New Sequelathon video this THURSDAY (20th) too! Followers of my Instagram @mattroseskullemoji will see I gashed my foot open filming it for you. Why? Because you deserve top quality entertainment, that's why.
Matt Rose is like that one uncle who shows up randomly to the family gathering, tells the funniest story you have every heard, and then you don’t see him again for another 2 years.
I know of multiple instances of people answering the phone with "Thank you God for this food we are about to..." or whatever their habitual manner of saying grace is. I love it when the automatic scripts in our heads get misfiled.
Starbucks worker here. I was on register, and was asking a customer if they wanted their chai hot or iced. Forgot the word 'iced', for some reason, panicked, and asked if they wanted it with 'the water bones'. Luckily, this customer had a good sense of humor and is a regular, who now asks for 'the bone-in chai' every single time.
I speak Spanish and one time I was helping a Spanish-speaking guest and began saying “Your welcome!” but halfway through I changed it to “De nada!” and ended up saying “You're nada!” I pretty much told them “You're nothing!” with a smile on my face.
Am a receptionist at the hospital - answering the phone: "Sarah speaking, how can I help" turned into "Sarah helping, how can I speak?" The poor dude on the other end and his wife in the background were in tears.
I used to work at Ross Dress For Less as asset protection and for some reason they wanted me to stand by the door and greet *every customer* as they walked in. There were many instances where I managed to fuck up saying, "Hi, welcome to Ross!" but here are the highlights: 1. Hi there! Welcome to Walmart! (I have never worked at Walmart a day in my life) 2. I would sometimes catch myself in the middle of saying the above and would instead say, "Hi there! Welcome to w....wherever we are." 3. Hi, Ross!
I worked cashier a few days ago and instead of saying "Do you want a receipt?" I said, with confidence, "Do you want a contract?" and burst out laughing
Being a cashier is hard, you endlessly solve cus problems while also ringing them up and sometime your brain just got confused. Once i was so hungry a cus bought an ice cream. I rang him up and then tried to rip open the ice cream to eat infront of him 🤣 Luckily i realised it before i actually rip it open. And he's politely just stare at me as i stole his ice cream 🤣
@@Creative_YT My brain does that too sometimes. I'm not sure what causes it to mess up that bad, but plenty of things are hard to explain, so add it to the tally, lol
One time my dad called me after a long day at work and I immediately slipped into customer service voice and said "Thank you for calling Wendy's, how can I help you?" He'd never heard The Voice before and was stunned.
The Voice is too real 😂 One time I was telling my coworker a story, and had to stop to ring up a customer, and after that I went back to telling the story and my coworker started laughing at how much my voice changed.
One time when I worked at Wendy's, I was handing a customer their change and I meant to say their change was even, but instead I said "Your change is evil"
what's funnier about that is that every Wednesday night (except for the summertime) I have dinner at my local church... at 5 pm... so this is totally relatable to me XD
One time, I was carrying my trumpet case and one of the hinges on it wasn't latched. My teacher tried to tell me this, but instead said, "You're unhinged."
I work as both a cashier at a hardware store and a stage manager at a theater and sometimes I get my NPC dialogue mixed up. One time I handed a person their credit card back, smiled at them and said "Lights and sound, stand by :)"
I work at the pet store currently, and in the summer we always remind pet owners about the importance of flea and tick prevention (and offer some treatment, of course). Once i was deadly exhausted and instead of my usual "it's summer, which means tick activity is at it's highest. Would you like me to show you some of our treatment options?" I just. looked this woman dead in the eyes as I was scanning her items and said "Would you like some ticks?" She just looked mildly uncomfortable and politely said "No, thank you."
I'm red-green colourblind so when I saw that green line at the bottom of the thumbnail I thought "How have I already watched this? It was uploaded 38 seconds ago!"
One of the worst things that’s happened to me so far as a camp counselor at a clown school: Walking by a room with another counselor, looking over, and realizing it was a *funeral.* Two fully dressed clowns walking by a funeral.
basically it was being held in a church and someone was having a funeral in there while we were having the camp and the other counselor and i accidentally walked by in full costume
My dad worked as a radio DJ in a tiny town in New Mexico when he was about 15. He would sit in a little room and spin up the records to play then switch them over to air. One day he had put a record on air then turned around to do something when he heard a horrible scrabbling noise, the same noise that everyone listening to the radio was hearing. He turned back to the record player and saw a hole in the ceiling where a massive spider nest had fallen through directly onto the spinning record. The noise he and everyone else was hearing was the literal thousands of spiders getting raked under the needle and getting flung off the spinning disc all over the room. His boss burst into the room and all my dad could do was gesture at the carnage behind him just like "Spiders?!"
I was doing training for a tech support job, when I finished up the call I thought I said "If you have any more trouble give us a call back." Later the guy I was training with walked in the room laughing and told me I had actually said "If you want any more trouble give us a call back".
i did the mcdonald’s drive thru once and the guy who answered said “welcome to mcdonald’s what can i mcget you” and i just assumed i’d misheard him but when i got to the window to get my order he said “sorry i had trouble finding the mcstraws, here’s your mcorder!” 😭😭
i got featured on this account once, it was late and two girls ordered a water bottle from me as i was closing up, i handed it to them and looked them dead in the eyes and just said “four o’clock.” then immediately went into the back to ponder my life choices. it wasn’t even four o’clock
@@LiminallyYours I think it was four o clock and they were counting their time til closing lol or they closed at 4 or maybe fight club was at four and "water bottle" was the code we may never know...
Was at the waterpark today, went onto the lazy river. A convo went like this: "Hey, its actually nice!" "I told you the Razy Liver would be fun-" THE FRIGGIN *RAZY LIVER*
Finished reading a guy’s order back to him and instead of asking “is that all?” I proceeded to yell into the mic “IS THAT TRUE???” Still mortified when I think about it.
I was working at a McDonald's and this woman walks in , I was on a call with my mom at that moment, and the woman told me her order and being in confusion I accidentally said to my mom " Do you want pickles with that ? " We were discussing about what medication she wants me to buy for her
This reminds me of Feli From Germany talking about switching languages. She was talking to her mum on the phone in German, when her boyfriend came to ask her something, and she told her mum to hold on in English and replied to her boyfriend in German.
Went to the hair dresser today. The woman working there politely asked how I wanted her to cut my hair. I just smiled akwardly and pointed at my hair while confidently saying "Yes. Hair."
I was put on all 3 days of the Black Friday sale at my last job, so by the third day, I was tired and on autopilot. That's how I ended up: 1. Staring in confusion at a customer, waiting for money without asking them *how* they were paying or clicking the button on the POS so they *could* pay. 2. Asking 5 people in a row if they wanted their receipt "printed or receipted" 3. Apologizing to a table I walked into.
