what being agender means to me!

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  • Опубликовано: 23 янв 2025

Комментарии • 76

  • @Rebel_Vamp1r3
    @Rebel_Vamp1r3 3 года назад +119

    After all, clothes or hair have no gender, or at least they don't have it in my opinion, however our gender identity or lack thereof is not determined by what we wear or whether our hair is long or short, it's the "gender" as social construct which society deems based on what reproductive system we've got! Very well explained :)

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +11

      Exactly, thank you so much!

  • @lolymop333
    @lolymop333 3 года назад +89

    To clarify: Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are 2 separate things and they usually match, but they don't always.

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +11

      Very true!

    • @nal004
      @nal004 Год назад

      Wrong

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick 9 месяцев назад

      @@nal004 Um no

    • @nal004
      @nal004 9 месяцев назад

      @@DinosaurNick explain to me the difference then please? I can see the difference between romantic, platonic, and familial. However romantic attraction is inherently sexual. Romance is a word used to describe your desire to be intimate with another.

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick 9 месяцев назад +3

      @@nal004 Romantic attraction is often associated with intimacy. But this is usually cuddling, hand-holding, hugging, and maybe kissing.
      Sexual attraction is quite literally who you'd have sex with.
      You can be romantically attracted without being sexually attracted (Think someone that is asexual and homoromantic)
      You can also be sexually attracted without being romantically attracted (think heterosexual and aromantic)
      You can be with a partner in a romantic relationship, and it not be sexual. (Do you have sex with your partner 24/7, and is it NOT romantic attraction if you're NOT having sex?)
      You can also have a sexual relationship without it being romantic (are friends with benefits, one-night stands, and prostitutes romantic?)

  • @notaburneraccount
    @notaburneraccount 3 года назад +53

    I'm agender too 💚 I'm so happy there are more and more of us out there! 😌 You're amazing! New sub here :)

  • @zanelememani1695
    @zanelememani1695 3 года назад +27

    Oh my goodness!! Honestly, I have learnt so much from this video. for example, I had no idea that "Queer" and "Transgender" were umbrella terms. I LOVE how you use this platform to educate people like me :).

  • @KoketsoBe
    @KoketsoBe 3 года назад +31

    I loved how you showed us different sides of you, sharing your truth, and allowing everyone else who doesn't know you, into a space so personal! I'm so proud of you baby! ❤

  • @MartianEnby
    @MartianEnby 3 года назад +18

    Thank you so much for this. I recently came out as agender. It is a breath of fresh air to see views from all over the world on gender identity. Also you are a beautiful person inside and out. I'm trying to get better at correcting people and not feeling like I am a burden.

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +2

      I'm trying too & thank you. You're amazing, remember that. 💖

  • @TEMPEST4k
    @TEMPEST4k 2 года назад +8

    You're a beautiful person, I love your energy! Thank you for posting this!

  • @britneyswann8329
    @britneyswann8329 6 месяцев назад +1

    I was assigned male at birth, had my documents changed and I'm medically and with surgery, yet I don't feel female nor male. I identify as agender, one thing I know, I've never been a man. I love hearing from other agender folks! Thank you!

  • @Amandasutton-w6q
    @Amandasutton-w6q Год назад +3

    I love your honesty and authenticity. Really enjoyed this

  • @heccinchonkercat
    @heccinchonkercat 2 года назад +12

    Hello! Sorry if this is quite long… but I don’t really know how to use any other social media platform to ask for advice
    I’m in my nearly late teens, and for a while (few years) I’ve occasionally thought about what gender orientation I align with. I’ve always come to the conclusion that “it doesn’t really matter, gender’s kinda made up anyway” and left it at that. I’ve always had a desire to appear more androgynous however, and only recently have found the confidence to go through with it; but now that I’ve become more aware of different labels, I’m nearly sure that I’m agender. I don’t believe this really makes much a difference, since I’ve even thought along these lines as a child, but I have a boyfriend who is bi and only attracted to men or women (specifically women preference). I’m not sure what I should do.
    I make an effort to appear more feminine with him, since I do enjoy our dynamic, but I’d really like to start to dress more androgynous, and I tend to at most times except when I’m with him or have a cute outfit. I especially really want to use they/them pronouns, and after years of thinking “i shouldn’t since I’m not non-binary” (i was not very reasonable with myself), i finally asked my close cousin to refer to me as such and felt such a huge relief and joy. I would say I don’t really mind my boyfriend continuing as things are, but I don’t want to hide things from him.
    Any suggestions? I really don’t know what to do. I’m pan so I don’t really know if that would be a dealbreaker, since I myself don’t mind whatever gender or lack of gender my partner identifies as.
    Tl;dr: i’m agender but haven’t told my bi boyfriend who I’m worried would no longer be attracted to me. I want to use they/them pronouns but don’t know how to break the news

