I was day of coordinator for my friend's wedding back in 2018. It was an unplugged wedding ceremony (no cameras or cell phones). There was a sign and I made an announcement. Towards the end of the ceremony a woman starts filming with her cell phone. I politely and quietly ask her to put her phone away. She replies "I know the groom". I sternly and softly stated, "The bride and groom have authorized me to enforce the no cameras rule however I deem necessary." She lowered her camera. Great list!
@@SjofnBM1989 At least...one would HOPE that they know the people getting married... I have known people to just randomly show up at a church when a funeral or wedding was being held. Didn't know anyone or anything. Weird.
Three weddings that I helped set up (most everything was DIYed) everything was organized in boxes and clearly labled. Either all the glasses for the centerpieces were all together, OR every item for each table was put together in one box per table. It helped immensely when we only had two hours to get the ceremony space set up.
The "Can you JUST.." thing should be something that everyone should eliminate from their everyday vocabulary. I'm a graphic designer working with other non-creatives and it's a daily thing to hear "Can you just..." "Sure buddy.. I'll wave my magic wand and JUST do that complicated change for you". Thanks for the great video!!
My mind (being not confrontational) would rather say “Is it possible to make this happen?” As in are you the right person to ask this question? I totally agree with dropping the “just” but I feel finding a more humble way to ask is important when you’re not trying to be rude.
My mother was head of costumes for a studio ballet. One teacher made her a "Wand of Just(ice)" (decorated flyswatter) because so many people were asking her if she "could just (insert time consuming unexpected project)". That phrase still makes her cringe.
I used Green Envelope and lovvvvved them! All of my guests did too, even older family members who I was worried would have a hard time with it. I loved all the customizations, that it notified you when people opened the invites, gave you the ability to link your website, link locations, send reminders for responses and details. It's so so so worth it! Plus I saved so much!
I worked as a day of coordinator for several years and 100% agree about the rehearsal. Nothing would frustrate me more than rehearsals. People are never on time, and “on time” for me meant being there within 15 minutes of our start time and so often the bridal party wouldn’t listen or was already tipsy. I would secretly start steaming when we’d be 30 minutes after our initial start time and people (a lot of times the bride/groom too) weren’t even on site yet. It’s so disrespectful of the coordinators time.
Jamie, I hired a wedding planner but I have done the majority of the planning and booking my venue and vendors because I keep finding better rates with vendors than her referrals. Is this at all typical in your experience? I don't want her to feel like I am purposefully leaving her out or not trusting her, but I keep doing my own research and finding things myself. Any advice?
I think one thing to keep in mind is potential quality! I am a harpist for weddings and there is a vast difference in quality between a harpist charging $75 and a harpist charging $350+ for a ceremony. Sometimes the wedding planner might not have worked with the person you found- or maybe they have and that person is a high schooler who has never played at a wedding and doesn't know what's going on! Just things to keep in mind!
@@harpist.vanessa Yes, totally get that! But in my situation that isn't really the case. For example, my wedding planner suggested hiring a specific DJ through this company and then i found a way to hire him directly for half the price. I have also been able to successfully negotiate prices with some vendors.
@@chelsear4292 You probably didn't need a wedding planner.... you probably just needed a partial planner or a day of coordinator that works with you 1 month before the wedding to make sure the day goes smoothly.
This is one of her most honest direct videos when it comes to a topic it made me like her even more cause you can tell these pet peeves bug her and you know with good reason each one of these things would big the crap out of me if people did them.
As someone who works with contracts day in and out for people who never read them, I’ve found that deal memos are extremely helpful! It’s a doc that highlights all the key points of the contract that I send out before sending the full agreement. I know you didn’t ask, but just an idea I’ve found saves so many unnecessary conversations 😅
My wedding planner makes me run all contracts by her and makes sure I understand all the gritty details before signing and putting down money. This alone is such a huge help!
My wedding in in THREE WEEKS.! I got in touch with the lady that is supposed to do mine and my bridesmaids hair and SHE TOLD ME SHE COULDN'T! SHE WASN'T EVEN GOING TO MENTION IT! But luckily she put me in touch with someone else and it's all good. Just annoying 😋
Don’t apologize for this video! So many people out there lack empathy and literally have never put a thought into how other people may feel or work. And not even in a mean way, they just don’t think about it. This was great!
This is so helpful! Any chance you could do a video on that to expect of a day/month of coordinator vs. a full wedding planner? I have a month of coordinator and I don't want to bother her too much with emails but I do want her recommendations for vendors, since I'm choosing them now! She said she would email them to me and she hasn't yet. Stuff like that makes me wonder if it's because I'm not paying for full planning.
Unsolicited advice: First look wasn’t a thing when I got married-so that might figure in, but maybe the bride should just plan to be ready 45-60 min before the wedding because yes, some people annoyingly came to where I was getting ready, but there were a few people I needed/wanted to see and then it got rushed and I was sorry for that. Wedding planners weren’t really a thing either, so I had no guard at the door, but unless you were my Aunt I’d never met or the woman who was my second mom in high school, (sorry) I didn’t want to see you before my wedding. 🤭 As I think back, I have to laugh because I had a revolving door of people come in. And stay. I was pretty good with details for my wedding, but I didn’t see that one coming! In the end, though, it’s a funny memory-just wish I’d been prepared for it.
This is why I didn't tell people other than the wedding party where we were getting ready. I have a few family members that don't know what boundaries are let alone how to respect them.
I’m terrible on the phone, I almost prefer emails but I still would rather call and make life easier on everyone over comfort my shyness. But that’s just me
I like everything in email because I forget details frequently and it's easier than taking notes during a phone call + I work nights and I'm never awake during business hours. Makes a great excuse because I also just get anxiety making phone calls lol
My boss used to do this. It meant she was fine with option A and stopped reading. But that is something we had to work out. I would also color-code my e-mails, which she hated, but if I had 3 topics I needed her input/approval on, I needed her to see that right off the bat.
