3 Lessons from Buddha on Ego and True Happiness

3 Lessons from Buddha on Ego and True Happiness.
#ego #selfcare #buddha #happiness
We talked about the reasons why it's important to develop a skillful sense of self on the path. Today we'll talk about the Buddha's instructions in how to do it, and the lessons we learn from doing it well.
A Healthy Sense of Self
The self strategy that the Buddha recommends using along the path derives from the question at the basis of discernment: "What, when I do it, will lead to my long-term welfare and happiness?" This question contains two ideas of self. The first is the idea of the self as agent, the producer of happiness; the second is the idea of the self as the consumer of happiness. When the question says, "What, when I do it", the "I" here in "I do it" is the self as producer. The "my" in "my long-term welfare and happiness" is the self as consumer of happiness.
The idea of the self as agent also introduces the element of control, which the Buddha says is essential to any idea of self. This was the point he made at the very beginning of his first discussion of not-self: If you have no real control over something, how can you say that it's you or yours? It's only through the relative element of control you have over some of the aggregates that you can identify with them to begin with.
Now the Buddha has us use both the idea of self as producer and the idea of self as consumer as part of our motivation for practice. For example, concerning the self as producer, there's a passage where Ven. Ānanda tells a nun that even though we practice to put an end to conceit, it's only through a certain kind of conceit that we can actually practice. The conceit he's referring to is the conceit implicit in the idea, "If others can do this, so can I." This relates to our confidence - as producers of action - that we are competent to learn how to do things correctly and skillfully. This healthy sense of "I" gives us confidence that we can handle the path. Without it, we wouldn't be able to attempt the path at all.
The Buddha also teaches us to use the idea of self as consumer as motivation for the path. There's a passage in the Canon where he's apparently talking about a monk who's getting discouraged on the path and is thinking about going back to his lay life. Essentially, he recommends that a monk in that situation ask himself, "Do you really love yourself? Are you going to content yourself simply with the food, clothing, shelter, and medicine of lay life even though this means staying in the cycle of birth, aging, illness, and death? Or would you really like to put an end to suffering?" The implication here is that if you really love yourself, you should try to put an end to suffering. You should care for the self that's going to be consuming the results of your actions.
So what should the self as producer do to show genuine goodwill for the self as consumer?
The traditional answers for the Buddha's question - "What, when I do it, will lead to my long-term welfare and happiness?" - fall into two classes. The first class gives specific do's and don'ts. The second class gives advice on how to determine for yourself what's the most skillful thing to do in a given situation.
In the first class, there are the practices called "acts of merit": generosity, virtue, and the development of goodwill. Each of these practices fosters a healthy sense of self.
When the Buddha teaches generosity, he emphasizes the fact that you're free to give. In fact when a king once asked him, "Who should I give things to?" the king expected that the Buddha would say, "Give to me and my disciples." Instead the Buddha said, "Give wherever you feel inspired." In other words, he encouraged the king to practice generosity as a way of exercising his freedom to choose.

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