My husband’s and I first date was supposed to be a quick early morning coffee date. They kicked us out at close, 7 hours later. We spent that date talking about our core values and beliefs. We both told our moms that night that we had found our future spouse, engaged 9 months later, married a few months after than, and a baby 9 months after our wedding. Best decision EVER.
I love that! Our first date was less talking than me being obsessed about being at the beach on vacation 😂 The third date though was real. We both say that was the day we fell in love. May 3. I had to go back to Texas unfortunately but I was already moving there and connected with him looking for a church family and the point of talking and meeting was less to date imo and to hang out. It just didn't happen that way 😂 the first Meet up 100% turned into a date. Then we meet twice in Mississippi, half way. Then I move to Florida in August. We marry the next day, Aug 2. He moves in. I begin my job in Aug 3 😂 We have a ceremony on May 3 the next year, 2024. No baby over here, but the Lords will be done ❤ I guess we eloped, lol, but it's funny I called to tell my mom and she says "I know" 😂
Not quite the same, but it was super quick for us too. We met and married in 4 months. We got through all the BS quickly and it made it easier to figure things out. It was so refreshing to be able to actually talk to him about the things that really matter.
By the grace of God my husband married crazy. I have been in love 23 years. We have survived the death of a three month old and have 3 beautiful healthy daughters. The gospel brings peace.
We were 18 and 19 when we got married. Just celebrated our 50th anniversary. More in love than ever. I don't want to preach but all the credit goes to the Lord.
Amen, same here! Married at 21, year 26. Year 7 was a pivotal year of prayer that ended up healing a lot that was wrong, all glory to God for His work in both of us, but especially in ending significant anger tendencies in my husband.
Yes, we also are working on our second fiftieth. I have heard people say: "It didn't work out. " So why did you not work it out ? The second fifty is the best. Yes, we worked through a lot of stuff, but life is like that. Besides, our four kids are in their forties and are a great help now that we are not up to a lot of things. Took a while to start listening to them, but then, they are now in their prime. And we are not. But, now nothing interferes with our afternoon nap. : ). ( Or after breakfast. or after supper. or . . . )
Met in High school 37 years ago. We married 35 years ago. Although she was a Christian and I was not, I was very moralistic, so I had a strong sense of right and wrong. She has always been my best friend, so I poured into knowing her and learning how to be safe and trustworthy. At 37, I became a Christian and although our lives in the world got significantly worse and it seemed like all of a sudden, we dealt with nothing but adversity, we still continued to pursue each other and the Lord. It's been an unimaginable blessing.
That’s just similar world view. I know couples who are agnostics, pagan, satanists, Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Islamic; and they’ve all been married for years. Respect for each other, similar world views, and thinking clearly is what makes a successful relationship and marriage last.
@VoodooViking I agree. I'm pagan and my husband is an atheist but we have very similar world views and we've been together since we were teenagers. I'm 29 and we've been together for 15 years, have a house and 2 kids and have a great life. He was in the army and we had to do long-distance stuff too. We made it work and we're doing great.
42 years Married. Both military. All those other problems. But you left one out. The death of a child. Rule #1 never go out without each other. Rule #2 Never bring someone else into your fights. Rule #3 Be willing to compromise. Rule# 4 No TV or fights in the bedroom. Rule #5 Make it up as you travel together in this life.
As a 26 year old young man who is 5’7, “the one” doesn’t exist for men under 5’9. I think we are sadly meant to be genetic dead ends. We get mogged (overshadowed and can’t compete) by taller men and we are invisible to women everywhere online and offline. Women will approach and talk to tall chads. Prove me wrong? I hate being right. I’m not out of shape, I groom myself, and everyone I know in person tells me that my height isnt my problem but my negative self talk and lack of expression and “low confidence” and me going out of the house is. But whenever I do go out it looks like women don’t even think I exist. A short man can be confident but will always be rejected by women for a taller man. I hate being right about everything to believe. I really want to be wrong but nothing has been making me feel hopeful. I have prayed for years and I am starting to think that God made short men to die alone.
@@MB_Biggie_Cheesemaybe the women aren’t approaching you because you’re giving off the low confidence/negative/self pitying energy? my husband is 5’7 and we’re 22, doing just fine. i think you should listen to those around you, that have your best interest at heart. God made you that height for a reason, you just have to work with it. if you’re constantly thinking that your height is getting in the way you’re essentially shooting yourself in the foot because before you approach a woman, you’ve already told yourself it’s not going to work out. wish you the best.
@@MB_Biggie_Cheese i married a not super tall man because there were more important things i found that i liked about him, namely his character- his height is just fine for me. keep this attitude and you’ll be single forever. maybe God made you this height to develop your character and to be grateful for what you have. i can tell you right now by these comments, your height is the least of your worries. take care.
My spouse and I have the same kind of marriage you have. I was recently told that I’m just lucky. Nope, I had to decide that I was going to do things differently than everyone else. It also took a whole lot of work on my part. I had to think ahead, be patient, and learn how to be the spouse that I expected my significant other to be. While everyone else was “having fun” doing whatever they felt like doing in the moment, I was putting in the hard work. I also knew to look for someone who was doing the same. I have been told by multiple people that I have a fairytale marriage, or that we are the only ones that make them still believe that a healthy marriage is possible. Anyone can have the marriage we have if they are willing to put in the hard work. I get the same comments on our child. People who do not want children say they would have a child if they knew he or she would turn out like ours. Again, lots and lots of hard work and completely worth it! Married over 15 years!
My friend's Dad had a phrase about marriage, and he told us about it when his wife, my friend's mom, passed away: You're Lucky to find your Love at the right time. You both have to use your Skills to keep the Love burning. Your Expectations in Love have to change together.
Luck is definitely involved. I also was careful on how I dated. Never found a girl. Hopefully I will soon, I'm 28 and always used to assume I'd marry young. It's hard to find anyone with the same beliefs though, even most Catholics are just so culturally.
@@DoubleOhSilvermy husband was 33 when we met (I was 21) and married. Don't give up hoping. We have now been married for 20 years and have 8 kids. Keep trying.
In terms of women venting to men, one thing I implemented in my relationships that has drastically improved communication is this. If they are upset and start venting, ask whether they want solutions, or companionship. That helps them to also get used to clarifying for me "Hey I need solutions" or "Hey I need to just talk". Super huge boost in my dating life.
I could say "good luck with that" but I did make it work and found a great girl. It wasn't only luck, we get along great mostly because she is wonderful. I'm not a "yes, dear" guy, she actually gets things and we both adapt and sometimes say I'll be OK with your side. We've done it both directions. By the way, she's blind. She would do anything for me, and I would do the same for her. I love my wife
“You want a shoulder and comfort or are you looking to troubleshoot a problem with practical advice from a trusted person?” In short want a shoulder to vent or advice to resolve issue.
As a wife, I would love to talk to my husband but even when I preface with, I just need to blow off steam...I get days of what I need to do. Married 43 years, I just find someone else to talk to.
My husband came at me with that shit 'Happy wife happy life' and i pushed back. I told him if you want me to be happy, then you have to be happy too as that will make me happy. You give good advice. The only thing that i would add is that in discussions and interactions with your partner, remember that you love this person and temper your words and behavior through that. You are not 'at war' with them, they are your partner and they want the best for you.