Hi Jamie (and all you other lovly people) First, thank you so much for all your advice. Me and my boyfriend are getting married in February. We live in Denmark and therefore we do weddings a little (a lot) different then in the US. We are doing our wedding even more different than the “normal” Danish wedding. Instead of gifts we wish for our guests to bring food. We will be about 50-60 people and when we tell our family and friends about our wish for the food, they LOVE it. It makes the whole thing more down to earth and more us. How are we gonna pull this off you ask? We tell all our guests in the invite our plan for the food and when we know who is coming, we will send out what we would like for each household to bring and for how many. For an example: potato salad for 20 people, roast for 15, smoked salmon and bread for 15 (maybe a recipe or two if we want to be specific) We are doing buffet style and a lot of the diches are cold. Our vendor has a kitchen for us to use if something has to be reheated. In the Nordic countries we are in general very responsible people, so we are not afraid that someone won’t bring what we asked. We are of cause giving “the important diches” to the people closest to us (our parents and close friends) My best friend actually insisted on making our wedding cake when we told her about our food idea. She worked in pastry and baking business for many years and she really loves the job of making edible art. Both our families love food and cooking, and we pour a lot of love into our food so this way we can have a lot of love in the room in the form of good food. This may be such a crazy thing to do at a wedding (we have never been to wedding that did this before) but we think it’s manageable and its gonna make the day even more special. We just wanted to tell you about a different way of doing the food for a wedding that we haven’t heard you talk about on your channel. All the best Vibeke and Andrias Ps. I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors. English is my second language out of four, so sometimes they get mixed up.
Our wedding in 1991 was something like that. The community Hall was $50 to rent and had a kitchen too. No regulations or requirements to have a licensed cater or bartenders. My mom asked certain family members & friends if they would like to cook something and she bought or paid them for the ingredients if they wanted. It was something like a “pot luck”, but most guests were not aware of that. Some people offered or were asked to bring a salad, fruit or jello salad. It definitely eased the financial burden & made the work involved much easier-together. $1,000 wedding reception! FYI: that same hall in 2023 is only $100 to rent too! Too bad so far away, as our daughter is planning her wedding now and the outdoor pavilion is $4,000 (includes tables/chairs, tablecloths/napkins & a day of coordinator).
I work with emails alllll day. You can send long (ish) emails, but you need to use paragraphs, bullets, headers, or list (1,2,3) questions to separate your thoughts. There is a big difference between a blob of words and separated organized thoughts.
@@fashionforwardable I definitely sent it in paragraphs with the heading that she asked, bullet points and sent attachments of photos she asked for. Lol. Thank you for your reply. It was definitely easier in person and...we gotta adjust and do our best 🥰🥰🥰
By the way, “There is no ‘just’” has been a massive help for me professionally. I never noticed I did it before, and now I catch it all the time! I’m sure my colleagues appreciate you pointing this false idiom out to me!
Hello. I accidentally purchased the master plan and can’t access it now. I don’t know where to go to sign in or anything. Every time I click the link it tells me to purchase it but I already did
Jamie, my venue stated they prefer my “wedding coordinator with a licensure or insurance” is wedding coordinator licensure/insurance a thing?? The venue wasn’t specific about this on the contract, it just said coordinator preferred. My coordinators helped coordinated several weddings and they aren’t licensed/insured. How do I go about this 😅
Ask your wedding coordinator to provide a certificate of insurance to the venue. If the coordinator doesn't know what that is, ask her to call her insurance company and ask what that is. If she says she can't do that, it's possible she doesn't carry any insurance. It costs the Wedding Coordinator no money to have her insurance company provide a certificate of insurance to any vendor. As for a license, if she has an office/home inside the town limits she must have a business license to operate a business, some counties on the other hand (she doesn't live inside any town limits) do not require businesses to be licensed. So it just depends where her office is located.
Yes yes yes!! You hit the nail on the head. I can relate so much. I get lengthy emails all the time with over a dozen different questions that require me to do a million things to answer… and they want answers FAST. they want to know measurements of things, food allergy info, pictures sent to them, costing estimates, logistic information. SO MUCH at once. It’s overwhelming. Also- when you mentioned that we are humans too! I feel like that isn’t talked about enough. I try so hard to not get upset and frustrated when I’m dealing with personal issues (like this past week, dumping thousands of dollars into car repairs and having to scramble for rides to work.. i was flustered, stressed and my mind was partially elsewhere) and meanwhile I’m receiving unnecessarily rude voice messages and emails because I haven’t responded to their question about candles from yesterday. Like come on!!!
Ohhh I am with you on the 'justs', the day off the bride told me she just wants to have the ceremony and dinner hall set up switched and wanted me to be one to decroate everything without any knowledge of her decor items or even ideas how she wanted it set up....
I can understand you with the long emails HOWEVER I chose to write two of these to our venue, to have everything I wanted to know and the feedback in WRITTEN form so nobody can tell me that they didn’t know if sth goes wrong on our wedding date 😉🙋🏽♀️ BTW everything was in bullet points and categorized ;)
You can also send a follow up email summarizing your convo with said vendor, like “just wanted to confirm that per our conversation xyz was agreed upon” 😊 just a suggestion!
I love Jamie! I´m also an Event Planner, and even tho I work In the European Market (that is completely different from the US) I love her advice and the way she teaches future event hosts! I even started to give some of her tips to my customers and use some for myself as well! Good Job Jamie! You make us look good! ;P
I just started reaching out to venues and I'm an email person because I like to have things to refer back to, but it makes a lot of sense that most have asked to call or schedule a tour instead of giving me a list of absolutely everything I need to know!
I love this! I totally hear you on the long emails, though I have been responsible for sending them before I know the person's communication style (since some people prefer emails). In that case, I will start my long emails by acknowledging that there are a lot of details in the email and that I am happy to have a call if that's easier.
