Does everyone live like this? Help Me!!! [Hello Counselor Sub : ENG,THA / 2018.03.05]
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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when the hosts are better parents than her parents
Ria Rose lol ikr
and the guests 😂😂🤣
Ria rose 😂
IKR
It is heartbreaking 😔
she doenst want a daughter, she wants a second chance to be what she couldnt
you got that right. i kept crying. she is so hard hearted.wasnt the tears moving her a little. i pray for the little girl.
Yeah, that's the biggest ugly truth.
I think she just doesn't want to admit she is wrong
The parents should watch jennifer pan case
Exactly. I actually cried watching this especially when she started crying because she doesnt deserve that, and she especially doesnt deserve to be that stressed out and unloved that she cries when people acknowledge her.
"her grandparents live in the building next door so she goes to them to be loved" ARE YOU JOKING
Miriah that is so sad :(
unfortunately it's a sad reality to many burntout children
if not grandparents, friends and _their_ parents, aunts, uncles, just any loved one w no unhealthy high expectations
Its a different people that said "to be loved"
I'll be fucking pissed if it were her mother said the obvious shit she should be given.
when she said that I thought "Then what the hell are parents for?"
😔
I want Jessi on one of these shows, she'll set parents straight.
SAME! I'd love to hear what she has to say, but at the same time she's so not PG-13 LMAO
yes the hosts should really be ore harsh, Jessi really would give the facts out straight
Yaa
jessi was on this show 6 years ago along with rm, v, kim kayeon
i agree!
the mother wasn't good in studying and right now she and her husband aren't good in parenting.
nocturne and they are kind of parents that caused depression
Maybe she got botched brain surgery, that's why she can't understand empathy or compassion.
She's only good at making her daughter sad 😩
do you think if (I say "if" just in case the child hasn't killed themselves by then considering the female suicide rate is HIGH in Korea) she grows up and has a child, the mother will try to force her to raise the child a curtain way cause she was never good as a parent?
It seemed like the grandparents were doing a better job at parenting than the parents were...
Dindin advice cracks me up "in that case, show your mom what the real zero is" 😆😆
she should know what the real zero meaning.
DinDin saved the episode with that line
swan 21 i laughed so hard on that 😂😂😂😂
swan 21 ikr
He really voiced out my thought right there 😂
I cried when she said "I didn't think many people will acknowledge me". She is just in 4th grade, my lord 😤
iekanzaki 😢😢😢
Same 😢😢😢😢😢😢 it's too much
iekanzaki I'm sick and tired of parents like this. Hate them. Children don't have to study so much in such early age!!! Fanatics. They are their children! Just spend some time with them or your own child will hate you for the rest of your life! They are not some robots!!! I have some experiences with several children... I work as a babysitter and teacher... Some of those parents should hear what their children say to me about their life and feeling about their parents. And I'm glad that I can be that one person who receive their love and smiles when they even see me unless their parents.
I wish this program could help in such situations, but it's not enough!!! People don't change. But I wish these parents could make some effort to be better for their kids
The fact she could word it that way is amazing in itself. She is totally aware of what it is doing to her.
I don’t get why this mother is crying. She doesn’t deserve to cry when she’s the root of all of Haeun’s problems.
thats exactly what i said. she caused all of that pain for her
So yall are forgetting the dad?
@@bp-u-will-always-be-famous I also feel like it's more of her dad like pressuring her mom so that mom can pressure the child.
It's okay for her to cry too....
Like...I've been through this at the same age n the same problem....once i dared to speak out after a 1000 unsuccessful attempts....i got many slaps n suffered a lot too...but I'm happy that my life is at least a bit better than before...💜
It was okay for her to cry up until she shook her head at EVERYTHING people were saying to HELP her and refused to change her mind... despite seeing her daughter hurt and crying. After she did that I was like why did you even cry if you aren't going to change your ways? You don't feel any remorse for ruining your daughters childhood?
i have a few words for that “mother.”
your child is NOT your second life. don’t push your aspirations and dreams onto them.
You're right
And even she was too lazy to do it
Such a Stupid Lazy bitch
I agree my dad say that i was born from him so i should listen to him so i could do things he couldn't life is hard for me
That and studies aren't supposed to be a way to shirk your parenting responsibilities!
Agree!
They say sad people laugh a lot, you know?
Yes:)
Im one of those people I express all of my emotions through laughter but on the inside I’m just a mess of insecurities and sadness.
*Once you rapmon you cant rapoff Same, also ARMY 💜
well this says a lot about my life.....
This hit me hard 🙈😭
I don't know why only 145 people voted for her. This is definitely a serious concern.
Because this is the norm in Korea to put pressure on kids to study hard. I'm not saying everyone in Korea is like that but the fact that only 145 people thought this was a serious concern is very telling.
meadoremums people never get more than 160 and ppl have different perceptions
it's so normal for us in Hong Kong... basically East Asian countries in general. This is NOT a concern. We all have to go through this. And look at me, I'm studying medicine now. Thanks to my mom's pushing. Even though she beat me up like a dog many times, I have to thank her.
god how could this NOT be a concern to you???????
@@rachmaninoffsergei3772 i got to medicine school without going though hell and without any pressure from my parents I haven't been beaten even once
She's doing more than I am doing in my entire life
Fr 😭😭
pls ikr
i literally complain when i have lessons till 6pm and i feel so bad rn :(
Fr for me all of my lessons only last 7:30am to 12:30am, and yet I still complain so much, imagine how much she feels especially that she's younger than me... a child also needs to spend her/his childhood and it's not always about study and study, studies or good grades doesn't even define that you will be successful....
Fr
"Life is too hard." When a child says it, it's heartbreaking. If she makes it to adulthood and feels the same way, still isolated, the resulting actions could become much more grim.
The guy next to her wearing the green shirt (idk his name sorry) literally took care of her he kept talking to her and gave her tissues when she started crying he is taking care of her more then that "mother" is
One of the reasons why so many Koreans suicide, this kid is a perfect example and will probably do the same when she gets older, it is very sad.
......I am a child I thought it was normal to feel that way........I EXPERIENCED ADULT HOOD FOR 3 YEARS?????
what time did she say that?
