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The “No Matter What” Pattern In Relationships - Conditional Love
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- Опубликовано: 21 янв 2022
- Ever heard of the "no matter what" pattern in relationships? It arises out of our desire to be unconditionally loved. In this video, I'm going to explain to you what the "no matter what" pattern is. After watching this video you will know if some of your relationships have been affected by this pattern
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Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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URL: • The “No Matter What” P...
Not gonna lie the story about Bo made me tear up a little. The best relationship I was ever in as far as how I felt is when this girl loved me for everything I was and not what she wanted me to be. She didn't try to change me to meet her image of me cause I was already there. That's when I realized what real love felt like. When you see their eyes light up upon seeing you for the first time that day and their smile and you didn't even have to do anything out of alignment with yourself to match a false narrative. That's a special feeling
Wow 💯
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
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How’d you mess it up Jon? Regretting it aren’t ya?
People confuse unconditional love with unconditional companionship. One can love someone unconditionally, but still make sure their companionship is conditional. In earth society, one's companionship must always be conditional. Love is not measured by how many bad things you allow someone to do to you.
Exactly!
Perfect explanation!
Thank u, I am taking this away with me
Well, minus clear abuse and neglect in any direction, which needs to be corrected immediately before things escalate, having both is quite nice.
@@letsdomath1750 true.
I learnt to love myself unconditionally and let go of the need to be perfect to approve of myself. And that's how I found people who love me unconditionally.
I hope one day I will be like you
I am Charlotte!!!! :D I literally want the truth of my feelings at any given moment to be understood and accepted consistently and by people to whom this would come with no effort. There is no better way I would feel loved. Thanks Teal :)
The life of a true empath! Nothings worse than being misunderstood, unseen…I feel ya!
Me too……
Me too
It makes me sad to hear guys talk about how they have to court women to get them. But that they don't actually want to, its just to get them. Women don't want that. They want a man who wants to court them genuinely because they like them. Not to be obtained and then everything changes. Don't do something you genuinely don't want to do, saves lots of energy stress and heartache.
Courting = chasing. We shouldn't have to do that
Why do a lot of women want men who court them but are not willing to do so themselves? It’s narcissism and these men sniff it out and see an in.
We grew up in a very destructive family...and developed DID as a result of the abuse, so there's a whole bunch of "me"s that want all the unconditional love.
Our partner system and us definitely have some unhealthy patterns, especially around wanting to suffer and take pain for the other, as a sign of love / wanting the other to take pain.
It's really hard to get used to feeling loved without violence, when it has always been paired
This was eye opening to me. Ive always had abandonment issues, and felt the need to overcompensate in toxic enviroments by being useful and showing emotional support or any support when in reality I needed to be emotionally validated. I would be full of resentment from over giving and then frustrated because i felt like as the "useful" one i couldnt express my negative emotions because i had to be the the backbone for toxic relationships. In me seeking dysfunctional relationships i was met with the reality that they werent fullfilling me. The partners were always emotionally unavailiable to me as well so it would just snowball into a downward spiral of me being drained and soon becoming emotionally unavailiable myself when all i wanted was a safe space to express myself. I resonate with both the examples.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I relate to you so much.... I'm right now going through a relationship like that and for a long time I couldn't understand what makes me so frustrated about it. turns out its because I didn't receive the same support I was giving away. so basically overgiving for nothing. and it really drained me. now I'm healing from this relationship and start to value myself more. I go into a relationship with the purpose of taking care of others while in fact I want to be cared for but I'm too scared of asking for it because that's something I was rejected for in my childhood.
@@minttea4503 I wish you the best on your journey. Its so hard to say what we need but we have too. Dont ever feel bad about expressing your needs if someone cant meet them it just means they arent the right fit ❤
I realize I don't know about love the more I look into it. At this point I don't know if it actually exist at all.
YOOOOOOOO CONGRATS ON ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBERS TEAL!!! IVE BEEN HERE SINCE LIKE 100K! CRAZY!!! 🎉 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
This is exactly what happened to me growing up. Your video made me feel like crying.... But great video again. Thank you for your perspective Teal Swan!