Hey Jamie I just have a quick question so I am engaged to a a sweet guy and he has a kid who’s about to be 10 are wedding isn’t until October next year after he get back from over seas but I want to make sure we make jaden (his son) feel included an not like I’m trying to replace his mom do you have any ideas I thought with you having a blended family might help thanks
I would rather send a wordy email and get a reply of "can we talk about this face to face?" than talk about it face to face and realize you're rolling your eyes internally because this should have been an email. If I'm asking face to face, there's no going back!
Hey Jamie! I follow you for years now and I love, love, LOVE your content. However, I notice you put more and more ads into your videos and it's getting a bit tedious to watch. Obviously, I know that's how you make a living, so I try and watch those ads without skipping them, but it really is getting to extreme proportions. In the end, I feel like half the time I spend watching your video is ad content. That’s a bit sad, I must admit. Just giving you a heads up how things feel on the receiving end of your channel. Apart from that, you do a wonderful job!
Ask if they are willing to give you "the cash discount". Meaning, you will not put this on a credit card where the bank gets 3% of the vendors total sale. If you pay in full, with cash (or check) at least 60 days before the ceremony, could you get 3% (or more) off of the total of your bill? That is a common and well known discount to negotiate. Don't you specify how much you want as a discount because sometimes they will offer more.
This is SO spot on. Although as a Day of Coord. I have definitely been inappropriately treated by groomsmen. Any advice on how to firmly but kindly say “no”, “not okay”?
I know you’ve said this in videos before...to take a minute and just look at everyone and enjoy the day. Can I get some more tips on that 😅 My wedding is in September 2022, and I have almost every vendor booked and paid for bc I can’t handle last minute planning. & last minute to me is within a year of big events lol. I have horrible anxiety and I feel like my wedding day will be ruined because of it. I’m not social. I don’t want to walk down the isle, talk in front of people or dance. I mean I want to, but I don’t....I’m just nervous.
OMG this is me too Marley. I feel for you, it's a blessing and a curse to have everything organised because you have anxiety, but all that empty space you're now left with gets filled with... different kinds of anxiety 😅😔
Anyone have advise about kids? I personally don’t want kids at my wedding but know some family who have children 3 and under that they can’t leave behind because the entire family is I invited...is it harsh to enforce the people with those kids to sit in the last row In the ceremony in the event the child starts crying or something that they can be asked to step out or have enough tact to just do so themselves? People with kids feel free to say in as well on how you’d feel, etc
Maybe a little harsh to enforce but perhaps say something like do you want me to reserve seats near the exit incase the little ones need a break during the ceromony? As a mom of 2 both with asd and bride to be no one in their right mind wants their kid screaming in a public setting especially at a wedding (or in my case my own lol) so I would love that idea also I like that you acknowledge that parents cant JUST get a baby sitter, any ol person like I see in alot of facebook groups people do. You could also set up a live feed if thats something that interests you and let them know that you would love to have them but if they would be more comfortable with watching the live that works too or maybe one spouse (if theres 2 parents) gets a night out on their own
i forget which video, but in one of her previous videos she said it’s great to put everything that goes together in a bin (like centerpiece items) then take a picture of what you want it to look like so they aren’t trying to figure out what you want. i thought that was a great tip!
I think Jamie said in a video maybe 2 years ago... Clear bins with labels for what's inside and where it goes for the wedding and who takes it home. Then a picture of what if should look like - this is what her client did once and she mentioned how awesome that was for everyone. I am pretty sure that's what she said... Or super organized me added stuff in... Anyways that's what they/i would do. You can never have too many lists or instructions
My god mother tried to pull me back into the dressing room while her daughter (the bride) was getting ready, and I swear her bridal party was about to rip me limb from limb. Like I'm literally just following the instructions of the only other person I know here, chill the fuck out PLEASE. So also, please God don't be that kind of "guard person", just be civil and remember that literally everyone is excited.
Was wondering if you have any tips for grooms 🥰 My fiancé and I have decided he’s in charge of all the boy things, suits etc and doesn’t know where to begin 🥰
sometimes I feel like you don’t necessarily understand that you are the one that should be in control of if your couples put things in one big messy box. This is where good communication should come in to play between you and your couples.
I agree that it is smart to communicate in advance about this. However, a wedding planner should also be able to expect from a couple adults that they are able to hand over their diy decoration in a bit of organized matter. It’s a bit weird to give your wedding planner 3 welcome signs and expect them to know what to do 🤷🏻♀️
@@heliosfromacrossastar878 I absolutely agree and understand what you’re saying, however why did the wedding planner never discuss where the couple wanted their welcome signs to go in The first place? If it’s the day of the wedding and you’re the wedding planner and you still don’t know how the place is going to look or where everything needs to go, that’s a you problem. The couples are typically waiting on the wedding planner to go over their vision with them, Seeing as how the bride is always willing to talk about her vision, but wedding planners always have very limited time for each individual client and very specific times. The burden is on the wedding planner
@@heliosfromacrossastar878 like to give you an example, this youtuber mentioned about a wedding she did where they didn’t have enough water, and to “please make sure your guests have enough water quote”... but if she’s a wedding planner, I don’t understand why so much responsibility was put on the bride. It’s not like the bride does this for a living. They don’t realize how much water their guests might need or might not need, that’s why they rely on people like wedding planners and pay them a bunch of money to tell them how much they should expect to need. If all of these things should be the brides responsibility, then what the heck does anyone need a wedding planner for
anyone watch the Audit the Audit channel by John Lang , a youtuber who talks abotu civil rights, hi can you make a review about other people's RUclips channels
I’ve seen Jamie say when launching the Master Plan that if you find her RUclips videos helpful then you’ll find the Master Plan even more so! Obviously not everything may translate into different cultures, but if what she says on RUclips makes sense for you then most of the Master Plan should too. I think it also comes with a 30 day money back guarantee in case it really doesn’t work for you. Maybe look up reviews for the Master Plan and see if anyone else mentions being international and if they found it worked for them?
Jamie has mentioned in a video that international people could benefit from the master plan but shouldn’t expect her to know about the culture’s traditions and things like that. I definitely think it could be beneficial for timeline and things like that. I would have done the master plan if I hadn’t already had a wedding planner. Would’ve saved a lot of money and I’m doing most of the planning on my own.
