny!
My husband and I sound like your sister and her husband in Oregon. (I am a former Oregonian though haha) We solve our issues by recognizing when we get triggered and what we need in those moments. Sometimes I need space, especially when I’m upset and not ready to talk. Everyone is different. Sometimes we are like whoa we’ve been together a year and a half and still discover a new trigger. It’s how do we recover and deal with them together. I agree that relationships are about supplements.
Don't feel bad for this episode not being super funny. It sounded like this is what you needed & this helped you process & reset your mindset a bit. Also, most of what ppl talk about in therapy is about relationships. Theyres nothing wrong w/ you that that's what yours seems to be about right now. You've obviously got a lot of things to work out. Only be single if that what you want. Not if you think you don't deserve to be. You are worthy. If its meant to be w/ this guy, he'll stick around while you heal & grow. If not, you'll still learn something from it. Take care, Laura! ❤
Another thing is How do you become truly authentic with one’s self when your job is social media/ influencer??? I think that mental battle and pressure of perfectionist with beauty standards. The battle of trying to keep a connection with fans and having time to please everyone. I see a lot influences even those on RUclips doing all sorts of different videos battling with the deep since of the tie not doing enough and highly critical on themselves. I hear them trying justify themselves and talking about how they promise they do more to please every request fans as them. I’m seeing a pattern Nothing is ever enough!
You have no Idea of all the happiness that is waiting for you!! It gets better! I've been through something very similar to what you are going through. I hated the phase you are currently in. Now my life is so much more peaceful and nice. There are new people in my life I didn't know I was gonna meet. My carreer is completely different. I have a codepent but happy and healthy relationship. Yes it is possible. A therapist told me maybe I didn't need to fix myself just find someone who Can meet my special needs. So I'm still crazy but I'm loved and all my needs are met so I don't hate my crazy. It doesn't make me suffer.
Single or in a relationship Laura you’re doing great. We all struggle with relationships.. no one’s perfect and if they’re in a good stage it takes some work to get there. Your sisters life sounds wonderful but I’m sure even they have disagreements. Not sure.. maybe a bit of a break from it all would be good for you. ❤
After literally decades of never being alone for more than a few weeks in between long term relationships, I'm now finally happy on my own. I can give love and I can recieve love, but I've learnt I'm just absolutely miserable in relationships and I don't want to do that to myself again. Some people tell me: "Oh, don't worry, you will find someone you can be happy with." Yes. That someone will be me. Why do we need to have a partner to be considered whole?!?
when i cants sleep at night i tell my inner thoughts to shush and its ok to sleep and it really does help a lot. everything is ok.. its ok to sleep. sometimes it is that simple
Laura I closed my FB page. It was unhealthy for me! But I want to be connected with you outside of FB . I can relate to your son very well. And love to watch him flourish ! You always made my days Laura ! Thank you for all those days
One of the best loves I have had was not reciprocated. It showed me that I could love someone fully for who they are without expecting anything back from them fully. I respected his boundaries, of course but I didn’t push aside my feelings he was in another relationship after I had had a crush on him and I wasn’t jealous at all and I even supported him in it. I just wanted him to be happy but it showed me that I could love this then once it is reciprocated, it’s going to be the most amazing love. Trust your gut, there’s a lot of people out there that don’t know how to love.
You are pretty much 'dating' two men at the same time, except the only difference is now you are not sleeping with Hilton anymore. From what I can see online these days with the amount of time you spend with him and talking about him when you are not with him well, he may as well be your 'boyfriend'. 🤪
Hi, my name is Denise Smith and now happily married. Before I was in a sleezy relaltionship and before that I was widowed. This was my son's dad. He had a very dangerous anger issue. I decided to not date for awhile. I went out with guys once and awhile with a "safe" guy for dinner or some other event. I just wanted to raise my son and spend my time with my other single friends. We traveled and did what we wanted within my budget. It was great ! About 10 years later I met my husband. I knew he was the one. Giving myself the time I needed helped. Do not worry about tomorrow or the future. Live for today with your friends and children. Sounds like you are thinking in the right direction
First of all I LOVE YOU LAURA would recommend the kids sleeping in their own beds so you can get sleep! You guys can still cuddle before bed and during the day. I promise it’s what’s best for them too, it creates healthy habits and they sleep better too they won’t get up in the middle of the night to come to your room once they know it’s not aloud any more. If you need help watch supernanny. I also agree with a comment above, I think you want a good co parenting relationship with Stephen but toxic is toxic and it’s stressing you out. It’s super normal to feel how you do about your relationship. I relate to you SO much after getting out of a 7 year relationship it was all I’ve known! You are an inspiration
I am so happy you talked about this because I feel this so much and I would wonder if I was alone feeling this.. Ever since I was beat and almost killed by a past relationship I have always thought anyone I even feel a little for i just instantly think they could kill me too.. they could punch me in the face too.. they could hit me with their car too.. I get scared so I back away from every single one. Then being a mom to an autistic 9 year old son I worry about dating and if they would beat him.. i just can't... it just hovers over me.. so I've been single for 10 years and i just feel like maybe I'm better alone too So at least if we are all alone, then we are at least all together in that ❤
My dad was recently diagnosed with early onset alzheimers and he's declining everyday. I burst into tears all the time thinking about what he's feeling, our memories together, what the future holds. I'm a mess. How do you cope? I need a support group or something
Have you ever thought about one of those therapeutic Psilocybin retreats? Something like that might help you break out of these self loathing patterns of thinking. You are so not alone in how you feel ❤
I tried telling u😢. Cut the cord. Live ur life. Just u and the kids. Get life going for u three. And if u find time. Find a man and only till ur world is right
The only way through it is to find something to smile through it and laugh deeply through it. The trick of life is to be happy, and when you’re smiling and laughing for REAL, then you’ve found the secret to life. I am practicing not allowing my sorrow and pain swallow me whole, so I’m practicing on smiling and laughing w a deep belly laugh laughter. Maybe we can both practice the secret to life? Being happy!?