Very true! I was married 16 years and towards the end of my marriage my wife didn’t understand this simple idea. She follows the values of the world now rather than the values we started our marriage with. A man needs to be careful who gets in your wife’s ear and clear any resentment in the relationship before it goes to disrespect.
@jamesTBurke only look where you want to go. If you're driving your car next to a cliff, you don't look into the valley. You intently look at the road, where it is safe. If you are skiing, you don't stare at trees. You intently look toward safe passage down the mountain. I think you need to readjust your mental eye. You're staring at the unsafe. But you have to do the mental work to decide what is "safe" as well as compatible.
@@UnitedStatesofAmerica1984 To be honest, for much of my life I wouldn’t consider myself marriage material and I would say the same for the women I dated
I got married at 19 and my husband was 21. Been happily married for 23 years. All praise and thanks to the Lord. God protects our marriage every day. 😊🙏
In my Institute class my teacher said "Arguing should be more of a discussion, and it's not about WHO is right, it is about WHAT is right." and honestly I can't imagine a better way to say it. Love these vides and I'll vote for you if you decide to run for president! XD
Values are paramount!!! When my fiancée and I got pregnant- having been together for four years but delaying marriage because I was Army in Europe and he was a Corpsman on the west coast- I was scared. I told him that outright, and he saw, he knew where I came from. He said don’t worry we’ll figure it out. I thought long and hard, and concluded that since we both loved each other, loved our careers, interested and entertained each other, and both came from tough backgrounds, I would trust him. At 23 I didn’t realize how self-serving peoples words and actions could be. The values I developed from my tough childhood were very different than what he developed. I ended up a single mom. Now my son is in his 20s and developing himself into a solid man. I just sent him this video, saying I wish I’d heard these words when I was his age! You’re awesome Nick!
I am now 60 and never ever found that one, not out of choice. I have all ways wanted to get married and have a family. Was always told through out my life that I would meet that special person. It never happened. I do beleive some of us do not have that match out there and that's fine with me now. So I focus on other things that fill that void. Appreciating the things I do have and not on what I don't have.
I agree with Nancy. There could be a widow out there somewhere, with a very nice family that is looking for someone to be their new Grandpa - maybe even the Grandpa they never had (depending on how early the previous Grandpa passed). You are, of course, absolutely correct to appreciate what you do have, but please don't give up hope. I will say a prayer tonight for you to find "that special someone," family included.
Together 20 years now, married half of that time. We both came from broken homes, both the mothers stepped out of the marriage, leading to divorce. Both our dads got robbed blind in the divorce, while _they_ kept their vows. That's what made me very cautious. We've been in a monogamous relationship since we were 18 & 19 though, just not married the first 10 years. I believe: Traditional gender roles is what makes a huge difference. They are "traditional" because they worked. No one is trying to improve the shape of the wheel, why would sociciety try to improve on the shape of the family? It's worked for thousands of years. *That* is why we call it *Traditional* .
I looked for people in my culture. I was born and raised an American, but I kept true to my traditional Chinese roots. Found my to-be-wife at a traditional Chinese restaurant working there as a waitress and courted her the old school way. We are now married and have two kids.
It's bizarre how there really is nothing different between us and other Americans we grew up with on the inside growing up together, with the same goals, values, tendencies, but a barrier simply sets itself by one or both people knowing we come from different places. It's a shame it has to be like that, but it is what it is. Color blindness is a BS myth. Some people look past it, but that's probably because they've already been through a lot that's bonded them tight.
I got married to my French husband 30 years ago after a 9-year relationship. Now the kids are grown, we're off to China to finish off our teaching careers. Life is a wonderful adventure for the two of us.
Hey Nick, appreciate your input. I just proposed to my girlfriend of almost 1.5 years yesterday at 21 years old! We built our relationship on the foundation of our traditional Catholic faith. By the end of the first date, we knew we shared the same values. We spoke often of our desired futures and goals and discovered we both wanted the same things. We bonded well over many shared interests such as religious discussions, two-stepping, and spending time in group settings with our friends. After checking all those boxes, I knew she was the one, especially with how beautiful she is. Gentlemen, heed the advice of Nick! Be a man, ask a girl out, and lead her as Christ leads His church.
My rule....if you see red flags before the wedding don't go through with it. 33 years of marriage all fighting. Didn't realize he was on the autistic spectrum until after I had enough & finally left. Financial values were the final straw. I left & left him everything. He lost it all & I am finally in my happy place on my little farm in the country 2100 miles away. Best move I ever made.
Been married 52 years. One important thing is finding a person that will put up with you and your quarks. Marriage for us gets better every year. We depend on each other for the things each of us are strong at.
Got married at 19 as well! Values were huge. We were raised the same had the same views on the huge issues. It made us a team to grow together as we had our 5 children. So thankful.
You are the exception to the rule. Its impossible for me. As a 26 year old young man who is 5’7, “the one” doesn’t exist for men under 5’9. I think we are sadly meant to be genetic dead ends. We get mogged (overshadowed and can’t compete) by taller men and we are invisible to women everywhere online and offline. Women will approach and talk to tall chads. Prove me wrong? I hate being right. I’m not out of shape, I groom myself, and everyone I know in person tells me that my height isnt my problem but my negative self talk and lack of expression and “low confidence” and me going out of the house is. But whenever I do go out it looks like women don’t even think I exist. A short man can be confident but will always be rejected by women for a taller man. I hate being right about everything to believe. I really want to be wrong but nothing has been making me feel hopeful. I have prayed for years and still haven’t found the right one and I am starting to think that God made short men to die alone and it hurts.
@@MB_Biggie_CheeseYou cant go out there with that negativity bias brother its possible you just gotta keep trying and be confident. I believe in you G stop thinking about height and just be you find tha game within. 5’7 is chillin too ur fine
Wish I heard this before I got married. We have a wonderful marriage but had to work through a lot of problems because we did not understand these basic principles. If I may add a short time together 5-10 minutes reading a scripture and praying together for the family.
I will say. Character definitely matters. You brought up moving as a stressor on marriage. My parents have been married 23 years now, and my family has moved a total of 17 times. This was in addition to all the normal arguments, fights, and stress that go with marriage. Lesser people would have moved on, but they stuck together and are still married.
This should be required viewing in government schools // Relationships & Marriage is one of the most important decisions of your life // You can tolerate a bad work environment for 8 hours, but a bad marriage can be destructive to your mental health //
Both born in ‘94 we met in 8th grade. Off and on all throughout high school and reconnected at 23yrs old. Our courtship was not typical and people laughed at us when they learned we won’t live together first, and we talked about goals, values, and child raising styles in the “dating stage”… we had serious questions to ask each other that we knew others our age aren’t discussing. We married in 2020 and now expecting baby#3❤
Husband was 20, and I was 27 when we got married. We both waited for our wedding night. I come from a stable family, his is very very broken. We’re four years in, about to have our first baby after years of struggling financially and with the inability to have kids. It’s not luck. It’s work and unconditional love. And Jesus. Always Jesus.