Oh, I wish someone would do a pet peeves for dressmaker/sewists for weddings. Oh, the things that I could tell them. Almost painful to watch this video and and the flashbacks of brides that come along with it... probably why I don't do it anymore... the asking favors, the asking to hide the last 5 pounds that they couldn't lose, the styling the toddler flower girl who doesn't want to be styled, the assuming the services that weren't agreed upon ( like asking you to dressing them and the bridesmaids), people changing their minds 5 times after you have started the work, not being prepared, not listening to basic instructions or timelines.... and on and on... Thanks for the video. :)
Jamie, I love you & your videos. However, this video .. I’m the unpopular opinion here, perhaps. I definitely see some of these points. But here’s an example from my planner and I: I love hearing her suggestions & working with her, but I also jump on wedding FB pages sometimes to connect with other brides and hear their ideas! She hates this and has called me out. I find this so disrespectful, and I have spoken to her about it. I hired her for a service. She should not be monitoring my every move nor voicing whether it hurts her feelings. And that’s my point- it’s OUR day! We HIRE you! YES people should be respectful, communicate, pay in full on time, etc. but me saying the word “just” like you mentioned? Am I supposed to walk on eggshells around this woman I hired?😅 Personally, I don’t think so! What if I made a video about how my patients should act around me as a nurse? I think about that while watching this, and it seems so backwards. Of course there are times we get frustrated at work (no matter what we do for a living), but I think the focus, especially in the service industry, should be trying to give the client the benefit of the doubt instead of getting hung up on these things. Simply food for thought! Love your work!
Yes! I definitely feel that my venue coordinator has gotten at least 100 emails from me. I feel so bad, but with so much covid uncertainty and a literal dining room remodel I have had SO many questions 😅
I love all of your content and I've been watching since the early early days. To be honest this is one of the only videos that kind of missed the mark for me. I know it's intended to be helpful but it just kind of makes me feel worried that I'll something to annoy my wedding coordinator purely because this is my first wedding I've ever planned. I think maybe some of this could have been said in a gentler way that doesn't feel quite so confrontational
I've been a sub for awhile, too, and the biggest reason why is because Jamie is so genuine; she's going to tell it like it is but her heart is always on our side. I liked that she showed us that there are things we can do to help our wedding planner to ensure that we have the wedding that we've planned for. If you get anything out of this video, please don't let it be anxiety (we have enough to worry about!), let it be the knowledge that our wedding planners will do the very best they can to help us achieve our wedding vision even if we get on their nerves. ~From one bride to another 👰🏻♀️❤💍
Curious about fake flowers for center pieces? Tacky or no? I personally want to save money anywhere I can and I'd rather have real flowers for my wedding party. Thanks!
My best friend used fake flowers. Honestly, to me (MOH, guest), it didn't matter and I got to keep my fake flower bouquet which is a lovely souvenir and I use it sometimes for house decor.
LOVE this video!! Comment for the beginning and I’m sure you agree on this. I’m a Wedding Planner and I usually save my clients more than I cost between industry connections and discounts, contract negotiations, and just industry knowledge. Also please Brides, at minimum hire a day of Coordinator! Big wedding, small wedding, low budget, no budget… a coordinator should be up there in importance right after photographer, but hire us before your photographer and we will find you the best for the best price.
I was day of coordinator for my friend's wedding back in 2018. It was an unplugged wedding ceremony (no cameras or cell phones). There was a sign and I made an announcement. Towards the end of the ceremony a woman starts filming with her cell phone. I politely and quietly ask her to put her phone away. She replies "I know the groom". I sternly and softly stated, "The bride and groom have authorized me to enforce the no cameras rule however I deem necessary." She lowered her camera. Great list!
"I know the groom."
Lmao!!! It's a WEDDING of course you know the fucking people getting married 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What a dumb excuse I'm crying laughing.
@@SjofnBM1989 At least...one would HOPE that they know the people getting married...
I have known people to just randomly show up at a church when a funeral or wedding was being held. Didn't know anyone or anything. Weird.
Good for you!
@@SjofnBM1989 lmao I was gunna say the same thing 🤣🤣
I am so embarrassed for people/ humanity that they even need to be asked to put their phones away during a ceremony of any kind
Three weddings that I helped set up (most everything was DIYed) everything was organized in boxes and clearly labled. Either all the glasses for the centerpieces were all together, OR every item for each table was put together in one box per table.
It helped immensely when we only had two hours to get the ceremony space set up.
The "Can you JUST.." thing should be something that everyone should eliminate from their everyday vocabulary. I'm a graphic designer working with other non-creatives and it's a daily thing to hear "Can you just..." "Sure buddy.. I'll wave my magic wand and JUST do that complicated change for you". Thanks for the great video!!
My mind (being not confrontational) would rather say “Is it possible to make this happen?” As in are you the right person to ask this question? I totally agree with dropping the “just” but I feel finding a more humble way to ask is important when you’re not trying to be rude.
My mother was head of costumes for a studio ballet. One teacher made her a "Wand of Just(ice)" (decorated flyswatter) because so many people were asking her if she "could just (insert time consuming unexpected project)". That phrase still makes her cringe.
Pleaseee, do a video about digital invitations? This might be helpful during Covid times 🙏🏻
Including save the dates!!
Yes!!!! We want to do digital invites for budget reasons and I dont know where to start ❤
My brother used Paperless Post, (save the dates) it was adorable, came with a graphic of an envelope opening and you can send a message to the couple
YES!! or just for Gen Z’s like myself , who barely know anyone’s mailing address 😂
I used Green Envelope and lovvvvved them! All of my guests did too, even older family members who I was worried would have a hard time with it. I loved all the customizations, that it notified you when people opened the invites, gave you the ability to link your website, link locations, send reminders for responses and details. It's so so so worth it! Plus I saved so much!
