Top 20 AVGN Rants - Cinemassacre.com

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  • Опубликовано: 25 дек 2024

Комментарии • 3,2 тыс.

  • @worstcaseontario12
    @worstcaseontario12 9 лет назад +728

    "It's not chocolate, nor is it poop. It's shit!" Fucking poetic, and I mean that

    • @ASR-Ansori
      @ASR-Ansori 9 лет назад +2

      +Killhelm II
      Agreed.

    • @joshuabujosa5477
      @joshuabujosa5477 9 лет назад +1

      True

    • @RuruFIN
      @RuruFIN 9 лет назад +12

      Nerd should have given them some LJN games, same thing.

    • @tonyfrancis2472
      @tonyfrancis2472 8 лет назад +1

      +Taikapeke yes ljn sucks is fucking shit

    • @psychie8625
      @psychie8625 3 года назад +6

      Freaking love this quote.

  • @AnArchyRulzz
    @AnArchyRulzz 8 лет назад +322

    Always loved in the TMNT rant how he ends it with "and I don't like it" it's the best.

  • @stevedyssal2495
    @stevedyssal2495 10 лет назад +484

    In an alternate universe, AVGN will have to experience all these things he says he would rather experience at the end of his life.

    • @kwc0435
      @kwc0435 7 лет назад +47

      Steve Dyssal That will be the worst thing anyone will ever see.

    • @nicholaspiazza8687
      @nicholaspiazza8687 6 лет назад +40

      Example: "I'd rather eat out the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk than play this game."

    • @killerjoker222
      @killerjoker222 2 года назад +4

      Now that would be hellish lol

    • @vitinios
      @vitinios Год назад +7

      in this case he would be saying that he’d rather play dr jekyll and mr hyde

    • @Beefescapesfloods
      @Beefescapesfloods 14 дней назад

      The nerd would rather go to that universe

  • @Jeddeff
    @Jeddeff 12 лет назад +158

    When he says 'I'd Rather' You know you're in for a laugh.

  • @squashmallow2006
    @squashmallow2006 8 лет назад +948

    I owe most of my inspiration for creative swearing from this guy.

    • @zanytobbs
      @zanytobbs 8 лет назад +79

      WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK is my favorite to use at work with idiots lol

    • @Sitdruk97
      @Sitdruk97 6 лет назад +12

      Him and UHF are a big reason I wanted to be a tv station owner and make my own shows and cartoons.

    • @aegiseurobeat4559
      @aegiseurobeat4559 5 лет назад +10

      AVGN is the reason I started saying "Fuckfarts!" and "Shitload of Fuck!"

    • @agedinthesun6689
      @agedinthesun6689 5 лет назад +6

      I think he was in the Navy.

    • @ShiningSilvally
      @ShiningSilvally 5 лет назад +11

      You know what's REALLY FUNNY? I actually started saying Fuckballs BEFORE I KNEW WHO AVGN WAS. Tell me. That that. Isn't. FUCKING. FUNNY.

  • @Ravage669
    @Ravage669 10 лет назад +184

    "That's not chocolate, nor is it poop! IT'S SHIT!" I CAN'T BREATHE!

    • @marcusesepisode
      @marcusesepisode 10 лет назад +3

      That one was actually kind of mean, you know?

    • @janetwilliams7388
      @janetwilliams7388 10 лет назад +12

      What will the kids do when they bring it home say to there mom. Hay bitch want a milkshake.

    • @marcusesepisode
      @marcusesepisode 10 лет назад +4

      No, I'm saying it's misjudging children. They're human beings with common sense. They're not robots....

    • @RachitiqueBoy
      @RachitiqueBoy 10 лет назад +21

      marcusesepisode
      I don't think it's mean after all it's only an avgn video.
      And with the cuts on this scene you obviously see that the kid weren't here when the nerd curse :3

    • @Killerbeast-hx5qp
      @Killerbeast-hx5qp 6 лет назад +5

      Ravage669 the kid’s face when he said poop though XD

  • @TelvanniGuard
    @TelvanniGuard 10 лет назад +120

    It suckin' fucks, it fuckin' sucks, it fuckin' blows, it's a piece of shit... and I don't like it.
    Arguably my favorite line in all of AVGN.