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  2 года назад +12

      Hey, pardon the late reply... I just never check my comments :(
      I completely understand where you're coming from. It's quite difficult to be in genuine romantic relationships while being androgynous/agender.
      What I would advise is, be honest with your partner. Do not allow yourself to fall prey into his desires (what he wants you to be). When you are aware of your gender identity, inform your partner - inform him about your pronouns as well.
      As for the appearance, you cannot change your self-expression for someone who doesn't live within your skin. It's easier said than done.
      Personally, I love being feminine & masculine - for myself. Dressing & acting a certain way only for your partner - takes away from you... who you are.
      If your partner genuinely cares for you, he would not mind nor hesitate to learn more about you. You have to be emotionally independent, changing yourself for someone else's benefit takes a toll on your health.
      Fall in love with yourself before someone else.🫶🏽

  • @NOAH-um7go
    @NOAH-um7go 3 года назад +7

    You make me feel so good in my skin

  • @SejoeKutloano
    @SejoeKutloano 3 года назад +3

    i love it, i love it! very informative. to more in the future. 🥂🍾

  • @mako_onarnia8037
    @mako_onarnia8037 3 года назад +7

    U are very beautiful inside and out♡
    u have helped me to learn a lot and now i can move forward in finding myself🏳️‍🌈
    for that i will always be grateful
    ✨감샇밤니다✨
    Btw ur voice is beautiful🖤

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +3

      🥺💙Thank you so much, you're truly appreciated! Stay amazing!

    • @annashiva4035
      @annashiva4035 3 года назад

      And another one has been brainwashed by this bullshit

  • @frankieli361
    @frankieli361 Год назад

    I appreciate you speaking out about this❤

  • @soda_the_clown
    @soda_the_clown 3 месяца назад

    YEY another agender South African 💚 i feel more safe

  • @xryxix
    @xryxix 2 года назад

    Nice genuine conversation! Def followed! Hope yall have a good day 🍀🍀🍀

  • @Muhluri
    @Muhluri 4 месяца назад

    It's cool to see another agender south African here

  • @croissantduck7916
    @croissantduck7916 3 года назад +1

    Hiiiii so thrilled I found this channel

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +1

      Thank you & welcome to my mess. 😂💙

  • @jaked5144
    @jaked5144 3 года назад +1

    Lekker. Appreciate you being so open 🙏

  • @warriorcatkitty
    @warriorcatkitty Год назад +2

    I'm also agender! I still use she/her pronouns, but it's out of familiarity to them more than it's a refection of my identity as I don't feel any sort of connection to pronouns in that way. If I'd been raised with any other pronouns, I'd probably keep using them too. I also still present typically "feminine" (I don't wear dresses or skirts or anything like that, I don't even wear make up, but I physically look like a woman and I have no desire to change that. again, this is mainly out of familiarity and me not really caring about my looks)
    Recently though I have also started using ey/em alongside she/her, just kind of testing the waters since I think they sound cool. I have a homophobic parent though so I haven't been able to get anyone to use them irl yet, sadly.

    • @Mr.PinkEyes
      @Mr.PinkEyes 7 месяцев назад

      bro uses ey/em pronouns and thinks its valid

    • @warriorcatkitty
      @warriorcatkitty 7 месяцев назад

      @@Mr.PinkEyes LOLLLLL get lost transphobe xD AND HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BISHES 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

    • @Mr.PinkEyes
      @Mr.PinkEyes 7 месяцев назад

      @@warriorcatkitty calling a transgender person a transphobe for offending you is wild. people like YOU aare the reason homophobes exist

  • @sillyandjoyus1959
    @sillyandjoyus1959 3 года назад +6

    Is it possible to be agender and still be a lesbian?