I worked as a day of coordinator for several years and 100% agree about the rehearsal. Nothing would frustrate me more than rehearsals. People are never on time, and “on time” for me meant being there within 15 minutes of our start time and so often the bridal party wouldn’t listen or was already tipsy. I would secretly start steaming when we’d be 30 minutes after our initial start time and people (a lot of times the bride/groom too) weren’t even on site yet. It’s so disrespectful of the coordinators time.
Please please do a video about wedding dress care, before and after!! I got a small dirt mark on my dress and I'm 7 weeks away!
Jamie, I hired a wedding planner but I have done the majority of the planning and booking my venue and vendors because I keep finding better rates with vendors than her referrals. Is this at all typical in your experience? I don't want her to feel like I am purposefully leaving her out or not trusting her, but I keep doing my own research and finding things myself. Any advice?
I think one thing to keep in mind is potential quality! I am a harpist for weddings and there is a vast difference in quality between a harpist charging $75 and a harpist charging $350+ for a ceremony. Sometimes the wedding planner might not have worked with the person you found- or maybe they have and that person is a high schooler who has never played at a wedding and doesn't know what's going on!
Just things to keep in mind!
@@harpist.vanessa Yes, totally get that! But in my situation that isn't really the case. For example, my wedding planner suggested hiring a specific DJ through this company and then i found a way to hire him directly for half the price. I have also been able to successfully negotiate prices with some vendors.
@@chelsear4292 You probably didn't need a wedding planner.... you probably just needed a partial planner or a day of coordinator that works with you 1 month before the wedding to make sure the day goes smoothly.
Drop the wedding planner and save some money. If you're going to chose to do all the work why are you paying her?
Honestly I’m kind of in the same boat
This is one of her most honest direct videos when it comes to a topic it made me like her even more cause you can tell these pet peeves bug her and you know with good reason each one of these things would big the crap out of me if people did them.
It's really a life skill to be able to determine when something is worth a call, and when it's just worth an email.
As someone who works with contracts day in and out for people who never read them, I’ve found that deal memos are extremely helpful! It’s a doc that highlights all the key points of the contract that I send out before sending the full agreement. I know you didn’t ask, but just an idea I’ve found saves so many unnecessary conversations 😅
My wedding planner makes me run all contracts by her and makes sure I understand all the gritty details before signing and putting down money. This alone is such a huge help!
My wedding in in THREE WEEKS.! I got in touch with the lady that is supposed to do mine and my bridesmaids hair and SHE TOLD ME SHE COULDN'T! SHE WASN'T EVEN GOING TO MENTION IT! But luckily she put me in touch with someone else and it's all good. Just annoying 😋
Don’t apologize for this video! So many people out there lack empathy and literally have never put a thought into how other people may feel or work. And not even in a mean way, they just don’t think about it. This was great!
This is so helpful! Any chance you could do a video on that to expect of a day/month of coordinator vs. a full wedding planner? I have a month of coordinator and I don't want to bother her too much with emails but I do want her recommendations for vendors, since I'm choosing them now! She said she would email them to me and she hasn't yet. Stuff like that makes me wonder if it's because I'm not paying for full planning.
Jamie has a video on the topic of day of coordinator v. planner. If you look it up you can probably find it. :-)
@@BB-bx4dp thank you!!!
Unsolicited advice: First look wasn’t a thing when I got married-so that might figure in, but maybe the bride should just plan to be ready 45-60 min before the wedding because yes, some people annoyingly came to where I was getting ready, but there were a few people I needed/wanted to see and then it got rushed and I was sorry for that. Wedding planners weren’t really a thing either, so I had no guard at the door, but unless you were my Aunt I’d never met or the woman who was my second mom in high school, (sorry) I didn’t want to see you before my wedding. 🤭 As I think back, I have to laugh because I had a revolving door of people come in. And stay. I was pretty good with details for my wedding, but I didn’t see that one coming! In the end, though, it’s a funny memory-just wish I’d been prepared for it.
This is why I didn't tell people other than the wedding party where we were getting ready. I have a few family members that don't know what boundaries are let alone how to respect them.
I’m terrible on the phone, I almost prefer emails but I still would rather call and make life easier on everyone over comfort my shyness. But that’s just me
I like everything in email because I forget details frequently and it's easier than taking notes during a phone call + I work nights and I'm never awake during business hours. Makes a great excuse because I also just get anxiety making phone calls lol
Re: communication - When you go "Would you like Option A *OR* (bold underline italics extra space) Option B? And they respond "yes".
My boss used to do this. It meant she was fine with option A and stopped reading. But that is something we had to work out. I would also color-code my e-mails, which she hated, but if I had 3 topics I needed her input/approval on, I needed her to see that right off the bat.
Hi Jamie (and all you other lovly people)
First, thank you so much for all your advice.
Me and my boyfriend are getting married in February. We live in Denmark and therefore we do weddings a little (a lot) different then in the US. We are doing our wedding even more different than the “normal” Danish wedding. Instead of gifts we wish for our guests to bring food.
We will be about 50-60 people and when we tell our family and friends about our wish for the food, they LOVE it. It makes the whole thing more down to earth and more us.
How are we gonna pull this off you ask? We tell all our guests in the invite our plan for the food and when we know who is coming, we will send out what we would like for each household to bring and for how many. For an example: potato salad for 20 people, roast for 15, smoked salmon and bread for 15 (maybe a recipe or two if we want to be specific)
We are doing buffet style and a lot of the diches are cold. Our vendor has a kitchen for us to use if something has to be reheated.
In the Nordic countries we are in general very responsible people, so we are not afraid that someone won’t bring what we asked.
We are of cause giving “the important diches” to the people closest to us (our parents and close friends)
My best friend actually insisted on making our wedding cake when we told her about our food idea. She worked in pastry and baking business for many years and she really loves the job of making edible art.
Both our families love food and cooking, and we pour a lot of love into our food so this way we can have a lot of love in the room in the form of good food.
This may be such a crazy thing to do at a wedding (we have never been to wedding that did this before) but we think it’s manageable and its gonna make the day even more special.