@@nadingovand7005 its dindin
“I didn’t know so many people would acknowledge me” OH MY- THAT BROKE MY HEART.....
yea mee too 😭
same :(
Same😔 i actually feel the same way as her
I cant believe she was so grateful for getting people to appreciate her
@@kaitlinrojasreyes1840 same :)
"I buy rice balls at the convince store"
FOR DINNER?! A FOURTH GRADER BY HERSELF BUYING HER DINNER?! AT LEAST PACK SOMETHING LIKE A BUSY MOTHER NORMALLY DOES THAT IS IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT BUSY!
Also all of her awards WOW! what a brilliant young lady...
Yeah but the look on the mother's face said "She could've done better." smh
My mom gets up early to prepare meals for me cause i have class and i am in highschool...even if i tell her that ill do it myself she still insists on preparing it herself....poor kid i wish her mom will change her ways....
The parents are misers, the child is neglected. Some parents use education as an excuse to avoid parenting the child, their "education" IS ABUSE..
Shes so smart and yet here I am sucking at math :")))
When i was in highschool mg parents wake up at 4am to prepare food for me..thats why i also do the same towards my children...my children even they are already 7yrs and 8yrs old i still feed them so that they eat better...so frustrating...pity on her...whats the value of education if your child not happy about it...
I couldn't help but notice how bubbly and happy she is when she's going through so much. I feel like she was really enjoying that the adults around her were complimenting her and giving her the validation she was seeking so much from her mom it must have meant so much to her and she definitely won't forget her time on this show.
Really hope behind that happiness isn't sadness.
It's so heartbreaking tbh
It's really sad when she said *When I grow up I'll be a good daughter* when she is like the best daughter one can get
I know, she already thinks that she's not good enough to earn her parents' love. That's going to keep haunting her when she grows up if her parents don't change.
It hurts me how she's crying one minute then smiling the other...it made me cry..
She doesn't deserve to live like this...I hope she gets what she wants..let her live
I thought that was normal. I still cope like that at 21
The way her face lit up when they got her awards out she was so happy to get complimented that broke my heart
Meow kpop your profile feels sad too
@@strivingtoonedaybeuseful6049 me too..I am 21 too😁
@@selenasleftshoe7820 I'm aware thanks... ffs
I'm korean and my mom also gave me a rigid schedule...I finally snapped my last year of high school! quit everything, skipped school, started flunking classes, and got diagnosed with severe depression... I got into a great university and my parents were so happy!! but guess what? I was still depressed af. got expelled. spent months in therapy.
how did all that studying work out for me huh??? basically: dont be a shitty parent if you really want your child to succeed
hanasaurus 🙁 i hope you are in better condition now
Girl do what you want to do so you can be happy, don't let other people control your life like that. Good luck and hope you're getting better now.
I hope you are feeling better Unnie! Life will get better I promise 💛 행운을 빕니다! ☺️🙆🏾♀️
I hope you are feeling better! Take care of yourself ❤️
I'm also korean and my parents gave me a super rigid schedule. I studied for about 15 hours a day since I was in 3rd grade and even more in high school. I remember I made top 20 in the nation for math but my mom and dad were angry that I couldn't be first after all the lessons. All the missed play dates and hangout times I longed for were gone and I got into Yale for law just 2 years ago. I didn't even want to do law, I wanted to do sports medicine because my one outlet for stress relief was to watch sports secretly. Having no friends but a simple 45 minutes game helped me most of my life. Now after watching Sky castle, I asked for a leave of absence from yale last semester without telling my parents and told them everything I had bottled up for the past 10 years. I told him how sick of parents they were and how I was suicidal and depressed for my whole life. I am now at a part time job at a small studio and have stopped contact for my parents for the past 5 months. Although money is a bit hard now, I must say for the first time in my life, I can sleep when I want, I can do what I want, I can eat when I want, these simple things that I never took for granted are now possible for me. The one good thing about Yale was that I made a close friend for the first time and that friend has been helping me through. I never thought I would be stable enough to have a friend but its been blessing. I never want to wish this life upon anyone and I can see Haeun probably rebelling sooner or later. I hope your doing better now hanasaurus, if you need someone to talk to, just pm me, good luck to anyone who reads this
look at how she talks about her awards with the host, that just shows how she craves for validity with her awards even though she wasn't in first place
This is how you destroy a parent child relationship. If you’re a parent never do this
This is also how you ruin your child's whole life even if you're a part of it later on or not.
Exactly.
the child is even still naive to think the mother "loves her when really she just sees her as a white whiteboard where she can create her second life. i hate that parents do that
I'm pretty sure non-narcissist loving parent's would never do this. And sadly these kinds of parents will never hear you and will feel personally attacked when you try to make them realise they are destroying their children's lives
i got so pissed off when the mother was talking, each and every word that came out of the mother's mouth was so infuriating😤😤
I started crying when she cried :'( I really hope her situation will change
kardolantis same 😢😢
me too! i kept crying :(
kardolantis dude same
Same it feels sorta relatable to some range.
I literally bawled my eyes out, I don't think I've cried this much for any of the concerns ever! When I was 11, my parents sent me to a school where teachers abused kids and my parents wouldn't show me any support (let alone transfer me to a different school) so I didn't even understand as a kid that it was not normal, and later they sent me to study abroad and even though I got very homesick they wouldn't let me come back for years... Until I got physically sick and now I have this chronic illness as a reminder probably for the rest of my life... The doctors can't do anything, because it's related to a mental issue, they just say it's probably a result of trauma. No matter how I try to forgive my parents now, it's very difficult. I hope this girl can have her life back...
4:08 her laughter is so beautiful 🤩 please don’t make her loose it with so much stress 😢
Many parents would kill for a kid like that. Why can't she and her husband appreciate what they've already had?
Arctic Falcon many parents are slowly killing their kids for them to be like that. The golden child is a real problem. I was gifted at a young age and did very well through college... and am now struggling as a young adult. The pressure hasn’t changed, but the amount of things to be great at have certainly dwindled and failure is eminent.
Ikr they got a child THAT SMART and they would waste it on bad parenting. The parents aren’t ready for parenting yet
I know my parents would😌 with my fatass watching hello counselor all day
therachelsam that’s me right now my parents say they are doing the best for me while I’m great rn I don’t know what life has in store for me later it’s just stressful that they push this on me which is the main cause of my depression and how they are strict about almost everything they find is an excuse I pull that’s why I don’t have many friends which makes me feel less than anyone else due to the fact my social skills are so bad it just sucks 😞
I wish I was like that kid!