  • @Barnacules
    @Barnacules 12 лет назад +102

    I would 100% buy that T-Shirt and wear it proudly!

  • @JosipFilipovic85
    @JosipFilipovic85 11 лет назад +272

    Fred Fuchs became a myth..

    • @ZeldaACFan17
      @ZeldaACFan17 6 лет назад +5

      Why does he say the F word every time he sees that name?

    • @Granadan
      @Granadan 6 лет назад +25

      ZeldaACFan17 because it’s Fred motherfuckin’ Fuchs

    • @Sitdruk97
      @Sitdruk97 6 лет назад +8

      And it’s only a joke he can read, it’s just AVGN mythology

    • @Tenn_v1
      @Tenn_v1 5 лет назад +1

      69th like

    • @Chris-ql9bu
      @Chris-ql9bu 4 года назад +6

      Its a German name and Fuchs means Fox. Thats why i cant laught about it 😅

  • @OmegaChase1002
    @OmegaChase1002 11 лет назад +394

    "have a pause button!"
    tell that to dark souls.

    • @ZhangHe2369
      @ZhangHe2369 11 лет назад +19

      Thats because its supposed to be a multiplayer game, and the sequel is going to have multiplayer on at all times. Its just very awkward at delivering the multiplayer end.

    • @CookieDynamics
      @CookieDynamics 11 лет назад +7

      Kurt Horsting
      "and the sequel is going to have multiplayer on at all times"
      I might be wrong, but I think Darksouls 1 already is "multiplayer on at all times".

    • @OmegaChase1002
      @OmegaChase1002 11 лет назад +6

      zelda 2 was the dark souls of the 80's. *sudden realization*

    • @baileyyoung4712
      @baileyyoung4712 11 лет назад +2

      Cookie Dynamics Not if I disconnect from the internet it wont.

    • @ZhangHe2369
      @ZhangHe2369 11 лет назад +1

      Bailey Young Unless your speed running, not having the threat of invasion hurts the spirit of the game.

  • @GoogleVideoMan
    @GoogleVideoMan 10 лет назад +238

    My mom doesn't like me watching these videos. Every time my grandmother comes over she makes me put on my headphones.

    • @meowskullsgaming
      @meowskullsgaming 10 лет назад +36

      My parents doesn't give a shit >_

    • @chadd990
      @chadd990 10 лет назад +41

      But she does let you watch it. I wouldn't let my kids watch this. Not because of all the cussing, but because kids don't understand this kind of frustration nor should they be exposed to it. Wait until you're in your 20's, you'll really start to understand these videos. Kids should just enjoy their ignorance.

    • @chadd990
      @chadd990 10 лет назад +1

      *****
      Yeah. what's your conflict?

    • @land161
      @land161 10 лет назад +28

      Hey Guys, This Is My New Name One must be painfully ignorant if they can't fully understand these videos until they are in their 20s.

    • @land161
      @land161 10 лет назад +3

      Hey Guys, This Is My New Name One must be painfully ignorant if they can't fully understand these videos until they are in their 20s.

  • @nudemodel3
    @nudemodel3 10 лет назад +116

    I'm surprised the "only one guy, no continues" rant from Dick Tracy where he screams into the pillow and then drills the cartridge isn't on this list.

    • @aristonfouch2231
      @aristonfouch2231 3 года назад +8

      It should be number 1

    • @Vinthechad
      @Vinthechad 2 года назад +2

      That one is easily my favorite avgn moment, it's so quick but hilarious

    • @OctacleEdits
      @OctacleEdits Год назад +3

      That one’s in Top 10 Moments the Nerd Lost His Mind, I think

  • @agentbuckwall2806
    @agentbuckwall2806 9 лет назад +76

    Fred Fuchs is never gonna get old

  • @hazardous1990
    @hazardous1990 9 лет назад +70

    "like..THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF!!"
    lol he gets so pissed

  • @katch415
    @katch415 4 года назад +56

    12:37 a timeless classic

  • @Comment_User
    @Comment_User 9 лет назад +288

    Imagine dr jekyll and mr hyde LJN edit on the R Zone with controls of dark castle and made by Fred Fuchs

    • @AwesomeCoolGuy2133
      @AwesomeCoolGuy2133 8 лет назад +7

      +Comment_User Oh, FUCK NO!!!!!