We just wanted to tell you about a different way of doing the food for a wedding that we haven’t heard you talk about on your channel.
All the best
Vibeke and Andrias
Ps. I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors. English is my second language out of four, so sometimes they get mixed up.
I would love to hear how this worked out at your wedding. Keep us posted!
How did your wedding go? It sounds like such a great idea!
Our wedding in 1991 was something like that. The community Hall was $50 to rent and had a kitchen too. No regulations or requirements to have a licensed cater or bartenders. My mom asked certain family members & friends if they would like to cook something and she bought or paid them for the ingredients if they wanted. It was something like a “pot luck”, but most guests were not aware of that. Some people offered or were asked to bring a salad, fruit or jello salad. It definitely eased the financial burden & made the work involved much easier-together. $1,000 wedding reception! FYI: that same hall in 2023 is only $100 to rent too! Too bad so far away, as our daughter is planning her wedding now and the outdoor pavilion is $4,000 (includes tables/chairs, tablecloths/napkins & a day of coordinator).
Her hair is on point today!
Honestly, it always is
Can you do information on Destination Weddings / Cruise Weddings.
Getting married on a cruise in 2022 and struggling how to word invitations 😩.
And now I’m worried I sent way too long of an email to my venue coordinator. 🤔🤔🤔😬😬😬
I work with emails alllll day. You can send long (ish) emails, but you need to use paragraphs, bullets, headers, or list (1,2,3) questions to separate your thoughts. There is a big difference between a blob of words and separated organized thoughts.
@@fashionforwardable I definitely sent it in paragraphs with the heading that she asked, bullet points and sent attachments of photos she asked for. Lol. Thank you for your reply. It was definitely easier in person and...we gotta adjust and do our best 🥰🥰🥰
By the way, “There is no ‘just’” has been a massive help for me professionally. I never noticed I did it before, and now I catch it all the time! I’m sure my colleagues appreciate you pointing this false idiom out to me!
Been married for 15 yrs and am not doing it again but I just can't stop myself from watching
Hello. I accidentally purchased the master plan and can’t access it now. I don’t know where to go to sign in or anything. Every time I click the link it tells me to purchase it but I already did
I used to be so concise, but now college has us trying to make 2 sentences into 3 paragraphs and its hard to use few words now 😅😑
Jamie, my venue stated they prefer my “wedding coordinator with a licensure or insurance” is wedding coordinator licensure/insurance a thing?? The venue wasn’t specific about this on the contract, it just said coordinator preferred. My coordinators helped coordinated several weddings and they aren’t licensed/insured. How do I go about this 😅
Ask your wedding coordinator to provide a certificate of insurance to the venue. If the coordinator doesn't know what that is, ask her to call her insurance company and ask what that is. If she says she can't do that, it's possible she doesn't carry any insurance. It costs the Wedding Coordinator no money to have her insurance company provide a certificate of insurance to any vendor. As for a license, if she has an office/home inside the town limits she must have a business license to operate a business, some counties on the other hand (she doesn't live inside any town limits) do not require businesses to be licensed. So it just depends where her office is located.
Yes yes yes!! You hit the nail on the head. I can relate so much. I get lengthy emails all the time with over a dozen different questions that require me to do a million things to answer… and they want answers FAST. they want to know measurements of things, food allergy info, pictures sent to them, costing estimates, logistic information. SO MUCH at once. It’s overwhelming. Also- when you mentioned that we are humans too! I feel like that isn’t talked about enough. I try so hard to not get upset and frustrated when I’m dealing with personal issues (like this past week, dumping thousands of dollars into car repairs and having to scramble for rides to work.. i was flustered, stressed and my mind was partially elsewhere) and meanwhile I’m receiving unnecessarily rude voice messages and emails because I haven’t responded to their question about candles from yesterday. Like come on!!!
Ohhh I am with you on the 'justs', the day off the bride told me she just wants to have the ceremony and dinner hall set up switched and wanted me to be one to decroate everything without any knowledge of her decor items or even ideas how she wanted it set up....
I think we like emails more because having things in writing keeps everyone more accountable
Poor performing vendors - usually friend of the couple.
I can understand you with the long emails HOWEVER I chose to write two of these to our venue, to have everything I wanted to know and the feedback in WRITTEN form so nobody can tell me that they didn’t know if sth goes wrong on our wedding date 😉🙋🏽♀️
BTW everything was in bullet points and categorized ;)
You can also send a follow up email summarizing your convo with said vendor, like “just wanted to confirm that per our conversation xyz was agreed upon” 😊 just a suggestion!
Jamie!! Could you possibly do a video on a NYE wedding? I'm not finding a ton of information on it and would love your perspective! Thank you!!
I love Jamie! I´m also an Event Planner, and even tho I work In the European Market (that is completely different from the US) I love her advice and the way she teaches future event hosts! I even started to give some of her tips to my customers and use some for myself as well!
Good Job Jamie!
You make us look good! ;P
I just started reaching out to venues and I'm an email person because I like to have things to refer back to, but it makes a lot of sense that most have asked to call or schedule a tour instead of giving me a list of absolutely everything I need to know!
"It's okay, I'm friends with the bride" had me in stitches. Duh! Haha
I love this! I totally hear you on the long emails, though I have been responsible for sending them before I know the person's communication style (since some people prefer emails). In that case, I will start my long emails by acknowledging that there are a lot of details in the email and that I am happy to have a call if that's easier.
Our wedding was destroyed by the venue. I wish we would of have had you in our corner.
Thanks for the tips. I’m 2 1/2 weeks away from our wedding 😳😳😳
Congratulations I hope it goes great!
OMG me too!! April 10th and I’m kind of freaking out! I hope your special day is amazing!
Me too!! What day?!
@@Nellabella94 thank you!!!!