When he said 'You must read to eat.' I got very angry. No child should be left without proper food. If the mother knows she'll be late every day, then she should meal prep in advance.
Kate Jehlickova I think he meant it in a funny way because she herself said she reads rice by chance
Kylee Battle Exactly. I don't have kids myself, but I think it's a common sense to give a child food at regular times because it supports their body and mind growth.
@@Misaki16JAP yeah
I know I am late to comment but 10pm is way past dinner time it's not even healthy to eat a meal at this time either.
I was thinking the same thing!!!! I'm sure she would leave food for a dog if she would be gone the entire day
If i ever get married and get a daughter like her,i'll be the happiest person ever
나나skelfkg Ikr same here
나나skelfkg Honestly me too! That child is so cute, nice and very smart. Those awards are well deserved! 👏👏👏👏👏👏
Same (btw I looovvvee your profile pic! HELLO FELLOW ARMY!)
u know, if i did attend there, i would shout "be my sister, i'll love you more than your mother. you're so precious cutie one" i'd love to shout it out and fucking take her to my home.
Swaglicious We’re talking about the daughter , not you sweetie
I love the guy who was sitting next to her, he was mad nice and kept wiping her tears for her. If only her mom would do the same and actually love her
Yeah he was really cute to her. That warmed my heart.. ♥️
@Kubra DIN DIN think hes a comedian
@@joonie9347he's a rapper
"In that case, show her what a real zero is..." HAHAHAHAHA YOU GO GIRL! FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!
Just one advice :
You dreams are not your children's, don't make them live your life
Nur Qurratun Ain preach. and don't get mad when they become nothing.
Agree
Nur Qurratun Ain Agreed. My parents want me to become an engineer or doctor like my cousins but they never ask what I like or passionate about. Now, I grow up to be depressed, anxious and phobia of failures as they always reminded me that I disobeyed them by not following their 'advices' as I took a science course at university and still struggling finding a job today
Well said, I think sometimes parents don't want their children to go through the same experience or path as they did, not sure if that's the case here though 😅😅
Little Miss Introvert i hope everything works well for you out there, i understand how you feel.. i hope you'll be able to live your life with passion and enthusiasm even after all that. Cheer up! 💪💕
"She has her grandmother" TF. Imagine being THAT obsessed. Girl should have been a teacher rather than a mother. Smh😤
Did the grandmother gave birth to her? Lmao
She wouldn’t be smart enough to become a teacher
Its too sad to be a reality, even teachers give compliments to small progress to the least performer students.
Ikr! How come she push her daughter with study but refuse to give her a comfort as a mother??? What is she? A 'machine' maker? Her daughter is a human for fucks sake:"((( Just imagine if (sorry to say this) her grandparents isn't with her anymore, she doesn't have a place to comfort herself if that happens
I knowww why is she so stupid tbh
This is why parents should not put their frustrations to their children, just because they haven't done it when they are young. :)
“I read rice... I mean I eat.”
“You must not read rice!”
Lmao 😂. But then when she cried, I was mad. She was never complimented on her hard work. And to be honest, she is way better than me even if I’m in 7th grade.
Yeah she was like
"I never knew how much I could be acknowledged"
This is so true. I'm currently teaching English to Korean children. This is their culture, it's really heartbreaking. I have been teaching English more than a year now. I've met different children. Ha Eun is so kind and nice. She still smiles and she's so sweet. Not all students are like her, some are rude and rowdy. Still, I try to understand their situation because this is the pressure they need to endure.
I have one student, he's in high school. He's crying while we're having class because he still needs to study until 12 midnight. He hated studying, he wanted to die and just end everything. I can't help but to feel sad and anxious. I always comfort my students. They feel terrible and depress. Sometimes, they tend to sleep in my class but I try to understand them. Imagine studying for 12 hours?! Who won't be exhausted. So I'm really trying my best to make the class enjoyable and fun.
Before our class ends, I always tell them that I'm proud of them and don't be too harsh on themselves. I really love my Korean students even if it's hard. I won't get tired of listening to their stories and being their sister to cry on.
EDITED: Hi, I'm still teaching Korean students. Thank you for your concern and regards. I'll share all of your regards to my students. For all teachers, please don't hesistate to give a helping hand to our students. I know that we are not only teachers by profession but also by heart.
Saranghae everyone! Have a good day!
I hope that they will someday fond happiness for themselves
you are a hero.
they are lucky to have you
This made me tear up i'm glad these kids have such a kind teacher
Theyre lucky they have you. I wish i could get to know someone like you. You did a very good job ♡☆♡
She scolded her for getting average on p.e. how is she going to get excellent on p.e when she doesn't have time to play?
exactly
I have all A's but when it comes to physical education, I don't run with any effort. :”)
Kwon Byul EXACTLY
Kwon Byul EXACTLY.
Kwon Byul
Exactly
I really respect the guests and hosts to have so much patience to not get up and yell out for the little girl who's suffering at that young age
i disrespect it, how can they just accept she keep raise this kid after all that?
this woman need therapy, and this little girl need be loved, and get back her life
If I was one of the hosts, I would have yelled at her Mom.
I have never had full score at an exam that woman must hate me hahahahhahah
LOVE_ Kookie#BTS ikr 😂
nah i'm pretty much dead meat if i were her daughter imao
+Fried Egg 😂😂feels
Gyahahahahahahaha, true
If my mother forced me to do something, I wouldn't be rude, but I'd still do the opposite. If she forces me to study, I'd study, but fails on purpose
don't they realize how serious it is when a child sends into other adults for help.
RIGHT?? Complete child abuse.
hey thats me!
how could she only got 145 votes?! shees what did other people think when they vote "not a concern" while there's a little girl crying in front of them for being trapped in her mom's ego?
I wish Haeun will always smiling that bright and cheerfully and fulfill whatever her dream is cause I believe she could reach it without any extra lessons
fighting Haeun-ah!
Amira Anbiya i wish i could tell her parent to stop being too tough on her. She's only a child, and if she can live happily, she will turn into a great woman
There was only 200 people there. Calm down. If you don't know their reason don't complain about it
23:44 that was so cute when she said she'll take his place once he retires, I'm so glad she is still trying to be happy even though there's been so much stress on her :(
She wants to be a celebrity
She likes to dance
She likes to sing too
I’ll be happy to see her on stage as an idol or a musician someday maybe?