Really? And you think you are the only one on the planet?
@@angelsrosena did i say I was?
@@angelsrosena that’s kind of gross for you to say that. You don’t need to down someone because they resonate with something and express their emotions. His feelings are valid and you don’t need to negatively respond for what he said, when it wasn’t negative in the slightest.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯??
You are the best glitch in The Matrix Teal, thank you for you♥️
0:35 Having just watched the intro and paused it, this is EXACTLY what I confronted my parents about last night. So on target and right on time. Thank you for your commitment to awakening your growing tribe 🙏🏽❤️.
14:29 I love how Teal says "Not the right place" 😆💙
I totally recognize this, not only in men I've been involved with, but myself as well (especially the Charlotte story)
I wish you 500 million subscribers ASAP ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🏼
All of your videos feel like a punch in the gut for the first few minutes. Too real that I almost click away. But I encourage myself to continue watching and by the end you've shed light on every question I had about that subject. I'm really grateful for the insight you give. Thank you 🙏🏼💙
°TY FOR WATCHING°
Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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Incase You'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/nomatterwhat/
I’d rather hear you ❤️
And see you ❤️🙏🏽
Thank you so much teal..... hope you and anyone reading this has a wonderful day💚
WE LOVE YOU TEAL!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the exemple-stories. Some surprises me at how much I feel like the character
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𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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First comment.
Thank you very much for your videos master, I've been watching your videos since 2016. Really so much helpful and changed my life. I can't thank you enough for it, I bow down to you 😇
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯??
Whatsazzz him 👆📥
Unconditional love = oxymoron.. Pure love never ever has conditions. If it does, its not love, its ego attempting to ruin your happiness. If you cannot give it you cannot receive it ! Practice giving love till you realize, you are love! then continue giving making the world a much better place. I send out love to everything/everyone on earth every day many times. Namaste' everyone!!
Thanks for your ability to see what can be difficult 👁 & share ways for us to expand beyond our own comprehension.
You just hit the nail on the head. I've spent my life trying to buy love and friendship when all I want is someone like myself. I think the system put the "opposites attract" to generate divorce revenue. Love your work so much ma'am. Much gratitude
Sometimes, opposites can and do attract, depending on several nuances. If someone is too much like yourself, it can also be problematic.
Well by definition opposites oppose each other. But at the same time opposites also complement each other, because you are able to fulfill each other's weaknesses. But then you also have to realize that what we call "opposites" are really just opposed by relative standards. For example, a tall person and a short person may complement each other, but they are only deemed "tall" and "short" when compared to other humans or the same genetics. But compared to an ant, a "tall" person and a "short" person are both relatively tall, giants even. This is in stark contrast to how, say, light and darkness oppose each other, or how something cannot be both on and off at the same time. In these situations, it is like that attracts like. Those who live in the darkness hate the light, and vice versa.
Thank you Teal.
Thanks! Teal, have a wonderful week you too!
Teal, thank you for being so articulate and straight forward. Your work is helping me understand and heal.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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TEAL !
About a week or so ago I posted about kind eyes and and how in your previous videos my nervous system had a reaction to your eyes.
I just wanted to say, thankyou for showing this side, the smile, the child within you. It's so beautiful and she is soo light and full of joy. Seems like she does have an amazing protector. Let the world see you in your light, all your glory and all your darkness. It's a tough world, but you are tougher.
Thankyou 💜
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
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This video was the opposite of what I expected. 10/10
Thank you, Teal. I always find a gem in your videos.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
Whatsazzz him 👆📥
Much love Teal 🤍
Teal Swan truly is our better.
How are defining love? When I think about unconscious love I think about the Greek word agape. Philip, Eros are conditional . Agape which is the highest form of love ( in my option) is displayed no matter what people do or don’t do. I think agape is a great foundation for other forms of love.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Perfect timing Teal, dear!