    • @ennohankel6658
      @ennohankel6658 8 лет назад +20

      And with ghe logic of silver surfer,made by fred fuchs and everytime you die you get elektrocuded by mecha godzillas mechanical weiner

    • @colbykanter2000
      @colbykanter2000 8 лет назад +21

      And remade on Tiger.

    • @alphabloodhawk
      @alphabloodhawk 6 лет назад +15

      And you control it with the power glove

    • @JaggedBird
      @JaggedBird 5 лет назад +9

      You made me physically shutter...well done

  • @Dslasher99
    @Dslasher99 9 лет назад +46

    Number 9 is comedy gold.
    "I'd rather 69 a grizzly bear,"

  • @PikaJaune
    @PikaJaune 8 лет назад +66

    I always though the batman one was one of the most intense rant he did.

  • @williamraymusic
    @williamraymusic 8 лет назад +142

    If he updated this, he'd have to add his Tiger wrist game and football rants.

  • @kafueru
    @kafueru 10 лет назад +248

    How did he get through number 20 without laughing his ass off? LOL

    • @therewasanattempt7092
      @therewasanattempt7092 10 лет назад +6

      I got through it...

    • @usamazahid3882
      @usamazahid3882 10 лет назад

      Emma Buenaga what about the 10th Rant?, That Reminds me of the Hilarious Ghostbusters Movie.

    • @huntermenard633
      @huntermenard633 9 лет назад +9

      I know it was so funny

    • @usamazahid3882
      @usamazahid3882 9 лет назад +3

      Hunter Menard say what would happen if the "Well maybe my theory is correct" clip if the Ghostbusters Rant, pops up. that will put him to his senses.

    • @thunderstudent
      @thunderstudent 9 лет назад +4

      Usama Zahid That would have been interesting

  • @EinoRapids
    @EinoRapids 7 лет назад +66

    "Oh and the Mario game.. THAT ONE SUCKS TOO!" xDDD

  • @pluviamachina3583
    @pluviamachina3583 11 лет назад +86

    Yep, "the games suck so bad, he makes up his own words".

  • @riannegent2080
    @riannegent2080 9 лет назад +72

    I have always wondered how much James' neighbours complain about all the swearing

    • @kostasgr1858
      @kostasgr1858 6 лет назад +15

      maybe he doesn't have neighbours. maybeeeeeeeeeee

    • @hafizo_kurosaki
      @hafizo_kurosaki 4 года назад +9

      Isn't he played these games in his basement?

  • @BooTedesco
    @BooTedesco 9 лет назад +80

    It's as worthless as that LJN poster that I have behind me. I died!

  • @SilverAxe13
    @SilverAxe13 13 лет назад +22

    God AVGN just never gets old. Been a fan of his since he started. Keep it up James.

  • @Calham64
    @Calham64 8 лет назад +50

    3:45 Should've included all that as a stage in AVGN Adventures. XD

    • @KirbysterPlays
      @KirbysterPlays 7 лет назад +6

      Calham64 OMG yesss!!!

    • @korvusgaming4927
      @korvusgaming4927 4 года назад +2

      They actually put this in the AVGN video game. Even the AVGN was like "What was I thinking?!"

  • @kirbybro4
    @kirbybro4 8 лет назад +54

    12:58 where did the hair go?! where did the hair go?!

  • @TheCoDzillaPlayer
    @TheCoDzillaPlayer 11 лет назад +52

    If Fred Fuchs is alive id love him to be a guest or something lol!

  • @MrXabungle
    @MrXabungle 11 лет назад +34

    Dick Tracy is the best rant ever. Just listen to James let it all out

  • @TechnologySpotlight
    @TechnologySpotlight 8 лет назад +46

    13:06 "It sucking fucks" then he says "It fucking sucks."