That was my thought too ~ I wouldn't be surprised if she was talented at that...either way, I hope she's able to pursue her own dreams ㅠㅠ
yea, i qould be proud of her
If the mother doesn't change even after this, I doubt that even if the child does become a celebrity or starts training for one, she'd just be pressured with doing that with a perfect score too and the Mom would keep trying to have a control over her life in any and every way she can.
i also wanna be an idol but my mom (she was the only one whom i told coz i thought she would support me)doesn't like it...i even had tarotastrology reading and it said its gonna be true but my mom doesn't support its just so hard..but im still doing my best...even though she nagsbut i do..its sos hard,
@@kkukuing3308 mine was kind of the same way but she told me after I graduate high school I can do what I want so I’m going to audition after that. Maybe if you make the same agreement with your mom like I did mine maybe that’ll work?
Does she feel nothing when she saw her child crying for her love and affection? And for an actual life to live?
How selfish can you be?
s h a h r a z a yes even us who's not related at all feels her but her mom can't relate omg 😡
Sophea Tonsing right? she refuses to even acknowledge her plea. :'(
she should get her child taken away from her and give the grandparents full custody....the mom obviously has unresolved mental health issues
I'm Balling my eyes out for this little girl 😭😭😭
This is child abuse. Verbally and psychologically by withholding love and affection because your possession isn't achieving all A's or whatever the crazy lady wants. For such a young kid to be crying and be under this much stress, it's not good for her overall health either. Really want to slap that woman. Even in the end she doesn't acknowledge anything.
She never complain about her mother telling her to study more...she just wanna her mom giving her love&compliment for her hard work yet the mother only say and telling her study study and study
she should be thankful her precious daughter still loves her the way she does. if this continues the story might be a lil different in the not too far future
😢
I’d love to know how this child is doing today. I hope she is well-adjusted. She has a beautiful, loving spirit and although the entire panel was supportive, I loved the attention and caring from Din Din.
A little girl says that life is too hard while crying . That’s heartbreaking😭🤧💔
"i don't think she'll rebel."
come back after she becomes a highschooler and we'll see if she's still the 'good girl' you invisioned her to be.
Dindin is looking like he’s about to sign the adoption papers for Haeun to make her life better
raytwin11 I've only seen DinDin in a few shows but i already know i like him. His interactions with her were so heartwarming. I'd want her as a sister ♡ she's adorable and it's her mom's problem if she can't see that -_-
+JCXP123 Ikr I fell in love with him watching this episode
she's so happy showing off her accomplishments, you can see she just wants to be acknowledged and complimented
many people criticised this show for not having actual experts/ therapists but at least it's already a good thing these people know through this show that their problems are valid and they're not alone
I'm an online teacher for Korean students. And in every class I have there would be one or two students who are very rude. But still, I understand there situation. They're studying even they don't like it. Some of them wouldn't answer, will be rude or worst cry in front of me because they don't want to study anymore. They just got off from school, hagwon (Academy- some students will be late going home because they have many hagwons to attend to), then my class, then they'll study before going to sleep. I got a 10-11pm class of 8 year old kids. Even during weekends they'll have an after school, or academies even if it's a holiday.
That's why, it saddens me when they say that they're sleepy in class and being sad for having a class. That's why, I make jokes/ sings and does anything I can to make them laugh and ease there stress for a bit.
And I'm proud of them for trying there best. At the end of the class, I'll remind them to not study too much. Even if it's stressful to my part to. I still love my Daegu kiddos
That's so sad! 8 year olds shouldn't even be awake at 10-11 pm, they should be in bed!
"i dont think she will be a rebel" LOL ok
My thoughts exactly.
Exactly
She has no idea.
I think nowadays kids committed suicide for all these kind of unnecessary stress. Is it even worth it to kill your children like that. I get it education is important your future depends on your certificate but she also need her own social life and favorite activities like dancing. I feel so sad for her
Shania L. That's what they all say *smh* but in the end it always happens lol
She will cut her ties with that family once she can. You can't be happy in that environment. Her parents aren't even over achievers and they think they have a leg to stand on. What kind of example are they for their children?
sunny 85 I had the same thought, when she’s older she will resent her parents and probably won’t see them if they don’t change
Yeah, like they push all this on her, but then they aren't exceeding like she is? Yes parents want their kids to be better than them but there is a line and when you cross it its called hypocrisy.
She will forever remember DinDin and how the hosts treated her. She felt so loved and appreciated.
The girl is going to grow up and resent her mom, it’s really sad...
but aww Henry is so adorable with her
Madison Delgado it's Dindin tho 😂
Madison Delgado its dindin but i understand u ....at first glance d i taught its was henry...lol😅
he isnt henry 😂😂😂
Madison Delgado its Dindin but i get you they have the same personality 😂
he does look a little like Henry though XD in physics and personality
a child should not be crying so much in 30 minutes. dont just say you love your daughter; make her smile.
Ash it’s edited so it’s more
@@ujung-ahujung-hae7503 😭😭 poor thing 😭😭
"I didn't know so many people would acknowledge me"
Why did this hit me so hard? My heart is shattered.
After she said she was VP, I said aloud, “her parents were probably pissed she wasn’t president.” The host had the same idea, and it breaks my heart to have been right. This is so sad. Children are people, abs they deserve the same rights. She got an “average” for PE and “planning leisure time” when she obviously doesn’t have time to practice either of those things. Just because she’s smart doesn’t mean you should take her life away. 😭😢 She seems like such a good kid, too. She’s extremely smart. I’m glad she was acknowledged by so many. This is why Asian parents have this stereotype of over-criticizing and under-praising.
There's been a lot of studies that show that people who actually get average grades in school are a lot more successful because they're more concerned with understanding content rather than chasing an achievement. Being concerned with only getting the highest grade also can lead to students feeling lost in higher education and their careers because they were taught to only work for a number or some sort of validation as opposed to actually producing valuable and meaningful work.
Angela Dang I wish my mom would believe in that,she thinks that being average is not enough,as the eldest of the family,she keeps pushing me to study even though it hurts me,I’m just turning 12 and I already have depression,and I always fight it,I hope my mom would just change or something.🙁
This is so true. I excelled in secondary school but now I am only in the first year of uni, I'm demotivated and burnt out while surrounded with so many bright people.
