This is really interesting to watch as a woman, because it’s so similar to the self help advice I hear for women. Be in shape, have your own life and goals, be interesting, work on your insecurities, etc. Men and woman are very alike when you really think about it.
"Be able to regulate your nervous system" is so important! But then if you need to regulate it too much it probably means you need to review your partner choice or work on yourself first.
Yep the ex I just broke up with was very emotionally draining and brought the absolute worst out of me. I do some times find it hard to regulate my emotions and she knew how to really set me off then turn it back on me.
Love this man. All fantastic points. I especially love the final one and especially your point on interacting with women with no agenda. I think this is so important. And something I believe women can really sense and feel. And I think an unspoken and underrated benefit of shadow and healing work. I've found that the more I do the more I just come to see women for who they are. As genuine, unique and beautiful human beings. It might sound like a strange thing to say but I've got to place where I just genuinely love and admire women and enjoy interacting with them and getting to know them. I used to be so nervous around women. Now I feel a lot more confident. And I sense women can feel it. Of course ill flirt and have fun with a women I find attractive but it's not my main goal. I just approach them with genuine care and interest. It's such an simple yet important difference.
I love the "get offline" point!! I recently had a revelation.. I was recently asking myself, why do I keep attracting these relationships where people want to build something behind the screen? I need to face my fears and start approaching women in real life. A lot of us hide behind the screen because it gives a sense of safety and comfort. I deleted all my dating apps, and I'm following through with this going forward. What I want, wasn't exactly how I was acting... While I've adjusted to that statement in other areas of my life (ie. financial and life goals) I wasn't actually doing it in regards to potential intimate relationships. love, love, love this video.
"Out-regulate your partner. Wow. The notion that the currency of value, both for the man AND the woman, in a relationship comes down to having self control and self regulation. How simple, and how challenging, This is a true assessment of the nature of masculine potency and frame, it seems to me.
I've been single for a very long time, just turned 30, handsome, short but not out of shape could use more muscle mass. fully bald,, I shave it all clean, have a mustache. don't know what to do, no luck with women, gave up on dating apps/sites, very lonely, working towards goals, BJJ, work out semi-regularly, have a direction to go in life but it's taking a long time, very difficult to cope knowing mad people out there are with each other and im just alone, avoid drinking and bars and stuff, i go to shows
For women you come across who may be disregulated, first check in to see what’s happening in her world and if she is trying to resolve it. She may have too much on her plate and find out too late. Some women are problematic while some women need more support and likely boundaries. I found myself in chaos because I lacked boundaries. Too bad for my ex. He didn’t support me after a ton happened, he left after a time in which I lost a relative. I believe he is a dismissive avoidant and went to extremes. It triggered a bit b/c his reaction was surprisingly poor. I wasn’t my best but wasn’t too bad, but I noticed it and sought help. I have since fixed this….can’t be with a man who runs in moments like that particularly when there are tough times. We’re bound to have issues. Just double check guys; you’ll know if it’s what’s on her plate or if she is the one creating problems everywhere.
Great points. I'm applying those points as best as I can to suit the framework that is me....Unfortunately it's always a question of "Chemistry" "spark" "charisma" that keeps things forming into some sort of relationship.
Good video with actionable things to do. And the nervous system regulation is a good one since it will make your own life so much better and more effortless
*Attracting a high-quality woman starts with being the best version of yourself. Focus on self-improvement - work on your health, career, and mindset. Women are drawn to men who have a strong sense of purpose, confidence, and the ability to lead a fulfilling life.*
12:03 What's really debilitating is being all of these things - a gym goer, a well educated high earning person. And the avoidant partner still is like "ehhhh". Honestly I'm getting the "Just divorce her and move on with your life" message loud and clear lately hey.
Thanks. I've been doing these things most of my life. I resonate with the shotgun approach 😅 (notice the motorcycle in my profile). Where I've gone wrong though has been continuing this mysterious kind of frame well into my long term relationships, which only leaves my partner lacking real connection.
I appreciate men who look after themselves mentally emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. "One trick loser ponies" who have no desire for growth are a waste of time. I love men that are in touch with their feminine energy who are also standing in healthy masculine energy. Where are the men like you? Can't find high value / attractive , interesting men like you anywhere. Excellent videos ❤
Ask yourself, are you a Queen? Do you deserve to be treated like a queen. Do you have that Motherly, caring vibe Can you be that pillar for your man if anything goes south? And then you'll find your "the one" man
I have just purchased your book on kindle, I have enjoyed listening to some of your thoughts - many validate my own experience as an older man. All the best
Guys, get the audio book, My Secret Garden. Women get bored with sex if you’re not trying new things. And the book will blow your mind. You’re welcome. 😏
Paradoxical is a good one. I wear athleisure, but will talk about the extreme metal concert I went to, and nerd out on Godzilla and new balance sneakers.