I still can’t sleep and my kids are older. It’s a real problem. I think my brain is desiring peace and alone time from over stimulation. That and stress keeps me up and my brain is on fight or flight ❤ I feel I’m failing at everything. I’m struggling. Including romantic relationships. You are not alone. You are not crazy. It’s the fast paced world and demands needed to get by these days. I wish I had an answer for you. You have us (sorry it’s the good and the bad).
Don't give up, there's no guarantees in life. You don't have to give up happiness, the guy you pick might not be perfect but no one is, if he loves you for who you are, that's one of the best parts, you will know no rush just live. Your great about giving advice what would you say to someone in your shoes. You always have honest and great advice Laura.☺️
Laura! It’s not hormones, This is Burnout!! I hear this tone of your voice. It’s parent burnout. You have two kids, but soooo much more is trying to pull your attention. My wife and I call it “fractured thinking” you can’t even finish a though before something else demands your attention. it causes burnout soo fast. You have too much going on. I know you have all these things you love, but I would recommend cutting out at least one thing that pulls your attention. You need time to just exist. And yes, sleep.
The ex is a toxic noose around her neck. He will never let her go.
7:04 Your like most really...we had other things to do. We just do.
Your right.😊
All junkies go through burnout!
I think having a break from any romantic relationship and enjoying your kids and space is really helpful. Personal experience
Maybe you’re simply not ready for a relationship. When my son was young, I decided to stop being in a relationship, until he was grown and out of the house. I chose my son and I, over “dating”. It truly was the best decision for the both of us. I also know I set a great example on what not to tolerate and that I didn’t need anyone but God and my son. Sadly, many can’t be alone with themselves. I actually prefer my own company, rather than settling. lol. My son is 26 years old now and I am still single by choice. It really isn’t a bad thing. ❤
My daughter is 20, & I’m a single mom who made similar choices. No regrets on choosing to be single over settling, MANY years of enjoying my own company & learning to embrace the solitude. Wish it was more culturally & socially acceptable to remain single by choice for life if wanted. Thanks for sharing, sending love. ❤
Awesome. Totally agree as I did the same for my son and I. Now at. Ugh gag. 59. My autistic son and I live with the most wonderful man. He stepped up from the start. My son going to be 28. Is thriving working and living a wonderful life life because if the choices I made and the standard I set.
You go girl.
Oh. And Laura. Just think of the children right now. The rest will fall into place in. Your higher powers time ♥️
@@cheshirecatswiftie beautifully said sweetie ♥️
@Godisgreat-777 best desicion ever. Wonderful
So very true! @@shelbyrobson8130
Yeah girl, you don’t need to be in a relationship right now. You should be alone for a while so you don’t have to constantly be consumed by your partner. I am the same way - codependent AF and it sucks. No matter how much work you do in therapy, once you are in a romantic relationship, that codependency aspect of your personality rises to the top, and you have to constantly fight it and it’s exhausting and it’s so hard. It’s constant and consuming, and the only way to avoid it is to not allow that type of relationship. At least until you are in a better, stronger, more stable place.
I struggle in relationships too. Im 34 and im about to just say F it and get a puppy and just opt out. I dont trust any man and they all watch porn. I cant be with a porn user. It kills romance and my security in the relationship and all guys say they are happy to quit in the beginning but as soon as you dont perform like a porn star for them the porn stars start calling. Im sick of going through the same thing over and over. Ive learned that its totally okay to feel repulsed by your partner watching porn. But will i regret it at 50? I guess i can adopt or foster kids if i really feel like i need one. Western men & women are going through a crisis.
Important point.
Don't give up. Try interacting with a different type of group of ppl like in church etc. You don't even have to be Christian. Just think there are many types of cultures and people. Life offers endless possibilities. We put the limits on ourselves. You can even up and leave to a different town or a different country if you want.
Hun you will regret it more if you spend years with thee wrong man.