It's hard to talk to parents about it because they expect the same level of performance...
going thru the exact same thing, so i understand where you're coming from. i don't know your situation, but the thing that's been helping me cope with feeling like i'm constantly disappointing my parents and feeling demotivated by it is reminding myself that they might never be satisfied with the things i'm doing or achieving, and that that's okay. their standards for success and mine might be a little different, and it's hard to see them disappointed and it's hard to feel like i'm failing them, but if where i'm at or you're at in life is okay with you and you feel like you're happy and doing enough, then that's what matters. it's not your responsibility to force them to understand this about you, and i know in certain cultures, it's more important to respect the wishes of your parents and elders than to feel personally fulfilled and happy, but remember that your mental health and sense of self worth (which affects your physical health, believe me) are more important than worrying about letting down your family. it'll take time, but hopefully if you keep persisting and showing your parents that no matter what you do, you care about them, still love and respect them, and genuinely want to make them proud, they'll come around and see that your happiness is just as important, and that the way you achieve that might not be the way they wanted or expected you to, but that that's okay.
i understand how you feel, and i'm sorry you're going through this. it's a lot to ask a middle school kid to overachieve and it places a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. i would suggest sitting down with your mom and telling her that having to study constantly is stressing you out and making you feel burned out. try to be respectful in the way you approach her, otherwise if you come to the conversation blaming her, she probably won't take you seriously. try to remind her that you know she's just concerned about your future and wants the best for you, but that in order for you to achieve at the level she wants you to, you need time to rest and recharge, because being stressed and burned out all the time will affect the way you study. hope this helps! i'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. just remember that a lot of people out there have gone through the same thing or are going through the same thing and are supporting you.
I understand you. I'm the oldest in my fam and was the first to go to college, so I know where you're coming from. Looking back at my high school days, I really regret not having fun while studying. I mean, education is good and all, but I wished I valued what i was learning and not be so pricky about getting all A's all the time. I'm lucky to not have depression, mostly becuz i had close friends who were going through the same thing, and i had a mild ADHA, so i didn't always listened to my parent's "lectures". Honestly, it's all about confidence in yourself. If you can tell your parents that you want to go out and shop or something to stress-relieve yourself, do it. You need to tell them your thoughts and feelings. You could try talking with your counselor at school to help talk to them as well. Just do not, I repeat, do not keep your feelings inside. Let them all out.
Imagine, she's just 11yo and trying to carry all of her burdens on her own. So heart breaking. Im sure ur teary eyed when u watched this episode.
she's probably 10 or even 9 because korean age system is different with international age
@@mapprysh0764 4th graders are 9 or 10 in America too
I did cry so much, it's so heartbreaking watching this little girl struggle so much more than me even though I'm older tha her, why does people have to be cruel?? why does her mother have to be so cruel??! Her mom must have a real reason for that, I always wish Haeun the best as well as her family. I hope till this day she is being treated better because this treatment is no joke, it's a serious concern...
@@florence.066 her mom seems to be living through Haeun. She's making her do everything she wanted to do and didn't do as a young woman. But she's forgetting that her daughter is a human, a person of her own.
I swear some people just don't deserve kids
you're absolutely right
Mike Lee Mike, don't insult kids. Their innocence and their humanity, their empathy... Don't insult them.
AuraAcqua My friend, Mike isn't insulting children. He is insulting the irresponsible adults that make the innocent children.
Lisa
Actually yes
ikr
i really want to tell the mother that, soon that child would grow with a mindset "even if i follow her and do good, she wouldn't still appreciate it so why not just do what i want?"
Lol that’s exactly how I was bought up. And I’m a living example of that’s exactly how you grow up. You’re absolutely right.
@@deepshikhadas3418 Ikr. This was so frustrating at times
That mother... >:( she doesnt seem to listen to her child and is closed minded to use her brain surgery as a reason to educationally manufacture her child even though the child really wants to have free time and have a happy life. I feel so sad for the child :c
Dovid Cohen she doesnt have brain at all.
Mike Lee . they are the worst parents. they are abusing their child.. i really wanted to slap them 500 times.
True. It's due to the false consensus effect where people tend to overestimate how much other people agree with them. The mom thinks that having her child take all these lessons is what a lot of other people do. The mom isn't listening to her child because she wants to keep her level of self-esteem. Making her child do all the things she regrets not doing is due to wanting to feel good about herself. She doesn't seem to care about her child at all. It's all in her mind. She sees her child as herself.
I feel the kid. I've been through that same thing too and it's really hard that, even if you did your best, one failed thing wouldn't make them proud.
At the end of the day the mother said she can’t lessen her workload (meaning volin & piano lesson to be continued). So she’s back to the life of study and more study also learning instrument she don’t even enjoy.
"Show her. What's a real zero is." hahahah
Yeah, punch that bitch in the face.
Everytime she cries I was crying too. Poor girl hope she'll live a life as she wants from now on.
Chim lover🤗🤗🤗
Setting kids up for burnout is so upsetting. Especially at this young age. No cartoons?! Regardless she has amazing emotional intelligence being able to catch the hosts jokes. I hope she’s doing amazing because she sounds like she has great awareness to her needs but also very capable of success to what she wants
When the mom said that she'll be free once she's in college, I was thinking "At this rate, she might commit suicide before then :c "
I thought the same... She is so bright.. She will be more than fine if the parents change their attitude... If this doesn't change then by the time she is 16 or 17 it might get worse.. That mom needs to open her eyes
I thought the exact same thing. I really hope this girl can find positivity. And Hope the mom takes advice and sees a specialist
IF she survives to college-age she will probably rebel like crazy, like even start doing heavy drugs thus ruining her life for all future and get in all sort of trouble and since she also never was allowed to have friends she will probably also become friends with the criminals that can party with her and do drugs with her. I'm sad for her future. Even if she doesn't rebel she will still carry trauma from being treated so badly by both her parents for so long and being constantly pushed beyond her limits.
My life so far summed up
i thought this too. She said her life is terrible, so why would she want to live that long before she can actually live her life the way she wants too
She is not a mother but a MONSTER.
The little girl is stressed because of her “mother” just at the age of 11...
She doesn’t watch cartoon or play because she “need” to study?!! Wtf!!