We got married when we were both 21. We'll hit 30 years married in a couple years. We've talked every day since December 31, 1996. Even when i was travelling for work before cell phones were popular and available. I remember standing on the corner in San Francisco, putting enough quarters into the pay phone to talk for 4 minutes. We have 3 kids between 17 and 24. The two oldest are living on their own and earning their own money. The oldest has been married for 3 years. (No grandkids yet though!)
Sound advice throughout! Catholic pre-marriage prep covers a lot of this, so if you go through it honestly, you get this. Some couples have already talked it all out before they get there, and other couples have not. It is very important to have these shared values, goals, interests, and communication! Being able to forgive is another very important factor - that's from parents who have been married 65 years.
Thank Nick. I've settled for less my whole marriage of 34 yrs. Caused me a lot of depression, anxiety and mental breakdown. Everything you spoke about are all the things I needed wanted and valued. You validated that for me and I am grateful for coming across this podcast. I'm not crazy after all. Thank you!
I got married at 19, we've been together almost 10 years now with 4 kids. We're still in love. I heartily agree with everything in this video and love and marriage are still possible in the modern age despite all the naysayers
Actual good marital advice. So rare to hear these days. This is why I tell younger people if they want good marital advice listen to people who have been married 25+ years not the swinger guy with the money and fancy car.
I made mistakes with all the wrong people. After 50, i decided to work on being the person that i wanted to live with. Moved back to the only city i ever wanted to go back to. The guy i dated 30+ years earlier was still there. We had stayed friends after we stopped dating, and we'd both learned quite a bit about ourselves in the interim. Lots of conversations later, i was surprised to discover how much we agreed on. Long story short, that was 12.5 years ago and we're still happily together. Wish you'd been around 40 years ago. Oh yeah, you were, but i don't think you could have articulated all this as a toddler. Just wanted to share an example that even if you got it wrong over and over, there can still be hope to get it right.
I, as a woman, am so so glad you talked about the hole, "Just say you're sorry cause happy wife happy life." I always hated that! I feel like a petulant child when people tell my husband that, and I also feel like some terrible dictator who will never let my husband have fun or have any pride.
I My husband and I were 19 also, he asked me to marry him after 2 days! My theory is you find someone who’s crazy matches yours. My husband parents were in a divorce war…we agreed that there is nothing we couldn’t work through as adults. I was a Christian, my husband was not back then…..he is now. 49 years this years of marriage this year. give 101% to your partner. My father on my wedding day, shared his wisdom to always have a fight with no clothes on….thanks dad! Miss my dad so much.
I knew my wife for two days when I proposed. Two weeks later we were married. The two days we’re about establishing whether we had the same values and beliefs. Since we didn’t lie to each other, it worked out well.
@@wildcatblue13 We were not together for those two weeks. She was on vacation, went home to quit her job and get ready. Two weeks later I drove across three states, loaded up her stuff, drove her back, and married her the day after we got back. We were 45 years old ( 11 years ago). We both took a huge leap of faith, but we agreed on a biblical marriage, and that’s what we have.
Married at 30, but cultivated a long distance friendship/relationship (pre internet) for over 9 years prior to that. I've been married to my French soul mate for over 30 years now and have 3 well-adjusted adult children. We are blessed. ❤
I married at 17, he was 27. Love at first sight for me, he took longer.😂 Yes, shared values is paramount. We had 41 years together before he passed 5 years ago.
Wow. 17 & 27 years old? You're giving me hope😅. I just turned 28 today, and I've low-key been worried about my chances of meeting a genuine partner in her early to mid 20s that hasn't bought into hook-up culture (I personally never really dated, and I wasn't into the hook-up thing either) as I'm scared I'm getting too old. Any general thoughts or advice? PS: I'm a Nigerian immigrant who moved to Canada (legally) last summer. Also, dating just never "came naturally" to me in my teenage to early 20s because I knew I hadn't really developed a good vision of what those things were supposed to look like and be aimed towards. (Much like Nick here, I didn't have good examples in my close family, it was just a bunch of good examples of things I DIDN'T want for my life, so I always kinda knew I'd have to "build the whole thing from scratch".). This has been a mouthful. Thanks for reading this far😅
I've been married to my wife for five years now. Started long distance for the first three years of the marriage, but she's here now. I haven't put much thought into whether or not I "married crazy." It just is what it is and we're both happy.
My husband and I are going strong 27+ years with 2 brilliant grown children. Did we have to go back to the negotiation table? Yes. Yet we did so with respect for one another and calmly talked it out. We call a situation out immediately, we don’t hold on to anything. Discuss it, come to a compromise and it’s OVER!
Married for almost 8 years, we have two kids, and i cannot imagine my life without my husband!! I love him so much more than the day I married him (and that was a whole awful lot) and I'll love him until death do us part. So thankful to the Lord for him.
28 years Ago I married my high school sweetheart and my best friend. We finished growing up together and learned a lot about each other and a lot about ourselves as we stood together through everything so far. With God's help, we're still going strong and we can confirm that this, all of this is true and accurate. Thank you, Sir, for giving these important life lessons that so many need to hear.
Solid advice. Not easy, not always possible, but worth it. I'm 49 still single and still looking for someone with shared values, looking at the state of most everyone I grew up with it seems apparent that single and celibate is the best choice I had.
19 years in…I love this! We work at it, we expect change, and we just do it…but yes shared values, is HUGE! Our faith even changes we are now too Christian for Christians or at least I am and we are still going! Can’t wait for the next 19 years!!!
When the officiant asks if anyone has an objection - it's really too late as most couples have already dug into their position of getting married regardless of whatever is mentioned. Being smart enough to evaluate the objections that friends/family bring up along the way AND navigating difficult conversations - PRICELESS! It can save so much pain.
Married at 19 and 21, 30 years in. Before we were married we knew what we wanted in kids, work, and education. Told her I will always do and she told me what she expected. Sound advice by Nick here.
My husband and I have been together for 23 years now. On our first date, I managed to ask him his views on religion, politics and his main hobbies. We agreed on the first two which was good enough for me! We do share some hobbies like gardening and cooking, but his love of sports and my love of reading and prepping gives us some time alone so we can keep a little bit of independence but come back together and play video games or cook a meal. Just make sure you agree on the big issues!
As a 19 year old guy this is one that im most certainly taking notes on , and i thinks its no coincidence that my step dad and i where literally having this conversation minutes before this vidoe came out.
Let me save you some time. They are ALL crazy. Any human being who cannot control their emotions, regardless of whether it's due to hormones or lack of willpower, is crazy and unstable, and our current laws prevent you from taking the necessary actions to limit the damage such an individual can do if they pop off. So don't risk it, just stay single, stay free. See you on the road brother.
@@StarboyXL9 bro this is one of the saddest comments that I've seen yet, do you not want someone that you love so much that you want to spend the rest of your life together? Edit: and what if you want to start a family?
Been married 52yrs. I've been asked many times what the secret is. The answer is when fight or disagree dont leave. You are gaurenteed to be mad many times. Either get over it, compromise, or surrender and forgive this time. Whats over is over don't drag up a 20 yr. old arguement. We have no bank accounts that don't have both our names on them. Treat your spouse like you want to be treated.