  • @Cuuuuuuurtis
    @Cuuuuuuurtis 4 года назад +9

    “It’s so bad, it sucks. It’s so fuckin’ suck, it fucks.” Nothing beats this.

  • @WinVisten
    @WinVisten 10 лет назад +47

    Even Chuck Norris can't crap through his pants.

  • @gracefulgaming6774
    @gracefulgaming6774 9 лет назад +52

    ONE LIFE?! NO CONTINUES?!?!

    • @uTubeNoITube
      @uTubeNoITube 8 лет назад +19

      WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @JulienNeel
    @JulienNeel 13 лет назад +8

    What a treat to get a new AVGN video every other day!
    I've watched all your stuff from the beginning, for FREE (thanks). I'm going to order your DVDs, it's really the least I can do for all this amazing quality entertainment you brought to me.
    Keep it up man!

  • @ernestoa.jimenez3206
    @ernestoa.jimenez3206 11 лет назад +12

    The Nerd in Silver Surfer's "game over" pose: Priceless. That's how I feel whenever I'm stuck in any game,

  • @MrWendell6702
    @MrWendell6702 4 года назад +29

    I laughed so hard that tears streamed down my face throughout

  • @stormstrider1990
    @stormstrider1990 8 лет назад +35

    The Tiger Games rant was pretty funny, but that was after this list was made.

    • @TwinkofArchie40
      @TwinkofArchie40 5 лет назад

      Prince Stormstrider That toilet paper is worth a whole lot more!

  • @tylercfuhr
    @tylercfuhr 7 лет назад +4

    "hitting your mark is like trying to piss into a shot glass that's spinning on a record player that's strapped to a cheetah's back while you're riding a unicycle on a tightrope blindfolded." one of his best quotes. It was in the transformers episode so I can understand why it wasn't in here.

    • @cedricverner7380
      @cedricverner7380 6 лет назад

      Wow that one made me laugh so hard I woke up my girlfriend

  • @Susiruhtinas
    @Susiruhtinas 11 лет назад +21

    My favorite is in Dick Tracy, at the end: Give me a reason, why there are no continues... WHY!!!!...

  • @grimTales1
    @grimTales1 9 лет назад +13

    'I'll tell you what the effect is, it's FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!' XD

    • @trippystizz
      @trippystizz 8 лет назад

      I read that right when he said it.

  • @TheJigen
    @TheJigen 12 лет назад +9

    ... Whenever im sad, stressed, depressed, pissed, or in any other negative mood, AVGN always manages to make me smile =)

  • @billychristopher687
    @billychristopher687 5 лет назад +9

    0:52 it’s like poetry, so beautiful

  • @Burn_Angel
    @Burn_Angel 7 лет назад +23

    I watched this while eating. I have no regrets.
    Also, I see what you did at 4:07

  • @Thunderbolt_1000_Siren
    @Thunderbolt_1000_Siren 7 лет назад +6

    "not chocolate nor is it poop it's shit!" fucking best line ever

  • @ZacharyDietze
    @ZacharyDietze 8 лет назад +26

    I'm still wondering what his new bad word was after all these years...

    • @noahbickett3365
      @noahbickett3365 8 лет назад +11

      Zachary Jorgensen it's actually just the F word again but bleeping it out makes it 100x more funny

    • @Bauglir100
      @Bauglir100 7 лет назад +16

      It's "Scunt".

  • @SolidSnake684
    @SolidSnake684 11 лет назад +6

    besides game glitches (another favorite of mine) this was the first AVGN episode i watched. I was dying of laughter, as it had all his best moments in one video. This video forever cemented me as an AVGN fan, and every once in a while i'll go on a marathon for a week or so and watch 10-20 episodes, like im doing right now!

  • @Zezoneraker
    @Zezoneraker 11 лет назад +89

    ewwww thats not candy thats poop
    its not candy nor poop
    ITS SHIT!!!!!
    XD that always puts me in a good mood

  • @therewasanattempt7092
    @therewasanattempt7092 10 лет назад +33

    My brother Kevin grew up with cdi...yeah that was hard times

    • @arifakyuz7673
      @arifakyuz7673 7 лет назад +10

      Hope he is well today. They say an overexposure of CDI would cause permanent brain damage to what is a good or bad game.