Shes actually younger since it is in korean age. She is either 9 or 10 :(
Lee개미 but in Korean age they count them older not younger
@@Doux444 thats what they said
@@Doux444 11 years is Korean age so minus 1-2 years it's around 9-10 yo
I was really stressed at 9 because of my mom, and now it’s developed into depression
That mother is a disgusting human being. She doesn’t deserve a daughter that sweet and talented.
That's kind of rude thing to say, i kjow you're offended but calling someone that isn't right
@Mymy Ohno that “mother” is abusive towards a helpless little girl. Anyone who’s willing to put someone, their child especially, through that kind of mental beating/torture is disgusting. I don’t feel any remorse for what I said. It may be rude, but I have zero tolerance for that kind of behavior. I have a mentally abusive mom, so I know how this girl is feeling. My mom would call me a worthless piece of shit or a selfish bitch constantly. Whenever I so much as looked at her funny, she was screaming at me and blaming me for her drinking and for her marriage falling apart. I got straight A’s in high school, but one A- meant I wasn’t working hard enough. This girl is going to spend the rest of her life with self-esteem issues like me, thinking that she’s not good enough because that’s all she heard from her mother. Even tho my mom doesn’t say the same things she used to, the mental damage is irreversible.
So like I said before. That woman is disgusting and should be ashamed of herself.
Malomaar LB she probably wanted her daughter to be smart, but I had to say tbh it’s too much pressure on a child to go through everyday studying and learning so much and have little dinner and late food. And with not having friends and no social life’s it’s such a pity, she won’t even have a nice childhood except all the studies. It’s just sad that her mom force her to do all these things just to see how daughter like that, that mothers ego is so high.
Her smile when they were seeing her awards. I'm sobbing.
What they said is exactly right...when parents are too strict on their child, the child will end up falling apart because he/she is studying only for the parent rather than for themselves. They end up lost. And a lot of them end up failing out of college because their parents weren't there to tell at them to study and they never developed their own study habits or had a goal they wanted to reach.
I hope the mom at least considers letting her drop one instrument....maybe just piano instead of both piano and violin...and lets her do what she wants with the extra hour or so
It's crazy to force your kids to study like that, it damaged your kid :/
Amalia Marina I don't think that it just damaged it just basically raising their kid as to become physchopath or killer in the future if her mom keep raising her daughter that way
she should be treated like a human
Rain Ng actually I think it's damage her souls, her body and her mind, her mother is such a pathetic, she said that she don't like study, yet push her daughter to do that, eventually she study just her to make her mother giving her compliment, but since it's so normal, she getting no response, this girl will grow to be insecure and anxious person later
Sabo Sankara yeah exactly
she is held like a dog. but thats just the usual style of parenting in a lot of countrys ;3 (german education system). watch the new video of teal swan if you want to be blown away xD
that woman is pure evil, she doesn't even listen and straight up refuses haeun's best friend's request. WOW SHE IS OBSESSED WITH GRADES and not the well being of her daughter
5 min in the video and i'm obsessed with her laugh, hearing that laugh everyday would already cheer me up
I love how the hosts praise her for her excellence and show her how well she’s done. When she cried about being recognized for her hard work my heart broke. I hope she will not forget this day. Her mother is crazy.
These hosts shame such regressive and harmful parenting, I am thankful for their clarity in treating kids with humanity. I love their outrage. While they remain “polite”, you can tell they are serious with concerns like this.
Agree completely.
The way she lost her smile when her mom started talking is sad
Oh i thought i was the only one who noticed
*Toxic mother added with toxic father makes a fire of emotion* I hope the girl can live her life❤️
I'm so happy to see this comment because it's also what I'm thinking. I'm also really happy because the idols on the show said just what I would like to say to this little girl, they were all very supportive and I hope this show will help her grow up healthly
more sad to see that she laughed so loud and happily but actually she's in pain..
It's like she just want to laugh loudly so that she can forget her problem for a moment:'(
*I'll forever be thankful that she's not my Mom.*
Is it bad if i wish haeun should rebel? If I'm haeun I DEFINITELY WILL LET HER KNOW WHAT IS ZERO!
She definitely should. I just hope this mother doesn't ruin this sweet child completely.
Lmao that was me. As an asian girl in an asian fam, When I was young i got 98 out of 100 for math and my mom caned me and said told me to get out of her house if i didn't get 100 next time.
And the next exam, i purposely handed in an empty paper and ran away from home. (Since she said to get out of her house so i took it as i cant go home, so i didn't) and she got scared. And from then on she dont really care for my grades as long as i dont fail. 😂
@@ArmyLyra hahahhaha wow I should praise ur bravery 😂 even tho I'm an Asian I am glad that my parents are not too strict and whenever they lecture me about my mark I would play dumb😅😅
@@ArmyLyra LMAOO MOOD
I grew up with my mom being exactly like hers my mother never told me she was proud of my perfect scores and never praised me for getting awards each month, she yelled at me for getting one question wrong on a test and made me do excessive after school activities. and as I got older I stopped trying, my grades dropped I gave up completely because I would never earn my mothers appreciation for how hard I worked. I never did this for myself I got awards so she could be proud of me but she never was, now here I am a high school senior going to a continuation school my mother trying to repair a bond that was never there. I hope this girl starts doing her work for herself and I hope her mother changes. I don't want this girl to end up like me because I realized too late that I should be doing my school work for myself and shouldn't seek out my mothers appreciation if I would have known sooner that I would never get it I would have stopped trying years ago. she's intelligent and bright she doesn't deserve this, her youth is being wasted.
myeyesocket
I'm just like you, but I went on a different path. I run away from home and went to my home country. I quit school for 1 year and then went back home to her. She was scared about everything and she realizes what was wrong. Since she's been trying to talk about our difference but I feel like it's too late like you.
I'm in.
My father start to form a bond with me at the age of 28...... At that timei didn't need it.... Because there is really no need than, when i was having tough time, was young could not decide things for myself, he didn't listen nor even reply good so i give up, muster muself, did everything by myself, so at the 28 age i didn't need him when he tried..... And now turning 30.... If someone says you talked with your father and it's in my mind like, oh who talk with their father....... Now for a year i am far from home it's completely finished...... But i always feel like something missed out and tries that thing here and there around other people and friends
Same, now I'm failed more like three times... I feel so drained to try anything, but in the end. Im independent now, away from my parents so I started working on my grades again. Wish me luck. Even though.. I know I'm a failure right now.