My late spouse and I always had a list of all the things we loved about each other (non-physical things. Like, I had things like 'I love that he knows how to make me laugh' and 'He has a huge heart for people - willing to give the shirt off his back to someone who doesn't have one'). I'd also add to the list anytime he would go out of his way to do something special for me. Any time we had arguments I'd pull that list out and read over it to remind myself who I knew he was. It worked amazingly well and helped re-frame and ground me. I wish I could have had 52 years with him, I'd like to say we would easily be on our way there. Now I just have my list along side of the letters he wrote for me. I wish you many more happy years.
I needed this video a year ago when I was dating my ex. It would have saved me a lot of pain, but the school of hard knocks teaches some good lessons. Thank you for making this!
@@JohnAnderson-ev3lp basically what he talked about… finding someone who knows how to explain things, not leave me wondering what he means, is clear, and just generally avoids confusion and miscommunication. I get that every two people talking for long enough are going to have misunderstandings of each other sometimes, so I’m not asking for perfect, I’m just asking that it’s not a frequent and unavoidable occurrence cause I’ve dealt with that too many times to spend the rest of my life with it😅
As a single guy who has just turned 50, I thank you Nick so much for your advice and experience in your marriage. Will study this, study myself and study the future woman that I be attracted to and who is attracted to me to help me now a single to get ready for a great and grounded marriage!!
You’ve provided so much value here to young men and women who are willing to listen. This is solid, straight forward and honest. Thank you! Great video.
This has to be one of your best videos, Nick. While I have disagreed with some of your opinions regarding relations between men and women, this time you ate absolutely spot on, especially regarding the first point, _shared values._ Nothing is more important, despite what some dating apps may say regarding compatibility. And, you did not omit the physical aspects, and maintaining oneself out of respect for one's spouse. Keep up the excellent work.
"Happy wife, happy life" is the male equivalent of the abused woman crying out as the cops drag the wife-beater away..."But I love him!" (and the fact that she keeps coming back to him or finding the exact same type of abusive guy over and over again and justifying that decision).
Values are crucial This is such a great conversation and so many would benefit from it. Ladies, I have worked many decades. It isn’t fulfilling it is necessary. I know ladies whose husbands make the living and these gals know how fortunate they are. They can be intimately involved with their kids and many homeschool. I’m so sick of my “career” and I missed so many years with my kids and grands just working all the time.
Nick, much like you, I spent my younger years in the military, and college. I wish I had this wisdom at 24 years old. I married the wrong person for the wrong reasons, and kids are now adults from a broken home. I never remarried. I tried too many times, and never found the values match in life. I never came from a broken home. I am probably a couple years older than you and I really wish I had this wisdom in the military when I got married. You know the divorce rate in the military, around 80%, and Uncle Sam needs to put you on base for pre-marriage counseling. Great Job!!!!
I'm so glad you shared this. My daughter has been feeling very worried that you are the outlier, and the chances of finding a good man and having a strong, happy marriage is next to impossible. (Her paternal unit and my dad have not proven to both be highly toxic.) Thanks for breaking this down for her. ❤
Nick, can you talk about Peter Santenellos' blog on Inside Massachusetts nobody talks about. He goes around all of America and shows the reality of what is going on with immigration. He needs more people seeing this. Please talk about it.
I met "The One", and 7 weeks Later we were married in the LDS faith. We were married for 33 years when Cancer took her. Bumps in the road, sure but we had goals shared and deeply loved each other. You are right on Nick.
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
Abstinence shouldn’t be controversial
My husband’s and I first date was supposed to be a quick early morning coffee date. They kicked us out at close, 7 hours later. We spent that date talking about our core values and beliefs. We both told our moms that night that we had found our future spouse, engaged 9 months later, married a few months after than, and a baby 9 months after our wedding. Best decision EVER.
A long date is always better than many short dates because it enables you to dive deep into important topics
I love that! Our first date was less talking than me being obsessed about being at the beach on vacation 😂
The third date though was real. We both say that was the day we fell in love. May 3. I had to go back to Texas unfortunately but I was already moving there and connected with him looking for a church family and the point of talking and meeting was less to date imo and to hang out. It just didn't happen that way 😂 the first Meet up 100% turned into a date.
Then we meet twice in Mississippi, half way. Then I move to Florida in August. We marry the next day, Aug 2. He moves in. I begin my job in Aug 3 😂 We have a ceremony on May 3 the next year, 2024.
No baby over here, but the Lords will be done ❤
I guess we eloped, lol, but it's funny I called to tell my mom and she says "I know" 😂
God bless you both, that is amazing. I hope I meet someone like that where it all just clicks.
Something similar with me, 2 kids, 2 houses, yearly vacations, $200k invested and 10
Years of marriage
Not quite the same, but it was super quick for us too. We met and married in 4 months. We got through all the BS quickly and it made it easier to figure things out. It was so refreshing to be able to actually talk to him about the things that really matter.
By the grace of God my husband married crazy. I have been in love 23 years. We have survived the death of a three month old and have 3 beautiful healthy daughters. The gospel brings peace.
We were 18 and 19 when we got married. Just celebrated our 50th anniversary. More in love than ever. I don't want to preach but all the credit goes to the Lord.
Amen!
YES, Sir!!!! 🙏
Amen, same here! Married at 21, year 26. Year 7 was a pivotal year of prayer that ended up healing a lot that was wrong, all glory to God for His work in both of us, but especially in ending significant anger tendencies in my husband.
Yes, we also are working on our second fiftieth. I have heard people say: "It didn't work out. " So why did you not work it out ? The second fifty is the best. Yes, we worked through a lot of stuff, but life is like that. Besides, our four kids are in their forties and are a great help now that we are not up to a lot of things. Took a while to start listening to them, but then, they are now in their prime. And we are not. But, now nothing interferes with our afternoon nap. : ). ( Or after breakfast. or after supper. or . . . )
Shared values.
Met in High school 37 years ago. We married 35 years ago. Although she was a Christian and I was not, I was very moralistic, so I had a strong sense of right and wrong. She has always been my best friend, so I poured into knowing her and learning how to be safe and trustworthy. At 37, I became a Christian and although our lives in the world got significantly worse and it seemed like all of a sudden, we dealt with nothing but adversity, we still continued to pursue each other and the Lord. It's been an unimaginable blessing.
Same thing with me and my husband. We don't share the faith, but our VALUES align. And with his consent, I pray for his faith ;-)
In Jesus name❤ @i.b.640
Married at 20, for 15 years now. God is crucial for a successful marriage.
That’s just similar world view. I know couples who are agnostics, pagan, satanists, Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Islamic; and they’ve all been married for years. Respect for each other, similar world views, and thinking clearly is what makes a successful relationship and marriage last.
@@VoodooVikingExactly.
Couldn’t agree more.
It just proves Jesus’s words, “ a house divided against itself cannot stand”
@VoodooViking I agree. I'm pagan and my husband is an atheist but we have very similar world views and we've been together since we were teenagers. I'm 29 and we've been together for 15 years, have a house and 2 kids and have a great life. He was in the army and we had to do long-distance stuff too. We made it work and we're doing great.