Man, I used to be an intern in a hospital, "prepping" people for surgery (basically setting up the initial i.v. so the actual Anesthesiologist could get to work faster). Part of that job was to simply talk to the patients, who where often understandably a little nervous. So one of my standart openers was "Have you ever recieved surgery before?", so I could calm them down and say it's not a big deal and stuff. One day hw had a dude come in, and I have just briefly glanzed over his file. I used my standart phrase and he just looked at me like I'm the dumbest person on earth, before slowly saying "Y-yes, I had surgery before." He was there for a follow-up surgery after the initial one he had like a week ago.
I once picked up the phone to page a manager and nearly sneezed over the intercom. Another time, my brain short circuited as I was trying to jokingly tell a coworker “I do job good” and instead I said “I guh I guh” and then dropped my walkie.
I'm a cashier in a grocery store. Morning shift, my brain still asleep. An old lady walked in and showed me the goods she got at the butcher's, so I'd later know she didn't take it from our store. "Miss! Miss, I have breasts!" "Yeah, me too." "What?" "What?"
I used to manage at a pub and answered the phone after my 3rd 12 hour shift in a row, and instead of saying "The dog on the Hagley road, how can I help you?" I screamed "The Hogley dog". So I just waited a few second and the shouted "HELLO?!"
I went into Which Wich and asked how large their sandwich sizes are. The employee confidently told me "The smallest one is the smallest, then the regular is bigger than that, and the largest is even bigger." Gave no indication how big any of them was, so I decided "11 bucks for a sandwich is too much money anyway."
i work in food service, so as im handing the customer their food sometimes i like to say "i hope you enjoy it" instead of saying "i hope you have a good day" to keep them on their toes and see if they were listening... about half the time they say "you too" i love being the harbinger of chaos. :)
I had a brain rot moment, but with my crush in high school. Once, she was waiting outside the school. I took this chance to talk to her, and asked her why. She said she was waiting for her sister, to which I replied “yeah I wouldn’t want to stay here too long” and fucking left. As soon as I got home I punched myself.
My middle school crush asked me if I wanted a kiss (we had been hanging out before hand so it wasn't like we were strangers) and I just stared at him, completely blue screened. It's funny now but oh did I hate myself afterwards
I once was in Line at Mc.D. The guy in front of me was clearly drunk. He asked the Cashier for „A Napkin with Cheese.“ the Chashier was super confused and said „I can‘t do that, sorry.“ The guy then took a single Napkin and just ate it.
Once I stopped by a store to just get a couple of things, oreos and a jar of salsa. When I went to pay, the cashier looked at me so concerned and asked if I was going to dip the oreos in salsa. I wasn’t, but I hadn’t really considered how it looked, and I kinda panicked and said “it could be good?”
I work at a retail service desk, end up saying the same phrases over and over again. Most commonly "No problem, have a nice day" after a customer thanks me for something. Well one of them skipped straight to telling ME to have a nice day when I was mid sentence, and it threw me off so bad I just stopped. So she said "Have a nice day!" and I just said "No."
Can relate. Or have their kids lick and slurp on the conveyor belt. I actually at the kid to *not do that that's disgusting!* And the mother was checked out playing on her phone. After the mother and kid left I spent the next 20 minutes sanitizing the whole belt and area. Time of 🦠💀
A couple days ago I was trying to tell a customer to have a good day. Instead, I opened the window, handed her her coffee, went “Hebedehehhh” and shut the window
I worked as a lifeguard at one point. Every once in a while, the card reader on the front gate would break. Still vividly remember trying to tell a full-handed woman ‘Come around me- the- to me- the side gate- just- can I see your card?’
It would be really funny if the Dairy Queen employee just replied "sir, I don't think you're ready for the nut buster. I don't think you can handle it"
I was working as a waiter once, and had been dealing with a troublesome table that kept complaining about the food and I had to take it back to the kitchen. So when another table asked if I could bring some salt to the table because the shaker was out, I just picked up their food and said "I'm sorry" before walking off. 💀💀💀
These customer service videos and the "trying to say two things at once" videos are probably my favorites on the channel. This one was particularly great.
I worked as a Cashier in a chain store. Some kid, no idea how old maybe like 10 or older, walked in slowly, turned to me with his head and then his body and then did an NPC wave at me. He then proceeded to pretend to walk into a huge stack of easter eggs and just glided in place. The only shocking thing about this to me is that he wasn’t with any friends or anything so his motivation to do this was completely intrinsic 😭
a kid did the npc wave at me as well when I was volunteering at the SENIOR CENTER and I instinctively did it back and then realized literally only me and him knew what the hell was going on. I was in front of like 30 old people, calling the bingo slots
As a former autistic child, I can confidently say he was Doing An Autism, and you should do your best to forget that happened because he is definitely trying to forget it right now. 😂
1:38 I was on the receiving end of this once, a coffee shop near me used to manually enter tips from signed receipts and the new barista accidentally rang my $3 tip in as $3000. Everyone involved was completely horrified and did their best to rectify the situation. I still go there, but after that they switched to an iPad POS where the customer enters the tip.
6:10 Reminds me of a Tumblr post where OP worked at Dairy Queen and someone "very confidently ordered a busted nut parfait and I had to ask them if they meant a peanut buster parfait without crying."
@@zozozoozoz My Family had a halloween tradition where we'd put ice cream in a lemonade drink flavoured with a colorful syrup. Cuz it looks fizzy when you drop the ice cream in. It honestly sounds disgusting but if you chose your combo right and make sure to eat the ice cream first...it's kinda nice actually. Flavours the lemonade and flavours your ice cream.
@SOURBXMB that's a fair question actually. They might've been wondering why we can see it as purple if ultraviolet is outside our visible light spectrum. The reason is that UV bulbs often have a bit of visible purple light as well.
I will never forget that in middle school, we were constantly practicing partiotic songs, and one day, I started violently singing "My Country Tis of Thee" during the Pledge of Allegiance.
after enough hours at work your brain feels scrambled and the autopilot customer service mode in your head just short circuits, and then months/years later when you're trying to fall asleep your brains just like, "yeah let's put these 'no coming back from that' moments on repeat with an extra dose of embarrassment"
I worked at a vet , a cat owner came in. I tried to ask him its name and said: "what is your nat's came?" I got so mad at myself that when I got home I rethinked my life's choices.