I think you’re perceiving yourself as in competition with porn performers, which isn’t necessarily the case. In most cases, porn is primarily a masturbation tool. Masturbation is not in competition with sex with the partner. Of course it’s ok to feel repulsed by the thought of your partner looking at porn, but maybe the insecurity surrounding that is an issue? I was on the other end of that, I had an ex bf who was extremely jealous of me masturbating, with or without aid. For me, I learned that unless it’s a pathological issue (addiction or harming others), masturbation is part of your bodily autonomy and it feels violating for someone to monitor and control how you engage with yourself on your own time, so to speak. I know some guys are obsessed, think porn is reality, and set unrealistic, dumb expectations, but that’s not the norm, those are just idiots. Plenty of men out there who occasionally watch porn but prefer you any time, and don’t bring that nonsense into your private lives.
I stopped dating over a year ago and it was the best choice for me. I'm a single mom and just focus on myself and my kids. ❤❤❤
Same here. I'm so happy 🥰❤️
@@lillierose5304 ✨😍🤩yay!!
I've been single 5 years... It's honestly really hard to even think about having a man around at this point. Although I do want that father figure for my daughter (and another kid would be nice 😅) just the thought of dating freaks me out tho.
@@shyllalynch4754 I feel you, I've been feeling like it would be nice to have a man around to help me but I can always get a repair man or something. I am also very spiritual and think the universe will send me someone amazing when the time is right.
@@shyllalynch4754 step dads can be pretty awful once you have another kid with them. They favor their own kid over yours. I know some people say step dads can be great but more often then not the dynamic is crap for the step kids.
My two cents - you need to focus on your mental health and your kids right now, not another relationship. You need to work on you right now and being comfortable on your own and in your own skin and clarifying who you really are and what you really want first before getting into another relationship.
I think the codependency with your ex is weighing heavily on you. It’s almost so heavy I can feel it. You deserve to pursue your passions and creativity without an abuser in your ear 24/7. I saw a very very ugly few clips of him on Instagram? He came unglued because u were collabing with someone else. Very scary how he reacted, I truly worry for you and the kids’ safety. Please be honest with friends and family as to what’s really going on, I just think you would be so much more present, happy, joyous and free without that boat anchor!!! No hate to him, he’s a very sick man tho….. you and the kids deserve peace and to be put first. I 100% believe the right guy is out there!!
I agree with you 💯
I do not agree with respectfully. I think they are both dealing with their situation as they see best. Yes you may see some really bad stuff with him (Stephen) but you do understand Laura isn’t an angel
You write similar things about Steven on EVERY single video Laura posts we get it you don't like the guy but he's her kids father and seems a great father at that they are doing thier best i think Laura knows best what she and her children need .
He was live and videotaped P completely naked. Great father? Mmm debatable @jessiemay94-
@@jessiemay94-The dude drives around stoned with them, doesn’t put seatbelts on them and loses them. But yeah, Dad of the year!
I've been divorced for 2 years, separated longer than that. I have a 10 and 15-year-old. I am SO okay with not dating right now. It feels right just focusing on me and them. I just tell myself when I'm ready to date, I'm ready. Whenever and if ever it happens, it's all good!
Yup! You’ve got this 👍🏼
Girl...I spent my life going from one toxic relationship to the next.. I am 50 now, single for the first time & LOVING it...
I finally am putting myself first. My relationship with my (grown) kids is better than ever and I'm invested in my grandkids lives. Took 50 years but better than never.
One thing though...with the right person the relationship will be easy 💕
I recently turned 50 too and single. 2 older kids 16 and 20. Life is peaceful.
How you think u can have a relationship when your so dependent on stephen I don't know..
Not fair on partner...also don't let stephen twist it so you split up..its not healthy
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Laura, I see you continue to walk on eggshells still around Stephen. Too much contact with him. Get yourself a nanny, lay down visitation schedule and stick with it. Most courts think once a week out for dinner without you, just the kiddos and every other weekend the kiddos spend at daddy’s place. I personally would never leave the kiddos alone with him ever. god knows what he does with them and verbally, how he speaks around them when you aren’t there. Also, end your working with him, in business. That is also not healthy. You can fly and succeed all on your own. I really hope you aren’t taking your life with S.H. out onto your boyfriend. It seems like he threatens you and throws you off balance consistently. If you haven’t figured this out yet, he is an abuser and master manipulator. He is all about controlling you. Plus an out an out liar and a danger to himself and others around him. I watch a few videos of his ex-girlfriends of late and he just abused and used them too. Just hoping you find your strength, your desires, your loving friends and places et al. w/out any more of Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. For some reason, he always has you where he wants you. He also has been seeing many young girls probably even before his attempted offing himself. He is not well at all. You must come into your own. You are not responsible in making him to be a decent human being. He is not capable and hasn’t been for years now, maybe in your entire marriage.
She is somehow hooked on sicko S.H. I have seen a few of his recent ex girlfriends videos who couldn’t stand his lying, cheating, smelly being. And this trying to get money from them or their family. He is an out and out user and abuser and a sex addict. I have thought all along he prefers gay men. To throw these girls up in Laura’s face is very disturbing. The good news is they all seem to disdain his sorry arse.