This is fantastic wisdom, Teal Swan. Thank you, I am a mixture of both examples, this hit home♡
I've got parts work to do.♡
I am like "Charlotte" I am still trying to do part work since I am a codependent but I can't still express my feelings since in my culture women are forbidden to express negative emotions. I was more than once told that I am abnormal for having negative feelings hence hiding them is what makes me safe and my codependent side still can't accept this other part of me
I feel this. It may be prevalent in your culture, and I’m so sorry to hear that, but you are not alone because that has been a common approach especially in spiritual communities. The whole positivity culture is stifling. My bad attitude is very clarifying and cuts through the bs. I can come back to joy after I honestly express myself but not before. There are no shortcuts. It is not helpful or kind to tell someone to think positive without first honoring the pain they are in. I’m wishing you find whatever resources you need to heal completely.
Im just blown away....
thank you
This video helped me to confirm that compatibility is the most important think to start a relationship.. unfortunately we will only show the great qualities on front… I just realized my feelings weren’t really honest whenever I tried to change someone, and just only few times in my life I have loved truly when I felt in love with the person and I took the time to get to know him before. Thank you so much for helping us to be more aware of these aspects. Love your videos so much ❤️
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
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Hi Teal.
I want you to know I have appreciated your work, your sharings. I love that you are you and continue to evolve and share your take on the truth. You have also confirmed many of my own insights along the way. I want to say thankyou and wish you every fulfillment and success going forward.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
Whatsazzz him 👆📥
so on point... its scary. thank you teal!!!
Needed this.
You should do a curriculum for kids that can be taught/shown at school. 'Understanding yourself and others'
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together.
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Once again, the exact video I needed for what I am currently going through. Thank you!
°TY FOR WATCHING°
Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I absolutely just love learning from you. Thank you. Much gratitude. 🙏🏽🔥💙✌🏽
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I can't believe you don't have more subscribers,Teal.
Thanks for the video, it's always a good'n.😁❤🤟
I like unconditional love ❤️
I just want a friend. Someone to vibe with. That simple..I'm sick of lies, thief's and cheats. I want someone loyal to me.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯??
Whatsazzz him 👆📥
Thank you SO Much Teal. ✨✨✨
Love your perspectives! So deeply explained. Grateful heart 🙏🏻
@ᴛᴇᴀʟ sᴡᴀɴ tell me more!!! Please
Thank you so much Teal ❤️
Man this is tough, because i feel like 1. nobody is gonna love me how i am authentically at the moment (what i learned through experience in the past years) 2. the people i am attracted to are totally incompatible with me.. also, the things i would want people to love and accept are: my selfishness, my negative emotions, the fact that sometimes i cannot talk or do activities.. so basically i want them to just love my presence and sometimes talking or doing some chill activities together. But to me that seems like an impossible thing for somebody to want because what value does that give to them? I dont know, im thinking out loud here and prob a comment section is not the right place to do that lol so im gonna stop typing now..
I just found this woman... I know how she feels... Born and raised in a Mormon town in Utah not being Mormon will affect the best of us...
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Beautiful!!!!🙏
I love you so much Teal🔥 infinite gratitude🙏💗
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
±𝟏𝟑𝟐𝟑𝟐𝟖𝟗𝟎𝟕𝟐𝟒
Tell him I referred you.
Thank you!
Thanks for this!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
I love you Teal from SouthAfrica 🇿🇦
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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You are a genius!
Teal for President 🙏❤️🙏
Thanks Teal 💜
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
±𝟏𝟑𝟐𝟑𝟐𝟖𝟗𝟎𝟕𝟐𝟒
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You are Fr Fr talking to my soul 💕💕
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Another great video. Thank you x
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Perfect video at the perfect time ♥️
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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As usual brilliant!
This is very relatable, and helpful!!
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I was taught by my family to have unconditional love for them but that was only so i could love them while they do unrighteousness and get away with it.
Unconditional love removed morality from me so that dysfunction and abuse could keep occurring within my family.
Thanks teal 😊
I've always wanted to be loved for me. Enjoy my company, support me thru thick and thin, we are safe to be our authentic selves.
@ᴛᴇᴀʟ sᴡᴀɴ Is this you?