One time I was making an order at McDonald's and texting my friend at the same time. She complained that she was out of her favourite perfume and I meant to text her something along the lines of "oh, that sucks". However, at this very moment the McDonald's employee asked me what kind of sauce would I like with my order. I texted "ketchup" to my friend and just stared at the employer until they asked me again
3:15 - Actually happened to me a few weeks ago in my DD Drive-Thru. The customer placed their beverage order, changed it TWO TIMES, then when getting to the window proceeded to change their drink AGAIN - and then added two breakfast sandwiches and three orders of hash browns, with a string of cars piled up behind him. I could be heard within a quarter mile shouting to the ceiling, "From now on, a $400 surcharge for each order change at the window, PER ITEM." We're on a freaking TIMER. You have 150 seconds from arriving at the board to leave the window with your entire order, or we get screamed at. If it takes you over two minutes at the speaker figuring out your order (and then calling home to see what everyone there wants), we're gonna hear about it. And we get told it's OUR fault that you're not prepared to order, and we're too slow if the food you ordered takes six minutes to cook but we have two-and-a-half minutes to complete the entire transaction. (We cook our food fresh to order, none of this held-over-way-past-maximum-holding-time, lukewarm rubbery crap morning shift serves.) So please figure your crap out before you get to the menu board, or if you're not sure what you want, please come inside where you can take a nice, long look at the menu and pick the perfect drink (and accompaniment) at your leisure. Sorry we have no Dine-In seating, please file complaints with Dunkin' Corporate as they are the ones shifting most stores to a "Take-Out Only" atmosphere. Also, please extinguish your blunts, air out the car, and sober up a little before your arrival. We'd like to be able to communicate clearly with you. Thank you. That is all. /end rant **climbs off soap box** 5:20 - Me too, wasn't in class, it was at home. My printer beeped once to let me know it was powering off automatically, and I reached up to my ear to hit the button... It becomes deeply-ingrained habit.
Finishing a phone call with a client’s receptionist long ago, I mixed “Bye” and “Good day”, and confidently closed with “Bye babe”. Never spoke to her again.
my worst was definitely when (I worked at mdconalds a couple years back ) the customer asked me at counter about something, to which I was supposed to say "I'll ask my manager". I said "I'll ask my mum" 💀💀I will never forget the confusion on her face😔😔 but atleast afterwards she laughed
One time, I was doing cooking at school, which I had a substitute teacher for. We were making mac 'n' cheese, when my TA asked the substitute what kind of tea she'd like. (She was making tea for her and hot chocolate for me.) The latter didn't quite hear her correctly and thought she was asking her what she was looking for, so she responded, "Cheese grater." Laughed my ass off when I realized what happened, then we all couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day. And I swear it's contagious or something, because the very next time I had cooking, my regular teacher was back, and she said she was going to take the butter out of the oven instead of the fridge.
Recently someone tried to order a cheese and onion toastie at work and for some godforsaken reason I said ‘beese chunion' to myself out loud and genuinely froze for like five seconds while he looked at me like I was mental
Arrived at a customer's house and I'm getting out of my clearly marked [Company] van and I said "Hi. I'm from [Company] and I'm here." He replied, "well, that's kind of obvious."
I've had plenty. Best one was my typical "goodbye" phrase while working at a gas station was "Have a good one!" Of course, sometimes, people just came in to ask where the bathroom was, and that sentence just slips out anyway. It was bad enough it slipped out to this one old man while I was chatting with a guy I had a huge crush on, but when the old man came back through a few minutes later, he threw up his hand as he walked out the door and shouted, "I HAD A GOOD ONE!" My dignity never recovered in front of my crush, but that old man had the best sense of humor 😂
Shoutout to that time I went to a building where you have to be buzzed in through an intercom. I though you had to hold down the button on in order to talk to the people at the desk inside. In actuality, that button played a buzzing tone to get their attention, and in trying to tell them what I was buzzing in for I was actually just blasting them with an incessant buzzing for 30 solid seconds
6:37 This reminds me of my uncle. One time, he went to McDonald’s and was holding a tray that had his drink on it, and he turned slightly too fast and everything flew off. He then asked for another drink since he dropped his, and after he got the drink, someone (I forget who) asked him how he managed to drop his drink My uncle said “oh it was like this” and proceeded to put it on the tray, and turn slightly too fast, causing everything to fall off.
That bathroom stall story reminded me of something that happened to me once: A little backstory first: My brother constantly comes to my room to ask me things and I’ve trained him to knock on the door and wait for me to respond because I got sick of him just barging in. I always respond in an exasperated, slow WHAAAAAAAAAAT? At his knocks in the deepest voice I can manage. So one day I was sitting on the shitter in a restaurant when someone knocked on the stall door. I, out of reflex, bellowed WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT from the top of my lungs before I realised I was in public. I waited until everyone had left the bathroom before I made a run for it back to my table. I can only imagine the look on the guy’s face
The other day, at the grocery store I work at, an old guy asked me if we had any pumpkins. I showed him where the canned pumpkins were and he said “oh, no no, sorry, I mean the actual pumpkins” “Sir, it’s June” 💀 Edit: I meant to say that pumpkins aren’t generally sold in the Midwest year round, and while you can find them, most grocery stores don’t start carrying them till august or September, also by “canned pumpkins” I meant pumpkin pie filling, that one is on me
Importable from another country that can grow them at that time of year? Most fruit and vegetables are imported when out of season so pumpkins could be no different in that respect.
I was working at the till in a theatre on a really busy weekend, and I tried to call out 'I can help who's next!' but my brain got scrambled so AS customers are walking towards me I just yelled at these people 'and how are you paying today?'
I’ll never forget the time I was trying to ask this elderly lady “everything tasting good?” And “you guys doing alright right over here?” And accidentally told her with a straight face “you guys taste niceeeee.”
I was reading an order back to a customer and when i got to Tostado Salad with Cilantro Lime my brain malfunctioned and i said "And a C...C...S...Sly... Ah fu-- sorry. A Sal-Sal-- We can have your total for you at the window"
I was working a night shift and as I was doing my thing, around 5 am, my mind wandered to a scene of a show that involved a cat. At that moment a coworker walked in and I tried to call out "Mornin' " but instead just shouted "Meow!"
I love when customer service folks do this. Theres like a five second pause where I'm like "wat" and then I remember my CS days and we all laugh. Its w tiring time, man. Your regulars dont care and we are a team. Half the time I go back to a place it's because I see they support their tired part-time crew
I worked at Party city and went over the intercom to do the closing announcement one day, said "attention party shitty shoppers-" Busted out laughing and hung up.
At a game store with a kitchen, I was ordering meatballs. I asked how big they were, since it only came with five of them, and was told "meatball sized"
When I first worked at J. Crew as a stylist years ago, I would stand near the entrance and greet customers by saying “Hi, Welcome to J. Crew” or something like that. Once during the busy holiday season, my tongue slipped as I greeted a customer and I said “Hi, welcome to K. Jew, how can I crew you?”.
Well the most important thing to remember working a service job is that if the customer is young they're more scared of you than you are of them, but if they're an older customer every tiny little mistake you make will be scrutinized.
New Sequelathon video this THURSDAY (20th) too! Followers of my Instagram @mattroseskullemoji will see I gashed my foot open filming it for you. Why? Because you deserve top quality entertainment, that's why.