If you haven't, please read the book, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood! Every woman should read this!!! It is life changing!!
You mentioned to your mom on the phone last podcast that you aren’t even completely done with your divorce. I don’t think you need to be alone forever. But I do think you need to resolve your long marriage. And then spend a year or more just learning to love and care for yourself. That’s not forever at all. But jumping from one very important relationship that is ongoing, into another relationship probably was destined to be a repeat and a trigger. It will take time. And little kids take up a whole lot of time and energy. These years are so important for their learning and their bond formation etc. maybe focus on you, on coparenting, on your beautiful kids, on your parents who are going through a really tough situation right now. I think that might help growing you. You are a seeker and learner. It will be OK. It WILL. But it will take time and healing - and only you can do that. Sending peace and love.
I just got out of a bad relationship and am reclaiming myself by doing all the things I've been meaning to do but spending my energy in a bad relationship. Have a relationship with yourself! Separate as much as you can from your past relationship. You got this.
Great advice ♥️
I feel like you should sit down and film a podcast with Bunnie XO so you can trauma dump and talk it out to make you feel better. I love you, Laura, not in a creepy way, but in a general way. You're doing the best you can, and you are enough ❤
Yes @BunnieXO
My advice as a former caregiver would be to live in the moment with your dad. If he is telling you a story, just go with it. Try not to fight or argue the incorrect bits of information, within reason/as much as possible. Lastly, music is a powerful tool. Listen to what he likes, no words needed - just vibes ❤
Wow thank you.
I needed this advice honestly thank you too.
I'm three years celibate because my trauma attracted not healthy relationships into my life and rather than do the same thing over again I thought Id better stop dating until I was healthy enough to attract something better. x
The same thing happened to me too. After two truly horrible relationships I remained single by choice for over a year and a half. I was still having sex though, not just because I wanted to, but also because in my two bad relationships, I had become emotionally overattached due to trauma, so in a way, seeing people more casually helped me practice not getting unhealthily attached and learning I didn’t have to put up with BS, I could just leave. It worked pretty well for me, because I was determined I wasn’t ready to settle. After I felt ready, I met my now long-term partner through friends. I joke I was lucky, that it works because I didn’t completely choose him myself, but that he was pre-vetted by our friends and we happened to click after all.
My children are adults now and I've chosen to be single for the last four years. Best. Life decision. Ever. I get to focus on me, casually date for fun when and if I feel like it, without the power struggles and compromises. I became exhausted too Laura, because it's actually too much work.
Beautiful lady, You need to give yourself a big ass heaping cup of GRACE. Not one mother is a perfect mother. Not one wife is a perfect wife. No husband will be a perfect husband and meet all of our needs. We all do our best. Whomever you choose as a romantic partner should complement your life not complete it. The whole “you complete me“, although some may truly feel that way, I think is an unhealthy way to live. Honestly, if that person that completes you passes away, are you now incomplete? I spent 22 years with the father of my children and the person I thought was the love of my life to be told on our way out to dinner that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. Of course, losing my appetite and going straight home and not to the restaurant, he packed his bags and left. I let him go. It hurt, but I know I deserve better than that. Of course, like all men do, he came begging back. I said no. Come to find out he is now romantically involved with men. That was a slap in the face. Your relationship only recently ended. Be kind to yourself. Continue learning about who you are and what you need, but you don’t have to analyze every single thing you do. Just do what you do & do it with integrity. Most of us out here think you’re pretty damn cool.
I was married for 46 years to a man who couldn't stop lying... About the silliest, most mundane thing and I had a terrible temper it just drove me nuts. 46 years of being driven nuts... And our kids were grown by the late '90s. At least they were out of the house so there was no excuse to hang around and I wanted to leave for so many years because I knew it was unhealthy. There was no communication. Nothing. This person just did whatever they wanted. Regardless of my opinion or what I said, he had no goals. He had no dreams. He had nothing. He lived through me and that gets exhausting. Now I should have left when my kids were little and it would have been more peaceful for them because they had to listen to our fights. It was horrible... So what's my point? My husband died 5 years ago. A few years before that I divorced him because he had gotten involved in a Nigerian Lottery scam and lost every bit of money. My kids didn't want them. I didn't want them but he ended up staying with me... We could barely keep our head above water because he was so sick with all his illnesses that he couldn't work anymore... Mind you I'm in my late '60s at the time... Ever since he passed away and ironically he passed away 5 years ago. On the 4th we were up in a mountain area just hanging out for the 4th of July and he died suddenly in my car... I had never lived alone in my life... From parents, to friends to marriage, I'd always had someone around... At 72 years old I still have to work to survive and I'm a teacher for special needs kids or I was this year I GET to do music... I don't know how much longer I can work. However, the peacefulness of my life because I don't have any friends, Is enormous... I'm making all the decisions, I'm making all the money... I'm not even half as talented and have all these creative outlets that you do. Laura... Take care of your kids. They'll be grown before you know it... Who cares about men? There aren't any choices for me now that's for sure. Old men, old women... You have so much talent. Enjoy your life with your kids and I know Steven is involved too so you got that with the kids...