    • @jodiejeynes8642
      @jodiejeynes8642 7 лет назад +5

      Poor kid

  • @irwin9206
    @irwin9206 4 года назад +14

    He needs to make a video where he actually does ALL the things he says he'd "rather do" than play these games.

  • @inactive604
    @inactive604 8 лет назад +37

    That's Not chocolate nor its poop ITS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! XD

  • @2FaceBurntOut
    @2FaceBurntOut 8 лет назад +31

    James was cute af when he was young

  • @ItsDKoda
    @ItsDKoda 11 лет назад +8

    Its not chocolate, nor is it poop - Its shit!
    best line ever

  • @arcyeo8111
    @arcyeo8111 6 лет назад +5

    Deadly Towers should hands-down be number one. That episode has some of the most funniest rants, and there's even German!

  • @RashidSivaji
    @RashidSivaji 13 лет назад +12

    I'm still waiting for a video in which James does all of the things he says "he'd rather"

  • @nerdsman567
    @nerdsman567 13 лет назад +7

    We thank you James for all the precious memories you've given us :)

  • @12coudak000
    @12coudak000 10 лет назад +65

    Number 19 should be number 1 ROFL,ITS SO BAD IT SUCKS,ITS SO FUCKING SUCK IT FUCKS

    • @VilexPlague
      @VilexPlague 9 лет назад +10

      ***** You sound like someone I could trust my life with, good sir.

  • @zanytobbs
    @zanytobbs 8 лет назад +14

    How the fuck can a duck not fucking duck?
    One of my favorites

  • @TheAazv17
    @TheAazv17 11 лет назад +24

    It fucking sucks, it sucking fucks, and it fucking blows, lol that killed me.

  • @grungyperry7530
    @grungyperry7530 10 лет назад +14

    5:16 this is how I feel about games nowadays.

  • @baffledbrandon3132
    @baffledbrandon3132 3 года назад +2

    Love how all of these are from classic AVGN episodes.

  • @yoyowassupyo
    @yoyowassupyo 13 лет назад +7

    "It's not chocolate nor is it poop, it's SHIT" That part makes me die every time.

  • @HomerSimpsonRogerAlien
    @HomerSimpsonRogerAlien 8 лет назад +9

    6:50 my reaction to the difficulty of mighty no. 9

    • @kwc0435
      @kwc0435 7 лет назад

      Do you approve of your son being in that awful game series?

  • @michaelbreen7865
    @michaelbreen7865 8 лет назад +13

    Don't sugar-coat it, Nerd, tell us how you really feel. HAHA!

  • @marhansgamingchannel4732
    @marhansgamingchannel4732 4 года назад +3

    I love how he put some contra music at 4:07 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dread205
    @dread205 11 лет назад +6

    I bet James would love to watch Trailer Park Boys. Seems the humor would be right up his alley.

    • @11gingin
      @11gingin 11 лет назад +1

      haha, never thought of that

    • @NSGhostbusters
      @NSGhostbusters 6 лет назад +1

      "Why don't you leave Ricky?" Why don't you fuck off, go get some liposuction." lol Ricky is the best

  • @yungblud2000
    @yungblud2000 10 лет назад +12

    I can't tell if he's laughing at Fred "fucks" or if he's just lost all hope in humanity

  • @marinoscarpa895
    @marinoscarpa895 6 лет назад +6

    When i'm pissed off whatching this makes me feel good

  • @L4ptopgirl
    @L4ptopgirl 11 лет назад +22

    fred fuchs should of been higher

  • @almadinedragonfyre3745
    @almadinedragonfyre3745 11 лет назад +2

    does my heart good to hear someones real opinion. love it.

  • @riplixx6577
    @riplixx6577 8 лет назад +19

    6:48 my favorite

  • @JDLupus
    @JDLupus 12 лет назад +5

    My favourite rant was the ending to the Dick Tracy episode. IMO it's the angriest he's been.