More green furby that forces us to learn spanish please
rest in peace, Matt Foot
Thank you for your service Matt
Here it comes!
damn ive never been so early
imagine that, you’re on a call, and the other person just says
*”J U S T S H O O T M E”*
I mean, you don’t have to if you have a suicidal friend
Ask why instead of panicking and saying not to, ask why they want to
"Haha ok, I'm outside your bedroom door with a gun atm ☺."
Mood
some of them aren't misspoken, just true inner thoughts coming out
Matt Rose is like that one uncle who shows up randomly to the family gathering, tells the funniest story you have every heard, and then you don’t see him again for another 2 years.
I feel like it's more frequent than that
@@creamwobblyyeah, he has like a ton of crazy stories but outside of that you know next to nothing about him at all
And he teaches u how to make small explosives
Ok but answering with your phone speech on a bathroom door knock is one of the funniest things you can say in that situation, I'm using that
(knock knock)
"you've reached walmart customer support, how can i help you this evening?"
@@eliza1498 lore accurate
I sometimes just yell “Do you have a warrant?!”
(knocking on stall door at the gym) "how many reps you have left?"
I know of multiple instances of people answering the phone with "Thank you God for this food we are about to..." or whatever their habitual manner of saying grace is. I love it when the automatic scripts in our heads get misfiled.
Starbucks worker here. I was on register, and was asking a customer if they wanted their chai hot or iced. Forgot the word 'iced', for some reason, panicked, and asked if they wanted it with 'the water bones'. Luckily, this customer had a good sense of humor and is a regular, who now asks for 'the bone-in chai' every single time.
I love that. I am totally stealing water bones for ice now.
That's awesome 😂❤
THE WATER BONES 😂
Since when has tea become chai???
@@Elena_Golubkova ask literally anyone in India
I speak Spanish and one time I was helping a Spanish-speaking guest and began saying “Your welcome!” but halfway through I changed it to “De nada!” and ended up saying “You're nada!” I pretty much told them “You're nothing!” with a smile on my face.
Customer: Thank you
You: YOU'RE NOTHING
I once worked as a bagger at a grocery store. Once I asked "paper or plastic?" and the customer replied "wood".
Wooden carrying bags sound nifty though, not gonna lie. Maybe we'll get there one day.
sounds like a good way to get splinters
He wanted a basket!
I mean paper is wood
my dad likes to reply "burlap"
I once asked a customer “would you like your soul?” Instead of “would you like your receipt?”
hell yea I would 😂
What did they say?
@@conlon4332 omfg yes I need to know
The fact I just thought 'oh, no thank you, keep the change' literally made me burst out laughing
“Yeah if Satan’s already done with it I guess I can take it back”
1345 dollars for a latte? Hope the Starbucks manager forgave them for accidentally giving a 15% discount like that.
Makes me wonder if that's 13 dollars and 45 cents. Now it didn't specify currency so we can't be sure the value of it.
Fr man 😭😭 eating out is getting really expensive now
@@Liggliluff im dumb and might be confused but, but if im not being an utter idiot here, they did indeed specify currency (dollars)
@@colon44 "dollar" isn't one specific currency and there are multiple ones of different values
@@Liggliluff whenever "dollar" is used somewhere, its safe to assume they mean the United States Dollar.
Just today, I was telling a friend that coffee and a muffin sounded good, but I accidentally said “A coffin sounds good”
Mood AF....
it do be like that sometimes
it does tho
Why is that so real
MOOD
Am a receptionist at the hospital - answering the phone: "Sarah speaking, how can I help" turned into "Sarah helping, how can I speak?"
The poor dude on the other end and his wife in the background were in tears.
Sarah not helping, why have I spoken?
To be fair, laughter would probably be a normal reaction.
Sarah howling - help! - can I speak?
sarah phoning, how can i answer?
I used to work at Ross Dress For Less as asset protection and for some reason they wanted me to stand by the door and greet *every customer* as they walked in. There were many instances where I managed to fuck up saying, "Hi, welcome to Ross!" but here are the highlights:
1. Hi there! Welcome to Walmart! (I have never worked at Walmart a day in my life)
2. I would sometimes catch myself in the middle of saying the above and would instead say, "Hi there! Welcome to w....wherever we are."
3. Hi, Ross!
Guy named Ross - 😳
I would be so confused if I walked into a store where I was greeted with "Welcome to wherever we are!" lmao
2nd one, starts breakin down into philosophy
That sounds like hell, why the fuck would anyone make you do that?
@@AtlasNL I have no idea, honestly. But you're right, that job was miserable.
I worked cashier a few days ago and instead of saying "Do you want a receipt?" I said, with confidence, "Do you want a contract?" and burst out laughing
Being a cashier is hard, you endlessly solve cus problems while also ringing them up and sometime your brain just got confused. Once i was so hungry a cus bought an ice cream. I rang him up and then tried to rip open the ice cream to eat infront of him 🤣
Luckily i realised it before i actually rip it open. And he's politely just stare at me as i stole his ice cream 🤣
@@jeanneann3545 lmao felt that down right to my soul
madoka magica plot
@@idkwhattoput7729EXACTLY- (it also sounds like alastor from hazbin hotel-)
@@idkwhattoput7729That show has ruined the word "contract" for me forever
1:55 saying "why?" As if the customer cursed them to start coughing is indescribably funny.
The curse of Ra
Return the slab
why did I pronounce that as induh-scree-bobly
@@Creative_YT My brain does that too sometimes. I'm not sure what causes it to mess up that bad, but plenty of things are hard to explain, so add it to the tally, lol
They were clearly allergic to Bitches
One time my dad called me after a long day at work and I immediately slipped into customer service voice and said "Thank you for calling Wendy's, how can I help you?"
He'd never heard The Voice before and was stunned.
I did that to my mom once. She just about died laughing.
I would stare uncomfortably whenever I saw my parents at work
The Voice is too real 😂 One time I was telling my coworker a story, and had to stop to ring up a customer, and after that I went back to telling the story and my coworker started laughing at how much my voice changed.
One time when I worked at Wendy's, I was handing a customer their change and I meant to say their change was even, but instead I said "Your change is evil"
Was it $6.66?
Went rollerskating today and this random like 6 year old just randomly yelled “SKIBIDI TOILET” terrified everyone.
I would be terrified too.
Yea, I would also be terrified if a kid yelled that
OMG SIMILAR HAPPENED TO ME I WAS WASHING MY HANDS IN A ROLLERSKATING BATHROOM AND A KID RAN IN AND YELLED "WATCH OUT FOR SKIBIDI TOILET" THEN FELL
brainrot
Was on a walk and a kid started saying, kame, hame, and then he proceeded to scream HAAAAA
There’s something so badass about the line “And at 5… dinnertime.”
Like the catchphrase of the main character in an action movie
what's funnier about that is that every Wednesday night (except for the summertime) I have dinner at my local church... at 5 pm... so this is totally relatable to me XD
One time, I was carrying my trumpet case and one of the hinges on it wasn't latched. My teacher tried to tell me this, but instead said,
"You're unhinged."
