Humanity's First Interstellar War | HFY | A short Sci-Fi Story

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  • Опубликовано: 24 янв 2025

Комментарии • 118

  • @ComradeNerd
    @ComradeNerd Год назад +478

    Humanity unleashed its most deadliest weapon: lawyers. 💀

    • @jerometruitt2731
      @jerometruitt2731 Год назад +10

      I was gonna say this. These stories are awesome 😂😂😂😂

    • @niyablake
      @niyablake Год назад +23

      This is a trifecta of lawyers , diplomats and politicians . They didn't stand a chance

    • @MacKnight
      @MacKnight Год назад +7

      I bet they work for Nitendo.

    • @niyablake
      @niyablake Год назад +18

      @@MacKnight in 2119 , using Nintendo lawyers was declared a war crime

    • @MacKnight
      @MacKnight Год назад +2

      @@niyablake 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @clonechoopa31
    @clonechoopa31 Год назад +247

    If a Japanese copyright lawyer had been present, I bet the Praax would have had to transfer half of their interstellar GDP as reparations as well 😂

    • @mitchnewara3229
      @mitchnewara3229 11 месяцев назад +6

      🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀

    • @PeachDragon_
      @PeachDragon_ 11 месяцев назад +30

      If i was the human prime minister: "get Nintendo on the coms"

  • @johncunningham4820
    @johncunningham4820 Год назад +210

    Fucking Lawyers . The most Evil Creature in Existence . But also INDISPENSIBLE . Well played Councilor .

    • @niyablake
      @niyablake Год назад

      Diplomats plus lawyers. Lawyers job is to fuck you over . Diplomat job is to make you enjoy it

    • @SpaceFics
      @SpaceFics 8 месяцев назад +4

      the ultimate human weapon, bureaucracy

    • @FrostyShock349
      @FrostyShock349 8 месяцев назад +1

      the classic human weapon: A Necessary Evil

  • @darkhorse13golfgaming
    @darkhorse13golfgaming Год назад +172

    The entire Terran Military: "Oh, the mission got cancelled? Good."

    • @jsbrads1
      @jsbrads1 11 месяцев назад +9

      Except for the Marines.

    • @AnimeAmvStar
      @AnimeAmvStar 11 месяцев назад +12

      @@jsbrads1 Give them more crayons should calm them down for a bit

    • @kirilmitrev8391
      @kirilmitrev8391 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@AnimeAmvStar bet they still will demand for at least one battle

    • @carlchapman4053
      @carlchapman4053 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@AnimeAmvStar Until they finish eating them, then we all know how they get after the colour rush!

  • @mannydavis7708
    @mannydavis7708 Год назад +255

    The 9.2 billion year old Praxx Conglomerate seems on the verge of bankruptcy, running out of resources. Probably wouldn't take too much to push them over the edge. If only there was some species around with traders skilled in financial skullduggery to give things a little push. . .

    • @michaelpettersson4919
      @michaelpettersson4919 11 месяцев назад +23

      And a century humans owns the Praxx Conglomerate...

    • @TheSolidSnakeOil
      @TheSolidSnakeOil 11 месяцев назад +29

      Rules of Acquisition:
      #34 - War is good for business
      #35 - Peace is good for business

    • @foundationguard5315
      @foundationguard5315 11 месяцев назад +7

      ​@@TheSolidSnakeOil business is boomin'

    • @KiithNaabal
      @KiithNaabal 11 месяцев назад +5

      The more terrifying problem in this particular universe is that there appears to be stakes on every resource already and exploitation is at a point there is no more resources to exploite. This means civilisations will soon collapse like coorparations.

    • @foundationguard5315
      @foundationguard5315 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@KiithNaabal they have 2 choices, either collapse under their own weight or fight for what they desire. No in-between as everyone wants the same thing.

  • @Tonster_AKS
    @Tonster_AKS Год назад +69

    To win but never fight, that's the art of war.

