You stay hitting my guy. I've been reading your book and I just can communicate how much it has done for me! The insights are spot on. I started doing this work through another RUclipsr named Heidi Priebe and loved how she broke down this attachment style idea that I desperately needed but I longed for it to come from a male lense. The algorithm must've put you in my feed and based off the first video I watched I bought your book. You are doing God's work and I pray you keep pushing on.
*When you feel comfortable being your true self around her, and you both work together to grow and overcome challenges, that's when you know it's something special.*
Competition is a big one, it can creep up on you in sharing hobbies, activities that then turn into competitive, unhealthy obsessions. Thanks for the video!
I'm very grateful for your channel and perspective. I've recently reconnected with a woman from 30 years ago. We've grown up, yet we still find ourselves crazy for each other. We've had to move through a space of ending the pervious relationship baggage from our time in a teenage relationship. She's avoidant, and I'm more anxious. I am grateful for this video and the affirmation it has provided. I have realized that she is inadvertently supporting me to become the man that I have always wanted to be. Ironically, it is also the man that she wants and needs. I'm the one who has actively been working through my trauma. But the more time we spend together finds her asking questions to better understand herself as well. Is the relationship perfect? Absolutely not. There is definitely some unhealthy behaviors but we are working through them. This channel is really helped me put things in perspective thank you.
'Don't change your partner' does have exceptions: attachment trauma or personality issues(and resultant toxic behaviour) need to be dealt with. That doesn't mean _you're_ the one to fix/change that, but you can and should set boundaries / limits, lest you not loose yourself. In a way, you're still changing your partner, but you merely act as a catalyst & motivator for change, rather than being the therapist who's actually going to fix problems.
Try replacing the concept of "The One" with "The Few", meaning a very select group from which you could choose one and develop a relationship akin to "The One".
It’s precisely this sort of thinking that leads to breach of trust and the kind of scenarios described below…don’t keep your options open and act like a lothario. It will never go down well with a woman who is serious about settling down.
I am a 59 year old Toronto man, I am struggling with love, so I am in no contact and focusing on the things I love that I abandoned (we started with abandoning myself) I shgned up... Im gonna need your help.
I admitted to my girlfriend that I text a few girls behind her back. I have never cheated. I made the biggest mistake ever by doing it. She’s taken me back to give it another go. Only problem is now she is making my life hell. I feel like im losing it. She obviously getting her own back but Is she ever going to stop or shall I just get out now.
My then gf used to workout and take care of herself, affectionate. She has literally never stepped in. The gym after marriage now gained 4 kg in 4 months and is only interested in sex. All she does is cook food and sit on the couch with a throw watching tv. I feel cheated, betrayed and any time I bring this up. She started yelling or just walks away. I told her, let’s go for counseling she immediately gets furious and shut me me down
Women's value is in relaxation, since that is how she can give energy to a man. You should have vett better if that was a true value for her. Also remember depending on a woman's cycle there are various times where it's not healthy for us to exercise. It's part of being a woman, our bodies aren't the same as mens, we need more rest.
@@alchemicalsoul I moved out from there while she was away on vacation. I messaged her later that we need to take. A break. The only outcome from this even is that it’s going to be really hard for me to trust someone
I really would like to see peopletz.,I guess a out thecha ges we go through in life that literallycha gex us to the point where you have nothing incommo after while.i don't think people stay the same e all through life and that in itself a produce I I r r e c o n c I l a b l e differences.
Relationships with women have a shelf life. I finally had to accept this reality and as soon as I sense she is “checking out” I end it. Marriage is a prison sentence for about 95% of couples and completely useless with the penalties in place for the man. “Happily ever after” is Disney. In the real world “the one” is the one for right now.
Even if you find one , you'll still feel void after few months. I am 44 now and single .The only perfect partner to my soul is the Holy Spirit who's with my soul until Jesus Christ bails me out of this body ( prison) and to be in the Kingdom of Father for eternity. With the Help of Holy Spirit I give a damn about the desires of my body ( flesh ) . I am already enjoying heaven. Trust me.
The void that we feel can never be filled by a partner. I am happy for you, you found faith. At the same time, I believe there are ways to work with this void in our lifetime. It's work and it's not pretty, as we have to face our darkest fears and pain but it can lead to a wholeness with yourself. Then, both a relationship and spiritual fulfillment can become a bonus to our lives rather than the sole meaning of it.
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Thanks for watching. Let me know below if this resonated with you and what else you'd like me to talk about.
You stay hitting my guy. I've been reading your book and I just can communicate how much it has done for me! The insights are spot on.
I started doing this work through another RUclipsr named Heidi Priebe and loved how she broke down this attachment style idea that I desperately needed but I longed for it to come from a male lense.
The algorithm must've put you in my feed and based off the first video I watched I bought your book.
You are doing God's work and I pray you keep pushing on.
It ain't easy finding a therapist who specializes in attachment styles but The search must go on.
*When you feel comfortable being your true self around her, and you both work together to grow and overcome challenges, that's when you know it's something special.*
Competition is a big one, it can creep up on you in sharing hobbies, activities that then turn into competitive, unhealthy obsessions. Thanks for the video!