9:42 - I grew up in Los Angeles, land of beautiful bodies (and a fair degree of crazy). I’ve always been physically active, so yeah - keeping my weight UP is more an issue for me. Cut to me moving to Northern Michigan in 2010. The culture shock I experienced was real. One of the first realizations I had was there is a significantly higher percentage of ‘Big’n’ Tall’ men here. Also a lot more women over 5’7”. But the real shocker was how f-in’ FAT people are here. And they seem to be good with that.
Quick question for all. Im a non believer and atheist and todays most common belief system is spiritualism. Like the power frequencies, sound healings, mantras, etc. Im having hard time to think that those spiritualist people are smart. This might be a me problem as a former hardcore muslim, ex engineer and today professional musician. But should i force myself to get those believers somehow in my serious friend circle? Asking because if else i ll be all alone in my town, which is like the holy capital of spiritualism in my country 😅😁
Two principles I've heard: "expectationless communication" and "confidently move the conversation in a sexual direction" (not from you) seem to be pretty contradictory. Is your advice here just use expectationless comms as practice for later?
I notice that the expectationless communication leads to flirting if the woman gives cues, but I do see the contradiction. It is the ALPHA channels that promote the expectation of kissing on a first date for example. I think the Sigma approach is balanced.
How do you square the bit about "confronting fears" eg being able to ask for phone numbers or whatever, with the expectation-free communication you mention near the end?
9:00. This an interesting theory. Rich Cooper has the opposite theory, something along the lines of, 'women don't care about your journey. They wait at the finish line and fuck the winners.' My experience has always been the latter, but not all women are the same
I'm sure some women will take the risk if they see the finish line as being close enough. I don't think the two viewpoints necessarily have to contradict each other.
Hack: a quick solution that solves a problem, but does not solve it particularly well, or in a particularly good way. Yeah, it's working now, but I just did a hack.
This is really interesting to watch as a woman, because it’s so similar to the self help advice I hear for women. Be in shape, have your own life and goals, be interesting, work on your insecurities, etc. Men and woman are very alike when you really think about it.
Yeah, I am the same and I just ignore when things are labeled for manly man men cause I'll take a good idea from anywhere as long as it's good.
"Be able to regulate your nervous system" is so important! But then if you need to regulate it too much it probably means you need to review your partner choice or work on yourself first.
Yep the ex I just broke up with was very emotionally draining and brought the absolute worst out of me. I do some times find it hard to regulate my emotions and she knew how to really set me off then turn it back on me.
Love this man. All fantastic points. I especially love the final one and especially your point on interacting with women with no agenda. I think this is so important. And something I believe women can really sense and feel. And I think an unspoken and underrated benefit of shadow and healing work. I've found that the more I do the more I just come to see women for who they are. As genuine, unique and beautiful human beings. It might sound like a strange thing to say but I've got to place where I just genuinely love and admire women and enjoy interacting with them and getting to know them. I used to be so nervous around women. Now I feel a lot more confident. And I sense women can feel it. Of course ill flirt and have fun with a women I find attractive but it's not my main goal. I just approach them with genuine care and interest. It's such an simple yet important difference.
Idk how this channel hasn’t completely blown up yet, it’s gold. Keep it up!
I love the "get offline" point!! I recently had a revelation.. I was recently asking myself, why do I keep attracting these relationships where people want to build something behind the screen? I need to face my fears and start approaching women in real life. A lot of us hide behind the screen because it gives a sense of safety and comfort. I deleted all my dating apps, and I'm following through with this going forward. What I want, wasn't exactly how I was acting... While I've adjusted to that statement in other areas of my life (ie. financial and life goals) I wasn't actually doing it in regards to potential intimate relationships. love, love, love this video.
"Out-regulate your partner. Wow. The notion that the currency of value, both for the man AND the woman, in a relationship comes down to having self control and self regulation. How simple, and how challenging, This is a true assessment of the nature of masculine potency and frame, it seems to me.
I've been single for a very long time, just turned 30, handsome, short but not out of shape could use more muscle mass. fully bald,, I shave it all clean, have a mustache. don't know what to do, no luck with women, gave up on dating apps/sites, very lonely, working towards goals, BJJ, work out semi-regularly, have a direction to go in life but it's taking a long time, very difficult to cope knowing mad people out there are with each other and im just alone, avoid drinking and bars and stuff, i go to shows
For women you come across who may be disregulated, first check in to see what’s happening in her world and if she is trying to resolve it. She may have too much on her plate and find out too late. Some women are problematic while some women need more support and likely boundaries.
I found myself in chaos because I lacked boundaries. Too bad for my ex. He didn’t support me after a ton happened, he left after a time in which I lost a relative. I believe he is a dismissive avoidant and went to extremes. It triggered a bit b/c his reaction was surprisingly poor. I wasn’t my best but wasn’t too bad, but I noticed it and sought help. I have since fixed this….can’t be with a man who runs in moments like that particularly when there are tough times. We’re bound to have issues.
Just double check guys; you’ll know if it’s what’s on her plate or if she is the one creating problems everywhere.