  • @Shadow.Dragon
    @Shadow.Dragon Год назад +119

    Great story! I bet the lawyer's fees are going to be worse than if the Praax had won. 😞

    • @ehsnils
      @ehsnils Год назад +9

      The loser pays the lawyers.

    • @jamesmcgeever9405
      @jamesmcgeever9405 Год назад +1

      Hahaha

    • @wakcedout
      @wakcedout Год назад +5

      Pretty sure the celebration they’d receive coming home to earth having won such a case for all humanity, would be enough. Not too mention they’d likely be set for life after that.
      Honestly, taking care of them for life and not losing earth, would be worth every penny. Coupled with the fact the secured earth for humanity without a single loss of human life.

    • @robinpage2730
      @robinpage2730 11 месяцев назад

      The Praax Conglomerate lost. They have to pay the human lawyers.

    • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
      @ireallyreallyhategoogle 10 месяцев назад

      Nah, only 10% of earth's resources.

  • @rossdavies8250
    @rossdavies8250 Год назад +68

    Nice little story. Refreshing to hear something that is extolling the proficiency of human lawyers and diplomats, rather than the usual jingoistic warrior tub thumping. Which, I have to say, I do like...

  • @scotts918
    @scotts918 11 месяцев назад +21

    Aliens: Earth is ours, it's worth 15 billion credits 👀
    Humanity: Okay, that'll cost you 25 billion credits :)

  • @ekhidna4
    @ekhidna4 Год назад +42

    Ah, the only warrior of humanity that is unleashed when all else fails. Lawyers.

    • @KinshinReaper
      @KinshinReaper 11 месяцев назад +3

      When all else fails, or when things go waay better than planned XD

  • @yomogami4561
    @yomogami4561 Год назад +34

    well that was different
    enjoyed the story and congratulations to the author for finding a unique manner of warfare

  • @waynecampeau4566
    @waynecampeau4566 Год назад +64

    They are just luck the humans did not send a couple of Tax Layers to the meeting. The Praxx could have lost over a third of their empire. :)

  • @damionnorby2678
    @damionnorby2678 Год назад +53

    Now, that's how you fight a war...

    • @caelestigladii
      @caelestigladii Год назад +7

      Ironically, that’s the whole concept behind the UN. Sad it is powerless when it matters though.

  • @JoaoSoares-rs6ec
    @JoaoSoares-rs6ec Год назад +24

    Never will humanity give up on sacred terra.

  • @GuukanKitsune
    @GuukanKitsune 11 месяцев назад +14

    Just your reminder that, while at any time there are at least three wars of some description going on in the world being fought by armies...
    In the halls of diplomacy a hundred wars are fought and won every day, by a handful of people armed with nothing but words.

  • @Aabergm
    @Aabergm 11 месяцев назад +7

    This is the best kind of war. The one that starts and ends with paperwork.

  • @deanlawson6880
    @deanlawson6880 10 месяцев назад +2

    Wow! That was really really GOOD! Humanity's most devious and potent weapon *Lawyers*... Hahahaha!!!!
    I just love a good story that has an unexpected and interesting twist!
    Nicely Done - Thanks for this!!

  • @jsbrads1
    @jsbrads1 11 месяцев назад +6

    Reminds of the Dust short where an alien race picked a lawyer to represent Earth in condemning all the water on the planet for their taking…

    • @despaney
      @despaney 11 месяцев назад +2

      Finding the little hidden clause cancelling the whole operation (the fact that the aliens could not be there in the required time if I recall correctly)

    • @jsbrads1
      @jsbrads1 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@despaney indeed, but it was done in a riveting way, but it was just two people talking in a room. I don’t know why it got me so good.

    • @despaney
      @despaney 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@jsbrads1 Yeah it was really well done, it placed us in the shoes of the lawyer with the unfairness of the situation and the urge to find a thing, anything, to not be the cause of the imminent disaster.