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +4

      Hey, of course. The best term is gynophile. 💙

    • @weecharlie01
      @weecharlie01 2 года назад

      A lesbian is a female homosexual

  • @DinosaurNick
    @DinosaurNick 9 месяцев назад

    I'm agender too and happy I found you! I feel lonely as an agender person because everyone I know is either gender fluid, cis (man or woman), or trans (man or woman).
    My pronouns are they/per/e

    • @Mr.PinkEyes
      @Mr.PinkEyes 7 месяцев назад

      bro uses per and e pronouns.

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick 7 месяцев назад

      @@Mr.PinkEyes yes. Per is short for person and is used as per/per/per/pers/perself and e/em/eir/emself is spivak pronouns. They've been around a long time.

    • @Mr.PinkEyes
      @Mr.PinkEyes 7 месяцев назад

      @@DinosaurNick ok but theyre still really stupid

  • @NcebaYakhe
    @NcebaYakhe 3 года назад +2

    I love this video ... Kakhulu ...

  • @mxlexie
    @mxlexie 2 года назад

    I'm pangender, standing in solidarity 💪

  • @-.-._---_--_._-
    @-.-._---_--_._- 3 года назад +1

    123rd subscriber!

  • @lettiemokgatle8450
    @lettiemokgatle8450 3 года назад +1

    ❤❤Love it

  • @averia0
    @averia0 Год назад

    this means a lot to me:) thank u

  • @jimiwills
    @jimiwills 11 месяцев назад

    Sub. So relatable ❤ thank you for sharing

  • @terriem3922
    @terriem3922 Год назад

    What language are you speaking? It sounds really familiar.

  • @Xiantei
    @Xiantei Год назад

    Same, I'm also agender

  • @nomsaleshaba4240
    @nomsaleshaba4240 3 года назад

    🤩🤩🤩🤩wow!

  • @idku698
    @idku698 3 года назад +1

    Yo bro, how you edit your vids???

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад

      Hey, many apps actually but the most ones are inshot & kinemaster.

  • @NcebaYakhe
    @NcebaYakhe 3 года назад +3

    Do you realise it took me a while to recognise you with a cap on 🙈

  • @emanuelephrem4307
    @emanuelephrem4307 3 года назад +2

    is there a line between delusion and gender expression....or should a person believe anyone when they say anything..is there an objective line?

    • @JustLesiba
      @JustLesiba  3 года назад +6

      Gender expression is relevant to some people. In a sense, it's quite subject as one's expression of self belongs to that particular individual.

    • @emanuelephrem4307
      @emanuelephrem4307 3 года назад

      @@JustLesiba how do we know if one is lying or not...where is the line precisely? between deception confusion and honest self reflection

    • @GynxShinx
      @GynxShinx 2 года назад +8

      @@emanuelephrem4307 Are you afraid of people lying to you about their gender? I am not. I'll pretty much believe anyone when they tell me their gender. What is there to fear?

    • @emanuelephrem4307
      @emanuelephrem4307 2 года назад +2

      @@GynxShinx That is what the scientific community call low resolution thinking.
      "Believe anyone with any claim"
      Is what naive children do! Even children know that's foolish.
      It seems to me your simplistic and overly optimistic view of humanity dosnet put in to consideration the capacities of the human heart.

    • @GynxShinx
      @GynxShinx 2 года назад +9

      @@emanuelephrem4307 No, really, what's wrong with trusting people talking about themselves? I'm not talking about science, I'm talking about societal functions. If you meet someone and they say they are a football fan, do you ask them for evidence or do you just assume it's true?

  • @MEADOW..
    @MEADOW.. 3 года назад

    So like some days you feel like a boy and some days a girl?

    • @GynxShinx
      @GynxShinx 2 года назад +3

      Though I can't fully speak for the person in the video, I can somewhat clarify. I'm pretty sure everyone has some fluid feeling of masculinity and femininity from day to day and those that change their gender identity every once in a while are called genderfluid. Agender usually refers to the lack of a gender. While agender people may have some masculine and feminine fluidity, they don't identify as men or women at those times and simply feel that no such category describes them well.