All this is TRUTH!
Married at 20.
41 years strong.
Met my wife at 15 years old I’m 60 years old and married to the love of my life. Everything he says is accurate. He nailed it.
42 years Married. Both military. All those other problems. But you left one out. The death of a child. Rule #1 never go out without each other. Rule #2 Never bring someone else into your fights. Rule #3 Be willing to compromise. Rule# 4 No TV or fights in the bedroom. Rule #5 Make it up as you travel together in this life.
As a 26 year old young man who is 5’7, “the one” doesn’t exist for men under 5’9. I think we are sadly meant to be genetic dead ends. We get mogged (overshadowed and can’t compete) by taller men and we are invisible to women everywhere online and offline. Women will approach and talk to tall chads. Prove me wrong? I hate being right. I’m not out of shape, I groom myself, and everyone I know in person tells me that my height isnt my problem but my negative self talk and lack of expression and “low confidence” and me going out of the house is. But whenever I do go out it looks like women don’t even think I exist. A short man can be confident but will always be rejected by women for a taller man. I hate being right about everything to believe. I really want to be wrong but nothing has been making me feel hopeful. I have prayed for years and I am starting to think that God made short men to die alone.
@@MB_Biggie_Cheesemaybe the women aren’t approaching you because you’re giving off the low confidence/negative/self pitying energy? my husband is 5’7 and we’re 22, doing just fine. i think you should listen to those around you, that have your best interest at heart. God made you that height for a reason, you just have to work with it. if you’re constantly thinking that your height is getting in the way you’re essentially shooting yourself in the foot because before you approach a woman, you’ve already told yourself it’s not going to work out. wish you the best.
@@MB_Biggie_CheeseTo a 5' tall woman you will be a giant.
@@emilyp9869 who would ever want me with my height? What reason did God make me that height? I mean seriously.
@@MB_Biggie_Cheese i married a not super tall man because there were more important things i found that i liked about him, namely his character- his height is just fine for me. keep this attitude and you’ll be single forever. maybe God made you this height to develop your character and to be grateful for what you have. i can tell you right now by these comments, your height is the least of your worries. take care.
My spouse and I have the same kind of marriage you have. I was recently told that I’m just lucky. Nope, I had to decide that I was going to do things differently than everyone else. It also took a whole lot of work on my part. I had to think ahead, be patient, and learn how to be the spouse that I expected my significant other to be. While everyone else was “having fun” doing whatever they felt like doing in the moment, I was putting in the hard work. I also knew to look for someone who was doing the same. I have been told by multiple people that I have a fairytale marriage, or that we are the only ones that make them still believe that a healthy marriage is possible. Anyone can have the marriage we have if they are willing to put in the hard work. I get the same comments on our child. People who do not want children say they would have a child if they knew he or she would turn out like ours. Again, lots and lots of hard work and completely worth it!
Married over 15 years!
"significant other" are you gay?
Well done! 👏 Keep it up, married 27+ years and loving life. My husband is perfect for me and he says I’m perfect for him.
My friend's Dad had a phrase about marriage, and he told us about it when his wife, my friend's mom, passed away:
You're Lucky to find your Love at the right time.
You both have to use your Skills to keep the Love burning.
Your Expectations in Love have to change together.
Luck is definitely involved. I also was careful on how I dated. Never found a girl. Hopefully I will soon, I'm 28 and always used to assume I'd marry young. It's hard to find anyone with the same beliefs though, even most Catholics are just so culturally.
@@DoubleOhSilvermy husband was 33 when we met (I was 21) and married. Don't give up hoping. We have now been married for 20 years and have 8 kids. Keep trying.
In terms of women venting to men, one thing I implemented in my relationships that has drastically improved communication is this. If they are upset and start venting, ask whether they want solutions, or companionship. That helps them to also get used to clarifying for me "Hey I need solutions" or "Hey I need to just talk". Super huge boost in my dating life.
I could say "good luck with that" but I did make it work and found a great girl. It wasn't only luck, we get along great mostly because she is wonderful. I'm not a "yes, dear" guy, she actually gets things and we both adapt and sometimes say I'll be OK with your side. We've done it both directions.
By the way, she's blind.
She would do anything for me, and I would do the same for her. I love my wife
“You want a shoulder and comfort or are you looking to troubleshoot a problem with practical advice from a trusted person?” In short want a shoulder to vent or advice to resolve issue.
I am female, and I ask that when I am with girl-friends. Mostly the answer is: First the one and then the other.
I started doing the same some time ago, since I think I'm fairly bad at reading situations. So far I too think it does wonders.
As a wife, I would love to talk to my husband but even when I preface with, I just need to blow off steam...I get days of what I need to do. Married 43 years, I just find someone else to talk to.
My husband came at me with that shit 'Happy wife happy life' and i pushed back. I told him if you want me to be happy, then you have to be happy too as that will make me happy. You give good advice. The only thing that i would add is that in discussions and interactions with your partner, remember that you love this person and temper your words and behavior through that. You are not 'at war' with them, they are your partner and they want the best for you.
I remember, from somewhere. once reading: "Remember, it's you and them *against* the problem, not the both of you against each other."
It's rare to find a woman like that these days. Most do all they can to ruin a man's life
Very true! I was married 16 years and towards the end of my marriage my wife didn’t understand this simple idea. She follows the values of the world now rather than the values we started our marriage with. A man needs to be careful who gets in your wife’s ear and clear any resentment in the relationship before it goes to disrespect.
@jamesTBurke
only look where you want to go. If you're driving your car next to a cliff, you don't look into the valley. You intently look at the road, where it is safe. If you are skiing, you don't stare at trees. You intently look toward safe passage down the mountain.
I think you need to readjust your mental eye. You're staring at the unsafe. But you have to do the mental work to decide what is "safe" as well as compatible.
My husband & I were married for almost 52 years. The things Mr. Freitas has said, are absolutely true!
I waited until I was 60 to get married, and boy did I hit the jackpot. My wife is every decent man’s dream
WOW thats great ha ha ha
Perfect!
Saved yourself decades of battlefield trauma.
@@UnitedStatesofAmerica1984 To be honest, for much of my life I wouldn’t consider myself marriage material and I would say the same for the women I dated
Just in time for her to be your nurse.
I got married at 19 and my husband was 21. Been happily married for 23 years. All praise and thanks to the Lord. God protects our marriage every day. 😊🙏
Excellent! Married 1 day shy of our 42nd year (he lost his battle with cancer 😢) We lived this!! This is great info for our children! ❤
I’m so sorry for your loss
🙏🙏😢😢 so sad and sorry.
You are still married to him ! 😊 Hes just gone ahead !
In my Institute class my teacher said "Arguing should be more of a discussion, and it's not about WHO is right, it is about WHAT is right." and honestly I can't imagine a better way to say it. Love these vides and I'll vote for you if you decide to run for president! XD
In a world full of terrible relationship advice, this was very refreshing. Thank you!
Values are paramount!!!
When my fiancée and I got pregnant- having been together for four years but delaying marriage because I was Army in Europe and he was a Corpsman on the west coast- I was scared. I told him that outright, and he saw, he knew where I came from.