Oh my gosh this makes me sad to see your stories... I really hope you are all doing ok by now. And please never think that you are a failure... We should all not be able to have experienced this kind of treatment from our parents. As children they need to be able to experience how to be children and not be pressured at all to do so well. I have 3 kids and i always teach them “Win or lose it doesn’t matter... What matters is that you tried.” That is how it should be for children. I cried for Ha Eun. I hope she is doing well now. 💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I love how they looked at each award and complimented her for them
I never studied hard in my young ages...i spent my days playing with friends and did what i love..and now I am a lecturer..
Girl..fighting..do what u love
26:44 she even said that she don't want to stop studying she just want to be loved, a lot of kids will be angry but sua even said i Love you
Some years ago, there was a girl whom mom forced her to always study and to always have a perfect score and so be the first of her school. That young girl was so tired that the day she had perfect score everywhere, she killed her self and the only note left was this : "are you satisfied now"? This just shows how twisted those kind of minds are. Yes, teaching your children to study is very nice. But you also need to teach them to take care of them and to take a break, otherwise... well, otherwise something really bad can happen
OMG that is seriously sad!
Elena JK I saw a short film made based on a real story, and basically the mom (just like this one) told the girl to study well, and get into a good university, then she’ll have her freedom and can do whatever she wants to do. When she finally did, she asked her mom if she could do what she wants and upon her mom’s approval, she took her own life.
That was really really sad, because not living was what she wanted to do. To force your child to the point they don’t feel the happiness of living anymore is seriously a crime.
actually this is what im afraid of! if her mother doesn’t stop. it might be even worse for her. she’s so young to be depressed. i wish she had a very good time & make more new memories with her friends.
z0mbjes would you tell me the title of the film?
Diannovi Nugraha unfortunately I watched it a while ago and I don’t remember what the name was 😭 I actually was searching for it after I made this comment too but I couldn’t find it cause I saw it shared randomly on my Facebook that time...
Bro- my heart dropped when she said she didnt know so many would acknowledge her broo--- thats so sad
bless dindin for making haeun less worried and distracting her a bit from that atmosphere and bad situation
I was crying so much during this whole episode. I'm afraid of her future, she is unhappy now, she'll be even sadder in the future, what if she harm herself? They're too harsh to her. :(
Exactly
these types of children grow up to be having trouble with themselves, their parents make them like that maybe trust issues or socially awkward , anxious , depressed or anything
I was also crying so much
It breaks my heart so much to hear stories like these. I can't believe that there are still parents who are so obsessed with making their children live their 'idea' of a 'good' life (when reality is, the parents want it more than the child), when they should be listening to & helping their children figure out their OWN dreams. I come from a household where this has occurred to my little siblings and I, and it causes such a huge barrier between the child and parent- we aren't close to our parents, and most of the time it feels like they are never happy with us- or even love us. There have been so many tearful times where I felt that I lacked so much acknowledgement & love from my parents because of the harsh things they have said. There has always been a saying in my household 'No one truly gets yelled at for trying their best- except for us' & It hurts to see that so many others can relate to this statement. They always point out and focus on the little negatives that you never see the positive side of your achievements. Till this day it still happens, BUT I have taught myself to ignore it. My siblings and I look out for each other now. I grew to give more love to others around you (whether it's your future children, siblings, friends etc) which I found that it's helped me get inner peace. I truly hope for the best for this little cutie, aim for your lifetime happiness as it's is the best success you can achieve.
Debbie P. Same situation. I am not close with my parents/ maybe they gave me life but they surely ruined it.
it really does mess you up... and ypu don't know who you are because all you were was doing what they wanted
My mom used to be like that, and that's the reason why I am not close to her she shoved her dreams on me, back then she's always telling me that I wasn't good enough. But now she can't dictate me anymore though I respect her as a mom but that's all.
ya it makes things really complicated
Its funny coz the parents who generally do this were so fucken unmotivated and lazy to do it themselves they think it's okay to unload that workload tenfold onto their children before they even hit double digits. Its so fucken selfish I cant believe it. And on top of that you have to recognize that this is mostly out of ego. Being recognized by strangers who dgaf about you lets be honest "admire" you for your high paying job etc. Its all for clout and life should be about happiness.
broooo. If this mom knew me. She wouldnt be like " doesnt everyone study like this " BROOO I DONT EVEN TOUCH MY BOOKS??? i dont even study that hard wtf-
ME TOO BYE
Me too bro
She would still say It and just pretend she never heard about you
@@Sarawarawara- omg- she totally would-
@Alia RIGHT? I didn't even study for exam and I legit just copy people homework and sometimes if I want to, I would do mine at 3 am. Like tf-
Learning different subjects won’t help her, if she hates them all and doesn’t master them. She should choose one and make her know that one, just like athletes and most Artists only focus on one instruments or sports. Expertise in one area nowadays is more valuable than multiple knowledge in different subjects without having the depths. I don’t know if Child protection services exist in Korea but this is definitely child abuse. Working until 10 and no proper meals. But then she only got 145 votes so this is pretty normal for Koreans
I agree here
Where I live, everyone who studies music at Uni has to know how to play piano.
OH GOD THANK YOU! A sensible comment! I only see comments like “oh i relate” or “I hate that mother!!!1111!!!!!!” and it’s annoying. The mother is wrong in alot of ways.
I agree. I had to learn to play the piano for over 6 years and i hated it so much that i forgot most stuff
Dindin is so cute with her especially when she gave her a heart
time stamp please? i wanna find it but don't want to go through the whole video again (:
that one exo-l 28:32
She's basically making her kid fulfill her dreams.... I feel so sorry for the kid :((
I hope that one day, she realizes that her kids life isn't her's to control like this. I understand the after classes but, its too much. She's still young, she should play outside with her friends or else one day she will lose her social life completely.
Im trash for EXO&BTS yup, that’s called Narcissistic Parenting.
I know it’s been 2 years since this video was posted, but I can relate to this little girl a lot.
I play 5 instruments, I speak 4 languages, and I make sure that I am top of the class in every subject. I’m class president and in the Student Council. It’s heart breaking to see someone so young going through this and saying that life is too hard.