She does not need him. Just normal court ordered visitation schedules. Nothing more. And she really needs to put cameras up in her home while he watches to kids. I mean cameras wherever the kids are with him. And sound for sure in knowing what he really says to them.
Me thing that I think helped me is to say to myself, whatever happens. I know I'll be okay. I was okay before and I'll be okay after. Speak to yourself in away you'd want someone to speak to your daughter. Be kind
@@theresamontgomery6708 oh oh. That’s so good!!
I’m in your situation very closely and haven’t had sex or anything in four years. It’s surprisingly nice. My autistic daughter and her adhd twin (4yo) take up so much of my mind and heart the thought of having anything left over for another adult is laughable ❤
Omg!! Totally agree my 28 yr old autistic son still with me. We’re both thriving ♥️
It’s hard to give time to a man when you have children s career and household to run. If the man is not making things easier then it’s not worth it. I was seeing a guy for 2 years and I found myself not feeling happy. I was spending time dating him and putting other things aside. I decided I wanted to be myself and focus on my family and friends.
👏👏👏👏💯
You are never going to figure this out with Stephen as involved in the picture as he is. This is exactly what he wants. Your divorce still hasn't gone through and now you're making content with him again? Might as well stay married.
Let’s hope not. She needs to get him out of her life and start living her own life. Court ordered visitations mandatory. Not him coming over and staying. Judge will enforce I pray. She has tried to run this separation and it has done nothing but create more hell and fear with him around. What doesn’t she get? She risks her own mental and physical health and the possible verbal garbage he feeds the little ones. He could be indoctrinating them with lies and inappropriate actions when around them.
You don’t need to date! Just exist and be a mother and a sister and an aunt and a friend, that’s plenty to keep you fulfilled and busy.
It's hard to have a new relationship when your ex husband is glued to your hip.
The difference between an argument versus a discussion is that you don't have an objective. If there is no objective you are trying to achieve, then maybe let it go. All you can do is ask for what you want. If the person cannot give you what you asked for, decide if your expectations are unrealistic. If not, then maybe you are in the wrong relationship.
Another 2/3 years and life will be different as your kids are still very young “ hang in there “ 💜
OMG this is exactly what i am living in this moment!! Like do i give up and buy 100 cats and just throw in the towel. How am i supposed to know what real looks like after being married to a narcissist for 25 years and fake love bombed. I feel like nothing is ever going to feel right because i only know wrong.
Listening to a gorgeous, fit, female millionaire share some of the same struggles as me is oddly comforting. (Me: overweight & poor) Sometimes I think oh if I was skinny, pretty, &rich .. all my problems would go away… but Laura and many other rich women show us that all of the money, beauty, & fame doesn’t “fix” the human life problems we collectively experience.
Thank you for expressing your authentic self with us Laura.❤
I adore everything about you.
Give yourself some time. After I had a relationship that turned horrible in the end, I went on to date and expected the same from everyone else. It took time, but after finding a truly great person, I started to come around and let go of those old expectations and I allowed him to surprise me and show me what a good partner is. We’re about to celebrate our 30th anniversary!
@@Wendy-oj7cb yes sweetie awesome. I’m doing the same. I 59 and finally living my true self ♥️
I have experienced all the self-critizisms and vulnerabilities you are describing. I had to learn to cut myself more breaks than I was.
I don't think I was exactly built for romantic relationships either; in fact I have been happier being alone and spending time with friends, pets, and my kid for several years now. I know the partners' expectations of me were not something I could meet, and when I was younger I was fuzzy about my expectations of them. Sad, but lessons were learned.
Then I got older and my physical appearance rendered me invisible to about 95% of men, which was honestly a relief because most of them didn't know how to take no for an answer, or how to respect boundaries, just a few short years ago. I like walking around looking more like a nondescript human. 😊
It causes people who are looking for anything other than friendship to simply rule themselves out; and friendship would be all I could give them anyway.
I very much agree with your point about giving to others; I do that & am glad you do 💕, and it always gets my focus outside myself.
Thank you for your usual candidness and bravery, in being so real and relatable.
I do not believe that you have to ALWAYS be funny. You're not a trained monkey. 😂
Oh; and I came back here to edit this reply to your questions with one more thing:
You don't have to sacrifice your sleep to the extent that you do. You are allowed to protect your own sleep by setting better boundaries with Alfie at night; it doesn't make you a bad mom in any way, shape or form to do so, either; in fact it might make you a better mom in the long run.
I think any parent that says
They are a prefect parent
is questionable!
You need to teach your children what a strong independent women is!
And that includes role modelling how to deal with emotions and you learning to love yourself.
Not enough children have role models in their life to show them how to love themselves! To many people rely on others to make them happy!
You have the power to role model incredible women! Some days you won’t feel like it!
When a man is making it difficult push more boundaries on them !
PLZ PLZ please remember when you look into your daughters eyes that she’s learning from you what a healthy relationship with your self is!