    • @jsbrads1
      @jsbrads1 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@despaney I wanted to trade the aliens Ceres and Titan for wormhole tech… more water there than all of earth.

  • @ashleycroydon9743
    @ashleycroydon9743 11 месяцев назад +11

    There's a reason we humans detest and begrudgingly respect lawyers 😂

  • @KSCPMark6742
    @KSCPMark6742 Год назад +4

    That was _different_. I liked it!

  • @PitterPatter20
    @PitterPatter20 10 месяцев назад

    I like this story. It's quite clever and a nice departure from the normal war stories in this genre. Well done to the author.

  • @rrahh8789
    @rrahh8789 Год назад +6

    The human lawyer is probably a native of the Washington Beltway area.

  • @LuisManuelLealDias
    @LuisManuelLealDias 11 месяцев назад +2

    Ok this was a really funny story. Kudos!

  • @sleepingbackbone7581
    @sleepingbackbone7581 10 месяцев назад +1

    "Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in same package. How efficient of you."

  • @queenbee8045
    @queenbee8045 Год назад +4

    If you see a human lawyer… run.

  • @soup8315
    @soup8315 11 месяцев назад +1

    a body language translator makes so much sense

  • @vanguard9067
    @vanguard9067 11 месяцев назад +4

    The Human’s Are Space Orc’s, um I mean Space Attorneys.

  • @stevenredpath9332
    @stevenredpath9332 11 месяцев назад +7

    The Praxx are no Vogons.

    • @Tome36
      @Tome36 10 месяцев назад +1

      42 is always the answer

  • @thisissparta1690
    @thisissparta1690 Год назад +1

    I wish the author was know. . . well done!

  • @Schenton
    @Schenton Год назад +4

    Very different but I liked it allot.

  • @DrFrankNStein-sf2ww
    @DrFrankNStein-sf2ww 3 месяца назад

    Always ask yourself: "What would Captain Picard do ?"

  • @IceFiction404
    @IceFiction404 11 месяцев назад +1

    Good story !!🤠

  • @icepicjoey
    @icepicjoey 11 месяцев назад +1

    Lawyers... the most vicious weapons ever created. 😂

  • @Tomo_TT
    @Tomo_TT 11 месяцев назад +1

    6mins of awesomeness

  • @rensfordbishop5999
    @rensfordbishop5999 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you. Well enjoyed.

  • @alastairbrand4998
    @alastairbrand4998 Год назад +2

    Oh god. Humanity wins, but the future belongs to the lawyers.😮

  • @mileselmonroe
    @mileselmonroe Год назад +1

    I love so much about this!

  • @erikkennedy8725
    @erikkennedy8725 10 месяцев назад

    Figures our first interstellar war would be fought by lawyers...

  • @PaulStSmith
    @PaulStSmith 10 месяцев назад

    Nothing, but nothing whatsoever is scarier than a well trained lawyer. 😂😂😂

  • @RamonInNZ
    @RamonInNZ Год назад +2

    Hehe Human are some of the4 most devious bastards in the universe!

  • @ramonalejano671
    @ramonalejano671 7 месяцев назад

    Interesting. Amusing. Witty.

  • @samutraifin
    @samutraifin 10 месяцев назад

    "we are goin to war. arm the lawyers whit Interstellar law book"

  • @tristanthealien3249
    @tristanthealien3249 10 месяцев назад

    Is there a continuation to this story, I like it

  • @lyromata
    @lyromata Год назад +3

    Brilliant…enjoyed it.

  • @pyeitme508
    @pyeitme508 Год назад +1

    Interesting.

  • @StrangeTerror
    @StrangeTerror Год назад

    That was beatuiful.

  • @Le_Fenix
    @Le_Fenix 11 месяцев назад

    Fucking lawyers. The bane of everyone

  • @davidturner4824
    @davidturner4824 11 месяцев назад

    Good story.

  • @ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc
    @ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc Год назад

    well done.