Competition is inversely proportional to degrees of vulnerability and connection
I'm very grateful for your channel and perspective. I've recently reconnected with a woman from 30 years ago. We've grown up, yet we still find ourselves crazy for each other. We've had to move through a space of ending the pervious relationship baggage from our time in a teenage relationship. She's avoidant, and I'm more anxious. I am grateful for this video and the affirmation it has provided. I have realized that she is inadvertently supporting me to become the man that I have always wanted to be. Ironically, it is also the man that she wants and needs. I'm the one who has actively been working through my trauma. But the more time we spend together finds her asking questions to better understand herself as well. Is the relationship perfect? Absolutely not. There is definitely some unhealthy behaviors but we are working through them. This channel is really helped me put things in perspective thank you.
'Don't change your partner' does have exceptions: attachment trauma or personality issues(and resultant toxic behaviour) need to be dealt with.
That doesn't mean _you're_ the one to fix/change that, but you can and should set boundaries / limits, lest you not loose yourself.
In a way, you're still changing your partner, but you merely act as a catalyst & motivator for change, rather than being the therapist who's actually going to fix problems.
not really, if the person isn't right for you in every way then they aren't the one, now are they?
The way you deal with this is by not associating with individuals with these qualities in the first place
Wow, can't believe this video has so few views. Very glad I found this channel. Keep up the Great work.
Try replacing the concept of "The One" with "The Few", meaning a very select group from which you could choose one and develop a relationship akin to "The One".
It’s precisely this sort of thinking that leads to breach of trust and the kind of scenarios described below…don’t keep your options open and act like a lothario. It will never go down well with a woman who is serious about settling down.
I say “one of the ones” but exactly.
Good one. Sweeter than my solitude.
Incredibly impressive video Connor.
Most of your videos trigger and piss me off.............Well done and thank you.
This is such great information. I really don't know how this video doesn't have more views.
I appreciate the work you've put into this man. It's a very comprehensive video, and it directly applied to my ex-wife and me.
That's fucking funny dude
I think the hardest part is embracing the flaws.. some are harder to accept that inevitably lead to the breakup
I am a 59 year old Toronto man, I am struggling with love, so I am in no contact and focusing on the things I love that I abandoned (we started with abandoning myself) I shgned up... Im gonna need your help.
How's it going, sir?
Excellent stuff
This was really good, thank you.
great channel!
SO GOOD.
Where do I apply for a one on one or group session... I live in New Brunswick Canada
I admitted to my girlfriend that I text a few girls behind her back. I have never cheated. I made the biggest mistake ever by doing it. She’s taken me back to give it another go. Only problem is now she is making my life hell. I feel like im losing it. She obviously getting her own back but Is she ever going to stop or shall I just get out now.
@YipeeDo I feel so sorry for him 😞
@YipeeDo You stayed with him for the sole reason of punishing him? How long did that last?
@@TLB144 how did it go?
I had to get out man. Feeling a lot better now. Thank for asking
@@TLB144 Ok glad you're doing better
Thank you.
thx
My then gf used to workout and take care of herself, affectionate. She has literally never stepped in. The gym after marriage now gained 4 kg in 4 months and is only interested in sex. All she does is cook food and sit on the couch with a throw watching tv. I feel cheated, betrayed and any time I bring this up. She started yelling or just walks away. I told her, let’s go for counseling she immediately gets furious and shut me me down
Women's value is in relaxation, since that is how she can give energy to a man. You should have vett better if that was a true value for her. Also remember depending on a woman's cycle there are various times where it's not healthy for us to exercise. It's part of being a woman, our bodies aren't the same as mens, we need more rest.
Update? Has anything changed since then?
@@MoistOwlettes nothing dude. I think we will be divorcing soon and I am planning to move outZ she has been abusing me a a lot recently.
@@DonJam-m7f She will likely not change. You can use the experience as a great learning lesson.
@@alchemicalsoul I moved out from there while she was away on vacation. I messaged her later that we need to take. A break. The only outcome from this even is that it’s going to be really hard for me to trust someone
Is she the one? Only if you are.
I really would like to see peopletz.,I guess a out thecha ges we go through in life that literallycha gex us to the point where you have nothing incommo after while.i don't think people stay the same e all through life and that in itself a produce I I r r e c o n c I l a b l e differences.
Relationships with women have a shelf life. I finally had to accept this reality and as soon as I sense she is “checking out” I end it. Marriage is a prison sentence for about 95% of couples and completely useless with the penalties in place for the man. “Happily ever after” is Disney. In the real world “the one” is the one for right now.
Even if you find one , you'll still feel void after few months. I am 44 now and single .The only perfect partner to my soul is the Holy Spirit who's with my soul until Jesus Christ bails me out of this body ( prison) and to be in the Kingdom of Father for eternity. With the Help of Holy Spirit I give a damn about the desires of my body ( flesh ) . I am already enjoying heaven. Trust me.
The void that we feel can never be filled by a partner. I am happy for you, you found faith. At the same time, I believe there are ways to work with this void in our lifetime. It's work and it's not pretty, as we have to face our darkest fears and pain but it can lead to a wholeness with yourself. Then, both a relationship and spiritual fulfillment can become a bonus to our lives rather than the sole meaning of it.
Just admit you're asexual, man. It's for real.