And with your son surround him with a tribe of strong women!
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
🤗🌻 Sounds like you're a working single mom, we all have issues, you're not alone! And you're very successful with two book deals. In a way that's unrelatable to probably all of us. Still wish you all the best.
Laura, you need to find yourself. You need to not make the same mistakes. I’d strongly suggest you back out of all romantic relationships. Take a break.
If its exhausting, he isnt the good one for you, and yes kids take time, do whats good for you..
That supplement needs to be magnesium glycinate. It promotes relaxation and while it is not a hallucinogenic or a drug, most people experience vivid dreams.
So relatable (and healing). Thank you
I could honestly see you healing this past year and a half but then you got jealous over Stephen’s exes and you let him weasel himself back in. He’s doing a number on you because that’s what people like him do. But you already know that. You know. So either this whole thing is got content or he really is controlling you again and you are consciously letting him because you think it’s easier for the kids to
Dump his sorry arse for heaven’s sake. Stop working with him. Is the 3 months trial working together over yet?
I was a caregiver for my Dad who had dementia and Parkinson's. He lived with me for 2 1/2 years until the hospital gave him sepsis and died at 92. I have now learned that Lipator can have a dementia side effect. I wish I knew this years ago. The doctors had him on so many meds. Please look into that.
I think you need to be confident and love yourself before you can have a good relationship. I’m married, but I love my alone time and I know that if something were to happen with our marriage I would be fine. I don’t fear being alone and don’t need a man for anything, I would be perfectly content. I think you need to get to that place where you can taken them or leave them. You need to know who Laura is, what is she about? What does she like and not like? You need to love yourself.
My guess is you got married or into a committed relationship young and so you’ve not lived more than half your life single and alone. There is a difference between alone and lonely.
@@stephanieburgess8217 actually I didn’t get married until I was 40. And I’ve spent a lot of time being single, which is the best thing I did. I learned about myself, who I am.
I had to walk away from the man I loved dearly 11 years ago due to his alcoholism. He was in AA when I met him and he was sober the first 6 years we were married. I stayed 7 more years through active alcoholism trying to live him back to health. Leaving him was one of the saddest days of my life. He died of alcohol poisoning 3 years ago. I’m now 62 and I did a man a couple of years ago but my heart just wasn’t in it and I too, attract some of the most sickest, neediest men. These last 11 years have been a healing journey that for me, meant I needed to stay away from relationships. Now that I’m in my 60’s it doesn’t bother me at all and I’m perfectly fine being alone.
My grandma had dementia and it was a rude adjustment for her and I. But I finally came to a realization that she was living her best life because all the shitty things (people , family, work) she endured she couldn't remember and every day was a brand new day for her. I consider it God's gift to her on the way out. I miss her every day🥲
I have severe horrific graphic night terrors mixed with parasomnia where I sleep walk, sleep talk and act out what's happening in my night terrors and believe they are real because, to me, they are very real..
I also have severe sleep apnea and fully stop breathing around 51 times every hour..
So all of this makes me feel like I've ran a marathon in my sleep and makes me so severely sleep deprived that I start hallucinating during the day.. FML
I can totally relate. I also have sleep apnea (have slept with a CPAP machine for the past 6 years! I will say, after you get used to wearing the mask, cleaning the tubing, mask and machine, buying the distilled water to fill the humidifier, making sure the filters are always changed, it's not so bad.) But I also get HORRIFIC AWFUL GRAPHIC NIGHT TERRORS TOO! I had some yesterday while I was napping and then when I went to bed last night I had a "continuation" of the same dream I had earlier which was even spookier! If you have sleep apnea and aren't using a CPAP, I highly recommend getting a sleep study done and getting a CPAP machine. You are no longer waking up gasping for air or struggling to breathe. While my quality of sleep isn't perfect, it's definitely better than what it was before I got my CPAP machine. Also, Ambien extended release is a life saver at helping me fall asleep and stay asleep but that is getting a bit harder for me now that I'm starting to go through perimenopause. Oh and Xanax IS A GOD DAMN LIFE SAVER! WITHOUT IT I WOULD EXPLODE AT EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING! I also have CPTSD and it can be debilitating at times. Wishing you good dreams and sleep!
About dementia- I spent my teen years caring for my grandmother (who was a second mother to me) with dementia. The best I can give is know it’s ok to be frustrated with them internally sometimes and it doesn’t make you bad- but also understand that they genuinely believe what they are saying. It’s less like brain fog and forgetfulness and more akin to psychosis in that, they haven’t just forgotten, whatever they’re saying is genuinely the world they live in. So just be in the moment with them. They’re laughing at nothing? Looks like you’re laughing at nothing. They think they’ve eaten but they haven’t? Ok sure you’ve eaten but how about you sample this dish that I made and see what you think. You gotta play along where best you can because they don’t have the means to process like we do. Also, be kind to yourself and make sure your mum gets breaks to look after herself and has people to talk to. It’s really hard, love to anyone affected x
I'm doing the solo thing myself for the same reason. It's more peaceful and less stress by myself. I've learned to be happy with myself and not needing one else to do it for me. Love yourself FIRST !!!!!!! After that it all falls in place 😊👌
I loved this. Thank you for being so honest and open.