They’re not wrong though.
@@HungryWarden yep lol
@@sophiaeq Mood
I get that alot
Same.
I work as both a cashier at a hardware store and a stage manager at a theater and sometimes I get my NPC dialogue mixed up. One time I handed a person their credit card back, smiled at them and said "Lights and sound, stand by :)"
I would legitimately reply "ThAnK yOu StAnD bY" because my theater dialogue is my default as well lol
That one about pans sounds like a prelude to a great new insult;
"He's a few pans short of a kitchen"
I work at the pet store currently, and in the summer we always remind pet owners about the importance of flea and tick prevention (and offer some treatment, of course). Once i was deadly exhausted and instead of my usual "it's summer, which means tick activity is at it's highest. Would you like me to show you some of our treatment options?" I just. looked this woman dead in the eyes as I was scanning her items and said "Would you like some ticks?"
She just looked mildly uncomfortable and politely said "No, thank you."
Lmfao at least she was being nice
Im dying, im imagining this interaction in my head😭😭
If I was you, I'd be frozen while my eye would be twitching at what I said as she walked away 😭
😭😭😭
Going to buy a bday card for my dad and having the guy working there tell me "hope you have a dad" is a very threatening thing to hear.
This has several different interpretations and none of them are good.
Hope you still have a dad ✌️
I'm red-green colourblind so when I saw that green line at the bottom of the thumbnail I thought "How have I already watched this? It was uploaded 38 seconds ago!"
LMAOOOOO (before any karen gets mad, I'm not laughing at the fact that someone is red-green colourblind)
@@cr_chain literally nobody is going to get mad
@@MrComp-bw2rb trust me there were already so many people that got mad at me when I laughed at a comment.
@MrComp-bw2rb You never know. I found a lot of ppl who got mad at others bc of laughing at something.
@@cr_chain HOW COULD YOU LAUGH AT SOMEONE WITH COLOUR BLINDNESS????? YOU ABLEIST!!! /j
I’ve asked more than one customer if they’d like “their bag in the receipt,” and just laughed and said “I’d like to see myself pull THAT one off.”
One of the worst things that’s happened to me so far as a camp counselor at a clown school:
Walking by a room with another counselor, looking over, and realizing it was a *funeral.*
Two fully dressed clowns walking by a funeral.
There's a joke in there somewhere.
Why was there a funeral at a clown school? What?
basically it was being held in a church and someone was having a funeral in there while we were having the camp and the other counselor and i accidentally walked by in full costume
💀💀💀
"How do you like your eggs?" "I love them!" Fair enough
☺️
“I meant prepared.”
“Yeah, I do want you to prepare me eggs.”
“I meant how do you want your eggs prepared?”
“I would like them to be set for life.”
"I'll just take this bread then!"
"BALLS?!!!???!?"
🍎
✂️
THE VOICECRACK TOO
My dad worked as a radio DJ in a tiny town in New Mexico when he was about 15. He would sit in a little room and spin up the records to play then switch them over to air. One day he had put a record on air then turned around to do something when he heard a horrible scrabbling noise, the same noise that everyone listening to the radio was hearing. He turned back to the record player and saw a hole in the ceiling where a massive spider nest had fallen through directly onto the spinning record. The noise he and everyone else was hearing was the literal thousands of spiders getting raked under the needle and getting flung off the spinning disc all over the room. His boss burst into the room and all my dad could do was gesture at the carnage behind him just like "Spiders?!"
Nightmare fuel
Okay that's my literal nightmare I would have a heart attack
Oh my God, I have to know what they did
Thanks for a new fear, that sounds horrifying. I hate that spider nests can apparently fall through the ceiling!!??
The fuck kinda spiders live in New Mexico???... genuinely curious
I was doing training for a tech support job, when I finished up the call I thought I said "If you have any more trouble give us a call back." Later the guy I was training with walked in the room laughing and told me I had actually said "If you want any more trouble give us a call back".
i did the mcdonald’s drive thru once and the guy who answered said “welcome to mcdonald’s what can i mcget you” and i just assumed i’d misheard him but when i got to the window to get my order he said “sorry i had trouble finding the mcstraws, here’s your mcorder!” 😭😭
mchi, mcwelcome mcto mcmcmcmcmcdonalds, mcwhat mccan mci mcget mcyou
@@soupcangaming662mca mcmcchicken mcsandwich mcplease
It was so funny, I was mcsnorting!
If I got charged 1345 dollars for a latte I wouldn’t even be surprised I’d just be like ‘damn inflation got me fucked up’
What the hell is that thing made with? Alpaca milk? XD
@@oddcrafter1270 Milk of a tasmanian Tiger, source: trust me bro
💀
@@Matt_RoseSKULL EMOJIIIIIIII
@@Matt_RoseI have to do it.. SKUUUUUULLL eMOJIIIIIIIIIIII
A decent amount of these just sound like exhausted people in need of a nap and I love it
i got featured on this account once, it was late and two girls ordered a water bottle from me as i was closing up, i handed it to them and looked them dead in the eyes and just said “four o’clock.” then immediately went into the back to ponder my life choices. it wasn’t even four o’clock
Lmfao I would have thought you were telling me when fight club was or some shit
that is somehow ominous
We need to know what thought process lead to this cryptic statement!
@@LiminallyYours I think it was four o clock and they were counting their time til closing lol
or they closed at 4
or maybe fight club was at four and "water bottle" was the code
we may never know...
bro accidentally pressed the SPOT button and not the INTERACT button
Was at the waterpark today, went onto the lazy river. A convo went like this:
"Hey, its actually nice!"
"I told you the Razy Liver would be fun-"
THE FRIGGIN *RAZY LIVER*
sounds like an energy drink brand
I love these because they make me feel better about my own embarrassing moments in the past that I pray no one else remembers.
Finished reading a guy’s order back to him and instead of asking “is that all?” I proceeded to yell into the mic “IS THAT TRUE???” Still mortified when I think about it.
Woah, you go big guy
I'd have been like "yeah, that's right"
@@celestialTangleyou cannot just make the funniest reference ever and then leave
ye
Was it tho
Once I accidentally tried to say: “No problem, you’re welcome”, but actually said: No welcome, you’re problem!”
HAHAHHA
stealing that line
Me when someone tries to talk to me
@@kutekitty43 I am following you. on Tumblr. This is akward.
LMAOO
I was working at a McDonald's and this woman walks in , I was on a call with my mom at that moment, and the woman told me her order and being in confusion I accidentally said to my mom " Do you want pickles with that ? " We were discussing about what medication she wants me to buy for her
WELL, DID SHE WANT PICKLES WITH THOSE MEDS?
Christ what did your mom say then?