  • @markfergerson2145
    @markfergerson2145 11 месяцев назад +1

    That’s great, but Earth is not the whole of Sol system. If the rest was also claimed, there will have to be another war for every planet, moon and asteroid in Sol system.

  • @PeachDragon_
    @PeachDragon_ 11 месяцев назад

    I would've preferred turning the praax to past tense but a W is a W

  • @DasHeino2010
    @DasHeino2010 Год назад

    Interesting! ^^

  • @martyschrader
    @martyschrader 4 месяца назад +1

    ...but not its last. Of that I am sure.

  • @johnmallari9742
    @johnmallari9742 6 месяцев назад

    I dont know if the AI is out of breath or sleepy?

  • @thetinkerist
    @thetinkerist 11 месяцев назад

    Hahaha, I like this story 😂 thx 😂

  • @jeffreyprice3614
    @jeffreyprice3614 Год назад +2

    I believe this story to be incorrectly tagged #HFY and should instead be tagged #LFY

    • @proudamerican183
      @proudamerican183 11 месяцев назад +1

      I'm guessing the L is for Lawyer?

    • @jeffreyprice3614
      @jeffreyprice3614 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@proudamerican183 yes, and I happily admit that I am married to a lawyer :)

    • @proudamerican183
      @proudamerican183 11 месяцев назад

      @@jeffreyprice3614 Cool.

  • @damirserbanovic
    @damirserbanovic Год назад +1

    LAW & Order in Space , subscribed for more :D

  • @DeMause
    @DeMause 11 месяцев назад

    Personally I enjoy this kind of story much more than the "human war strongk" ones.

  • @Mrcometo
    @Mrcometo 11 месяцев назад

    Nice. This is Asimovesque

  • @SpaceFics
    @SpaceFics 8 месяцев назад

    I always hated the idea of gallactic wars, interstellar are another beast

  • @thedavecorp
    @thedavecorp 11 месяцев назад

    Neenur neenur.

  • @ElizabethRobertson-b4z
    @ElizabethRobertson-b4z 9 месяцев назад

    Too bad we can't do this on Earth.

  • @SageofStars
    @SageofStars 11 месяцев назад +3

    I mean, the reason this isn't done often is because it takes an interesting Council/Conclave/Galactic Alliance to make this sort of thing work. They have to be JUST the right kind of indifferent and non-malicious to make this sort of plot work, as they have to be sticklers for the rules, and have nothing against the smaller species disrupting things.
    So many of these stories have them lean one way or the other too much. The indifferent simply won't stop the other species until the war is started, and thus, humanity needs to stand on its own, even when the galactic community feels like they really should just submit to the forces that are simply stronger.
    Of course, the other way, and you wind up with the Galactic Community siding WITH humanity against this species, and they will not tolerate it, as this will force a conflict, and help uplift the humans because of it, likely giving them a future much like the Krogan, which is why we sympathize so much with the murdering dinosaurs.
    Still, when you get JUST the right mixture of these two, creating a lawful neutral galactic community, you create the kind of universe where it is the one who knows and understand all the rules in the book, who can be the big damn hero.

  • @jdau2b
    @jdau2b Год назад

    As it should be …..among civilized peoples

  • @jsbrads1
    @jsbrads1 11 месяцев назад

    I had a better resolution that would have been win-win.
    Humans have the full right to use matter within their solar system, and the Praxx can partner with humans on the exportation of products. Praxx will provide for all of the shipping and be entitled to the unimproved value of the matter. Humans are permitted to use the matter to create improved products for the matter and they are entitled to the difference in market price. A bottle of wine can be sold on the intergalactic market, the Praxx get a few cents per bottle sold after they ship it to market, the humans get the remainder of the market price less the difference in handling of fragile products and any brokering fees freely negotiated with the Praxx or any other race.

  • @damirserbanovic
    @damirserbanovic Год назад +1

    LAW & Order in Space , subscribed for more :D