He said don’t worry we’ll figure it out.
I thought long and hard, and concluded that since we both loved each other, loved our careers, interested and entertained each other, and both came from tough backgrounds, I would trust him. At 23 I didn’t realize how self-serving peoples words and actions could be.
The values I developed from my tough childhood were very different than what he developed. I ended up a single mom.
Now my son is in his 20s and developing himself into a solid man.
I just sent him this video, saying I wish I’d heard these words when I was his age!
You’re awesome Nick!
We got married at 18 and my husband was a 20 yr career Army. He was gone more than half the year as well. Now 51 years later still together.
I am now 60 and never ever found that one, not out of choice. I have all ways wanted to get married and have a family. Was always told through out my life that I would meet that special person. It never happened. I do beleive some of us do not have that match out there and that's fine with me now. So I focus on other things that fill that void. Appreciating the things I do have and not on what I don't have.
Maybe God saved the best for last.
I agree with Nancy. There could be a widow out there somewhere, with a very nice family that is looking for someone to be their new Grandpa - maybe even the Grandpa they never had (depending on how early the previous Grandpa passed). You are, of course, absolutely correct to appreciate what you do have, but please don't give up hope. I will say a prayer tonight for you to find "that special someone," family included.
Never too late. Be open minded and look out. Ask God and he'll lead you.
Together 20 years now, married half of that time. We both came from broken homes, both the mothers stepped out of the marriage, leading to divorce. Both our dads got robbed blind in the divorce, while _they_ kept their vows. That's what made me very cautious. We've been in a monogamous relationship since we were 18 & 19 though, just not married the first 10 years.
I believe: Traditional gender roles is what makes a huge difference. They are "traditional" because they worked. No one is trying to improve the shape of the wheel, why would sociciety try to improve on the shape of the family? It's worked for thousands of years. *That* is why we call it *Traditional* .
Married 32 years, 4 daughters, one grandson, this video is something all kids should watch!
30 minutes of pure, unedited common sense. Amazing that we require this video. Thanks man
I looked for people in my culture. I was born and raised an American, but I kept true to my traditional Chinese roots. Found my to-be-wife at a traditional Chinese restaurant working there as a waitress and courted her the old school way. We are now married and have two kids.
Ahhh, that is so sweet. Nothing wrong with being an American and marrying people of your ethnicity. Congratulations to you both.
That's great! How old were each of you when you met?
Old school way... soooo... mail ordered??
It's bizarre how there really is nothing different between us and other Americans we grew up with on the inside growing up together, with the same goals, values, tendencies, but a barrier simply sets itself by one or both people knowing we come from different places. It's a shame it has to be like that, but it is what it is. Color blindness is a BS myth. Some people look past it, but that's probably because they've already been through a lot that's bonded them tight.
I got married to my French husband 30 years ago after a 9-year relationship. Now the kids are grown, we're off to China to finish off our teaching careers.
Life is a wonderful adventure for the two of us.
In my experience it's not so much not marrying crazy as it is finding a crazy that you can handle. Ten years in and still going strong.
Hey Nick, appreciate your input. I just proposed to my girlfriend of almost 1.5 years yesterday at 21 years old! We built our relationship on the foundation of our traditional Catholic faith. By the end of the first date, we knew we shared the same values. We spoke often of our desired futures and goals and discovered we both wanted the same things. We bonded well over many shared interests such as religious discussions, two-stepping, and spending time in group settings with our friends. After checking all those boxes, I knew she was the one, especially with how beautiful she is. Gentlemen, heed the advice of Nick! Be a man, ask a girl out, and lead her as Christ leads His church.
Congratulations on your engagement! May God bless your relationship as you progress into the next season of your lives together. 😊
@@amaragrace94 thank you!
My rule....if you see red flags before the wedding don't go through with it. 33 years of marriage all fighting. Didn't realize he was on the autistic spectrum until after I had enough & finally left. Financial values were the final straw. I left & left him everything. He lost it all & I am finally in my happy place on my little farm in the country 2100 miles away. Best move I ever made.
Thank you for sharing, I needed to read this.
can i ask what it was about him being on the autistic spectrum that made you leave?
Little farm? that's my dream❤
You left him because he's autistic?
Those of us that are a little slow ended up paying the price for ignoring the flags
Been married 52 years. One important thing is finding a person that will put up with you and your quarks. Marriage for us gets better every year. We depend on each other for the things each of us are strong at.
Got married at 19 as well! Values were huge. We were raised the same had the same views on the huge issues. It made us a team to grow together as we had our 5 children. So thankful.
You are the exception to the rule. Its impossible for me. As a 26 year old young man who is 5’7, “the one” doesn’t exist for men under 5’9. I think we are sadly meant to be genetic dead ends. We get mogged (overshadowed and can’t compete) by taller men and we are invisible to women everywhere online and offline. Women will approach and talk to tall chads. Prove me wrong? I hate being right. I’m not out of shape, I groom myself, and everyone I know in person tells me that my height isnt my problem but my negative self talk and lack of expression and “low confidence” and me going out of the house is. But whenever I do go out it looks like women don’t even think I exist. A short man can be confident but will always be rejected by women for a taller man. I hate being right about everything to believe. I really want to be wrong but nothing has been making me feel hopeful. I have prayed for years and still haven’t found the right one and I am starting to think that God made short men to die alone and it hurts.
@@MB_Biggie_CheeseYou cant go out there with that negativity bias brother its possible you just gotta keep trying and be confident. I believe in you G stop thinking about height and just be you find tha game within. 5’7 is chillin too ur fine
@@MB_Biggie_Cheese You are looking in the wrong place.
Dude 5' 7" is not even short! Fix your internal image!@lilupsi
@@MB_Biggie_CheeseMeet a shorter woman. I’ve seen several couples like that.
Wish I heard this before I got married. We have a wonderful marriage but had to work through a lot of problems because we did not understand these basic principles.
If I may add a short time together 5-10 minutes reading a scripture and praying together for the family.
I will say. Character definitely matters. You brought up moving as a stressor on marriage. My parents have been married 23 years now, and my family has moved a total of 17 times. This was in addition to all the normal arguments, fights, and stress that go with marriage. Lesser people would have moved on, but they stuck together and are still married.
This should be required viewing in government schools // Relationships & Marriage is one of the most important decisions of your life // You can tolerate a bad work environment for 8 hours, but a bad marriage can be destructive to your mental health //
This was so good So obviously true. Like much of life advice , health advice it will not be followed
The foundations of marriage are supposed to be taught in the home.
Im so grateful for my husband, please pray for our marriage
Both born in ‘94 we met in 8th grade. Off and on all throughout high school and reconnected at 23yrs old. Our courtship was not typical and people laughed at us when they learned we won’t live together first, and we talked about goals, values, and child raising styles in the “dating stage”… we had serious questions to ask each other that we knew others our age aren’t discussing. We married in 2020 and now expecting baby#3❤
“Crazy in bed, and crazy at Costco are two different things.”
- Mark Driscoll
😂I
Actually iylt might be connected. Just a thought.