@@jeanneann3545 " Actually, a jar of pickles might work"
This reminds me of Feli From Germany talking about switching languages. She was talking to her mum on the phone in German, when her boyfriend came to ask her something, and she told her mum to hold on in English and replied to her boyfriend in German.
damn, you were allowed to make personal calls from the counter?
Went to the hair dresser today. The woman working there politely asked how I wanted her to cut my hair. I just smiled akwardly and pointed at my hair while confidently saying "Yes. Hair."
I was put on all 3 days of the Black Friday sale at my last job, so by the third day, I was tired and on autopilot. That's how I ended up:
1. Staring in confusion at a customer, waiting for money without asking them *how* they were paying or clicking the button on the POS so they *could* pay.
2. Asking 5 people in a row if they wanted their receipt "printed or receipted"
3. Apologizing to a table I walked into.
The last one is just good manners
Man, I used to be an intern in a hospital, "prepping" people for surgery (basically setting up the initial i.v. so the actual Anesthesiologist could get to work faster). Part of that job was to simply talk to the patients, who where often understandably a little nervous. So one of my standart openers was "Have you ever recieved surgery before?", so I could calm them down and say it's not a big deal and stuff. One day hw had a dude come in, and I have just briefly glanzed over his file. I used my standart phrase and he just looked at me like I'm the dumbest person on earth, before slowly saying "Y-yes, I had surgery before."
He was there for a follow-up surgery after the initial one he had like a week ago.
I once picked up the phone to page a manager and nearly sneezed over the intercom. Another time, my brain short circuited as I was trying to jokingly tell a coworker “I do job good” and instead I said “I guh I guh” and then dropped my walkie.
Did they come check on you?
Probably assumed you had a stroke
@@Jake1702 From what I recall she was standing close enough that she kind of gave me a look before we both started laughing.
as in you sneezed but almost turned on the intercom while doing so or everyone on the intercom got to hear you almost sneezing?
"I guh I guh"
Sounds like Goofy laughing
I once mixed up farewells and accidentally told a customer I loved them when they were leaving.
I'm a cashier in a grocery store.
Morning shift, my brain still asleep. An old lady walked in and showed me the goods she got at the butcher's, so I'd later know she didn't take it from our store.
"Miss! Miss, I have breasts!"
"Yeah, me too."
"What?"
"What?"
Working as a grocery store cashier, I was trying to tell my customer "have a nice day!" and "take care!" and it came out as "take a gay!" 😅
My laughter isn't exactly quiet, so of course I had to listen to this in a public bus...OF COURSE!!!!
I could never. Not with a Matt Rose video. You must have known what was going to happen. 😂
I used to manage at a pub and answered the phone after my 3rd 12 hour shift in a row, and instead of saying "The dog on the Hagley road, how can I help you?" I screamed "The Hogley dog". So I just waited a few second and the shouted "HELLO?!"
I wanna hear Matt read this lmao
I'm naming my next dog Hogley, thank you!
@@vickieparker9201 and if they have puppies the first one has got be named HELLO?!
oh god the poor vet that has to call out their name...
I went into Which Wich and asked how large their sandwich sizes are. The employee confidently told me "The smallest one is the smallest, then the regular is bigger than that, and the largest is even bigger." Gave no indication how big any of them was, so I decided "11 bucks for a sandwich is too much money anyway."
This employees logic;
Smallest = smallest
Regular = bigger
Largest = even bigger
oooookay so exactly *how* big are we talkin' 😂
@@nardalis4832 "Like, almost Big Mac sized, y'know?" - metric system denier
I will never forget the time when I worked at McDonalds and confidently said into the mic as a car pulled up "Hi welcome to Minecraft"
i work in food service, so as im handing the customer their food sometimes i like to say "i hope you enjoy it" instead of saying "i hope you have a good day" to keep them on their toes and see if they were listening... about half the time they say "you too"
i love being the harbinger of chaos. :)
I had a brain rot moment, but with my crush in high school. Once, she was waiting outside the school. I took this chance to talk to her, and asked her why. She said she was waiting for her sister, to which I replied “yeah I wouldn’t want to stay here too long” and fucking left.
As soon as I got home I punched myself.
My middle school crush asked me if I wanted a kiss (we had been hanging out before hand so it wasn't like we were strangers) and I just stared at him, completely blue screened. It's funny now but oh did I hate myself afterwards
The implication✨
Oh god oh no oh jesus
I once was in Line at Mc.D. The guy in front of me was clearly drunk.
He asked the Cashier for „A Napkin with Cheese.“ the Chashier was super confused and said „I can‘t do that, sorry.“
The guy then took a single Napkin and just ate it.
Oh… huh I wonder what it tasted like?
@@EZheng-bd1bg Well, it's white. So obviously, mystery flavor.
Same rule goes for crayons.
Wtf man why no cheese?
Ahh yes “chashier”
@@Edd_The_Cat oh boohoo I made a Typo while I was tired. Good Job on noticing Sherlock, now go away an be proud of yourself.
Once I stopped by a store to just get a couple of things, oreos and a jar of salsa. When I went to pay, the cashier looked at me so concerned and asked if I was going to dip the oreos in salsa. I wasn’t, but I hadn’t really considered how it looked, and I kinda panicked and said “it could be good?”
should’ve laughed and said “no, don’t worry”
I work at a retail service desk, end up saying the same phrases over and over again. Most commonly "No problem, have a nice day" after a customer thanks me for something. Well one of them skipped straight to telling ME to have a nice day when I was mid sentence, and it threw me off so bad I just stopped. So she said "Have a nice day!" and I just said "No."
5:56 You'd be surprised by how much customers will just growl instead of speaking
Can relate.
Or have their kids lick and slurp on the conveyor belt. I actually at the kid to *not do that that's disgusting!* And the mother was checked out playing on her phone.
After the mother and kid left I spent the next 20 minutes sanitizing the whole belt and area. Time of 🦠💀
A couple days ago I was trying to tell a customer to have a good day. Instead, I opened the window, handed her her coffee, went “Hebedehehhh” and shut the window
bro muttered his own sleeper agent code and went full goblin mode
@@soupcangaming662 that’s completely accurate
"Forty thousand years of evolution and we've barely even tapped the vastness of human potential."
"HEBEDEHEHH."
"my dad died"
✨️ShAkIrA sHaKiRa✨️
I never really knew she could dance like this
She make a man wanna speak Spanish
@@areallybigannoyingorangefa6562 ¿¿¿¿como se llama???? (si) ¿¿¿¿bonita???? (si) mi casa, su casa (shakira shakira)
@@brokenpayphoneoh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad. So be wise, and keep on, reading the signs of my body (trumpet solo)
@@NekoChanSenpai señorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia (more trumpet solo)
The fact that you have a Stone profile picture makes this funnier for some reasons😂
I worked as a lifeguard at one point. Every once in a while, the card reader on the front gate would break. Still vividly remember trying to tell a full-handed woman ‘Come around me- the- to me- the side gate- just- can I see your card?’