@@ashm8705 April 11th pushed back from August 30 last year. You would think I wouldn’t be freaking and have everything perfect by now lol
Hey Jamie I just have a quick question so I am engaged to a a sweet guy and he has a kid who’s about to be 10 are wedding isn’t until October next year after he get back from over seas but I want to make sure we make jaden (his son) feel included an not like I’m trying to replace his mom do you have any ideas I thought with you having a blended family might help thanks
I would rather send a wordy email and get a reply of "can we talk about this face to face?" than talk about it face to face and realize you're rolling your eyes internally because this should have been an email. If I'm asking face to face, there's no going back!
Loreal. Tristan
Bride. Groom. 25 Guests
Sister. Brother. Family. Friend.
Table chair Sister. Brother. Wedding. June. 24. 2024. 2:00. 6:00. Westin Hotel Chapel
I didnt find you speaking so fast in other videos but I don't know why, I feel your too fast here, in this video..
Hey Jamie! I follow you for years now and I love, love, LOVE your content. However, I notice you put more and more ads into your videos and it's getting a bit tedious to watch. Obviously, I know that's how you make a living, so I try and watch those ads without skipping them, but it really is getting to extreme proportions. In the end, I feel like half the time I spend watching your video is ad content. That’s a bit sad, I must admit. Just giving you a heads up how things feel on the receiving end of your channel. Apart from that, you do a wonderful job!
She talked about this in a vlog, you can skip the ads after the 5sec and she still gets the same compensation
All good things take time!!!
Best way to organize DIY items for our coordinators day of event?
Long emails (with bullet points) are best for proof of all requests and details discussed. For all parties involved.
What did you do before you were a wedding planner?
Can you maybe do a video about price negotiations?? 🤓
Ask if they are willing to give you "the cash discount". Meaning, you will not put this on a credit card where the bank gets 3% of the vendors total sale. If you pay in full, with cash (or check) at least 60 days before the ceremony, could you get 3% (or more) off of the total of your bill? That is a common and well known discount to negotiate. Don't you specify how much you want as a discount because sometimes they will offer more.
Not getting married but definitely here for the tea ☕️ 😁
This is SO spot on. Although as a Day of Coord. I have definitely been inappropriately treated by groomsmen. Any advice on how to firmly but kindly say “no”, “not okay”?
You don't need to be kind when someone treats you inappropriately. Being firm and looking out for your own safety are all that is required.
I love watching you. What do you recommend if your doing all the set up yourself and you're the bride and groom...
I know you’ve said this in videos before...to take a minute and just look at everyone and enjoy the day. Can I get some more tips on that 😅 My wedding is in September 2022, and I have almost every vendor booked and paid for bc I can’t handle last minute planning. & last minute to me is within a year of big events lol. I have horrible anxiety and I feel like my wedding day will be ruined because of it. I’m not social. I don’t want to walk down the isle, talk in front of people or dance. I mean I want to, but I don’t....I’m just nervous.
OMG this is me too Marley. I feel for you, it's a blessing and a curse to have everything organised because you have anxiety, but all that empty space you're now left with gets filled with... different kinds of anxiety 😅😔
As a teacher, everything you are saying resonates so much!
Anyone have advise about kids? I personally don’t want kids at my wedding but know some family who have children 3 and under that they can’t leave behind because the entire family is I invited...is it harsh to enforce the people with those kids to sit in the last row In the ceremony in the event the child starts crying or something that they can be asked to step out or have enough tact to just do so themselves? People with kids feel free to say in as well on how you’d feel, etc
Maybe a little harsh to enforce but perhaps say something like do you want me to reserve seats near the exit incase the little ones need a break during the ceromony? As a mom of 2 both with asd and bride to be no one in their right mind wants their kid screaming in a public setting especially at a wedding (or in my case my own lol) so I would love that idea also I like that you acknowledge that parents cant JUST get a baby sitter, any ol person like I see in alot of facebook groups people do. You could also set up a live feed if thats something that interests you and let them know that you would love to have them but if they would be more comfortable with watching the live that works too or maybe one spouse (if theres 2 parents) gets a night out on their own
I want to see suggestions on the most efficient way to pack up decór that other people will be putting out and setting up!
i forget which video, but in one of her previous videos she said it’s great to put everything that goes together in a bin (like centerpiece items) then take a picture of what you want it to look like so they aren’t trying to figure out what you want. i thought that was a great tip!
I think Jamie said in a video maybe 2 years ago... Clear bins with labels for what's inside and where it goes for the wedding and who takes it home. Then a picture of what if should look like - this is what her client did once and she mentioned how awesome that was for everyone. I am pretty sure that's what she said... Or super organized me added stuff in... Anyways that's what they/i would do. You can never have too many lists or instructions
Love you so much Jaime! Great video (as always) 🥰
My god mother tried to pull me back into the dressing room while her daughter (the bride) was getting ready, and I swear her bridal party was about to rip me limb from limb. Like I'm literally just following the instructions of the only other person I know here, chill the fuck out PLEASE. So also, please God don't be that kind of "guard person", just be civil and remember that literally everyone is excited.
I reallyyyy need to know where you got this shirt from!
Listen to me! 👏🏻👏🏻 I’m the dessert whisperer! I promise I know what I’m doing!
Was wondering if you have any tips for grooms 🥰 My fiancé and I have decided he’s in charge of all the boy things, suits etc and doesn’t know where to begin 🥰
sometimes I feel like you don’t necessarily understand that you are the one that should be in control of if your couples put things in one big messy box. This is where good communication should come in to play between you and your couples.