Both still scratch themselves 🤣
Husband was 20, and I was 27 when we got married. We both waited for our wedding night. I come from a stable family, his is very very broken. We’re four years in, about to have our first baby after years of struggling financially and with the inability to have kids. It’s not luck. It’s work and unconditional love. And Jesus. Always Jesus.
We got married when we were both 21. We'll hit 30 years married in a couple years. We've talked every day since December 31, 1996. Even when i was travelling for work before cell phones were popular and available. I remember standing on the corner in San Francisco, putting enough quarters into the pay phone to talk for 4 minutes. We have 3 kids between 17 and 24. The two oldest are living on their own and earning their own money. The oldest has been married for 3 years. (No grandkids yet though!)
This video should be required watching for all human beings!
Sound advice throughout! Catholic pre-marriage prep covers a lot of this, so if you go through it honestly, you get this. Some couples have already talked it all out before they get there, and other couples have not. It is very important to have these shared values, goals, interests, and communication! Being able to forgive is another very important factor - that's from parents who have been married 65 years.
Thank Nick. I've settled for less my whole marriage of 34 yrs. Caused me a lot of depression, anxiety and mental breakdown. Everything you spoke about are all the things I needed wanted and valued. You validated that for me and I am grateful for coming across this podcast. I'm not crazy after all. Thank you!
This is brilliant. It should be a Must Watch video for anyone considering marriage. We have been married 39 years and still going strong.
We've been married for 34 years, two sons. We approve of this message.
I got married at 19, we've been together almost 10 years now with 4 kids. We're still in love. I heartily agree with everything in this video and love and marriage are still possible in the modern age despite all the naysayers
Nick Freitas for president 2028!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
I wish
@@GroundDwellerStudioS Ik I think he’s already shot that idea down though 😢
@@josiahmorton1597 he has multiple times on Making the Argument. 😭
He said he won't 😢
Gonna be between him, tulsi gabbard, and vivek
Actual good marital advice. So rare to hear these days. This is why I tell younger people if they want good marital advice listen to people who have been married 25+ years not the swinger guy with the money and fancy car.
👏👏👏
My brother got married at 19, and he also went to the Army. He was green barre. They have been married for 42 years, so far. ❤😊
I made mistakes with all the wrong people. After 50, i decided to work on being the person that i wanted to live with.
Moved back to the only city i ever wanted to go back to. The guy i dated 30+ years earlier was still there. We had stayed friends after we stopped dating, and we'd both learned quite a bit about ourselves in the interim. Lots of conversations later, i was surprised to discover how much we agreed on. Long story short, that was 12.5 years ago and we're still happily together. Wish you'd been around 40 years ago. Oh yeah, you were, but i don't think you could have articulated all this as a toddler. Just wanted to share an example that even if you got it wrong over and over, there can still be hope to get it right.
Thank you for that! Encouragement is so important.
I, as a woman, am so so glad you talked about the hole, "Just say you're sorry cause happy wife happy life." I always hated that! I feel like a petulant child when people tell my husband that, and I also feel like some terrible dictator who will never let my husband have fun or have any pride.
I
My husband and I were 19 also, he asked me to marry him after 2 days! My theory is you find someone who’s crazy matches yours.
My husband parents were in a divorce war…we agreed that there is nothing we couldn’t work through as adults. I was a Christian, my husband was not back then…..he is now. 49 years this years of marriage this year. give 101% to your partner. My father on my wedding day, shared his wisdom to always have a fight with no clothes on….thanks dad! Miss my dad so much.
2 days??? I aspire to be that decisive
20 years married and I couldn't have said it better!
I knew my wife for two days when I proposed. Two weeks later we were married. The two days we’re about establishing whether we had the same values and beliefs. Since we didn’t lie to each other, it worked out well.
I don’t know two weeks for the majority of people isn’t long enough to tell if someone is lying
@@wildcatblue13 We were not together for those two weeks. She was on vacation, went home to quit her job and get ready. Two weeks later I drove across three states, loaded up her stuff, drove her back, and married her the day after we got back. We were 45 years old ( 11 years ago). We both took a huge leap of faith, but we agreed on a biblical marriage, and that’s what we have.
Married at 30, but cultivated a long distance friendship/relationship (pre internet) for over 9 years prior to that.
I've been married to my French soul mate for over 30 years now and have 3 well-adjusted adult children.
We are blessed. ❤
I married at 17, he was 27. Love at first sight for me, he took longer.😂 Yes, shared values is paramount. We had 41 years together before he passed 5 years ago.
Wow. 17 & 27 years old? You're giving me hope😅. I just turned 28 today, and I've low-key been worried about my chances of meeting a genuine partner in her early to mid 20s that hasn't bought into hook-up culture (I personally never really dated, and I wasn't into the hook-up thing either) as I'm scared I'm getting too old.
Any general thoughts or advice?
PS: I'm a Nigerian immigrant who moved to Canada (legally) last summer. Also, dating just never "came naturally" to me in my teenage to early 20s because I knew I hadn't really developed a good vision of what those things were supposed to look like and be aimed towards. (Much like Nick here, I didn't have good examples in my close family, it was just a bunch of good examples of things I DIDN'T want for my life, so I always kinda knew I'd have to "build the whole thing from scratch".).
This has been a mouthful. Thanks for reading this far😅
This is a little sketchy Im not going to lie
@@Okgam3r Probably normal then
24 years happy marriage. Ups and downs but still in love and married and sticking it out!
I married at 19 as well. We’re coming up on 31 years!!
I've been married to my wife for five years now. Started long distance for the first three years of the marriage, but she's here now. I haven't put much thought into whether or not I "married crazy." It just is what it is and we're both happy.
My husband and I are going strong 27+ years with 2 brilliant grown children. Did we have to go back to the negotiation table? Yes. Yet we did so with respect for one another and calmly talked it out. We call a situation out immediately, we don’t hold on to anything. Discuss it, come to a compromise and it’s OVER!
My dad always said to me, “If you ever meet a girl with a terrible tattoo, try to marry her.”
“She makes bad decisions but sticks with it.”
Dad was a funny guy.
LOL that was funny
Lolzzzz
Funny, but horrible advice
Not true in my experience
Married for almost 8 years, we have two kids, and i cannot imagine my life without my husband!! I love him so much more than the day I married him (and that was a whole awful lot) and I'll love him until death do us part. So thankful to the Lord for him.
Why was it awful?
28 years Ago I married my high school sweetheart and my best friend. We finished growing up together and learned a lot about each other and a lot about ourselves as we stood together through everything so far. With God's help, we're still going strong and we can confirm that this, all of this is true and accurate. Thank you, Sir, for giving these important life lessons that so many need to hear.
Solid advice.
Not easy, not always possible, but worth it. I'm 49 still single and still looking for someone with shared values, looking at the state of most everyone I grew up with it seems apparent that single and celibate is the best choice I had.
19 years in…I love this! We work at it, we expect change, and we just do it…but yes shared values, is HUGE! Our faith even changes we are now too Christian for Christians or at least I am and we are still going!
Can’t wait for the next 19 years!!!
Can you elaborate on the
too Christian?
😂I'm nosey, I've been told.
The core values is key. Its the thing you fall back on in the storms of life, and know the person is in it with you 🥰
Nailed it again, Nick.
read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.