  • @bruhnisher5454
    @bruhnisher5454 3 года назад +2

    It has been 10 years, we need part 2.

  • @predatorxx8486
    @predatorxx8486 9 лет назад +11

    I want to know what that curse word was

  • @KimonoFlareonGX
    @KimonoFlareonGX 4 года назад +3

    5:05 Double Dragon Game Over

  • @xcar0982
    @xcar0982 8 лет назад +2

    7:26 I love the expression of the Nerd with the batman mask does here.

  • @greyshadow9848
    @greyshadow9848 7 лет назад +6

    I know he only plays retro games but we should have a petition him to play dark souls

  • @didakad4207
    @didakad4207 6 лет назад +5

    13 is the best 4:16
    edit: 3:30 If someone makes a game like this you have yourself to blame. I really hope someone does.

  • @braxbro7602
    @braxbro7602 4 года назад +2

    We need an updated version of this. Maybe 20 more rants?

  • @cng507
    @cng507 10 лет назад +15

    12:30 Tell that to Desert Bus.

  • @tomhoedt6467
    @tomhoedt6467 3 года назад +3

    How are deadly towers and dark castle not up there

  • @283vic
    @283vic 12 лет назад +1

    thank you, people like you give me hope for a better world.

  • @FresnoCA93727
    @FresnoCA93727 7 лет назад +6

    "Oh yea! It's that bad!"

  • @TheRealArtimusKnight
    @TheRealArtimusKnight 4 года назад +3

    James, how do you come up with half of these things

  • @ibarrarzkyt
    @ibarrarzkyt 10 лет назад +2

    What's the song at the 00:06? Do anyone knows? Or what game song it is.. Thx

    • @jvince001
      @jvince001 3 месяца назад

      Seriously. It’s badass.

  • @greatbritishscarface7464
    @greatbritishscarface7464 3 года назад +6

    Batman's my favourite one.

  • @jettthespeeddemon3884
    @jettthespeeddemon3884 6 лет назад +7

    4:46-4:50 amuses me every time!

  • @AntwaanRandleEl
    @AntwaanRandleEl 12 лет назад +2

    One of my fav rants is in Superman64 with the ending "THIS IS A JOB FOR THE FUKKIN NERD" :D

  • @kevin11111112
    @kevin11111112 12 лет назад +7

    I love how he uses terms for feces to describe absolutely anything he doesn't like

  • @infraredtoa9105
    @infraredtoa9105 9 лет назад +11

    i like batman rant more,my reaction over Watchmojo top 10 capcom franchises

    • @Mariujana90
      @Mariujana90 8 лет назад +7

      that can be said for any watchmojo video

  • @Kjj316
    @Kjj316 6 лет назад +2

    TMNT should be #1. I'm rolling on the floor every time I see that episode. But you have to start with..."you just walk over it??"

  • @ufological
    @ufological 11 лет назад +6

    Brought to you by friends of Fred Fuchs.

  • @mikena7014
    @mikena7014 11 лет назад +17


    12:35 classic

  • @EB3Rplus
    @EB3Rplus 3 года назад +1

    I wouldn't play with the Power Glove, but I'd still wear it around the house like the Nerd!

  • @mitchelltheawesome1
    @mitchelltheawesome1 4 года назад +3

    He didnt have to go THAT hard at 13:09...

  • @RoboIsCool
    @RoboIsCool 8 лет назад +10

    i want someone to make a game like 3:48

  • @littlemacisunderrated412
    @littlemacisunderrated412 4 года назад +2

    I can confirm, it is easier to walk barefoot without having your feet and heels you thing the floors

  • @Benjarmon
    @Benjarmon 9 лет назад +6

    number 3 is my favorite

  • @SyRose901
    @SyRose901 5 лет назад +3

    Fact for the non-english people: Cockamamie is actually a word.

  • @nielsbal3385
    @nielsbal3385 4 года назад +1

    I finally learned which game they play in movies.

  • @sharktheultimatepr3dator838
    @sharktheultimatepr3dator838 10 лет назад +6

    godzilla was the best episode!