Great points. I'm applying those points as best as I can to suit the framework that is me....Unfortunately it's always a question of "Chemistry" "spark" "charisma" that keeps things forming into some sort of relationship.
Good video with actionable things to do.
And the nervous system regulation is a good one since it will make your own life so much better and more effortless
*Attracting a high-quality woman starts with being the best version of yourself. Focus on self-improvement - work on your health, career, and mindset. Women are drawn to men who have a strong sense of purpose, confidence, and the ability to lead a fulfilling life.*
I love how solutions focused this channel is. I've left that comment before, but it's worth leaving again.
12:03 What's really debilitating is being all of these things - a gym goer, a well educated high earning person. And the avoidant partner still is like "ehhhh".
Honestly I'm getting the "Just divorce her and move on with your life" message loud and clear lately hey.
Because women are like cats
Cats choose you
Cats love on conditions ,
Cats love to keep options
You are always just another option
Thanks. I've been doing these things most of my life. I resonate with the shotgun approach 😅 (notice the motorcycle in my profile). Where I've gone wrong though has been continuing this mysterious kind of frame well into my long term relationships, which only leaves my partner lacking real connection.
Wow. Deep bro. Good on you.
🙏🏽 appreciate your advice and wisdom
I appreciate men who look after themselves mentally emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. "One trick loser ponies" who have no desire for growth are a waste of time. I love men that are in touch with their feminine energy who are also standing in healthy masculine energy. Where are the men like you? Can't find high value / attractive , interesting men like you anywhere. Excellent videos ❤
Ask yourself, are you a Queen?
Do you deserve to be treated like a queen.
Do you have that Motherly, caring vibe
Can you be that pillar for your man if anything goes south?
And then you'll find your "the one" man
I have just purchased your book on kindle, I have enjoyed listening to some of your thoughts - many validate my own experience as an older man.
All the best
Guys, get the audio book, My Secret Garden. Women get bored with sex if you’re not trying new things. And the book will blow your mind.
You’re welcome. 😏
Always look forward to your videos!
Paradoxical is a good one. I wear athleisure, but will talk about the extreme metal concert I went to, and nerd out on Godzilla and new balance sneakers.
Brilliant. Thanks.
Great advice
9:42 - I grew up in Los Angeles, land of beautiful bodies (and a fair degree of crazy). I’ve always been physically active, so yeah - keeping my weight UP is more an issue for me. Cut to me moving to Northern Michigan in 2010. The culture shock I experienced was real. One of the first realizations I had was there is a significantly higher percentage of ‘Big’n’ Tall’ men here. Also a lot more women over 5’7”. But the real shocker was how f-in’ FAT people are here. And they seem to be good with that.
Quick question for all.
Im a non believer and atheist and todays most common belief system is spiritualism. Like the power frequencies, sound healings, mantras, etc. Im having hard time to think that those spiritualist people are smart. This might be a me problem as a former hardcore muslim, ex engineer and today professional musician. But should i force myself to get those believers somehow in my serious friend circle? Asking because if else i ll be all alone in my town, which is like the holy capital of spiritualism in my country 😅😁
Only the high end grocery stores have women that are attractive. The obesity epidemic is very clear at regular grocery stores.
Or the workout places you go to
You'll find gold diggers/irresponsible women at Whole Foods, avoid it.
Great content man, no doubt we are all one, when you laugh to yourself, I do to, felt so relatable, keep the grind man
Two principles I've heard: "expectationless communication" and "confidently move the conversation in a sexual direction" (not from you) seem to be pretty contradictory. Is your advice here just use expectationless comms as practice for later?
I notice that the expectationless communication leads to flirting if the woman gives cues, but I do see the contradiction. It is the ALPHA channels that promote the expectation of kissing on a first date for example. I think the Sigma approach is balanced.
Dude spot on video ❤
"Not even gonna spend a lot of time on this one"
Proceeds to spend the most amount of time on this one.
Fitness is everything, men. Get in shape!
How do you square the bit about "confronting fears" eg being able to ask for phone numbers or whatever, with the expectation-free communication you mention near the end?
Mmmm, love the bit about practicing talking to women without an agenda. Learn the signs of mutual interest.
Old head here. Don’t ever overlook/ignore red flags!
9:00. This an interesting theory. Rich Cooper has the opposite theory, something along the lines of, 'women don't care about your journey. They wait at the finish line and fuck the winners.' My experience has always been the latter, but not all women are the same
I'm sure some women will take the risk if they see the finish line as being close enough. I don't think the two viewpoints necessarily have to contradict each other.
Hack: a quick solution that solves a problem, but does not solve it particularly well, or in a particularly good way. Yeah, it's working now, but I just did a hack.
I just don't know how to guess a woman is of quality, just by looking
9:34 You said you weren't gonna spend time in the 3rd point, but it's the largest explanation.
He forgot to make a split for his next topic which was “be interesting”.
By being a better quality man. That simple