She might have just been skipping your dialogue /s
My mind was preoccupied when some customers walked into the store, so I confidently greeted them by shouting "Hello, welcome to Spider-Man!" 💀
It would be really funny if the Dairy Queen employee just replied "sir, I don't think you're ready for the nut buster. I don't think you can handle it"
I was working as a waiter once, and had been dealing with a troublesome table that kept complaining about the food and I had to take it back to the kitchen.
So when another table asked if I could bring some salt to the table because the shaker was out, I just picked up their food and said "I'm sorry" before walking off. 💀💀💀
"I'm sorry, little one" kinda moment
That is hilarious! I can't imagine what they thought. Did you explain? What did they say?
"I want some salt"
"I'm sorry you didn't like the food"
"...I do"
These customer service videos and the "trying to say two things at once" videos are probably my favorites on the channel. This one was particularly great.
I worked as a Cashier in a chain store. Some kid, no idea how old maybe like 10 or older, walked in slowly, turned to me with his head and then his body and then did an NPC wave at me. He then proceeded to pretend to walk into a huge stack of easter eggs and just glided in place. The only shocking thing about this to me is that he wasn’t with any friends or anything so his motivation to do this was completely intrinsic 😭
Real life npc
a kid did the npc wave at me as well when I was volunteering at the SENIOR CENTER and I instinctively did it back and then realized literally only me and him knew what the hell was going on. I was in front of like 30 old people, calling the bingo slots
As a former autistic child, I can confidently say he was Doing An Autism, and you should do your best to forget that happened because he is definitely trying to forget it right now. 😂
@@what_equals_42 "former autistic child" makes it sound like you stopped being autistic for some reason
@@what_equals_42 i think its just being a kid in general as well 😭 something i wouldve done too probably
1:38 I was on the receiving end of this once, a coffee shop near me used to manually enter tips from signed receipts and the new barista accidentally rang my $3 tip in as $3000. Everyone involved was completely horrified and did their best to rectify the situation. I still go there, but after that they switched to an iPad POS where the customer enters the tip.
6:10
Reminds me of a Tumblr post where OP worked at Dairy Queen and someone "very confidently ordered a busted nut parfait and I had to ask them if they meant a peanut buster parfait without crying."
Ah yes, my favourite thing to put in my drink: *G L A S S*
La glace! (Ice cream) :)
or glaçon (Ice cubes) :D
@@ramonalavigne8953what
@@ramonalavigne8953 I’m sorry Ramona nobody puts ice cream in their drink
@@zozozoozoz My Family had a halloween tradition where we'd put ice cream in a lemonade drink flavoured with a colorful syrup. Cuz it looks fizzy when you drop the ice cream in.
It honestly sounds disgusting but if you chose your combo right and make sure to eat the ice cream first...it's kinda nice actually. Flavours the lemonade and flavours your ice cream.
@@zozozoozoz have you ever heard of hot chocolate
Once someone at my old job asked, "What colour is purple?", and I was just like "Purple?". 💀
its like that time some kid in my chemistry class asked "why is it called ultra violet when its purple?"
@@SOURBXMBIt's super very violet! /j
@@Its_another_birdit ia saon ajaop
@SOURBXMB that's a fair question actually. They might've been wondering why we can see it as purple if ultraviolet is outside our visible light spectrum. The reason is that UV bulbs often have a bit of visible purple light as well.
why it ourple😂
2:27 what makes it so much better is that there is a Madonna song called “Hung Up” 😂😂
I will never forget that in middle school, we were constantly practicing partiotic songs, and one day, I started violently singing "My Country Tis of Thee" during the Pledge of Allegiance.
after enough hours at work your brain feels scrambled and the autopilot customer service mode in your head just short circuits, and then months/years later when you're trying to fall asleep your brains just like, "yeah let's put these 'no coming back from that' moments on repeat with an extra dose of embarrassment"
I worked at a vet , a cat owner came in. I tried to ask him its name and said: "what is your nat's came?"
I got so mad at myself that when I got home I rethinked my life's choices.
well what was the nat's came
XD
I misread it as "cat's name" oddly enough
@@guestc142 That dyslexia moment where you can’t notice a typo because your brain rearranged it back to the way it’s supposed to be, I’ve been there.
You should have *"Rethinked"* your comment
it always makes my day when i hear Matt yell *"SKULL EMMOOOOAAAAJJJJJAAAAYYY"*
One time I was making an order at McDonald's and texting my friend at the same time. She complained that she was out of her favourite perfume and I meant to text her something along the lines of "oh, that sucks". However, at this very moment the McDonald's employee asked me what kind of sauce would I like with my order. I texted "ketchup" to my friend and just stared at the employer until they asked me again
lmaoo
3:15 - Actually happened to me a few weeks ago in my DD Drive-Thru. The customer placed their beverage order, changed it TWO TIMES, then when getting to the window proceeded to change their drink AGAIN - and then added two breakfast sandwiches and three orders of hash browns, with a string of cars piled up behind him. I could be heard within a quarter mile shouting to the ceiling, "From now on, a $400 surcharge for each order change at the window, PER ITEM."
We're on a freaking TIMER. You have 150 seconds from arriving at the board to leave the window with your entire order, or we get screamed at. If it takes you over two minutes at the speaker figuring out your order (and then calling home to see what everyone there wants), we're gonna hear about it. And we get told it's OUR fault that you're not prepared to order, and we're too slow if the food you ordered takes six minutes to cook but we have two-and-a-half minutes to complete the entire transaction. (We cook our food fresh to order, none of this held-over-way-past-maximum-holding-time, lukewarm rubbery crap morning shift serves.) So please figure your crap out before you get to the menu board, or if you're not sure what you want, please come inside where you can take a nice, long look at the menu and pick the perfect drink (and accompaniment) at your leisure. Sorry we have no Dine-In seating, please file complaints with Dunkin' Corporate as they are the ones shifting most stores to a "Take-Out Only" atmosphere. Also, please extinguish your blunts, air out the car, and sober up a little before your arrival. We'd like to be able to communicate clearly with you. Thank you. That is all.
/end rant
**climbs off soap box**
5:20 - Me too, wasn't in class, it was at home. My printer beeped once to let me know it was powering off automatically, and I reached up to my ear to hit the button... It becomes deeply-ingrained habit.
From one fast food corporate pawn to another, I feel your pain.
Finishing a phone call with a client’s receptionist long ago, I mixed “Bye” and “Good day”, and confidently closed with “Bye babe”. Never spoke to her again.
my worst was definitely when (I worked at mdconalds a couple years back ) the customer asked me at counter about something, to which I was supposed to say "I'll ask my manager". I said "I'll ask my mum" 💀💀I will never forget the confusion on her face😔😔 but atleast afterwards she laughed
it’s always good when the customer has a sense of humor
@@usertedi For real!!! It's the only thing that saved me that day😭😭😂😂
One time, I was doing cooking at school, which I had a substitute teacher for. We were making mac 'n' cheese, when my TA asked the substitute what kind of tea she'd like. (She was making tea for her and hot chocolate for me.) The latter didn't quite hear her correctly and thought she was asking her what she was looking for, so she responded, "Cheese grater." Laughed my ass off when I realized what happened, then we all couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day.