He could have been speaking light language. Look it up. My children did when they were under 7 and then a couple years ago I started speaking it! Activations happening all over the plan•et
He may be activating you by speaking it.
I like how your podcast is REAL. A lot of the ones I watch are interviews and are kind of uplifting and positive, but I like how you just tell how you feel. A lot of people can relate to you. It is not a faked podcast where we feel as the listener that you are just putting on a show.
❤️
oh I understand so much ❤❤ your amazing remember that 🎉🎉 I feel so overwhelmed with everything .. Especially the stupid flights....
So crazy that they are 5 and 3 now! Time flew. 😮
You're a good mom, sometimes we all feel we fall short. I was codependent as well at one point and all of a sudden I snapped out of it. It doesn't always work that way. But, I realized those relationships weren't fulfilling me because I wasn't personally fulfilled. It's hard to be funny when life isn't always funny. I still like your skits and think you're funny!
My husband and I sound like your sister and her husband in Oregon. (I am a former Oregonian though haha) We solve our issues by recognizing when we get triggered and what we need in those moments. Sometimes I need space, especially when I’m upset and not ready to talk. Everyone is different. Sometimes we are like whoa we’ve been together a year and a half and still discover a new trigger. It’s how do we recover and deal with them together. I agree that relationships are about supplements.
I’m convinced that we are all the same person. All I want is to eat good food, do yoga, and spend time with my kid as well. 😅
How can we make this happen
Your kids deserve the very best you and your time. Wait until they are grown.
Sublingual vitamin B12 drops berry flavor it's the best. That's the only way I survive on little to no sleep
I 100% have sworn off men
Don't feel bad for this episode not being super funny. It sounded like this is what you needed & this helped you process & reset your mindset a bit. Also, most of what ppl talk about in therapy is about relationships. Theyres nothing wrong w/ you that that's what yours seems to be about right now. You've obviously got a lot of things to work out. Only be single if that what you want. Not if you think you don't deserve to be. You are worthy. If its meant to be w/ this guy, he'll stick around while you heal & grow. If not, you'll still learn something from it. Take care, Laura! ❤
Please don’t collaborate with your ex.
1:01 The answer is coffee for me! Also I am way too flipping emotional to be in a relationship. This is why I am 34 and single! 😂
Another thing is
How do you become truly authentic with one’s self when your job is social media/ influencer???
I think that mental battle and pressure of perfectionist with beauty standards.
The battle of trying to keep a connection with fans and having time to please everyone.
I see a lot influences even those on RUclips doing all sorts of different videos battling with the deep since of the tie not doing enough and highly critical on themselves. I hear them trying justify themselves and talking about how they promise they do more to please every request fans as them.
I’m seeing a pattern
Nothing is ever enough!
Great that Alfie taught himself to swim 😊❤
You have no Idea of all the happiness that is waiting for you!! It gets better! I've been through something very similar to what you are going through. I hated the phase you are currently in. Now my life is so much more peaceful and nice. There are new people in my life I didn't know I was gonna meet. My carreer is completely different. I have a codepent but happy and healthy relationship. Yes it is possible. A therapist told me maybe I didn't need to fix myself just find someone who Can meet my special needs. So I'm still crazy but I'm loved and all my needs are met so I don't hate my crazy. It doesn't make me suffer.
I remember you saying, ‘One day at a time’. I take that advice to heart.
Single or in a relationship Laura you’re doing great. We all struggle with relationships.. no one’s perfect and if they’re in a good stage it takes some work to get there. Your sisters life sounds wonderful but I’m sure even they have disagreements. Not sure.. maybe a bit of a break from it all would be good for you. ❤
Also, I can't wait to read your books! I will be purchasing all of them, including the children's book for my kiddos!
After literally decades of never being alone for more than a few weeks in between long term relationships, I'm now finally happy on my own. I can give love and I can recieve love, but I've learnt I'm just absolutely miserable in relationships and I don't want to do that to myself again.
Some people tell me: "Oh, don't worry, you will find someone you can be happy with." Yes. That someone will be me. Why do we need to have a partner to be considered whole?!?
Laura, you are my fave person ever. And remember, it's okay to not be okay. ❤
when i cants sleep at night i tell my inner thoughts to shush and its ok to sleep and it really does help a lot. everything is ok.. its ok to sleep.
sometimes it is that simple
Laura I closed my FB page. It was unhealthy for me! But I want to be connected with you outside of FB . I can relate to your son very well. And love to watch him flourish ! You always made my days Laura ! Thank you for all those days
One of the best loves I have had was not reciprocated. It showed me that I could love someone fully for who they are without expecting anything back from them fully. I respected his boundaries, of course but I didn’t push aside my feelings he was in another relationship after I had had a crush on him and I wasn’t jealous at all and I even supported him in it. I just wanted him to be happy but it showed me that I could love this then once it is reciprocated, it’s going to be the most amazing love.