What?
When the officiant asks if anyone has an objection - it's really too late as most couples have already dug into their position of getting married regardless of whatever is mentioned. Being smart enough to evaluate the objections that friends/family bring up along the way AND navigating difficult conversations - PRICELESS! It can save so much pain.
Married at 19 and 21, 30 years in. Before we were married we knew what we wanted in kids, work, and education. Told her I will always do and she told me what she expected.
Sound advice by Nick here.
My husband and I have been together for 23 years now. On our first date, I managed to ask him his views on religion, politics and his main hobbies. We agreed on the first two which was good enough for me! We do share some hobbies like gardening and cooking, but his love of sports and my love of reading and prepping gives us some time alone so we can keep a little bit of independence but come back together and play video games or cook a meal. Just make sure you agree on the big issues!
He started with values because values is what creates the foundation of marriage
As a 19 year old guy this is one that im most certainly taking notes on
, and i thinks its no coincidence that my step dad and i where literally having this conversation minutes before this vidoe came out.
Check out the "dear dawson" series also
Let me save you some time.
They are ALL crazy. Any human being who cannot control their emotions, regardless of whether it's due to hormones or lack of willpower, is crazy and unstable, and our current laws prevent you from taking the necessary actions to limit the damage such an individual can do if they pop off.
So don't risk it, just stay single, stay free. See you on the road brother.
@@StarboyXL9 bro this is one of the saddest comments that I've seen yet, do you not want someone that you love so much that you want to spend the rest of your life together?
Edit: and what if you want to start a family?
@@Jesse_Ghost_ you're completely failing to hear him
@@cosmictreason2242 Yeah, I'm used to it by now, but its still sad.
I’m on my third marriage, and it’s working beautifully. Nick, this wisdom is gold! Thank you for sharing!
Been married 52yrs. I've been asked many times what the secret is. The answer is when fight or disagree dont leave. You are gaurenteed to be mad many times. Either get over it, compromise, or surrender and forgive this time. Whats over is over don't drag up a 20 yr. old arguement. We have no bank accounts that don't have both our names on them. Treat your spouse like you want to be treated.
My late spouse and I always had a list of all the things we loved about each other (non-physical things. Like, I had things like 'I love that he knows how to make me laugh' and 'He has a huge heart for people - willing to give the shirt off his back to someone who doesn't have one'). I'd also add to the list anytime he would go out of his way to do something special for me. Any time we had arguments I'd pull that list out and read over it to remind myself who I knew he was. It worked amazingly well and helped re-frame and ground me. I wish I could have had 52 years with him, I'd like to say we would easily be on our way there. Now I just have my list along side of the letters he wrote for me. I wish you many more happy years.
I needed this video a year ago when I was dating my ex. It would have saved me a lot of pain, but the school of hard knocks teaches some good lessons. Thank you for making this!
Common sense is soooo attractive 😊
I love the way you two treat each other. Congratulations and God bless you
This is exactly right, and so clearly articulated.
(35 years happily married here)
You built each other. Deliberately.
Hey Nick! Today is our 44th Anniversary. Very timely... and... you're spot-on about everything marriagewise! (smile) /RayK
Just the fact people are communicating is amazing. I believe there are a lot of people who didn't and dont
Communication is my second most important issue next to faith, thank you so much for summarizing all of why I think this is SO critically important!!
What do you mean exactly about communication? Because that can mean a lot of things
@@JohnAnderson-ev3lp basically what he talked about… finding someone who knows how to explain things, not leave me wondering what he means, is clear, and just generally avoids confusion and miscommunication. I get that every two people talking for long enough are going to have misunderstandings of each other sometimes, so I’m not asking for perfect, I’m just asking that it’s not a frequent and unavoidable occurrence cause I’ve dealt with that too many times to spend the rest of my life with it😅
Put Honest in front of Communication & I agree.
Bonus tip: don't make her crazy.
As a single guy who has just turned 50, I thank you Nick so much for your advice and experience in your marriage. Will study this, study myself and study the future woman that I be attracted to and who is attracted to me to help me now a single to get ready for a great and grounded marriage!!
26 years of Navy service, 25 years of marriage, 8 kids, no better life I could imagine.
You’ve provided so much value here to young men and women who are willing to listen. This is solid, straight forward and honest. Thank you! Great video.
Relationships are work. If it brakes, fix it. Most people treat other people as disposable.
35 years, the smartest decision we ever made.
👏
That last tip is so true, especially young guys, leave it until the last thing! As hard as it is to resist the temptation.
This has to be one of your best videos, Nick. While I have disagreed with some of your opinions regarding relations between men and women, this time you ate absolutely spot on, especially regarding the first point, _shared values._
Nothing is more important, despite what some dating apps may say regarding compatibility. And, you did not omit the physical aspects, and maintaining oneself out of respect for one's spouse. Keep up the excellent work.
This is spot on and so close to what we taught our daughters!!
"Happy wife, happy life" is the male equivalent of the abused woman crying out as the cops drag the wife-beater away..."But I love him!" (and the fact that she keeps coming back to him or finding the exact same type of abusive guy over and over again and justifying that decision).
Values are crucial
This is such a great conversation and so many would benefit from it.
Ladies, I have worked many decades. It isn’t fulfilling it is necessary. I know ladies whose husbands make the living and these gals know how fortunate they are. They can be intimately involved with their kids and many homeschool.
I’m so sick of my “career” and I missed so many years with my kids and grands just working all the time.
And I was raised to wait. If I could change one thing that would be a thing. I would have waited and saved so much heartache for so many
congrats and blessings to you and Tina
Nick, much like you, I spent my younger years in the military, and college.
I wish I had this wisdom at 24 years old. I married the wrong person for the wrong reasons, and kids are now adults from a broken home. I never remarried. I tried too many times, and never found the values match in life. I never came from a broken home.
I am probably a couple years older than you and I really wish I had this wisdom in the military when I got married.
You know the divorce rate in the military, around 80%, and Uncle Sam needs to put you on base for pre-marriage counseling. Great Job!!!!
You have to have values to know what your values are. Start there.
Not happy wife, happy life. It’s happy spouse, happy house. Not 50/50…100/100!!!
I'm so glad you shared this. My daughter has been feeling very worried that you are the outlier, and the chances of finding a good man and having a strong, happy marriage is next to impossible. (Her paternal unit and my dad have not proven to both be highly toxic.) Thanks for breaking this down for her. ❤
I'm still unmarried at 36, unfortunately, but the wisdom here is good.
Nick, can you talk about Peter Santenellos' blog on Inside Massachusetts nobody talks about. He goes around all of America and shows the reality of what is going on with immigration. He needs more people seeing this. Please talk about it.
Yes I saw that too and it was very insightful!!
Love his videos!❤
I met "The One", and 7 weeks Later we were married in the LDS faith. We were married for 33 years when Cancer took her. Bumps in the road, sure but we had goals shared and deeply loved each other. You are right on Nick.
This man is such a breath of fresh air compared to all those pathetic redpill bros. They could learn a thing or two from Nick.
Thank you, Nick. 100% agree! You speak so well, like the dad we all need. God bless you!