I agree that it is smart to communicate in advance about this. However, a wedding planner should also be able to expect from a couple adults that they are able to hand over their diy decoration in a bit of organized matter. It’s a bit weird to give your wedding planner 3 welcome signs and expect them to know what to do 🤷🏻♀️
@@heliosfromacrossastar878 I absolutely agree and understand what you’re saying, however why did the wedding planner never discuss where the couple wanted their welcome signs to go in The first place? If it’s the day of the wedding and you’re the wedding planner and you still don’t know how the place is going to look or where everything needs to go, that’s a you problem. The couples are typically waiting on the wedding planner to go over their vision with them, Seeing as how the bride is always willing to talk about her vision, but wedding planners always have very limited time for each individual client and very specific times. The burden is on the wedding planner
@@heliosfromacrossastar878 like to give you an example, this youtuber mentioned about a wedding she did where they didn’t have enough water, and to “please make sure your guests have enough water quote”... but if she’s a wedding planner, I don’t understand why so much responsibility was put on the bride. It’s not like the bride does this for a living. They don’t realize how much water their guests might need or might not need, that’s why they rely on people like wedding planners and pay them a bunch of money to tell them how much they should expect to need. If all of these things should be the brides responsibility, then what the heck does anyone need a wedding planner for
Looove it. There is no just!! Valid for every workplace, every friendship as well
Is your Masterplan just for US weddings? Or does it stretch to the UK?
I'm not even getting married. I just find your videos interesting, lol
Always love your videos!! Sidebar: where did you get your earrings? They are super cute 🥰
But did the novels get published?😂😂😂
You're SO awesome!! I literally LOL when you touched on rehersals and the Bridal Party! 🎉
This is gold!
anyone watch the Audit the Audit channel by John Lang , a youtuber who talks abotu civil rights, hi can you make a review about other people's RUclips channels
Do you think it will be a good idea to do videos about other people's RUclips channels
Small wedding/elopement advice?
4:18 thought you said “butt faces” 😆
0k
15:02
Hey Jamie! Is the master plan better for or even specifically for US clients? I’m from Sweden and would love (and need) some advise!
I’ve seen Jamie say when launching the Master Plan that if you find her RUclips videos helpful then you’ll find the Master Plan even more so!
Obviously not everything may translate into different cultures, but if what she says on RUclips makes sense for you then most of the Master Plan should too.
I think it also comes with a 30 day money back guarantee in case it really doesn’t work for you.
Maybe look up reviews for the Master Plan and see if anyone else mentions being international and if they found it worked for them?
Jamie has mentioned in a video that international people could benefit from the master plan but shouldn’t expect her to know about the culture’s traditions and things like that. I definitely think it could be beneficial for timeline and things like that. I would have done the master plan if I hadn’t already had a wedding planner. Would’ve saved a lot of money and I’m doing most of the planning on my own.
I loved hearing these! Makes so much sense!
This is why I am doing very little DIY stuff because I am not organized by any stretch of the matter lol
Love tea 🫖 love the advice you provide!!
Jamie, I'm getting married in June and just wanted to say thank you
Oh, I wish someone would do a pet peeves for dressmaker/sewists for weddings. Oh, the things that I could tell them. Almost painful to watch this video and and the flashbacks of brides that come along with it... probably why I don't do it anymore... the asking favors, the asking to hide the last 5 pounds that they couldn't lose, the styling the toddler flower girl who doesn't want to be styled, the assuming the services that weren't agreed upon ( like asking you to dressing them and the bridesmaids), people changing their minds 5 times after you have started the work, not being prepared, not listening to basic instructions or timelines.... and on and on... Thanks for the video. :)
thank you jamieeee
Jamie, I love you & your videos. However, this video .. I’m the unpopular opinion here, perhaps. I definitely see some of these points. But here’s an example from my planner and I: I love hearing her suggestions & working with her, but I also jump on wedding FB pages sometimes to connect with other brides and hear their ideas! She hates this and has called me out. I find this so disrespectful, and I have spoken to her about it. I hired her for a service. She should not be monitoring my every move nor voicing whether it hurts her feelings. And that’s my point- it’s OUR day! We HIRE you! YES people should be respectful, communicate, pay in full on time, etc. but me saying the word “just” like you mentioned? Am I supposed to walk on eggshells around this woman I hired?😅 Personally, I don’t think so!
What if I made a video about how my patients should act around me as a nurse? I think about that while watching this, and it seems so backwards. Of course there are times we get frustrated at work (no matter what we do for a living), but I think the focus, especially in the service industry, should be trying to give the client the benefit of the doubt instead of getting hung up on these things.
Simply food for thought! Love your work!
I should add, I’m not Nicholas Grant- signed in under my fiancé.
earlyyyyy
Yes! I definitely feel that my venue coordinator has gotten at least 100 emails from me. I feel so bad, but with so much covid uncertainty and a literal dining room remodel I have had SO many questions 😅
love sassy Jamie!
I love all of your content and I've been watching since the early early days. To be honest this is one of the only videos that kind of missed the mark for me. I know it's intended to be helpful but it just kind of makes me feel worried that I'll something to annoy my wedding coordinator purely because this is my first wedding I've ever planned. I think maybe some of this could have been said in a gentler way that doesn't feel quite so confrontational
I've been a sub for awhile, too, and the biggest reason why is because Jamie is so genuine; she's going to tell it like it is but her heart is always on our side. I liked that she showed us that there are things we can do to help our wedding planner to ensure that we have the wedding that we've planned for. If you get anything out of this video, please don't let it be anxiety (we have enough to worry about!), let it be the knowledge that our wedding planners will do the very best they can to help us achieve our wedding vision even if we get on their nerves. ~From one bride to another 👰🏻♀️❤💍
I feel like you’ve come such a long way with being comfortable in front of the camera! I loved your honesty in this video
You’re a great youtuber
Curious about fake flowers for center pieces? Tacky or no? I personally want to save money anywhere I can and I'd rather have real flowers for my wedding party. Thanks!
My best friend used fake flowers. Honestly, to me (MOH, guest), it didn't matter and I got to keep my fake flower bouquet which is a lovely souvenir and I use it sometimes for house decor.
LOVE this video!!
Comment for the beginning and I’m sure you agree on this. I’m a Wedding Planner and I usually save my clients more than I cost between industry connections and discounts, contract negotiations, and just industry knowledge. Also please Brides, at minimum hire a day of Coordinator! Big wedding, small wedding, low budget, no budget… a coordinator should be up there in importance right after photographer, but hire us before your photographer and we will find you the best for the best price.