And I swear it's contagious or something, because the very next time I had cooking, my regular teacher was back, and she said she was going to take the butter out of the oven instead of the fridge.
Recently someone tried to order a cheese and onion toastie at work and for some godforsaken reason I said ‘beese chunion' to myself out loud and genuinely froze for like five seconds while he looked at me like I was mental
HAHAHA
XD
"beese chunion" gives the same energy as beesechurger
OP this one brought me to tears laughing. I’m gonna be saying “beese chunion” to myself for the rest of my life
Arrived at a customer's house and I'm getting out of my clearly marked [Company] van and I said "Hi. I'm from [Company] and I'm here." He replied, "well, that's kind of obvious."
I've had plenty.
Best one was my typical "goodbye" phrase while working at a gas station was "Have a good one!" Of course, sometimes, people just came in to ask where the bathroom was, and that sentence just slips out anyway. It was bad enough it slipped out to this one old man while I was chatting with a guy I had a huge crush on, but when the old man came back through a few minutes later, he threw up his hand as he walked out the door and shouted, "I HAD A GOOD ONE!"
My dignity never recovered in front of my crush, but that old man had the best sense of humor 😂
Remember when i was younger I was in school helping a child do basic subtraction and he asked me "what's 7-4?" I responded with "fish"
2 + 2 is 4, minus 1 thats fish, quick maths
@@JUSTxK1LL1NGxT1M3 omg I'm so stupid I forgot 💀 💀
you know what that means…
ngl 7-4=3 does kinda look like a fish with its mouth open
@@glebglub
Now i can't unsee it
Shoutout to that time I went to a building where you have to be buzzed in through an intercom. I though you had to hold down the button on in order to talk to the people at the desk inside. In actuality, that button played a buzzing tone to get their attention, and in trying to tell them what I was buzzing in for I was actually just blasting them with an incessant buzzing for 30 solid seconds
Oh god, one time i wanted a banana milkshake from McDonald’s (i was very little) and ended up screaming “GIVE ME BANANA SHAKE SHAKE YUM” very loudly.
😂😂truly desperate for that banana flavor
6:37
This reminds me of my uncle. One time, he went to McDonald’s and was holding a tray that had his drink on it, and he turned slightly too fast and everything flew off. He then asked for another drink since he dropped his, and after he got the drink, someone (I forget who) asked him how he managed to drop his drink
My uncle said “oh it was like this” and proceeded to put it on the tray, and turn slightly too fast, causing everything to fall off.
That bathroom stall story reminded me of something that happened to me once:
A little backstory first: My brother constantly comes to my room to ask me things and I’ve trained him to knock on the door and wait for me to respond because I got sick of him just barging in. I always respond in an exasperated, slow WHAAAAAAAAAAT? At his knocks in the deepest voice I can manage.
So one day I was sitting on the shitter in a restaurant when someone knocked on the stall door. I, out of reflex, bellowed WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT from the top of my lungs before I realised I was in public. I waited until everyone had left the bathroom before I made a run for it back to my table. I can only imagine the look on the guy’s face
this is a great birthday present, thank you as always for the laughs matt!!
Happy bday!!
HAAAPPPPPYYYYY BIRTHDAY‼️‼️‼️✨
Happy birthday!
today is also my birthday!! happy birthday to u!!
happy birthday dude!
The other day, at the grocery store I work at, an old guy asked me if we had any pumpkins. I showed him where the canned pumpkins were and he said “oh, no no, sorry, I mean the actual pumpkins”
“Sir, it’s June” 💀
Edit: I meant to say that pumpkins aren’t generally sold in the Midwest year round, and while you can find them, most grocery stores don’t start carrying them till august or September, also by “canned pumpkins” I meant pumpkin pie filling, that one is on me
CANNED PUMPKINS?
I'm gonna be honest I've never heard of "canned pumpkins"
Importable from another country that can grow them at that time of year? Most fruit and vegetables are imported when out of season so pumpkins could be no different in that respect.
Gay pumpkins?
@@budcsizmazia like pumpkin pie filling
I was working at the till in a theatre on a really busy weekend, and I tried to call out 'I can help who's next!' but my brain got scrambled so AS customers are walking towards me I just yelled at these people 'and how are you paying today?'
I’ll never forget the time I was trying to ask this elderly lady “everything tasting good?” And “you guys doing alright right over here?” And accidentally told her with a straight face “you guys taste niceeeee.”
I was reading an order back to a customer and when i got to Tostado Salad with Cilantro Lime my brain malfunctioned and i said "And a C...C...S...Sly... Ah fu-- sorry. A Sal-Sal-- We can have your total for you at the window"
I was working a night shift and as I was doing my thing, around 5 am, my mind wandered to a scene of a show that involved a cat. At that moment a coworker walked in and I tried to call out "Mornin' " but instead just shouted "Meow!"
I love when customer service folks do this. Theres like a five second pause where I'm like "wat" and then I remember my CS days and we all laugh. Its w tiring time, man. Your regulars dont care and we are a team.
Half the time I go back to a place it's because I see they support their tired part-time crew
I work in a donut truck and instead of saying yelling “bucket”
I just made direct eye contact with a man and said in a really deep voice “OILY”
Sounds terrifying.
I worked at Party city and went over the intercom to do the closing announcement one day, said "attention party shitty shoppers-" Busted out laughing and hung up.
At a game store with a kitchen, I was ordering meatballs. I asked how big they were, since it only came with five of them, and was told "meatball sized"
When I first worked at J. Crew as a stylist years ago, I would stand near the entrance and greet customers by saying “Hi, Welcome to J. Crew” or something like that.
Once during the busy holiday season, my tongue slipped as I greeted a customer and I said “Hi, welcome to K. Jew, how can I crew you?”.
Someone asked me for a birthday party hat and asked what color are they and I said " Uhhh ? they're colored like birthday hats "
valid question
The only thing that can make Mondays better: A British man screaming in the middle of the day.
EVERYONE SUB TO MATT, GET HIM TO 1 MILLION
It's 7pm
@@YeahThisIsMe-zs1mx For me it is 11:00 AM. I live in LA
Where I live it’s 20:16 (translation for Americans: 8:16 pm)
@@YeahThisIsMe-zs1mxits 8:17 pm (what the hell is a different timezone never heard of that)
2 pm
Well the most important thing to remember working a service job is that if the customer is young they're more scared of you than you are of them, but if they're an older customer every tiny little mistake you make will be scrutinized.