Trust your gut, there’s a lot of people out there that don’t know how to love.
I learned “I GET to…” in program. It helps me stay in gratitude instead of self pity and resentment. It’s lovely.
You are pretty much 'dating' two men at the same time, except the only difference is now you are not sleeping with Hilton anymore.
From what I can see online these days with the amount of time you spend with him and talking about him when you are not with him well, he may as well be your 'boyfriend'. 🤪
I don’t think you’re ready.
You’ll know when you are. A relationship doesn’t equal happiness ❤
You r really amazing, I just love watching you 💕
We love you Laura ❤❤❤
If I don't get enough sleep, my anxiety is through the roof, and I'm easy to cry. It's not good at all for me.
You wont have a happy relationship while you & Steven are still so co dependant. X
Youre killin it and everyday is a new day. Let it out its healthy to talk things through. 😘
I just read the book "How to Keep House While Drowning" and I really think that you might like it.
You're never alone ❤❤❤❤ Love you
This was sort of just what I needed to hear today. I’m sorry you’re feeling off, but your words and thoughts did help me. 😊
Thanks for this
Hi, my name is Denise Smith and now happily married. Before I was in a sleezy relaltionship and before that I was widowed. This was my son's dad. He had a very dangerous anger issue. I decided to not date for awhile. I went out with guys once and awhile with a "safe" guy for dinner or some other event. I just wanted to raise my son and spend my time with my other single friends. We traveled and did what we wanted within my budget. It was great
! About 10 years later I met my husband. I knew he was the one. Giving myself the time I needed helped. Do not worry about tomorrow or the future. Live for today with your friends and children. Sounds like you are thinking in the right direction
First of all I LOVE YOU LAURA would recommend the kids sleeping in their own beds so you can get sleep! You guys can still cuddle before bed and during the day. I promise it’s what’s best for them too, it creates healthy habits and they sleep better too they won’t get up in the middle of the night to come to your room once they know it’s not aloud any more. If you need help watch supernanny. I also agree with a comment above, I think you want a good co parenting relationship with Stephen but toxic is toxic and it’s stressing you out. It’s super normal to feel how you do about your relationship. I relate to you SO much after getting out of a 7 year relationship it was all I’ve known! You are an inspiration
I believe it my period will have me crying watching commercials that aren’t even sad!
I am so happy you talked about this because I feel this so much and I would wonder if I was alone feeling this..
Ever since I was beat and almost killed by a past relationship I have always thought anyone I even feel a little for i just instantly think they could kill me too.. they could punch me in the face too.. they could hit me with their car too.. I get scared so I back away from every single one.
Then being a mom to an autistic 9 year old son I worry about dating and if they would beat him.. i just can't... it just hovers over me.. so I've been single for 10 years and i just feel like maybe I'm better alone too
So at least if we are all alone, then we are at least all together in that ❤
My dad was recently diagnosed with early onset alzheimers and he's declining everyday. I burst into tears all the time thinking about what he's feeling, our memories together, what the future holds. I'm a mess. How do you cope? I need a support group or something
Thank you so much for letting me see things differently from I have to do something to I get to. I’m really going to try that.
Have you ever thought about one of those therapeutic Psilocybin retreats? Something like that might help you break out of these self loathing patterns of thinking. You are so not alone in how you feel ❤
Hormonale and lack of sleep will play on your mentality.
I tried telling u😢. Cut the cord. Live ur life. Just u and the kids. Get life going for u three. And if u find time. Find a man and only till ur world is right
That’s cowards way out need to keep the vows.
@@RichardTClark396 she has already slept with someone new and another one. No vows left sir
Can’t wait to see your book! ❤❤❤❤
I know just how you feel Laura….. thinking of you ❤️
The only way through it is to find something to smile through it and laugh deeply through it. The trick of life is to be happy, and when you’re smiling and laughing for REAL, then you’ve found the secret to life. I am practicing not allowing my sorrow and pain swallow me whole, so I’m practicing on smiling and laughing w a deep belly laugh laughter.
Maybe we can both practice the secret to life? Being happy!?
I still can’t sleep and my kids are older. It’s a real problem. I think my brain is desiring peace and alone time from over stimulation. That and stress keeps me up and my brain is on fight or flight ❤ I feel I’m failing at everything. I’m struggling. Including romantic relationships. You are not alone. You are not crazy. It’s the fast paced world and demands needed to get by these days. I wish I had an answer for you. You have us (sorry it’s the good and the bad).
Thinking of you, Laura ❤
I honestly think just focus on being mom and yourself and peace is a good idea. You are in the thick of parenting !
Just sending my love, Laura. ❤❤
Don't give up, there's no guarantees in life. You don't have to give up happiness, the guy you pick might not be perfect but no one is, if he loves you for who you are, that's one of the best parts, you will know no rush just live. Your great about giving advice what would you say to someone in your shoes. You always have honest and great advice Laura.☺️