You could say that I have lived everything that she is going through, and right now I can’t really say that I’m happy. I hope that the mom has understood what her daughter is going through, and that she has lessened her extra lessons.
Love from the U.S! 😊
28:31 has to be the cutest thing fricking ever x3333
An Awkward Sweet Potato IKR I WANT TO SEE MOREEEEEEE
When she cried and said " I came here because life is too hard " i teared up omg❤😭
This is just too sad. Kids who were raised like this are more likely to fall into depression when they grow older (p.s. im not sure if there is a study about this but this opinion is just based from experience). I hope she will never lose that pretty smile on her face. I hope she will be with positive people reminding her that it is okay to make mistake sometimes. One can always use failure as a stepping stone to success. Fighting!
When she said “I didn’t know so many people would acknowledge me.” I broke down. How could someone be so cruel to their own daughter 😭
It's quite amazing to see that despite such a grueling schedule and apathetic parents that Haeun is quite a positive and cheery little girl. If her mother is not careful, it could all backfire when she turns into a teen. You can still be a good student and achieve plenty of things without having to study all hours of the day.
Except for having to take piano lessons twice a week for 2 hours for 3 years, my parents never pressured my older brother and I about our grades and studying. Sure my dad always checked on our homework after he got home, but aside from encouraging us to keep doing our best at school, we were pretty free to make up our study hours so long as everything we needed to do got done.
I got to join sports teams and school clubs. And despite my "free" schedule, I graduated high school at 15, and university at 19. I also had an SAT score of 1420. I think I did so well because I enjoyed my childhood and I enjoyed school. I didn't see studying as a chore and did it willingly. And blessedly, my parents were (and still are) very loving and supportive. It was just fine to get a B+ or miss some questions.
I was like that and I was anorexic because I wanted to be perfect for my parents. at 16 I broke and ran away for 2 days. It all spiraled out of control , but I am back to normal. I fought it out with myself. My mom isn't gonna change so I changed my attitude.
Those who have suffered the most, smile the most to hide their pains.
salome AB me too i have changed my attitude too. But sadly, not many people can overcome like that. That is why i dont show people my emotions a lot
She is so smart.. You can figure it out as she did well since she was younger.. Even lesser study wont affect her much.. During my childhood all i remember i play so much every day, i cant even remember much about school but still i could have a good grades.. Eventhough i didnt study much.. I felt sorry for her, despite that she still so cheerful.. She is so strong
my parents never force me to study, so I didnt really study lol and I began to regret it on last year of highschool.
Then children who are treated like this will be depressed. As a teacher, all study is not good, it’s not healthy for students. They should’ve fun or play once in a while. Even in my class I allow them to have fun before the class starts.
STARR BELLE thank you for being this kind of teacher. learning is more effective in a happy environment.
I wish there were more teachers like you, I would’ve loved to have been taught by you.
Relationship between Haeun and the green guy next to her is so cute!!!! Fighting Haeun! You can do it ♡♡ lots of lovee
your king that guy is Dindin ^^
Clara _Fs18 No, that's Henry Lau. They look similar, but it's Henry
that's dindin for sure😂😂😂
no it is dindin
Emilia Porter You are EVERYWHERE, it's DinDin you keep claiming its Henry.
The hosts are right about everything. Poor little baby girl, I could see my childhood in her. In the summer when I turned 5 years old my mom hired a tutor to teach me all the program of the next school year. I started like that until I graduated highschool, I never had summer holidays. During elementary school I would go to extra class before and after class, and from secondary school onwards I always had 2 to 3 extra classes after school. So I left my house at 6.30 and come home at 9.30. Then I would eat quickly and started to learn for my main classes and my extra classes. until 2 o’clock or so. I never had enough sleep. during weekends I would also have extra classes. My mom made sure to make the best out of me and my time, that was no doubt. whenever I visited my grand parents on holidays, she always brought my notebooks so I could study. I would sit there with her and she would slap me on my face because I wanted to go out and play instead of studying. she kept a wooden stick at home to hit me when I studied at night and fell asleep because i was so tired. She did tell me that she love me and praise me in front of her friends, but at home she always compared me with her friends’ children and all of my classmates. I started to get jealous whenever anyone was better than me, and slowly I lost many friends. My mom would always tell me I didn’t need them, all I needed were good grades. I remember always feeling so exhausted everyday, and somewhere around highschool I sometimes got really bad grade. I just couldn‘t anymore, but back then it felt like it was all my fault. I was stupid, I was not good enough, I didn‘t deserve any love if I didn’t excel in class, because good grades were the only things that mattered in life.
I love my mom but I hated her at times. She loves to control my life and only loves me when I do what she says. Everytime when I rebelled she would tell me she is unlucky to have a daughter like me and she would die soon because of me. I thought everything she did and said was right, and I was always wrong when I did something to displease her, above all, bad grades.
After I graduated she sent me abroad to study. I am so sure this girl‘s mother would do the same. And then the poor thing will face the harsh truth just like I used to. Sometimes doing your best would still not make you the best, or get you appraisal, or certificate or anything. When I studied with native students who knew the language better than I did, had all the support from their parents, and were the same smart or even smarter than I was, I didn‘t matter if I gave my 500% while they only 50% - they were still better than me. I started to question my ability and developed a deep complex. Because mom always said I had to be the best, I didn‘t know any other way. If I am not the best, I am rubbish, nothing and don’t deserve to live.
I have been living away from my mom 14 years now. With a lot of support from many people who really care about me and love me for who I am, I can now, thank God, see things from another perspective and realize how toxic my mother and her love was to me. It was hard for me to finally accept myself for who I am, to find out what I really want to do, to find my own voice, which is different from her, and go my own way, without her telling me what is right or wrong. I’m still struggling with my broken self-esteem and trying to understand my complex, and above all, trying to forgive my mom.
This little girl breaks my heart. I so wish she would stay positive and live a good life far away from her mother when she grows up, otherwise she would continue to be emotionally abused by her mother. This woman is so strongly convinced that what she does is right that it scares me, seems like she really needs therapy. What I can say is, the most successful people I know are the ones who are allowed and encouraged to do what they love. Peolple like this little girl might grow up being successful but feeling lost because she will never be allowed to find her true talent or desire. I am sad for her because I know her mother won’t change. The korean society really needs to change these parents minds!