@@rnbsteenstar nope lol
Beaux was a fun friend. He was a functional alcoholic. Had to keep boundaries with him. I admired his confidence and his masculinity.
He did all what you said.
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I Care For What Has To Be Done .. ... .. No one said it will be easy
But i wonder if its also possible like this: let’s say some kid really is very quiet and introverted naturally. But this comes in handy too much: the parents like the kid bcause it is such a good girl not bothering anyone and not taking up any attention and getting good grades eventhough they never help her with any homework and barely know what she does all day who she meets and what she thinks or feels. Then later as an adult when somene prases you for beeing such a good listener or not bothering anyone so easy to talk to, so understanding etc: you dont feel like doing that anymore. Even if that is really your natural state and your talent and calling etc. You dont want to do it. And nobody told you to put anything in the shadow but still you hate people only liking your easy going side. You dont want to give it to them. And you really are that so you just dont do anything anymore . You can not take praise : you feel resentment either way with anyone both work or private: if they like that side of you and take advantage of it, or if they dont but they want you to be someone else. Its like a catch22. I hear this also in other ways. Lets say someone is very musical and entertains everyone at every birthday. Untill the point they only invite him because he plays the guitar and sings and they start to demand it. If he sais no not today im a guest i like to mingel and talk myself, they get angry and call him arrogant and selfish “i already told everyone you were going to be here and play” said the host. So the person finds less and less pleasure in playing, while it really was his passion. But it backfired. People sometimes use your talent against you and make it dirty. It is hard to reclaim yourself and your talent when people take it for granted you first have to get out of such an environment and only years later you can safely take up your passion. When sonething is so dear to you and others use it but at the same time look down on it the whole passion is tainted. Its easy to say o dont listen dont let it get to you but is does. They turned your art into a doormat. They use it every day but at the sametime say it is worth nothing.
You right. But, it is good to find videos and community like this one that understands us... we understand ourselves better thus; helping us in our healing process. It is a long journey first we become aware of parts of ourselves we didn't know, then the resentment, hatred for ourselves because we blame ourselves... then the most important thing how to put in practice what we learned that is so challenging it may take years to stand up to your family members, friends etc... but you will come out victorious. And the healing continues and self discovery continues till we die. It feels really good when we recognize our flaws and weaknesses and take ownership and improve our lives for the better. It is part of a spiritual awakening. May God and the universe bless this channel, you and everyone reading this massage.🙏💪🙂
"you can't smoke weed in this house!" (Or be high cuz your paranoia will spike to 100). Okay well, Love you too, mom and dad. I've learned that even at 23, I won't be accepted for my own rights and freedoms of feeling euphoric around my parents with dim eyes since it wasn't accepted when they grew up. Ironically all I wanna do is spread love when I'm high. Ironically infernal lessons come from the external world when my eyes are seen the slightest bit red or "high" though. Super fair. I'll conditionally love them back, no problem. Numbness never bothered me anyways. I'll teach my kids to open their hearts to telling me why they feel the way they do rather than me lecturing them without knowing why they do the things they do. I'll raise them right and open minded. I'll always love my parents. Conditionally, though. Reciprocation.
Best video ive ever seen
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𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I saw the thumbnail and instantly thought of the Orbit gum commercial.
No matter what! Things get rough do nort walk away mad,just walk away.a leopard never changes it's spot So!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯??
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A lovely video once again 💛!
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Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
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I do not think socialization is always negative. I think other word would be more appropriate here, like suppressed emotions. Socializations can be teaching a kid to express her anger appropriately and not in a harmful way. If you have kids you know what I mean, you cannot just let a kid go hitting siblings and destroying things when she/he is angry. It's helpful to avoid painting world in black and white, like seeing suppressed emotions as the only way to socialize
Amazing video thank you for the insight 🙏🙏❤️
Thanks so much teal
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Hello Teal
A relationship will only work on a "come as you are, but don't stay as you are" basis
With the exception of a sibling and a handful of friends, all of the relationships in my life have been conditional *including* the relationship I have with myself. It really makes me wonder...
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together.
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯??
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Will I feel loved when I find people who value the *part of me* that I need them to want.. or when I find people who value me “as I am”, my most natural qualities.. even if I don’t have a need for being loved by those? For instance: I have natural intellectual abilities.. but I don’t feel fulfilled when I’m recognized by these qualities. It seems more important to be wanted by other qualities, that I haven’t yet fully developed (like being a talented artist). Should I keep developing those? Or settle for what’s easy and in my comfort zone? Even if it sounds boring to be admired by that?
@Caio Amaral Settling for boring is clearly not the right path. The "me" that YOU want people to want...seems to be your artistic skills. Follow what makes your heart light up. Follow your passion.
6:51 🥺 I would too...
I really do not want people to blame me. If I am wrong, I will understand a situation, correct it, and correct myself. If it is not wrong, I try to understand others what the situation is, but others put an idea in their head that I am wrong and blame me, and I have become hysterical.
If people are treating you this way, this is called gaslighting. If you know intuitively that you are right then most likely you are right. If people try to tell you you're wrong you can tell them to stop doing it or you'll remove them out of your life.
Teal can we be honest why is our first love a torture.
Especially wgen they love u too, but ur at the wrong place and time.
4:37 😂 My parents... Except I'm not on the farm but hey here we are
8:10 Teal probably went to watch keeping up with my life somewhere 😩💔 (yes I'm jk but amazing how accurate Teal is with this)
Wow! I'm Bo, and didn't even realize it until now! Now... I better go install that toilet that's been sitting there for 3 weeks.
All love is conditional.
I would agree...unconditional love only exists in the spiritual dimension
Great!
Trueth & humor Thank you for the insight ! Realziaiotns to what's healthy healthy & what's not. To show up for ourselves & others .to Be up front . Direct .great detials of who someone IS"! & it results to personal self awareness & mature disclosure of Clear Communication! Essential .. returns to the language we speak subliminally or not consciously or not..realizations. prioritization..
the way we advertise & inter relations.. lovelight .💗🙏👑🤗
°TY FOR WATCHING°
Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
±𝟏𝟑𝟐𝟑𝟐𝟖𝟗𝟎𝟕𝟐𝟒
Tell him I referred you
Still love u
Thank you 8
Hm ....wow....u v opened my eyes. Thanks!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Teal, I've noticted that although I think youre absolutly brilliant and a genius and a revolutionery (no. 1 in the world) in your field, its hard for me to accept the fact that all of these insights come from you yourself, and thats because youre a beautiful woman.
Iv'e been raised to believe someone cant be THAT gorgeous and at the same time THAT smart.
I want to point out though, that I am aware of the fact that YOU have very deep insights!
Its just that beside the BEAUTIFUL issue , I dont trust people so much, actually lots of the time I dont trust them at all.
But there is a part in me that totally believes in your brilliantness and the in the good in you.
God bless you for all youv've done for me!
Harel from Israel
You're serious???
There was no love, i was never wanted !
Can you please do a video on what is the real you?
So I gather,, Unconditional love is what happens natural as we do our best to live with Unconditional love. Fear, or anguish of not receiving Unconditional love we focus on what is possibly deficient, and create the situations that bring to surface our fears,
°TY FOR WATCHING°
Make a note to Ian Mcgloin regarding BTC/ETH investment ideas.
𝚃ᵉ𝚇ţ𝄍𝑾𝒉𝔮τ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝
±𝟏𝟑𝟐𝟑𝟐𝟖𝟗𝟎𝟕𝟐𝟒
Tell him I referred you.
My polyamori, my dissatisfaction with myself, my confusion about what I want
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems...
†16512789445💕⏯⏭⏯???
Women love for me to do stuff for them and spend time with them but don't want me as anything other than a friend. I dont need more friends
Ask yourself if you're being seen as a 'nice guy'. If so, look towards fulfilling your OWN needs, for yourself. Be more self assertive, and more selfish - yes, selfish, but not encompassing harming other people - that's actually not true selfishness. Selfishness is doing this for YOU, for your OWN benefit.